>>33560011
>Upgrade Special Maid Loyalty and Service
...Service, you say?

>>33560011
>>Upgrade Special Maid Outfit

>>33560011
>Upgrade Special Maid Loyalty and Service

>>33560011
Outfit or Loyalty.

A clumsy haughty maid's got that gap moe thing going for it so it's fine the way it is.

>>33560011
>Upgrade Special Maid Loyalty and Service
Maids need to be loyal and serve their mistress

>>33560011
>Upgrade Special Maid Loyalty and Service
Definitely loyalty. We worked hard for our meido, we need to make sure we keep her.

>>33560011
What kind of skills are maid skills? I mean, if there's something non-cleaning related in there I might vote for it; but we didn't make her a maid to actually clean, we did it because it was humiliating.

Alright. Loyalty and serivce! Let's see what happens when I begin to WRITE

>>33560239
Strange things, frightful things!

>>33560386
Wondrous and terrifying things!

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"Hey, Shax!" Jeez, busting through a wall is cool and all, but it leaves rubble everywhere. It is kinda hard to step around all this junk on the ground. "Wait up, Shax!" Good heck! That octopus thing is still alive. Oh, Nost took care of it. Now he's got ink all over his pants. Gross! "Shax, slow down!" Something hits you in the back of your head. It's a snow ball. You turn around and see a red-faced Blaise. "Do you know how hard it is to skip around through rubble in a freaking maid outfit!?" You put a finger on your chin. It was a cute outfit, but yeah it would probably make skipping around hard. "Anyway, I wanted to talk to you." A slightly out of breath Blaise manages to catch up with you.

"Oh? Sure! A boss always has time for her minions," You respond with your hands on your hips, "What is it?"

Blaise scratches her cheek, "I just wanted to point out that this was my, uh, first time." She looks a little embarrassed. "In a dungeon. I know I call myself an adventurer, but the truth is these things are hard to find!" She's fiddling with her skirt now, "But I still got those throne things? Do those count as dungeons?" You shake your head at her hopeful smile, and she goes crestfallen, "Oh. I wanted to say I was impressed with the way you handled it. Really top notch stuff! It was fun." You have your arms crossed, and you're nodding along."So, I was wondering if there was something I could do for you?"

What. You can't think of anything. Oh, you know! How about maid services! "Sure, just act more maid like!"

"Maid like?"

"Yeah. Call me 'Mistress'! And things like that."

"Okay... Mistress?" You nod vigorously.

"And wake me up on time with breakfast every morning."

"Sure?"

"And make sure to pick out my outfit."

"You only have, like, the one." You give her a glare. "Sorry, mistress."

>Let's keep romping around the country side! As Sitri where the other dungeons are.
>That was fun, but let's get back to camp and make sure we don't miss anything.

>>33560661
>Let's keep romping around the country side! As Sitri where the other dungeons are.

>>33560661
>"I just wanted to point out that this was my, uh, first time."
Oh my.

>That was fun, but let's get back to camp and make sure we don't miss anything.
and then if we aren't
>Let's keep romping around the country side! As Sitri where the other dungeons are.

I just don't want to come back to everything being on fire.

>>33560661
>>33560661
>>Let's keep romping around the country side! As Sitri where the other dungeons are.
This time we'll let Blaise choose. She needs dungeon experience. But we can veto as we're still boss

>>33560661
>Let's keep romping around the country side! As Sitri where the other dungeons are.

One of them has to be a throne.

>>33560661
>Let's keep romping around the country side! As Sitri where the other dungeons are.
Gotta remember our ABCs: "Always Be Cidequesting."

>>33560661
>Let's keep romping around the country side! As Sitri where the other dungeons are.

Wait, was there an overarching war & story plot that'll probably advance while we fuck around in dungoens? Nah, probably not.

>>33560661
Why do we have only one outfit?!
Lets find a town and get more clothes

>>33560773
Do we really only have one outfit? I thought we bought like a couple when we were at that place doing Dragon Lady's quest.

>>33560773
>Shax in a dress

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>>33560806

You have more than outfit! She was just being snide.

Because she's a snide girl.

I don't have a dress nor someone to commission Shax in a dress right now, though.

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>>33560819
I'm imagining something like this.

>>33560710
>Oh my.
This deserves as "I hope you liked it. I mean, this was way better than MY first time."

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>>33560860
Or maybe something more "adventure-y"

>>33560819
>>33560860
>Shax in a plain white sundress

Hnnnnnnng

>>33560884

>Belt Bra

pls don't put my fetishes on shax

Oh, right. Writing!

>>33560884
IMHO would be better without the excessive belts.

>>33560884
I don't think Shax has the, er, assets for that outfit.

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>>33560884

>>33560922
Eh, she'll grow into it, eventually.

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>>33560860
>>33560884
I'm too lazy to hunt for pics of dresses and clothes so just have this gif.

>>33560996
Will she? I don't think goblins grow that way.

>>33561003
That's cute

>>33561108
Maybe if Shax drank more milk, she would.

>>33561108
She's already a full-grown adult according to goblins, anyway. Even if they did grow that way, she obviously didn't.

>>33560884
>wear dress that covers you up to the shoulders
>leave the front exposed
>wear belts as bras
>i don't even

>covers BTOP

It covers fuck all, captcha

>>33561108
It'll happen if you just believe.

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"Anyway, I hope you liked the first time in a dungeon! My first time there were bones everywhere. A really huge one tried to crush me right to death!" You tell her about the spooky skeleton hole and how you turned the dungeon into a base and that was how your adventure really started! She seems fairly interested.

"Hmm. But you haven't done many dungeons, then?" You shrug, "We should totally do more right now, Shax! I mean, mistress." She genuinely seems excited.

"I guess I could talk to Sitri to see if there was anything else interesting around here..." You flag down Sitri as you get to the dungeon entrance, and ask her if there was anything else in the area. Blaise catches up and listens raptly. Man, adventurers are a weird breed. Do one dungeon and it is all they can think about!

Sitri eventually mentions this ruined castle of an old princess from an ancient kingdom who got killed during the uprising of the Black Horned Tribe, a pretty famous orc tribe that ruled half this continent. The orc warlord had some sort of demon consort who lived in the blasted out ruins of the castle afterwards, but there is no word of what happened to her.

"Ooh, Shax! Let's do that one!" You raise an eyebrow at her. "Err, Mistress. Can we please go there? That one sounds interesting!"

You give Sitri a long look, "I dunno. There gonna be any loot in that place? I don't want to beat up a bunch of monsters in an old stone place for nothing."

Sitri shrugs, "It's history is fairly well covered, but there hasn't been a documented expedition into it for several decades as far as I know."

>Eh, Blaise wants to go. It's fine!
>Try to find something more filled to the brim with LOOT.

>>33561132
How will she attract boys with no breasts?

Or is that what the midriff is for?

>>33561221
>what is neoteny

>>33561215
>Eh, Blaise wants to go. It's fine!

Demons? Maybe we can strike a Fun deal of sorts?

>>33560661
>"Oh? Sure! A boss always has time for her minions,"
not
>A mistress always has time for her minions/slave/maid

That's it. It was good while it lasted but I guess all good things must come an end. Farewell.

I am out.

>>33561215
>Eh, Blaise wants to go. It's fine!

>demon consort
>princess

Sounds like something interesting!

>>33561215
>Eh, Blaise wants to go. It's fine!
Why not. Sounds like fun.

>>33561235
what is neoteny?

>>33561215
>Eh, Blaise wants to go. It's fine!

>>33561215
>Eh, Blaise wants to go. It's fine!

Loot, what is it good for? Absolutely nothing!

>>33561258
Youthful features present in an adult that makes them more attractive.

>>33561244
Thats the dumbest reason I have ever heard.

>>33561244
>>33561244
Shax is too pure for your magical realm!

>>33561215
>Eh, Blaise wants to go. It's fine!

>>33561281
Oh. I'm going to admit, I was expecting something fetishy instead of a real thing.

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>>33561303
>Shax
>pure

She's a huge slut.

>>33561308
Fetishes are real. Painfully real.

>>33561215
>Eh, Blaise wants to go. It's fine!
Waaaai!

>>33561337
Well yes but I was expecting the sort of thing that would get me in trouble if I was to look it up in work. Thats if my workplace had a computer. Or existed.

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>>33561244

have I wronged you in some way

>>33561303
She literally asked to be called mistress a few sentences later, anon.

>>33560904
Hey Chief, for references sake, what exactly would those be?

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>>33561308
Eh, it's just a very well-documented fetish, basically.

Also, quick tip: Neotenic, feminine, facial features is why people find anime girls cute. Because the art style heavily exaggerates those qualities.

>>33561398
Yep. I will take away your loli-goblin-hand-puppets.

>>33561400
Well I know this may be hard to understand but you can be called a mistress without it being a sex thing.

>>33561398
How was Mazinger girls anyway?

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>>33561405

They probably wouldn't fit in the character limit.

Anyway, writing!

>>33561470
Then why do you (he? are you the same anon?) think anon wanting Shax to be called Mistress by her maid is magical realm?

>>33561527
Keep in mind that their magical realms are literally touching right now.

>>33561527
Who knows who I am? I could be the first guy, I could be another guy or I could be a third guy posing as the first/second anon/s.

>>33561569
L-lewd

>>33561116
But where is it from?

>>33561588
But who was phone?

>>33561724
Ashita no Nadja. It's pretty fun.

Be prepared for episodicness.

"Eh, sure, why not! I don't really know what the big deal about princesses are, but a spooky castle sounds fun." You're putting on a brave face. A spooky castle sounds super spooky, but you can't let the boys see you nervous. "How close is it?"

"Eh, not that far. It is further up into the mountains a bit. There is a haunted grove," Please let it be a normal grove, "There is apparently a phantom horseman, a spurned knight who protected the princess to his final breath, tortured to death in that forest, who guards it still!" That is stupid, who would guard someone who doesn't like you like that? You can't be scared of a ghost if the ghost is really, really dumb. Sitri goes on to tell a bunch of stories about this place. About half of which could certainly not be true, but Blaise listens enraptured.

You make a plan and head out immediately, Xab encouraging his newly improved kobold minions as they yip along encouragingly. Rund and Nost hang out mostly with you. "Hey boss, I don't know if I trust those things," Nost has been eying them uncomfortably. "Ain't natural."

Rund punches him in the shoulder, "Of course it ain't natural, they're part metal monsters now. Anyway, Xab's one of us, and he has them in line. Don't worry 'bout it so much."

"I just don't like the way they look at me. Like I'm their next meal."

"It's a damn kobold, Nost, even goblins can take those on."

It's good to be hanging out with the boys again. Along the way to the castle, Sitri mentions a few things that you can stop at along the way.

Interested in any of them?

>Drop by the small Shrine to Ammalthene, a goddess of Prosperity. Get a blessing!
>Swing by the Slimebucket clan of Goblins. They're surface goblins, but they can't be all that bad!
>Blaise knows the lord of some outpost over here, and wants to introduce you. This can't go wrong?

>>33562067
>>Swing by the Slimebucket clan of Goblins. They're surface goblins, but they can't be all that bad!

>>33562067
>>Blaise knows the lord of some outpost over here, and wants to introduce you. This can't go wrong?
It can go wrong!

And that's why I picked it.

Rolled 2

>>33562067
>>Swing by the Slimebucket clan of Goblins. They're surface goblins, but they can't be all that bad!

>>33562067
>Blaise knows the lord of some outpost over here, and wants to introduce you. This can't go wrong?
Might be hilarious.

>>33562067
>Blaise knows the lord of some outpost over here, and wants to introduce you. This can't go wrong?
Surface Goblins are scrubs.

>>33562067
>>Swing by the Slimebucket clan of Goblins. They're surface goblins, but they can't be all that bad!
Recruitin' time!

>>33562067
>Swing by the Slimebucket clan of Goblins. They're surface goblins, but they can't be all that bad!
Come home with more minions then we started with, thats the shax way.

>>33562067
>>Swing by the Slimebucket clan of Goblins. They're surface goblins, but they can't be all that bad!

>>33562067
>Blaise knows the lord of some outpost over here, and wants to introduce you. This can't go wrong?
Clearly has the most comedic value.

>>33562067
>Blaise knows the lord of some outpost over here, and wants to introduce you. This can't go wrong?

>>33562067
>Drop by the small Shrine to Ammalthene, a goddess of Prosperity. Get a blessing!

Poor godess Ammalthene. I'll vote for you!

>>33562067
>>Blaise knows the lord of some outpost over here, and wants to introduce you. This can't go wrong?

>>33562167
I don't know, only one vote?

Doesn't sound very prosperous to me.

>>33562067
>Swing by the Slimebucket clan of Goblins. They're surface goblins, but they can't be all that bad!
I wonder if we run into bakemono style goblins or whatever up here.

>>33562067
>Blaise knows the lord of some outpost over here, and wants to introduce you. This can't go wrong?

Either participation picked up or something suspicious is going on here.

I'm pretty sure we can go visit the one we didn't pick on the way back, anyway.

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Writing. Give me a d20!

Rolled 8, 16, 10, 14, 9, 4, 9, 1, 5, 19 = 95

>>33562321
You mean give you a nat 1, right?

Rolled 20

>>33562321
Let's not let our new slave down!

Rolled 16

>>33562321
SHAX A BEST

Rolled 19

>>33562321

>>33562345
>>33562346
>>33562347
HOLY FUCK

>>33562345
>>33562346
>>33562347
S-sugoi.
Blaise has made Shax hyper competent.

>>33562345
>>33562346
>>33562347
You know we are gonna get fucked in the oncoming fight right? I hope this makes up for that.

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>>33562339

You managed to give me one in a pile of others. I gotta veto your roll, though.

>>33562345

Well, then.

>>33562345
Well then, we best.

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>>33562345
>>33562346
>>33562347
Dat competence.

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Rolled 11

>>33562345
>>33562346
>>33562347

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>>33562380
I - I was just making sure I rolled a 1, that's all!

I didn't accidentally type a zero or nothing!

>>33562347
>>33562346
>>33562345
WHO ARE YOU PEOPLE?

>>33562447
Where have you been? Ever since Blaise showed up we've been showered in good fortune.

Shax seems incapable of failing in her presence.

Its because we are doing what Blaise wants. That is why we are competent today.

>>33562477
I'm sure there's a lewd metaphor I could make here but ,y creativity is shot

>>33562485
the master has become the slave

>>33562495
Something something, Performance Enhancement, something something.

>>33562500
The slave then revolts against the master as Shax can't be held down. Shax is a strong independent women.

>>33562500

Only an unhealthy BDSM relationship ends up that way.

>>33562500
I want to see Shax in a maid outfit now.

>>33562542
>now
Are you saying there was a time when you didn't?

>>33562538
So in your opinion a switch BDSM relationship is an unhealthy one?

>>33562561

A joke! I don't know anything about BDSM relationships. I imagine one person always getting their way wouldn't work out too well, though?

Probably not the place for this discussion, however.

>>33562583
Well there is that phenomenon where the sub isn't actually a sub, but rather a lazy person who wants someone with more initiative to basically completely take care of them and make all their decisions for them.

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>>33562609

>>33560661
>Something hits you in the back of your head. It's a snow ball.
Blaise can conjure snowballs at will.

That is so much cooler than lasers damn it.

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On the way to the creepy castle, Blaise points out that she actually knows this area. She used to vacation out here with her father. Apparently most people in Manderlay don't bother visiting out this way, because of all the monsters. There are a ton. Like a whole lot.Like the Slimebucket tribe, a rabble of weird goblins that came along after the demon consort took over the castle. Or the undead uprising from a minor lich every now and then.

Anyway, he was apparently an old friend of her dad's, and is a real 'hard ass'. Blaise says he'd probably like to meet you and keeps talking it up a whole lot. After a bit you feel like you need to just go to get her to shut up. "Alright boys, we're gonna go pay this lord a visit!" There is some cheering, "No, not to loot it up." The cheering takes a confused, uncertain tone. "We gotta go see him. For a diplomatic visit or some such." There isn't any cheering at all now. "I dunno. It'll make our lives easier." Now that is something everyone can agree on. There isn't cheering, but a general nodding and sorta back slapping kinda deal happens.

You ride up to the gated community on your dinosaur, Blaise riding behind you. A guard stares up, looks at his halberd, looks at you and shrugs. "Hey, I'm Shax." Blaise shushes you.

"Hahaha, this is Shax. She's a good goblin, probably. Can I see Lord Yrontol? It's me, the Vapulatin girl. Just dropping by for a visit!" After several conversations you find yourself in the big tower at the outpost sitting at a table with a very old man, who is built like a bear, and a group of his daughters and sons, with similarly robust builds. "It's good to see you again, Lord Yrontol." Blaise curtsies.

The gruff man laughs at her, "I like the outfit. And who is this? Looks too small for a Slimer. She got anything to do with those underworld raiders?" He squints at you. How did you even end up in this situation?

>Tell him the truth, who cares.
>Come up with a ridiculous story.
>Eat good food. Be quiet.

>>33562986
>Tell him the truth, who cares.
What's he gonna do? Kill us?

>>33562986
>Tell him the truth, who cares.

Tell him we're preparing to rebel against the dragon lady. Ask if he knows where any thrones are or about those vessels or whatever.

>>33562986
>>Tell him the truth, who cares.

Bah, he doesn't scare me

>>33562986
>Tell him the truth, who cares.
As long as the truth includes the part where we're practically just doing whatever the hell we want at this point.

>>33562986
>Come up with a ridiculous story.
The most ridiculous one.
Bonus points if it's lewd. Hand-holding lewd.

>>33562986
>Tell him the truth, who cares.
While eating all his food

>>33562986
>Tell him the truth, who cares.

What could go wrong?

I feel like lying to him would just piss him off tho

>>33562986
>Tell him the truth, who cares.

>>33562986
>Tell him the truth, who cares.
Most fun we needed a new seat of power anyway. although I think the castle might be that anyway. We need more thrones.

>>33562986
>Come up with a ridiculous story.
Because why the hell not? I don't even care if we tell the truth along with the story. In fact it is all the better if we do. So i change my vote
>Come up with a ridiculous story and include the truth in it

I just want to hear Shax tell a ridiculous story.

>>33562986
The hivemind is at it again. Were you really expecting anything else?

>>33563067
>Come up with a ridiculous story and include the truth in it
This is without a doubt the superior option.

>>33563069

I honestly don't know what to expect from you people!

>>33563067
But isn't the total truth ridiculous enough for our story like really with the ithid and all that.

>>33563093
This sounds good

>>33563110
So does that mean I just voted to tell the truth?

I am confused.

>>33563107
Well, I think the truth is more unbeliavable than anything else that Shax could think up.

>>33563093
>>Come up with a ridiculous story and include the truth in it
Yeah, all the truth, plus some extra truths.

How about we tell the truth but exaggerate things greatly. Fishing story ho.

>>33563125
Well think about it, we rode in here on a feathered T-Rex that has giant Crab arms.

>>33563145
Especially the bit where we mention that Blaise is our maid now...

>>33563159

This sounds more fun than the options.

Give me a d20! He'll practically believe you no matter what from the previous crit, but d20 to see how outlandish Shax gets.

Rolled 16

>>33563187

>>33563159
Is it possible to exaggerate things? The truth is already so over the top and our plans are beyond the pale.

Like, what are we going to say, that Shax has ALREADY become a goddess?

Rolled 4

>>33563187
Shax is best storyteller. Better than Sitri

Rolled 14

>>33563187
First time rolling

Rolled 1

>>33563187
Shax is the worst storyteller?

>>33563200
We should definitely include the part about trying to kill our own god and take over.

>>33563224
So close.

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>>33563224
Wow. We narrowly avoided that one.

Rolled 10

>>33563224
No. Bad anon. You are not accepted here and neither are your rolls.

>>33563224
Haha fuck you dice!

>>33563224
Hahahaha. I'm glad I made >>33563200 now. So close.

>>33563224
Glad I made that first roll before this

>>33563238
>>33563246
>>33563247
>>33563254
>>33563263
Oh come on! That would have been really hilarious.

>>33563289
No, Shax being a horrible storyteller is not hilarious.

Some of the others should attempt to correct our details when we are storytelling but we just shut them up and tell our story.

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>>33563214

More like first time hero! Writing.

>>33563289
No it wouldn't. if its a d20 to see how outlandish Shax gets, then the lower it is the less outlandish.

>>33563306
Sitri is a storyteller. She'd run with it.

>>33562986
Are we sure all these human interaction crits aren't Blaise's social rolls? Or is Blaise so naturally smooth when in her element that it's indistinguishable from a 20?

This is someone Blaise likes a lot so you gotta impress him. Besides, Blaise doesn't know the whole story either. Time to show off a little? "Well, you see, I am from the underworld. It's true. And I got sent up here to raid stuff, but there was like, a mandate from a god, right? These fish dudes started following me aroudn cause they saw it, too! Basically I was supposed to turn the whole surface into a flood or something? Anyway I was hopin' that would happen cause I think turtles are rad and riding one around the world woulda be cool and something I could totally do, but then I got all caught up with this dragon lady? Who was so impressed by how awesome I was at doing stuff that she told me to take over an entire continent! So I went over there and blew up an entire nation and got demigod powers in the process. That was 'cause I was lookin' for them, the whole thing was me playing that dragon lady to get stronger, 'cause I'm smarter than her, right? Anyway, I get over there and get super strong, and I come back and they are all like 'woah you gotta slow down shax all of us are scared of you' because I'm really scary so I was like 'hah you can't tell me what to do cause I'm the chief of all the goblins now!' but that was a lie, 'cause I gotta trick them all, right? But then I figured, heck, why shouldn't I be the chief?"

You take a big gulp of tea.

"Anyway. I took out the last chief and became chief and then they were all like 'oh no shax you're too powerful, so much more powerful than us so can you help us kill all the elves?' and I was like 'pff whatever, I'll only kill the elves I want' so I didn't kill Allonces' dad or mom. I did take out a bunch of elves though, including some of their gods and stuff! Anyway, they were super greatful so they told me I could go wherever I want so I was like let me go back to my camp, and I find out they had moved in! That made me mad so I told them I was done with their stupid army and left. They still send letters."

They all just keep staring at you. One of the boys is giving you a frown, some of the daughters are gossiping among each other, and Blaise is eating completely silently.

You grab a haunch of meet and start eating.

>You recapped the whole quest! Congratulations.

How are dinner parties supposed to go, anyway? No one else is talking.

>Ask Blaise how she ended up here.
>Ask the lord who his favorite child is.
>Ask the kids if they ever pretended to be a lackey to a dark wizard when monsters chase them.

>>33563827
>Ask Blaise how she ended up here.

What is her story, anyway? Tell us your adventures, Axe Girl!

>>33563827
>>Ask Blaise how she ended up here.

>>33563827
>Ask the kids if they ever pretended to be a lackey to a dark wizard when monsters chase them.
I - I don't know if I really want to pick this or not?

>>33563827
>Ask the kids if they ever pretended to be a lackey to a dark wizard when monsters chase them.
wat?

>>33563827
>>Ask the lord who his favorite child is.

This should start a nice fight! Really get the blood pumping. This party is too quiet.

>>33563827
>Ask Blaise how she ended up here.
Kind of would like to know her story.

>>33563827
>>Ask the kids if they ever pretended to be a lackey to a dark wizard when monsters chase them.

Well, it's what Shax did when she was a welp.

>>33563827
>Ask the kids if they ever pretended to be a lackey to a dark wizard when monsters chase them.
Perfectly normal childhood pastime.

>>33563868
See the OP post.

>You are Shax Gloombreaker, and you have just cleared another dungeon! You haven't actually done many, but you're getting pretty good at them now. You remember when you were very young, crawling through tunnels being chased by some new horror and barely surviving by hiding between some rocks until the animal got bored enough to leave. Sometimes you pretended you were an adventure sneaking past monsters to make you feel better. Or a lackey to some great evil wizard, luring monsters into his lair! It would be good practice, you told yourself while trying not to die.

>>33563827
>Ask Blaise how she ended up here.

>>33563827
>Ask the kids if they ever pretended to be a lackey to a dark wizard when monsters chase them.
Why do you keep tempting me, Chief?

>>33563827
>Ask the kids if they ever pretended to be a lackey to a dark wizard when monsters chase them.
Assure them that this course of action is perfectly normal, how we started out, and instill in them notions of greatness if they answer in the affirmative. Then recruit them.

>>33563827
>Compliment the cook
It pays to be nice and I want to see Shax bungle a cooking compliment through utter ignorance of "cooking."

>Ask the kids if they ever pretended to be a lackey to a dark wizard when the monsters chase them.
Be very confused that the monsters generally do not chase them, then generally complain about today's youth growing up soft.

>>33563827
>>Ask the lord who his favorite child is.
>Ask the kids if they ever pretended to be a lackey to a dark wizard when monsters chase them.
It is super fun! We got a few trolls they could play with if they want.

>>33563827
>Ask the lord who his favorite child is.

Let's start a quarrel!

Hello I am chief and I will be writing soon.

My updates have been slow today I'm so sorry don't hate me please

>>33563827
>>Ask the kids if they ever pretended to be a lackey to a dark wizard when monsters chase them.

>>33563827
>>Ask the kids if they ever pretended to be a lackey to a dark wizard when monsters chase them.
This and "who's your favorite kid?" both sound like fun, but the favorite kid question seems like something that probably wouldn't occur to a goblin, given the whole litter-based birthing and whatnot. I imagine goblins can barely keep track of their kids, let alone have favorites.

>>33564104
Favorite = the one you beat less

>>33563827
"Oh, also, Blaise here lost a bet so now she's my maid. Isn't that right, Blaise?"

>>33564138
Let's rephrase for more ambiguity.
>"Oh, also, Blaise here lost a bet so now I'm her mistress. Isn't that right, Blaise?"

>>33564104
You have one favourite you actually care about. It's the one that survives to it's second birthday.

>>33564129
Favorite = The one whose name you know

>>33564148
10/10

>>33564148
this

>>33564148

That should definetly be tacked on at the end of whatever we say.

>>33564148
Yes.

You don't mind eating in silence, but won't it be boring for everyone else if no one talks? "Did you know that Blaise wanted to kill me?"

The lord puts his mug down. "I did not."

"Yep. But she lost a bet and now I'm her mistress. That's why she's wearing the maid uniform. I make her clean stuff up for me."

He gives you a level look. Choking noises are heard from Blaise. "Ha ha ha Shax you riot what a kidder we should change the subject right now let's talk about kids or something please Shax?" You squint at her. She gives you a toothy grin and hisses "Mistress." Out from between her teeth.

Kids. You don't know much about kids. "So, uh, hi kids." The youngest one waves at you while the older ones all seem to be blushing. You wave back, "You're pretty small. Bet you can hide real good. Do you like to pretend you're a servant of a super evil wizard when you're hiding from monsters?" The kid looks pretty scared now. "Me, I told myself that to not go crazy. Why, one time I was hidin' from an actual umber hulk. Ever seen one of those?" The kid, pale faced, shakes their head, "Oh, jeez! They're huge! Bigger than your dad, with arms the size of me! They are super ugly insects, and I saw one tear a goblin right in half." You did. She was a good friend, too. "Nasty bugs. What kinda horrible things do you hide from?"

Lord Yrontol clears his throat, "Thankfully, they don't have to hide from any monsters. I have a small domain, but I keep it relatively safe. The capital refuses to enforce the land, however. A matter I bring up constantly."

"How would ya do that? This is a big wide country with all sortsa hidin' holes." You chew on a haunch of meat and speak with your mouth full, a trait the children find endearing, "This place is just filled with monsters. Adventurers don't seem to be doin' much good."

Lord Yrontol grunts his agreement. Blaise seems to want to say something.

>Let her talk.
>Keep badgering him about how lame adventurers are.

>>33564148
Absolutely

>>33564386
>Let her talk.
She's going to accept a monster busting quest, isn't she?

>>33564386
>Let her talk.

>>33564386
Tell him your plans and see if e can offer any suggestions. It will be fun when we later have to deal with whatever he sends our way.

>>33564386
>>Keep badgering him about how lame adventurers are.
Hush now Blaise.

>>33564386
>Let her talk.
Blaise a cute and loyal.

>>33564386
>Let her talk.
I have the suspicion that the monster problem might actually be related to the spooky castle.

>>33564386
>Let her talk.
We should let Blaise have the floor for now, Shax has hogged it magnificently.

>>33564386
>Keep badgering him about how lame adventurers are.

>>33564386
>>Let her talk.
Before she blows up

>>33564386
>Keep badgering him about how lame adventurers are.
Look if you gotta raiding party like me, you can tell them to do all sorts of stuff and then you can tell them to take other people's stuff to pay them

>Keep badgering him about how lame adventurers are.
Then tell him we are on an adventure to the spooky castle to fight monsters.

>>33564386
>Let her talk.
She wanted to come here so she probably has a reason.

>>33564386
>Let her talk.

Maybe we should swing by those goblins and take them out of this guy's hair. He seems nice.

>>33564386
>"Shush, Blaise. You have been on three adventures tops. I've killed kings, conquered nations, and made the Gods themselves ask for mercy. I don't raid anymore because I've run out of things to spend it on, and I have steady influx of magical items to supply my personal army. Trust me when I say adventurers get nothing done; soldiers do."

>>33564386
Shax Dreameater indeed...

>Let her talk.

>>33564551
Dont forget that time we killed a God. That guy sucked.

>>33564551
Everything impressive Shax accomplished was done on her own or against orders, anon.

>>33564551
There's casual indifference and then there's being just plain mean.

>>33564551
>made the Gods themselves ask for mercy. I didn't always grant it.

FTFY

Alrighty! Writing. Can't run for much longer today cause people want to take me out to a birthday dinner so I'll try to wrap up where this is goin pretty quick.

>>33564667
Happy Birthday Chief [!?]

Rolled 5

>>33564667
HAPPY BIRTHDAY

>>33564667
What?! We're keeping you from birthday festivities?! HAPPY BIRTHDAY CHIEF!

Thanks for the running and hope you have a great night!

>>33564667
Happy Birthday
You didn't have to run on your birthday.

>>33564667
You're running on your birthday?

God bless you Chief

>>33564701
>>33564710
>>33564727

My birthday is tomorrow but I'm also workin tomorrow. We're all watch wearing dildos so monday night works for celebration better than tuesday

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>>33564667

>>33564667
Damn acquaintances!

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>>33564784
Happy birthday to you,
You know the rest. I am too lazy to write it out.

>>33564784
> We're all watch wearing dildos

you a MGNQ fan?

>>33564784
Well happy birthday, Chief!

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>>33564667
Just got here, but happy B-day Chief.

>>33564701
>>33564710
>>33564727
>>33564763
>>33564766
>>33564793
>>33564944

Thanks! Phone calls have been distracting me. Please forgive!

>>33564996
Happy B-Day, man. Also, Shax is great at making conversation.

Well, Blaise obviously wants to say something. Might as well let her say her piece.

"Lord Yrontol, I've personally traveled with this raider myself, and I can attest that she could be a grave danger to our nation if, and only if, she actually cared to be. As far as I have observed her actions have been completely whimsical. I believe that if you could perhaps entice her to settle down and channel her efforts in a productive manner then there would be no limit to what she could accomplish." She clears her throat, hitting the point of her statement, "What I'm saying is: Shax and I are going to clear out a den of monsters near here. I fully intend on proposing to her that she make it her base and establish her own nation. Her natural relations with monsters could bring peace to this land, and her skill at all things martial." Yrontol gives a smirk, "At the very least the phsyical master of all things martial, would help her maintain this control. From what I've heard around camp, the underworld army is a disorganized mess of infighting, ready to fall apart at the first lack of momentum. With Shax's help we can turn on them, establish a powerful ally, and help bring peace to the borderlands of Manderlay at the small cost of land we don't use in the first place."

Yrontol laces his hands together. This is the first you've heard of any of this. You continue to eat your food without registering that they are even talking about you, striking up a conversation with some of the kids.

Blaise spreads her hands like she's making a case, "She's good at her job, I assure you, and her resources reach far beyond what she's even said. I think she can make an honest to goodness fair attempt at establishing, holding, and running a nation." Blaise slaps the table, "And I'd like you to help her make it."

"That's an interesting idea, indeed, Blaise. You understand I can't give an answer now, of course." He gestures at the maid.

Blaise nods, "Of course."

>>33565506
>I fully intend on proposing to her
lewd

>>33565506
Why the fuck was this girl an adventurer again?

> her skill at all things martial." Yrontol gives a smirk
lol

>>33565506
"You do realize I'd just dump my work on someone else and go back to adventuring if I founded a nation, right? It's what I did after becoming goblin chief."

>>33565506
>her skill at all things martial." Yrontol gives a smirk
Whoah, hold on a minute

Is he doubting our bigass sword?
Because it sounds like he's doubting out bigass sword.

>>33565506
We need to mention that we might be a god soon. That puts a bit of a crimp in Blaise's plan.

>>33565506
> her skill at all things martial." Yrontol gives a smirk, "At the very least the phsyical master of all things martial

Say, "I take offense to that," then keep eating.

>>33565506
Blaise, Blaise, Blaise...

Like we would care to save them from a monster army.

>>33565506
So... Shax is going to become a queen?

Okay!

>>33565650
Let's have him try to lift it

>>33565663
It's not like we have a reason not to. More people alive means more productivity means more loot for us.

>>33565665
What could possibly go wrong?

>>33565506
Alright, I decided I want to raid this place. Don't you guys? I really, really do!

>>33565663
If everyone is dead how will we make new friends.

>>33565703
Shax is introduced to the concept of taxation.

remind Blaise that we already have an elemental castle on our own plane of existence and that one has turtles. Also take offence to his smirk and challenge him to a duel the stakes are if we win he recognizes our skill and whatever he wants except rex.

>>33565717
It's just another step on the road to godhood!

Alright! I'm going to dinner. I dunno how long that will take. When I get back I'll do a couple more updates and then end it.

Consider this an open suggestion box for what to tell this guy and Blaise!

>>33565650
it's a bdsm joke

>>33565742
shax should propose to blaise, i have no reason for this vote

>>33565743
Martial, not marital

>>33565721
But everyone will not be dead. It's not like we go around befriending peasants. There will be all kinds of people (things?) living (some not strictly libing but you get what I mean) all around regardless of the outcome of this war.

>>33565742
Tell them that you're going to be the best ruler that you can be.

>>33565742
Definitely tell them >>33565633

>>33565778
Supporting it's time to be the best.

>>33565774
He's probably assuming Shax spanks Blaise. That's martial, right?

>>33565788
Agreed.

Hell, we should just make that our thing.

Travel the world taking over and founding nations and then just leaving once we get bored with the responsibility.

Can we agree that we should take offense at his doubting our martial skill. Because we really would. We the boss and a demigod our skills are our pride and he just wounded our pride. I still think we should have ourselves a duel with someone to show him our skills.

>>33565742
Tell her that's cool and all but we kind of got plans to ascend to godhood and kill the hungerer and that might get in the way of that.

>>33564386
>let's talk about kids or something please Shax?
S-so forward!

Blaise, I do not think Shax is ready to take this relationship in such a serious direction just yet.

>>33565742
Tell them if we ever wanted a castle and a throne, we already have better than they could ever offer us.

Also tell them we will just do whatever we like. We are not with the monster army only because they kept wanting us to do things. If we wanted to do things for other people we would just stay with them.

>>33565839
I really don't think Shax give enough of a fuck to bother.

>>33565839
Weren't we pretending the conversation wasn't about us? It's okay if we don't notice.

Though a duel would be fun.

>>33565863
I wonder what Shax and Blasie's kids will look like...

>>33565839
We barely noticed, and it could have been innuendo/in-joke/whatever.

>>33565788
>>33565858
>>33565858
I think this covers the general feeling.

I kind of want to at least slightly make an effort to be less ambiguously evil for Blaise's sake but she needs a better approach to get us to agree to it.

>>33565914
She said she was going to make her pitch to Shax later. This was her pitch to Yrontal.

>>33565914
Meant to link >>33565865 too. Not quote that one post twice.

>>33565839
We should, at the very least, get him to hold our sword
Even if its just a passing thing as we head out the door.

Also some combination of >>33565633 and >>33565858

Because like, sure we aren't really going to turn down being a queen. I don't think we are one of those yet, but its kind of unimpressive next to godhood. You'll have to forgive us if we don't act excited

Why are we going to annoyingly and boringly good form adorably evil?

>>33565984
Because Blaise is a bad influence on Shax

>>33565984
We were trending towards good before Blaise showed up. Now she's kinda shoving us and we don't have the heart to tell her no.

>>33565914
Shax is pretty chaotic neutral as it is.

>>33565984
We just held up a circus a few days ago man, come on.

>>33565999
Not really. Players are just bad.

I blame Chief for giving hints and chances at it, given the chance to be goody two shoes, /tg/ generally just forgets any characterization or fun and just goes for it.

>>33566009

You're absolutely free to tell her no. I'm not gonna try to figure out where Shax is going to be in five threads, so don't think I even have any plans. I just honestly believe Blaise thinks this is the best plan for Shax.

Anyway, heading out! Please be civil you guys!

>>33565984
What are you even talking about.

First of all, Shax is adorable, regardless of alignment. Second, the general vibe I'm getting is, "Shax does what she wants". Finally, she's always been good-ish, or at least better than the majority of "Good-aligned" adventurers.

>>33566054
We might be free to tell her no, but... We aren't going to, because she's kind of like a puppy and I don't want her to be sad.

So let's establish Shax Kingdom and then go back to doing sidequests and tell everyone to bugger off while we do them.

>>33566054
I think Blaise's plan isn't very good. Goblins won't be happy above ground and will eventually raid the surrounding area. Shax can't keep them in line forever.

A better idea is to focus on controlling the plane of greed.

>>33566060
Well apart from all those towns we raided. aaand those prisoners we personally executed.

>>33566090
Which, given Shax's nature, is probably a really good fit.

>>33566102
Did we execute any prisoners who didn't want to kill us?

I thought our end goal was to become a god and let people do whatever they wanna do. If Blaise wants to use our resources to establish a new nation, why not let her?

>>33566102
That was just a job! It's not like Shax loves slaughtering innocents. She even apologized to that prisoner she executed.

>>33566125
Because a maid's place is beside their mistress and we sure as hell not sitting on a boring chair in boring country for eternity. Other than that, she could establish all the nations she wants.

>>33566102
Are you implying those aren't things good-aligned adventurers do?

Also, it's been stated in quest Shax sees that as her job, and she's lately got sick of doing said job. She's never been inherently cruel, quite the opposite in fact. No one's jumping at Blaise's plan anyway. It's all mostly "that's nice but.."

>>33566090
I don't mind us becoming a queen or whatever, but we definitely aren't going to stick around and do politics shit.

I figure the best case scenarioassuming it actually happens and doesn't turn out to be a bait and switch or something is that we're basically Queen in name only 90% of the time, someone else does the day to day running of everything and we just get free food in all the restaurants.
Then if anything ever threatens it we show up and smack them down, assuming we can take the time out of our busy schedule of dominating gods or whatever

Our national animal can be a turtle.

We definitely aren't going to become "good" though.
Shax is Shax aligned.

>>33566228
We'll probably end up taking over the human kingdom with our new nation.

>>33566117
>>33566132
>>33566198
There is still the whole "working for a god who wants to flood the world" thing.

>>33566228
I like this idea.

Shax's current plans:

1. Become Goddess
2. Kill Hungerer, take over plane of Avarice
3. Flood Earth, replace land with island turtles.

If founding a nation doesn't interfere with that, I guess we can do it.

>>33566264
She's a god, she won't mind waiting another few thousand years

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>>33566291
Don't forget to give people gills and make cute sea goblins.

>>33566264
Working?

The whole point of a Blade is that they don't help willingly, but incidentally. Everyone wants to preserve land dwellers with giant turtles anyway.

>>33566291
>Replace land with turtles who each have an affinity for a different element
>Ancient wise turtles pass on knowledge of the elements to the human remnants
>Shax eventually sends one of the light plane stewards to merge with a human and kill this spirit of darkness that thought he could fuck things up.

You've got one guess.

>>33566228
>we're basically Queen in name only 90% of the time, someone else does the day to day running of everything and we just get free food in all the restaurants
So basically Blaise, supposedly the queen's maid, is the real queen and Shax is her consort

>>33566318
Not really necessary with the island turtles but sure.

>>33566335
Imagine being Shax's mortal blade.

That'd be hilarious.

>>33566353
Sounds great. Blaise was raised to be a noble and Shax wasn't. That's simply good division of labor.

>>33566366
Speaking of that what are we actually going to be a god of?

>>33566366
Not Mortal Blade.

Avatar

>>33566353
So whats wrong with that she is still our servant and we are a god with a plane of existence to rule. She rules a small kingdom in our name everyone is happy.

>>33566383
Greed, goblins, and being cute as a button.

>>33566383
Turtles.

>>33566383
Fun

>>33566383
Whimsy and independence?

>>33566403
>>33566405
>>33566407
I was thinking oversized weapons or something

>>33565984
Hey, we only said about establishing a nation and possibly disbanding the old army. Nothing about reconquering the Underworld and forming a new and stronger one afterwards.

>>33566383
Well, Hungerer's plane is greed and such.

Shax covers that pretty well with her do whatever she feels like attitude. Like that one Rhino Greeed from OOO.

raiding and Independence?

>>33566424
> Nothing about reconquering the Underworld and forming a new and stronger one afterwards.

See this is more like it.

We betray the Dragon Lady, then betray the humans and conquer the surface.

>>33566437
I don't want to betray anyone ;_;

I vote we eat the Hungerer like he does to goblins.

>>33566437
>>33566461
Yeah the whole scheming and politics aren't in Shax's nature.

>>33566461
But betrayal is fun. Everyone loves a good betrayal. Makes a good story for the kids when you're explaining why your empire rules the world.

>>33566383
Latitude

>>33566473
Nah, we force the Hungerer to reincarnate as a goblin and our mortal blade.

Then we give him silly orders and make him go on a fun filled adventure!

>>33566437
Shax doesn't even want to bother with ruling a nation or a goblin tribe. What the fuck would we conquer the world for.

Control your edge boner.

>>33566437
>>33566424
Why even bother?

>>33566511
Exactly we could take over the world. But she'd forget about it like a week later and wander off to do something else.

>>33566437
Then we betray the Sea Mom and kill all turtles

>>33566545
That's just not okay. Like don't even joke about that shit.

>>33566541
You just sound like you want to be evil just because. That's boring.

>>33566545
DON'T YOU DARE KILL OUR TURTLES.

>>33566461
Me neither. No to betrayal.

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>>33566545
Whoa, man. There was a line and you crossed it.

>>33566565
It's not about evil Shax is really chaotic neutral. What I was trying to say is that if Shax took over the world she wouldn't bother ruling it anyway so whats the point.

>>33566545
>Kill all turtles
>>>/out/

>>33566596
But if we take over the world, we can find the thrones we need faster.

>>33566609
Well that's kind of my point. She'd just wander off to go find something or do some random shit. She's really not a good leader. The reason our group follows us is because they find us interesting or because we're pretty much a friend remember.

>>33566596
Oh, sorry, I thought I was still in a back and forth with the guy who's been complaining about not being evil enough this whole time.

>>33566167
A maid's job is to clean up after her Misstress too. Therefore, if we conquer the world, she must clean it up behind us!

>>33566659
>Blaise ends up as Empress of the World
>Shax is the chief goddess

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>>33566596
Its looks nice on a resume.

Plus those guys said goblins look like dorks.

>>33566683
What?

They look like dorks!

but really, how do we get more Sea Mom goodies? We've been stuck at do something for Sea Mom level forever.

It's almost like Shax isn't furtherin her goals anymore.

>>33566683
Well goblins are pretty dorky.

>>33566677
Can they be married?
Can Blaise be our immortal god-empress waifu?
If so, please take all of my yes.

>>33566695
I;m kind of at a loss of what exactly we could do to further her goals, myself.