>>33341059
Solution: run an Adamantium Chef campaign.

>>33341059
>Is there such a thing as a cooking RPG?
If there isn't there needs to be one. I demand an Iron Chef (possibly in fantasy/spaaace/whatever) RPG.

>>33341059
Respect the creativity and outside tactics of the group.
They are holding their own so far, so keep doing whatever you are doing.
However, you MUST create a kitchen stadium as their legend grows, where the greatest fiendish chef, Aku, prepares to cast down these foolish upstart chefs from toppling his perfect evil cooking empire.

Put them up against ancient war chefs from across the world, masters of their craft and keepers of forbidden food knowledge.

>>33341090
>>33341093
>>33341116
>Iron Chef mind

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>>33341123
>war chefs

If there's some kind of Toriko rpg out there somewhere, I think my group would appreciate having their usual tactics legitimized.

>>33341059

>>33341090
>>33341093
>>33341116
Are all correct. If you don't object to it and are willing to go with it give them subtle hooks and slowly turn in it into Chef Quest.

If you object to it then let your players know you'd like more realistic solutions than trying to bake their problems away and talk to them about how they'd like to proceed.

>>33341161
Fund it OP, let them become the greatest chefs in the land, then countless people will come to challenge them to a cook off.
In the middle of the woods? Cook off!
In the darkest dungeon? Cook off!
Fighting a dragon? Cook off for the dragons gold!

Fund it, OP.

>>33341252
If they're happy baking their way to victory, I don't want to stifle them. I'm just happy they're enjoying themselves, but I also feel like they'd have a lot of fun with a game where their preferred method of doing things is just the way things get done.

>>33341355
Make them the avant garde force of the setting then. You're down and think they will have fun with it, let them craft a world where by their sheer pluckitude they convinced people that settling their differences via cooking is amazing.

>King throwing party
>PCs show up an cater
>Best food king has ever had, loving party
>Top noble starts throwing shit, questioning the kings legitimacy to the throne because grandma was a peasant
>King is embarrassed looking for champion
>Adventurers come up with dish simultaneously deriding top nobles recent sexual scandal with a merwoman and kings glorious conquest of the East
>Its called Fish a la Sand or something
>King is taken away
>Peasant thinks chef are pretty cool
>Quest slowly becomes Admantium Chef

I am just saying shit but you get what I mean.

>>33341059
Put in a BBEG version of Gordon Ramsay

Journey to the Elemental Plane of Breakfast

>>33341059
That sounds awesome actually. Your party have become anti-murderhobos, where instead if murdering everything that moves they give them all muffins.

10/10 group would play with. And yes, you should a sort of iron chef showdown for them.

>>33341584
This.

OP do this.

>>33341332

You could have a wandering Bobby Flay NPC challenge them to a cook off at the most inopportune times!

Is there a Fighting Foodons game?

Threads like this is why i love /tg/

never change guys.

>>33342148
>Fighting Foodons

You son of a bitch. You made me remember that that existed.

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>>33341584

As the first of the party sets foot on the bridge, you feel the supports give. You manage to step back just as the bridge plummets into the gorge. An ominous wind howls through the gorge, a sound that is swiftly drowned out by the booming voice behind you.

"I've been waiting for you, warriors!"

You whirl round, coming face to face with a bronzed, rugged wild man, dressed in naught but a tiger skin, with a large rolled tarp on his back.

"You don't recognize me, but I've searched many a day for you. Do you remember the chef of the iron ladle?" the burly man asks. He pulls a large iron ladle, twice the size of a greatsword, from his tarp. "He was my master."

The bronzed man unfurls the tarp, revealing a full iron-cast cooking set complete with lit coal stove. "Show me the power that felled my master!" he bellows. "I challenge you to a cook-off!"

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>>33342430
I JUST GOT FULL ON CHILLS READING THAT SHIT

WHAT IS THIS

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Adventurer's, please open your baskets.

Your dish must include the following ingredients:

Dwarven Stout

Minotaur cube steak

Mindflayer Tentacles

And...

A gelatinous cube

You have thirty minutes to prepare your dishes.

>>33342430
>he WAS my master

Wait. Did he kill himself after losing the cook-off?

Tournament arc when?

>>33342454
Worse, he retired

>>33342452
Dwarven stout battered onion rings.
Rare minotur steak, little bit of gravy using some stout.
Honey roasted tentacles.
The cube asked nicely to move the food around, making it look "alive".

Stealing this idea.

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Champloo approves of this thread.

>>33342115
>Robert the Mind Flayer

>>33342625

>not killing the Cube and using its liquefied corpse as the base in the sauce for your steak

Do you even Cook, bro? Your way doesn't even TRY to "transform" the ingredient, and arguably makes it inedible since the Cube wouldn't let the judges get at the food inside.

>>33342748
Might be a good way to get rid of the judges, if they can be tricked into entering the Cube themselves

You guys should watch the film Bushido Man.

>>33342430
You find extra drinks waiting for you when you reach the bar. Behind them sits an elderly gnome, who only manages to see over the table thanks to a large velvet pillow. He twirls his peppered gray handlebar moustache and mumbles to himself.

"Hm, hm, hm. So you are the ones that defeated the chef of the iron ladle, and his uncultured apprentice." He chuckles, a gravelly sounds more akin to a pepper grinder than laughter. "I'm not surprised. They were weak. That man and his apprentice believed that good dishes were pure, untainted. They did not understand the overwhelming power that spice contained. Those uncultured palates could never handle true flavor."

The gnome takes a deep breath and blows, and pepper flows over the table, obscuring it, blinding your eyes. When the pepper settles, a large golden cookpot sits in the center of the table, surrounded by all manner of shakers, grinders, baggies and beakers. The gnome leaps to the top of the cookpot and shouts to you.

"I, the Sultan of Spice, shall not fall so easily! I shall show you the true power that spice contains! The power to dominate, to subjugate a dish! Prepare to be overwhelmed by the power of spicery!"

While i think its cool wayto go about their heroing/adventuring why not put them up against things that dont eat food.
Undead of most types
Immortals that dont eat, like dragons.(though dragons are know to eat for the pleasure)
Creatures that eat rock and minerals
Wild animal spirts mad at them for eating animals.

Alternately make the dietary requirments hard to achive, the ingrediants rare, or the technique obscure.

>>33342962
"CAN YOU PLEASE THE PALATE OF ROGNAR THE REPUGNANT?"

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>>33342934

OP, go the Toriko way. Make a quest where they get arrested and punished to death by the king, unless they can prepare the most exotic dish ever. The PCs can decide what they can prepare (stuff like centaur beef with myconid sauce, gelatinous cube jelly, etc), and they should hunt those in dungeons.

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>>33343006
>World-conquering psychopath can only be appeased by a certain common pastry
>every bakery is sold out

>>33343036
At the very least, monster loot should largely consist of cooking components.

Maybe have a band of kobolds drop a battered wok or something, to push them into shaking their recipes up a little

>>33341926
>muffinhobos

>>33341059
oddly enough, a few months ago I made an elven rogue who would hunt down the most exotic beasts he could fin and cook them. seems like he would fit right into your group

>>33343366
Follow up with a castle full of ninja goblins that hold the secrets of Eastern cuisine.

I would love to hear the arguments from players as they cook together and decide what ingredients to use.

"DANMIT Player1! We can't use the Lemongrass in our lobster!"
"Why not?"
"BECAUSE LEMONGRASS IS A STIMULATE AND WON'T MIX WITH THE GINGER!"
"Wait! Player2, I think he's on to something, what if we throw in the garlic!"
"WHAT?/WHA?"
"YES! I see, DM, I roll to chop the garlic, I want to cut it so it's as small as possible! Thankfully, I put points in knife skills!"
"Oh I GET IT NOW! We'll use the Lemongrass to flavor the Garlic! WHICH IS A COUNTERBALANCE TO THE GINGER!"

>>33342888

>get rid of the judges

. . . To what end? If you DON'T get rid of them, you might well manage to win that Large Cash Prize. Don't you think your skills are up to snuff, Anon?

>>33342934
You wake to find yourselves not in the inn room you rented last night, but rather inside a hanging cage, high above the ground. A deep chill permeates the thin air, and a quick glance tells you you've somehow been transported to the nearby mountains while you slept. Under you sits a thin rock disk, balanced perfectly on the mountain top. In the center of that disk an old man sits cross legged, fingers pinching the air like it were fine spice, beard hanging down over the disk and off the mountain top. The old man grunts and turns to you.

"So you are awake. Word reached me that you defeated both the Chef of the Iron Ladle and the Sultan of Spice, so I had you brought here. I fear that you may have been..tainted..by their beliefs." The rock disc begins to spin slightly from the force of the man's words. "You see.. they both thought they knew true power. The simple essentials that make or break a dish. They thought their way was the true way," the old man sighs, "but I know better."

The old man stands, whirling round, his beard rapping around the cage with the force of his spin. "The true essence of a dish," the old man shouts as he tears your cage apart, sending you all falling onto the spinning stone disk, "is balance!" He leaps back as the disk tilts, landing perfectly on the edge and standing on his toes, balancing out your weight with his own. In his hands are a perfectly arranged, perfectly symmetrical dish of sushi and rice.

"Yes," he laughs! "Perfect proportions are the secret! And perfect proportions shall be your downfall!" He pulls out several stone dishes, perfectly balanced on his head and fingertips. "I challenge you to a cook-off!"

>>33341059
Hey, if that's what they like, roll with it.
Sometimes you just stumble into things people like.

I ended up running a game of music tours, money issues, and song writing the same way.
I thought it was easy to get them together as a band for that game, and they really took to having concerts and touring. Other things I planned for the campaign became more of a sideline.

>>33342430
>>33342934
>>33343960

You. You are a beautiful person. I seriously need to steal some of this.

Are you sure you're not just being a raving aspie and not getting an obvious running gag with the party?

But, can they master true barbecue? The kind where you spend hours upon hours perfecting the meat until it becomes so tender that you can drop a knife through it?

>>33343472
Better yet, don't go around rolling for that shit, take it a step up, and actually make those dishes IRL. You'll have your group preparing exquisite meals for you before they even know it.

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Question, why doesn't /tg/ get together and get shit done? This seems like it could be made into a pretty easy system. Skills into various cooking&management+misc-related skills. Roll d100's, hit somewhere in the range of it.

Say you have a 20 for knife tricks. You're doing some Hibachi cooking, and you're a diligent apprentice. You roll a d100, with 60 being the DC for a shrimp flip. You roll a 40, and since it's within 20 points of 60, you succeed. Of course, the closer you are to hitting the target, the better. Say you roll a 50 instead, target still being 60. You not only succeed at the skill challenge, but you get like +1 performance points, wowing the audience.

You could run it competition style, where players do multiple tricks to wow an audience. You could run it with players trying to amaze some judges. You could easily run a scenario where the players are running a restaurant and they have to deal with all sorts of wacky and magical customers and events and become the best 5star restaurant in town.

I dig it.

>>33345527
OOOOOH!

Make the single players earn money by tips. Have them have to buy ingredients off of a "limited" random daily list or something, along with upgrading their kichenware and equips. Maybe throw some magical spatulas or something in there. The more exotic the dishes, the higher the DC and the higher level cook they have to be. That and they have to make them taste good, otherwise no customers. The more they wow and the better the food, the more money they make.

>>33341513
This seems like how yugioh came about, but with food instead of children's card games.
>>33341584
YES.

>>33341584
>Lich Gordon Ramsay expy.
>Wears chef hat welded from solid iron
>No longer has sense of taste or smell, cares only about mastery of the technique.
>Uses dark magic to 'BAM' dishes into existence in a puff of spice.
>Civilizations have risen and fallen because of his dishes
>People form lines that cross country borders, just to try a sample of his cooking.
>PC's parents were killed because of this.
>Trampled by impatient orcs.
>PC has vowed revenge
>A defeat in battle would be meaningless; Lich Ramsey is eternal.
>PC determines to defeat Lich Ramsey through the only thing the lich values; by surpassing his technique.

>>33347162
>>33343960
>>33343472
>>33342934
>adding /ck/ to the list of boards I no longer need because of /tg/

Love you guys.

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> cmd+f
> no "gorgon ramses"

Somewhat old piece of writefaggotry. A blind medusa that got rescued by a knight, and wanted to meet the knight again to propose her love. Unfamiliar with how human society or love works, she based her work on the phrase "the best way to a man's heart is through his stomach", and decided to become the best cook ever in order to get famous and lure him back to her.

>>33348708
That is mad cute waifu oty all y

>>33348708
Please tell me her dishes completely fail at being presentable due to her inability to see her plating, yet taste amazing once given a chance.

>>33348944
So she's a Mexican chef?

>>33348708
You do realize it isn't the eyes that kill you, it's the fact Medusa and the Gorgons were so fucking ugly that turning to stone was better than having to keep looking at them, right?
Of course you don't, no-one reads the old myths.

>>33349044
Everyone knows that, but nobody cares as that hasn't been how it works for a long time.

Just like how nobody treats vampires as coffin-zombies.

>>33349099
Why not? Much sadder that way. Not the vampires, but the gorgons.

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>>33342430
>>33342934
>>33343960
I love it.

>>33349044
It's not that nobody knows that, it's that nobody really cares

>>33349044
That's a matter of opinion, considering the only way to find out what turns you to stone is to look at them.

>>33349044
yes anon, and medusas didnt cook, but of course you ignore that because you wanted to bring a useless piece of trivia.

>>33349214
Argh. Another petty annoyance. Medusa was a person, Gorgons were Medusa and her sisters.
And why don't I get a free Pegasus every time I kill one?

>>33348944
She might be able to set it up nice if she can see through the snakes... though snakes have pretty poor eyesight.

>>33349260
It's more adorable if her cooking is an allegory for her own insecurity about being a monstergirl who loves a virtuous knight

>>33349317
A virtous knight would slay this demon with complete and utter prejudice.

>>33349338
We clearly have differing definitions of virtue then.

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>After navigating through the treacherous grease pits, and defeating the mighty Bovine Smashing Ogre, you finally reach the deepest pit of the mad king's lair. Inside you find a harem of women, chained to the walls and covered in ketchup, mustard, and cheese. The Mad King greets you with a smile and invites you to join his whopper orgy. You decline, you aren't interested in sex, only justice. "Have it your way," the mad king replies as he releases his gaggle of deep-fried succubi and raises his mighty Spatula Claymore.
Roll for initiative /tg/.

Rolled 11

>>33349704
rollin

>>33349256
because you're not a greek hero.
You're in some medieval chivalric kind of deal.

Rolled 11

>>33349704
Sure let's light it up.

>>33342888
>>33342748
>>33342625
>not having the gelatinous cube partially digest some of the more toxic ingredients and make them safe for consumption
>not having the gelatinous cube as a pretty good mixer and food processor

I mean come on guys!

Rolled 15

>>33349704
Assuming d20 system

Rolled 4

>>33349704
Rolling. I ready my grater.

Rolled 13

>>33349704
>>33351128
So whats our inventory?

bumb for moar cooking

Awesumm

Cookin master boi..

>>33341059
Archive this shit. Such a good damn good thread.

I clicked on the thread because of the picture. I stayed because of the content.

Stay classy, /tg/

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>>33341059
This reminds me of a character I made ages ago. Boris, the aspiring War-chef. He traveled the lands searching for the rarest and finest ingredients for his restaurant. We ended up killing a tarrasque and he turned it into the greatest (and most expensive) steak on the plane.

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Yeah, I think by this point it's clear no one sees your problem, OP. Embrace the cooking duels.

>>33341059
If you don't really have an issue with this, embrace it. I can assure you this is much more amusing than a group that ALWAYS go with the "kick the door, kick their faces" plan.

If you don't really like it, talk to them, simply. Or if you want to be a dick / don't want to confront them: undeads.

Surprised this thread is still up.

I feel like it would be to my benefit to try and put together some kind of "combat" system for cook-offs. It doesn't really matter what system it ends up being for, and it could even be completely modular and system-agnostic, but my core preferences are towards d20, or d10 a la White Wolf.

Something I like in a lot of games is a risk/reward mechanic that increases with the complexity of the resource used. In the case of cooking, the higher the quality of the ingredient or tool, the higher the amount of skill necessary to avoid screwing up. A higher-quality ingredient or tool would result in better food, but insufficient skill risks wasting the ingredient or damaging the tool, which would require resources (time, money, manpower, etc...) to replace.

>>33355577
Also, part of what I'd like to do would involve a kind of complexity system. Like, the more important or check-worthy steps necessary for completing the dish, the higher the skill necessary to avoid a screw-up. This chance of failure could be mitigated by dividing the workload across the party. At every point, a check would be made by the party member doing that step of preparation. Once all of the prep-checks have been made, whoever's "in-charge" would make a final check with bonuses or penalties based on how well or poorly the rest of the party did during preparation. The result of the final check would determine the quality of the dish.

All of this sounds good to me just going over it, but it's as rough and abstract as things tend to be in the early stages and still needs a ton of polish and sharpening.

ITT: /tg/ and OP work together to devise a cook-off mechanic/system?

What about this? Ingredients have compatibility ratings, and players get to improv with the ingredients they have. The closer two separate ingredients are to each other when it comes to compatibility ratings, the higher the chance of cooking being succesfull.

Another idea would be to add a bonus if players follow a receipe, as opposed to winging the meal.

>>33349704
> "Have it your way,"
I chuckled.

>>33342364
Beautiful

>>33355722
I like the idea of compatibility ratings. I'd also like to think that a sufficiently skilled or creative cook could use ingredients that don't normally work well together into a dish with a deep and unique flavor. Of course, screwing up on this would result in food that's completely inedible.

I'd like to think there would also be a long-term mechanic for creating your own recipes. Like, you get a stacking bonus if it's something you've made before, and it can eventually be codified into a recipe.

>>33355652
You could always use the current system and describe it in relation to food.

Player: I attack the gnome with my broadsword. 18.

DM: Utilizing the swordstir techniques of your people, you stir the stew in a helix shape, evenly mixing it throughout, creating a whirlpool that flows above the pot yet still manages to not spill a drop. The Sultan of Spice's jaw drops. "The swordstir techniques of the sunny-side clan! I thought they were all wiped out!"

Player: To a man. I am that man, and I shall not fall this day!

DM: *rolls attack* The sultan of spice throws a dash of pepper, but it's blasted aside by the force of the whirlpool. The Sultan of Spice looks shaken. "Impossible! My spice cannot penetrate his technique!"

>>33349044
>Look how smart I am guys
No, you're wrong, gorgons turn you to stone with their eyes now, because shit changes over time, and now the accepted myth is eyes=stone

>>33354983
I was just thinking how she'd be a perfect fit for this type of thing. Damn.

>>33346618
why did I laugh at this?

>>33355577
What system are you using?

I'd suggest for a White Wolf Dice Pool system, that rare ingredients give a certain number of dice (decide how many when they grab the things) and lose dice for improper handling (have them roll a relevant int+skill check, with successes being how many they can keep) and just let the players fluff that however they want.

For d20, use CR for bonuses to deliciousness, with knowledge checks to keep from fucking up (or just d20 + int, DC 15+CR)

The idea is that these should be easily added things that take one or two rolls to make it seem fabulous.

Oh, and let them keep results for recipes, so if they make Dragon Flank Steak once, and get 14 successes, the next time, they don't have to roll.

>>33356076
You could also use a 40k rpg-like system of class progression.

Leader of the troupe? Sounds like the Head Chef class to me. Bonus to expediting/plating and recipe generation, and has the Command special skill.

Dessert challenge? Sounds like you need a certified Patisserie. Or you could go the other way and find a warlock versed in the mysteries of Molecular Gastronomy.

>>33356239
No they don't. The myths never changed. People's on take on them did.

>>33356489
I'd say require rolls on old recipes for stuff like correctly cooking the steak, using the right amount of spice, and then giving them a bonus is if they get any extraordinary successes

I had my players go up against Orcish Gordon Ramsay
His name was Bigtooth Ramsay, War-Chef of the Gore-Dawn Tribe.

The PCs walked into a fancy kobold diplomatic dinner, with emissaries (and the Queen!) of the Purple Teeth tribe visiting the native White Scale tribe.
Ramsay was catering this event, and in order to get to their goal, the PCs had to go through his kitchen.
They were ushered into the kitchen by the butler/doorman Rosenberry, who scolded them on being "late".

The first thing they heard was the sound of kobold tears, followed by pots being thrown across a room.
The the shouting started.
>"YOU CALL THIS FUCKING FILET OF ELF? THIS IS FUCKING DISGUSTING"
There was a meek reply as the PCs turned the corner to the kitchen:
>S-sorry, s-sir...I-I've never c-cooked l-live Elf b-b-befAAAAUUUUGGGHHH
The PCs watched as the 8 foot tall, green humanoid in a crisp white robe ripped the poor kobold in two. He tossed the broken lizardman into a pot full of soup as the other kobolds looked on in horror. Bigtooth tossed some spices into the pot, stirred it a bit, and then turned to the nearest kobold.
>Bring this to a low simmer and serve it with the dwarf au gratin OR YOU'RE NEXT.
He spun around to look at his kitchen.
>WELL? WHY THE FUCK AREN'T YOU COOKING? THE 4TH COURSE IS IN 6 BLOODY MINUTES. WHERE THE HELL IS MY BLOODY BLOOD SAUSAGE? HAVE YOU FINISHED DRAINING THE BLOODY PRISONE---
>WHERE IN THE NAME OF (Orc version of Muhammad) HAVE YOU BEEN?
He lumbered toward the PCs, who had almost snuck their way out of the kitchen
>AND WHERE THE HELL IS BRAD?
Thinking quickly, the PCs told him that they were "The Entertainment".
>We're not Brad, sir. We're bards. Easily confused.
This made Ramsay upset, so he grabbed the nearest kobold and shoved him into an oven with deathroot and doomtubers.
>GET OUT OF MY BLOODY KITCHEN.
As the PCs were leaving, one of them made a snarky remark about Kobolds not tasting good.
Ramsay broke a table.

>>33356985
>dwarf au gratin
So what's the CR for handling dwarf meat?

>>33357084
Ask your mother.

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Yakitate Japan is a good resource if you want to do baking stuff.

It's about bread baking.

There's around 70 episodes.

About baking.

It gets a bit weird.

>>33357132
Also Shokugeki no Souma. Toriko may fit into the fantasy mold better though.

>>33357132
>a bit
Looks like someone hasn't been reading the manga.

>>33357093
Fugnlol

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>>33357198

Do tell

>>33342452
Render down the cube with brown sugar and balsamic vinegar and some lime juice to create a thin, tangy syrup with a little bit of sour from the acids in the lime and cube.

Filet the tentacles after stripping the outer layer of skin off. Begin lightly frying them in a little bit of butter with a dash of salt on each.

Tenderize the minotaur steak with a good size mallet, alchemically enhanced silver, if available. Once it's a little soft, apply the syrup and put on the grill over low heat.

Once the tentacles are half-fried, I remove them from the pan to a clean metal dish, place it inside a larger metal pan, fill the pan with water so that the dish almost-floats, squeeze a little bit of lemon juice and honey onto the filets, then cover the pan and turn up the heat so that the filets finish their cooking steamed. They'll come out half-steamed-half-fried, like Gyoza.

Turn the steak regularly, applying more syrup while grilling some mushrooms and red onions, basting them with the dwarven stout.

When the veggies are done, pull the minotaur steaks off the grill, place them in a large metal bowl and douse them in the stout before lighting them on fire, finishing them as a flambe`. By then the filets should be finished. Serve them all together with a nice Elven wine, preferably a Pinot Blanco, as a counterpoint to the heavy flavors of the dish.

Seriously, give me something hard, here.

As you enter the culvert, there were sloshing noises,vermins, critters, the usual suspects of the city underbelly. One of you noticed that the mouses are congregating in the far shadow, and you saw it rise.

A gigantic, were-rat, glowing eyes in the dark and baring it fangs to you !

"FOOLISH SURFACE DWELLERS! DO YOU THINK YOUR PITIFUL, WEAK GOURMENT IS ENOUGH TO SATISFY ME?????"

You need to make him a heavenly food for vermin palate, otherwise he will keep shitting on the town's grain silos

>>33357132

Does Bread Power Armor considered "bit"?

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>>33357288
From the last chapters.
(n°230 out of 242, to be precise)

>>33357371
There's also a Manga called 'Yan Can Cook'. It's basically a fusion of Iron Chef and every Jackie Chan movie ever made.

>>33357084
I don't know, but it's tough and comes pre-beer blasted.
Just don't eat dwarf liver. That stuff is toxic to most humanoids.

>>33357394

Cooking Master Boy is the shit man, but nothing beats that cookin manga which I forgot the title,with that ojisan judge

>>33342430
>>33342934
>>33343960

You must defeat the 13 Grandmaster Chefs in order to save the world

>>33357321
Pinot Blanco with Minotaur Steak?

Your food preparation may be top-notch, but your pairings lack the most basic technique.

Surely with a dish that hearty you would pair it with a classic gnommish red, something sweet and oaky to complement the rustic flavors you present in the dish.

>>33357321
>>33357399
>Just don't eat dwarf liver. That stuff is toxic to most humanoids.
You don't get it. It is the strongest liver, therefore it would make the strongest liver pie.

>>33357430
A baker's dozen. Clever.

Sounds like you do not have a problem. Your group has a thing. Let them do the thing. Give them whatever game you feel like running, but now that you know what their thing is, you sprinkle in shit for them to do their thing with. Maybe one of the quest rewards is a secret spice, handed down by a cult, that makes any food good enough to serve to a god. Maybe the king of the next country they go to is an incorrigible gourmand who will offer services to anyone who will provide him with a unique flavor.

Basically, in the words of Lewis Black, sometimes you're supposed to go with the fuck flow.

>>33357132
ZUM ZUM CHA
ZUM ZUM CHA
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mMEqBnQOUw4

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>>33341059
Your campaign sounds awesome.

Put them up against Gastromancers who create food-based monstrosities. Breadnoughts, Pasta-Krakens, Soup-slimes!

Make them stage elaborate infiltrations and heists to sneak in their special foods. Have them concoct crazy things like steaks that enhance carnal desire so an unsuccessful noble might try, with more vigor, to father an heir to his illustrious house.

Oh! Have them go on crazy adventures to secure rare and powerful ingredients! Just imagine the kind of shit they'd do with Tarrasque meat!

>>33356489
The system is 3.5, but we've done White Wolf stuff before. My thoughts on using multi-part teamwork checks for making complicated meals were partially inspired by Hunter: The Vigil's Tactics system.

For the record, their cooking obsessions aren't just tied to conflict resolution. Whenever they stay at an inn, they're very interested in what kind of food the innkeeper is serving. Whenever they go to an upscale eatery, they care about the specifics of what alcohol they're serving. When they start cooking whatever they find during Survival checks for food, they go into great detail with regards to what they're cooking.

I kind of want to subtly guide them towards starting a business or guild in a major city so they can have their Fantasy Master Chef campaign without having to be laden down with whatever plot I might come with otherwise.

>>33357972

If they are facing BBEG, any real world cooking they made can influence the cook-off modifier

You need to be that judge in iron chef OP

I feel like this setting would make a fantastic quest.

A young protagonist setting out to become the best chef in the land. Choosing a specialty cuisine. Wacky companions. It's all there.

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>>33341059
Adding cooking elements into a game can be amusing.

Sadly I'm 99% sure this is how most of my character's attempts would end up.

>>33341116
this. a million times this

>>33341059
something fishy's going on in that pic. How come we can't see her bra strap?

>>33342364
>ongoing cold damage
>for being in a freezer
Wait, so if he saved he no longer taxes damage despite still being in the freezer indefinitely? How does that work?

Conversely, even if he gets out, he still takes cold damage forever until he saves? Even if he then falls into the frying pans and catches light?

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>>33341116
"Long ago, in a distant pan"

>>33358393
Because she's only wearing shorts and an apron.

And a hair ribbon.

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Have the players fight an eldritch monstrosity that is absolutely terrible at cooking.
Bonus points if the monstrosity looks like this.

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>>33341059
>My group has a problem, /tg/. It seems like, unless I force them into alternative conflict resolution, they try and solve every conflict with another person through cooking. Roving group of bandits? Serve them food loaded with sleep drugs. Pissed off an NPC? A muffin basket will help with that. King's throwing a party? Of course they plan on catering.

That's not a problem. This is awesome, and you need to just take the backseat here and let it happen around you.

>>33358601
No undies either? I hope those shorts don't chafe.

>>33358625
Ohmygod. It's the legendary STORYTIEM!

I absolutely love your tips you posted a while back, it's done so much for my DND 4e game (which at the moment is XCOM with Mind flayers). How have your games been?

>>33358692

Quick! Post the Bubbles image. You know the one.

>>33358555
I, aku, the shape-shifting master of baking, unleashed an unspeakable souffle! But a foolish samurai warrior-chef wielding a magic spatula stepped forth to oppose me.

Before the final blow could deflate my souffle, I tore open a portal in time, and flung him into the future, where my cooking is law! Now the fool seeks to return to the pan, to undo the souffle that is aku.

>>33358625
Storytiem! *fangirl squee*
But it's already been established that this is amazing and needs to be cookoff based.

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>>33358774
I only have Buttercup.

>>33358949
Not that one, the smiling bubbles that forever hounds storymeat.

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>>33358692
>>33358812
Well damn, thanks guys. I'm not about to hijack a thread though. We've played a few different games since the pirate campaign ended without conclusion, and now two of our group members recently moved away. I'll try to do writeups when I have the time.

This cooking thread is the best thing I've seen in a while though, and I'm definitely going to use some of these ideas. We recently ran a campaign where we did nothing but make elaborate and grandoise plans, which mapped out our progress from low-level thugs to emperors of the city. Many of these plans involved entertaining and schmoozing the nobility better than the other prominent gangs; but there weren't really rules for this, and nothing we came up with was as good as this thread.

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>>33358986
We eagerly await.

>>33358692

Can someone link the tips? I seem to have missed that thread.

>>33359151
Seconded

>>33359151
>>33358692
>>33359255
I'm not sure what tips you mean.

>>33359074
I definitely do not have time to post a story today. I kind of appreciate how much free time I used to have when I wasn't working, and could just do a writeup all day, or participate in a rap battle until the point of exhaustion.

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>>33359151
>>33359255
found it

I'd suggest if you want your players to fight more, but still nurture this beautiful culinary desire, do what other anons suggested and go the Toriko route, where monsters an enemies drop or can be harvested for ingredients. Also start introducing special cooking-related gear
>A legendary knife that slices bread as if it was cutting water. Used by a great chef from a forgotten tribe who believed cutting bread the right way showed a man's skill as a chief and not just a warrior
>An old fishing rod that has multiple lines set up in a complex system of reels, capable of pulling up multiple fish at once, or snatching up one massive fish. It is one of the inventions of a master fisherman who created many unique fishing rods
>Salt Crust Gauntlets, which are specially made gauntlets for handling food that imbues salt into the food, in the right hands, the gloves can be used to enhance the food perfectly, but an untrained hand may ruin their food with too much of a salty taste
>A strange weapon from a bygone era, a towering grater, designed in a way that it can be wielded like a shield. It's grating surface is composed of a very fine amount of crystal. It seems to be capable of shredding even stone and metal as easily as it shreds carrots and cheese.

>>33341059
Did you get really in-depth about the mechanics around cooking or something?
Making them feel it's an inegral part of the game?

>>33359404
It's fine, /tg/ just always looks forward to a Storytiem.

>>33359436

>Never use .jpg

Heh.

>>33359551
Not especially. They were the ones who started getting into in-game cooking. The team's bard was getting tired of eating trail mix and jerky every day, so he started buying cooking supplies and food during in-town downtime. Our warblade's player cooks more than the rest of us irl, so when I asked what they were trying to make, he was pretty meticulous with describing what he was doing. Once the group's ranger started opening up to the team, they started gathering their own field plants and hunting for their own meat with Survival checks, which expanded their cooking options considerably.

When the wizard and swordsage joined, they got caught up in the flow of things, so the group's mealtimes became pretty lively. Things took a strange turn when I offhandedly said something about cure potions tasting minty and the wizard suggested using a sleep potion disguised as soup to put a guard captain to sleep. Since then, their cookery has been more tightly integrated into their adventuring careers. The day they encounter a way to cast Heroes' Feast is going to be an interesting one.

>>33343502

I have a gelatinous cube. Either I get the money, or I feed production staff to it one by one.

>>33359653
>>33359705
>Heh.
>Deleting your own post to make an edit

>>33357430
You all stand in the campsite of the old man who has guided you through the blizzard. Strangely enough, the area of the campsite is completely devoid of snow, despite the howling storm around you, the warmth of the campfire radiates from many feet away.

The old man sits at a black pot atop the fire, stirring at the soup the bubbles within, and as you approach, the smell hits you. Dozens of ingredients, vegetables, meats, spices, even fruits! They are all so clear, so much that you can almost see each ingredient sitting in the pot. Your mind if brought back by the warm laughter of the elderly man

"You can see it, can't you? Thats good, it means you are the right ones" He says softly, "The chefs of this land...they have become twisted in their ways, they believe they have mastered cooking, that they have subjugated the world of food. Ha!" He laughs, slapping his knee, "Those fools have forgotten! Those brats have forgotten the purity of food!"

He lifts the ladle from the pot, the dazzling soup slowly pouring into a bowl in his other hand, "Food has a depth that rivals the oceans, it has a breadth of complexity that spans whole continents, not even the sky can surpass food in it's sheer volume of variety. Food is life, thus cooking is the art of guiding life." He lays out bowls of soup for each of you as he smiles, "Touch, taste, sight, smell, even hearing, cooking is the only art that encompasses all the senses, you know." He says with a small smirk as he rises from his stump seat, "I am but a simple old man, but all of you are the kind of people I need, to teach those fools in their kitchens the error of their ways. Eat, and I will teach you all the truth of cooking."

>>33359992
Do you really think any of the judges would be weak enough to die to a gelatinous cube? Half of them are probably pro chefs who could dice the cube up, melt it up with honey and fruits and then drizzle it over some pancakes before it even touches them.

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>>33357406
you mean Shokugeki no Soma?

>>33341059
>Is there even any such thing as a cooking rpg? If there is one, I'll run it for them just because it seems like that's what they really want

You should never run what your players "want". First of all, you will hate it. Secondly, once it starts, they will immediately decide they no longer want it.

>>33360959
You must hate fun

>>33357458
True, but the livers of adult dwarves have far too many trapped toxins for humans to digest safely.

You can only rely on the livers of very young dwarves, or "beardlings".

This is the best thread on /tg/ right now.

>>33362185
This will be the best thread on /tg/ for awhile

>>33362321
Only until someone reads
>>33361796
in the voice acting thread

>>33362406

It just happened:

http://vocaroo.com/i/s002h3ACA8Gw

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>>33362406
http://vocaroo.com/i/s002h3ACA8Gw

>>33343421
Ha, I'm doing a big game hunter in a Star Wars RPG... this is now totally his motivation. Screw studying the creatures he hunts, he just wants the freshest, most exotic animals to eat.

>>33354983
>Ukyo was best Ranma girl

>>33356135
Okay, we need to get /co/ or some other board with drawfriends on the line now too, because I want art of this!

>>33357476
>Maybe the king of the next country they go to is an incorrigible gourmand who will offer services to anyone who will provide him with a unique flavor.

Hmm... Nero Wolfe expy? Wolfe is a detective on the level of Sherlock Holmes (Or, rather, Mycroft Holmes give that he wont leave his home under any but the most dire circumstances) and is such a gourmand that he employs a live-in chef, and will spend a great deal of time arguing over how to properly prepare a meal and debate whether cooking is an art or a science. (He's also frequently described as weighing 'one seventh of a ton')

Replace detective with oracle or something of that effect, have the PCs prepare a meal to satisfy him and in return he'll reward you with information that makes the quest significantly easier.

>>33363487
So like 280-290 pounds. Not the most impressive title.

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>>33361050
Yeah, that's the clear lesson to take away from that.

>>33363646
You need to have a balance. Yes, sometimes players will go nuts, but that's what you signed up for. Unless you want to railroad them, you gotta give em some freedom. But, I agree with you a little, too much freedom will make everything go nuts.

>>33356076
Maybe having a low compatibility rating increases the difficulty to make the dish but also increases the final quality of the dish if it succeeds. Like having a Compatibility of 5 would give you a +5 on the check to make it but also subtracts 5 from the final tastiness or creativity or whatever, so sticking to tried-and-true ingredients will be low-risk but low-reward, whereas trying something more exotic will be tough but give large bonuses.

>>33363559
It could be a metric ton.

>>33357477

Because of that series, I'm still convinced that Japan's flour supply is spiked with LSD or something. Seriously, bread should not make you hallucinate that much. When you are acting like a crab thanks to crab shaped bread, that's the point where someone needs to realise that the ingredients have been spiked with something.

>>33363977
So like 310-320 pounds

>>33364290
Well, for a land that is impoverished, with all the food gained going into elaborate sauces and spices instead of, you know, food, so all the peasants are malnourished, 300 lbs is a huge, HUGE man. The weight of 3-4 peasants who starve as he feasts, one seventh of a ton!

>>33362080
>beardlings
topkek

>>33342364
>hot salt frying
What?

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>See OP's picture
>What is this smut that's up in my tee-
>Read OP's problem
>Read thread
>It's pretty great
>Contribute to it
>Leave
>Come back
>Thread is even better than before
>Storytiem declares thread best he's seen in a while
>My players' faces when next campaign is going to be delicious

>>33357394
Seriously? That was my favourite show as a kid. But it was a live-action chinese chef cooking in front of an audience. His name was Yan funnily enough.

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>>33362490
>http://vocaroo.com/i/s002h3ACA8Gw

>>p33363327
>MFW Fate has graced us.

>>33357702
So, fighting foodons? Complete with finding rare ingredients and spices to make these food-based monstrosities more powerful?

Y'know what, I have no problem with this.

>>33366587

>>33363327

>>33342148
You son of a bitch....you beat me to it.

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This has been archived... right?

>>33367794
yes. i made sure of that personally.

>>33367794
for reference http://suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/archive/33341059/

>>33357371
Oh dear god. I stopped reading after he faced off against the gettai baker in monaco. I thought that was the worst (best?) it could get.

But now.... THIS?!

>>33368183

The series becomes profoundly retarded after the Monaco Cup arc, but you really should have finished that arc.
Azuma bakes bread that literally changes history, like it causes a retcon and brings back dead characters and causes the judge's life to have been completely different.

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>>33341059
>Only two people mentioned fighting foodons.
>Noting came of it.

Jesus Christ OP, just given them all the Eidolon ability and make them mold it after their signature dish.
Roll for cooking and you've determined it's power level for that summon.

>>33349044
Well, how can you look at them through a mirror then? Mirrors do not make you less ugly.

>>33370984
Perseus used a polished shield. One can assume the image was somewhat distorted.

>>33341059
make them hunt and quest for proper ingredients.

Roc's eggs.
Powdered drake fang.
Tarrasque bacon
Slime Girl goo marinade

>>33358775
oh shit this thread, this fucking thread, I'm choking on my heath bar

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>>33370723
BEEEEFFFFSTEAK!!!

>>33343960

As you wander through the cavern system, glowing salt crystals guiding you every step of the way, blinding sunlight greets you as you enter another of the many canyons of the mountain range. This time it is different, however.

There's a thin stone walkway from the cavern entrance you crawl from, and to either side of the walkway is a near bottomless lake of sizzling, spitting, steaming, golden-brown oil. Gritting teeth from the sharp sparks of pain caused by the popping oil, you immediately get into a single-file line, and trek down the thin stone pathway.

Within moments, after a set of hazardous stepping stones, you find a large 'kitchen,' the entire thing hewn out of a large island of red stone. What's even stranger is the giant, buxom woman that stands waiting for you, cleaver in one hand and a massive, long-handled basket in the other.

"So that doddering fool, the Master of Proportionate Plating, was finally beaten huh? That makes three of the Master Chefs beaten. I suppose you're here," and here she whips around the menacing fryer's basket to point at your party, "to find the Fry-Cook Mistress?"

With that she suddenly tosses the basket high up, the tool landing in a harness on her back. She spins quickly to slap two more deep-frying baskets up, their contents flying overhead to land on towel-covered plates CLEAR on the other side of the island.

"The Chef emphasized labor. The Sultan emphasized the flavor. The Master focused on proportions. All that is good, but the thing is..." She monologues before spinning the knife in her hand, pointing it challengingly - like a duelist's rapier - at you, "is that without timing, you ruin everything! Bring your skills and senses to bear, for Lady Mathilda, the Fry-Cook Mistress, challenges you!"

>>33372357
That was pretty good. Thanks for making me laugh. And I like the name for the mountain guru.

>>33341059
bump for cooking

>>33372357
Hmm. I might give a shot at making a chef too if that's alright.

>>33373522
Go for it. I wrote the first three after being inspired by the above posts. If others are inspired to continue it, great! Perhaps we can reach the dreaded baker's dozen.

>>33373624
Cool, here we go.

You stroll through the golden fields of wheat in the sun-touched plain, brushing past the soft plants. The sky is blue, the birds are chirping, there is a light breeze cooling you off in the mid-day sun. A perfect scene of summer.

You soon pick up a scent on the breeze. The scent of cooking. As you head towards the source, the smell becomes all the more appetizing. Eventually, you come across a small orchard with plump red apples hanging from the trees.

In the middle of the orchard, you see a middle aged man in an apron lounging on a lawn chair near a oak table, drinking a cold glass full of what looks to be apple cider. Around him are a few grills and smokers.

"Howdy younguns. Names George. Some call me the master of the barbecue. Welcome to my orchard. Hope ya'll will stay for lunch." He gets up and slightly opens a smoker, letting out a plume of smoke and the smell of meat. "Hmm, this one here looks just right. Been cooking this baby since around the same time yesterday and hoo-wee, is she tender."

He carefully lifts out the meat with his tongs and places it to cool. Around the meat is a thin glaze and some sliced apples. "So I heard that some fellers have been going around challenging the other chefs to cook outs. That's all fine and dandy, but they always seem to be in such a rush. The best things take time. Patience is a virtue, ya know. With patience comes the most tender meat that you will ever have."

He takes a small knife and drops it down onto the meat. The knife passes cleanly through the meat almost as if there was nothing there. "Perfect, now take a seat and relax, no need to rush our little cook-off here."

>>33372357
As you all navigate yourselves through the thick brush, the flora seems to grow thicker and more tangling as you move. With a few more steps you all finally break through a wall of leaves to discover the tree line covered in small huts, linked by bridges and ropes.

At the base of the trees are several rows of wooden racks, with fillets of meats left out to dry. You all notice the trees form a perfect ring around a massive stone fireplace, atop it was a massive iron skillet, loaded to the brim with what appeared to be wild herbs, vegetables, and various types of meats. The smell rising from it is an intoxicating mixture of the wild, raw and pure.

As you all approach the fire place closer, a roar of some beast echoes the tree lines, and a figure comes hurtling down from the tree tops on a rope. He lands with a loud thud, skidding a bit, before coming to a halt. The dark skinned man standing before you all towers above the whole group, like a mountain of muscle with long, scraggly wild hair. The most striking thing however is the limp body of a massive bear hung over his shoulder.

"Ah, looks like the forest gods have brought me a most wonderful gift." He says, letting the bear corpse roll off his shoulder and onto the ground, "I have heard of you all, the Iron Ladle, the Spicy shrimp, that old coot of Plating, and now even that oil soaked bitch, you've made quite the names for yourselves in these lands." He says, walking over to the skittle, reaching in with his bare hand to lift out a steaming potato, he takes a large bite from it. "Hmn, well you know what all those spineless mice lacked? They lacked what true cooking it about..." He swallows the second half of the potato in one go "...and that is the raw power of nature! Everything comes from the wild, and to truly master cooking, you must immerse yourself in it!" He snatches the bear up with a big grin, "I am Sargus, the Wild God, and you will now face me!"

>>33372357
>>33373766
>>33373972
This thread just keeps being awesome. I love you /tg.

The Great Masters of the Culinary Arts- The Cooking Sages
>The Chef of the Iron Ladle
>The Sultan of Spice
>The Master of Proportion Plating
>The Fry-Cook Mistress
>The Master of the Barbecue
>The Wild God

>>33374282
The thirteenth one has to be a baker. It would fit for the bakers dozen shtick.

Your quest underway, your group travels through a dark canyon, the path ahead lighted by odd fixtures and flowery decorations. The decorations become more wild and fantastical the farther you go, until you arrive at a marvelous kitchen built into the stone of the canyon itself. The walls are covered in splashes of random colors, arranged in heiroglyphs around a strange ribbon-covered thing in a central circle. The pots, pans, and cabinets vary wildly in color and shape, as do the tables.

From the central circle, the ribbons move and rotate, and you see a figure rise from the flighty mass!

"Hmm, what delectable treats have stumbled into my lair today?" a voice says, giggling. The figure is strangely androgynous, wearing a skin-tight suit obscured by multicolored ribbons. The person's hair, too, is arranged in wild shapes and dyed in every color.

"To be here you must have bested the other chefs, hmm? The Iron Ladle, that cute little spicy man, that horrible woman with her deep fryers...all lacking in imagination."

The figure daintily steps down from its pedestal, and the colors on the wall shift and gyrate.

"Were you impressed by their quaint displays? Spice, stout flavor, soups? Pah!" it lets out a tittering laugh. "They don't know cooking like I do! They treat it like a game, where I see it as an art!"

"The only thing that matters in cooking is presentation!"

The figure raises its hands and the walls sing with color, light, and sound.

"Allow me, Jarvo the Bold, to illustrate!"

>>33374302
The scorching heat of the desert beats down on your party as you trudge through the sands. Off in the distance you see what looks like an oasis perched alongside two massive leaning rocks. As you all approach it, the sands begin to change color slowly, until the yellow grains are now a bright white. Investigating it reveals it is sugar!

A high pitched laugh pierces your ears as you walk across the sugary sands. Lounging in the middle of the oasis' is a woman with short, wild red hair, dressed in a swimsuit that almost resembles an apron.

She stands up on the doughnut themed floaty, "Well, I was wondering who would stumble on my little slice of paradise, and it seems to be the little bugs who have been causing some troubles lately." She says with another shrill laugh, "Was it fun? Battling all those ignorant mules with their foul dishes of spices and oils and boring things!"

She leaps from her floaty, lifting into the air as if she had legs of springs, and landing on the ground, "Well, allow me to treat you to a much nicer battle." She says, slamming her hand against one of the massive leaning stones, a portion of the rock popping open to reveal it to be an immense oven, "You see, the true beauty of cooking is not in some spice, some oil or some grill, it is in the amount!" She says with a confident smile, "That is why the oven and baking are the ultimate in cooking, as with a single tray you can produce dozens of treats, with a single oven you could feed a kingdom in a day!" She produces a large whisk from seemingly no where and leans it over her shoulder, "Now come, you little bugs, I, Drasorra the Sweet Empress, shall drown you in an army of delights!"

>>33374383
You arrive at the docks. The ocean winds carry the salty mists from the crashing waves. Ships and fishermen all line the old boardwalk. At the end of the dock is the ship where the next chef resides.

As you come closer, you gaze at the magnificence of the sea-worthy vessel. Grand, strong, and salty. Black flags with a skull and crossed pans flow in the wind. Soon enough, a gangplank is lowered for you to enter the ship.

Once you climb onto the deck, you see a man dressed in a well-tailored pirate suit. He has an eyepatch and a greed beard filled with years of sea salt. Around him are hot skillets and barrels of various fish.

"Arr ye mateys, so ye have finally arrived to the Luissiane. I am Captain Jacobs. Captain. Grand fisherman. Chef. I heard how ye have beaten the rest of those landlubbers who call themselves chefs. HAH! They have no real experience."

He lifts up a fish and a fine knife, and filets it within seconds before dropping it on the skillet. "The briny deeps have many a delicacy. The ocean's bounty is great and nutritious. Can you handle the strength of the tides, ye landlubbers?"

>>33374282
>>33374306
>>33374383
>The Chef of the Iron Ladle- Labor
>The Sultan of Spice- Flavor
>The Master of Proportion Plating- Proportions
>The Fry-Cook Mistress- Timing
>The Master of the Barbecue- Patience
>The Wild God- Natural ingredients
>The Bold- Presentation
>The Sweet Empress- Serving size

>>33374403
>>33374419
>Grand Fisherman- Seafood

Objectively the best board.

>The massive serpent beast shudders as it dies, laying in a heap on the ground. The hard fought battle was finally over, but as you all catch your breath, the creature's body shudders. It's belly suddenly splits open and out spills the contents of it's previous meals, and amongst them was a small, green edged knife. The knife is in fact a legendary kitchen knife, The Grass Cutting knife, which possesses an edge imbued by a harvest god. Any vegetable or fruit cut by this knife is brought to the height of its freshness, regardless of how old said ingredient is.

>>33374403
As you walk through the seedy-looking city, looking for the next chef, you end up getting lost in a series of alleyways. The grime and dirtiness makes you question what a chef would even be doing here.

Eventually you manage to escape the labyrinth and come across a run-down shack with a small garden in front. A thin, ratty-looking man comes out from behind the shack and waves at you to come inside.

After a moment of hesitation, you decide on entering. The shack itself isn't too bad, although it looks to have seen better days. There are small holes in the ceiling and the pineapple wallpaper in peeling in spots. Surely a great chef can't live here.

The ratty looking man comes back out with a series of dishes. Why, they look like the most common of foods. They look absolutely cheap compared to what you have dealt with. The man smiles at you and says "Hello chums, I am Gerry the Resourceful Streethound. I know that this doesn't look like what the other grand chefs would come up with, but give it a try."

As you take a bite of what looks to be sauce covered, packaged ramen noodles, you are surprised with the flavor of what would otherwise be a bland, unappetizing dish. "You see, the others all have their ingredients and materials ready. The moment you take that away, they become nothing. I, however, learned how to make something from nothing in this city. I had to learn to improvise. Eventually, I managed to create great meals from the most common of ingredients. Now, are you ready to put both your creativity and skill to the test?"

>>33374506
>The Chef of the Iron Ladle- Labor
>The Sultan of Spice- Flavor
>The Master of Proportion Plating- Proportions
>The Fry-Cook Mistress- Timing
>The Master of the Barbecue- Patience
>The Wild God- Natural ingredients
>The Bold- Presentation
>The Sweet Empress- Serving size
>Grand Fisherman- Seafood
>The Resourceful Streethound- Improvise

>>33374520
The One Called Alton - He Who Knows Food

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>>33341584
>>33347162
>>33342364

>>33374520
Man, if this was a show, I'd watch it.

>>33374506
Your travels have brought you once again into the depths of the earth on the hunt for culinary combat. Unlike your encounter with the Fry-Cook Mistress, the farther you all go into the caves, the chillier it becomes, however not to a degree that it becomes unbearable.

Rounding the corner, you are greeted with what appears to be mood lighting, lanterns hang from the ceiling, with a dim light that illuminates what looks almost like a bar carved out of the stone of the cave. At the far wall stands a tall, slender, mature looking man, with a long, curling black mustache, wearing a crisp white vest over his black clothing. Behind him, the stone walls are covered in bottles of spirits.

He looks up from his work, a small martini glass sitting on the stone counter, "Oh, well hello there, I was not expecting to see you all for quite some time, but early arrivals are always welcome." He says gently as he pours a clear blue alcohol into a shaker with one hand while cutting a lime with the other, shaking the drink up with a single hand, "With all those battles you have been through, it must be hard to keep track of the true meaning of cooking." He says calmly as he pours the mixture into the glass while balancing a slice of lime right in the center of the liquid, it floats perfectly upright in the murky, ocean blue alcohol.

He picks the glass up, tipping it to his lips, the lime slice never once falling over, "Those masters you fought, they are all brilliant and skilled. But they have all ignored the importance of dining. Food and drink. It was always that delicate balance. However, the truth is, food has, and will always be, second to the drink." He says, taking on a serious tone. "No meal is complete without a drink, and no drink surpasses alcohols. Even if a meal is garbage on a plate, with a fine choice of wine or spirits, it becomes heaven! I am Salvador, the Ace of Alcohols, and I shall show you the true power of drinks!"

>>33374520
All of the Sages are pretty arrogant fucks, but one of them should be a generally evil bastard, one of those really dramatic villains who goes on about "THE DARK SIDE OF COOKING" or "THE TERROR OF FOOD"

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>A ruthless cyclops lives near a tomato patch, and regularly raids the sugar refinery and salt mines.
>She uses these to create the most insidious thing a chef-adventurer can fathom: ketchup!
>Her diet consists of steak garnered by the cows she steals from the nearby villages, and she puts ketchup all over the steak!
>Horrors!
>The villagers don't know how to make her go away.
>Upon sneaking into her lair while she's out, they discover from her private writings that she is utterly dissatisfied with the steak she eats, thus she believes the only way to attain the greatest amount of savory flavor is to drown steak with ketchup.
>Finding the cyclops, the adventurers make a deal with her: they prove to her that a steak can be savory, juicy, and flavorful using proper seasonings and doesn't need to be covered up by ketchup, and she leaves the villagers in peace!

>Will they be able to grill the perfect steak?

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>>33374739
>A powerful Lich knows information the party needs
>He, however, is incredibly bitter to any humans who come knocking on his tower door
>He refuses to help in anyway, even if keeping the information secret will put the kingdom in danger
>After discovering the party are skilled chefs he offers them a deal
>Since he is an undead abomination he has no sense of taste, and either makes things completely tasteless, or way to overpowered taste wise. So if the party can make his adopted daughter something extremely delicious, he will tell them what they want to know.

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>>33374739
>After providing her with the perfect, delicious steak, she honors the deal
>Not only that, but the steak was so amazing, that she's offered to accompany the chef-adventurers in their quest as an apprentice chef and servant!

I try to fix as many problems as I can by cooking, it pisses my gm off really badly.

>>33374986
Do the other players have fun with it? If you're the only one who approves of that kind of problem solving method being used constantly, you might need to re-think things.

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You find yourself wandering down a road when suddenly, you are ambushed and surrounded by soldiers... And from their midst, a towering figure approaches you, and snaps to attention, thrusting a palm out into the air, as he grins madly.

"A BLODEL YOU BE!!!"

"NONE CAN SQUANDER THE CULLINARY ADVAAAAANCEMENTS OF THE THIRD REICH!!! WE ANALYZED THE DATA WE AQUIRED FROM OBSERVING YOUR JOOOOURNNNEEEEEYYY!!! AND INFUSED THESE PROSTHETIC ARMS WITH THEN STRENGTH THAT OVERPOWERS THEM AAAAAALLLLLL!!!"

He takes out stone, and crushes it easilly in a prosthetic hand

"Therefore Adventurers... If I use the utensils within these arms to away your hopes to a certain extent, it has been hypothesised that your existance as a chef will cease! Alike feathers plucked from a chicken, I shall tear your dreams into pieces that are each a centimeter in diameter and feed you the cold dish that is despair!"

HER ADVENTURERS!!! GAZE UPON WHAT I HAAAAVVVEEE BEEECOOOOMMMEE!!!!

*He rips open his coat, to reveal a prosthetic body, that opens up to reveal all manner of cooking implements... a body designed by a genius and a madman*

"FOR I AM NOOOOWWWW.... THE GREATEST MAGNIM OPUS OF THE THIRD REICH SCULPTED AND CRAFTED INTO A MAAAAASTERPIECE! *I* HAVE TRANSCENDED ALL OF HUMANITYYYYYYY!!!" he screams with mad glee, as more utensils fold out from his torso and arms, as his soldiers layout a portable kitchen in a matter of seconds.
>>33374713

"FOR THE PRIDE OF DAS VATERLAAAAANNNND!!! I WILL SHOW YOU THAT *UTENSILS* ARE THE HEART OF ALL COOKIIIIINNNNG!!!"

>>33375284
Silence permeates the stone pyramid. Every surface is covered with a thick layer of dust. Closer inspection reveals it to be flour, but in that inspection one of you steps on a panel that sinks deep into the floor. The base of the pyramid rumbles, and you feel the earth shift as the entire pyramid rises up out of the sand, expanding outward from its base. The top spreads open like a flower, puffing up as the central sarcophagus erupts to reveal a towering skeletal figure in a cast-iron chef hat.

The wraithlike figure speaks, a deep droning that stirs the very earth with its depths. "I am The Baker," he says, his hollow eyes staring beyond the party, off into the distance. "I was the first. Long did I knead the dough that is this battered earth. Under my whim, the oceans sprang into being, gifting the earth with a buttery glaze. It was I that sparked the sun, and set it to bake. For a long time, all was quiet. But with heat came life, and new civilization spread across my surface, turning it a deep golden brown. And now.. it is almost time."

The skeletal chef turns to the sky, reaching up, up towards the sun and twisting, tracing an arc of silvery light in the air, grasping at some hidden aspect of reality you cannot see. You feel a deadly chill settle around you as the sun itself dims. "Much has changed in my absence," he drones. "Your culture has grown strong on my surface, but make no mistake. You are but toppings. I am the crust!" He spreads his emaciated arms wide. "Now I rise!" layers of golden flaky pastry flare wide behind him forming wings, and he soars overhead, silhoetted against the sun. "Show me you are worthy of being on top," he commands, "or I shall reduce this world to dust! I shall return it to the flour from which it was borne and start anew! I, The Baker, challenge you!"

/tg/ - True Gourmet

>>33341059
iktf bro

My players keep trying to crush everyone with trees.

Plagued refugees? Crush em
Emperor walking home? Tree for that on main street
Dirigible? Spend two days estimating flight path through a valley. Roll tree off lip of valley.
River spirits harassing villagers? Spend way too long finding Greek fire, chop down too many tree in river bank. Light trees, erode bank, crush the fleeing river spirits with ewok-like precision.
Can't get into a loyalist manor with stealth? Get some guys together and when they're in the basement/bunker quickly saw down surrounding trees to crush said manor.

All of this great writefagging is making me want to go full Diners and Delicatessens. I'm so glad I started this thread. Never change, /tg/

>The Titan's Wok
A massive wok that takes nigh-on herculean effort to lift, the wok is covered in runes of heat control. With just a word of the wielder, the runes will activate and heat it up. Each rune requires it's own activation, so it leads to precise temperature control for all woks of cooking. As well, serves as an undentable, unbreakable bludgeon.

>The Spicemaster's Mortar
An enchanted mortar and pestle that allows the chef to crush together any mixture of spices and herbs, and the final creation will always be divine. As well, if one knows the words, the mortar can grow large enough to hold a party of five and is capable of flight.

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>>33376383
This absolutely needs to be a thing. Why in the hell did I JUST start a campaign?! I want to run this now! A setting where baseline heroes are kind of weedy, by the standards of the things they hunt, so the delicacies they consume are what allow them to hunt bigger and badder monsters and delve deeper for greater delicacies!

A cross between Monster Hunter and Toriko... Fuckit. Anyone have any ideas on how to tell a group that's hyped for your latest game that you want to switch after only one session? I can't let something like this lie.

Or maybe I can and plan it... YES! /tg/ I LOVE you guys!

>>33374690
>>33375284
>>33375320
>The Chef of the Iron Ladle- Labor
>The Sultan of Spice- Flavor
>The Master of Proportion Plating- Proportions
>The Fry-Cook Mistress- Timing
>The Master of the Barbecue- Patience
>The Wild God- Natural ingredients
>The Bold- Presentation
>The Sweet Empress- Serving size
>The Grand Fisherman- Seafood
>The Resourceful Streethound- Improvise
>The Ace of Alcohols- Drinks
>The Pride of the Vaterland- Utensils
>The Baker- Baking

Well, that's a baker's dozen folks.

>>33378191
Stealing the idea, but not the exact people. For starters, there's no arctic master of chilled food here! Come to think of it, there's kind of a mix of presentation, preparation and types of dish here-! We might need a re-think.

>>33378291
Chilled Food... in a fantasy setting, would that not be stepping into the realm of the very gods themselves!?

>>33378530
The master chefs could have a special tool that each of them gives to the winner, which combined together, gives them the right to challenge the god of cooking himself after creating the dish of the gods using these tools.

>>33378530
Ah, but you forget the plethora of cold monsters and frozen magic that exists within a fantasy setting! With the correct preparation, chilling the food could produce delicacies who's power could rival any coarse meat dish or reeking seafood!

I wonder how one would represent the mechanical benefits of different dishes. Simply grilling or roasting the flank of some beast could give a minor benefit, but what about combining ingredients, or different methods of cooking? This bears much investigation and thought...

>>33378530
Well the Pride of Vaterland is a Nazi soldier with robots limbs, so theres obviously some work that needs to be done.

>>33341059
My recommendation is to first find a cooking RPG (there's gotta be one out there somewhere), look it over to see how good it is, and then ask them if they want to play that. Make it clear to them that you're not doing this because you're annoyed with them or anything, just because it seems like that's sort of thing they like and you want to make them happy. Suggest a one-off session, and dress it up as a treat. Then, if they like it and want to keep going, keep going.

Also, pay attention to whoever mentioned Monster Hunter and Toriko in this thread, you'll want to look at both of those for hints on how to serve a setting like this.

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>>33378805
Marination should yield special rewards too for planning ahead.

>>33378981
This is a blue board, anon. Your picture is too lewd.

>>33377222
>Pot of Crushing
A large pot used for cooking soups. It's enchanted with pressure-based magic so that while it cooks the pressure within the pot crushes the ingredients down to a pulp, so that every ounce of flavor is released.

>Cleaver of the Beasts
A large cleaver sword made of ancient metals. It's edge never seems to dull, and it is capable of slicing through even the toughest of hides and bones. It is said all the beasts this cleaver has cut through have invaded the blade with their souls, giving it a wild disposition.

>>33341059
You ought to have the PCs take dietary restrictions as flaws, either because allergies or some other medical condition like Meniere's disease, or maybe even for religious reasons.

Also be sure to bring some really appetizing pictures of food, or else writefag some, so the players can actually experience the pleasure of the delicious food. Toriko, both the manga and the anime, are both wellsprings of food porn.

Just remember not to play on an empty stomach.

>>33378981
>The players run across a merchant-like chef who sells jars full of various ingredients that are all soaking in high quality marinades

>>33379087
>Derrick, do you really want to take Cannibalism as a flaw?

>>33379087
BLASPHEMY! Play on an empty stomach, but for the love of lunch, provide food for your players! Anything from nibbles to a full-course menu!

>>33378824
FOOL! Food is life! Food is the source of all life! All things eat and thus, it only stands to reason that the correct foods could create life where there was none! Steel and copper, given life by the foods one eats! This is the power of NAZI SCIENCE!

>>33378752
USURPER! The so-called 'God of Cooking' is nothing more than a pretender to the name! The first god, the overgod, the Progenitor, was the true god of cooking, having baked and boiled and roasted and fried all the world into being! When he vanished to create other dishes, this lesser pretender arose, hoping to steal some of the prestige by claiming the ultimate domain as his own!

And legend has it, somewhere in this world, the Ultimate Menu resides, waiting to be discovered and eaten, a final gift by the Progenitor, to the unworthy chefs of this world.

>>33378981
SENSATIONAL! I was thinking something like a series of key-words for each ingredient and if they combine well, enhanced or new properties are brought forth in the final dish? This will require a lot of forward-planning... And charts. Many, many charts.

>>33379276
>provide food for your players!

No worries about that. We play at Warblade's house, and we'll trade off between making dinner and getting takeout every couple of weeks. Also, our swordsage's player does a weekly collection to buy stuff from her local bakery.

>>33379382
OP, I'm pretty sure the question now is why in gammon's name haven't you run a food campaign sooner?

A thought, what can be done with the abilities of a magician within the kitchen? A chef cannot invoke ice or lightning at his whim or searing light without immense expense and effort. But any wizard could do such with a snap of his or her fingers. If you are immune to fire, what could you do to the food even as it is cooked?
There must be ways to use magic within cookery. Magical tenderising, arcane microwaves, pressure cookers..
And what of the effects of magical ingredients added to a dish? >>33377863 was onto something here. It's the food itself that allows the PCs to hunt the greater ingredients, animal or vegetable. The effect of the food gives them the energy and strength to combat dragons and whatnot.

Slightly worried about drunken masters in this setting, too.

http://www.lulu.com/ca/en/shop/zach-welhouse/intergalactic-cooking-challenge/paperback/product-419995.html

Have fun, OP. A buddy of mine ran this and it was utterly hilarious.

>Ctrl+F
>Dragon's Crown
>No results

OP, you NEED to check this shit out.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MqBpSCwKxpQ

>>33379687
The wizard might use his magic in a telekinesis type way, by preparing four meals WITH HIS MID while he's on the crapper, or to conjure up help. Maybe even use it to make "magical recipes", kinda like the ones in OP's story, adding alchemy and potions, like, "Oh yeah, the curry will give you X-ray vision for the next twenty minutes. Which is why I set up shop next to a brothel."

>>33341059
How is this a problem? That's a pretty creative answer to "what solves everything"

>>33379779
I was gonna mention something about Vanillaware and food at some point, but it never really felt appropriate. Thank you for doing it so I didn't have to.

>>33379761
I... Wow. I didn't think this really existed. You're a true hero, anon.

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I'm voting for this thread to be archived.

...if that's a thing. WHO'S WITH ME!?

>>33341355
Do consider the possibility that part of the fun might be breaking expectations. If the system is about cooking, then they'll feel pressured to minmax their cookpacity. Unless, of course, they ask for cooking mechanics, in which case you should make the jump.

Keep the system, but have the world slowly change around them.

>>33360297

Since we're rolling with the Chopped scenario - you can drop the "half." All of the judges are chefs, either restauranteurs or writers/owners/editors of various magazines and books.

So yeah, between the three of 'em there that day, those Gelantinous Cubes are mere truffles.

>>33379964
I would be severely disappointed if this thread were not archived.

>>33379964
>>33380088
Already happened. http://suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/archive/33341059/

>>33379779
foodporn.jpg

>>33379761
I always feel apprehensive about new systems that, "Totally fit exactly what you want!" because they never quite do... That said, let's check this out...

>>33379687
You really need to watch Toriko. Actually, you could go one better, too! What about a chef's knife made from the tooth of a fearsome dragon? Or hunting arrows tipped with the shell of a near-invincible creature? A mighty hammer/tenderiser made from the bone of a behemoth?

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>>33379964
You're pic makes me think annon.
Think we could get like a brewer, or a drink maker?
No good meal is complete without something to wash it down.

>>33380699
He'd have to be the angriest, most bitter and foul-tempered sunnovabitch ever. An individual who comes from a long line of brewers and drink-makers.

He'd be the Dirty Harry of brewing... making drinks so magnificent, so POTENT, they'd put hair on anyone's chest.

Brew so... badass, it'd kick the drinker to the ground and hold them at gunpoint, making the them wonder if they really DO feel lucky.

>>33380871
Sounds like every brewmaster ever. Elitist fucking assholes, all of them.

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Best damn thread right now, anyone who says different is a fool and braggart.

>>33378291
It's only natural that you adjust the idea to suit your campaign.

And it need not end with The Baker's Dozen. What of The Dark Dozen; cruel chefs hailing from the dark underworld of cooking, headed by the murderous gourmet of intelligent beings known only as The Butcher?

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Can I get a recap of the thread so far?

>>33382507
OP asks about players wanting to cook.
Discussion turns to ideas for a cooking setting and some ideas for crunch. Write faggotry occurs.

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>>33382624
Write faggotry? Not bad.
Have some PlaugeofGripes.

>>33382507
Sure! Just scroll up to near that top of the thread, and read.
I'm assuming there's some urgent pressing need on your time that forbids you from actually reading the thread however, otherwise you'd never ask what would otherwise be a question that would warrant a swift punch to the kidneys. But fear not! For the thread has already been archived and you can peruse it at your leisure.

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>>33378191
The master chefs defeated and shamed, you embark to claim the fruits of your labor. The title of True Maester.

There is one final test you must complete before your journey is completed. One final dish to make.

Because to become a True Maester... You must defeat the previous one..

"Greetings. I've been watching your rise with great intrest." The Maester says, rising from his dinner table. He's dressed in a tweed blazer, and a striped shirt. His glasses are scratched and smeared, as if grease had splattered on them, but was forgotten.

You recognise him, but cannot place the memory. "Ah yes," he says, straightening his bow tie "you most likely remember me from the old competitions for the Master Chefs. I was there, in the background. I was subtle, not loud and brash like you. I spent a decade learning their techniques, and the ways to most handily defeat them."

"And being the True Maester? Not what its cracked up to be. I expected to be the ruler of a culinary empire, spending years perfecting my dishes, but instead, I get a few books, and a few jobs a year from the people rich enough to hire me... I welcome your challenge, though. Its been years since I've had a decent challenger. I wish you the best of luck." As he finishes his speech, he pulls out an industrial sized food mixer, complete with flame decals on the side. "Whenever you're ready, kid." He says, smirking.

Right, I writefag'd items. Now for THE INGREDIENTS, AND THE MAGICAL EFFECTS THEREIN!

>Skeleton Spice
Dried and ground up from the enchanted bone marrow of a risen skeleton, the necromantic bite is a flavor that takes getting used to, yet acts as a foundation for other flavors.

>Orcish Orchid
A small flower that sprouts from the soil around orcish settlements, the color of the petal corresponds with the species of the orc therein. The tubers of the orchid give a subtle flavor of cashews and watercress, while the petals give a heart-strengthening effect if steeped in fine wine.

>Repose Rosemary
A small, special bush of rosemary grows on the soil above graves that been disturbed in the creation of undead. The herb adds the natural flavor of the surrounding area, as well as the favorite flavor of the person that was raised.

>Catoblepas Tusk
The tusks of the catoblepas are nothing special on their own. Steep them in a stock pot however, and the resulting mixture grants any dish the stock is used for the ability to grant petrification resistance.

>>33383446
EVEN MOOOORE!

>Naga Extract
Detoxified, boiled naga venom. Serves as an excellent base for a syrup, or for serving straight over seafood-based dishes.

>Dryad Clippings
The plant-like hair of a dryad serves as the finest fennel for a salad, or when boiled acts as a vegetable alternative to noodles, having a lettuce-like crunch while maintaining a noodley appearance.

>Treant Bark Shavings
A deep flavor of cashews and the tree the treant is born from, the bark shavings serve as a magical substitute for most sweeter spices. It has the magical effect of increasing the strength and durability of a consumer's skin or hide.

>Nymph Lotus
Wherever the nymphs and nereids live in peace, so does grow this pale blue lotus that floats on the water's surface. The petals taste like fresh vanilla, and when sliced and boiled give any dish an amorous smell. Consuming the dish after taking in the smell grants a boost to *ahem* fertility and stamina.

>>33383809
Yoink yoink yoink..! And my own contributions...

>Salamander Flank
Nigh-impossible to cook with an ordinary kitchen fire, this steak requires, at the very least, a blacksmith's forge, or preferably, a dragon's breath! Once properly cooked and eaten, the diner may endure the hottest flames, as if they were a cool breeze!

>Strangler Vine Grapes
Possessing a rather coppery taste, these berries grow after an animal killed by the strangler vine has completely been absorbed into the plant. When eaten raw, or made into wine, they promote an exceptionally strong grip that is very useful for climbers.

>>33378191
Seafood's not a thing of cooking? Maybe he should be impressive ingredients? Since fishing is about catching really big fish and such.
Also the title of the utensil guy probably shouldn't have a proper noun in it.

>>33384245
Utensil guy was shitty writefaggotry, remove him and add a better take on the concept

>>33382706
>Alton Brown
My nigga.

>>33384264
I agree. Thematically it doesn't really make sense anyway, all of them had special utensils.

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>ctrl+f steak through the heart
>no results

Rolled 2 + 2

>>33349704
Rage mode activated.jpg

>>33384912
>Win the vampire's heart through delicious gourmet steak.
>Convince them that by dining on blood they've been missing out.
Ok, I kind of want to see this now.

Rolled 5 + 2

>>33385001
well damn, no meat cleaving for me

>>33385273
>vampire subsists entirely on diet of steak from then on, dies 3 years later of coronary arrest.

>>33384264
Working on it.

>>33385313
>vampire dies anyway, just dies DELICIOUSLY.

I see no problem with this.

>>33384264
>>33385316

Lightning flashes in the sky high above the mountaintop fortress.

The rain hits massive, perfectly maintained statues, and pours down on stones that have been exactingly carved into identical sizes with the utmost precision. Were you to close you eyes in the center of the courtyard and turn around, you doubt you would be able to tell the difference, save that the stairs leading up and down would be on opposite sides.

Another flash of lightning and peal of thunder, and on the balcony in front of you, a figure appears. A tall, muscular man man wearing a military uniform and an overcoat stands in front of the banister, above a hanging red banner showing a stylized knife and fork on top of a white plate. Behind him, a row of men in similar uniforms stand ramrod straight. The man begins to speak, gesturing animatedly, his voice carrying throughout the yard.

>>33386732 (cont)
>>33384264
>>33385316
"So you have defeated the others? That worthless fry cook who refuses to use anything other than the second-rate equipment she had when she first started cooking? The filthy street urchin who intentionally uses the worst ingredients he can get his hands on? All the garbage they espouse is nothing without the necessary tools to cook a dish. Tools are everything in cooking, and the finer the tool, the finer the meal it makes. Even the proper utensils can improve the taste of a meal! This is the true way of cooking, and only through the replacement of inferior tools can one gain the ability to improve as a chef."

He makes a motion, and two of his men begin carrying down a large canopy and some poles. Behind him, the rest have begun transporting a huge variety of top-quality cooking devices with military efficiency. Rather than take one of the two stairways leading down from his position, he leaps off the thirty-foot balcony, effortlessly clearing the railing.

His landing cracks the stones below him, but he seems completely unfazed by his fall. He straightens and looks at you. His men snap to attention as he begins to speak.

"One's implements matter above all...." he says as he throws off his coat, the lightning revealing that he has implanted thin, heavily jointed mechanical arms to himself, each ending in a different type of cooking utensil, each crafted out of adamantium.

"And I have made myself the ultimate! I am capable of creating a feast out of things normal beings could not hope to prepare properly! I am the Master of the Perfected Kitchen!" He flourishes his various knives, swiping with far greater strength and speed than a humanoid could ever hope to achieve. "Now let us cook!"

>>33386754
Better

>>33386754

Is it weird that I read that guy's speech in a German accent?

>>33349704
>Spatula Claymore
Why not Spatulaxe

>>33386732
>>33386754
Wow, that's much better than the original concept.

So now we have the Baker's Dozen being:
>The Chef of the Iron Ladle- Labor
>The Sultan of Spice- Flavor
>The Master of Proportion Plating- Proportions
>The Fry-Cook Mistress- Timing
>The Master of the Barbecue- Patience
>The Wild God- Natural ingredients
>The Bold- Presentation
>The Sweet Empress- Serving size
>The Grand Fisherman- Seafood
>The Resourceful Streethound- Improvise
>The Ace of Alcohols- Drinks
>The Master of the Perfected Kitchen- Utensils
>The Baker- Baking

Any other changes to make to any of them?

>>33387185
Seeing as the imagery is incredibly based on Nazi Germany, no. No it is not.

>>33388320
Wait, The Grand Fisherman should be about Impressive Ingredients

>>33388320
I'm of the opinion the Grand Fisherman could stand to have his focus changed to match the others. The drinks guy is dissimilar enough from food that it's probably fine, but he's the only one focused on a particular style of cooking. Well, some of them are, but their ideal is applicable to cooking in general.

>>33388320
The sultan is probably better summed up by "seasoning" rather than "flavor", since flavor is the end result of all cooking when you get down to it. Also, the Streethound should have his ideal changed to a noun like the rest of them. Finally, I might change "baking" to "cooking" since it not only is a wider area of expertise for a godlike figure like The Baker, but it also eliminates the repetition. I might also make him "recipes", but his fluff text doesn't mention it. It totally fits though. He has the recipes to cook worlds, and the arcane knowledge to do it.

>>33388320
Also add this dude >>33382706
Alton brown sounds like a dope final boss. Might need a rewrite, though.

>>33341093
there was a web comic about pen and paper roleplayers that had a weird story arc in which they started a food based game. I can't remember the name of the comic for the life of me though

Well, someone stole this idea and is looking for people on roll20 lol

>>33389161
Link?

>>33388382
>>33388473
>>33388902
>>33389080
Alright, how's this?

The Baker's Dozen
>The Chef of the Iron Ladle- Labor
>The Sultan of Spice- Seasoning
>The Master of Proportion Plating- Proportions
>The Fry-Cook Mistress- Timing
>The Master of the Barbecue- Patience
>The Wild God- Natural ingredients
>The Bold- Presentation
>The Sweet Empress- Serving size
>The Grand Fisherman- Seafood
>The Resourceful Streethound- Limited resources
>The Ace of Alcohols- Drinks
>The Master of the Perfected Kitchen- Utensils
>The Baker- Cooking

>The True Maester Alton Brown

Oriental chefs extra stage?

>>33389161
Protip: /tg/'s settings are there to be used. You can't fucking steal them. Also link please.

>>33389080
haha, nope. Immortal baking god is final boss.

>>33389253
Fisherman is still seafood, and Alton Brown is a joke.

>>33389253
i like the baker's dozen focusing on different aspects of cooking. but on the other hand i want it to be like pokemon. different leagues with different focuses.

There should be another league focusing on different cuisines ie. mediterranian, vietnamese, brazillian and so forth.

>>33389300
I wouldn't tell my players "yep you're fighting Alton Brown". But i could see someone who'd previously beaten the bakers dozen being a cool opponent to throw into it and basing him on Alton Browns personality seems cool to me.

>>33389253
I feel the 'wild god' and the 'grand fisherman' should be the same dude who is all about fresh, natural, impressive ingredients

>>33370984
No but vodka does

>>33389253
We need a person who combines different flavours too. The blending, or fusion master or something

>>33389500
the baker is a literal god who baked the world and can control the sun. If he's not the final boss, no one is.

WITH THAT SAID. In addition to what I'll tentatively call the Method League, which focuses on things intrinsic to all cooking, there is also room for a Style League, which focuses on the various styles and cuisines of cooking, and an Ingredient League, which focuses on a type or category of dish, such as seafood, curry, or vegetables.

As I envision it, the latter two leagues are roughly equal to each other, but members of the first generally have risen to the top of one or even both minor leagues before entering their current one. This is why the Baker's Dozen is so varied - the Fry-Cook Mistress, for example, started out in the Style league, while the Grand Fisherman began in the Style league. In essence, it's somewhat like how both Kanto and Johto each have a Gym system, and beating either one allows you to challenge the Elite Four.

For the most part, a member of one of the minor leagues specializes in one area related to his league, and has a general knowledge of the others as they relate to their specialty, with more knowledge coming as they improved. For example, a seafood chef would know how to prepare fish in a number of different cooking methods and styles. Conversely, a guy who deep-fried everything would know how to best fry a variety of ingredients. Every so often, you'd get jack-of-all-trades who try to master everything in their league. They usually can do it, but they trade increased knowledge of their league for slower growth in their knowledge of the other. To put it simply, they know a little less about a little more.

Finally, Grand Fisherman is Impressive Ingredients. Or Live Preparation, but that's presentation.

>>33390318
Maybe make the Grand Fisherman live preparation (or freshness, actually), and The Bold Ambiance? so:

The Baker's Dozen
>The Chef of the Iron Ladle- Labor
>The Sultan of Spice- Seasoning
>The Master of Proportion Plating- Proportions
>The Fry-Cook Mistress- Timing
>The Master of the Barbecue- Patience
>The Wild God- Natural ingredients
>The Bold- Ambiance
>The Sweet Empress- Serving size
>The Grand Fisherman- Freshness
>The Resourceful Streethound- Creativity
>The Ace of Alcohols- Drinks
>The Master of the Perfected Kitchen- Utensils
>The Baker- Cooking

>>33390318
Er, Grand Fisherman began in the Ingredient League, rather.

>>33389500
>>33389274
Yeah, actually thinking about it, alton brown would be a good second to last boss. Like you go through all the chef's and they keep talking about the one who came before you, blah blah blah, when you get to the bakers... Area? You see him trying to get in, but due to plot shenanagins, he isnt the chosen one, just a really good cook.

The party arrives at the heart of the Cult of the Greasy Veins, vast temple-like complex that resembles more like an alchemist's factory, sickening with the scent of grease, salt, and cleaning fluid.

Battle waves after waves of cultists in red and yellow, who long have plagued the realms with dry, tasteless meals, they enter a vast circular chamber, a vat of the most horrid smells and sounds bubbling and churning as pipes feed oil, salt, grease, and other foul mixtures, as large, obese men, 9 in all, surround the vat, stirring long sticks to help the mixtures.

"You are too late, heroes", chimes the center man, his voice dull and uninspired.

"While you battled for useless things like 'taste' and 'proportions', we prepared", chimes another.

"What use do the people have for slow cooking? The people demand filling, they demand fast and cheap. Your meals are useless for industry."

"Your efforts have been for naught. We will give the people what they want. They will be happy, overfed, and willing to do mindless labor."

"And if they die? Into the vats they go. It's only efficient. But look. Our creation stirs..."

Right on cue, the vat does stir. A hideous thing emerges, caked with stale bread, dry and rubbery meat, fries too salty and soggy, rotted 'vegetables' and 'fruits', foul condiments, and held together by searing oil and bubbling grease.

The monstrous giant of an abomination stands tall against the party, roaring its first breath, as it spits diet colas acidic enough to burn the hardiest metals away. It seeks to consume. It seeks to DEVOUR... EVERYTHING.

>>33390536
even better: there is a gate you have to go through to get to the baker that can only be opened by a sufficiently superb dish.

The opponent has tried for nearly a decade to open it and hopes a duel with the players can get his creativity going enough that he will be able to open it.

the twist is that only by cooperating and making a dish together will they be able to open it

>no meatbread abomination worshipped by a cult

I thought you would not forget, /tg/. Me, would that I could.

>>33390546
ooh i smell a new story arc: Rise of The Industry!

>>33390621
Oooh even better! I would hate to crush alton. He seems like a very sincere dude.