>>33412719
Use your thinkwaves to make it get you some cookies.

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>>33412779
Thinkwaves: Failure.

>>33412719
Pet it.

>>33412719
Attempt to ride the giraffe by luring it with leaves.

Attempt to hold an intelligent conversation with the creature, as it is an extraterrestrial it may be able to communicate back.

>>33412867
The giraffe seems distracted by something. What's it looking at?

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>>33412882
>>33412895
Euuuurgh.

Your tiny child arms simply are not made for distance.

>>33412961
Crawl under the fence.

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>>33412959
Shit, I don't know, the booty?

>>33412961
Let your extraterrestrial companion pick up a leaf and fly in front of it to lure it over.

Search your memory for the name of your extraterrestrial friend and attempt to get his attention by calling out to him

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>>33413040
>>33413051
Your alien comrade doesn't answer to you, foolish Earthling. He's only here to feed off your brainwaves, like in Superman: Hero of the CCCP issue 14. Duh.
>>33412976

>>33413095
Climb on top of the giraffe.

>>33413095
Try to sound like a giraffe.

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>>33413115
This thing be tall as hell though.

>>33413177
Smack its legs so it sits down.

>>33413177
That's what the tail is for, dummy, to pull yourself up!

D'aaaaw I love this quest.
And I love you too, OP

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>>33413246
(After the clusterfuck of depression but adorable orphans, I had to lighten the mood a bit.)
>>33413209
You give a good pull on its tail. It makes a loud noise that you assume to be pain. Uh oh.

>>33413283
Duck.

>>33413283
Move away from the ass.

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>>33413322
>>33413350
You scoot away from the giraffe. As a sign of peace, you imitate its face.

>>33413283
Shit's about to go flying!

No, really, get the fuck away before it shits on us.

>>33413371
This doesn't seem to be working. Try offering it your extraterrestrial.

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>>33413441
You use your mind powers to levitate the alien.

The giraffe licks its mouth.

>>33413468
Go look for something to feed the giraffe.

>>33413468
Levitate the alien to the giraffe's mouth. If he's not going to be useful to us, we'll make him be useful. As giraffe food.

Consider the fact that the alien's your friend and you're pretty sure that a normal person's friends aren't always useful without leverage.

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>>33413561
What a horrible idea! That's your friend. As you move to take him away -

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

>>33413610
Make a new one with your mind.

>>33413610
Meh, we got a better friend now. A MOTHERFUCKIN GIRAFFE FRIEND!

>>33413610
Climb on top of the fence, then launch yourself at its face.

>>33413610
We need to teach this punk a lesson. Go fetch a heavy branch or a lead pipe or something.

>>33413610
What? Dude was feeding off of our brainwaves without our permission. Freeloader.

>>33413610
Consider the fact that your alien friend's got super powers and hope for his return or the giraffe to become his next mindwave stealing-victim

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>>33413647
OH I'M FUCKING SORRY, WHAT A GREAT IDEA. YOU FORGOT THAT YOU WERE AN ALL-POWERFUL DEITY.
>>33413698
>>33413647
It's not the same!
>>33413707
Wait, maybe? Shit, how do aliens work?

>>33413743
Reach down the giraffe's mouth and get your friend back.

>>33413743
Focus your brainwaves to give your alien friend strength. Maybe something will come of this.

>>33413743
Remember the Great Gazoo? Your friend's probably like that, only much less annoying. He'll be fine.

And failing that, you could just wait for him to pass through...

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>>33413772
All of a sudden, it looks super gross.

>>33413846
Would you rather try the other end? Because most people would rather put a hand down a giraffe's mouth then up its ass.

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It lifts you up onto its back, with MIND powers.

>>33413945
It looks like our alien buddy invaded its brain. Now break out of the zoo.

>>33413945
See? Your friends ok! And apparently also a giraffe now, but that's a step up!

>>33413945
Girraffe-alien friend. Hell yes. Don't take the time to question if the giraffe is now a part of the fantasy, FLY AWAY TO ADVENTURE.

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>>33413978
>>33414005
>>33414011
You're about to fly into space on an alien giraffe, just like in Superman: Hero of the CCCP issue 14, when you hear a great knocking and scratching.

>>33414061
Stand up quickly, yet carefully as not to startle your still acclimating alien friend, to observe the area for the sound.

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>>33414093
The loudspeaker crackles on.
"Hello, patriots of the CCCP! The Great Profitable War continues to rage, but we have made many victories against the fascist scum. With our allies of Britain and the USA, we shall drive our bullets into Hitler's skull. Our planes fly above us as I speak! All able-bodied men are asked, once again, to report to the local military base and join the struggle for freedom! Glory to the revolution! Brought to you by, Sturbridge Weaponry."
A song plays over the speakers. Everyone salutes a flag of a two-headed bird and a statue.

Feelings of seven year old confusion well up in you.

>>33414061
Ignore it and fly up to the moon. We need to see if its made of cheese!

>>33414116
You're so close to doing so, but doesn't the filthiest word you know, the f-bomb feared by many, fascist, begin to perk your interests?

>>33414109
Dazzle the crowd with your far more interesting giraffe.

Feel good! For CCCP!

>>33414172
Seven year old! Don't give a shit!
Wheeeee!

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>>33414172
The last time you said the f-word, your teacher slapped your hands with a ruler.
>>33414272
Last time you didn't pay attention in Recent History, the teacher made you cry in front of the class.
>>33414213
CCCP. The Committee of Capitalism, Commerce, and Profit. Your teacher taught you that it was perfect, and that all f-words gotta die, their skulls crushed into paste for the Russian war machine.

But you digress.

Wait, the f-word. How come adults get to say it?

>>33414176
You start to do... something, when the giraffe's head sprouts helicopter blades and flies away. A bird comes out of the neck.

"WAKE THE FUCK UP. WAKE THE FUCK UP. WAKE THE FUCK UP," it caws.

>>33414338
Stay lost in the dream.

>>33414338
>WAKE THE FUCK UP. WAKE THE FUCK UP. WAKE THE FUCK UP.

Axe to the bird.

>>33414338
You attempt to strangle the bird that just came out of your imaginary friend's host, who knows what the bird has done to your alien bud and swift action is the only course of action

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>>33414388
>>33414392
>>33414422
WHAT IS -

Oh. What the fuck did you just dream?

Wake up,

>>33414453
OH FUCK, WE'RE STILL DREAMING THERE ISN'T SUPPOSED TO BE COLOR IN THIS CRAZY ALTERNATE REALITY

>>33414453
Take a shower.

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OH FUCK, COMMUNIST HUNT.

Oh man, you're probably late. But you also got that raggedy-ass bed hair. ARRRRUGH.

>>33414529
Depends on how lazy the God of Visual Comic Sketching feels, this seems ok-ish.

>>33414542
Good plan.

>>33414567
Meh, just grab a high powered rifle from the armory and practice your commie spotting skills.

>>33414567
>>33414639
Do both at the same time.

>>33414567
Marvel at all the details you couldn't see before. Holy shit, my eyes aren't just black dots?!

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>>33414639
You like to think of yourself as a pacifist. That one time with the shoe doesn't count.
>>33414691
STYLE OVER PRECISION SHOOTING, DAMMIT.
>>33414698
Girl, you know you gorgeous as all hell. You didn't need to focus on anything else.

Ah shit, the hardest part of the morning: What to wear.

>>33414453
>>33414567
HOLY SHIT WE HAVE COLOR NOW.

Anyways, let's drag our ass out of bed and go to work.

>>33414763
how about grey uniform #18 today, mix it up a little?

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>>33414816
That grey uniform # 13 tho.

>>33414763
Burlap. It's environmentally friendly and smells of beets and home...

You miss the beet farm back home...

>>33414763
Let's go with that one uniform they fucked up that reads 607.

>ffs when you miss OP's impeccable time frame.

>>33414816
>>33414886

#18 is too drab, maybe a slighter shade of silver with uniform #66?

>>33414886
Grey uniform #B, then.

>>33414886
WAIT WAIT

I GOT IT

GRAY UNIFORM WITH A BLACK UNDERSHIRT!

>>3341488
the boots we beat 405 with

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>>33414905
>>33414964
You are the sexiest communist hunter in the world.

You don't know why you took 607 to wear today. Fun story behind that, actually! 607 was your roommate, and she -

A knock on the door.

>>33415046
While you open the door, hide behind it, so it looks like the door is opening itself.

>>33415046
DAMN WE LOOK GOOD.

Answer the door.

>>33415046
You reported her as a communist spy, didn't you.

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>>33415098
Dude, just like stoner friends, you don't report on roommates. Shit's against the cosmic law.
>>33415073
>>33415073
You trip on an axe handle as you open the door. It takes only seconds for you to spring back up.

It's 629; corporate defense attorney Kaguya Fujiwara. A commie. You still have her number on the list, and give your smuggest grin.

She hands you a note.

"Hello, 606. At first, I was worried a decent human being was going to be accused. Turns out, it's the woman who went back on her silent agreement and threw 203 in jail. Perhaps you don't understand how promises work, 606, so I'll make sure to educate you. You're not getting out alive, I swear to you. You won't even have time to regret your betrayal to the resistance."

Only when she sees that you have finished reading, she leaves with a smile.

What does this bitch have up her sleeve?

>>33415158
Stick your tongue out in defiance.

axe with the axe

>>33415158
She's just angry at you for having a fast metabolism, this fat bitch has been on every diet written and she still has a fat ass despite her hard work.

>>33415158
Put the note in your pocket. Silently thank her for giving you evidence.

>>33415158
How's Slick doing? Still trying to play grabass with you?

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>>33415249
How many times do you have to repeat yourself; Murder is illegal. Also, immoral. Should've said that first.
>>33415291
To be honest, she do have a nice ass though.
>>33415205
You reach your head out the doorway and do what you do.
>>33415299
You pocket the note and go back inside.

>>33415340
Burn all the clothes that have 606 on it. You are now 607.

>>33415340
>To be honest, she do have a nice ass though.

606, is there something you're trying to tell us?

Don't worry, we won't hate you for who you have relationships with.

>>33415340
You feel this is an omen. Better find a lawyer in case shit goes to shit.

>>33415453
Yeah, she did just threaten us. Let's go find the OTHER company defense attorney.

You know, the good one.

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>>33415411
Jesus, you don't just burn clothes. You sicko.
>>33415428
Shit, man, if something's pretty, something's pretty. But Kaguya is one cold-hearted asshole.
>>33415453
What? Your mind has weird shit going on.

"Hey blondie, wait up!"

You close the door without looking. It doesn't close completely.

"AH. THE SLICK'S HAND HAS BEEN DAMNED!"

>>33415499
Inspect the blockage in your door.

>>33415535
What blockage? There's nothign there

>>33415561
>>33415499

Probably just some old plywood, use your axe.

>>33415499
Something's blocking our door. And we know how to fix that problem.

Force the door closed. As hard as you can.

>>33415499
Slick doesn't count as a person, right? Our pacifism isn't against harming a sexist douche who's a little too handy in the elevator, right?

>>33415499
He's here to help you. At least hear him out.

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>>33415535
Oh, it's the man the manager headbutted in the dick last night.
>>33415625
Slick? You read warning signs about this guy on the bulletin board. You never met him in person, though.

"Hey there, beautiful lady. I just wanted to apologize for that whole communism allegation thing. But don't worry, you'll be fine, trust me. I never let anything bad happen to a damsel in distress. Get all that? So ignore this memo I'm just about to hand you."

He holds out a slip of paper.
You wish that either you could hear or that he knew you were deaf.

>>33415750
>help
if it means helping out with our virginity problem, then sure.

>>33415755
Read the note.

>>33415755
Good thing you can lip-read

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>>33415791
You lost that years ago. You still remember it, actually. Diplomatic trip to Paris, dazzling men and women, and a baguette.

>>33415831
Depends on how convenient the weather and humidity are.

>>33415821
Well, let's read this memo.

"You have been accused of Grand Communism. Have a nice day."

>>33415755
Take note, tell him (with a note) that Kaguya was looking for him, she wanted to have his opinion on her new garter belt.

>>33415859
Flip our shit.

Flip our shit real good.

>>33415859
>in capitalist Russia, law beats you!
When worst comes to worst, there's always the third party....

>>33415859
Renounce pacifism. FOREVER.

Start by murdering Slick.

>>33415859
Request his aid with minimal charm. It'll work with Slick.

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>>33415907

Wha- what?
"Uh, you're under arrest as well. Now, now, what did I say? Don't worry, the Slick's got this annoying tick of a case."
Two security guards grab you by the shoulders.

>>33416007
Quickly scribble on the note he gave us that we're deaf and mute.

Call him a jackass.

>>33416007
>h-hey, hands off the clothes!

also, get Stanislav to help out

>>33416007
Don't panic. We have an alibi. We were on a date with that guy in the lunch room, right? Slick saw us there, too.

>>33416007
606, there is an axe nearby.

FUCKING USE IT ON A PERSON.

>>33416007
NO! Point to the number on your uniform!

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>>33416073
With this, you calm down. The guards throw you into a cell with two beds and leave.

There's someone sitting in the corner.

>>33416112
Approach them.

>>33416112
Get in a bunk and curse your lot in life.

>>33416112
Scream, then cry that you can't.
Maybe then 203 might actually pity you.

>just as planned.jpg

>>33416112
Look over, and hope it isn't 203.

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>>33416178
>>33416126
Oh. Hi there.

>>33416264
Balls. Can we scratch stuff into the ground/dirt?

Write "Balls."

>>33416264
Somehow ask him how you got accused of this.

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>>33416303
You realize that the dirt floor can be written upon.

203 doesn't seem angry, but awestruck. Somehow. He says some things, but you can't hear it.

You point to your ears and nod no.

>>33416346
Write "I'm Deaf" on the floor.

Just in case he didn't get the message.

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>>33416364
He starts writing first.

Oh. He must think... what? You turned him in, and he thinks it was a weird undercover thing?

>>33416346
Look behind you.

>>33416416
"Nope."

>>33416416
Just nod.
they have cameras everywhere.

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>>33416425
OH GOD WHAT IS IT oh there's nothing but a bunk bed.

>>33416447
>>33416456
In an effort to confuse everyone, you write nope and nod yes. Hopefully, 203 gets the message.

>>33416537
See how 1203 is handling this.

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>>33416627
He offers to you a handshake. You accept and it turns into some sort of secret commie gang sign.

Looks like you were able to convince 203 that you're an undercover spy like him, and that his sacrifice was necessary. Or maybe he thinks you're here to free him.

Well, better one ally than one enemy.

Nice place to end Part 6.

>>33416704
Thanks for the thread OP.

I never expected this quest to have a plot; I really like it!

>>33416704
I LOVE THE COLORS