>>34162691

>Eclipse Phase
>Spies ON DA MOON
>One guy turns up, gets mission dossier from boss
>Refuses to open it, it might be a trap
>Someone else opens and reads them out
>Refuses to do any of them, they might be traps
>Say he can fact-check stuff with his muse
>Says he lies to his muse so much it doesn't even know who he is
>Doesn't trust boss man, worried he's a double agent
>Aggressively shouts down any plan anyone comes up with
>Uses pretense of "my character's a professional, he won't do anything that might be a trap."
>Apparently this extends to leaving the fucking house

Only came to the first session, didn't come back to later ones and no-one missed him

>>34162691


This is more an autism/that guy story, but it did end in RAEG


>Homebrewed campaign.
>One guy is playing a character named "Azlan", a powerful spellcaster.
>Explicit in campaign setting that whether or not the Gods exist is unclear, and that there's no separation between "divine" and "arcane" magic, there's just magic. There are no openly empowered people a la DnD clerics.
>A big spell wheel, including one for divinations.
>Azlan wants to use some Divinations, says that he's contacting his lion-god, and demanding answers about a number of plot points. He does it in this "I want to know the plot GM, TELL ME NAO"
>GM tells him that gods like that don't exist, and he can't contact a deity for direct, personal Q&A sessions.
>Flips the fuck out.
>Starts screaming that "divination" has its roots in the word "divine", and that any setting with divinations must be contacting the Gods for information, and ergo there are gods.
>Argues for about half an hour straight, only stops screaming because his voice gives out.
>leaves and never comes back.


And what was weirder is it totally came out of left field. He was a bit munchkiny, but he wasn't that bad, and to go off on a bender like this was really, really unexpected.

Monopoly.

That shit is evil.

>>34162799
>This is more an autism/that guy story,
Autism/That Guy stories are completely welcome

>>34162691

I had a tabletop wargame that actually got me punched.

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>>34162796
I can imagine some kind of PTSD spy with fucked up mind going "EVERYTHING IS A TRAP!".
He want's to wash his hand? Check for trap and waits and see if the water is going to explode.
He made an sandwich? Check if olive isn't poisoned.
Shit goes on and on.

>>34162921
>I had a tabletop wargame that actually got me punched
no story?

>>34162921
Storytime.

>>34162921

STO-RY
STO-RY
STO-RY

>>34162931
The catch is, it is more palletable as an NPC than as a PC, in that it would have a lower chance of interfering with the group's fun.

I do have to wonder if the player was trying to use the game as a way of working out his real life mental issues.

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>>34162799
>Argues for about half an hour straight, only stops screaming because his voice gives out.
Holy shit.

>>34163005

I don't know, apparently he was complaining of health problems or something? But I have mental issues and I don't put them in my game.. at least not explicitly. I mean, EP is cool in that it does let you kind of explore and externalize that stuff I guess.

>>34162957

It's jargony, that's the only reason I hesitated.

>Playing rather niche mega game called World in Flames
>Operational level WW2 game, rulebook is 120 page long clusterfuck, it's not so much that there are too many exploits, but there's unclear stuff.
>So usually, around the time you haggle over optional rules (A lot of them favor one side or major power, so there's a lot of horse trading), people sit down and agree which of the unclear rules/exploits mean and will be allowed.
>Autismus maximus in one particular game is quite a skilled player, but has this "The rulebook is my bible and everything that is in it is intended by our Lord and Savior designer Harry Rowland."
>Steadfastly refuses to believe that there are any instances of just lazy writing, despite the manifest evidence of such, and insists there is hidden meaning.
>Also insists that there are no exploits. If the game wanted to forbid something, it would have forbidden it. It's not "cheap" to move all the factories out of Vichy France, and you're an idiot if you think it is.

cont.

>>34162921
Was it 40k?
Were you playing any flavor of spess mahreens?
Were you spouting retarded quotes like "FOR THE EMPRAH"?

>>34162957
>>34163125


>We bid for powers, I wind up playing the USSR, France, and the Chi-coms, and he's playing Italy and Japan.
>At the start of the game, the Japanese and the U.S have a trade agreement, which is heavily favoring the Japanese. However, if the Americans fail to deliver, it's huge diplomatic penalties, which can prevent them from ever entering the war.
>However, at the time we were playing (the rules have since been errata-ed) however, the penalties didn't accrue if the resources weren't delivered, but was keyed to whether or not the convoys were in place to deliver them.
>If you're at war with someone, you can do a "search and Seizure" which prevents resources being transported by a third party you're not at war with to the power you're at war with.
>There's nothing in the rules at the time (this also got changed) saying that it has to be someone on the other side.
>November, 1939, France declares war on Japan.
>Some of my cruisers set up shop in western canada.
>Every turn, I do a search and seizure and prevent the resources from going to Japan.
>The convoys are still in place there, so no penalty.
>Searching and seizure of an allied side convoy actually GENERATES U.S. entry, despite the fact that it's their ships I'm holding up.
>The U.S. could theoretically stop me by moving a few ships into the area to protect his merchant vessels, but hey, no skin off of his nose.
>Smugly ask if this was intended by the designer.
>Get punched.


Totally worth it.

>>34162796

>Professional NEET

>>34163160
Did you kick his ass?

> me playing my favorite shithead rogue in PF
> loots bodies with like +15 sleight of hand, basically auto-looting all gems and coins even in the middle of battle
> plays it off totally cool, people think he's a douchebag but in-character don't know for sure
> weeaboo player gets made because he's basically a child in a grown man's body
> months later
> new campaign, new characters
> him playing a kitsune ninja
> rushes past everyone
> activates trapped chest and then grabs everything that was in it
> we can all see him clearly
> gets butthurt when our characters call him out on it
> wonders why I could do it but he can't
> unfriends me on Facebook
> later tries to re-add me claiming he got "hacked"

tl;dr learn to separate character knowledge and player knowledge please

I had a dude who refused to play with our group ever again, and has abided by that decision for something like six years now, because a sea serpent didn't deal half damage with its attacks. The rules stated that weapon attacks dealt half damage underwater. There was, however, a sidebar, that he didn't see, and refused to acknowledge, that said that natural weapons for creatures native to the water were unaffected.

One of our guys was underwater being grappled, while the rest of us were shooting whatever projectiles we could manage to fight it without actually getting in the water with it, and this guys was like, "My character is disillusioned by a world that does not operate under logic, but by the cruel and bizarre whims of a higher power. I'm going to sit here and wait to die." And he did. And he's never played with us since.

>>34163345
I hope you all called him out on this.

>>34163345
>>34163386

I hope he wakes up one day to find you've burned the text of that sidebar onto this fucking dog.

>>34163386

Oh we did. Many times. Showed him the text. The whole deal. But he's one of those guys who's sure that he's the peak of intellect and logic, and disregards puny human emotions and shit (you know, the kind of guy who masturbates to Ayn Rand), and he will literally deny to his dying day that anything he's ever done was wrong.

In my current group, a session ended early because the DM and one of the players got into a fight over exactly how strong the player's character was. The player's character was a fighter, and tried to kick a wrestling ring so hard that it flipped over and sent the combatants flying. He rolled decently well, but the DM called shenanigans on it, and said the PC injured himself for trying it. Needless to say, the session devolved into arguing, and we all called it a night.

>>34162691
Several instances in our Twilight Imperium games. One of my friends abruptly stopped coming; I guess his ego got so fragile over the years of being a NEET he couldn't take the stress of losing a game of pretend galactic conquest every other week. He also stopped playing Magic and BSG. The other two tended to be between me and guy A and between guys B and C. A's a bit of a sociopath and a callous backstabber, and he also had a habit of drinking beer until his turns got glacially slow. When someone expertly breaks your spine for one victory point it doesn't help when he also takes ten minutes to actually get to it. He eventually stopped drinking so much and I grew some more thick skin, but what with me being considered a mediocre player, if he's next to me I can bet he'll come over to mangle me just to make sure he can exploit me later. Between B and C, B is awfully defensive and quick to get insulted while C gets carried away with micromanaging and tends to start trying to play other people's turns. C is also a nasty good player who knows the game in and out, so B gets extra defensive and insultive if he feels C is messing with him by proxy. B is the cause of most of our interrupted games, due to arguing, scuttling all his ships then sitting in his home system and refusing to play, or just folding and going home.

Me and B are also a pair, but in that we make others frustrated. We tend to gallantly keep demilitarized borders between us, politely haggle over contested planets and generally strike mutually beneficial deals then abide by them.

>>34163483
Why would you not allow a player to do something so hilarious?

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>>34162691
Long while ago I posted a Dark Heresy story time

http://suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/archive.html?searchall=duskwood+hearts

I never finished it because of scheduling, but if anyone read them (the votes say someone did) it ended with an OOC fight between Uriel and Cu's players. The phrase "You metagaming FUCK" was the point GM said "EVERYTHING EXPLODES YOUR ALL DEAD"

Honestly it needed to happen. Metagame sabotage and hate was at an all time high. We tried to keep gaming but it never really worked out. Later this killed a WoD game with the same "You metagamig fuck" sentence.

No more problems though since Uriel's player now lives in Florida

Been thinking about posting a long recap of the inbetween and a "this is why OOC is bad" stroy about the ending but have been incredibly lazy

>>34163246

Nah, I just laughed as the other guys at the table moved to pull us apart. Provoking him was enough, you know?

>>34163005
I would be fine if he just did it paranoid. Like checked everything for traps and did background checks on the bus boy

To actually not do anything ever? No, that's dumb

There was this one guy in a campaing that lasted for around 1,5 months.
The GM said early on that it will be deadly as fuck (which in the end it weren't) so we had to make three characters. In the end, if everyone was alive and/or well, we would have a huge mega fight with all of our characters at once (Yes, it was a clusterfuck. Hell, there were three or four casters who also summoned shit.).
He would remind us of this every session and talks with us how awesome it would be.

Finally the fateful end session is upon us. But there was this one guy. This fucking guy. First of all, he never had tokens ready and was always confused as fuck about everything. So when our GM is ready to start, he asks for his third charcter sheet (he was a newbie GM so he didn't really bother to plan around the PC's). Lo and behold, he didn't have the fucking sheet. This dude had 1,5 months time to do that shit. 1,5 months! And we reminded him many fucking times!

I then proceeded to verbally tear him a new one and after the dust had settled, I felt sorry for my outburst and the session went nicely after that little episode.
The end.

>>34163978
Seems like autism on your part, was he new to the game?

>>34162931
>lol so random he is completely paranoid to the point where it's a serious disability xD it's funny because he'll go all "BETTER CHECK THE DOORMAT FOR BOOBY TRAPS" when he step outside and that's totally wacky xDDD

>>34164326
that's the gist of it, yes

>>34164326
>we were in the sewers and like the DM describes this rat and he totally thinks this rat is out to get him and so he rolls an insight check and, I shit you NOT, a NATURAL 20! Now he can talk to all rats and they tell him about stuff. Best game EVAR

>>34164200
No. He had been in our group for about 2 years now, but this was the only time when we had mandatory backup characters.
Like I said, he had 1,5 months time to do what can be done in one evening (mechanically creating a character without a deep backstory) and everyone reminded him every session.
He just didn't do it. It just showed how much he didn't care about the hard work our GM and the rest of our group had done for this campaing.

Also he has a retard (the screaming kind) brother that always yells at the background of our voice chat because he never rememebers to use push-to-talk properly.

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>>34163686
To expand Uriel's player was a player who liked to break systems, and Cu had unknowingly done the same. Tolerable if not for two things
A) we were all lore fags and Cu's strange daily lore changes for Dusk and his character had us scratching our heads and mad.
B) Uriel's player min maxed because the player HAD to be the most powerful, otherwise they didn't have "fun"

I'm ashamed to admit many of us were on Uriel's side due to the roleplay shenanigans of Cu and the fact that, while Uriel shit on all of our characters Cu made Lupus' existence moot. Gm didn't do stealth much plus our poor understanding of the rules had lightning attack works on great weapons. When Uriel's player told us he was going to make a character specifically to shit on Cu's we were all for it. What fools we were!

Uriel was retired and a minmaxed to fuck Adept appeared. He came out with a greatweapon and fucked off combat armor, as well as some psyker powers because lol backgrounds. That's just the tip.

Metagaming on a disturbing scale then took place as his character specifically targeted and taunted Cu about more or less everything pertinent to his character he wouldn't know. Cu in turn tried to punch him to neglect a psyker spell being cast on him for metagame reasons.

Uriel's player dropped the "you metagaming fuck" line, shouting started, and GM blew us all up. As days went on we realized Uriel was worse then Cu ever was. Our admiration of Uriel's player was based on false pretenses. He was a cool 28 dude while we were just around 20 or under. He had life experience we thought made him wise. Cu's odd roleplaying and personality had us against him slightly from day one. Later we realized how petty the whole thing was and that Uriel did the same bad fluff minmaxing with ALL his characters. More fights started to break out over the years once we saw the difference between naivety and someone who HAD to win in RPGs.

Don't be blinded as we were.

Moar

>>34162691

I had a game, long time ago, which ended in lots of shouting and tears at the GM. He outmaneuvered us wholly and completely, and the clues were all there, we just missed them, we were in such a rush. And at the end, when we realized that the bad guys were one step ahead of us, and the entire big longshot plan was for nothing.... It wasn't so much rage, but a kind of despair/rage.


The sort of thing that we might have lynched our DM, but a week later, when we had time to come to grips with it (and continue the campaign as it went into a new, darker tone) we thought was super brilliant. Full greentext story in the next post.

>>34165424

>playing neat little homebrewed system..
>There's a lot of very powerful magic that isn't really useful to murderhobo types like ourselves, stuff that you need to have a LOT of prep for, exotic materials, days or weeks spent casting, etc.
>So there's a lot of stuff certain types of mages can do, but they can still be weak as shit to a guy with an iron poke-stick running him through, and actually, most mages tend to take a support role, not a direct kill you role.
>Be a kind of special forces unit to a nation with a lot of magical resources. We're nominally under a military command, but we're often given long-term assignments that we have to operate pretty independently for.
>Our nation, with a few allies, are getting our asses kicked by a coalition of other countries: They've somehow managed to engineer a near-endless tide of monstrous humanoids to supplement their forces, and for about 4 months real time, and longer in game time, we're fighting this desperate rear-guard action, just trying to slow them down.
>Now, ordinarily, we should have been able to stomp them. Our country has a lot of these powerful ritual mages, and we should be able to just teleport behind their lines, teleport back, wreak havoc, and even if we can't match them in a head to head fight, use that extra mobility our magic gives us to turn the tide.
>Well, the bad guys aren't stupid, and they have these "Blankers" in their command post, which among other things, make it very hard to use teleportation or other ritual magic in their area of effect. And basically, they've been building them, advancing to the lip of their umbrella, building another one, and creeping up towards us. Slow, but hard to stop.
>Basically, on a recon mission, we find a blanker being built.
>And our capital will be in range of this one.
>High Command comes up with a longshot plan.


cont

>>34165552

>We're lucky, we have a hidden facility (long, long story) about 30 miles from the command post, and we managed to stuff some elite troops into it.
>Now, they can't take out the command post's garrison themselves. There's a big group of regular troops, and a fuckhuge undead legion.
>SO, the plan goes (roughly) as follows.
>The undead legion has a weakness, they're all under the direct control of a liche: We sneak in, disrupt or better yet kill the liche, and they'll all go dormant.
>Another army, (They were attacking us from the north, and we had a rare victory in the west) would advance at the command post, and draw out the remaining human/humanoid troops.
>This would leave the place under defended to the point that the guys in the hidden research facility could hit the command post, smash the blanker.
>It has to be timed really precisely though, because if we just destroy the blanker, they pull back, build another one, and press on when it's done. We'd buy a few months, but that's not enough.
>No, the big bosses want it timed EXACTLY right, so that we knock out the damper when the offensive is just about to be launched, so we catch the bulk of their forces in the field with their magical protection pants down, and ream them.
>Already quite a bit of trepidation in the group. Each phase looked pretty likely to succeed, but it's always bad when every single thing has to go right or the whole plan falls apart.
>Our segment goes well. We get into the liche's castle, we fight our way to the top, we barely manage to bring her down, can't destroy the phylactery, but just disrupting her would be enough to make the undead quiescent.
>Unfortunately, phase 2 ran into a snag.
>Specifically, an uber-demon that pretty much wiped them out.
>So when the army attacked the command post, it wasn't a handful of the people actually working there, but a full 2,000 enemy legion. They got cut to ribbons.
>The offensive succeeds, and the capital is sacked.


cont.

>>34165677

And that particular campaign ended with us hiding in a little base towards the western provinces, trying to figure out how to constitute an effective resistance after this debacle.


And the worst part was, it wasn't some Diabolus ex machina asspull by our GM. The thing about the demon was hinted at in a bunch of little clues we stumbled across while running around in the adventures we were doing to prepare for the strike. But he was running this super time-intensive campaign. Every day it was getting a little worse, towns were burning, armies were shattering, and we had to HURRY. And, I don't know, it kind of infected us OOC as well. We weren't thinking, just rushing from thing to thing and mission to mission, grabbing as much magical loot and stuff to get ready as quickly as we could.


We could have stopped the demon summoning, if we had put the pieces together, and he had a different ending written out if we did. And that last segment of the campaign lasted weeks: and the whole time, he knew that none of it mattered, that the campaign was doomed, whether or not we dealt with the liche, at that point it was too late to stop the summoning.

And oh damn, was I mad. The entire party was mad. But the sort of mad that made you want to cry into a beer at how unfair the world is.

Best damn campaign I ever played in.

>>34165762
you GM is fucking great

This happened a week or two ago, it was great watching it.
>first session after long hiatus
>the previous session had ended with the PCs in jail cells
>one of the characters, a dashing space captain, is sprung out by a group of mercenaries
>mercenaries were myself playing a new character because my old one sucked ass, the space captains real life girlfriend, and a DMPC
>immediately the space captain demanded the gun of the DMPC
>DMPC said no
>after being intimidated he finally gave up the gun
>captain gets his guns back from storage and gives the DMPC his gun back
>fastforward to end of the session
>mercenary ship is ded
>captain's ship is the only way off the compound that was slowly sinking into magma
>captain let myself and the other merc onto his ship, but not DMPC
>demanded the DMPC's gun, as a symbol to remove got between them in the first place
Possibly worth noting that the Captain was a huge egotist, always making power plays
>DM starts getting angry
>shouting match begins
>DM accuses the character of autism

The funny thing is, the two of them honestly just look for reasons to argue, last year they argued if cleverer was a word or not.

>>34165762
Sounds sweet anon, never played any tabletop game but MTG but this makes me wanna play

>>34165762

Your group is filled with wonderful people, and I can't help but applaud your ability to continue having fun past a bad situation. Moreover, your ability to say "Wait, our poor decision making is what lead us to this" is something that I admire you for. Too often the DMs are made into the punching bags of the players, beaten down and ridiculed when things don't go exactly their way.

Leastways, that was my own experience with the last campaign I ran. It was a terrible time in my life, filled with horrible things of which that campaign was only one.

Kudos to you for not being such a terrible person to your own DM.

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>>34163125
>>34163160
worth

>>34162691
thinking back I saw someone get attacked at a yugioh tournament in 2003, but the guy was totally cheating and deserved it
>putting the same exact cards at the top of the deck two matches in a row and not expecting his next opponent to notice
get out of here slime machine tokens.

Actually come to think of it did anyone ever shuffle in the show?


other than that I've seen a few rage quits but usually games get dissolved from external stuff between people, not ingame stuff

>>34166066

I blame the rise of CRPGs. Because they're so limited in scope, it fosters a sort of mentality of

>There is X amount of goodies in the form of loot and XP and other stuff that I can possibly get in this game.
>Anything that causes me to get less than X is a failure/bad.


A tabletop should keep growing the longer it's gone on. And if you don't get something, oh well. There's always something else neat to find. As a sometime DM myself, I have a rule that if the players see more than half of the areas I've sketched out, then something's gone wrong.


Also, for that line of campaigns (It wasn't the first campaign set in his little world, although for the vast majority of them we were different parties. That one was part of the longest arc to date we've played with a single gang of characters) things always went wrong. And I can't remember a single "happily ever after ending". We usually "won" for some definition of winning, but there was always extensive collateral damage and problems all around, even in the most complete of victories. It inures you to stuff.

>>34166764

Sounds like your DM or more generally your entire group made good players of each other. That's important, and more difficult to come by than you might think. Treasure your good fortunes anon.

>>34162691
>Homebrew Setting
>Players roleplay themselves in a sci fi altverse
>On the run from evil robots
>Player 1 sees destroyed drone, picks it up
>Host yells about how it will get them tracked
>Player 2 sides with Player 1
>Player 3 sides with host, telling player 1 to leave the damaged drone
>Player 1 gives drone to Player 2
>Host goes ballistic
>Players 1 and 2 and me (GM) confused
>Player 3 STORMS OUT
>Host tries to kick out Player 1
>WTF.jpg
>Player 3 comes back
>I tell Host and Player 3 that they wont be tracked
>Host and Player 3 complain for weeks about me playing favorites

These people are friends in real life. Idk what the fuck got them so bothered

I feel bad for you guys.
I've been luckily blessed my whole life with a wide-ish circle of battle-brothers and good friends who are always down for games, whether its CP2020, Planescape, Arkham Horror, whatever.
As we've gotten older it's largely turned into beer and pretzels games, though.

>>34162799

>argues for about half an hour straight

Why do GMs put up with this shit? Sometimes players need to be firmly reminded that the title is called Game MASTER and what they say goes.

>>34166981

And sometimes Game Masters need to be reminded that without players, they have no game, so they better appease the ones they got.

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>>34166981
Sometimes DM's need to lay it down.

>>34165762
Should've continued the game by leading a resistance group to take back everything based solely on lies and empty promises.

Or was that Demon a sign of the end of the world event?

>>34167012
I would kill to play a game like that.

Absolutely kill.

I've been aching to play a guerrilla war / resistance game for about five years.

>>34167002
I've found that games run so much smoother without the players.

>>34167002
>APPEASE MY FAGGOT POWER FANTASY
The role of GM is a fucking job, sperglord.
There is no joy in it. Only watching the stupid fucking players ruin everything because they are autistic murderhobo rules lawyers.

>>34167074
And tell yourself lies like "well they murdered him in a way I wasn't expecting, what an exciting campaign".

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>>34167074
>>34167175
I feel sorry for you having shitty groups.

>>34165862
Cleverer is not a word at all. Why either of them would think it was just further leads me to believe you should have left this group a while ago

We had one time when a player stormed out of the campaign after he had his character leave the party because we weren't going fast enough for his liking and then the players and gm told him to cut his shit out when he used the character of a player who was absent to try and kill a girl being held captive by two goblins because their boss was using her as an intercom.
We ended up rescuing the girl using my Psion's time skip power to transport the bombs that were chained up to her a few rounds forward in time while we got her out of the way. We negotiated with the goblins to leave her with us after that guy left.
He forbade the GM from coming to his house as well

>>34165862
>DMPC
Whud dat?

>>34167484
DM, playing a PC. Usually a bad idea.

>>34167012

We actually kind of tried. We managed to track down where the information on how to do a ritual of this kind of magnitude (it wasn't an end of the world event, but to control a demon of this level of power implies serious badassitude ,of which only about 3 people in the world's history were capable of) found a laboratory of a guy named Cyrantheus, who was our world's equivalent of super-raistlin, TEH BEST MAGE EVAR but really evil and kind of cartoon stupid, and began combing the ruins for something that could help us turn it around.

Sadly, the game fell apart for RL reasons around then, so the story, as yet, has no ending.


>>34167484

Not him, but a Dungeon Master Player Character. Basically an NPC inserted into the party who starts to usurp PC functions.

>>34167484
An NPC that the DM takes direct control of, usually to the point that the DM is less of a DM and more of a player in his own campaign.

Usually not as bad as most people make it out to be, since most non-autist DMs use them as sort of a guide or just to help and inexperienced group out along the way.

>>34167002

They didn't have a game anyway because they were too busy arguing. That sort of shit should never fly.

>>34167010

See even the judge is on my side.

>>34167736

Man, I keep worrying with the game I run if some NPCs are turning into DMPCs because it's a 5 man group in LotW...and that's nearly impossible to run opposition for and have the battles take a reasonable timeframe.

So I tend to split them up into 'Group of 3' and 'Group of 2 with an NPC ally' and have them run into linking situations that are not quite in the same place and most of the NPC allies are recurring (If not always the same ones)

>>34162691
Games that have made me the maddest:
>LEGO Bionicle the board game
>Home Alone the board game

I've never flipped a table in anger but those games have brought me the closest. LEGO Bionicle is probably actually even worse since I was WINNING at that game and was so mad I was about to explode.

>>34162691

A story of DM assbaggery and a clever wizard.

>Was playing a fantasy roleplaying game
>We'd broken into a merchants store in the middle of the night to steal some important item
>Party comes across a locked cabinet, the rogue tries to pick the lock
>DM says the lock can't be picked because it is magical
>Wizard tries to dispell it
>DM says the spell cannot be broken ever
>Fighter examines the wooden cabinet then says he is going to pry it open with his crowbar
>DM says it cannot be opened by force because the wood is stronger than steel
>I suggest we lever the cabinet door off its hinges
>DM draws the cabinet and says the hinges are internal despite the dimensions of the cabinet not allowing the doors to open inward
>Engineer in the group gets fed up and examines how and why we could break the cabinet open or pull the boards off the side or move it to access the rear which is typically thiner wood
>DM says the cabinet is now riveted to the shops wall so it cannot be moved
>DM starts shouting at the party saying we cannot get into the cabinet so move on and it is made of almost indestructible wood that is harder than steel or stone.
>The PC's (us) are having spent 30 minutes trying to get in the cabinet and having the DM ignore finally snap and all start shouting at the retard ass.
>Party wizard casts telekinesis on the cabinet and says he moves it
>DM says he can't
>Wizard reminds the DM the cabinet is stronger than steel so the rivets and wall would break before the cabinet would, proceeds to throw the cabinet through the wall of the shop where the DM had placed guards because 'your characters are arguing loudly in the shop' despite the fact we were arguing with him OOC
>Wizard crushes the city watch to death with his unbreakable cabinet
>DM rewinds time and lets the rogue pick the lock
>Cabinet contained a random loot table item (the DM just hadn't wanted to roll on the table)

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>used to be into Yugioh
>friend brags about 2 trap cards he just got, Ring of Destruction and Barrel Behind the door
>Ring of Destruction causes both players to lose half their life points
>Barrel Behind the Door takes life point damage received and sends it back to the opponent
>basically a 1 hit kill combo
>We shuffle and start up our duel
>He goes first and lays down 2 trap cards
>mfw

I thankfully drew 7 Tools of the Bandit (a card that disables trap cards)
A little fun fact about 7 Tools for non players, it's a trap card and can negate itself if the other player has it. So if I play 7 Tools to negate something the other guy does, he can play his own 7 Tools to disable mine.

>I eventually beat him in that duel
>2nd duel starts up
>he lays down 3 trap cards
>mfw

We got into a shouting match after I accused him of cheating and he refused to let me see the cards because he wanted to continue the duel. He was almost crying at this point (we were both 13) and so I just grabbed the cards and flipped them over.

>They were in order: RoD, BBtD, 7TotB
>mfw

>>34168169
ha that DM sounds like kind of a dick

>>34167859
You should definitely explain both stories anon.

>>34168267
We're really good friends and most of the time he's a good DM but he wasted the whole session pulling that shit. This is other crowing moment of bullshit.

>Party captured by guards and put on trial for assassinating a nobleman
>Noble had previously tried to kill us so we came back on him hard
>We understood that there would be consequences and were ready for a trial scene.
>Characters got tried separately (to prevent me from defending everyone)
>Rest of the party fucked up their arguments and were sentenced to the plot railroad
>I was the only person who won their trial (tricked the DM into using a line of questioning that to logically consistent eventually required my actions against the noble to be not permissible under the law but encouraged by it IIRC)
>Was punished worse than everyone else in the party because the DM hated losing.
>The DM had an over-levelled DMPC follow my character around for the next 12 sessions to prevent me from doing anything that wasn't his plot railroad

>>34168515
The dreaded DM Parole Officer.

>>34167002

The word appease is a poor choice. Appeasement is an unconditional kowtowing to a set of demands. It is a situation where one party benefits and the other loses some variable amount to prevent the other party from doing something even worse. Let me say, if this is how you view the hobby, please take a step back.

If you view your DM as some sort of slave to your enjoyment, then you have a problem. DM and player should both benefit from a game. If you quit, everyone is spared your rules argument. If they quit, the campaign is over. Put that in perspective before you start thinking about who should be "appeasing" who.

No rage or anything, but my DM admits he literally does not understand me sometimes.

I'm a big fan of Persona. DM runs a Persona-inspired campaign(though with bonded homonculi instead of Personas). Not once did I ever call mine, which i regretted afterwards a bit(because the guy with our normal minis was out of town, I used a Dr. Doom Heroclix mini, and was Dum, pronounced Doom, and my homonculus Dumbot).

Another game, my character is a Bloodknight Blackguard, enjoys killing things including one mission where my "boss" preferred I not. Due to later plot events, he storms my new battleship to make me chill the fuck out one way or another. He has him draw a sword I used a long time ago, had some epic battle music set, and...we calmly talk things out like reasonable people.

Pathfinder game, I'm a Bard, and not the party face, preferring to make more subtle contributions(because I'm a Neutral Evil rock star with my reputation to consider).

>>34168515
Nah, he sounds like a cunt.

>>34168814
well this had nothing to do with anything

>>34168869
No you

>>34168814
are you a grill?

>>34168277
>Home Alone
I play quite a few board games, by the nature of them many of those happened to be adapted from other things, such as movies or toy lines (I could tell you a tale about the Neopets boardgame as well). This one stands out though as a shiny beacon of shit in a stormy sea of licensed effluence. Remember that card game "Memory" from when you were younger? This game is basically that but on a larger scale. You are given dozens of bits which contain rather non-descript runes meant to depict various things you could find in a house. Some of these are "valuables" and others are "traps". The only difference between them is a list in the rulebook which you must memorize. Players spend approximately an hour taking turns placing these markers one at a time on the board and then cooperate the move the two robbers around the house and steal their opponents valuables without stepping on opponent's traps. Mind you, you have no idea what's placed where so it's all just a stupid fucking guessing game. The best way to win is to have your own McCullough Culkin token get captured at the earliest opportunity (there is no penalty for this, it's just the bizarro end condition of the game). I have fucking memory though. It's a game that has the lowest possible skill ceiling and all the strategy and excitement of breathing. The advantage actual Memory has over this game is that it ends in a few minutes, whereas Home Alone can go on for hours as your opponents cause the robbers to run away from each of the four McCullough Culkins because they don't have enough points to win and my group (myself included) is too cut throat to just end a game when we know we won't win. You gotta play serious or go home, even when playing a shitty game.

>LEGO Bionicle
Coming in next post

>>34168169

God, the last time I included an invincible cabinet in my campaign, I put it there expecting the party to use it as an indestructable bludgeon. And they did. The barbarian used that thing to crush giant spiders, stone statues, and to battle a magical hawk to a standstill, all of this while they were the size of common field mice.

They carried that thing out of the fey realms and back to the real world for a solid month before the wizard finally took the time to open the damn thing, wherein they found massive piles of loot (as the two surviving party members of a four man party). I mean piles of gold, platinum, gems, and a +7 suit of fullplate I randomly rolled.

However, they shed a single tear for armoire bro, who gave his last that they might take his fat loot, whereupon he became nothing more than a normal, extremely breakable piece of furniture.

>>34162691

Ah, yes, I am familiar with rage, particularly from my party and particularly when their own damn idiocy gets them into massive bouts of trouble, like the time half of them decided to sit down in a war zone picking apart a dragon corpse after splitting the party. Clearly it was my fault when bad things happened.

>>34163265

You sound just as much like That Guy.

>>34166261
Sometimes they showed them shuffling before a game, sometimes they didn't.
I can't speak for the rest of the cast, but Yugi/Atem's Millenium Puzzle power is explicitly drawing the right card at the right time.
Cheating? Yes it is.

>>34168266
>Be a judge
>Quietly giggle at casuals using b& cards

>>34169316
The Duel Disks in the show auto-shuffle your decks for you.

In other news, does anyone want to hear about my Yugioh stories at my FLGS or would that be annoying to hear about?

>>34169373
If they're rage or lulz worthy, share please.

>>34169328

Fuck tourney rules.

>>34163469
Rand's not even that hot.
Besides, Emma Goldman a best.

>>34169388
>Be judge, but I enter the YGO tournaments anyways
>One day, Playing Exodia First Turn kill (Draw engines with Exodia), people fucking hate it because they get to watch me masturbate for five minutes every game.
>We have a small group of about 5 ~25 year olds that are legitimate aspie weeabo basement dwellers that smell bad, I'll get back to them late
>Start Round 1 of this particular tournament
>Thoroughly shuffle deck
>Hand to opponent
>They thoroughly shuffle it
>Draw my five
>"Hey, [Thier name], you shuffled this, right?"
>"Yeah, why do you ask, anon?"
>The exact top five are a set of exodia, show them, they shit bricks, game two
Happened several matches at that tournament, but I don't remember if I won.

>>34168918
LEGO Bionicle
This is a piece of work. It occupies my bottom of the bottomest tier of board games because while it is mildly more "fun" to play than the endless vortex of pain and tedium which is Home Alone, I mean, there is actually stuff to *do* in this game, it makes up for it by being an infinitely less balanced and stupidly unfair game than Home Alone. This coming from the guy who won.

So let's break this bitch down. LEGO Bionicle the board game, once you get passed all the awkward naming horse shit in the rules, is a semi-standard roll very much in the vein of Pokemon Master Trainer and other games like it. You walk around a board, collect stuff, and then battle the boss. More specifically, you walk around running into Rahi or something, roll the dice and add your power and if you are stronger then them they die and you can move forward. You can also collect power ups which make it easier to fight Rahi and the boss and what not. Unlike other games though these Rahi cause a real problem: It is flat out (and I mean this quite literally) impossible to beat many of them without a power up and if they cannot be beaten they form a blockade which cannot be passed. You start off rolling 1d6 plus nothing to defeat these things and on the very first tile one path is blocked by a baddie whose random value can be anything from 1-7. If you get a 7 you must go the other way and on to a new tile, which has about a 50% chance of being blocked off right at the start of the tile by a monster who's value can run the gamut from 1-21, with a prediliction for 8+. Literally impossible. So yes, about one in ten times you play the game it will simply end after a few moves, because nothing can be done. There is no way anyone can advance, the game is over.

cont.

>>34169554
>pokemon master trainer
my nigga

I apologise in advance if I'm fucking the place up, I guess I'll lay down some exposition
>There's only two of the aspies I remember by name
>One of them has a lazy eye, one of them is a ruleshark that always shows up with his casual deck and loses match 1/2 every tournament although he cheats, used to debate rulings with me every time I called him out on something
>Let's call him "Splorg" because fuck him
>The other aspie is actually cool, has a lazy eye, but openly acknowledges that he's a shit
>Let's call him "Tootsies"
>Tootsies and Splorg show up to every tournment with homemade duel discs
>Made out of pizza boxes
>They also have Character themed decks, and they take after the show by shouting every play they make
>"I tune Fagfuck Synchron and Dragoretard for my trump card! Take flight, Generic Dragon #7!"
>Inside, the store owner plays Clix with his bros while the YGO plebs fuck up outside
>You can clearly hear the aspies play their game from inside, and most of the time Splorg fucked up is when he announced his misplay
>Splorg and Tootsies came every week, and bought a lot of shitty sealed product to pull whatever shit Konami was shoveling into their mouths from the anime
>Because of this, the store owner would never ban them from tournaments for blatantly cheating.
I went to college with them.

>>34169554
Let's make this even worse though. When you do manage to kill one of these things you get an extra turn. It's easy to see why such a thing is in the game. They wanted to prevent one player killing a monster and then the next player right behind him stealing the power up right behind it. So, now the person who actually killed the monster can snatch the power up. This goes exactly where you might expect it to. The first person to kill something grabs a powerup which makes him even faster and better at killing things and grabbing more powerups. This isn't even a snowball mechanic. It's pushing the upper limits of avalanche mechanic. By the end of the game I had all the power ups I was allowed to take and could defeat the boss without rolling while everyone else at the table had zero or one powerups. I could also steal power ups from them if I chose to.

It gets /worse/. In other games you may need to acquire a special item to access the final battle. LEGO Bionicle requires you to collect three very specific items which aren't revealed until you reach the final boss. So you reach the boss, find out which things you need to collect, then spend another half hour searching the board for them.

All in all LEGO Bionicle is the deepest smelliest grade of bullshit and Home Alone is the purified essence of anti-fun congealed into physical form. This is why these are the worst games I have ever played.

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Had a special Halloween game with my Vampire group.

>Zombie Survival one-shot
>We're playing as ourselves
>The DMPC (AKA the DM) answers a banging at the door and a zombie bites him
>Try to call the police, phone lines out.
>Panic a bit. DMPC gets sick, starts to turn pale and talks about craving raw meat.
>HOLY SHIT GAIS ZOMBIES
>Roleplay a heated argument about what to do, and if we should put him out of his misery
>Get so heated in RP that DM's parents think we're having a real argument, come downstairs to check on us.
>Funny, if awkward explanation before we move on with the game.

Does that count? Our actual drama was mostly the bitchy, passive aggressive bullshit kind.

>Start up a game for D&D Next playtest.
>I'm DM (of course) for four of my friends.
>Amazing playtesting campaign for months.
>Sometime after the final playtest packet comes out another friend wants to join the game.
>"Why not?"
>Guy can't focus to save his life. Constantly derailing combat and roleplay with unrelated conversation.
>I tell him that we usually focus on the game when we play together and he seems to understand, but...
>Second session after he joins I just kind of lose it.
>Go off on a tirade about how his actions are spoiling the game for the rest of us by making it so we have accomplished nothing in the two sessions he's taken part in.
>End up putting the game on hiatus until 5e core books come out shortly after.
I really didn't mean to go off on my friend, but he was killing the game for the us. His timing on joining us and pulling that shit could have also been better since we were in the middle of a really interesting dungeon crawl. Now that the 5e Monster Manual is on the horizon, we're considering starting up the campaign again. I don't want to deny my friend reentry into the game, but I don't think he's able and/or willing to seriously participate with us.

>>34169373
Sure.

>>34169809
would have been great if you guys were the sort to cosplay in sessions and they just walk in on their son covered in fake blood trying to eat a slab of raw chicken off one of your faces screaming while the others are loading guns and panicking

>>34162796

This guy sounds hilarious. Either that, or shellshocked from That GM, never able to roleplay normally ever again.

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>>34162691
>Only War
>PC's are playing the battalion Joke, Charlie Squad.
>Charlie Squad hears screaming coming from a few blocks away, while they are deep behind enemy lines
>They locate a psy focus shaped into a lighter, it belonged to the characters of a previous campaign who were on the same world
>they hear screaming again
>Charlie squad ignores it and fucks with the lighter
>A massive Helbrute crests over a demolished building, screaming.
>It chases the PC's
>Psyker Runs casts Haywire Field and runs away
>Weapon Specialist Hides in a Dumpster
>Medic Shits himself in fear and is stunned for D5 turns
>Helbrute is powered down by Hawire field
>Skip forward 4 turns
>Helbrute is chasing the Medic
>massive argument about what Medic should do
>Other players are trying to push rules to fuck over medic
>this shit lasts for 30 minutes
>Eventually medic gets Autocannoned and his face stomped in

>>34163611

Twilight Imperium gets the worst of me in a way even Diplomacy doesn't, but why stop playing BSG? That games fun as shit, and you don't even feel that bad about losing.

pathfinder game
>team leave me and any non-human magic thing in wood for fear if we go to city they find and kill us but I didn't want to be in the woods with-out a ship or spit the party bad shit could happen
>mother fuck zerg rush out of no where thanks the gods an army was there to battle them
>but my team was in the middle of that B.S.
>it took 2week of game play day after day after day I wanted to attack my GM at day 6 >.< sooooo many fucking NPC trying to kill me
>I think I got P.T.S.D. got better

>>34170356

Go back to where you came from.

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>>34170356
What the fuck did I just read?

>>34170347
I stopped because a former friend of mine was cheating. I assumed he knew the rules and rolled with it.

One day before the game started I started reading the rules to kill time. Turns out that my suspicion that the Cylons can't put unlimited cards onto the pile is right; they can only play two.

My friend then mumbles something about he's sorry.

A few months later I stopped talking to him for mostly unrelated things.

>>34167859
care to greentext? seems fun

>>34163265

>GM letting you roll skill checks against PCs

shit dm

>>34170765
Anon come on did you read the thread?
>>34168918
>>34169554
>>34169807

>>34169328
>Be anon
>Quietly giggle at people actually playing Yugioh

>>34172429
I got back in because I ygoh abriged, then. I got right the fuck back out because of power creep.

>>34172594
>Be mod of ygo abridged chatroom
>Quietly giggle at people being persuaded to get back into yugioh

>>34168515
I know he's your friend, but stop letting him GM. He is NOT good at it.

>>34162921
Tell us of this mighty tale.

Not /tg/ but I frequently scream at my monitor while playing Dota

>>34173905
But aren't you supposed to do that?

>>34173905
You must be fun at parties.

>>34173921
Sort of, I just really hate people.

>>34173927
I don't go to parties.

>>34173885

See>>34163125
>>34163160

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>>34164503
>1,5
>1,5
>1,5

THAT IS NOT HOW YOU USE COMMAS YOU FUCK

>>34177731

He's probably European now pick your tits up off the ground, bitchtits.

>>34162796
Eclipse Phase is about conspiracy and horror. He was right all along, and they got to him.

>>34177781
Yeah, nah, this is just the same kind of OOC paranoia that the rogue who checks every 5ft square for traps has.

>>34177772
What kind of Europeans use commas in the place of decimal points?

fuck youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu

>>34170823
clearly you misread but it's just easier to call you retarded

>>34177830
A surprising amount of them, anon.

>>34177865
Oh, ok. I was not aware of that.

>>34168169
I rage quit Pool of Radiance because it was a key quest.

>Have party of two dwarven fighters, strongest in the land, equipped with magical axe and hammer.
>Have the greatest thief, wizard, and cleric in the land.
>Come across locked door that needs the purple key to open it.
>Have thief pick the lock?
>Magical lock.
>No problem, my wizard has the knock spell prepared.
>Magical lock is warded.
>Have cleric dispel ward?
>Magical lock is proofed against that.
>Have dwarves smash and chop down door.
>Magic door with magic lock.
>Well, since I've killed all the monsters in the area, and I have unlimited time, how about I have my dwarves travel 40' and tunnel through the wall?
>You need the purple key.

And that is why computers cannot replace us yet.

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>First time Roleplaying
>WFRP group: Elven Assassin type, Human Mercenary/Veteran, Human Priest of Morr, Human (Can't remember) and me, joined not two sessions ago, as a Human Squire.
>In the lands of Bretonnia, joined the group while they caught me shadowing them for another character.
>Elven assassin and Human Mercenary had some undead-like curse but we find a Unicorn (end of a long quest chain as I understood it) and they are cured.
>Now we need to go to the Elven Forrest, go to a Bretonnian city to find an Elven diplomat that will gain us safe passage.
>Go to the tavern afterwards, passive aggressive ordering of increasingly awful/intoxicating drinks between us and a local group of nobles.
>Head off, Elf bought a riding horse but doesn't know how to ride so I'm leading him with my horse.
>Arrive in the Elvish Forrest edge where we need to take a river boat to gain further access.
>Charging fairly outlandish prices (1-5 more gold per person IIRC)
>Elven Assassin, Priest of Morr and Veteran players start flipping out at the cost, turns into rants about buying our own boat, selling goods to make ridiculous sums because WFRP cannot into economics.
>I try to suggest we find a point to ford the river instead.
>Ranters ignore rest of the group, keep getting louder and louder. Elven player lacks some basic manners and keeps talking over the Priests player. Priest player shows of his complete lack of social skills by exploding in anger and shouting at the top of his voice at the Elf's player.
>Look at the GM, Looks back at me with a gaze that speaks "Yes, two fully grow ~40 old men just shouted at the top of their voices about paying slightly more imaginary gold than usual in a roleplaying game."
>Start packing my shit up as they continue arguing, GM belatedly calls it and says "I probably should have called it earlier."
>Never Role Play in real life again. Online much better, even ran a year long Deathwatch Campaign.

Would love to play in real life but live in Perth.

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>>34163691
>Laughing after someone punches you in the face

That is the far more badass route.

>>34177985
>Perth
I feel your pain

Though I'm actually in two campaigns right now, one is real life friends of mine that I DM. Not much gets done because the group is too big, but I persevere.

Just started a brand new campaign with total strangers after responding to an add in Tactics though. To my shock and horror, they all seem like nice, reasonable people. They're all new at RPGs except for me and the DM and they got into roleplaying with their starter set characters and everything.

>>34178069
Excellent dude, happy for you. Do you know how often people put adds up in tactics or other places I can look for group?

>First time playing a game with another newfriend
>2 other members + GM are much more experienced
>we roll up party blah blah go here and kill shit blah blah
>kill some goblins
>orcs come
>they get fucked
>we capture one
>me and newfriend party member start beating him up
>elf friend starts complaining about this
>gets really pissed off
>we kill the to shut him up and we move on, no words from him
>we die to caterpillars in a house
>roll up new party
>elf friend keeps rerolling stats until he gets some he thinks are good enough
>call him out on this
>he gets snappy
>words are said
>he ragequits the meet
>blames me and newfriend and says his other games were so much better than this

and so I will never get to play again

>>34178100

Theres normally a few ads for various groups in various areas; some of them have been up for a long time though, so how current they still are is debatable. I think I got lucky with this one, as apparently I called up shortly after it went up.

If you're into Warhammer RPG stuff, the local GW stores MIGHT be worth asking at. Lord knows I've never been ever been able to get a Black Crusade campaign off the ground for more than a couple of months, but its worth a shot.

Good luck!

>>34162691
>we go to college colleague y's house to run the game
>person a and b roomate together
>person a drives person b to person y's house
>person y is an anime and game dork who is also generally obnoxious and cant roleplay for shit instead he says things like "i stand there, you know, all badass like"
>person b is a bipolar whackadoo but hes GMing
>argument escalates between the two of them til b shouts at y to "LEAVE. NOW"
>we all look at each other and laugh cause it's y's house
>b leaves, not just the session but the state, drops out of college, etc
>"welp who wants to gm?"
>several people volunteer
>later person y drops out of gaming school and goes to law school

biggest and most jaded group ive ever been in, after awhile we basically got together to powergame, theory craft, and bullshit for 8 hours-3 days

>>34162691

Dah. Is not fun.

I have a friend who is absolutely never happy with anything we play except a super autistic system nobody else likes. He will lie, cheat and throw tantrums any time we play anything but the rest of my group refuses to play anywhere but his house.

Both him and myself have walked out or elevated to yelling countless times.
He is my oldest and truest friend.

>>34162691
So, the four of us in our mostly EVIL campaign had some hostages. We had just ransacked a pirate ship to loot it and sell the skeleton off. And four of the pirates surrendered to us

>Guys, what are we going to do with them?
>jokersmile.jpg
>we break a spear and throw it in the middle of them
>only one can escape
>while they fight to the death we talk about what we're actually going to do
>we should probably just kill him
>but wait
>Let's strand him on that deserted island with the lich with just a hand crossbow and a single bolt
>3 out of 4 of us agree
>That Guy thought we were joking or something
>Fight is now resolved with one badass survivor

>That Guy walks up to him and grabs his balls
>Belt of Giant Strength to pick him up and crush his testicles
>Then Thunderwaved' him to his death by a dozen sharks
>Everyone else in the room is staring
>That Guy starts laughing maniacally so hard he falls off the couch

>PvP ensued
>That Guy was captured and we unanimously agreed to execute her

>That Guy stuck around for like two more sessions and is never coming back

He did other things, but that night was his crowning glory. I'm surprised I didn't get a noise complaint from all the shouting we did to him.

>>34182854
So, killing the guy you were planning on killing in a different manner made him THAT GUY?

>>34184296
We weren't planning on killing him. We wanted a recurring villain with a bad ass backstory. Also, he had previously established himself as That Guy.

>>34177970

Well if it's not in you to apologize for being an asshole, jackass, and dumbass all at the same time at least you can admit when you're wrong.

>>34182854
That whole thing reeks of autism

Dark Heresy

>My partner (A psyker)
>Me the GM playing an NPC who was hosting them in his mansion while they conduct undercover work.

>My partner thinks that the NPCs daughter is involved in a cult. So he goes to warn him.
>Father is too proud and takes this news as an offense to his parenting abilities.
>We're both drunk, 2am
>Shouting match
>The rest of the players are all his brothers and the youngest one thinks everyone is a heretic
>"Well, all we're saying is she's probably a heretic"
>GET OUT OF MY HOUSE

Live on 3rd floor of a 4 story building, all of our neighbors thinks we're dysfunctional.

>>34169328
>Hysterically laugh at a game with so much power creep and broken cards that the ban list is several hundred cards.

>>34177982
>And this is why a computer running a MUD can replace most GMs.*

>>34169512
When I played my exodia deck (it was fucking ridiculous might I add) I would put the five pieces of exodia side by side and then get my opp to shuffle. 80% of the time they would all be under one another still.

>>34162691
>playing Game of Thrones campaign, pathfinder engine
>I'm playing a Rogue, we have a Slayer, a Barbarian and another Rogue
>stuck behind cover because Wildlings are being dicks
>Party agrees that we need some momentum
>I have the initiative, go out from behind cover
>slash with knives, do 4 damage, not bad for a level 1 rogue with no sneak attack
>wildlings turn
>wildling next to me misses
>Wilding Charges out of fucking no where
>GM winces
>fuck, critical
>confirms
>max damage on x3 battleaxe
>I am pronounced dead on the spot
>other rogue blames slayer for urging me out into the open, responsible for getting me killed
>slayer calls bullshit on the numbers, claims GM fabricated the roll
>People start yelling
>I leave the room, don't like fighting
>shouting continues for the next 5 minutes, I can hear them through the walls
>Eventually everyone continues the encounter
Hated that campaign, 5 character deaths in 4 meets. Everyone is doing fine now, but there was a lot of tension between the group for a while

>>34167002

Being a DM is sorta what I imagine it's like to be a woman.

You're rare, and it's easy for you to get players, and when you get them, you can easily send them away again because what you say goes, or else you can call the cops on them.

Being a player is much more like being a man.

>>34188319
Only if you play a popular game.

As an Anima GM, I feel like a man.

>>34162691
Sure. He tried to forcefeed our group a story they wanted less and less and got pissy when people complained. Finally fucked up so hard he pissed off half his players and eliminated any stake they had in the plot in one fell swoop. Game died and he ended up super bitter about it. Flipped out sometime later about how no one should expect him to DM again out of obligation or something.

It was funny mostly because historically he could never accept that his judgement was ever less than perfect.

>>34163619
There are GMs who want their games to be as realistic as possible. If you try to do goofy, crazy, super-human or wacky thing they tell you to play that Super Heroes game or Exalt.

>>34163619
>>34189359
Some people dislike one guy pulling lolsorandumXD shenanigans that derail the session.

Weird, right?

>>34170356
>I think I got P.T.S.D. got better
>I think I got P.T.S.D.
>P.T.S.D. off Pathfinder

Please donate any and all finances you have to spare (or use for hobbies) to various charities helping rape victims and veterans.

I'm not sure you really deserve it.

>>34162799
>sonofacrap.jpg
I know tg has this thing they do where they always blame the GM, regardless of anything.
What I'm about to say is not that, I am mostly a GM and often defend them when reasonable.

I am surprised to say this, but I think this might actually be the GM's fault. Or, at least partially.

The only sane reason I could see for flipping out like that, based purely on this post, was that the player was frustrated by their not understanding what was going on in the plot to wanting to grill a god.
There is teasing your players with a mystery and then there is leading with confusing bread crumbs until they are more frustrated than anything else, which is not fun, which is failure.

If the other players were fine, he could be whiny baby who wanted to be spoon fed the plot, which lessens the GM blame quite a bit.
But I keep an eye out for signs that players are getting fed up with the "mystery."

Or, the guy is just a nutjob about words. You can call soil "earth" even if the planet is not Earth and sometimes it's easier to use the imperial measuring system if that's what the players know, even if they don't make sense in the world.

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>>34193205
you might be the sort of gm that wants to have the most transparent plots possible so that all the writing going to waste doesn't matter but I've never been a fan of people not using their own mind to solve puzzles in favour of casting a spell unless they're full on out of options.

>>34193205
I don't know if I would go so far as to blame the GM, but if I were in this situation and in my personal background knowledge as omniscient GM I know that those gods don't exist then I still would have indulged him somehow.

His character believes that the gods exist and are so personable that they can be contacted. If he got good rolls or w/e arbitrary test I put im through I'd let him go on beleiving that he had a real heart to heart with his god. The information I'd give would either be cryptic to the point of useless or just 100% misleading. The character would believe he was speaking to a god but I'd know that either he made contact with some sort of non-god entity or, if more appropriate, he's actually talking to himself. In which case the information I gave would reinforce incorrect suspicions and prejudices as fact and a rehash of information he already knew.

The result is that now a player is confident in information that is actually incorrect and will be proved to be incorrect eventually. If the ambiguity of whether or not gods exist is part of my story then this is a great avenue into which evidence one way or another can be introduced.

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One of my players constantly interrupts the rules in his favor and whenever he gets called on it argues and tries to act like he is right. Usually can quell him pretty fast though.

I'd kick him out if I had more players and he wasn't the one providing a ride for another player. He's ok most of the time unless things start going bad and he goes full munchkin murder hobo. Sadly his stupidity prevents him from making a over powered character.

He is mostly worse when playing games of magic, last thursday he eliminated me in 1 turn with a burn deck then blew the last player to death in 2 turns. Game right after that gets all pissy when another player swings him with mountainwalk and gets even more depressive when his burn spam gets counter spelled.

I have 4 tabletop games going right now, currently thinking of droppin g this one or letting someone else DM.

I'm getting to bored with this shit

>>34193334
I'm not sure how you got the idea that I like transparent plots from my post.
That I mentioned that I keep an eye out for players getting fed up with the mystery sort of implies that I inject enough mystery that I'm worried they might get fed up with it.
If they are, I let them Scooby-Doo a clue I hadn't planned on revealing to keep them feeling like they are making progress.

I'm basically talking about not being the kind of DM that gives them a puzzles and stares at them until they solve it, which I'm not at all sure the poster's DM was, just saying that it would be an explanation for the rage.

>>34162691

Well, I've been meaning to share my story with /tg/ for a little while. It's a story that tracks my last year and a half of college DMing. I ran for a group of my close friends and it inevitably lead to a downward spiral of despair and rage as things got progressively worse. That said, I'm curious if anyone would have a particular interest in seeing the whole story writ large in its own thread. It has magical airships, demons, undead pirates, and adventure that breaks intermittently to point out where the players made a shit show of things.

That said, my real concern is that it is long and that I lack a ton of illustration to go with what will likely be many posts. Any thoughts or interest?

>>34194068
My advice?
Pre-write it, you don't need a ton of images and if you feel you need more than you have, google image search vaguely appropriate images to pepper in, and do it.
tg digs storyime

Seriously though? Write it out first.

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>>34194157

I already have it written out. That's why I know it is a long read. That said, I am a bit OCD and obsess over details whether they matter or not. Presentation in the form of reaction images adds a certain level of visual appeal and interest to a story. That said, pic related is probably the only reaction image I would really need just plastered every post past the midway point.

>>34167002
It's the job of everyone at the table to make sure that the game is fun and the group is cohesive. The GM's job is to run the gameworld itself. They have no special obligations out-of-game that anyone else doesn't also have, except for the added planning time between sessions. They are EXPECTED to do a lot of things because players are unwilling to solve their own personal problems like adults, and a lot of them do it only because nobody else will.

>>34193205


Guy who posted the story here:


He had never flipped out before quite that bad, but there was something not quite right about him. He would often get a bit hot if things didn't work out the way he thought was reasonable.

Played with him in a completely different game, a big sci-fi shoot em up thing, and if the enemy craft had hidden shields, he'd whine about how it was unfair. We were the classic rag-tag rebels, so a lot of our equipment would break down, more or less randomly, and pretty much every time, he would complain, loudly.


The mystery in question wasn't even that.... direct, for lack of a better word. We had fallen in with an NPC, who had a number of pretty nasty guys after him. Since we were hanging around, they started gunning after us. For a long while, we didn't know much about what Kassin's (NPC's name) deal was, but at the point in the campaign, we weren't even that far along with too many concrete clues about Kassin. Simple survival and getting somewhere safe was the order of the day. He didn't want to know about where would be safe or what to do next, it was basically a demand to the GM to tell us the secret of Kassin's powers (which were weird) were functioning: and it was very clear that this was a Big Plot Point with the capital letters, not something that should be resolved with a simple spell.

Nah, the rest of us were fine with it, although the campaign fell apart for different reasons, I only found out a lot of this stuff because I asked the GM about it once it was clear we were never finishing, but we were on the road to getting it before the party self-destructed.

>>34194394
I'd read it.

>>34195329

Think I might post in a sec, just keep an eye out. Probably going to title it "Storytime: Kaidas Warriors" or some such. No idea what to put as the first image though.

>>34193334
If you don't make a mystery that can survive someone casting a basic spell, you didn't plan it very well.

DM: "The corpse is stabbed in the chest, as if he was attacked head-on! Who killed this guy? There's no obvious physical evidence, so you'll need to investigate-"
Player: "I cast Speak With Dead"
DM: "What?"
Player: "If he was stabbed in the chest, he should have seen it coming, right?"

A bad GM says "IT DOESN'T WORK, HIS SPIRIT WON'T SHOW UP" or some variant.

A good GM has the ghost appear, but then says the guy had his face covered so he didn't see his features. Then the ghost gives them a clue based on his killer's physical build or something, like "He was a slender man, and I think he might have had blue eyes."

Then the players use that to hunt down all of the slender blue-eyed NPCs they know. If you haven't even thought this far into a mystery, you shouldn't run mysteries.

>>34196360
a simple murder isn't the entire plot sir, the dead guy probably doesn't know why they were killed in a lot of cases, and even if they saw the face, unless they know the person, it's pointless.

your example is bad and you should feel bad
there is no guarantee any of those slender blue eyed npcs are the one that killed the man regardless

>>34196449
Of course not, but it does give a good opportunity to have a the local lord and his blue-eyed son show up four sessions later, after a rash of similar unsolved murders in the city.

Then just watch the party collectively shit themselves and see if they go for their weapons immediately. Especially fun if they went on a witch hunt prior to that NPC showing up in town. And then you can have the local lord defend his son even when the evidence starts piling the fuck up.

"Why did you never tell us your son had blue eyes when we started the investigation?"

>>34195329

Well, sharing with /tg/ sure has been fun this evening. You'll be happy to know that the aforementioned thread is presently crashing and burning in a most non-spectacular fashion. I'll have to say I'm a bit disappointed.

>>34196759
Why didn't you post it here? I didn't even know there was a thread for it.

>>34193334
>>34196449
>>34196566

The point is that the players used a valid method to try and gain information through their powers. If you give them a flat "no" just because you want them to "use their brain" instead of using perfectly valid abilities, then you're just being arbitrary. Don't be so obsessed with your own puzzles that you withhold even a tiny amount of information from your players just because they used direct or unplanned methods.

"Using your brain" means using the resources you have available. They are using information-gathering abilities to gather information.

If you mean "They won't think like me", then you're just running one of those shitty PC adventure games. Any puzzle you make that only accepts a single solution isn't a puzzle that requires clever thinking, it's a puzzle that requires doing exactly what YOU want them to do.

>>34163265
>months later> new campaign, new characters> him playing a kitsune ninja> rushes past everyone> activates trapped chest and then grabs everything that was in it> we can all see him clearly> gets butthurt when our characters call him out on it

I had the opposite of this happen once.
our party had just cleared out a group of bandits from an old ruined fort and were searching the place, each of us taking a room.
roll my search check, my Rouge finds a bag of gems. "Awsome, okay I put the bag in my vest pocket and keep looking." (the character was a wilderness rouge and wore a survival style vest over his armor) one of our players freaks the everloving fuck out. He starts loosing his shit, saying that I'm hiding loot and that if I'm doing that he's taking some of the coins he found and so on. I'm sitting there blinking and explain I had no intention of stealing anything, I only said he pocketed it so he could keep looking with one hand free and the other holding a lantern, as would make sense. He pouted the rest of the night.

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>>34196884
there's of course a tonne of ways it could have been handled but the player was trying to be a whiny bitch resorting to using the argument that divination comes from the word divine, as an argument that 'god exists', which frankly, is the worst argument for religion I've heard since "the bible says so" but it's even more laughable since this is all in a game of pretend, and the language the characters are speaking is just as likely not english where we use said root words to name our fancy spells

in the story the guy even mentions he's a munchkin, the gm said 'no' so the player through a massive fit and if you have players that will, as in the story, yell until they either get their way or their lungs give out, you are not simply making poor decisions in story telling, but poor decisions in group gathering.

>>34196759
Shoulda storytimed where you knew you'd have a (comparatively) sympathetic audience.

>>34196759

I am pretty happy about that actually.

>>34197125
I'm not arguing that the player didn't unreasonably explode, I'm just arguing that using your powers to solve a puzzle is perfectly valid when your players aren't insane.

>>34197421
well then, I completely agree.

>>34177985
I live in Perth and I play every Wednesday and Saturday. Why does living in Perth stop you from playing in real life?

>be average-weighted guy who smokes somewhat frequently in a game full of overweight neckbeards
>play kind of cyberpunky-thriller homebrew game
>make a slightly older, unattractive sniper merc who smokes a lot as a self-referential joke
>over the course of campaign, get pretty invested in this guy, his quest to clear his name after being burned by his original agency, stack up a lot of enemy NPCs and a couple of friendlies who are crucial plot links for the rest of the party
>one night, we all agree to take a "15-minute break"
>"15 minute break" is always at least half an hour because everyone else invariably decides to go to jack-in-the-box and I shrug and say "nah I'll just have a smoke out back"
>get back from break, everyone else is back already, sans fast food which is strange
>they say they put my character on autopilot since everyone but me was back, and he got shot since I was taking so long
>"how bad?"
>"he's dying. you can say your last words"
>medic steps up to try and heal him, but it doesn't look good
>what the fuck
>ask why he got shot and if anyone else is hurt
>"there's an enemy sniper we haven't found yet, your character lit up a smoke and got picked off"
>"okay, but I don't appreciate that happening on autopilot, and he wouldn't have lit up a smoke in the dark if he knew there were enemies"
>make the best of it, pass on the name of my major enemy to the medic
>make a couple last rolls to try and save myself from ridiculously high wound penalties, can't make it, character dies.
>GM has shit-eating grin
>"Well... Smoking kills"
>He fucking rehearsed that line
>They wanted me to stop smoking and killed my character to do it
>Endless rage

Still haven't played with them again. If they had an OOC problem with me smoking fuck them for killing my character to bring it up

>>34165762
That is the DM I hope to be, one day.

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>>34199190
GM a game for them and have their characters die of heart failure.
"Well... Eating Big Macs 24/7 kills."

>>34195144
Excellent.
I am glad I was wrong.
It sounds like he has serious issues with unknown variables in gaming and lacks the emotional maturity to control himself.
I wish him and you luck in the future, separately of course.

>>34162796
That sounds like me, but less extreme. I've played a lot with a Killer GM because he was the only GM and I became so paranoid that I can't roleplay as anything other than Stork from Storm Hawks.