>>33362047
>>What just happened?
>>Are you hurt?

>>33362047
>>So, what do you think?
>>Are you hurt?
>>How do I get my clothes back?

>my first, and hopefully only, battle.
Hah!

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>>33362047

>No! Bad Aiko!
>What just happened?


SPIRIT OF TOMOYO BE GONE

>>33362206
That spirit needs to SHINE BRIGHTER.

>>33362047
>What just happened?
>Are you hurt?
>How do I get my clothes back?

>writing

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"Are you hurt, Aiko?"
She seems to pretend that I said didn't say anything before replying back with a weak "No no, I'm fine".

She certainly didn't look fine a minute ago, I can still see the bruise on her leg.

"So what just happened?"
No response.

None of her injuries must be very bad, they haven't stopped her from running her hands along the folds and edges of the dress. Her hands running along the length of the lining and soft satin of the top vest.

"So, what do you, uh, think?"
She responds by lightly tugging at the oversized sleeve on my left arm, running her hand over a few of the buttons and sliding a finger into the sleeve to feel the undershirt.

Aiko, stoooop

"Please, please NO WAIT NOT THERE THAT TICKLES, Okay, please, AIKO STOP"
Finally, she acknowledges what I'm saying
"What? What's wrong?", she looks up at me, looking completely innocent.
"That's really embarassing! You're looking up and down every inch of me!", Even though I'm complaining, that doesn't stop her from moving down to my socks and obsessing over those.

"No need to be embarassed! It looks really cute on you! I wish I had an outfit that looked even half as good on me!" she says as she tries to undo a ribbon on the knee-length socks.

I shoot back, "But that's not why I'm embarrassed!"

[1/2]

>>33362706
Disregard Injuries, admire loli frills.
Aiko is the hero we deserve.

>>33362855
There's no helping good taste.

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>>33362706
Her gaze turns to the material the socks are made out of, she pulls one of them back and snaps it into place. It feels like the softest of silk woven into ornately done laces and ribbons.

"Aiko, please. I don't even know how to get my normal clothes back."

She finally looks up at me, but not quite at me, more like a little below me.
"Wow" she says, her face sporting a slight blush, "even THOSE have ribbons on them"
'Those'? What is she-
Within a second, I slap the folds of the dress between my legs and hold it tight.
"AIKO!" I can't see it, but I can feel a blush across my face that rivals the deep red on the outfit's buttons.

"Ooh, And these shoes! Where did you even find shoes that look as cute as these?" She starts playing with the red laces and feeling the gossy material that seems to comprise them.

Suddenly, the door opens, it's Maeda.
"Aiko! I got your message! Where is-"
She stops
And stares
And stares
She's walking over

Oh no NOW SHE'S DOING IT TOO.

>Okay, seriously, you two, please stop!
>Examine the marked card in hand more closely
>Think about getting my school clothes back
>Start asking questions and hope they respond this time
>

>>33362937
>>Examine the marked card in hand more closely

Eh. We got more important things to do. Like correcting the INJUSTICE that is this clearly wronged card.

>>33362937
>>Examine the marked card in hand more closely
>>Start asking questions and hope they respond this time

>>33362937
>Okay, seriously, you two, please stop!

WE NEED AN ADULT!

>>33362992
I don't want to risk the adult being caught in the spell too!

>>33362937
>Examine the marked card in hand more closely
>Think about getting my school clothes back
>img-dogstare.gif

>>33362937
>>Examine the marked card in hand more closely
>>Start asking questions and hope they respond this time
Do you two need a room with my outfit or can we get serious again?

>>33362992
Mom would be doing the exact same thing, except we couldn't tell her to stop

>>33362937
>Think about getting my school clothes back

concentrate on it.

>>33362937
>Examine the marked card in hand more closely
>Start asking questions and hope they respond this time

>>33363042
Mom would be all "This looks just like my old outfit."

>>33362937
>>Start asking questions and hope they respond this time
>Examine the marked card in hand more closely

You can't stop them, just put your mind off it

We should start walking home like this without saying a word. They'll follow like our servants.

>>33363153
Good plan.

>>33363153
wouldn't we just get like a mob of people following us and feeling us up?

>>33363200
That just means we need to run faster.

>>33363153
We cannot go out in public in the frills. The shame would destroy us.

>>33362937
>I... I don't hate this

>>33363452
That's the frills talking, not me! Stupid mind-influencing frills

>>33363473
let the /u/ flow through you, anon

Best girl and Maede are feeling us up
just embrace it

accept pure rabu rabu

and get your beret back

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Maeda isn't helping matters any.
"Wow, how do you get your hair so straight, and so fluffy?"

I have to ask, "Are you not the least bit concerned how long it has grown?"

She changes her focus to my sleeves, moving her hands along the lengths of it until they find the buttons along the wrist.

Maybe if I walk away, they'll leave me alone.

Nope, can't walk now, because Aiko is undoing and redoing some of the laces on my shoes. She runs her hands along the edges and along the inside, feeling the soles. I do admit, they are very comfortable shoes.

And really... I don't want ANYONE ever knowing about this, but I don't dislike the outfit, or the frills. It certainly feels like it belongs on me.

Wait, what about the card I got?
It still has the black mark across the front of it. The shine of the card is slowly radiated at the edges, moves along the inset of the card, and consumed by the ink in the middle.
I'm unsure if I've ever seen anything like it in my life. It's as if handfuls of sand are being dumped onto a flame that is struggling to breathe.

It's nothing like the other card I have, the still-glowing card is vibrantly expressing its warm glow. Comparing the two brings out the difference in the two cards. The black marking still displaying a inky void in the center of the other card that has a hard black edge where it meets the face of the card itself.

[1/2]

>>33363508
>Best girl
Why would we be touching ourself?

>>33363239
I'd still like to make it home like this without detransforming somehow. Maybe wear a sheet. Mom's face would be priceless.

>>33363508
You remind me of Robinho.
That's not a good thing.
Please consider discovering capitalization, punctuation, and a non-namefag existence if nothing else.

>>33363584
Now, now. No one here is Robinho, let's not say things we can't take back.

>writing

>>33363584
I'm sorry, anon.
I only avoid proper sentence structure and syntax when I'm not being serious.
I'll behave, I promise.
I usually post anon, but it seems like quests with resident namefags do better as a whole for some reason, and I want this quest to prosper.

Who's 'Robinho', by the way?

>>33363625
I only said they remind me.
Accusations of Robinho-ism is not a laughing matter indeed.

>>33363649
>Who's 'Robinho', by the way?
You're better off not knowing, much better off.

>>33363717
O-ok, anon-sempai.

>>33363544
Aiko is best girl, anon
just accept it

The truth will set you free!

>>33363649
>I usually post anon,
Honestly, I'd prefer if you went anon here. Not enough to make more than this one post about it.

>Who's 'Robinho', by the way?
A particularly annoying yurifag.

>>33363807
I forget, is that a reference's to Gobble's now dead Pokemon Quest?

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>>33363536
Strange, the original card that I'm holding has a PLACE for a name, but there's no name there. Maybe I should try to think of a name for this card sometime. The card where Haruka once lived.

The other one has part of the black marking over the place that a name is supposed to go. It also lacks any kind of name, it seems.

I should think about getting my regular clothes back because now BOTH Maeda and Aiko are examining my legs, which is making me feel way more uncomfortable than it should.

I put the 'corrupt' card under my arm and start examining the original card with both hands. Concentrating on the soft, warm feeling that the card is streaming through my hands.
I picture myself falling downward into the card, hitting the surface of it with a warm splash. The rest of the world seemingly melting away. Leaving me a quiet, safe place to call my own.
That is what I like the most about this card, it makes me feel so safe and welcome.

The pulsating glows start to fade, and the theatre returns to normal again.

Both Maeda and Aiko are suddenly surprised, "Huh?"

I look down, my school clothes are back, and there are two girls on their knees looking at my otherwise normal looking shoes and knee-length skirt.
They slowly stand up and look at me like I had just taken a valuable toy away from them.

They should know better, really.

>Ask them questions (what questions?)

And then, pick all that you want to do

>Go to the nurse with Aiko
>Go to the meeting place for the student council, I need to show them this
>Stay and talk for a while with the girls
>Just go home, I've had enough and Mom might be getting worried

>>33363880
>>Just go home, I've had enough and Mom might be getting worried

DO NOT WORRY MOM.

>>33363880
>Just go home, I've had enough and Mom might be getting worried

I want to see mom.

>>33363880
>Ask them questions (I take it getting clothing from your power isn't normal?)
>Just go home, I've had enough and Mom might be getting worried

>>33363880
>>Go to the nurse with Aiko
Then
>>Just go home, I've had enough and Mom might be getting worried
I think they might be the ones asking questions now.

>>33363880
>Just go home, I've had enough and Mom might be getting worried
Say bye-bye to the girls! Or are they walking us back too? Mornings only seems kinda weird.

>>33363880
>Just go home
Time to bombard mother with questions!

>>33364000
Aiko was with us specifically to walk us back.

>>33363880
>Go to the nurse with Aiko

Common courtesy, I don't want best sister to be hurt.

>>Stay and talk for a while with the girls

>Just go home, I've had enough and Mom might be getting worried

>>33364000
I think it best at least one of them comes with us.

>>33363880
>>Just go home, I've had enough and Mom might be getting worried
Ask them the questions from earlier again.

>>33364022
I hope she runs into mom with us, sounds deliciously awkward.

>>33364059
Not really. The entire point of going to school was to make friends.

Now, the fact that she's magic and wanted by Fortune.. THAT might be awkward.

>>33364092
Yes, that's the point. If it was random ignorant schoolmate #23 it wouldn't be.

I'm seeing

>Go to the nurse with Aiko

And then

>Just go home

If that's true, then writing.

>>33364146
Close enough. I'd slightly prefer Aiko leaving and Maeda taking her place, if only because it'd save time. But not enough to interrupt writing.

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Something has come up, I'll be back in about an hour or so to continue this thread.

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>>33364804
Thanks for telling us.

>>33364804
Since I gotta go, thanks for running! Hope we get some nice mom shenanigans before thread end.

>>33364804
Just arrived. I found the fawning over the clothing amusing as heck. We should do it more often. Hopefully you return soon.

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Hello

I'm back

And I'm writing

I'll extend the thread lifetime a couple hours to compensate

>writing

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>>33367127
Hooray!

Don't neglect important sleep just to run a little longer please.

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"Aww, but that outfit was really cute!" Aiko chirps, completely forgetting about the bruise on her leg.

And also, is that blood running down her arm?!

"Aiko! Look at you! You need to go see the nurse right away!"
I don't even know why I'm so concerned when she barely seems to register it as being a wound.
"Oh this? It's fine, just a small cut I got on stage. I can just walk it off."

This won't do at all.
My hand takes hold of her hand as I start leading her out of the theatre, toward the office.

Mae is watching all of this happen without saying a word. Though, very subtley, I can see her smiling. She follows closely behind us as we walk.

[1/?]

>>33367320
>Mae is watching all of this happen without saying a word. Though, very subtley, I can see her smiling
Is it finally time for Shadowruns?

>>33367320
It would be super-adorable if we got home, Mom freaked out the exact same way, and she healed the wounds the rest of the way with magic.

Assuming the nurse isn't magic.

>>33367424
I think Mae does every expression other than anger subtly.

>>33367424
She thinks we are cute.
She is correct.

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>>33367320
Aiko and I continue to argue a bit, she insists she's fine, I insist that she needs someone to look at her right away.
Maybe I'm overreacting, but that was really scary, and I'm frightened by the possibility of ever having to watch her get hurt again.

She eventually stops protesting as we get to the office.
But, to make her agree to it, I had to promise to show her that outfit again. Mae was happy to back her up on that, too.

We walk in, and she walks into the nurse's office while Mae and I stand outside in the hallway.
Inside, I can see the nurse bandage up the cut and find ice for her to hold onto the bruise. I don't know entirely how this helps, but at least it's doing something other than simply ignoring it.

"Hey Masami" Mae still seems enthralled by the sight she saw, "Care to tell me what happened earlier?"

Oh, right! I didn't get to tell her!

I explain what happened from the beginning, starting with the card trying to steal the armor on the stage, Aiko trying to sneak up on it as it was forming, and the transforming part.

I didn't say anything about the girl who lived inside the card I had, that just sounds crazy.

Mae seems worried about this, but gets lost in thought soon afterwards.

>Anything else you want to talk to her about/ask?

>>33367478
Not in particular. We already had most of our questions answered.

>>33367478
>I didn't say anything about the girl who lived inside the card I had, that just sounds crazy.
Everything about the situation already sounds crazy. You could probably go to the bathroom and have crazy come out with how suffused with crazy everything in your life is.

>>33367478
Ask her what she's thinking about.

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>>33367478
Are they gonna follow us home in hope that we transform for them?

>>33367478
So is everyone here magic? This is all too strange for me.

>>33367580
I think only the student council are? They did say not everyone here was magic last thread.

>>33367564
This sounds good.

Okay, so

>Ask for her thoughts
>Ask how many people are magic

>writing

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We outside the doorway, peering in as the nurse examines the bruise and dabs up the small streak of blood on her forearm.

Otherwise it's uncomfortably silent. I don't know if Mae just doesn't know what to ask at this point, or if I just told her of something so crazy that she has to completely re-evaluate her outlook on the world.

Maybe she knows how it feels like now.

"What are you thinking?" I ask, I really don't like the silence between us.
"It's just that," she cuts herself off from voicing her thoughts outloud, "There is a card that has magic powers?"
It's hard for me to believe it, too

"I heard from Ryo about your card. He said that it glowed slightly, like a dim bulb." She says

Glowed slightly? It glows pretty brilliantly for me.

"I had thought that these sort of things were completely genetic, that no single object in the world could just 'have' it." she ponders, walking over to the opposite end of the hall.

"Even Kaori's tricks, where she is able to predict things using her deck of cards, relies entirely on her being the one that using the deck. The cards themselves are just regular playing cards."

She seems befuddled at the notion, maybe she would understand better if she saw it for herself?

[1/?]

>>33367953
Oh, that's easy. Only me and mom can use the cards.

>>33367953
I should let her know, "I have the card that it was using. When the armor broke apart, I was able to catch it."

Her face perks up at the mention.
She peeks into the nurse's office and gets Aiko's attention,

"We're going to be in the office for a minute, come get us when you're done."

Aiko gives a thumbs up, and Maeda leads me across the hallway into a medium-sized room with a large table taking up most of it.

She walks around the room and starts searching in the various corners and cabinets. At one point, she ducks her head under the table, grabs a hold of something, and unplugs it. Laying the now-disabled device in the center of the table.

"This room is typically for students to record study sessions, but it's too early in the semester for anyone to be using it." She says, as she grabs another wire that is threaded through the table and unhooks it.
A few minutes later, she pops her head up from under the table.
"There, everything that can record in the room is unplugged. Can you show me this card that was causing so much trouble?" She says, taking a seat across from me.

I take out both of the cards, the card that I was using earlier and the card that still has the black mark across the front of it.

My hands shuffle the two cards in place, I take the card that's 'clean' and put it close to me, and then set the other card face-up on the table.

And then Maeda's face turn stern, and she shows a very shocked and confused expression.

[2/?]

>>33368132
I wonder, can she see it? Aiko didn't before.

>>33368156
I wonder what Mom will make of it.

>>33368208
Considering she didn't want us to Get Involved(tm), probably not anything good.

>>33368208
I imagine a combination of sad, angry and yet proud all at the same time.

>>33368233
Maybe she didn't want us to get involved because she thought it would doom us to having no friends ever except cards like her. We've already proved her wrong if that's the case.

>>33368233
>>33368247
No, I meant the black marked card. I don't think it was her doing.

She'll definitely be sad, angry and proud about the card we stored that sweet outfit in.

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>>33368132
She extends her hand, toward the card.

And then puts her finger down no where near the card, before shuffling her finger around on the table for a minute.

She looks kind of embarrassed, "Can I see that other card?"

I take the other card and set it down right next to the marked card.
She moves her hand to the side of the original card that is opposite the marked card, and sets it down, shuffling around as before.

"Is it.. here?" She replies
What is she talking about? "No, it's on the other side."

Her hand moves to that side, and her pinky manages to find the card. She shuffles it slightly, but then raises her hand from the table.

She sighs, "Can you please pick the card back up?"

I pick it up and hold it in my hand, her face snaps back to looking relieved, but worried.

[3/?]

>>33368395
Yeah, she can't see them either. Well shit.

>>33368420
I think she can see them when we're holding it.

>>33368420
She's distraught when we're not holding them. She must be able to sense them somehow. I don't know if Aiko could manage that much.

>>33368395
"Can you hand it to me?" She asks
This is all getting really weird.

I hand the card over to her and she studies it closely.

Her hand runs over the face of the card, she then takes it and sets it down. She looks completely dumbfounded for a moment, and then picks the card back up.

The other card gets examined as well, but she's able to find it readily, reaching over and sweeping it off the table with ease.

"I, don't know how to describe this" she says, setting the original card back down on my side of the table, keeping the marked card in her hand.
"What's the problem?" I ask, this is really starting to make me scared.

"There's something, wrong with this card." She says, rubbing the face of it, her fingers sliding along the black marking.
"When you set this down on the table, it's like, I was looking straight past it. I knew the card was there, but it was like my eyes refused to notice it."

Didn't notice it was there? How can she not see it?

"Also, it doesn't, feel like the other card. Is that other the card the one you showed to Ryouta?" She's looking increasingly worried

"Yes, this card is the one that made all the glowy stuff happen that I told you about." I say, running the soft edges of that card through my fingers.
[4/?]

I don't see what's worrying about this from her perspective. Oh no, the mysterious enemies we knew nothing about were made by invisible cards. This is such a large change from the situation we were in before.

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>>33368592
I start to think about that positive energy flowing through the card, of the soft warmth that seems to be constantly emitted from the inside of it. It starts to glow vibrantly.

"Can you make it glow like you did for Ryo?" She asks
"But, I am making it glow" I respond.

Mae stares at it for a moment before standing up, walking over to the lights, and turning them off. The closed blinds make it seem like dusk had fallen over the room.

If it wasn't for the miniature sun I was holding in my hand, I would have problem seeing anything in the room. Yet, the card continued to shine, and illuminate the small office with a rich, golden aura.

Mae turns the lights back on, before she sits back in her chair.
"Is that as bright as it gets? It looked kind of like you were holding a very tiny, very dim lightbulb."
I'm really confused now, "The entire room was illuminated for me."

She looks skeptical, "What makes that card so different from the card I'm holding?"
"You mean, besides the big black marking on the front of it?"

She fumbles with the card, looking at it intently. Before slowly replying,

"What 'big black marking'?"

Now it's time to worry, am I seeing things? Is this really happening? Is there something wrong with my eyes that is making me see things like cards and visions? I haven't exactly been having very restful sleep lately, so it may have something to do with that.

Maeda looks equally frustrated, she tosses the card back over to me before cupping her hands to her forehead.

"My understanding on how this all works is pretty much shattered at this point." She looks up at me, "I really wish I had met you back when the attacks first started, maybe now I would understand how it all works."

>Comfort her
>Ask something about this
>Change the subject
>Like maybe to who is going to walk me home
>Maybe Aiko should walk me home
>Maybe Mae should
>Maybe both of them should! Calm relaxing walking!

>>33368844
>>Comfort her
>>Change the subject
>>Like maybe to who is going to walk me home
>>Maybe both of them should! Calm relaxing walking!

Welcome to my world.

>>33368844
>Change the subject
>Like maybe to who is going to walk me home
>Maybe both of them should! Calm relaxing walking!

She can ask Mom some questions. She can probably explain better than we can.

>>33368844
>My Mom knows a looooot about these cards.
>Maybe both of them should! Calm relaxing walking!

>>33368844
>>Comfort her
>>Change the subject
>>Like maybe to who is going to walk me home
>>Maybe both of them should! Calm relaxing walking!
Lets show off our new friends to mom. Hopefully they wont blast her with too many questions.

>>33368844
How does this shatter your understanding? Isn't magic all weird and unique?

She does know Fortune built a company around studying these things, right? Did we mention that? We should mention that.

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>Comfort her
>Change subject
>LET'S ALL WALK HOME TOGETHER!

Writing

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She looks miserable, I should say SOMETHING to make her feel better about all this.

"Mae, really, it's okay, I don't know anything about this myself, and I can apparently use them somehow!"

This doesn't make her feel any better.

Aiko enters the room with an ice pack held in hand.
"Okay Masami, we can go now. Sorry for bothering you when I know you're busy with after-school stuff, Mae"
"Yeah, yeah" she replies.

Then Mae looks at Aiko, "There's a card over on the table near Masami, can you see it?"
Aiko gives a confused look before responding, "You mean the card she's holding?"

She doesn't see the black marked card that's still on the table near me. I pick it up and show it to her.
"OH! That card! I didn't know what you were talking about for a moment, Mae." She happily responds.

Mae looks back down at the table. I need to do something about this,
"Oh, Mae, maybe you should walk home with me, a nice walk would make you forget all about this, and you might get to see my mother!"
Maeda looks up, "Can I? really?"

"Of course! Besides, she's probably kind of worried where I'm at, so seeing that I'm with friends would probably make her feel better."

Mae looks absolutely thrilled, quickly standing up and grabbing Aiko's hand.

"Let's go Aiko!" she happily chirps as Aiko is nearly dragged out of the room.

And with that, we take off back for home.

>>33369349
[1/?]

>>33369349
Aiko has graduated to double picture status.

Wow, Mae had a quick turnaround from being depressed. Does seeing someone who works at Fortune really excite her that much? She should be more wary, like Masami.

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>>33369349
We start out on the streets away from the school, slowly walking around the bend, before coming to the corner that the monster was first beaten at. It's hard to imagine just how afraid I was this morning while I have two people here with me.

I want to say to myself that leading him to this corner was intentional, but even I know it's a terrible lie.

We go past the corner of the block, the big glass house still shining in the afternoon light. I do have a question about that,
"Who lives in that house?" I ask
"That's my house!" Aiko happily responds
"Most of the houses around here have been owned by the same few families for a very long time. Most of them send their kids to the same schools in the area. Most of us live around here." Maeda replies.

Maybe that's why so many magic people go to the same school.

>Ask anything while you walk?

>>33369756
Not really

Carry on!

>>33369756
"Wow, I guess everyone here has been friends for a long time, then! Right?"

>>33369756
Aren't you worried about meeting someone who works for Fortune? I know I would be, in your situation.

>>33369756
Can't think of any for them right now.

>>33369858
Oh, and why don't their parents help protect them from the soldiers? It's weird that they've been left to fend for themselves.

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"Wow, I guess everyone around here has known each other for a very long time."
Aiko agrees, "Yup! Most of the students at school are childhood friends, it's actually very rare to have a transfer student. Which is why we set up the tour and everything for you."

"If everyone knows everyone else, why don't your parents help with the soldier problem?"

Mae and Aiko stop, Mae sounds a little cold in her response

"We" She hesitates for a minute, before changing her tone slightly.
"I'd rather not talk about that. Short answer is that there really isn't anything they can do about it anyway" Mae says, looking down at her feet.

Wow. I hope Mom isn't the same way when I tell her about it.
This reminds me of something, Mae seems awfully eager to meet someone from the people who seem to be her arch-rivals. Especially from a family that just recently moved into the neighborhood that she knows nothing about, so-
"Hold up, Mae, aren't you worried about meeting someone from Fortune? That's why you want to meet my mother, right?" I ask

"Oh" Mae says, slowing down her renewed pace some
"Ryo told me about that, but I kind of forgot, I really just wanted to meet your mother."

Great, now I feel like a jerk.

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>>33370235
Aiko notices the depressed mood and changes the subject
"Mae, are you able to come by later to help with the night students?" Aiko asks, trying to stay balanced on the edge of the sidewalk
The night students?
"Oh, yeah, I did promise them I would. I need to finish club recruitment and then I can walk them to school."

"What are 'night students'?" I ask, I think I already know the answer but I want to be sure.
"We have some students who can't come to the school during the day for one reason or another." Mae says, "So they attend cram courses at night, they're pretty hectic and the students sometimes need tutors, but it's possible, there's someone in the student council who is a night student."
Aiko nearly slips and falls, but catches herself at the last minute,
"mm, I need to go pick her up later, I hear she's been having problems getting out of bed lately."

That sounds serious. I want to ask what is wrong with her, but I think I may have soured the mood enough already.

Suddenly, I spot someone walking the opposite direction down the sidewalk after turning a corner. She's a tall woman, sporting long, black hair, and are wearing a sundress. Also, she looks completely upset with something, a very obvious frown on her face.

Now she's running right at me.
Now she has her arms around me, and is sobbing.

"HONEY, I tried to call you to find out where you were but I noticed you left your phone in the kitchen and then I got worried because you didn't come home in time so I came out to look for you but... but.."

I can see Aiko and Maeda standing back with big grins on their faces.

Moooooooom, Please
Stop

You're embarrassing me in front of my friends.

Her affection grip only tightens further, and she's sobbing a little bit more.

No.. Mom...
Not now.

>>33370235
Yes, Masami. You are the jerk for warning a friend of a possible danger.

>>33370302
Hnnng.

>>33370302
Adorable

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>>33370302
Okay, I think I'll call it a night here

Stay tuned on my twitter, and I'm sorry for the sporadic run times. I'm hoping they will clear up within the next week and I can start having solid running days when I start making a schedule.

Next thread is hopefully tomorrow on the 13th of July. Start time is TBD. Updates on the quest can be found at

http://twitter.com/QM_CardHeart

Q&A until I go to bed, but first, I have a question for you:

How was it, and how can I improve?

>>33370369
I think it went pretty well, thanks for running.

>>33370369
at least we go to the magical girl part, doing pretty well so far.

I'm actually having a hard time differentiation the characters we meet though. They kinda blend. A character list might help.

>>33370425
I was thinking I should make a pastebin actually

I'll HAVE to do this once we start collecting and naming cards, otherwise it would be impossible to keep track of them all and what we've decided each one can do.

Also, I've found that some of the characters don't have their own unique 'voice' yet, it's hard to really explain, but the end result is that some of the characters sound and react the same. When I start to flesh them out some more in-quest, they will hopefully take on a more distinguishable tone.

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>>33370369
Thanks for running. Today was a bit heavy on the any questions for the girls, but understandable since we are still learning how the world works.

>>33370369
I'm having fun. Masami's internal monologue is great, the situation she finds herself in is intriguing, and the other characters seem somewhat distinct.

It'd be nice if you could get better descriptions, but I don't really care. Just don't do anything like forgetting the describe the echo effect in the courts again. That interrogation scene would have been way cooler if you'd remembered it was supposed to sound super loud.

Also, different outfits for every card pls.

>>33370507
Ah, understood, I did kind of drag my heels on the flavor text, I should have been a bit more brief.

Also, archived!

>>33370369
Fun to read, choices seem a bit limited but that just be my perception due to not being able to participate until the very end.

I look forward to the next one!

>>33370468
Character pastebin or whatever might be good.

>>33370369
I'd say it went pretty well, the fawning over our costume was excellent and the rest of the thread was enjoyable.

Really my only complaint so far is one that isn't related to the threads or anything. It's that you seem to feel like you need advanced notice for a thread. I mean it helps, but if you can't manage one it's still fine to run.
Really I just want you to run more, I'm enjoying it a lot.

>>33370545
>Really I just want you to run more, I'm enjoying it a lot.
Thiiiiiis.

Pacing is 2slow to not run every time have have the ability and desire to.

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>>33370468
As a walking magical girl encyclopedia, I think you're doing okay (except for maybe pacing but that's a personal preference thing)

I do think it's going to be interesting, seeing the varying approaches to magic and how it works (Ryo and Mae vs. Us vs. Kaori vs. Ken)
I am very much a sucker for the costume roulette aspect you have here. (Pic...kinda related?)

The only thing I could ask for is either longer sessions or more updates, but you're probably doing what you can.

>>33370518
>It'd be nice if you could get better descriptions, but I don't really care. Just don't do anything like forgetting the describe the echo effect in the courts again. That interrogation scene would have been way cooler if you'd remembered it was supposed to sound super loud.

I'll keep that in mind, that entire monologue dump was kind of a mess, in hindsight.

But, the show must go on. I'll try to learn from it in the future.

>>33370545
>Really my only complaint so far is one that isn't related to the threads or anything. It's that you seem to feel like you need advanced notice for a thread. I mean it helps, but if you can't manage one it's still fine to run.

The problem I have is that for the last week, I've had terrible luck regarding people wanting my attention/presence at the most random of times. So I try to give advance warning because I know other people have the same problem and I haven't really established a pattern of running threads just yet.

When I fix that pattern, and find a consistent schedule to run at, then I can start doing things like inserting bonus threads when I know that I'll have a schedule to maintain anyway.

>>33370576
I would run every day if I could!

I do need to pick up the pacing a bit. I've noticed that I needed to pick it up since Thread 4 when I realized I was 4 threads in and hadn't even shown a Magical girl yet.

>>33370581

Thanks!

>>33370666
>I do need to pick up the pacing a bit.
I'm liking all these chances to ask questions and talk, but it seems like nobody else has questions so that's probably for the best.

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Now, one more question from me to you

I know my pacing needs work, I tend to linger in places too long spouting too much dialogue, but what would be a comfortable pace for you?

If I upped the pace, would it be acceptable to have a day per thread, or should I try to categorize each update into 'episodes', like it was an actual magical girl show? Which kind of glazes over the details of school life and focuses more on the characters, maybe even omitting full days?

>>33370821
I think skipping over the school days nothing happens would be better. This first day was fine since it was new, but I came here for a magical girl quest, not a slice of life schoolgirl quest.

>>33370821
It's less the pace of the plot and more the pace of the thread. it was over 30 minutes from the OP post to the first response, and almost 15 minutes from part 1 to part 2. And another 30 minutes until the next post, with 15 minutes between part 1 and part 2.

Maybe it's me, but it might be better to pre-write some of the stuff, or at least have everything written when you make your post so it's all just there to be posted right one after another.

Hope that helps

>>33370821
I like things as they are, like I said >>33370818

Later on, when we're established, I'd be okay with timeskipping more than the classes, but right now we're still feeling out relationships and I'm a sucker for that stuff.

>>33370884
Ah! That is what you meant!

One thing I've been wanting to do more of was have a hard limit as to how many descriptors or dialogue exchanges that happen per-post. Which would hopefully result in shorter, but frequent, sporadic posts that flow from one post to the next.

Major scenery switches would be much longer posts describing the atmosphere of where we swapped to unless it's a familiar place.

Next step after that would be to work on my dialogue exchanges because I feel I bury myself in flavor text describing mannerisms when I really just need to get to the point at times.

>>33370995
The dialogue is great. It just seems like you end up spending 15 minutes on each post, instead of writing for 30 minutes and posting parts 1 and 2 right next to each other - the latter just has a bit better flow to it from a reader's perspective.

>>33370995
> I feel I bury myself in flavor text describing mannerisms when I really just need to get to the point at times.
What, stuff like
>Aiko nearly slips and falls, but catches herself at the last minute,
? I like that stuff. Talking head dialogue is Bad.

>>33371020
> It just seems like you end up spending 15 minutes on each post, instead of writing for 30 minutes and posting parts 1 and 2 right next to each other - the latter just has a bit better flow to it from a reader's perspective.

Ooh, I see what you mean

Good tips! I'll try this in the future.

>>33371035
Not that in particular, but I noticed some of my early dialogue was part talking and part describing how a character has changed position. Which I think buries itself in the specifics.

I think I'm getting better with it, overall.

You have characters chirp too much.