You are Shax Gloombreaker, eternal seeker of what is hidden inside of ancient temples! Your best goat girl, Sitri, had apparently done some casual research on the ancient cults of a mountainous civilization of crafters, and narrowed down this location as one of their old temples hinted at in the various hymns they sang while working. The lyrics of which was given to Sitri by her patron goddess, the Goddess of Song! Wow! What a backstory!You have:>49/56 BtB exp>46/56 MSiF exp>33/56 CyRCTHaM exp>Shax's Stuff! So you can keep track: http://pastebin.com/U3hKZfAd>Shax Company!: http://pastebin.com/mZgVD5yH>Shax Ability Tree Finally Updated: http://pastebin.com/aBfqv1vP>I'm the boss! Points: 0>Pearls: 7You've got Whoop, Sitri, Xab and his Cult, Nost, Rund, and Blaise with you. A solid crew of goblins and kobold cannon fodder! Your dinosaur is parked outside. Also, Xab has picked up some human followers. What a weird guy. Anyway, you just found the Temple of Barilitine hidden deep in a crack in a valley in a foothill in the middle of godforsaken nowhere. Adventuring has some downsides.A large chamber sits in front of you, a statue of what you assume Barilitine, a six armed woman with long bronze hair and glittering jade eyes who has a tool in each hand stands there imposingly. There is a large double door in the middle of the room, and two side chambers to the left and right. You have not searched this room yet.>Send Xab and his cult ahead of your main group while you explore thoroughly.>Run on ahead with a select few while you leave the doldrums of sweeping the room to the boys.>it is a scooby doo house, everyone stick together
>>33472864>it is a scooby doo house, everyone stick togetherNo splitting the party.
>>33472864>stick togetherLook out for traps!
>>33472864GEKIGA-IN!It's a scooby doo house, which means that it's our job to split everyone up so something interesting happens.>Run on ahead with a select few while you leave the doldrums of sweeping the room to the boys.
>>33472864>Run on ahead with a select few while you leave the doldrums of sweeping the room to the boys.We should take Sitri, Blaise, and Whoop with us.
>>33472864>it is a scooby doo house, everyone stick togetherUse these exact words.
>>33472864>Run on ahead with a select few while you leave the doldrums of sweeping the room to the boys.
>>33472864>it is a scooby doo house, everyone stick together
>>33472937>Hogging anyone with plot-armorIt's like you want the others to get killed!
>>33472966Nonsense, the rest of the group will be fine. After all, we'll roll a nat 20 on execution of this plan and nothing will go awry at all, as always.
>>33472898>>33472915>>33472950>>33472954We're the leader, so we're Fred. It's our job to tell everyone to split up so that Allonces or whoever is Shaggy in this situation can complain about it.
>>33472999Allonces is Scooby
>>33472999Allonces isn't in our partyWho are we going to blame when shit goes wrong?
>>33472999Wait, does this mean we have to find a Daphne to make out with while everyone else does actual work?
>>33473041>giving allonces in dog ears and a collarerotic>giving her allonces snacks to solve puzzleserotic in a different wayGive me a d20 to see what horrible traps you trigger/what stuff you find while searching!
Rolled 16>>33473100I hope I trigger a Professor Layton puzzle
Rolled 2>>33473089Silly anon, we have one. It's Sitri.>>33473100
>>33473041Allonces is shaggy.She's a hippy (All elves are hippies)She probably does drugs.She's a total bitch (In the coward sort of way)Has a foul-smelling creature that she talks to as a pet/life partner.
>>33473127hahaha I don't know if I could come up with one off the cuff
Rolled 7>>33473162Rule of thumb: MATCHSTICKS
I don't know why I just did this, but here, have the result of a million years in photoshop.
This first room has to be important since it is a big circular chamber! You decide to search it thoroughly with the whole crew, tellin' everyone that only a bunch of dumb kids would split up in a suspicious place like this. Everyone laughed nervously, because they wanted to split up to get all the loot for themselves. This kinda stuff is obvious to know as the boss."Hey, Shax, I found somethin' weird!" Xab calls out, but you aren't sure if you should check it out because the last six times he said he found something weird on the road it was just rocks shaped sort of like various animals. You kept the one that looked like a turtle, Blaise got the one that looked like a cat, and Sitri took the one that looked like a bull. But it was hard to care after that...Under the desk holding a large dusty book is a weird drawing. There are a series of workers standing in a row, but one is missing arms. It looks like you can attach a arms to one of the workers. There is a large worker with one arm, a large worker with two arms, a small guy with three arms, a small guy with one arm, a large guy with one arm, a small guy with no arms, a large guy with one arm, a small guy with two arms, a large guy with one arm, and a small guy with three arms.There is a set of three arms, a set of two arms, and a pice of metal that counts as one arm available. Blaise crawls under the desk with you, and takes a look at it, scratching her chin. She stands back up and looks at something then crawls back down. "Ah, I see. I've got it, Shax. You'd have to be some sort of child to not get a puzzle like this!" She gives a cocky laugh, covering her mouth with the back of her hand and giving you a sideways glance with half lidded eyes.Oh man, you totally don't know the answer! Each minute it takes you to figure out, the more embarrassing it will get.>Earn Maid Points by solving puzzles quickly!>>Solution?>>Check the book Blaise looked at.>>Ask for a hint.
>>33473554>Check the book Blaise looked at.
>>33473554>Other"Dammit woman, I'm a strategist not a philosopher!"
>>33473554Solve it quickly, eh?>Make Blaise solve it, she's a maid so she's supposed to do whatever we tell her.
Not even a guess? That one anon who wanted a layton puzzle musta been halfheartedly suggesting it!No more puzzles after this then, I guess. I'll come up with other ways to earn Maid Points.>>33473595It is a diary, the last entry was at the first of some year and it was discussing finding a fascinating item that the leader of an opposing sect wanted. The priest who wrote the book secreted it away, apparently!
>>33473554If she back sasses us, say, "I grew up learning how to run, hide, and kill, doing whatever I had to to survive. Not all of us could grow up in a clean, cushy family estate with plenty of free time to learn how to solve arbitrary puzzles."
>>33473818Either that or he hasn't caught the update yet.
>>33473818shit, i was playing a game, didn't notice you actually put up a layton puzzleokay gimme a sec
Put 3 arms on the one with no arms.That's all I got.
>>33473818I had to read it carefully and draw it out first chief sorry!I'm guessing we can only attach one of those sets of arms to one worker right?
>>33473866You reach for the three armed piece, and Blaise snickers at you. Ignoring her, you snap it into place on the worker with no arms.Nothing happens!Man, you're about to get fed up. Another five minutes or so and you're just gonna yell at Blaise to do it herself!
>>33473818I had to draw it out first after reading it chief sorry!We're only allowed to attach one set, not all of them right ?
>>33473868>>33473946Yep, can only attach one set to the no arm guy.
>>33473940Its the one arm peice
The correct answer is to put the one arm on the man, and pocket the remaining five arms. It is correct because it's the scenario in which you end up keeping the most arms.Also because it's actually the right answer.Because it's a calendar puzzle.
>>33473989>>33474006Making a pretty upset face, you think about it for a moment before snapping the one arm piece into place. The diary entry was the first of a year right? So the date was 1/1. The large dudes represent months, the small dudes represent days. Even if the calendar doesn't necessarily follow what you're used to, this makes sense! That's gotta be it! ...Also you get to keep the most arms this way.After popping the arm in, a small panel slides away, revealing a sparkling wand. It is super pretty so you pocket it as fast as possible."Hmph, so you were able to solve it?" Blaise says, slightly impressed, "I thought you'd come crying to me the moment you messed up. Maybe you aren't just a dumb brute, after all!" Hah! You showed her who the boss is and why it is you!>You've earned six Maid Points! Wow! These can surely be used for something at the end of the dungeon! But what??Whoop sees you messing around with the wand, "May this one see it, honored one?" Normally you wouldn't fork over any loot, but Whoop is your boy so you don't mind, "Interesting. This appears to be a rod of command of some kind. I'm not sure what it commands. You should get a reaction from it if you are near enough to the object, however." He promptly hands it back. What a nice guy!What direction do you head in?>Double Doors>Left chamber>Right chamber>Alright gang, split up!
>>33474079Split the series up into groups of Tall Men/Short Men. The tall men represent the Month, and the short men represent the Day.
>>33474117>>Double DoorsDouble doors means double the lootFlawless logic
>>33474117Split up! Twice the loot !
Rolled 67>>33474117>Left chamber
>>33474117Slip the rod through the double doors.
>>33474117>>Alright gang, split up!This is only getting my vote because >>33473396was posted.
>>33474117Because we got the puzzle right!>right chamber
>>33474117>Alright gang, split up!
>>33474117>Dialogue"I became clever so that I could figure out where to not starve or get stabbed. I didn't learn how to slip and talk my way out of danger just to solve some godawfully arbitrary puzzles. It's insulting, it is.
>>33474208;_;I'm sorry anon I will be less boring in the futureYou're splitting up, and you are heading Left! Do you wanna take anyone with you in particular real fast before I start writing?
>>33474318Our maid, of course.
>>33474318Xab (Maid default follows us, right?)
>>33474345>>33474349>>33474399Alright.Give me a d20 check for reasons!
Rolled 10>>33474318If this doesn't end with a silly chase scene through a hall of doors while http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iFUDFw6z37o plays, I'm going to be super disappointed in you.>>33474409k
Rolled 12>>33474409Nothing bad will happen.
Rolled 7>>33474409I feel like the mask of being huge should have been named "Mothers Mask" as a joke on fathers mask
>>33474433Good enough for me. Writing.
>>33474117>>You've earned six Maid Points! Wow! These can surely be used for something at the end of the dungeon! But what??Is it sexual favors?I hope it's sexual favors.
Rolled 19>>33474516L-lewd!You can't get sexual favors from girls just by doing puzzles!right?
>>33474516But Blaise is as pure as Allonces is lewd
Depending on how sweet this temple is, why not drop a pearl and make it our base?
>>33474516It's not favors if you exchange something for them, duh!
>>33474672This is Scooby-Doo! You don't return to an old environment unless it's stock footage reuse or a sequel series.
>>33474516>at the end of the dungeon!So...loot dibs?
>>33474672I considered this also. Obscure temples nobody can find are great bases!
Hmm, if each room is going to take this long, there is no telling how long this temple will take! You better pick up the pace. "Alright, everyone, we're gonna split up! Blaise you and Xab are with me!" The dark elf glares at you a bit when you make the announcement, but you decided you won't get scared by her! She is only a little creepy. Blaise nods as if it was just a matter of course. Whoop and Sitri volunteer to take the doulbe doors, with a couple of kobold cohorts. Rund and Nost take the right chamber with some kobolds as well. The three ragged looking humans keep following Xab and you, and you have about three kobolds with you.When you place a hand on the door to the left chamber, you hear a weird giggle and turn to face the dark elf, who is looking at you with a crazy grin. What is her deal? You slowly open the door, and a dart flies past it. Oh. She musta known it was trapped somehow. You'll have to keep that in mind!The next room has a pool of clear water running down a channel in the middle. Along the walls are various multi-armed workers. You can take a better look at them. They look less humanoid and more like weird animal headed insects. This musta been a strange place indeed! As you take a step into the chabmer, another trap fires off.Oh, great. It is gonna be one of THOSE places. "Alright! You kobolds go first." You place hands on your hips. Isn't this what kobolds are for? They actually sniff out the traps and clear the room before scampering back to Xab who pats them on the head. The dark elf looks disappointed and checks around the room, returning with her shoulders slumped after finding no traps. You'd say poor girl except she's a jerk.>Drink the water!>Throw Blaise into the water.>Tell Xab to drink the water.>Tell Xab to tell the kobolds to drink the water.>Search thoroughly and head to the next room.
>>33474117Your my boy Whoop!
>>33474866>>Tell Xab to tell the kobolds to drink the water.
>>33474866>Tell Xab to tell the kobolds to drink the water.
>>33474866Drink the water! Better be the fountain of cuteness!
>>33474866Throw the creepy elf into the water.The elf is the stalker, right?Maybe order the guy she's stalking to dry her off later.
>>33474866>>Throw Blaise into the water.And dive in after her!
>>33474866>Throw Blaise into the water.As terrible an idea as this is the prospect is too amusing.
>>33474866>Tell Xab to tell the kobolds to drink the water.That'll show her!
>>33474866>Tell Xab to tell the kobolds to drink the water
>>33474866>>Throw Blaise into the water.Then a God will appear and ask if we lost this Golden Blaise or Silver Blaise. And then we'll get 3 Blaises. Flawless plan.
>>33474866Make dem 'bolds drink da watah!
>>33474866>Tell Xab to tell the kobolds to drink the water.I wont be expecting multi limbed animal faced kobalds, no sir.
I wonder if this has to do with those animal idols we picked up earlier.
>>33475388I want to see cat-Blaise so badly now.
>>33474866Xab likes traps.Oh my god how did I miss this.Oh my fucking god, how did I not get this.I am turning in my frilly panties.
Water, eh? This is a dangerous trapped temple filled with puzzles and weird drawings. But it is definitely unusually placed. It's gotta be some kinda unique water. You've been staring at it for a bit when Blaise walks up behind you, "Boo." She whispers into your ear.Ahhh! You practically jump out of your skin at the response and almost fall in. "Jeez, what is the idea you mean old maid?" You rub the back of your neck where hair is standing on end."Old?" Blaise gives you a cool look and places her hands on her hips. "I'm young and elligible, and don't you forget it." You crack your knuckles. You're pretty tempted to just toss her into the water here and now. But you don't.>You manage to not bodily throw Blaise into a pool of unknown water! You earn two Maid Points!Instead, you bark at Xab, "Hey! I wanna know what is up with that water. I don't know how to look, though, so let's have those kobolds drink some up, alright?"Blaise holds up two fingers, "At least two, we have to see if the effects are consistent." The tiny lizards look at each other nervously.Xab spreads his arms, "Pretty nonchalant with the lives of others for someone who wants to be a paladin," The dark elf giggles, "Still, that isn't the worst idea. Grikkle-bik! Snirkleburk! Go and taste of the water." He gestures at the pool. Both the kobolds skip over and take a quick drink.One shudders, yipping while his arms swell in size, turning into gorilla arms. The other growls and vibrates, before exploding. Well. That is certainly something. After a few moments the gorilla arms turn back to normal. You order Blaise to clean up the mess. Blaise tells you that she will do no such thing.>Let's bottle some of that wacky water! Then search and move on.>Let's just leave that stuff alone. Take a look about and keep moving.
>>33475574>>Let's bottle some of that wacky water! Then search and move on.
>>33475574>Let's bottle some of that wacky water! Then search and move on.
>>33475574>>Let's bottle some of that wacky water! Then search and move on.I dunno. Let witch boy have it.
>>33475574>Let's bottle some of that wacky water! Then search and move on.Give it to Allonces later
>>33475574Bottle some.I really want to see cat girl Shax, Blaise, and Allonces.
>>33475644We could let whoop look at it.
>>33475664What if it does something horrible like give her a dick?
>>33475693>horribleDo you not realize you are on the same board as this guy >>33475566 ?
>>33475686Shax would be a turtle though. Like she always wanted.
>>33475720Shax is very cat-like, though
All this Allonces FetishizationWriting.
>>33475574Gather the remains of the exploded kobold, for reasons.
>>33475693Witch boy can give her an antidote if she develops some horrible side effectBut it'll remind Shax's pet who's the boss
>>33475770Allonces is a grown elf slut. Better her than Shax or Blaise, right?
>>33475770I want to cuddle with Allonces and make her loved
Actually give me a d20 check for searchin times.
>>33475793Yeah, we're backsliding on the whole looting thing.
>>33475784Shes like 7 in elf years. She aint full grown yo.
Rolled 13>>33475793ALLONCES GUIDE MY DICE!
Rolled 5>>33475793Loot an Allonces all the way from camp.
Rolled 7>>33475793Searchan' for loot.
Rolled 17>>33475782the antidote will also give her a dick
Rolled 16Blaise isn't granting us her luck anymore. This must be what the maid points are for.
>>33475829Good enough for me!Writing.
>>33475877We... found thighs? Neat!
>>33475877>dat pichnnnnnnngh.. Everytiem, chief
"Alright. That seems like some weird junk, so we're gonna take it with us! So, go bottle it up." The boys all look at each other then at the pool. No one is moving. "No, seriously. Bottle some up." You tap your foot impatiently.Xab kicks one of the humans in the shins, "You heard the lady!" Shuffling off to the channel, the human bottles up several containers of the wacky water, and places it on the ground next to him like each one could explode at any moment. After the fifth container, the eyes on the workers along the wall light up. Uh, oh!You hear a latch fall across each door and a rumbling sounds from above. A weird snake centipede thing droops down from the roof, with one eye and a clicking mandible. It shrieks in some awful language at the human who just sorta trembles and crawls backwards in terror. It lunges at the human, and attaches to his head, causing the poor follower to scream horribly for a few moments before going completely limp.You walk over and cut the thing in half before it gets done doing whatever the hell it was doing to that man. Blaise looks pretty pale, and Xab quickly clams his followers down. You slap your hands together like you're getting dirt off them from a hard day's work and turn around. "Alright! Let's get back to searching this room!" They just sorta stare at you. Blaise raises a shaky hand to the door."But, we're trapped..." You walk over and cut the door in half casually, "Any other observations?" They all shake their heads. "Good. Now let's check this room out some more!" You find some gold, a severed snake centipede robot, some jewelry that Xab gives to the dark elf, and a pair of glasses. The next room over is circular like the first one, but there is no statue in the middle. There is an unnatural darkness.>Tell the two kobolds to disarm traps!>Just walk in and kill any threats that appear before they kill your kobold minions.>Force Blaise to wear the glasses like the nerd she is.>Put the glasses on.
>>33476294>>Just walk in and kill any threats that appear before they kill your kobold minions.Shaxxx gon' give it to ya.
>>33476294>Put the glasses on.
>>33476294>>Force Blaise to wear the glasses like the nerd she is.Hah! Nerd!
>>33476294More like Shax DoorBreaker, am I right?Or Shax "Knockers" GloomBreaker.
>>33476294>Force Blaise to wear the glasses like the nerd she is.>Just walk in and kill any threats that appear before they kill your kobold minions.
>>33476294>There is an unnatural darkness.See if making our sword do its glowy thing makes a dent in the darkness before resorting to trying on strange accessories.
>>33476294Light it up with light powers! Those light birds or whatever.
>>33476294>>Put the glasses on.>>Just walk in and kill any threats that appear before they kill your kobold minions.Schoolgirl Shax go
>>33476294>Put the glasses on.Magic bullshit?
>>33476294Hey, did we take a sip from the Chalice of True-Seeing before coming over here? Being able to ignore illusions seems like a pretty good idea in a Scooby Doo haunted house.
The glasses obviously give vision of the room.
>>33476392This is also a pretty good point.
>>33476392yes do this. Man we have a lot of stuff.
>>33476347>>33476379Don't bully Blaise!
Rolled 18>>33476294>We light nignog>Light that mofo up
Supper complete!Alright. Give me a d20 check because I'm in a d20 mood today.
Rolled 12>>33476506Nat 20 incoming
>>33476294>Force Blaise to wear the glasses like the nerd she is.
Rolled 19>>33476506No worries.
Rolled 4>>33476506Where the crits at?
>>33476531For the rest of your dayyyssIt's a problem freePhilosophy!
>>33476531Not a 20 but still damn good.
>>33476552Has Shax ever had an eye exam? Maybe those glasses would do her some good, I mean living in a cave can't be good for your eyesight.
>>33476596Probably isn't a problem for a race which comes from underground.
>>33476596She's recently had laser surgery
Rolled 14>>33474437Mother's mask is a thing that exists. Havel Moms are Giant Dad's scarier counterpart
>>33476596Plus Shax probably looks super cute in glasses
>>33476631Hey, can Shax shoot laser eyebeams!?
>>33476630Tell that to cave fish and naked mole rats.>>33476631That's... clever.
>>33476662I'll try to be less clever in the future!
>>33476662Maybe she gets around more by sonar? She does have big ears.
>>33476686Honest to god, that calendar puzzle threw me for a loop. I accidentally skipped over the post explaining the diary contents and I thought the men represented some kind of strange cog system....And I was the guy who asked for a Layton puzzle.
>>33476737I didn't realize there was a post explaining the diary contents until you mentioned it just now.
>>33476703Shit, that'd be really cool trait for a goblin-style race.
>>33476932Well people can do it if they try hard right? So why not gobbos with their great big ears? At least they would have a use for them not like silly elf ears.
Well, you see Blaise and a few others eyeing these glasses. You kinda like them. They have a cute design! You better put them on before someone else claims them. You slide the eyewear on. They're black with cute curly designs on the arms, and thin, rectangular frames. After sliding them on, you can see a thin outline around each of your buddies. If you squint your eyes you can sorta see the outlines of the boys in the other rooms, but only the ones closest to you. And they're really hard to see! Looking into the next room, you see an outline surrounding three hunched forms. Hm.You light up some birds and send them into the room. One of the hunched forms moves quickly and swats the three birds out of the air in quick secession, striding through the blows. This darkness stuff is lame. You walk right in. One of the figures moves towards you, so quietly that you're not sure you could see it without your glasses, but you cut it in half with a fast horizontal swing. His buddies come at you at the same time, and you dodge out of the way of one flurry of blows, chopping the other one diagonally as you come out of a roll, doing a spin and dropping an overhead blow on the third. After a few moments, the room flickers back into normal lighting.Blaise is standing in the doorway with her hands on her hips. "And what exactly are you doing rushing in here without a word?" She's tapping her foot. She seems concerned!Tapping the side of your glasses, you give her a wink, "These things let me see through walls and junk. Saw there were three baddies in here and decided to take 'em out!"The newly made maid sniffs and turns her head, "Just give a little warning next time," the statement was punctuated with a weary sigh. "Those are pretty cute on you, by the way.">You earned eight Maid Points! So daring! So cute!>Tell the kobolds to sweep the room for traps!>Crash through the walls to meet up with the nearest boys.>Tell Blaise to fix you a meal and have a quick snack break.
>>33477048>Tell the kobolds to sweep the room for traps!at the same time as:>Tell Blaise to fix you a meal and have a quick snack break.
>>33477048>>Crash through the walls to meet up with the nearest boys.This sounds fun. Blaise doesn't want to make us food.
>>33477048>>Crash through the walls to meet up with the nearest boys.
Rolled 6>>33477048>>Crash through the walls to meet up with the nearest boys.
>>33477148Maybe she should have thought about that before she volunteered. And by volunteered I mean gotten her ass kicked.
>>33477048Smash on through to our boys, see what they've found! Also because we don't smash walls that often.
Rolled 4>>33477048drawfriends we need shax glasses
>>33477194But the maid points! Sweet, sweet arbitrary points!Players will do anything for points.
Crashing through already?! Wow! You guys are relentless.Give me a d20 because that is the theme for tonight!
Rolled 13>>33477294Marvel at THIS!
Rolled 13>>33477294Can't stop, won't stop.
>>33477279Maybe you can get maid points by having her do maid stuff?
Rolled 20>>33477294Ruff Raiders fo lyfe
>>33477331Is it time for DMX?
>>33477322Perhaps you should have stopped?
>>33477331Oooh, so close. We're stuck in mediocrity land again.
>>33477331Truely X is with us. Unfortunate that that doesn't count.
>>33477331Please post faster next time.
>>33477331Shoulda shut them down and opened up shop, anon.
>>33477268how big are the glasses
>>33477454All glasses are as cute as these to me.
You better check up on the rest of the boys. You're worried about them, you know? Without you there, there is no telling what ridiculous things they've gotten up to."Why are you staring at the wall, Shax?"You walk over to the wall, pressing the tip of your sword against it, "Just gonna go check up on the boys. I'm concerned!" You take a few steps and then dash forward, punching the sword through the wall. A few moments later and you've cleared out a good sized hole and crawl through.On the other side of the wall, Sitri and Whoop are fighting four robot centipedes while the kobolds cower in the corner. Oh, jeez! One slithers right at you, but you dispatch it easily. Sitri isn't so lucky and one latches on her arm. Whoop manages to take his out, and one of the kobolds gets caught. You beat the one off Sitri's arm and the fishman cleric saves the kobolds life, but it was still pretty close! When Xab ducks in through the hole, the three kobolds run over to him yipping and crying. Jeez, they're like children."Oh, hey, Shax," Sitri smiles weakly and waves at you with her unwounded arm. Whoop bows. "What're you doing here? Nice glasses, by the way."You tap your glasses, "These things let me see sorta through walls. Just figured I'd check up on you. Found anything interesting?"Sitri holds up a green bottle. "Some gross ooze was in the other room. Bottled some up. Figure it is useful for anything?""How the heck should I know," You respond with a shrug, catching the bottle when Sitri tosses it to you."That's basically been it so far. Haven't found any cool puzzles or loot yet," Sitri says, shrugging.>It's fine! Let's just merge up.>No biggie, I'll go with you and Xab can continue on alone.>Sitri! I'm hungry. Give Blaise some food to cook.>Order Blaise to clean up the rubble.>Give them a thumbs up and go back to your route.
>>33477832>Give them a thumbs up and go back to your route.Crisis that wouldn't have been a crisis if we hadn't observed it averted?
Rolled 18>>33477832>Sitri! I'm hungry. Give Blaise some food to cook.
Rolled 13>>33477832>>It's fine! Let's just merge up.
>>33477832>Mix the goo with the water to make a goo girl.
>>33477832>It's fine! Let's just merge up.>>33477964Lets wait until we get the witch boy or someone to take a look at it first.
>>33477964We need all three before mixing at the appropriate Puzzle... Glorified Fetch Quest station.
>>33477832>It's fine! Let's just merge up.
>>33478000Yeah yeah I know.
Alright! It's time to combine. Let's combine!Give me a d- Well actually, there is no reason for one here.Writing!
Rolled 12>>33478112You can't tell me what to do!
Rolled 16>>33478112There is every reason to.
>>33478112Be honest, do you really want to leave Blaise's cooking ablitiy up to a dice roll? I know she seems to be good luck for the dice but eventually it's gonna run out.
>>33478125>>33478133Thanks for wasting those better than average rolls guys.
>>33478145I say this and then we get >>33478125
Isn't Blaise's meido outfit like, too short? Does she get hit on a lot by the boys or are they too scared too since she's Shax® Property?also hnnng running around in heels and tights
"Ehh, let's just merge up," You offer with a shrug. "The last room looked boring anyway!" There was some sort of box with matchsticks in it and a clock facing and three shapes that looked like houses waiting. You'd rather just not think about it!"Sweet, let's loot this place of all its valuable cultural values." Sitri holds her hand up for a high five, which you oblige immediately. The satyxis winces a bit, "Jeez, I keep forgetting that you actually pack quite a punch."You give Whoop a thumbs up, which might actually offend him since he doesn't have thumbs anymore so you immediately feel super embarassed. Afterwards, you take a quick look around this room. It is circular like the one you just broke out of, but the door doesn't seem to have any puzzles attached to it. With a shrug, Blaise opens it up. On the other side you see a weird machine, and two more statues of what you assume is Barilitine. When Blaise walks in, their heads follow her movement. Creepy.There are all kindsa tools in here, and there are body parts for golems scattered about the place. If Allonces were here she'd roll her eyes and say 'Jeez I wonder what this room was used for' but since she isn't you have to glare in the air towards no one in particular at an obnoxious sarcastic comment that never happened.Those creepy statues are still tracking Blaise, and she glares at them with a pretty unhappy look on her face. The kobolds immediately grab arms and torsos and start playing with them.The door in the back is a heavily sealed steel door.>Who cares cut it open>Loot the place! Search it thoroughly!>Smash those statues>Is this some sort of dumb closed room puzzle? Look at the different sizes of golem torsos, build one that has weird proportions or something and use the key that tumbles out on the plaque resting on the bottom foot of the left statue that only raises its leg when you make the robots eyes meet or something
>>33478652>>Who cares cut it openMake sure to use that Sea Mom power while you do it. Cutting doors open is definitely fulfilling Sea Mom's wishes because water can't flow through closed doors.
>>33478652>>Is this some sort of dumb closed room puzzle? Look at the different sizes of golem torsos, build one that has weird proportions or something and use the key that tumbles out on the plaque resting on the bottom foot of the left statue that only raises its leg when you make the robots eyes meet or somethingWha...?
>>33478652>Loot the place! Search it thoroughly!Then probably>Who cares cut it open
>>33478652>>Is this some sort of dumb closed room puzzle? Look at the different sizes of golem torsos, build one that has weird proportions or something and use the key that tumbles out on the plaque resting on the bottom foot of the left statue that only raises its leg when you make the robots eyes meet or something
>>33478652>Loot the place! Search it thoroughly!>Who cares cut it open
>>33478740>>33478773You guys haven't played enough 999 or similar games! Anyway. I'll be writing now.
[INTERMISSION THEME: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yRYFKcMa_Ek ]You are Allonces, and you are bored out of your mind. Shax left you in the dust to go run around in dusty old tombs with Sitri for some reason. You're not jealous! Okay, you are. Shax knows how to have a good time. You can only hope she is stuck doing some sort of mind numbing puzzle that requires an outrageous amount of trial and error that'd take forever to do.At least you're enjoying her hospitality. You're in her main bed, because she never uses it despite it being super comfortable, kicking your feet and reading a book while chewing on these delicious cheese roll things. The book is about familiars or some junk. You actually got some pretty cool ideas from it. For example: You could turn Shax's goldfish into a mana battery to help you cast super powerful spells regularly. And that isn't even getting started on her dinosaur. Though, there are some cute cat familiars you're tempted to summon.You've mostly been reading to pass the time. You hear a knock on the door. With a mouth full of cheese roll, you can only mumble out a 'crmm un nf' A teddy bear made of ice opens up the door and walks in. What the hell? It holds up a present. Well, you're not about to refuse a gift.Rolling out of bed, you deposit the food on the weird crystal platter it came in on and skip over to the bear, taking the present box out of its hands. "Thanks, buddy. I'm sure your name is, like, Rumblytumblyton or something." The Bear stands there for a moment with its hand held out. You peer at it for a moment with an eyebrow arched. Does it want... a tip? You rifle through your shorts for a second and put a piece of copper in its hands. It stares at the coin for a moment and looks up at you. After a moment it turns around and leaves, slamming the door.The box has a message on it. 'To: Allonces, From: Blaise Vapulatin'>What's in the booooooox?>That trussed up little girl is trying to give you stuff? No thanks!
>>33479220>What's in the booooooox?
>>33479220>>What's in the booooooox?A present from Blaise to Allonces? This can't be anything other than good!
>>33479220I'm not sure which would be a better WHAT'S IN THE BOX reference, Se7en or UHFBut yeah, box
>>33479220What are you waiting for? Open the box
>>33479220Also, what the hell is a bear made of ice going to do with money?
>>33479220If it's bad you'll just tell Shax about it. There's no way she'd favor that girl over you.
>>33479220>Slam the box around to make sure it's not a trap or a kitten or something
>>33479220>>What's in the booooooox?WHAT CAN GO WRONG?!
Can Shax make Allonces a familiar?
Rolled 2>>33479220>What's in the booooooox?Anything else is out of character.
>>33479333She hasn't already? I thought we'd basically reached that point.
>>33479220>What's in the booooooox?Allonces is so damn cheap.
>>33479220Blaise heard about Allonces's pet status and is giving her a collar as a gift. Calling it now.
do not approachjohn doe has the upper handI repeat john doe has the upper handWriting!
What was the bear expecting Chief??? Inquiring minds want to know!
>>33479470A tip that wasn't insultingly cheap.
You crack open the lid of the box, and see a shining lighting peeking out. The lid seems to tear off on its own, and a dark energy seems to be creeping out of the lid of the box as the room fills with an eerie light. What the hell??After the grand show happens, at the bottom of the box is note that says 'Maybe you can be an oversized weapon user too, you little elven idiot,' and a small handle. Wow, you don't even want this garbage. You grab the handle, and pulling it out feel a massive spear come with it. It looks sort of like the elven bounty hunter's lance, but it feels much lighter. You see that most of the spear is made out of the wispy dark stuff that Blaise infuses a lot of her junk with.Instinctively, you feel like this thing will be a lot easier to make hexes to cast. She's a pretty nice girl, but her attitude could use somework.====================================================INTERMISSION TWOYou are Millistinnok, the God of Pot Calling the Kettle Black, and for some reason you have gained a ridiculous surge of power. With this, you can finally begin phase two of your eons spanning plan...====================================================You are Shax Gloombreaker and everything in the room has been smashed up with your sword in an attempt to find tiny keys with numbers on them to go into this stupid plate of this stupid indestructible barrier."No, Shax, you gotta turn them three times left ways in reverse order of the numbers! Please, only you can free me from my eternal torment!" The ghostly cat person tells you."Gaaah! Shut up! How long is this dungeon, anyways?!" You've been ten rooms in by your counting.The golem shaped like a black house cat with devil wings responds in a raspy robotic voice 'IT IS PRECISELY ONE ROOM FURTHER, MASTER.'>Tell the cat to solve the damn puzzle itself.>You have almost collected forty maid points. If you can just solve this puzzle...!>Smash everything around the door in order to tunnel past it.
>>33479726>You have almost collected forty maid points. If you can just solve this puzzle...!BBEG revealed?
>>33479726>You have almost collected forty maid points. If you can just solve this puzzle...!We must have them! Why 40? What do they do? Who gives a flying fuck.
>>33479726>You have almost collected forty maid points. If you can just solve this puzzle...!
>>33479726>You have almost collected forty maid points. If you can just solve this puzzle...!We must get all the maid points, and acquire whatever it is they give.
>>33479726>>You have almost collected forty maid points. If you can just solve this puzzle...!Blaise haaaaaaaaas the cat rock. Do someething with the cat rock.
>>33479726Oh god, it's spreading. Soon Sitri will be lugging around a pipe organ to play.Also, solve the puzzle.
>>33479726>You are Millistinnok, the God of Pot Calling the Kettle Black, and for some reason you have gained a ridiculous surge of power. With this, you can finally begin phase two of your eons spanning plan...>You have almost collected forty maid points. If you can just solve this puzzle...!
>>33479726>>You have almost collected forty maid points. If you can just solve this puzzle...!NO PUZZLE IS SMARTER THAN CHIEF GLOOMBREAKER!
>>33479726Indestructablel? What is this shit? We did use our Sea Mom powers on it right?
>>33479907This is a temple to another goddess, I bet she destructionblocked Sea Mom.
>>33479726So what are the odds that one of our enemies will disguise themselves as Allonces while we're gone?
Alright!Roll d20 for Goblin Insight. Can you achieve maximum maid points?
Rolled 15>>33479967Hilarity incoming?
Rolled 13>>33479967COME ON
Rolled 15>>33479967Have Blaise sing a cat song and do a cat dance.
>>33479470For Allonces to know proper tipping etiquette. Bears make less than minimum wage, you know.
>>3347998816 is good enough.Writing!
We've been getting weirdly good rolls recently. I'm scared we're going to fumble the entire last battle.
Rolled 3>>33480073That would be kind of awesome, actually. It'd make it as epic as Allonces vs the Imp.
>>33480060Hey chief, do you have like a dropbox or an imgur of all the drawings? It'd be super cool if they were all in one place for people to look over.
>>33480096Thanks for reminding me.Next time she's being a shit we should bring it up.
>>33480101I do not! I should put one together. But like all things I should do, please understand that I'm ridiculously lazy and it will take me forever to do.
>>33480156Pretend you're writing the quest and it has to be done to update.Or don't because we all want real updates.
>>33480156As long as it gets done! I'm glad you're even considering doing it, I know questing and stuff is a lot more work than it looks.
>>33479726>You see that most of the spear is made out of the wispy dark stuff that Blaise infuses a lot of her junk with.Blaise wants Allonces to use her lance. Lewd!
>>33480073>finally in last battle>shax vs sitri and allonces>roll to kill them>three nat 1s>kill self instead
>>33480429Why would we be fighting Sitri and Allonces?
>>33480459They turn out to be evil, obviously.
>>33480429Then Shax becomes Sea Mom Jesus.
Staring at a wall of eighteen keyholes, holding twenty keys numbered one through twenty, and having a series of dancing workers with a number of arms from one to twenty waving in different directions has you feeling a mounting desire to just murder everything around you. Blaise is looking at you with a smug grin on her face, the kind you want to just punch off. Minutes pass as your goblin mind tries to work through the steps required to defeat the puzzle... but then you see it! In a flurry of action, you place key after key into slot, slowing turning them in a ridiculous number of alternating directions. A fanfare plays and you hear a click from the panel. The cat person's ghost is surrounded by a great light. With a gasp he says, "Berilitine! To your embrace I return!" And he vanishes. Well, all's well that ends well. The cat robot walks up to the panel and opens it up, gesturing for you to enter. Inside is another statue of Brilitine, this time it is relaxed into a chair and seems like it is plugged in.The statue speaks, "Hello, Shax. I'm the Voice of Berilitine.""Hi. Your dungeon is incredibly lame, and I busted open several walls in it. Is that okay?""It was all designed as a test of intelligence. I would really prefer if you didn't.""Too bad. So, what's my prize?""You don't get one because you-" You smash the statue with your sword. The robot cat falls over, and the dungeon slowly turns quiet. The statue reassembles itself quickly, and everything turns back on, "As I was saying, you don't get-" You smash it again. "That is to say the Order of Berilitine does not recognize your-" Again. "There is no honoring! But you still get stuff!""Okay. Where is it?""Unfortunately, several items are essential to the faith. But, we can spare one of them.">Take the mobile battery that allows you to take the cat robot out of the dungeon.>Take the cyborg upgrade kit that will allow Xab to repair and improve his converted kobolds.
>>33480702>Take the items essential to the faith
>>33480702>>Take the cyborg upgrade kit that will allow Xab to repair and improve his converted kobolds.Cyborg. Kobolds.
>>33480702>cat robotCat robots make everything better!
>>33480702>>Take the cyborg upgrade kit that will allow Xab to repair and improve his converted kobolds.So very much this.
>>33480702>Take the mobile battery that allows you to take the cat robot out of the dungeon.They're both so good! Why must you make us choose?
>>33480702>Take the mobile battery that allows you to take the cat robot out of the dungeon.Allonces would like it
>>33480702>"Is there like, some god shards or something I can use for ascending?"or>"Make friends with Sea Mom!"otherwise>Take the cyborg upgrade kit that will allow Xab to repair and improve his converted kobolds.
>>33480702>Cyber Tucker's Kobolds!WANT!
>>33480773More a reason not to.However, the chance of someone putting a flying enchantment on it for riding a jet cat bot could be cool.
>>33480702>Take the cyborg upgrade kit that will allow Xab to repair and improve his converted kobolds.More durable trap clearers is always good.>>33480773Yeah, well, she wanted to laze around instead of coming along, so she doesn't get any goodies.
>>33480702>>Take the cyborg upgrade kit that will allow Xab to repair and improve his converted kobolds.CyberKobolds!
>>33480702>Take the cyborg upgrade kit that will allow Xab to repair and improve his converted kobolds.Cats are nice and all, but cyborg kobolds sound too awesome to pass up.
>>33480702>Take... control of the temple through sheer force of your (semi)divine dominion.
>>33480702>>Take the cyborg upgrade kit that will allow Xab to repair and improve his converted kobolds.
Wouldn't Blaise like it too? She did get cat rock.
>>33480810Cyborg crab-handed cat-eared furry jet-dino?
>>33480702>>Take the mobile battery that allows you to take the cat robot out of the dungeon.
>>33480773Allonces can find her own damn familiar!...ok, admittedly she probably isn't competent enough to do that and if she did it'd be something lame like a pigmy unicorn. But still, Kobold Kommandos, man?!
>>33480702Hmm. Tempting, tempting. How about we just take both seeing as your believers have long since died out, we are still relatively evil, have a fondness for looting and are the sword of another god who is no doubt a rival?
>>33480856So, you're saying our maid and our pet would be fighting it out over who get's to play with the new toy? And the new toy being a cat it would ignore both to go find some small woodland critters (or kobolds) to murder?
>>33480702>Take the cyborg upgrade kit that will allow Xab to repair and improve his converted kobolds.
Alright. A new age of cybernetic kobolds has begun!You have:>58/56 BtB exp>59/56 MSiF exp>45/56 CyRCTHaM expYou get to be the boss. What kinda boss do you wanna be?>dark queen>dark queen>dark queen>some other stuff
>>33481012>dark queen>dark queen>dark queen
>>33481012Gee, I wonder, maybe, eh nah, fuck it, Dark Queen.
>>33481012>Everybody calm down right nowand>Struggle of the Sea Turtle
>>33481012Can we make it Light Queen? Shax is a light goddess, the skill isn't named properly anymore.
>>33481012Is it too soon to vote for softshell?
>>33481012>Dark QueenDuh>Softshell Soft BellyOne step closer to cute turtles.
>>33481012I-I actually want If you Feed Them...>Softshell
>>33481012>>some other stuff.
>>33481012Dark QueenAnything that gets us closer to Cute Turtles.
>>33481012More like DORK queen!But seriously I don't know why you even asked
>>33481037>>33481061>>33481071Too soon, it is true. But I'll still take them since, really, was any other ability going to be picked?>You do not deny that your heart has greatly desired this. Beautiful and terrible as the morn! Treacherous as the Seas! Stronger than the foundations of the Earth! All shall love you and despair! I'll take those votes now, I guess. Your sword is so fight! What kind of fight is your sword?>There are a lot of options here.>Softshell Soft Belly >Tokka Form!. >Improved Improvised Dual Wield>Struggle of the Sea Turtle >RISING METEOR'S FINAL JUDGEMENT PENANCE SLASH
>>33481012Already voted, but belatedly realized Captcha was warning me about "xaltylc hammerfield". I get the "Hammerfield" (self explanatory), but who/what is "Xaltylc"?
>>33481173Don't say my true name three times or I'll disappear forever...!
>>33481157>Softshell Soft Belly
>>33481157>>Struggle of the Sea TurtleOne step closer to cute turtles.
>>33481157>>Softshell Soft BellySure.
>>33481157>RISING METEOR'S FINAL JUDGEMENT PENANCE SLASH!Because it has the fanciest name.
>>33481183Xaltylk Xaltilc Saltylc
>>33481157>>RISING METEOR'S FINAL JUDGEMENT PENANCE SLASHTHIS.
>>33481157>RISING METEOR'S FINAL JUDGEMENT PENANCE SLASHGOTTA KEEP ON, RISIN' TO DA TOP!
>>33481157The final slash finisher.This is our last level in MSiF, probably, with the quest winding down.
>>33481226>>33481232>>33481248Did Allonces let the trolls out?
>>33481157Either Softshell Soft Belly, or Struggle of the Sea Turtle.Both bring us closer to getting Turtles Are Cute.
Rolled 1>>33481157>Softshell Soft Belly
>>33481157I honestly want RISING METEOR etc etc, just because I don't think we have a finishing move yet. I wanna get my HISSATSU WAZA on.
>>33481269>winding downNot really? We've got another 15 or so threads to go.
>>33481271What's trollish about wanting the splashy finishing move?
>>33481157>Softshell Soft Belly or>Struggle of the Sea Turtle
>>33481271>your opinion isn't the same as mine so fuck you
>>33481157>Softshell Soft Belly or Struggle of the Sea TurtleI want mah turtles
>>33481300People really want Turtles are Cute and the smashy skill tree, so they interpret things that impede that as trolling.
>>33481292Huh, interesting because I read Rising Meteor as a desperate gambit (call on the power of your fellow and fallen allies and anyone that happens to be nearby to save your damn ass) than a finisher.
>>33481230My comp actually crashed when you posted this.Which kind of worries me.Anyway, callin' vote.And please, anons, remember the most important thing. Skills don't matter that much!
>>33481372What!? I'm sorry, I didn't mean to pleasedonttakerevengeImreallysorryAUGGGHHHHHH
>>33481366I dunno, I figure it's more useful. Plus, Soft Underbelly is "find the weakpoint", which I don't think is super necessary since we have There is Nothing My Choppa Cannot Chop. Who needs "attack the weakpoint for massive damage" when we have Zandatsu
>>33481372They matter when it's for turtles.
>>33481372True, but it's always sad when a Mystery Box gets left unopened...
>>33481372It matters if it gives us armored War Tortoises.In turtle stables! Overseen by the Royal Master of the Turtles!LET SLIP THE TERRAPINS OF WAR!
Rolled 8>>33481157Queen aww yiss
>>33481416"Zandatsu"?Also, why would we not want an extra passive damage multiplier that gets its own extra bit of fluff in future writing?
>>33481416The important thing about skills is that they're jokes. This means the best skills are the ones that unlock the most skill flavor text, and ones that unlock less flavor text are clearly inferior.This is how I I suck the ufn out of everything.
>>33481482http://metalgear.wikia.com/wiki/ZandatsuBasically, what I'm saying is who needs to find the weakpoint in armor when you can just cut right through it.
>>33481482>>33481520Oh actually I guess Zandatsu only refers to the part where Raiden grabs people's internal organs, and not where he cuts them into several small chunks.
Looks like softshell won by my count. I'm sure there was some people voting twice or something, but it really isn't that important! I promise!Anyway, it was fun. I hope you also had fun. Thank you so much for playing and reading! You dudes are the best. I have never had a hard time with you folks, and for that I super appreciate it. Seriously. You guys are rad. You are even radical!If, for some reason, you are in thread 46 and have not read the previous 45 threads, my twitter account is: @FouldrinkingI'll post when I have a thread up there! My typical days to run are Thursday and Sunday, but that isn't a super hard schedule or anything soAnyway. Thanks yet again for reading and playing! Goodnight!
>>33481309Nah, it's just that for the last dozens of threads noone gave a wet fart about Rising meteor, instead everyone was fairly united in the goal of getting to Turtles are cute.And then all of a sudden out of nowhere we get people clamoring for a skill that had pretty much been discarded.
I just got here. So about those maid points... What kinda prize do we get for cashing them in? It better not be some shitty sparkly comb like at the game centers I went to as a kind.Also this I cant help but picture Allonces as a Ribbon expy.
>>33481566>You are even radical!*kickflips over a railing*You're cool too Chief. I'm outty.
>>33481584Blaise's eternal love
>>33481599>Blaise's eternal loveDo we get it manually?
>>33481566Thanks for the thread Chief!
>>33481579I wouldn't agree with that statement, but okay.
>>33481579Might be different people? I dunno, I've wanted Rising Meteor forever, but I haven't been in active threads where we could upgrade in a while.
>>33481614Orally, she confesses
>>33481520Cuz the weak point isn't necessarily in the armor, it could be in the ego (conversation-jitzu ho!), it could be something tangible (See this momento I found in your pouch? I'd really hate for it to fall into the wrong hands, if you know what I mean), or it could be the armor (You see, by wacking your helmet with the flat of my blade I set it ringing like a bell, causing the rest of your resonating armor to shake itself to pieces leaving you naked befo- dear Sea Mom cover that up!). Just saying it isn't necessarily an armor reduction is all. Metephysical soft belly and all that...
>>33481688What I'm getting out of this is we might be able to strip people naked with our sword
>>33481688I'm not sure how much weight to put in that, since that seems to me like it's part of the fluff. "Turtle Attacks and attacks while in a turtle stance will aim and strike weakpoints without fail!" is the only part that really stuck out to me. Beyond that, if it is meant to be taken that way, Chief usually gives us the opportunity to completely destroy an enemy's point in a conversation regardless.All of that said, it's not really worth discussing further. You already won and it's not a terribly big deal anyway, since we're bound to get more points along the way.
>>33481688So basically, its like the shatterpoint skill from starwars? Awesome.
>>33481729Allonces is in grave danger.
>>33481847Who would want to see Allonces naked? She's an elf, that's gross.
>>33481773This is true. Now back to my scheming to acquire a mobile Island Turtle fortress for the greater glory of Shax, SeaMom and turtles everywhere! ...and maybe also to secure the survival of terrestrial life on the coming water planet...
Wait, what if the world rests on the back of a giant turtle?What if Shax finds this out?
>>33481932>What if Shax finds this out?What if she forgets?
>>33482060Whoop will remind her.