>>33883145
>>[] Run through the nearest asteroid belt. Customs don't go there.

Fuck the police

>>33883145
>>[] Run through the nearest asteroid belt. Customs don't go there.

>[] Run through the nearest asteroid belt. Customs don't go there.
For the interest of picking up momentum, I shall follow the others lead on this.

>>33883145
>[x] Run through the nearest asteroid belt. Customs don't go there.
Can go letting the fuzz catch us

>>33883145
[x] Run through the nearest asteroid belt. Customs don't go there.
I will be grading you on realistic asteroid spacing.

Better be smuggling centaur dakis. Accept nothing but the best.

>>33883145
>>[] METS LE GAAAAAZ
no idea what this is, therefore its clearly the best option

>>33883169
>>33883175
>>33883185
>>33883186
>>33883246
>>33883262

"Lewis, please recon- Aaaah!" That was your copilot, Assa. Only other human aboard this vessel.

You swerve the fuck out of the way of the Cutie G frigate and dive into the asteroid belt.

"Captain Black, you can't do that, that's hazardous!" You can hear your dryad navigator tell you.

"More hazardous than telling me what to do?!" That shuts Karri up real good.

You're going against the goddamn current, here, but you've escaped space tentacle monsters before. This is easy as shit.

Out of the corner of your eye, you see the new girl, oozing slime through her new shirt and blazer, cowering next to Assa, who's crumpled in a head. Ass up, to boot. That's what got Assa on board in the first place.

Haha, whoops, big one coming up dead center.

Roll 1d100 and sacrifice a goat. DC is 80.

Rolled 40

>>33883300

Rolled 87

>>33883300

Rolled 77

>>33883300
We got this

>>33883300
Reminds me of the wife-beater heroic pilot Cid Highwind.

>>33883308
You pull the handbrake a raise the nose, like your mentor, old man Cid Highwind, taught you to. The Cobra maneuver makes your ship hop up over the rock and drop back down.

Shit, two more on your flanks! Quick, an aileron roll!

Whew.

You're in the clear for now, the rest of the belt is small time pebbles.

"Karri, put the shields up! I'm gonna-"

>[] "Teach the newbie how to pilot. Here girl, sit on my lap."
>[] "Give Assa a hand." If you know what you mean, which you do.
>[] "Check the course." Actually just brush Karri's leaves.

>>33883379
[x] "Teach the newbie how to pilot. Here girl, sit on my lap."
autism/10 I hate you so much

>>33883379
>[] "Give Assa a hand." If you know what you mean, which you do.

Rolled 59

>>33883379
>>[] "Give Assa a hand." If you know what you mean, which you do.
Dat booty

>>33883379
>[] "Give Assa a hand." If you know what you mean, which you do.

Commence the suggestive eyebrows.

>>33883379
>>>[] "Teach the newbie how to pilot. Here girl, sit on my lap."
Because damp laps are fun

>>33883379
>[] "Give Assa a hand." If you know what you mean, which you do.

"Yes, sir!" You can see Karri's flesh-bark darken in a blush, so unlike the pale green tone her skin usually has.

You turn the autopilot on and walk over to where Assa is. You pull on the hem of your pilot's glove and bring your hand back, then bring it down on her supple, lithe butt.

Smack!

"Ah!" The rippling shockwaves are mesmerizing. "Wh-why can't you be a gentleman?! At least sometimes!"

"Pfft. Get up, come on." You extend an open hand and pull Assa up onto her feet. She pats herself all over to get the space dust off.

"Captain, we've got an emergency!"

"What now, Karri?"

"There's a Hustler-class on our tail!"

"No match for our Scarface-class. What's the issue?"

"It's Louis Puntmeat's vessel!"

Aw shit. Louis C.K. Puntmeat. Your worst rival, after Bicep McTricep and Ripe Odour. This can mean only one thing.

>[] "Man the Caine Cannons!"
>[] "Assa, sit that ass down and METS LE GAZ."
>[] "Turn this motherfucker around! We're gonna ram the clown."

>>33883494
>[x] "Man the Caine Cannons!"

>>33883494
>>[] "Assa, sit that ass down and METS LE GAZ."

>>33883494
>Jam their transmissions.
At least one crewmember will go "Fuckin' technology never workin'!"
And then Louis C.K. will take like 5-10 minutes coming up with a preachy rany about how our generation is all spoiled little shits who can't appreciate space travel.

>>33883494
>>[] "Turn this motherfucker around! We're gonna ram the clown."
That buttface.

>>33883514
>>33883518
>>33883547
>>33883548
All these different responses, damn.

Still writing the update to OOQ, if you guys are over here.

>>33883547
>preachy rant*

>>33883547
Will change my vote from >>33883548 to support this.

>>33883494
>>[] "Assa, sit that ass down and METS LE GAZ."

>>33883494
>[x] "Assa, sit that ass down and METS LE GAZ."
Let's cheese it

"Turn this motherfucker around! We're gonna ram the clown."

"Captain, you can't be serious-"

"Oh I am laughing."

"Yo, Cap. We're out Caine Cannon ammo," says Brawlia, her tanned skin glistening from sweat, muscles visible beneath her drenched tank top.

"Oh, damn. Assa, sit that ass down and-" You dash for the main pilot's seat.

"METS LE GAAAAAZ"

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NknDhF0f2iY

You and Assa coordinate your movement like a couple that knows all their partner's movements by heart. Push the autopilot button to turn it off, twist the overdrive and slam the gas. The sudden acceleration pushes you back into your seat and sends the slime girl flying into Brawlia. Those two lovebirds moan on the floor - one hit her head, the other got sweat in her fuids.

>[] Keep running through the belt. You're halfway there.
>[] Pull out of the belt. Your rival and professional masturbator can't make the turn.
>[] Run through the belt, supermaneuver to shake the Hustler-class and THEN dive out.

>>33883676
>[x] Run through the belt, supermaneuver to shake the Hustler-class and THEN dive out.
This is obviously the best choice, it's got the word super in it

>>33883676
>[] Keep running through the belt. You're halfway there.

>>33883676
>Keep running through the belt. You're halfway there.

>>33883676
>>[] Keep running through the belt. You're halfway there.

>>33883700
>>33883704
>>33883725
>>33883778
Had to grab a drink.

You keep your foot glued to the accelerator and squeeze all the power you can out of the Engine - which runs on crushed hopes and dreams. Any other kind of H&D is too inefficient.

You turn a left, run a frolov chakra under a real big space rock and press onwards.

But then a customs ship pulls up alongside you. It keeps pace with your beloved Dakimura (no relation to Dakimakura, no sir!) and flies next to the asteroid belt.

Fuuuck!

>[] Flip them the finger through the glass. You know they'll see it.
>[] Grind to a halt.
>[] Pull out of the belt toward the planet and do a nap-of-the-earth, then keep going to Ark 19.

>>33883885
>Flip them the finger through the glass. You know they'll see it.

>>33883885
>>[] Flip them the finger through the glass. You know they'll see it.
Fuck these fuckers

>>33883885
>[] Flip them the finger through the glass. You know they'll see it.
FUCK
THA
POH
LEECE

>>33883885
>>[] Pull out of the belt toward the planet and do a nap-of-the-earth, then keep going to Ark 19.

>>33883900
>>33883902
>>33883926
>>33883935

You gather all the strength and testicular fortitude granted you by the Cristo Redditor. Those Tumblrist theocrats are guaranteed to lose it. You flip them the finger through the glass in a flourish, then make an even fancier gesture - you make a T with your hands like judge calling for a timeout, then make jerking motions with the bottom hand.

Basically, you just called their Trans-Empress a dickgirl. A futa. A succubus.

Their Godfather-class, slow but powerful, accelerates further. Not least because of the jet stream that much coming out of their asses, that's how mad they are.

One of the Customs Inquisitors pushes his face up against their frontal glass. He's mouthing something.

"I... Will... Fuck... You..?"

>[] Ram them.
>[] Try to ram Puntmeat into the Tumblrists.
>[] Run a nap-of-the-earth by the planet surface and turn towards Ark 19.

>>33884002
>[x] Run a nap-of-the-earth by the planet surface and turn towards Ark 19.
Time to beat it

>>33884002
>[] Try to ram Puntmeat into the Tumblrists.

>>33884002
>Try to ram Puntmeat into the Tumblrists.
Well, Louis's on port, and the Tumblrites are on our right, right, Wright?
So we piss off Louis, and the Tumblrites some more, goad them into ramming us, then adjust our Z coordinate either positively or negatively while they've already got the momentum going.

>>33884002
>>[] Run a nap-of-the-earth by the planet surface and turn towards Ark 19.

File: noel daki.jpg (287 KB, 827x2560)

287 KB JPG

Here's a Noel daki to raise player morale!

>>33884091
>no guns
Is that a missprint or have people designing it no taste wwhatsoever?

>>33884102
This is the non-/k/ version. The /k/ variant has just the guns.

Well, this probably goes up with ESCAPE FROM SEX ZOO as one of the most eyebrow-raising quests I've seen on /tg/...

>>33884002
casting the tiebreaker vote for
>[] Try to ram Puntmeat into the Tumblrists.

>>33884126
Thanks, anon.

>completely over-the-top 'humour'
>generic space action setting
>dakis mentioned a total of twice
2/10, it's shit.
I'm out.

"Hey, Brawlia?"

"What's up... Cap?" She replies, getting up.

"Jettison one of the hookahs into our friend there. A 'safe' one."

"Aye-aye!"

You wait for the satisfying crunch of metal against metal until you know for good that Louis has been baited. He runs to you on your right and makes a brave attempt to smash into you. His timing is perfect, because so do the customs guys.

You pull the nose up and z-swerve out of the way, leaving two charred carcasses in your space dust.

"I'll be in my cargo hold," you tell everyone and leave the rest of the piloting to them.

After all that stress, you need to get your fix.

File: yuri daki.jpg (783 KB, 1237x3484)

783 KB JPG

There's only one real question: which daki do you go to for comfort? Could it be the vintage Yuri daki?

>>33884208
W-what? This exists? I-I-I

File: Spoiler Image (274 KB, 325x900)

274 KB JPG

Or will you use the equisite Char daki?

>>33884248
Exquisite, rather.

Damn, typing with one hand is hard.

>>33884208
>>33884248
We go to both for comfort, for we are a true connoisseur of Daki's and can handle more than one at a time.

>>33884208
>>33884248

>>33884296
This guy has the right idea of it

Are we gonna have to fight off the accursed 3D womens?

>>33884248
Dis one.

File: 490px-Druids.jpg (79 KB, 490x600)

79 KB JPG

>>33884367
SILENCE! Speak not of the accursed ones. Lest you draw them to us.

>>33884296
>>33884320
>>33884372

You're in the cargo hold now. You have the two best damn dakis you've laid your eyes on - your trophies, earned over the years of smuggling. Without a second thought, you jump into the basin of one particular hookah - stuffed with hug pillows of all shapes and sizes.

'Don't do it!' they told you. 'You'll get addicted!' they said. 'There's no going back!' they warned.

But it's bliss. Pure, soft bliss. You hug Yuri and Char tighter, their faces and lascivious expressions rubbing right up against you. The marshmallow softness begins to overwhelm your being. You can feel your mind going blank, your consciousness drifting away.

No, no! You can't give in! You'll get an...

Overdose...

"Cap! Are you alright?"

Huhwhatwhogoesthere.

Oh, it's Brawlia. Riooans have no sense of privacy. Their women are all tan and muscled and their culture revolves around "skinship". Absolutely disgusting.

Not like your precious Char, who never sweats, never exudes any bodily fluids. She's clean. Pure.

"Banzaaai!"

Oof! You feel a hot, sweaty woman land on your back.

"Get off-"

"What? I thought 'banzai' is what Terrans say when they do something stupid!"

That's beside the point. She'll get sweat on your dear Yuri. Unacceptable.

"Just leave me alone! Can't you see I'm trying to have some alone time?"

"Come on, Cap..." Brawlia says in a husky voice. "You know that's not healthy for a man like you."

She straddles you, sits up on your back and slides a hand down your back. You shudder.

>[] Say something?
>[] Resistance is futile.

>>33884456
>[] Resistance is futile.
Just let it happen

>>33884456
Not on the dakis!
Take me if you wish but leave them out of this!

>>33884456
>[X] Pillow fight
no smut allowed

>>33884456
>>[] Resistance is futile.
The resistance of the dakis, that is. Don't let go. Don't ever let go.

>>33884456
>Resistance is futile
Just...keep sweat of the dakis.

>>33884456
>[] Resistance is futile.
You must surrender yourself to defend yourdakis

>>33884479
>>33884521
>>33884526
>>33884528
>>33884548

"Not on the dakis!" You yell. "Take me if you wish, but leave them out of this!"

"Hehe... I knew you'd understand, Captain Black."

You don't let go of Yuri and Char, not even for a moment, as Brawlia undoes the buttons on your overcoat. She pulls it up, then slides her hands between your shirt and bare abdomen.

"You don't want any sweat on your precious pillows, right?"

Her hands are oddly cool, compared to her sweltering hot thighs. She's positioned perfectly to play with your vulnerable stomach. She adjusts herself ever so slightly to sit on your glutes, massaging you intensely, her hands roaming hungrily over your torso. She works her way up, gradually, then begins to descend...

And descend...

And descend.

You come face to face with a painful decision. Brawlia's hands work over your lower abdomen and buttocks, then begin to close in. You can surrender your purity, which belongs to the dakis along with your heart. Or you can surrender their purity and swat the intruding musclegirl away.

You'll get sweat on Char and Yuri, but...

>[] Fight back.
>[] Let Brawlia have her way with you.

>>33884634
>Let Brawlia have her way with you
This is practice for OOQ, OOQ

>>33884634
>[] Let Brawlia have her way with you.
Cry a little.

>>33884634
>[X] "Char! Yuri! Save yourselves! I'll hold her off!"
>[X] Throw them to safety.
>[X] ASSUME CONTROL OF THE SITUATION.
It doesn't count as losing our purity if we DEMOLISH her with our own hands before she gets our pants off, right?

>>33884707
this

>>33884634
>>[] Let Brawlia have her way with you.
They must remain pure

>>33884707
This is the post of a wise man, seconding.

Alright, looks like we're topping. Please wait warmly.

>>33884707
fuck yea this

>>33884790
The captain bottoms for no 3DPD!

>>33884790
>Please wait warmly.
Fuck Quest OP, is that you?

File: 1384907568332.gif (987 KB, 500x452)

987 KB GIF

>>33885121

>>33885186
I'm not really sure what you're trying to get across with that image.

File: 1359584849123.gif (2.92 MB, 240x150)

2.92 MB GIF

>>33885240
Good.

File: Have to bear with it, I guess.jpg (43 KB, 500x328)

43 KB JPG

>>33885380
Is this what we're doing now? Posting random images while OP does his best and is preparing?

File: Ten years since last post.gif (2.56 MB, 313x255)

2.56 MB GIF

>>33885435
Seems to be the case.

>>33885435
Its worse in his proper quest.

>>33884790
I think QM had a heart attack writing his scene.

It's no use. You won't let her get Char and Yuri dirty. You can't sacrifice them. You're a man.

You throw them aside, to safety. You turn your head to Brawlia.

It is time.

You swing your body around and throw Brawlia off - right onto a huge orc dakimakura. Brawlia's large, muscular body presses into the fabric, her silhouette digging into the daki. She stares at you with surprise, shocked at your momentary display of strength.

She doesn't know what you'd do for your dakis. She's better of not knowing.

You advance on her and plant your hands by her head, looking straight down, straight into Brawlia's eyes. They're frantic, anxious, but also hazy. She knows what's going to happen, but never had it occur with her on the bottom.

Brawlia wrings her hands on the daki's silky surface, not knowing what to do in such a submissive position. You lean in and cover her mouth with yours, your tongue goes straight for hers. Brawlia responds eagerly, finally finding something she knows how to do. Her hands tense for a moment against your sides, then clutch at them and pull, trying to bring you as close as she can.

Your lips are locked in wet, glistening embrace. Brawlia sends muffled moans into your mouth, full of need. Her hands move up your muscled back in circular motions until they find your head, and when they do, they hold you firmly. She can't think of anything but you.

And how much she needs you.

You push up off her to hear a low whine, an exasperated sound to chastise you. You raise your hands and lower them to play with her breasts, dark nipples straining against rough fabric.

"How do you walk around like this?" You ask. "Aren't you always rubbing against it?"

You decide to pinch one of Brawlia's nipples and roll your fingers over it, the other hand working her breast like batter. Your ministrations cause her to gasp sharply, then emit a low, guttural moan. She arches her back, even with you on top, and squirms beneath you.

There's something about this scene, this sensation of total control and dominance that makes you harder than you've ever been before. This rough woman, a crew member to man the Caine Cannons - no delicate task - and repair, maintain and tend to the ship, bound with slightly curvaceous muscles that run in soft waves along her abdomen and arms beneath taut skin, is completely helpless to resist you.

You tamed her.

She continues to writhe beneath you, now moaning much more openly, lewdly leaving her mouth hanging open, a single strand of saliva trailing out.

"I can't take it-" She whines.

"I don't care." You cut her off, enjoying the absolute mastery over her body.

Brawlia is at the edge of reason, bucking her hips in the air against your weight, twisting to every which side. She doesn't want you to stop, but she can't do a thing. No, she doesn't want to. She wants to be completely at your service, fully in your hands. Her own hands clutch at the silken fabric of the daki beneath her and relax, then clutch again, twisting the cloth, moving her fingers haphazardly, anything to keep sane.

You leave her breasts be for now. You back up and slide your hands down, palms flat against her beautiful tummy, then grab it firmly. The muscles give way under your thumbs, but you quickly leave this area, too. For greener pastures.

You descend to her bellybutton, then continue down to her thighs. You first massage her hips, then work further and further in, until your hands are wedging themslelves in between her inner thighs. Brawlia tries desperately to pull them apart, but you're on her knees, not letting her do as she wants. She'd like nothing better than to give you free access to her nether regions, to tempt and invite you to delve deeper into her, but you continue to slide your hands in and out along her entrance.

Brawlia brings a hand up to her mouth and starts chewing on her knuckle, then brings her other hand down to where you cruelly deny her.

You dedicate one hand to playing keepaway, grabbing Brawlia by the wrist and letting her just barely touch herself.

She's absolutely drenched.

"Pl-" She gasps mid-sentence. "Please-" She gasps again. "Don't-"

"Suuuure you want me to?" You say, gliding a hand right up against her little clit as slowly as you can.

"YeeeEEeessss~" The tone of Brawlia's voice shifts as she mewls out her request. You can feel her trembling.

You're done with the entree. Time for the main course.

You unzip your pants and pull them down ever so slightly. You're sure Brawlia won't mind your only mild state of undress. You're already hard as a diamonds - it takes a bit of effort to free your engorged member. You raise Brawlia's legs and let them rest on your shoulders. You tease your partner by sliding your dick along her lips a few times, each eliciting a drawn-out whine ending in a sigh.

Then, without warning, you plunge right in.

Brawlia tenses, even freezes in place at the sensation she so longed for - then relaxes. Noticing that you won't move just yet, she looks down at you through half-lidded eyes, almost uncomprehending why you would torture her so.

You're her Captain. You'll work her out as you like and relish in the absolute control. She belongs to you. But you're a merciful Captain, aren't you?

You begin to move. Brawlia's insides aren't smooth at all - the friction stimulates you as much as her, if not more. You continue to move, making sure to do it slowly, so you don't bring Brawlia over the edge. But you can't hold back forever. You start to move faster and faster, pumping away furiously at the end.

"Ah~ Ah~ Ah~ Ahhhnnn~"

Brawlia tightens around you, convulsing for long, unbearably hot seconds. You don't let it stop you, and keep moving despite the slurping sound of being pulled back in. Before even a minute has passed, you reach your limit, too. You burst, splattering your seed all over Brawlia's inner reaches.

File: Tiny Hippo.jpg (140 KB, 710x1969)

140 KB JPG

>>33885797
It's probably just that typing with one hand is hard.

Brawlia collapses - as much as she is able to - and goes limp. You let her legs down and watch her bask in the afterglow, so blissful that you can't help smiling.

"So warm..."

"Yeah, well, you ruined the orc daki," you say, seating yourself next to her. "Hope you're happy, you dunce."

You run your hand through Brawlia's hair - black, but medium length, and wavy in the way that allows it to be described only as wild - and she muzzles her head against your hand.

"Oh Captain, you're the best~"

You smile at her and continue to play with her mussed sex hair.

That's that for today's installment of Dakimakura Smuggler Quest, because boy, am I spent.

Here's to hoping you are, too. Let's do this again sometime.

>>33885978
Shit QM, came for han solo style daki msuggler adventures, left with a boner.
well, not leaving yet I guess.

how many minions do we have, anyway? I completely lost track about 2 posts in.

>>33885978
you better fucking run this again, because its too hilarious and entertaining to let it die here

>>33885978
My penis thanks you, OP.

>>33886003
muscle girl, co-pilot, slime

>>33886153
And the dryad?

>>33886168
fuck if i know, maybe

>>33886003
Human co-pilot, dryad navigator, slime new-girl and musclegirl alien something or other are the current count I think.

File: sex_with_pokemon.png (95 KB, 1056x197)

95 KB PNG

I'm from /d/ and I approve of this quest.

>>33886461
Oh lawd