>>33316059
Maker her a maid! OUR MAID! Maids like cook dead things right?

>>33316059
>>Make her Allonces' pet.
Normally I'd say pets shouldn't have pets, but the idea is so adorable

>>33316059
>Make her your maid.

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>>33316059
>All of the above.
We'll interrogate her, and then afterwards we'll make her everyone's underling.

Also, I finished that doodle from before, although yours looks way better.

>>33316059
>Make her your maid.
At last, the long awaited maid flag!

Also, great OP pic.

>>33316059
>Make her your maid.

>>33316059
>Make her your maid.
Shax wanted one back when she was collecting the thrones but only got a butler.

>>33316158

yours is amazing

and it was made with love

so I love you for it

I save all my fanart!

>>33316158
I dunno, mildly-unhinged is a good look for her too.

>>33316059
>>Make her your maid.
We've got a butler, but we need to complete the whole set!

>>33316059
Does that picture actually have the war paint?!

>>33316059
We need to find her thrones. If we have light and dark and ice and sea mom...damn, we be killin n chillin.

>>33316059
>Make her your maid.

Chief, will we ever get to the new tree in BtB before the quest ends? It seems impossible at the rate we gain exp.

>>33316228
I say we just smash her realm and ours together.

>>33316158
This

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>>33316267
T-that's way too lewd, anon!

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>>33316217
Thanks!
>>33316213
Aw jeez Chief, you're makin me blush here. I made a version with flat colors since I can't shade worth shit, but it was based on the older version of Shax you posted on your twitter.

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>>33316318
Yes, and?

>>33316059
>That Shax
>dat weapon
>dat hair
>DAT TUMMY
I will be back in a few minutes. Don't play without me.

>>33316267
O-oh my...I uhm...I don't think axe-girl is old enough for...that stuff.

>>33316354

all colorations of shax are acceptable to me!

Anyway. Writing.

>>33316354
That looks really good anon.

>>33316267
Lewd, but fair.

>>33316387
So uh, who did the op picture?

>>33316213
Where'd you get OP Shax from anyway?

>>33316059
>watermelony fist
Punch me, Shax-senpai.

>>33316434
>>33316444

http://121642.deviantart.com/

cost me eight bucks

it was robbery so I tipped him more

>>33316354
You're pretty good for not having shading skills.

I've been getting into art recently and I didn't really "get" a single thing I was learning until I started thinking in terms of light and value and such.

>>33316059
>The clown is beginning to drag her off.
That clown is weird. RECRUIT IT.

>Make her your maid.
We certainly need one. Allonces would do better as a maid but she is already pet so...

>>33316485
Allonces is too prissy for maid business. Well, so is axe girl, but she's prissy in a haughty way so it's funny to get her to clean up for us. Allonces is just lazy.

>>33316511
Pretty much. Allonces would just force Alphonse to do that shit, and then it'd be terribly done.

>>33316354
That white patch....

>>33316059
I see how this happened. The defensive value of the leather armor was entirely in the belts, at least to Shax. That's why she tore it up.

>>33316059
Top tier fanart.

>>33316605

Was a commission!

>>33316485
>That clown is weird. RECRUIT IT.
This is a good suggestion. It may not be a sane one, but it's definitely good.

>>33316387
>all colorations of shax are acceptable to me!
...but which palette swap is the most powerful?

>>33316485
Clown's great. The kind of great that stays up and stares at you all night, but great nonetheless.

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>>33316453
>>33316621
Jesus, no wonder it's so good.

>>33316548
i-it was in this one first! I was only working with what I was given!

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>>33316213
>I save all my fanart!
Is there some way for us to access it.

>>33316354
I don't think he meant to say that white patch was bad in any way.

>>33316548
You didn't, did you anon?

Because I will fayt yu to death.

>>33316760
I did not. It is entrancing. Hypnotizing. I want to see all of it.

You asked around for some boys who knew how to tie rope, and only Xab's stalker dark elf girl showed up. She tied Axe Girl up in a kinda weird way that sorta covered her body in a lattice of rope. It looked sorta weird, and the dark elf kept giggling while tying the knots. Well, at least it looked like she wouldn't escape. But what the heck were you going to do with her? She's a dangerous lady. Too dangerous to really effectively hold her captive. Plus, she's probably got friends back in the city.

Hmmm, there was only one solution. As the human woman slowly wakes up, you crouch down in front of her. "Hey, you're going to be my maid, Axe Girl."

Her only response is a squint, then she wiggles against her bonds a bit. "What?! Your maid? And these ropes. To think, my destined rival was into such degenerate play." She bites her lip and refuses to look you in the eye. "A disgrace! And I have a name, Shax!"

"Yeah, but I've never heard it. Anyway, I need someone to clean up around camp. You'd be perfect for it. Whaddaya say? I won't even kill you! It's a great deal." You give Axe Girl a thumbs up.

"I wholeheartedly refuse."

"Alright! Let's get you started on your training, then!" You pick the tied up woman and carry her off. Aren't you forgetting something? Oh, right! The circus! You stop and wave at the ringleader. He wipes his forehead of sweat and looks around the mess of the circus and points at the ground. Nodding vigorously, you wink and give him a thumbs up, too. It's all thumbs around here. Visibly deflating, the ringleader starts to round up the performers for a quick huddle meeting.

You go back up to your seat and plop the Axe Girl next to you, "First, though, we gotta enjoy a show, alright, Axe Girl?" There is just a groan in response.

>Yell out a suggestion for the next performance.
>Make incredibly awkward small talk with Axe Girl.
>Invite someone over to join your viewing party.

>>33316836
>Make incredibly awkward small talk with Axe Girl.
If ya got a name then what is is?
Oh, how'd you get your powers anyway? A god told me to wreck some thrones for him but I took them instead.

>>33316836
Awkward small talk, laced with unintentional innuendo!

>>33316836
>Make incredibly awkward small talk with Axe Girl.
Ask what it's like to be an shining warrior of justice.
Who has become a demigod of ice and darkness, while her evil archrival is a demigod of crystal and light.

>Make incredibly awkward small talk with Axe Girl.
This first.
>Invite someone over to join your viewing party.
Then we get Allonces, she's always doing small talk and tea parties and stuff.

>>33316836
>Make incredibly awkward small talk with Axe Girl.
>Invite someone over to join your viewing party.
Sitri and Allonces

>>33316836

Awkward small talk

>>33316836
>Make incredibly awkward small talk with Axe Girl.

>>33316836
>Get to know your new maid. Have some pleasent conversation with Axe Girl.
means
>Make incredibly awkward small talk with Axe Girl.

>>33316836
>Make incredibly awkward small talk with Axe Girl.
Best maid.

>>33316836
Small talk! Invite Allonces and Sitri!

>>33316890
>>33316895
>>33316913
>>33316920
>>33316926
>>33316938
>>33316948
>>33316952
>>33316966
>>33316982
Making incredibly awkward small talk is objectively the best option.

>>33316966
We're gonna have to train her, though.

>>33316997

Fine! Give me a d20 to determine how much your small talk can melt her frozen heart.

>>33316895
Things like "So how much experience do you have serving a mistress? That's the name for maids' bosses, right? Mistresses?"

Rolled 9

>>33317041

Rolled 20

>>33317041
Shax the best

Rolled 16

>>33317041
After the stunning display of rolling in the last thread, can Shax maintain her super competency?

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Rolled 10

>>33317041
Mewl some. It works.

>>33316836
>She tied Axe Girl up in a kinda weird way that sorta covered her body in a lattice of rope. It looked sorta weird, and the dark elf kept giggling while tying the knots.
...Shax might get herself into a heap of trouble if she ever overhears that there's a pattern of this that's actually explicitly called tortoise-shell and insists on trying it out herself.

>>33316836
We should get some more of the fluffy crunchy stuff. That's practically half the fun of seeing the circus, after all, and she's going to miss out on getting the whole experience.

Doesn't matter that she's tied up; we can just shovel it into her mouth for her.

>>33317059
>Shax the best
yep

>>33317059
Shax the smoothest!

>>33317059
FUCK YES

>>33317059
Shax's ray of sunshine will BURN away her hostility!

Rolled 10

>>33317041
nat 1 inc

>>33317059
Welp

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Rolled 8

>>33317059
>Shax the best
Yep. Confirmed.

>>33317069
>spoiler
How appropriate.

>>33317059
Trust the Shax. Believe in the Shax. Love the Shax.

Rolled 17

>>33317069
I think the maid is actually bound in tortoise-shell at the torso. I just imagined as such the second I read it and it is cannon and nobody can convince me otherwise.

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>>33317059

I told you to melt axe girl's heart, anon. Not my own.

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>>33317059
Time for Axe Girls Dere side already?

>>33317059
MEIDO GETTO!

Considering this recent trends of dice rolls, I'm beginning to suspect that Axe Girl is actually incredibly competent, but Shax operates as some kind of competence leech and absorbs all her ability whenever she gets near her.

>>33317144
>>33317059
So does Shax just kinda turn into Yotsuba for a second or what?

>>33317210
I stand by that Shax is just naturally incredibly competent but needs a rival to awaken her potential.

>>33317221
I think this is going to turn into one of those "We're not so different, you and !" type situations, maybe? It was theorized that she got her powers the same way we did(good god told her to destroy the dark thrones, she took them over instead).

If she figures out that we're not actually following the evil dudes orders she might also want to help us just so she can undermine the greater evils plots.

>>33317049
10/10

>>33317049
"Do you get sore if you're on your knees for too long? 'Cause we got a carpet that needs cleaning at the base."

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>>33317513
>>33317049

>>33317552
"How good are you at cleaning out dark wet caves? My cave has had a bunch of guys and kids in there, so it's filthy."

Okay actually that one's probably too much.

>>33317661
>Okay actually that one's probably too much
Yeah, I'm cool with innuendo, but implying Shax is a slut hurts my soul.

>>33317661
Besides, they're not dark, wet and filthy. They're the epitome of goblin homeliness, comfort and improvised architecture.

Popping some of the crunchy buttery stuff in your mouth you chew loudly while Axe Girl sulks next to you. Maybe she doesn't like elephants? They're uglier than they should be, but they got cute eyes so they aren't all bad. Plus, they're huge! And they're doing goofy things like rolling balls around. Really, there is no reason to be sulking. Maybe it is because you are hogging all the crunchy stuff?

"Hey, open up! I'll give you some of my crunchy fluff." You scoop up a handful and hand it out to her. She glares at you. "Say, 'aaaahh!'" Maids are just pets, right? Brokagh said something about them being like beautiful young cats. The glare intensifies. Jeez, she must not be hungry. Still, this silence is pretty uncomfortable. She's not even looking at the seals! "Sooo. What do you think the most fun part of being my maid is going to be?"

"Defeating you while your guard is down, brute." You just look at her while crunching this stuff. Tough customer.

"Got any experience serving a mistress? That's what I'll be if you're my maid, right? I figure you'd know." With a groan, she rolls her eyes. "What'd you wanna be when you grew up, and why was it a maid?"

"I wanted to be a paladin," Axe Girl grumbles, "Saving people is cool, and I think Victalia is a just and fair goddess. It'd be an honor to serve her..." She sorta mumbles that last part.

A goddess, huh? "Neat. So people that serve goddesses are paladins? That makes me one! Sea Mom thinks I'm cool so she occassionally helps me out." You pop more fluff into your mouth and Axe Girl turns to stare at you.

"What? You serve a goddess?" You nod. She's trying to eye you without letting you know she's looking. "Do you save people's lives?"

"Depends on who you're talkin' bout." You're sure you've saved some lives of some species somewhere.

"Hmph."

>Invite someone over to help you break the ice.
>Convince her being a maid is exactly like being a paladin since you're basically a goddess already.

>>33317730
Well I mean it's the elemental plane of light so it's bright, wet, and filthy.

>>33317776
>Convince her being a maid is exactly like being a paladin since you're basically a goddess already.

This can't go wrong.

>>33317776
>Invite someone over to help you break the ice.

>>33317776
>>Invite someone over to help you break the ice.

Allonces! Orientate our new maid!

>>33317059
Wat

>>33317776
Can we ask Sea Mom about Victalia? Maybe they used to be sorority sisters or something and we can be on the same side.

>>33317776
>>Invite someone over to help you break the ice.
Invite Allonces and Sitri over.

>>33317776
>Convince her being a maid is exactly like being a paladin since you're basically a goddess already.
Make reasoned arguments. Or be Shax. EIther way.

>>33317819
This.
Oh god this

I don't follow this neither I have time to pick up another Quest, but damn..
>dat OP!

>>33317776
>Invite someone over to help you break the ice.
Sitri's always been good at the casual talk so she might be best. Milda might work too since she's real level-headed.

>>33317860
Ooh, this sounds fun.

Also we should ask her name.

>>33317776
Ask her what this 'Victalia' is goddess of.

>>33317776
>Invite someone over to help you break the ice.
Sitri.

Also, get her name.

>>33317776
>Convince her being a maid is exactly like being a paladin since you're basically a goddess already.
When will we get her name?
Also, Axe Girl isn't going to just be locked away in our cave forever, is she?
We can always use more fighters

>>33317887
Ask her name, talk about religion, mention our quest to save the souls of all goblins...

Break the ice!

>>33317930
This sounds great! Seconding!
>>33317776

Rolled 20

>>33317776
>>Convince her being a maid is exactly like being a paladin since you're basically a goddess already.
Since you will sk for a roll for this. I will roll and GODS WILL IT I SHALL SUCCEED

>>33317918
I don't think Axe Girl will fight for us unless we have a bit of a change in policy.

I mean, Shax is a pretty decent person but she does commit acts of evil out of boredom.

>>33317930
Thirding this, by the way.

>>33317980
why would you waste a nat 20

>>33317980
THIS COUNTS I SWEAR TO GOD CHIEF

>>33317776
>Convince her being a maid is exactly like being a paladin since you're basically a goddess already

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>>33317980

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>>33317980

>>33317930
This. Maybe mention we're sort of intending to break away from the alliance.

>>33317930
Yep, we gotta do something about that hungerer some time. Being eaten in the afterlife can't be fun at all. Axe-girl can be our paladin and help us with that.

Alright! Writing.

>>33318056
Yeah. And this might be the perfect chance to start planning to back stab our bosses.

The goblin clans shall have salvation and loot!

I envy Axe Girl's ability to do whatever she wants. Why can't Shax have that? She should be able to say fuck you to their stupid capital raid.

>>33318131
In case you haven't noticed, Shax has stopped caring about the dark alliance and doing whatever she wants as she's gotten more powerful.

>>33318131
She could. But why would she? Raiding a big capital city sounds pretty good.

>>33318131
>Shax thinks the lawful good paladin is a goof off

>>33318167
It would make Axe Girl sad.

>>33318170
>"Geeez Axe Girl, why can't you be a productive and respectable member of society like me?"

>>33318131
Probably because axe girl started off as a noble while Shax started off as cannon fodder.

>>33318167
Eh. Side quests have always been the most fun thing. I'm not really interested in raiding. It's always been this aside thing that we just sort of had to for the army.

>>33318201
So? Being soundly beaten with a sword and tied up make her sad but it didnt stop us.

>>33318202
Seriously. Her chair domain things aren't even all the same color. She obviously needs to step it up.

Explain to Axe Girl that all the underground races have to do whatever their bosses want or they get kill. Can they really be held accountable for their choices?

>>33318202
Yeah. We're a chief and a messiah. What has Axe Girl been up to?

>>33318260
Being a noble and a demigod? Only thing she's behind on is the godvessels thing, and she'll probably have those in short order when we release her.

>>33318288
>when we release her
Wut?

>>33318302
When her half-orc buddy frees her? Same difference.

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>>33318321
I'm still not following.

Are you implying Shax will fail in some way?

What happened to the Elf that was with her?

>>33318351
I hope so. All this luck recently is freaking me out.

>>33318355
She got knocked the fuck out.

>>33318355
The scrub who got knocked out so fast you're the only one who remembered she was there?

Don't know.

>>33318355

Currently being interrogated by Milda, since she decided that elf probably had more relevant answers.

>>33316059
That is some fantastic fanart.

Holy shit

>>33318408
Has she figured out what that prophecy Axe Girl mentioned a long time ago is? Wanna know about that prophecy.

>>33318379
2-3 threads of great luck after like 40 threads of bad sounds fair to me.

>>33318424
see
>>33316621

I just remembered what the Evil Good perk does.

If we start talking about what the Goblin's situation is like and what the Hungerer does, Axe girls is going to go all "She isn't evil, she just has shitty circumstances" on us.

>>33318477
But remember we are okay with Sea Mom's flood the world plan.

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>>33317860
>Maybe they used to be sorority sisters or something
Man, it's going to be weird to try and think of Sea Mom maybe not always having been Sea Mom.

Like trying to think of Auntie being Shax-aged, or Squidface being just a regular squid before his body came in.

Sea Mom is just Sea Mom!

>>33318517
Axe Girl doesn't need to know that.

>>33318517
What, no "we're" not. Maybe you are, but I like having land.

Besides, I don't support such extreme plans out of principal.

>>33318532
>we finally see the sea mom in person
>its just a loli in a mermaid suit

>>33318517
Didn't someone propose a "give everyone gills first!" addendum?

>>33318594
This sounds great. And we can light up the seas with Glowstones so they aren't so dark.

>>33318594
Yeah. And some islands for turtles.

>>33318635
Instead of islands, how about giant turtles with airtight cavernous growths on their shells? That way SeaMom's happy about no "land" and we get giant turtles!

I dunno. Maybe we should convince Sea Mom that the ocean needs the land and vice versa.

>>33318770
Eh, right now our relationship with the Sea Mom as her blade is to inadvertently help her out. It's not like we're actively pursuing her goals, we're just pursuing our own and occasionally things overlap.

I don't think it's something we personally need to worry about.

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>>33318732
Island turtles? Sounds good.

A knife thrower shows up, and Allonces gleefully volunteers to be the center of attention and also target. It gets super exciting when the thrower puts on a blindfold! So for a few minutes you're just sitting in excited silence.

"Blaise Vapulatin, by the way." What? You glance over at Axe Girl. "That's my name. Blaise Vapulatin. Please stop calling me Axe Girl."

You give her a toothy grin. "Nice to meet you, Blaise! I'm Shax Gloombreaker."

"I thought you said Fouldrinker," Blaise says with a pout.

Waving your hand dismissively, you get distracted as one knife gets really close to Allonces' face. "I beat up a boss, and now I'm boss. So I got to pick my own name."

"Wish I got to do that," She looks off in the distance and not at how Allonces is about to be skewered, even though it is one of the more exciting things you've ever seen. "I've been stuck being a Vapulatin ever since I was born. My dumb dad made a dumb prophesy about my life, and I've been stuck following it since."

"Eh? Didn't you bring that up before?" You sorta remember pestering her about it. "What's your dad doin' telling you what you're whole life is gonna be like, anyway."

The pout turns into a full fledged upset face, "Some people get to make prophesies, it's just how gods work. Anyway, he said I'd get to fulfill my dream, but only as a servant of a giant sword wielding underworld demon." She glances at you sullenly, "That's you, by the way. How can I be a paladin of Victalia if I'm serving evil?! Well, tell me!"

You stopped listening too hard, but realized a question was asked of you, "I dunno, I didn't choose to do any of this raiding business. The management around here is pretty creepy and startin' to get on my nerves, though."

>Start small talking about the stuff you do like, together!
>Discuss oversized weapons.
>Bring up your possible ascension into divinity.

>>33318835
>Discuss oversized weapons.

>>33318835
>Ask about Victalia
>Start small talking about the stuff you do like, together!

>>33318835
>>Start small talking about the stuff you do like, together!
>>Discuss oversized weapons.
>>Bring up your possible ascension into divinity.

All of them!!

>>33318835
>>Bring up your possible ascension into divinity.

>>33318876
This and
>Discuss oversized weapons
Was her name on the list of Sword Saints?

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>>33318835
I don't see why this isn't the only choice

>Discuss oversized weapons.

>>33318835
>>33318835
>Start small talking about the stuff you do like, together!
Blaise is turning out to be alright. These two have a lot in common.

>Bring up your possible ascension into divinity.
Do this later. I do want to mention the Hungerer and how we're trying to keep the goblins from getting their souls eaten and stuff.

>>33318835
>Start small talking about the stuff you do like, together!
>Discuss oversized weapons.
These two are basically the same thing anyway, who doesn't love oversized weapons?

>>33318835
>Start small talking about the stuff you do like, together!
>Discuss oversized weapons.
These sound like the same thing to me.

>>33318835
>Bring up your possible ascension into divinity.

I'll let you be my Blade!

>>33318902
She doesn't use a sword, so chances are she isn't.

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>>33318902
>Was her name on the list of Sword Saints?
She uses an axe.

>>33318835
>Allonces has a prophecy.
>Blaise has a prophecy.
I forget, is Shax in any prophecies?

>>33318835
>>Start small talking about the stuff you do like, together!
>>Discuss oversized weapons.

>>33318902

She's Axe Girl, not sword girl

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>Discuss oversized weapons.

>>33318951
>>Allonces has a prophecy.
Wait what. Allonces has a prophecy? What is it?

Rolled 12

>>33318835
Discuss stuff you do like, together!

>>33318951
I mean, there's the whole Mortal Blade of Sea Mom deal, and probably some other stuff that Squidface knows about and isn't telling us but pshhhh, squidface is cool.

>>33318835
>Offer to twist this 'Victalia's' arm to get her a gig, then stop and ask "or is this one of those life quest things where I need to make sure you come out blissfully unaware of all the help and shady back door deals that got you to the successful end of your quest?"

When she gets defensive point out the help we got from squid face starting out, Auntie, and our underlings in getting so far - then whisper to make sure it doesn't get out that you're well aware and appreciative of their efforts, it'd ruin a little game you have running.

>>33318835
Huh. Weird prophecy.

Talk religion. What is her god like? The goblin god sucks.

Then mention divinity.

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>>33318948
>>33318949
>>33318955
The big list of other people who carry oversized weapons that we have to beat

>>33318835
>>Start small talking about the stuff you do like, together!
>>Discuss oversized weapons.
Why not both? Oversized weapons are definitely stuff we like.

>>33318973
When you were born the first and third Moon Oracle predicted you were destined for greatness, causing massive change in elven society, and would possess dark and powerful abilities. This put a lot of weight on your shoulders as a kid, and your stupid happily married and supportive parents didn't help much and you quickly ran away from home.
From the Allonces POV thread.

>>33318951
Yes. In fact, Shax is currently in ALL prophecies!

>>33318984
He knows shit bout Shax we don't.
Maybe he doesn't want to pressure us?

>>33318984

I can assure you that if you had to decide on one Alhoon to trust, Squidface would be where I'd start. But, I mean, he's still an Alhoon.

>>33319026

It is powerful sword users! There isn't a list of oversized weapon users. I've got some discarded ones, like oversized boomerange and junk, but there isn't a formal list anywhere.

Anyway, writing!

>>33319037
Hahaha. She caused massive changes in elf society all right.

>>33319104
You're bringing Oversized Boomerang user in eventually, right? Right?!

>>33319113
Now she just needs to be powerful

>>33319026
The only list is the Sword Saint list, and thats jus for sword users, oversized or not. The only thing for oversized weapon users is some stars of destiny thing if two should ever meet.

>>33319136
I think becoming marked by that one god did that?

>>33319156
He just made her into an even more useless elf

>>33318835
>Give her a hug
She needs one

>>33319156
That one god was a really weak god, but I'm sure Allonces will eventually get wacked with an oppropriate power up. Like the ability to point Shax in the right direction and go "hu hu hu, just as planned!" when the dust settles.

>>33319240
Has Allonces ever persuaded Shax to do anything? Her matchmaking attempt failed spectacularly.

>>33319263
Allonces is at least partially aware that the best way to get shax to do something is to tell her not to do it, as evidenced by the end of the allonces POV thread.

>>33319263
She should try matchmaking again. It almost worked

>>33319372
>It almost worked
By what possible metric did it almost work? Unless she was trying to match herself with the position of Shax's pet, in which case spectacular effort A+++ would hire again.

>>33319392
There are other metrics?

>>33319392
Does putting her brother in black face count as it working?

>>33319346
Did she figure that out before or after we broke open that thing that she didnt want us to break open?

>>33319263
Allonces: "Oh no Shax! We don't have nearly enough time to stop by that ancient temple (all ancient temples a full of delicious loot) on our way to the next raid!"

Shax: "Double march so we can raid a probably lich and cultist filled ancient temple on way? Great idea! I'm totally on a roll here. Guys knew plan!"

Allonces: In the background with a stupidly large grin...

>>33319478
>>33319478
Holy shit what if she wanted us to open it all along, t-that Double-elf.

Would anyone object to me typing out a big heap of exposition that would normally be considered too articulated for Shax explaining WHY we do the things we do?

>>33319505
But she really didnt.

>>33319521
>>33319521
I can do that in two words.
>for fun.

"How'd you learn how to use that sword, anyway? I had to train with my axe to get anywhere near combat ready." Wow, you probably shouln't bring up that she kinda sucks at it, then! "But I run into you, a random goblin with a big sword and get my butt whomped. What's the deal."

You pat your arm, "I can lift it up thanks to a nice illithid friend of mine," She makes a really funny face, "And I learned how to not die from a nice dwarf lady! I got the sword from some mean jerk who didn't want to listen to me. But it all worked out, so I'm okay with it. I didn't like the sword when I first got it, you know? But now I think it is the best thing that's ever happened!"

Blaise asks you what made you change your mind, because she wasn't a big fan of her axe at first either, but pride in her family brought her around. You bring up that the sword has gotten you through all sorts of adventures, as you ran around helping people out all over the countryside! Raiding was only really a job to you, what you really enjoyed were helping strangers out with new and interesting problems. Blaise does a playful pout and points out that she is a bit jealous that you got to run around helping people. Even if it did sort of count as raiding.

The conversation shifts to Sinclaire, and you ask what the orc has been doing. Blaise says he was scouting out potential other thrones for her, she just heard from the bounty hunter that you'd knocked over a circus, and figured she could take you on with two thrones to back her up.

Turns out you both are pretty similar!

>Congratulations! You won over a maid!
>Really, we could just end the quest here, couldn't we? What more could you want? Wait, no! There are still plenty more important decisions to make, aren't there?! Like: What outfit do you want her to wear?

That's not important!

The show is over now, what's the plan, boss?

>See the sideshows!
>Thank the people for the show!
>Leave before any more authorities get here.

>>33319546
Prove it.

>>33319574
>See the sideshows!

>>33319584
She nearly shat her pants when shax did it? I know that we all knew shax would break the thing but she didnt.

>>33319574
Leave, like quickish.

>>33319574
>>33319574
All three in that order
Also give them some money or something.

>>33319574
>See the fade to black scene

>>33319574
>Thank the people for the show!

We didn't really see it, but they threw knives at Allonces so they probably did fine.

>>33319574
>Thank the people for the show!
Huh, we won her over pretty easily. Thank the dice gods for that 20, eh?

>>33319621
This sounds good. We have a lot of money.

>>33319636
And, hilariously, we're this close to getting Dark Queen. She'll never be able to betray us then.

>>33319656
Blaise is our maid not a troop.

>>33319637
Not like we've got anything else to spend 8t on.

>>33319686
Are you saying a maid can't be a soldier?

>>33319686
We'll probably have her join in on the fighting anyway. Gotta put that axe to use.

>>33319574
>Thank the people for the show!
It's only polite.

>What outfit do you want her to wear?
Where around here are we going to find a french maid outfit with a skimpy miniskirt? I think we need to raid a tailor.

Alrighty, time to write.

>>33319766
I thought we would just make her dust using it...

>>33319574
>That's not important!
Actually, I find that to be very important.

>>33319772
I want Allonces to pick out Blaise's outfit. I don't care what it is.

>>33319574
Just ask the dark elf to dress her up

>>33319862
How bout no.

Just get her something lady-like but practical.

>>33319860
Pets don't get to make decisions, at least not about our maid. If the other elf survives interrogation, Allonces can have that one as her own pet-maid.

>>33319862
I kinda want to see what would happen

>>33319860
Seconded, this would be hilarious.

>>33319862
Yes
Hell yes

>>33319897
>>33319897
>>33319897
Get he some nice goblin clothes.

>>33319906
Speaking of which... we should probably go find Milda and that elf and let them know that Blaise is now working for us. Milda was a bit more physical when interrogating people, wasn#t she?

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I just realized I don't have an extensive maid pic collection in my C folder.

This is a fucking travesty.

>>33320008
What about your /d/ folder?

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>>33320008
I got a couple maid pictures.

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>>33320037

>>33320034
I don't really bother saving porn onto my computer, there's only a few random /d/ games in there.

Anyone mind posting archives?

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>>33320057

>>33320182
http://suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/archive.html?tags=Oversized%20Weapon%20Quest

The first thread is misarchived, here's a tag with it.
http://suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/archive.html?tags=Big%20Swords

>>33320182
http://suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/archive.html?tags=Oversized%20Weapon%20Quest

http://suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/archive/29277103/ (Thread 1, which doesn't have OWQ tag)

Just google [Quest name] Suptg in the future.

You might have to use Foolz for one or two missing threads.

>>33320182
http://suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/archive.html?tags=Big%20Swords
Thread 4 was misarchived: http://suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/archive/29367674/

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I haven't been able to find a maid with a bigger axe. Still looking...

>>33320284
>>33320295
>>33320308

Archivemind

>>33320217
Those proportions are killing my eyes.

>>33320284
>>33320295
>>33320308
Thanks. Better start reading.

>>33320182
http://archive.4plebs.org/_/search/subject/oversized%20weapon/type/op/order/asc/ might be easier reading than slogging through suptg if you haven't got the extension for it.

It's also better about keeping the images intact, since some of the pictures in the late 20s/early 30s end up getting 404ed on the suptg archive.

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>>33320311
>Not just using pictures of Rory Mercury like Chief does

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>>33320311
>>33320428
WE NEED TO GO BIGGER.

>>33320428
Not a very maid-ish outfit, though.

>>33320456
Now this here... Ooh yeah!

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Oversized hammer when?

Shax oughta bow down before her orc masters make her bow down.

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>>33320641

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You decide to thank the people for the show! You make sure all the boys pay for the stuff they watch, and everyone personally thanks the ringmaster for giving everyone a good time. You stop by the goldfish vendor and give him a lot of money, because he really perked you up! As you went to thank the perfomers for letting you have a lot of fun, and helping you out in the fight against Blaise, you don't see the clown person anywhere. Where the heck did they run off to?

Eventually, you unbind Blaise, and the dark elf chick says to just let her know when you want to do that again any time. 'It's an open offer.' Were her exact words. You're not sure what that means, but she is creepy so you're going to avoid finding out. Blaise makes an ice teddy bear with dark wings and writes a message, puts it in it's bowtie, and tells it to go find Sinclaire. Milda insisted on reading the letter first, and on her approval let it get sent out. Always a level head, that Milda!

She says the bounty hunter heard about you raiding a circus, got offered cash to come help out, and decided why not? She figured that you'd just hold her prisoner for now until you figured out what you want to do with her. A thoughtful helper! In some ways, Milda is just as valuable as Bearbreath. A high compliment.

You don't have any huge plans on where to go just yet, but you're sure you'll figure something out. For now, you'll just head back to the Witch Boy's house! Along the way, you notice someone had joined the raid group.

Juggling in the middle of camp, you see the clown from before. "Oh, hello Shax. I decided to take my show on the road. Mind if I join you?"

What. What a creepy guy! How'd he even get here? "Ehh? You can follow us around, but why the heck would you want to join a bunch of goblins on their raiding party?"

"'Cause I like you. Also they are a bunch of fun." There is cheering as the clown starts juggling a fifth knife, and some clapping.

>Alright, you're in.
>Grill the clown thoroughly.

>>33320641
Orcs aint got shit.

>>33320676
Creepy clown thing can come I guess.

>>33320676

That ain't a boy, is it

>>33320676
>Alright, you're in.
Clown, get! Mission success!

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>>33320605
Cuter. They need to be cuter. That's what makes the weapons look appropriately ludicrous.

Even if they end up getting killed unceremoniously anyway, there are still regulations to abide by.

>>33320641
No bowing. Orchestrate a competant-orc-minion developmental brainstorming session or something, but c'mon. We're the boss.

>>33320676
If the clown wants to come along, they've gotta promise not to try and shank us the first time we fall asleep. We're working on upgrading our recruiting standards and practices. Somewhat.

>>33320676
>Refuse
I hate clowns.

>>33320790
GO AWAY CLOWN MAN

>>33320676
>Alright, you're in.

>>33320676
Well okay. But the clown is Sitri's responsibility! She's the best performing person we got so she's the clown's boss. It just makes sense.

So what are we going to do about Blaise's realm?

Can you open up a portal to a realm inside someone elses?

>>33320672
Oh god I never linked across boards before.
Maybe like this?

>>>/a/110182695

>>33320676
>Alright, you're in.

Makes sense, though we should have someone keep an eye on him, show him the ropes, all that.

>>33320789
What about the fish guy? The only reason he didnt count was because an anchor isnt a weapon.

>>33320676
>>Alright, you're in.
I like creepy clowns.

>>33320827
Congrats. You succeeded,

>>33320871
Phew! I was worried I'd anonymously look like a retard there!

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>>33320866
Could've stood a bit of cutening.

Alrighty, writing!

>>33320676
>>Alright, you're in.
Sure, now that we have thrones we'll need a court jester.

>>33320789
The wakazashi hair ornament and the pink glasses/goggles are just a perfect combination of absolutely ludicrous.

"Alright clown person, you're in!" Isn't it super rude to just ask someone if they're a boy or a girl? But it is really bothering you. But you really wanna know. You see Allonces squinting at them, as if the same thought process is running through her head. The clown stares right back. "But, uh. What's your name?"

"The Great and Majestic Savnock," The clown monotones out, giving a flourshing bow and twirl, when the clown rights itself, it meets your stare again, continuing its juggling unabated.

Blaise shows up, interrupting your staring contest. "Hey, Shax. We should probably talk about our domains, right?" Oh, she'd have one, too. Wouldn't she?

"Shouldn't you be in uniform?" Allonces asks, covering a sly smile with the back of her hand. She thinks the idea of you making Blaise your maid is hilarious, for some reason. Blaise meets her with a flat look, and just tosses her hair with a 'hmph,' thoroughly ignoring the elf.

You shrug, "What's there to discuss? I don't know squat about how domains work. I mean, I could discuss it with my butler, but those dudes are all whackos and I got no time for their whinin'." Every time you duck in it is some complaint or another. What a bothersome bunch.

Sighing, Blaise pinches the bridge of her nose, "Jeez, you didn't even bothering listening to them at all, did you?" You totally did! Some. "Domains are quasi-magical aetheric demi-planes capable of adapting to-" Oh jeez, you can't handle this. She's wagging a finger at you with a superior look on her face. Wow, she's still going. It's been twenty minutes according to your watch. And that second hand juts keeps on moving. "so, basically what I'm saying is that we can be neighbors. But only if our planes are compatible."

"Okay, you don't have to clean my whole castle, though, because it is really huge."

"What? You've got an entire castle??"

"You didn't?"

>Show off!
>No seriously what is that clown's deal.
>Who cares! Let's get back to witch boy's house.

>>33321419
>>Show off!

>>33321419
>Show off!

>>33321419
Based on the fact that Chief keeps offering Clownie as an option, I vote we pick him. If for no other reason than Chief probably has something planned.

>>33321419
>No seriously what is that clown's deal.

Is it a boy or a girl? Check!

>>33321419
>>Show off!
There is ONE OPTION here.

That clown is an assassin and I totally don't care. Let him come. He will die like the rest.

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>>33320866
Come again?

>>33321419
>Show off!
Silly girl, see what you miss out on when you don't claim ALL of the thrones?

>>33321419
>>Show off!

>>33321419
>Show off!

>>33321419
>Show off!
Shax? Miss an opportunity to gloat? Never!

Also, when you get into the interplay of light and shadow, I guess Light and Darkness are really compatible, but if we're speaking figuratively it's the exact opposite.

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>>33321419
Oh Allonces, we love you so.

>>33321419
>>Show off!
How could we not take the opportunity to let others bask in our greatness?

It's almost embarassing how friendly Blaise is getting.

>>33321458
>Is it a boy or a girl? Check!
My initial reading of this was not as a suggestion to see whether the clown is a boy or a girl, but as checking off on a to-do list that the clown is, in fact, either a boy or a girl.

Which also seems appropriately Shax-y.

>>33321419
>Show off!
Uh, they told us that you have to make your domain be sweet when you sit in your chair. If your domain isn't totally sweet, that means the inside of your brain is not totally sweet.

Which is kind of a shame, Blaise. But it's k. You'll get more interesting the longer you travel with us, don't worry.

>>33321519
Shax does keep a journal, right?

How many thrones has Blaise claimed? This is important information that I must know.

>>33321548
I don't think Shax even knows how to write properly.

>>33321571
Thats why she gets Milda to write for her.

>>33321548
Given that our handwriting is basically a war crime, I dunno how useful a journal is going to be.

It'd probably just be a couple crude doodles of Shax standing on a big turtle or interesting animals that she ate or Squidface with his mouthtentacles tied into an adorable bow.

>>33321594
>>33321571
But we could draw a bunch of check marks in it! We'll be super productive.

>>33321561
2

>>33321419
All clowns have no natural gender, but rather they change it to whatever is creepier at the time. That's just basic.

Anyways,
>Show off!

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>>33321571

her journal would just look like this

Anyway, writing!

>>33321642
>Today Allonces was useless!

Pages and pages of that.

>>33321642
That's adorable.

>>33321642
PDF/Ebook where?!

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>>33321642

Hnnggggg

>>33321642
"I'm still the Boss" is actually the entry on every second page, because there is no two-page spread for which "I'm still the Boss" does not remain true and Shax thought it was important that the journal reflect that.

Milda suggested that any subsequent Journals simply be TITLED "I'm still the Boss" instead, effectively doubling the efficiency of Shax's journalkeeping.

>>33321772
>spoiler
That's stupid, what if someone opened a random page? They wouldn't know if Shax was still the boss then. Milda is smart and all, but in the end I guess you need Shax for this kind of proper thinkin'

>>33321827
It's cool; Milda showed Shax that all the proper books (like the ones in the super boring library in Shax's castle domain) usually have the title up in the top margin of the page, and since Shax's journal is definitely important enough to be a real book, the title is going to go on all of the pages eventually anyway.

>>33321952
>Milda turns Shax's journal into a biography about Shax's rise to godhood
>1000+ pages with "I'm the boss" written on them
>Best seller among goblins

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"Are you sure you don't have a castle? Can't you just, like, think about a castle and have it pop up? That's what I did. Though I don't really like castles." You put a finger on your chin and sorta think for a moment, "Mine turned out great, though! It is definitely the best castle."

Arching an eyebrow, Blaise just looks at you. "Have you even seen a castle before? I don't think some uncouth goblin girl who lived in a cave her whole life has seen many."

"Hey! I've blown at least one up!"

Raising her arms in mock defeat, shaking her head and sighing, "Show me this castle, then, if you're so great! I bet it is nothing more than a simple goblin hovel!"

"Fine! I will!" You argue with her the entire trip back to the witch boy's house. You don't even say hi to the boy, and march straight into the cave to your domain. Blaise shuts right up when you're standing on the beach, shimmering tide rolling in and the light glittering on your gigantic crystalline castle.

Putting a hand on her hip, Blaise tosses her hair and looks away from you, "H-hmph. I prefer my castles with buttresses."

"I'm not done yet! You gotta see all the junk I got. It is way too much junk, really." You give her the grand tour of your castle, including showing off the facilities you own. The blacksmith wasn't in right now, you assume taking care of business back in Yselathe, but Blaise was still suitably overwhelmed with how sweet your castle is. You're counting it as a victory!

>Shax: 4
>Blaise: 0
>Mercy Kill Rule Activated! Shax wins!

"Anyway, shouldn't you call your domain over so we can be neighbors?"

"Eehhh?" She looks pretty nervous at the prospect, "H-Hahaha! No it's m-majesty would be too much for you, after all." She looks pretty nervous!

>Make fun of her till she does it.
>Admit you want to see it!
>Act like it ain't no big deal and just go back to town since that will infuriate her probably.

>>33322151
>Admit you want to see it!
Shax and Blaise are 2qt.

>>33322151
>Admit you want to see it!

I'm kinda curious.

>>33322151
>Admit you want to see it!

I really do. Honesty is a virtue!

>>33322151
>>Admit you want to see it!

>>33322151
I wonder what she thought of our primordial forest god.

>>33322151
I almost feel sorry for Blaise. I hope her place isn't too much of a hovel.

>>33322151
"Awwwww come oooooon"

>>33322151
>"I showed you mine, now you gotta show me yours!"

>>33322151
>Admit you want to see it!
Throw in some pouting and puppy dog eyes.

>>33322151
>>Make fun of her till she does it.

Call her a chicken and do the chicken dance until she caves in

>>33322177
Allonces is shipping them already.

>>33322151
>>Admit you want to see it!
She can't resist our charm.

>>33322203
If it is, we'll teach her how to fix it! Just like we taught those circus people. Shax is very forgiving of mistakes.

>>33322203
There's a thing, we can help her find the rest of her thrones. She'd be indebted to us for life! Or she'll be our best friend, one of the two.

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>>33322151
>Admit you want to see it!

Watch, she thinks it's crap compared to ours but to Shax's Goblin brain it's probably pretty neat.

We still won't trade with her, because what's ours is ours.

I wonder what Sinclaire's reaction to Blaise's letter was. Fucking finally?

>>33322203
I don't think it will be a hovel. It won't be a castle either.

Shax has a huge fortress because she's spent her life as a dirt poor cave goblin, but Blaise probably already has a castle. Maybe two.

Her domain will reflect what she truly wants in life. Whatever that is.

>>33322262
What if Shax accidently claims it through uncanny mastery of quasi-magical aetheric demi-planes?

>>33322311
That's super-lewd. No plane-rape please.

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>>33322337
>Planar docking

>>33322151
>Admit you want to see it!
Suggest that the degree of synergy inherent in claiming three thrones of the same element likely has contributed to the degree of control Shax has over her realm and that operating with only two thrones, that don't even match, is gonna be less impressive. Duh.

Comp crashed. Not the best sign!

Anyway, writing.

>>33322151
>Admit you want to see it!

I like this >>33322350
But in gobliny terms.
Shax being surprisingly smart at random times and throwing everyone off-balance is great.

>>33322311
>>33322337
They can share.

>>33322419
B-but that's like marriage!

>>33322404
Inb4 use google docs.

>>33322404
Comp just couldn't handle the cute.

We should hunt down some sword saints while we're in the area. Gotta be the best!