>>33777600
Sounds silly, and interesting. Tell me more.

>>33777600
No. If you could afford to accomplish all this, you wouldn't need to do it. Or, there'd be so many better things you could do.

How many dark and shadowy corners are there?

Actually, it'd probably be pretty easy to pull off and could become a central part of their society. Expect a few Beer Hall Putschs though. The empress or, more likely, a descendent may find herself at the end of her rope.

>>33777600
Your players are fighting against an evil empire for the ancient glories of a free market!?

>>33777600
peak
sorry

>>33777657

576

She should have done a trial run with whore-houses first.

>>33777600

OH GODS, THE UBER-INN OF LEGEND.

HOW MANY HD DOES SUCH A MONSTROUS CONSTRUCT HAVE?

>>33777697
That's a good start. But we will need more if every young adventuring group is going to be coming here to get their first quests

>>33777722
Actually, this just made me realise a major flaw with this; unless the empire has perfect health care (which, considering this, it might) this inn is going to be the worlds worst hotbed for spreading disease.

Perhaps the adventurers would have to defend the mountinn against an enemy army, or something?

I mean, it's connected to EVERYWHERE in the empire, right? If the enemy controlled it, they could go anywhere!

>>33777774

What if that was the Empress' plan all along!?!

>hedgemage discovers a way to transmute spirits from water

>>33777600
>Would it work?

Not unless you have a viable source of clean drinking water or something.

Ale was produced in large quantites by almost every single person in the medieval ages because water was almost assuredly fucking filthy, polluted, or brought in through lead pipes.

Everyone as a result knew how to make Ale- Not incredibly alcoholic ale, but very watered down, sweet, and tasty ale that was essentially just boiled water with a couple of fermented goodies thrown into it.

Children knew how to make ale.
Women knew how to make ale.
Monks knew how to make ale.
Everyone knew how to make ale.

A family house hold would go through just liters of Ale a day- It was often traditional that if a house hold brewed a particularly 'large' quantity of tasty ale they would hang a bushel of wheat over their door to invite people inside to buy the excess.

>>33777764

Clerics. Cure Disease spells.

>>33777848
You'd need a whole lot of clerics- or a whole lot of customs. This honestly sounds like way more trouble than it's worth- why not just make an internet out of the magic you have (or even using the "magic gateways") and improve communication enough to be able to adequately control booze?

I had the same thought about Teriyaki joints. Each door to a Teriyaki place opens into the same store, only the furnishings are different as your mind tries to differentiate them.

But the kitchen and the people running it are all the same, man.

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This uber-Inn and its portals seems ripe for perfidy. No doubt all the bar maidens would have to be sworn members of a sacred paladin order to prevent corruption and general misuse of the house.

>>33777917
>Corruption
>Bad

>>33777945
I just want a sacred order of bar wenches. Is that so wrong?

>>33777600
You know the obnoxious crowd, a bunch of Those Guys and Girls that frequent That Bar no sensible person goes to? Every That Guy in the Empire is now there. You just made the biggest That Bar in existence, and spawned a booming speakeasy industry you get zero tax from. Good job.

>>33777600
No, illicit brewing and moonshining would spike massively because it would be alot cheaper especially if the Queen is hiring loads of wizards for 365 days a year and still aiming to get increased tax revenues from it.

>>33777843

People go to inns for the social experience though.

>>33778036
Oh, no, there are some very good sacred orders that these bar wenches could join. Mostly Babylonian.
>>33778043
>You know the obnoxious crowd, a bunch of Those Guys and Girls that frequent That Bar no sensible person goes to? Every That Guy in the Empire is now there. You just made the biggest That Bar in existence, and can now safely execute everyone inside. Good job.
Fixed.

Well, now you've just offered free range of movement across many vast distances, and thus facilitated the trafficking of illicit good, spies, and criminals throughout the land. I mean, who says you have to exit the same portal you entered?

You could move any number of agents into a specific region unnoticed, or move illicit goods easily between cities, and offer criminals an easy escape to new lands should they escape their captors.

This isn't to mention the fact that where the money flows thickest, corruption runs deepest. The Inn would soon give into corruption and be rife with unsavory types.

According to the 4e sourcebooks, linked portals cost approximately 50,000 gp to make from scratch.

Among all the other issues mentioned in this thread, it would probably be a lot cheaper to just station some tax collectors in the cities around inns, and have them raid the old-timey equivalent of a cash register.

But what happens when your party decides to burn it down?

>>33778089
Then they would just go to Jimmy's house or whatever

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>>33777600
Seems interesting. Might be a way for the Empire to try and control adventurers! By getting rid of the inns, they get rid of quest giver depots. This gives the Empire the chance to make 'official' quest depot, allowing the Empire to control the uncontrollable by offing guys who would make quests against the Empire's interests. Additionally, quest givers have to pay to put the quest out there and adventurers would pay to get the quest info, all right into the Empire's pockets.

THE BASTARDS!

She should just station golems in every known tavern as tax collectors. The number of them would depend on the size of he establishment, and occasionally one would make a run to the capital with the money.

This way, no secret stashes and less of the risk that comes with centralization.

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Imagine whole adventures in only the Inn, spies and brigainds, brawls the size of riots! The great heroes resting from turmoil or preparing for adventure once more, all across the globe.

Imagine the elven vineyards around the hills of the Inn, the rich and enchanting flavours of their cakes and drink, the bountiful serving girls and wenches of all races.

Imagine the hollow insides of the mountain, full of cellars and breweries, a whole clan of dwarves working only on beer. And what unwanted creatures could lair in the cobweb covered cracks, or tunnel into the cellars searching for plunder, or to make easy prey out of the drunks. And perhaps most importantly, the safes of the Inn, cavern banks with shareholding dragons guarding the wealth of the Empire.

And finally the Empress Eternal, in the highest VIP floor, sitting on the new beating heart of the Empire, a throne of marble overgrown with vines and grape, a staff tipped with a blooming rose and fountains of wine and the secret Church of Bacchus.

>>33777600
Something like this would put the population of the empire against their empress for a very, very long time, and it would confirm them that she is quite a bitch. She is basically giving all her country the middle finger.

My other concern is, is it really wise to locate so many warp gates, connecting so many places of the empire, in a single place? This could be that countries ruin in the future, if the inn gets captured by enemy forces. They would spread like wildfire, striking all across the country in a moment.

I dunno, i like your idea, really, but i think it would be better if somethig like that was done differently.

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>>33777600
So in order to tax a few coppers of the queen bankrupts her kingdom on magic portals, I use said portal network to invade her entire kingdom in one night, then using it to ship goods around her former empire

>>33778555
Whilst that sounds pretty great as a adventure, doesn't there also have to be somewhere for all the 'normal' people, like the farmers and villagers, to drink?

>>33778687
The normal people drink on the lower levels of the Inn. As you go up, social class and wealth stratifies. Careers are made out of smuggling people through the levels without attracting the attention of the guards.

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>>33778687
OP said there are portals in every city to the Inn.

I imagine the Inn is a giant acropolis capable of holding tens of thousands of people. It is a city in a building, a new capital city, with access to all other parts of the Empire.

Also, on the topic of invasion... How? Seriously, unless you attack from all directions, and have a superior force, the Empire can reshuffle its military from ALL across the Empire in a matter of days towards whatever point you're invading from and simply curbstomp you. You capture a city, you got a single portal. Meanwhile from all other portal soldiers are sent to the Inn. Or if the Inn is the gathering place of the Imperial Army, they can deploy all across the Empire in a moment's notice.

Without serious magic hax, invasion is utterly impractical, because the space magic shenanigans eliminates the downsides of centralization.

>>33778603
I like how you think enemy nations invading the inn would be a threat, rather than just a new source of customers.

>the entire army gets fucking wasted a minute after stepping through the door

>>33777600
I would think building an instant-transport network across the entire Empire would do much more good for the economy than burning businesses down.

I'd have just built these gates in all the towns as a means of boosting the economy directly and benefited from taxes that way. Hell, you could charge a token amount for the access to the gateway and any trader worth his salt would still prefer it to taking a few days' journey or longer to ship his wares.

You all meet in an inn.

No, I mean you ALL meet in an inn. 10,000 level 1 adventurers flow through the exit closest to the royal castle and storm the gates. The empress and her royal family is immediately slaughtered. Death by a thousand papercuts.

>>33778937
Once the inn is built, it no longer matters whether the empress is alive and controlling it.

>>33778931
That all still totally happens, but it all happens in the inn.

Honestly, I think this is a fucking great setting.
>that order of holy knights questing in search of the perfect pint
>that lich who drinks at each and every bar just to remember what it's like
>hop slaves who never see the light outside of their huge tank chamber
>all those weird elf and orc and spider-person and stuff brewers hocking their shit all over the place

>>33778118
Screw that, being able to offer traders and legit goods shipments at instant speeds would be huge.

Rolled 20

>>33777600
I roll to seduce to Empress.

>>33778931
>>33778781
>>33778555
There is something to this. The more I imagine how this would work the less this seems like something insanely impractical. An empire wide instant transportation system? The tax alone on the portal use would pay for the costs of building the system even if it cost 500 million gold coins. The displaced tavern and inn keepers wouldn't lose anything (except for the dumb ones whom got executed) really because SOMEONE has to work in the mega inn, and they can access it easily since the portals are built on their old shops.

>>33778555
Religion could explain why its an inn, the constant flow of wine and revelry would be a divine wonder for a god like Dionysus or Bacchus, likewise gods of travel and trade would probably be pleased by something as huge as this.

Seriously, aside from the executions, this is pretty much a wonder of civilization.

>>33779067
I laughed, but you're going to make this thread shit roleplay.

>>33778118
Not necesserially, the portals were said to open to the Inn, the Inn opens to all other portals. If central authority is strong in the Inn, then authority is strong at all access points. This could actually cut down on corruption.

>>33779030

It would be, but it would also be ripe for abuse.

Still, why do they have to do this for tax purposes? Why not just give the kingdom instant teleportation? Imagine one region able to be fed easily during a famine when another region is in a bumper crop, or setting up a teleportation gate in a new, faraway colony, essentially annexing a remote location to be very close to home.

You could wage war very effectively, putting a gate on a transport and eliminating the need for supply lines entirely. Find a decanter of endless water and simply hook it up to a great central water temple and suddenly the whole kingdom has fresh water at their disposal, with maybe some permanent enchantments to keep the water filtered, fresh, and free of poison or disease.

If the Empress has some personal ultimate authority control over the portals, she just won the game. Cut off portals in cities that fall to invaders, send army through all other portals, enemy surrounded.

This practically makes the empire invincible at defense unless the whole fucking world unites against it for some reason.

>>33778998
You're right - an inn large enough to serve the whole empire would be an absurdly cool setting.

And as >>33779070
says, it seems so absurdly cost-effective it's surprising it's not commonly done. Put the main Imperial military base near the inn and you can move the whole army across the Empire at a moment's notice. News, information, trade goods, and so on would all flow instantly. Hell, continental travelers will change their course to pass through the Empire instead just to take advantage of the time savings, thus bringing foreign trade through as well.

>>33779160
>Still, why do they have to do this for tax purposes?
>Why not just give the kingdom instant teleportation?

These arent mutually exclusive.

>>33779160
>Imagine one region able to be fed easily during a famine when another region is in a bumper crop
Yo this happens that region just comes to the inn.
>setting up a teleportation gate in a new, faraway colony, essentially annexing a remote location to be very close to home.
Meet up with your far-away bros at the inn.

Literally everything you're saying works, except that the nexus point in this instance is the inn.

Which is good, because honestly Tippyverse ultra-transport mage superiority settings are fucking boring.

Say this only works because of the religious bacchanalia at the inn and it's ritual magic, problem solved, now you have a rad inn which is actually a completely separate and weird setting, like if Planescape was a giant pub.

When you have The One Inn, it's only a matter of time until you get The Perfect Barfight. This fight can only end in the destruction of the Inn, leaving the empire in chaos and anarchy.

Obviously the portal network is midway through construction and the tax revenue is needed to finish the project

>>33779226
Man, I wish the doomsday cultists would piss off. Where did this crazy religion even come from? Such a downer when you're trying to have a good time.

>>33777600
It's not an inn, it's an empire-wide instantaneous transportation network THAT YOU CAN GET DRUNK IN!

ALL PRAISE THE EMPRESS, MAY SHE LIVE FOREVER!

>>33779255
THIS.

Best. Empress. Ever.

>>33779226
>When you have The One Inn, it's only a matter of time until you get The Perfect Barfight.

But the Perfect Barfight is a rowdy yet friendly event where brothers and sisters vent their anger at a difficult world by bold and valiant fisticuffs, not a mindless slaughter you filthy fucking heretic

Fucking CE subverters

>>33779226
I don't think you get A Barfight, the inn is big enough that there is always a barfight going on somewhere, it just moves around, flows this way and that, disperses into separate cells, merges together again.

It's like weather. You probably have bar patrons who can tell you from sniffing the wind that this area of the inn is going to have a moderate to intermittent barfight in the late afternoon, with possible pool cue breaking, but the weekend is expected to be clear, so bring the whole family.

>>33779234
Honestly even if there are just 4 portals in a major city, one for each direction, and one more in the Inn, I think we're done. It would be a singularity of commerce and trade.

>>33779255
Fair point, there is nothing saying you have to go out the door you came in. This is the Fantasy Airport with a huge duty-free station

>>33779313
Plus all those barfight factions...

>>33777600
How many rats would it have in the basement?

>>33777600
Murdering good people for control?
That dog won't hunt! I goba murder da impres :U for justice

>>33779339
Rats have taken over at least one basement under the command of a psychic rat king, and besides preying on drunks periodically ratmen mutants come out to spy on humans and try to steal the secrets of brewery.

>>33779313
>Oracles that divine the future from the patterns of barfights.

"Yesterday there was a friendly brawl at the Greenwine Floor, yet today a man was murdered with a broken vine bottle at the Tiefling's Tail floor... This bodes ill for friendships formed on this day, the tides of the Abyss are rising. I propose one drinks only the simplest beers and eats the simplest fairs to purify one's self."

>>33779345
The empress is less than the inn. Once the inn is built, the empress no longer matters. The empress could be anyone, or no one. There is only the inn.

Now I was wondering, where the hell do you get enough wine for all of this?

And I realized I wasn't thinking with portals. ALL THE WORLD'S WINE FLOWS TO THE IMPERIAL INN. It's probably the only inn on the planet where you can order a local vintage of literally any bit of geography that has a name.

>>33779389
And the exclusive local wine. Vineyards, miles after miles. All around the Inn.

>>33779389
In the right area or bar or sub-community of the inn anyway. And of course, people will start mixing and growing and there will be vintages unique to the inn.

Plus, I think "world's" might be thinking a bit small.

>>33777600
She and the royal guard will not survive the horde of angry dwarfs.

>>33779361
Fuck that, the war of the Five Rat Kings has been waged in the Seven Basements for years now, ever since the fall of Good King Squueeeeaaak. Recently, an entire Rat Kingdom was wiped out when what appeared to be a feast in honour of the Young Rat turned out to be a mousetrap...

>>33779424
>Angry dwarves
>Access to all the alcohol of the whole fucking planet

More like they decree she is a living saint.

>>33779424
What are they angry about? The Empress just lifts her Imperial Hand and decrees that they have a running tab at the bar. Bars.

Do you want a taste of that cheap, terrible ale your mother used to give to you at your old mine at home, when you were just a wee little dwarf? The Imperial Inn has it on tap.

>>33779488
The Imperial Inn has everything on tap. People are employed just to find out where all these fucking taps go.

>>33779466
More likely this inn causes a war that lasts the ages as the Inn outlives the Empire that made it.

I honestly see the Inn realizing the unique situation its in and, eventually at some point, declaring itself separate from the Empire. Its a central trading hub with reach all over, the Inn is the seat of power in the Empire!

>>33779515
>implying seizing control of the multiversal inn wasn't the empress' plan all along

>>33779508
Quest hook:
The players need to find a valuable wine for <purpose>. You can probably find it somewhere in the inn, but that's easier said than done.

>>33779378
Some say that the Empress, may she live forever, sometimes dresses up as one of the army of common barmaids that work at the Imperial Inn, and goes among her subjects, serving them drinks. They say that a good tip will have your taxes forgiven for a year, and a pinch of the Imperial Ass will earn you a grave beneath the Imperial Outhouses.

Really I picture playing in this setting fifty years after the inn was first built, when the inn is basically the fucking world.

The royal seal on approved beers has transformed into the royals just being the best brewers in the inn, whoever they might be.

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>Imperial Knights are clad in green plate armour half fused with grape vines. They can get drunk but are never inconvenienced or bewildered from it.

>Imperial Inquisitors hunt for conspiracies and treason, they have powers to induce or remove inebriation.

>Imperial Clerics preach of Bacchus and the wonder of Joy, propagating hedonistic pleasure and transcendent bliss in both life and the afterlife

>Imperial Bards are considered to be the best in the civilized world. And the most knowledgeable in tales and songs.

And let us not talk about the masked orgies on the highest levels of the Inn. Of the white togas and golden masks. Of the wine and incest. And the hooves of fauns and giggles of nymphs. For such things are for the privileged.

>>33779515
I think that can be avoided if you make the Inn the center of your Empire.

Your majesty, the outlay on burning inns and building so many portals would outstrip the proceeds of the wine trade in the empire for centuries to come, as well as tying up all your military and magical resources for... some time.

If I may be so bold... you wouldn't consider just... raising taxes?

>>33779614
The thing is though, eventually, everyone is in the inn. Like there might be the imperial faction but they'll be subsumed because literally everyone will be in the fucking inn. Savage barbarians, orcish hill chiefs, nomadic giants, elitist high elfs, weird hive-minded insects, everyone is there. You can get anything in the inn and it's the place where the best stuff is always happening.

Once it's built, the inn will just get bigger and crazier and less controllable. The empire won't be anything other than the empire of the inn.

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>The Thieves Guild has a new home

People work for the Inn.
Because its so 'cheap', they go to the Inn for everything.
They give all their money right back to the guys paying them.

The Inn is what Wal-Mart wants to be!

>>33779660
Oh, and all this shit will just mix. Like the cult of the high debauchees of infinite variety would never have normally had anything to do with the deathwalking plainsmen of the grim star Algol, but in the inn these guys got to talking, and drinking, and well I guess they really hit it off.

>>33779594
The Inn isn't the world, but it keeps expanding as more and more portals are established and more and more alcohol from more distant parts of the multiverse flows in.

Basically, one minute you're a thriving empire who is just about done pacifying the border provinces, and you're building nifty statues to your God-king, and then suddenly these fucking portals open everywhere and you hear a great voice, as if of a multitude, saying

WE ARE THE INN. LAY DOWN YOUR SWORDS AND SURRENDER YOUR ALCOHOL. WE WILL ADD YOUR ALE AND WINE TO OUR OWN. YOUR WINERIES AND BREWERIES WILL ADAPT TO SERVICE US. RESISTANCE IS FUTILE.

>>33779660
Eh, access can be limited. Afterall the Empire is not the world (yet). And if it is, it is in the position to form the people.

Honestly the only reason I have a gripe with this is because if you make it INCREDIBLY ULTRA MULTICULTURAL MISHMASH OF EVERYTHING OF ALL PLANES... You just lose the sublimity of it all. It just becomes Sigil 2.0.

>>33777763
Well it's theoretically infinite, but 576 have tables that get wiped down every so often

>>33779741
It doesn't have to be interplanar, but it eventually will stretch across the entire world. It kind of is like Sigil, if Sigil was just one giant bar (and no LoP).

>>33779755
>table cleaners at the inn get given a year's supply of rations and cloth rags

>>33777600
So, you've essentially built an instant mass transit system connecting the whole of the Empire, with the largest merchant hub and waystation in history at the crossroads?

This might actually be a good idea, as long as the Inn is allowed to sell things besides food, alcohol, and beds.

>>33779614
But the greatest of these are the men tasked with deciding when you've had enough, and throwing you out one of the portals if you harass the staff. They shall be known as my Imperial Bouncers, and they shall know no fear.

>>33779741
Easily done. You just need the Empress to move her entire army to the inn, and make sure that she has sole control of the portals(which will last until someone finds out how to seize control from her). Every country or kingdom with a portal to The Inn has already fallen to the Empire, even if they don't know it.

Eventually everything will pay off in the end for her.

>>33779741
>implying this becoming Sigil isn't the best its gonna do

>>33779780
>Implying that the owner of the bar isn't the LoP equivalent
>implying shutting the whole bar down and name a group responsible won't end with the group dying just the same as if they po'ed the LoP

>>33779780
Which would kind of be bad because, and I know I'll piss people off with saying it but I have to, Sigil is a shit setting.

Sigil is a giant multiplanar city where all cultures mesh and interact from all across the multiverse and... And nothing. Its white noise and pointless. The actual popular points of Sigil as a setting are the Factions and the Lady. Which you could do literally anywhere else with the same outcome, remove the whole planar business if you want to, whatever and it would lose nothing. It wastes the majority of the potential in the idea behind being the center of the multiverse, all exotica is made irrelevant, all interaction is viewed through lenses of factions and philosophies that, in their nature, are not multiplanar or exotic at all.

>>33779887
So do this better.

>>33779901
Which is why I say we shouldnt, you know, ape Sigil.

>>33779849
The only problem is maintaining discipline when you've just marched an army of teenage boys into a freaking gigantic pub with lots of exotic barmaids who might fancy the sight of a lad in uniform. And they can get drunk.

>>33779908
Not really trying to ape Sigil, Blackie. But if you have a hub of all commerce and trade, that you can get drunk in, and instantaneously travel to and from it's gonna get under its own mileage pretty quick.

>>33779574
THEN I GOBA MURBER EVERYBOBY

JUSTIIIIIIIICCCCCCCCCCE

>>33779926
Which is why there should be a defined Inn culture -and theme- which is cosmopolitan, and not make it a cultural melting pot which is omni-inclusive that would dissolve everything.

>>33779970
I just think it's lot more fun to have it be weirder and more diverse. If Bacchus is your main theme then it's going to get kind of old quick. Also /pol/ pls go.

>>33777600
Crime and/or revolt.

>>33779970
But if people try to enforce it, people will rebel against it, then there'll be guys who look at the two polars and go, 'naw man we's goin in the middle' and fill out a varied middling bit ultimately leading to the melting pot.

>>33777843
>low-alcohol
>sweet, and tasty

A-Are there recipes and instructions that still exist on how to make it?

>>33779995
Oh come on I didn't mean anything political by that. I mean that if there isnt a feel to it, its going to just wash up. The Inn, as it grows, incorporates elements of cultures and societies which are considered appropriate and pleasing, and fits it into its already established culture while maintaining integrity. Instead of just angels and demons rubbing shoulders while barbarian orcs do barbarian orc things while humans are doing their own thing and its all in the same place.

Not to mention we do not have to map the history of the Inn till eternity. There are more directions to develop this setting then just forward.

>>33780065
Political conflict can be a good story seed. It doesnt have to be an utopia.

But I'm more worried in a setting-making way then in an in-setting way.

>>33780120
Oh I don't mean in story, I meant the board guys ooc. Because fuck yous namesfags.

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>>33780162
Oh. Meh.

>>33777600
>Would it work?
Depends on what you would define as working. Depends on the details of the setting, and the execution. Basically, do you want it to work? And how? There are a multitude of viable scenarios leading from what you've described for both success and failure. That's what storytelling is about, after all - you don't get soft-locked into certain consequences until you've been telling the story for a while.

>>33778081
>illicit brewing
I read that as illithid brewing.
Thanks, now I won't be able to sleep.

>>33777600
What's the point of sleeping there if it can teleport you across the kingdom? Inns arent just taverns. Theyre supposed to be places for travelers to bed. By creating an inn that connects to points throughout the kingdom, you've simultaneously eliminated a need for inns. It would be better off as a trade hub, not a place the government can monopolize booze revenue.

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>>33777600
>In a bid to control and tax the sale of wine and ale
Stopped reading here, that evil bitch is going down.

>>33780617
It's not just a place to sleep - it's a place to gather, socially, it's a place to share news and rumors and information, it's often a place to seek work or laborers.

Think of a tavern as a general-purpose community center.

>>33780649
>posts the flag of a country that controls and taxes the sale of wine and ale

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>>33780688

>>33780675
Then the motivations for such a place would be much more grand than taxes.

>>33777600
>not licencing the inns
>not making respectable innkeepers 'licensed' inns with royal guards and other perks for giving a cut of their profits to the state

this is taxing 101. This is highly unnecessary.

>>33780709
Yep. The empress has created something amazing in spite of an impressively narrow reason for doing so. Like the king whose men put a man on the Moon itself merely to show that he was better than a foreign king. Or the king who built an information network that transformed society in a single generation whilst seeking only an attack-proof means of communicating military orders. Amazing achievements in human endeavor are often the result of small-minded individuals who don't grasp the magnificence of their own devices.

>>33779184
>Put the main Imperial military base near the inn and you can move the whole army across the Empire at a moment's notice.
Why not put the main imperial base in the inn?

At this point anything not within a 15 minute walk of a portal would no longer make economic sense to exist. City footprint would shrink and become purely resource harvesting operations and linkages for places that aren't in the portal network. Walls around warehouses and habitation for people who can't live inside the Inn Hub, while the surrounding lands are converted to farms or ranches.

Eventually the Inn would become one giant megacity, why "far" from the other shops, or farms or mines or docks. Just solid "Inn" a mile high, deep and wide.

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>>33780794
>The empress has created something amazing in spite of an impressively narrow reason for doing so.
Like inventing dimensional portal generators to be used as shower curtains?

>>33780703
I'm not OP. They weren't criticizing me or my position.

My criticism is that they're a wrongly using a national emblem, in this case the American flag and eagle representing the concept of liberty, to espouse an idea specifically at odds with the nation in question.

>>33780688 committed no fallacies. >>33780649 is using an example that doesn't work, and you are in fact much more guilty of avoiding engaging with meaningful criticism by responding with a description of the fallacy.

Again, you can fight for liberty against the application of taxes if you want. That's what at issue for me here. If that's what's at issue for you, then you don't have to engage me on that subject.

>>33780818
I disagree that it would be that extreme, any more than airports or seaports made existing anywhere else irrelevant. It's probably analogous to the dawn of railroads in the American frontier - small towns fought bitterly to be the town that had the railroad station in it, and in those towns that had a rail stop, real estate near the railroads got much more valuable. But it didn't crash the market for local businesses and neither would the inn portal. The gates would become a major focus of town, but not hte end-all-be-all.

>>33780910
i wasn't the one you were replying to.

>>33780953
Then why are you replying to me?

When I said "you" in >>33780910 I was referring to >>33780703, which was the post I was replying to.

>>33780998
I'm >>33780703
I'm not >>33780649
Anyway, it definitely is a to quoque rebuttal.

>>33780953
>i wasn't the one you were replying to.
I never understand when people make a post like this. A post that consists of just this message is useless and wrong in pretty much every situation.

>>33781034
>I'm >>33780703
That's who I said you were, so I don't see the problem. The "you" from the last paragraph of >>33780910 is hypothetical, like "you can't fight city hall".

>>33781034
> it definitely is
Yo, did you know that merely repeating yourself is not an argument? Since you are such a fan of fallacies, this would fall under "argument by repetition".

Before you refute this, think about the context of your argument so far and try to appreciate the irony.

>>33780069
Mead.

>>33781109
Fine, then explain how it isn't a tu quoque fallacy. Because the post I replied to bascally just said "no it isn't."

>>33780069
http://www.cs.cmu.edu/~pwp/tofi/medieval_english_ale.html

Can we shut the fuck up about fallacies and continue talking about The One Inn please? Nobody cares about your fucking sperging.

Topic to discuss: Would this inn spell the doom of any local business not conveniently close to the inn? For that matter, would it not just create an ever-expanding supercity of settlements around the inn or ever-growing structures in the area to accomodate more business for the travellers?

And if that were to happen, would it be a bad thing? Seems like the more business that travels through the portals, the more money the Empire makes - they could have even the most affordable fee for using the portal network, no more than a few cents, and make enough money to maintain all of it.

>>33781155
>asked to think about the context of the argument and to try to appreciate the irony
>no thanks, you do the work while I ignore the parts of my position that don't make sense

>>33781155
>explain how it isn't a tu quoque fallacy
lol dude they specifically gave you the key to that question, but you refuse to contemplate it. you're more interested in the antagonism than learning anything from it.

>>33781232
Poor OP, no one gives a flying fuck anymore.
Welcome to /tg.

>>33781255
>>33781277
see >>33781232
please discuss on-topic things for the quality of the board instead of shitposting about muh fallacies, nobody fucking caes

>>33781324
>>33781232
I hope you're enjoying your stay here, summer-fag

>>33781232
If this portal network were successful, why not create a portal to some allied kingdom far away too? It'd create a huge boom in international trade. And then they'd want their own portals to their own towns, seeing the success your empire had. It might turn into every nation, kingdom, or empire of any appreciable size having its own inn-portal-network.

And then what happens when these states start linking their portal-network-inns? For a few bucks, you might travel anywhere in the world instantly. Trade would explode. Culture would flow freely. Knowledge would be shared worldwide. Nobody would use them for offensive military purposes because every other nation or state in the portal network has a huge interest in disallowing war to break out inside the portal destinations - not to mention seizing control of a nation's portal network would mean nearly guaranteed success, meaning everyone would defend them. Hell, even if you closed off your empire's inn to other nations, you've just put yourself into a self-imposed embargo. War would be unthinkable.

We're talking about no less than the start of a fucking golden age.

>>33781232
I posted about the One Inn, you didn't reply.

>Would this inn spell the doom of any local business not conveniently close to the inn?
Not any more than regular inns do, since the portals exist in every settlement.

>would it not just create an ever-expanding supercity of settlements around the inn or ever-growing structures in the area to accommodate more business for the travelers?
No need for that to happen, but it's not impossible. I wouldn't say it's strongly indicated.

>And if that were to happen, would it be a bad thing?
"Bad thing" is a rather limited value judgement in the face of the kind economic and socio-cultural analysis we are looking at. There are plenty of ways to make it a godsend or an eventual catastrophe.

>Seems like the more business that travels through the portals, the more money the Empire makes
Not really. The act of governance is really very different from the act of running a business. Any political infrastructure that focuses on the latter is doing it at the detriment of the former and will meet with natural consequences.

>>33781296
Speak for yourself, fuckwit. Nice contributing post you've got there, by the way.

>>33781324
Spreading knowledge of fallacies does increase the quality of the board. People obviously fucking care, or they wouldn't be posting about it.

I'm going to side with >>33781402, here. As dumb as his attitude is.

>>33777600
Why would you burn down the inns?

Surely simply making them illegal would be largely sufficient? Because if you don't have the guards to enforce a law like that, you sure as hell don't have the guards to go full retard.

>>33781435
Really quite simple, mate.
People discuss what they are interested in.
If your shit does not interest them, you do not try to force them to do what you want.
Either sit down and read or leave.

>>33781531
>missing the point this badly

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Well then, I open up some hidden away speakeasies and other fun spots and sell booze for cheaper than that fancy inn.

>>33781435
It's not just replacing one inn with another. It's SO much more. It's something that would revolutionize travel and business. That's why it might have more impact than a regular inn would.

>>33781609
I'm not seeing it. Sure, the concept itself might be novel in society, but it's functionally not that different. Like people making a big fuss about "the Cloud" when it's actually just a repackaging of technologies that have been around for a long time already.

Economies of scale have their limits, and centralization comes with its own set of problems that would be handled better by dispersed methods.

I'm picturing a huge plaza - with gateway portals on all sides, evenly distributed for ease of passage. There wouldn't just be one massive inn - there might be many, many inns, in different styles or serving different specialties, staffed by the former inn owners - who might just consider it an upgrade.

Thing is, this would make storefront space VERY FUCKING VALUABLE along this plaza, because literally anyone in the empire is close at hand. I could see HUGE fucking demand for an open storefront. Because a decently-managed business in the Imperial Inn Plaza is a gold mine, it practically mints money as long as you pay your due to the Empire.

That's the kind of demand a noble or merchant might hire an adventurer or two to...take care of competition over.

>>33781689
It's not like "the Cloud" at all. It's a revolution in transportation and infrastructure. Someone else earlier mentioned trains in the old West - picture these gateways as train stations. They instantly connect the town to the rest of the country in an era where the only other way to travel was foot- or animal-powered. If it used to take days or weeks to travel from one end of the Empire to the other, and now it takes ten minutes to walk, that's a HUGE deal, that's a HUGE service the old inn would never provide. It's all about providing a stream of customers.

>>33777600
>Uses outrageously powerful magic that's INCREDIBLY useful for every kind of infrastructure and communication... To try to monopolize inns.

Your empire is clearly run by retards with some bizarre grudge towards innkeepers.

The magic you are depicting could be used to completely transform any medieval society through the ease of transport and movement, and the speed of communication or troop transport. And you're using it to get people to all go to the same pub.

This is like crafting the fucking One Ring to aid you in training circus animals.

>built atop an isolated mountain peek

What are the effects of drinking at a high altitude?

>>33781760
see
>>33780794
>>33780862
A lot of things that were landmarks in human achievement - the Internet, the space race, interdimensional portal generators - were the result of much more mundane aims.

>>33781769
Pissing contests are a hell of a lot more fun.
MAKE IT RAAAAAAAAAAAIIIIIIIIINNNNNNN!

>>33781758
>It's a revolution in transportation and infrastructure.
Not the way it's presented. The magic gateways don't seem to me new technology and the institution of the inn seems to be well established, too.

If you want us to discuss the interesting ramifications of your revolution, you need to describe what they are revolutionizing and how they are doing it.

The more interesting question here, in my opinion, is why people haven't used magical gateways before; also, what prompts the Empress and the Empire (because in most situations an Imperial monarch is not nearly so absolute as they make themselves out to be) approached this development the way they did. It's all rather peculiar, in a good way. Makes me want to know how it chanced.

>>33777764
Nurgle is pleased at how well his inn is doing!

File: Magic, bitches.gif (1.17 MB, 512x288)

1.17 MB GIF

>>33779676
>just the Thieves Guild
You're funny; you should've been a bard!

>>33781922
This. Either gateway technology is new and the whole inn concept is just window dressing (and a bad idea), or gateways existed before and the inn concept is just a bad idea all on its own.

>>33778603
>Something like this would put the population of the empire against their empress for a very, very long time, and it would confirm them that she is quite a bitch
>she goes out of her way to build the best fast transit system they could have
>cryin' bout beer

>>33777600
What a terrible decision for a governing body to make. Poor Queenie.

>>33781922
>If you want us to discuss the interesting ramifications of your revolution, you need to describe what they are revolutionizing and how they are doing it.
>>33781758
>They instantly connect the town to the rest of the country in an era where the only other way to travel was foot- or animal-powered. If it used to take days or weeks to travel from one end of the Empire to the other, and now it takes ten minutes to walk, that's a HUGE deal,

>>33778781
But it also means you can just march your millitary in all of a sudden straight to the capital

>>33777600
I dunno about working, but it'd make a pretty cool set piece for all kinds of ridiculous adventures and intrigues. Plus you could start your game with "You all meet in a tavern" and have them never leave.

>>33781781
None of those things come close to what widespread instantaneous transportation would have on a medieval society. Fuck, it would transform modern day society.
Unless this widespread portal-magic is depicted as having a big impact on societies in the world of OP's setting, it's just handwaving of the worst kind.

Some things that are made possible by the portal magic: Faster news, you could have updates and firsthand information on what's going on in your kingdom on a daily basis. War would be transformed since a smaller number of highly trained soldiers could use the portal network to intercept enemies, instead of having to garrison every city. The economy would be transformed since farming communities and cities would not need to be self-sustaining, but could specialize on a small amount of crops and crafts best suited to the region, and then transport it to market and trade it.
Fast communications and transportations are among the most monumental achievements in every society and has historically always led to huge changes and advances.

WHY would someone do this to a setting just to set up some kind of plot about monopolizing Inns?

>>33782258
And run right into their military. War comes down to a single, massive and brutal battle for control of the Inn and the portal network.

>>33781922
Either the portal technique already existed, but NOBODY bothered to use it for anything until empress blah decides she wants to start killing innkeepers and build the mother of all inns... Or it's brand new, and the people who come up with the spells, and are clearly some kind of magical geniuses, all just fail to realize it could be useful for anything else. Either option is outrageously dumb.

It's like making a setting where the rifle was invented for sport shooting but never had an impact on war. Or where people have plate armour but nobody ever used those skills to make weapons too, so people are still fighting with rocks.

>>33782168
This has been covered. The portals aren't a new technology, the only new development is making private inns illegal and possibly making portal travel free.
If the portal technology is the thing driving your revolution, forgo the inn shit and just charge for portal use. Inns will spring up around the portals as a matter of course.

The case study described in OP just doesn't make sense without more information.

>>33782399
I agree. There are ways to make it work believably, but OP clearly hasn't bothered with that.

>>33782425
> The portals aren't a new technology, the only new development is making private inns illegal and possibly making portal travel free.

The empire declines as people move to greener pastures, away from the stifling oppression on commerce represented by the empress and her attempts to monopolize innkeeping.

Portal technology already exists and has made the lower classes more mobile than they have ever been anywhere, and kingdoms with more liberal laws on businesses and less retarded management attract all the best people.

The empress is killed in a revolt by angry lower and middle class people who are sick of not being able to get a decent beer any more.

>>33782076
She could've built it without destroying the inns.

Hmm, random thought: What would instantaneous transportation (of a portal form) do in general?

What about for today rather than just a medieval society?

>>33777600
>In a bid to control and tax
>burn down every inn in the Empire
>defiant innkeepers are publicly executed along with their patrons
>control and tax
wot?
there is nothing to tax, you burned EVERY single ale house in the empire, killed every innkeeper, and killed all their patrons too.
Nobody drinks ale anymore out of fear of execution. there are no inns to tax, and even if some were rebuilt nobody sane will enter one in fear of being executed.

>>33782560
>not reading all of the post

bait/10

>>33782539
The increased mobility of populations and goods would have ridiculous impacts on immigration, trade and war. Just imagine the amount of goods being moved by ship, truck or airplane across huge distances, and how much more efficient things would be with even just one portal node in every country. Imagine the cost reductions and the lessened environmental impact, and the savings in fuel consumption and the effect of that on oil prices and so on. It's almost impossible to list every thing that would be affected.

And this is in a world that already has amazing transportation and infrastructure compared to the average medieval fantasy setting.

>>33782501
The only thing I object to is
>The empress is killed in a revolt by angry lower and middle class people who are sick of not being able to get a decent beer any more.
She's be killed by her increasingly insular and destitute nobility as they watch their coffers empty and their annual returns ever decrease from their increasingly devalued holdings.

I really want to play an honest, intelligent advisory to the Empress, trying to prevent her from embarking on this foolhardy policy. It will be hard, as many of the nobility is either as ignorant as she is about the consequences or figures they can jump ship to another nation after reaping the short-term benefits and regale their new liege with tales of "I warned her, but she wouldn't listen".

>>33782539
This mostly (>>33782618). But what comes to mind for me is the relative cost in resources of establishing the portals in the first place, ie., how does the technology work in all its detail. It's the only way to assess the opportunity cost.

>Burn down all the Inns so you can build a single Inn and establish elaborate portals to send all the people to it

Or you could sell imperial bottled water

>>33782701
>It will be hard, as many of the nobility is either as ignorant as she is about the consequences
Britain's Peasant's Revolt of 1381. Predates labor theory and modern economics. Critical labor shortages from the Black Death resulted in laborers choosing to work for whoever paid for them the most. Nobles complain of increased costs, crown passes a "maximum wage" since concept of supply and demand hasn't been invented. Peasants revolt.

>>33782986
>that short verse, repetition and coming full circle
A-Are you casting a magic spell, master wizard? P-Please, spare me!

>>33782290
>WHY would someone do this to a setting just to set up some kind of plot about monopolizing Inns?

The empress, as the title implies, is a woman. She had a shaky understanding both of what she wanted done and the consequences of such actions. That they have the potential to work out in her favor is whatev

>>33783393
I find it far more like that she is retarded due to inbreeding.
Being a woman alone is not sufficient an excuse

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>>33782701
>>33783393
>>33783422
My theory is that she wanted to infuriate me into disabusing her of her silly notions.

>>33783605
>She secretly wants me to dom her, give her the D, and put her in the kitchen
hahaha...

>>33783680
Well, not the kitchen so much as the scullery hall, but you get the idea... actually I will just let her live in the "servant's" quarters adjoining my private chambers.

>>33777600
Have you considered that you have built a massive rapid transportation system for the kingdom? Roads between cities are going to decay, and villages that depend on trade are going to dry up and blow away for lack of caravans.

>>33783753
The funny thing is that OP hasn't put any conditions on Inn use. No toll, no baggage limit, no group limit, no membership, nothing.

And here I was thinking they wanted to make it interesting.

Nah, but if everybody became reliant on the instant teleportation, what if a dragon just came out of nowhere? Just breathes fire through all the gateways, on all the peeps, and its just generally a big brouhaha.

Or something similar, like the Empress' kid decides it's time to give the throne a whirl, and frames her for trying to give the order to shut down the gates.

>>33777600
How would this interact with the World Serpent Inn, that interdimensional establishment that can only be accessed by the doors of random material plane taverns?

>>33783743
I'll let her build this inn, then force the empress to work as a servant in the tavern.

And I don't mean in a fetishy way, I mean in n actual work way.

>>33784811
>Dom: You will work... as a maid!
>Emp: Oh that makes me so horny
>Dom: No, not as a fetish, I mean actual work
>Emp: ... ... ...
>Emp: Guards! Off with his head!`

>>33777600
>Meanwhile, the Emperor has every brothel burnt down and replaced with a portal to the Imperial Brothel.

>>33785403
So the whores all get to live together.

>Tripfag leaves
>Thread collapses into autism and namecalling

Well thats new. Usually its the other way around isn't it?

>>33777600
>burns down every in in the empire

>simultaneously aggros every single party in the empire

She won't live till sunrise.

>>33787208
Learn to read.

>>33782258
This is unlikely, since a tavern door isn't going to allow massive troop movements all at once, and the portals will probably be able to be controlled in some way. It would be far easier to repel any attacks than to invade them, if the military is stationed there at all times, which they might as well be. There's no point in having them be elsewhere.

>>33783753
Travel between towns would be pointless, but keeping the roads good to the outermost towns would still benefit trade from other countries. Traders could trade with an entire empire from one central location.

Rolled 91, 75, 69, 76, 57, 52, 54, 58, 15, 83, 73, 83 = 786

>>33787179
no, this is always how it works

>Tripfag posts like a normal sane person
>Autism intensifies, autism storm over tripfag
>Tripfag leaves, driven away by autism
>Autism is all that is left

>>33778796
So it would basically be that party planet from star wars where the invaders never leave?

>>33779614
>For such things are for the privileged.

Fuckin' rich nobs, mate. Think they're better'n us just 'cause they get to get rooms with sunlight?

>>33789479
Yes!

>>33779313
It would be a sport, people getting points depending on what they did.

>>33777677
I play Sir Ron from House Paul.

I work in secret, producing a new liquor with a unique taste that can become popular, then I cute deals with dwarf and halfing companies to produce secret, underground taverns, where I can sell my brew to people wanting away from the over priced Imperial Inn. As I formulate a profit beneath the table, working together with the dwarves once more and neighboring kingdoms, we produce a moving fortress, with the latest weaponry and defenses, and it will be the roving tavern from which my brew shall tear down the financial monopoly the Empress has formed. I shall call it The Tilting Tavern.

>>33777764
The gateways serve as a sterilization lamps too, ensuring any sort of airborne or skin disease is destroyed. Hell, maybe a better spell to just cleanse the body would even work. And the gates have a sobriety spell that you CAN activate if you will.

>>33777600

>Would it work?

What with it being an idea conceived by a female, I'm gonna have to say "no".

>>33787220
No, you misunderstand.

>You all meet in a tavern...as it is suddenly ransacked and burned by the cruel soldiers of the tyrannical Empress

Times a thousand.

>>33792755
Except not all taverns are solicited with violence.

And the taverns aren't lost.

>Trying to burn down the places the worlds most powerful sociopaths favor and dwell in
Its like saying "lets go burn down all the basketball courts in detroit". Without basketball courts to hang out at, act shady, sell drugs and generally not play basketball the gangbangers will riot.

>>33792900
>Hey we want to take away your livelyhood and income
>Also we plan to destroy this place and any precious memories housed within
Do you think any inkeeper would say anything but "lets ask my patrons, the dragonslayers, bugbear brutalizers and lich liaisons"?

>>33785403

You do realize this is actually a "good" change, right?

The whores are protected from abuse and the common client has a much wider selection of women (and thus quality.)

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>>33780703

>>33793052
Lets do that.

"Guys, we are going to replace this tiny dinky inn with the biggest, the best damn inn the world has ever seen. Getting there will be easy through magical gateways, which will incidentally revolutionalise traveling and make it much easier for you to move through our empire. So basically it will be a magical FREE highway with an HUGE inn inside.

...Also the inn will serve ALL the drinks in the world. Like seriously, we are bringing all the ale and wine and other drinks in the empire to the same location. This place has like two kinds of wine and one type of ale, compare that to the thousands of possibilities the Imperial Inn will have."

>>33781135

>Mead
>sweet

The only mead I can get nowadays is this godawful stuff that's like vodka with a few drops of honey in it.

>>33787348

>A tavern door isn't going to allow massive troop movements all at once

It'll let people march in single file, which is more than sufficient for an army.

>>33793098
>monopolies lead to better employment conditions and more choices for clients
Even less so when said monopoly is the state!

>>33777600
>Would it work?

Yes, because she has wizards on her side.

>>33793108
He didn't make that fallacy. He wasn't arguing that you were 'wrong', just that you were arguing fallaciously and ignoring his point.

You feel like someone who browses TV Tropes

>>33793167
Only to be massacred by the guys waiting on the other side?

>>33793346
They're not me, I'm me. Why would you assume that?

>>33792694
>The gateways serve as a sterilization lamps too, ensuring any sort of airborne or skin disease is destroyed. Hell, maybe a better spell to just cleanse the body would even work. And the gates have a sobriety spell that you CAN activate if you will.
anon, you are missing the obvious solution
>The gateways teleport only dead matter or sapient organisms
>Person walks through gate, all his bacteria and parasites fall unto the floor where he was before.
>People asked to walk in brisk pace into gate so that it flies into cleaning recepticle

of course, they then need to have symbiotic bacteria reintroduced

>>33777640
>No. If you could afford to accomplish all this, you wouldn't need to do it. Or, there'd be so many better things you could do.

Systems of empire being logical in their expenditures is an amusing, if petulant thought.

>>33777600
Said empress would need to be careful the magical gateways don't operate under corruptible or misdirect-able means. A contingent of permanent soldiers would need to be established within the mountain peak inn to make sure no enemies of the empress could use it in their favor or as a back door in and out of situations within her boarders.

>>33777764
Not if you get one wizard with a cleaning spell and permanency.

Depenging on how faith works in the setting, we might be looking at either

Name: The Empress
Alignment: Lawful Good/Neutral?
Portfolio: Paying taxes, Drinking, Order
Domain: Law, Community, Travel, Alcohol
Plane: The Imperial Inn

or the Lady of Pain, but rules over the Imperial Inn.

>>33777600

Well, i'm not an expert on this, but...

I'd think that because the Empress is taking down all the inns(and maybe taverns)in the Empire, she'd pretty much be reduced to using factory systems just to keep the Imperial Inn stocked, which diminishes the quality, just as any good food loses that something when you begin mass production. A good alcoholic drink takes time, patience to make, and many brewers would have their own little tricks for making their brand of ale just right. These many not synergize too well, and a speakeasy, as mentioned elsewhere, wold form, not around contraband booze, but quality booze, upheld and sold by foreigners unwitting to the Imperial Inn, and the inevitable surviving free brewers, practising their craft in secret to make good, proper booze, not the overly refined/crude swill the Imperial Inn offers.

Just my sixpence, tho.

>>33797200
If customers pay more, they can get better services/products.

Maybe the Imperial Inn will use a franchise system with local control over branches so individual bartenders can offer more specific services.

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>The state centralizes an essential service
>Will it work

I hope you like standing in lines.

>>33799865
I have yet to see in the thread a plan of action that will actually lead to things succeeding that far. This plan is rotten from the first premise, and only gets worse.

>>33800826
Well this is the same Empress that commissioned a bridge to perfect suffering.

>>33801764
Sometimes I think the gods only keep her as Empress as a cautionary tale to other Sovereigns.

>>33793098
I'd rather be a working girl with a boss I know and trust than an escort for some imperial officer.

>>33799865
I think a massive central inn would be an outstanding RPG setting, that's all.

>>33777600
If you can support a system of instantaneous travel to and from any location in the world, why do you need inns in the first place?

>>33803709
To get drunk and socialize.

>>33777843
>Children knew how to make ale.
>Women knew how to make ale.
>Monks knew how to make ale.
>Everyone knew how to make ale.
www.youtube.com/watch?v=E7dYXVLPd6Y

>>33793139
make your own. or buy from starlight meadery in NC. I love their peach flavor.

>>33803574
I say make a hotel dimension. the furniture can try to kill you, the bathub is actually a healing spring and its huge, like a pond in size, and its filled with river imps.

The food is all grown on a tree and you have to fight the trees guardian to eat each day, every time you let down your guard shadow people try to strangle you with chains, the plus side is that inside the hotel dimension lie rooms that if you defeat their guardian they give you powers.

>>33799865
Imagine if bars and brothels were run the same way the NHS is...

>>33803574
Then you should have run with that asyour line of inquiry instead of asking us if it would work.

>>33778555
>a whole clan of dwarves working only on beer.
so.. your average clan of dwarves?

>>33806033
This. Because it wouldn't. And it's only fun if you give some details to work with.

>>33805593
>NHS brothels
Come on Britain.

>>33807952
Prostitution is actually legal in England.

>>33793167

Every gate leads to a long, 5-foot wide hall. At the exit of every hall, a mage with lightning bolt is stationed.

>>33808549
But brothels and pimping aren't.

Brothels being one way to keep prostitutes safe, but people don't like living/working near them.

>>33812651
House calls it is then.

>>33779173
EVERY OTHER COUNTRY DECIDES IT WANTS THE INN wat do?

Congrats /tg.
We have made a what was once a tyrannical Empress now become on par with the Lady of Pain.
She just needs some sort of glove that randomly teleports you when she touches you, and no mere kingdom or army or nation can conquer the One Inn.
All hail the Empress!

>>33817452
Oh please. Even the armchair generals in /tg/ would be able to conquer such a shakily built empire.

>>33817061
One planar inn for each country? International inn? War? Other countries have to use the empress's inn?

>>33817452
>>33818917
her empire is everywhere anon. she can deny you entry to the inn at any time, because as you know the owner has the right to deny anyone access to her inn for any reason.

>>33823469
No, it isn't. It's somewhere specific. Anywhere that can be safeguarded with magic, can be penetrated with magic. And penetrative technologies always outpace protective technologies.

Besides, her main weakness as a ruler is far more than military. Which version of her Inn are you ascribing to, so that I may lay out the plan for toppling her Empire? Please be thorough, no "but my laser cats prevent that" later on.

>>33823573
the one that says every city has a portal and if you fuck up she turns off your portal.

>>33823626
What does that have to do with me? I'm an invading force from another nation. None of my cities have her portals in them. If you don't have either imagination or logic to offer, don't play.

Did you even read OP?

>>33777600
See I like the concept, flavour-wise, but what part of this scenario works even a little bit?

>No-one reads thread and then they look like retards

>>33824130
hmm? I read the whole thread...

>>33823772
if you are invading and I turn off the portals you cannot get to me while I can move my troops wherever I want dumbass

>>33782308
One massive battle? That still could go very badly for the Imperial Inn empire. Especially if their enemy really needed one big battle to defeat the empire.

Imagine something like a Barbarian Horde! An unstoppable massive army that has a main weakness of breaking apart from infighting or having all of its units succumbing to wander lust and simply walking away from the campaign. Its short attention span meant that the last 6 invasions ended in only a few small border cities burnt as the distance to the capital proved to great for the Barbarian attention span. But then, the portals were constructed...

>>33824253
So your plan hinges on the idea that you have the only magic users in the world? Good luck with that.

>>33824372
no it hinges on the fact that only I control the portals and that any enemy that tries to come through them must enter through a small choke point

>>33824253
Either your Empire exists in the regular world, or it does not. In the first case, I march on your seat of power as normal and take it by conventional means. In the second case, you seal up a portal and I do, too (unless I destroy them outright); repeat for all portals. Empire X is added to my kingdom.

You don't have the tiniest idea what you're doing, wench.

>>33824404
Oh I see, it hinges on the idea that your magic users' magic trumps all other magic. Well then I guess you win. It would have been faster to just cast a spell called "I win forever", though.

And good luck when portals start opening that your guys didn't make.

>>33824457
That's not even the worst of it. There's a million and one ways of taking down such a power structure. We're not even touching on the most effective of them.

>>33824475
>>33824457
Seems to me that you people believe people will just allow you to take the best thing for travel since the wheel out. They wont, I mean sure you can take and jump into one or two of the portals but like was said earlier you are entering a choke point. And unless you can enter the portals through some other means (maybe you can IDK.) then you are screwed, just saying I WIN is not a viable strategy. All the empire needs is a deminsion that its the only one that knows how to get to, and in a multiverse that allows people to use magic it shouldnt be hard to find or create one of those.

>>33824559
>the people
I bet you thought they would rise and help you overthrow the French government, too?

Saying more than generic reasons for winning requires more than generic assertions that "lol I can't lose".

The kind of perfect defense so many people are alluding to would require that the portals cannot be tampered with (ie., changed, blocked or destroyed), automatically screen for anyone who might someday take action against the Empire or might give birth or rear such a person), and is the only way to enter the Empire (which begs the question of where the portals connect to in the first place since only towns in the Empire are made to have portals in them).

And then, it's just a prison on a civilization scale, and that civilization is waiting to die. Not worth having at all, much less conquering.

>>33824559
Who's taking it out? If I'm attacking because I want it and can't make it myself, I won't destroy it. That's just basic logic.

EVERYBODY! No-one will use the portals for travel or invasions, because if they can be used for that, there are already different portal networks and defences for that.

>>33777600
No-way.
The Inn was so important in medieval society. My town that I live in literally only became as populated as it did because the local inn was one of the only resting places for travellers on the road between London and Cambridge.

You take away these local hubs and PUBLICLY kill anyone who is defiant in keeping their livelihood, you will get so many fucking peasant rebellions it will be unreal.

I know for a fact that if I was your average Joe and my friend was hanged in the town square for this shit, I would burn down any local authority building in sight, and many others would join me.

>>33826857
Who needs them to invade? Just invade normally.

>>33780917
You are completely ignoring that TELEPORTATION in a magical portal is INSTANTANEOUS. Railways and airways and ports take time to get anyplace. If all it takes is a thirty minute walk to get anywhere in an entire country, that is a radical cultural shift.

>>33827437
Stop talking about invading! This is commercial! Taverns, brothels, theatres, places of entertainment!

>>33831279
But the entire premise of >>33817061 is that we want to invade... whatever, /tg/ can't hold a thought in its head long enough to think an idea through.

>commercial
Economics is actually right at the top of my list of reason's why OP's idea doesn't work. It's effectively crippling the Empire and making them unable to compete, with pretty much zero reason and for a net loss in capability.

>>33832547
This is an interesting angle. What would start to collapse first? Or rather, what is better achieved by not doing OP's plan, ie., what is its opportunity cost?

>>33812212
Imagine that. Infinite space, logistics, magical power, and mages, and you won! I'm truly impressed.

>>33799865
I'm surprised to see Farage outside /pol/. I shouldn't be I suppose, because there's britfags everywhere, and almost a third of them voted for him.

1. We know that the Empire is the only one with an instantaneous transportation network, because if it wasn't, it wouldn't be invaded so its enemies could get their hands on an instantaneous transportation network.

2. The invaders are so fucked it isn't even funny. First of all, the Empress closes any portal they get close to, forcing them to slowly make their way to the next, while at the same time, she opens new ones directly in the heart of the invader's capitol, bypassing all the defenses and taking it easily because the actual army isn't home. Congratulations, you've lost. Duration of the war: 12 hours? Felt longer.

Your wives are now Barmaids at the Imperial Inn. Your children will carry pretzels and peanuts forever.

>>33840033
>Your wives are now Barmaids at the Imperial Inn.
/tg/: from nothing to sex slaves in just under 300 posts.

>>33840033
To open a portal she needs to move magic users into the enemy capital first you know.
They don't just appear where you want them.