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In order to possess your victim, you must have mouth to mouth contact. Unconsenting victims will result in a temporary time.

>>33275960
Stop breathing and wait for mouth to mouth respiration.

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>>33275990

"Your friend stopped breathing, is she okay?"

"Yeah, she'll be fine. She doesn't have lungs!"

>>33276119
Yorrick: Roll to seduce.

>>33276119
Since we don't have breasts with which to greet the nice man, offer instead to greet him with hot lesbian make-outs with our current companion.

>>33276119
ask fo a kiss

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>>33276246
>>33276252

>I have to apologize for not properly greeting you!
>Perhaps I can offer to kiss my companion here to make up for it?

"Yorick-!!"

>I mean, I've been impolite this WHOLE time! You could of helped me, friend..

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Rolled 1

>Unless you want to help me make up for it, buddy~?
"Well.. Hm."

1- /k/ay complies
2- She rejects
3- /fit/izen does it instead

>>33276915
Dat smile.

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>>33276915

>MFW

>>33276915
I like the direction this is going.

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"You owe me for this.."

>Shut up and pucker up!

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Rolled 1

>Whoopsie~! She must of fainted~!

You are now in possession of /k/ay's body for this set of hours

1, 1 hour
2, 24 hours
3, 75 hours

>>33277621
Make out with lfitlzgerald. Steal his body. Since he'd be willing...

>>33277621
AH! AFTER TEN THOUSAND YEARS I FINALLY HAVE A BODY!!! IT'S TIME TO CONQUER EARTH!!!

>>33277621

Have sex with the /fitguy.

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Rolled 2

>>33277658
>>33277800
>>33277822

Indecisive, rolling.

>>33277800
>>33277930

Conquer the earth on 1 hour is gonna be freaking hard....

>>33277930
Conquer the earth SEXUALLY.

>>33277978
Nah, we just gotta get a permanent body in one hour. THEN we can conquer earth.

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>>33277800

>AH! AFTER TEN THOUSAND YEARS I FINALLY HAVE A BODY!!!
>IT'S TIME TO CONQUER EARTH!!!

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"Lady, you okay?"

People are staring.

>>33278179
Sex him. Sex him hard.

>>33278179
i roll to seduce the guards-i mean random guy

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>>33278216

"W-wait what aRMMMMMf"

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You proceed your sexy assault on the sexy man.

>>33278410
a-are we winning?

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Depends, you tell me.

Looks like he has no objectives to this at all, so you can either make this hour last or we can go ahead and move onto the next character.

>>33278739
Let's see what Garush is up to.

>>33278739
Make the hour last

>>33278739
Yaoi time.

>>33278739
>reverse cowgirl

>>33278739
He has no objectives? You're not trying hard enough.

Give him objectives. SEXY objectives.

>>33279169
/k/ay is a chick.

>>33278855
Seconding to see what our favourite orc is up to.

>>33278739
Seconding >>33279965

>>33275921
Holy shit Teli is back! Get hype.
>>33278739
I know I'm too late, but make him wear a pompadour wig. Find a wig store if you must.

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I need to proofread my posts, meant Objections.

>>33279162
>>33281556

"H-hey, you're growing hair.."

>Yeah, so?

"And.... Do we have to do this here and now?"

5 more posts and we reach /tg/ mainstation.

We arrive

>>33282295
Choke him until climax

>>33282295
>>33282037
This

>>33282295
Bully his penis.

>>33282295
"Don't you want to?"

Commence fucking

And maybe post the images on Imgur, if they're going to get as lewd as I hope.

>>33282295
Toy with his ass.

>>33282295
LET 'ER RIP

>>33282295
Be surprised to find a gun shoved down your panties.

>>33282295
Reach disastrous banshee screaming climax.

>>33282295
Lewd him. Lewd him good and hard.

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4
>>33282474

DON'T MIND IF I DO

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3

>>33283192

"..Zzz.. Bitch..zz"

And so our possessed /k/ay lewded our /fit/izen good and hard.

Continue as:

>Garush
>/k/ay's Conscious
>Neckbeard
>Charm Dealer
>Headless Body of Torpedo Asshole
>A dog

>>33283283
dog dog dog dog dog

>>33283283
DOG

>>33283283
DOG DOG DOG

>>33283283
What time is it?

DOG O'CLOCK

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Updating graphics..

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You are now a dog.

lets make love

>>33283581
Explore surroundings.

>>33283581
Activate dog powers.

>>33283581
Win at life, because you are dog.

>>33283581
Keep doing what you're doing; you're already brilliant.

>>33283581
Burrow into the snow and frolic.

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>>33283612

Make love to who?

>>33283794
A fire hydrant.

the Goddess of love
or a cat

>>33283794
The nearest human leg.

>>33283794
Our quest begins here! Begin sniffing about, doglike.

>>33283877
Seconding.

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>>33283892
>>33284040

Your quest for a human leg had began. There is two familiar scents, both going in an opposite direction.
East or west?

>>33284270
Weast.

>>33284270
pray to the dog gods for guidance

>>33284270
West is best.

>>33284270
Go west, young dog

>>33284347
>>33284384
West? I thought we were supposed to be going Est.

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>>33284330
>>33284384

You head west. The familiar scent is closer now, but what's even closer is this HUMAN leg!

>>33285077
Hump.

>>33285077
Hump dat leg.
Hump it in TECHNICOLOR

>>33285077
Enter cutscene mode for maximum humpery. Spend most of the quest budget on this vitally important transitional scene.

/tg/: Marvel at how beautifully it's all come together.

>>33285077
Become the hero of dogs you are. Become, HORNDOG!

>>33285223
Most importantly, make it a .gif

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>>33285138

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"What the FUCK"

>>33287581
Bite. Bite harder than you ever havebefore.

>>33287581
Just continue humping.

>>33287581
Don't let go! As a dog, you must pursue your dreams! Don't let that human ruin it for you.

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>>33287581

Summon our Stand and Oraoraora fuck of him!!!!

>>33287581
The hump must flow!

Bumpin

>>33287581
Impregnate his leg with your seed!

>>33287573
>doink

That is the most fucking adorable humping sound, goddamnit.

>>33293765
Yeah! It worked for Zeus, right?

Of course, Zeus was a god, and he had another god fetus baby thing /implanted/ in his leg rather than fucked into it, and this all was not done by a dog, so it's a pretty different scenario really.

BUT WE CAN TRY. WE CAN STRIVE TO GO BEYOND.

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>>33287704
>>33287706

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"C'mon you little shitstain let go-"

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"THAT'S IT"
"IF YOU DON'T GET OFF ME RIGHT NOW, I'LL NEUTER YA"

>>33295493

Hump on his other leg.

>>33295493
FOLLOW YOUR DREAMS

>>33295493

Hump his right leg

>>33295493
get off of him
then finish on his face

>>33295493

Make him your bitch

>>33295493
Hump his other leg. Avoid neutering deftly.

>>33295493
Neuter him instead.

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>>33295524
>>33295554
>>33295562

You went on to make love to his other leg, ensuring that will carry your pups too-

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BATTLE INSTIGATED

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This bitch kicked you, you gonna take that?

>>33298640

Rip off his balls!!!

>>33298640
steal his scarf

>>33298640
Castrate him.

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Rolled 2

>>33298830
>>33298924

Rolling for grapple success.

>>33298914

If miss, automatically go after the scarf

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You have stolen your foe's scarf!

>>33299277
Abscond with scarf, then fornicate with it.

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It is your opponents turn.

>>33299314
He got a second scarf under the first one?

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Rolled 14

Your opponent kicks you! Accumulating damage

Rolled 39

>>33299361

Summon our Stand and oraora him!

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Ah fuck I forgot to change the sprite

>>33299339

It is now your turn

>>33299413

Wear scarf, seduce leg while it blows sexily in the wind.

>>33299413
See >>33299304

>>33299413
Naw, you should make our enemy "The Man of Endless Scarves".

Any ways, use Scarf Whip!

>>33299413
Put on the scarf

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Rolled 1

>>33299442
>>33299464
>>33299484

Decisive roll

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>>33299442

You don the stolen scarf and use it to help you seduce that sweet, sweet leg of his.

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Looks like the leg is pretty aroused in your book!

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And it looks like it's about to come over for some hot dog lovin-

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Rolled 25

POW

Accumulating damage

>>33299973
That motherfucker is asking for it.

Get under his cloak and bite his dick.

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Your opponent's turn has already passed, it's your turn now.

>>33300024
>special

>>33300024
Flee the dog-kicker. There is only pain to be found here.

>>33300024

Obviously your beloved (the leg), is being manipulated by that evil man, you must free it from the vile grasp of his pelvis.

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Rolled 2

>>33300034

Here is the list of specials

>>33300070
>>33300116

Rolling

>>33300269
>summon angel

>>33300269
>Summon Angel
ANGELIC HORDES, COME FORTH

>>33300269
Summon our angel, Wings!

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>>33300269
Use Knot to tie him up!

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>>33300300
>>33300302
>>33300548

You have spent all your mana to summon an Angel companion

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"WHAT THE SHIT IS THAT"

Your opponent has went from ENRAGED to SHOCKED! He cannot move for two turns.

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"Alright, what's the problem here?"

It is still your turn.

>>33300713
Wait, he can see our Angel? HE MUST BE AN ANGEL USER TOO!!

Wimper, to tell Wings that the man is our enemy.

>>33300713

"This man has withheld my TRUE LOVE from me, has both threatened and initiated VIOLENCE against my person. In the name of JUSTICE and the PURITY of my love, I have called for your assistance in returning my love to me and punishing this VILLAIN. O' vessel of RIGHTEOUSNESS, allow not this GREAT EVIL from claiming one more victory in his campaign of TORMENT."

Though that all comes out more like, "Arrouou Arrouuuuuu"

>>33300713
>hump angel's leg

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>>33300814

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>>33300738

"Enemy? What did he do?"

>Arouuu..

"But he smells human."

>>33300866
Do a light kick to one of the angel's legs to show what the man did.

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>>33300814

You prepare to hump her leg, but she tells you better not do it else she scolds you hard.

>>33300866
run away

>>33300965
Run around the angel, wait no! Frolic around the angel.

>>33300866

Begin to respond, but, then >>33300814
Look those at those angel gams, they are simply... divine...

>>33300965
Bask in holy presence of the Angel.
Let go of you Arousal. Acquire Enlightement.

>>33300965
Apologize. Then >>33300803

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>>33300965
>>33301005

Rather than enlightenment, we must embody justice! We already have the scarf.

>>33300917
This

>>33300965
Through your frolicking (>>33300988) use dog interpretive dance to express to the angel that the human kicked you.

Then, due to divine proximity, become a canine agent of justice (>>33301176), out to defeat any who may have, say, made deals with demons.

Hey guys, can the angel be our Stand? And can we "call" him Wings ( http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Wings_(band) )?

>>33301701
>him

That's a chick.

>>33301754
Oh, right sorry.

>>33301701
Rather call her "Mr. Mister" so her special can be called Broken Wings.

>>33301841
And when Garush ascends. his will be bokken wings.

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>>33301542

And so you frolicked around the angel, while glancing at her gams. Then you proceed to use dog interpretive dance to explain what the human did to you.

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"Is that so?"

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"Human, why did you kick this dog?"

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"B... Because he... humping... leg..!"

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"Dog, is this true?"
"Did you hump this man's leg?"

>>33302874
Aroo?

>>33302874
Do the angels not give allowance for a dog in love?

>>33302874
What sort of dog would we be if we didn't?

>>33302874
"Aroo Aroo Woof."

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>>33302906
>>33302908

>Aroo?

"Only when said lover is 'consenting',"

>>33302938

>Bark!

"Understandable, but you can't just hump anyone's legs without their okay. It's rude, you know."
"Now go apologize before I get the spray bottle out."

>>33303300
Look really sorry.

>>33303300
Growl

>>33303300
Go towards the man and lay prone.

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>>33303312

"Don't apologize to me!"

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>>33303324

>GRRRRR-

>>33303535
Pee on him and walk away

>>33303535
Go limp.

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"NO! BAD!"

tell her we love her

>>33303596
Yelp and urinate is fear

>>33303596
This isn't even a battle anymore...
FIX IT BY ATTACKING YOUR OWN TAIL! The bastard is always behind you plotting something.

>>33303596
Yip.

>>33303596
Panic. Not the spray bottle!

>>33303596
Apologize to the man.

>>33303596
Attempt to drink the water.

bump

>>33307506
And again!

>>33303596
Collapse on the ground in defeat.

>>33308831
I'll help to!

Bump

bamp

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>>33303634

You try telling her you love her. She sprayed you again.

"Bad! That isn't even your scarf is it? It smells like that human's!"

>>33318319
>He was kicking me!
>I thought if I wore it he'd start to treat me more like a mating partner a I'd look more human

>>33318319
Run away from the evil spray bottle angel trying to steal our scarf!

>>33318319
Return the scarf in exchange for her hoodie.
We dog dress up games now.

>>33318319

>It smells like that human's!

Wait a minute... she is not a angel!!!!

>>33318319
Point out that he kicked us before we took the scarf.

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>>33318406

>Bark bark!
>Baark, arooo!

"... Okay then."
"I still don't think he wanted you to fornicate with you, not like that in the least."

>>33319047
Be apologetic to the guy.

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"Besides, I'm sure he'll forgive you if you just give the scarf back, we can move on with our day. Away from this mess."
"Right, human?"

"I just want to go back inside now, it's fucking cold and I have no arms."

>>33319047
Wait...the angel is wet, but it's not raining...

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>>33319078

Give the scarf back but suggest the angel that she could take his socks and use them as new arms for the armless guy.

>>33319092
All this talk of fornicating probably caused that.

>>33319209
Then lets exploit it!

I'm pretty sure that's just us who is wet. Because of the Spray Bottle of Fuck You.

>>33319078
Give the scarf back then start rolling around.

>>33319342
>Status menu
>On the angel side (See health 500HP)
>Status
>Wet
She wants the D

>>33319490
She's trying to steal our leg!

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>>33319092
No, YOU'RE wet, dog!

>>33319202

You return the man's scarf, and the Angel translated your suggestion to him.

".. Thanks, but I need those to keep my feet warm-"

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>>33319402

Then you started to roll around.

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uh

I'm pretty sure that just shows all statuses for all allies. Hence why it also shows "Aroused" before and after her arrival.

Unsummon angel and live to hump another day.

>>33319490
That's us, you moron. We had the AROUSED status until she hit us with the squirt bottle.

>>33319683
Battle end?

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>>33319726

"Anything else before I go back to my shows?"

>>33320122

Can you teach us psychic powers so we don't run into these misunderstandings again?

>>33320122
I wanna speak every language!

>>33320122
Pop the hood open, yo

>>33320222
Are you fucking stupid? You die if you look under the hood!

Wait, that's angels, right? Or is that weavers?

>>33320122
Give us the hoodie cause we're cold and wanna look cute.

>>33320122
Is this angel referencing something, if so, what?

>>33320122
>>33320215

I want to become a Babel-dog!

>>33320412
Yeah, we interrupted her in the middle of some quality TV time.

>>33320122
I want to see what is under that hood.

And lick it.

Woof.

>>33320122
Well, we could find a DIO lookalike and beat him up.

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Rolled 2

>>33320192

"I'm afraid you're gonna have to earn that right."

>>33320222

"Hmm.."

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"Sorry, buddy, maybe another time. Later!"

>>33320883
Inquire how to earn that right.

>>33321195
Lets try to find a proper offering for an angel.

Bible says that God loves live sacrifices.

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Now what, dog?

>>33321230
>pause
>enter cheat code

>>33321230
Look for vending machine, we need a drink. And >>33321264 use a cheatcode for money.

>>33321230
WE HAVE TO EARN THE RIGHT TO HOLY POWERS!

BETTER START GRINDING EVIL MOBS!

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>>33321316

Or,

We can continue to find love in this cold and windy city.

Or we could shit in someones shoes, as is a dogs birth rite.

>>33321343
Or maybe we can chase a cat.

Whatever makes the most sense.

>>33321230
I guess we could sniff after that one-armed thespian. He may have snacks.

>>33321175
I want floaty eyes, headless angel's legs.

>>33321230
>>33321316

We go find evil and kamen rider the shit out of it, we need a scarf though.

>>33321453
Oh geeze is the dog the opposite of Neckbeard? Why WOULDN'T Neckbeard's nemesis be a mute dog?

>>33321453

But what is evil to a dog?

Spray bottles?
electric fences?
late dinners?
Early Vet Visits?

>>33321510
Legs that remain unhumped.

>>33321510
Legs, dog kickers, cats, the vet

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>>33321264
>>33321280

GAME PAUSED

ENTER CHEAT

>>33321510
There ARE dog eating ducks in the park...

>>33321596
GODLOVEDOGS

>>33321596
SOMEBODYSETUSUPTHEBOMB

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>>33321596

>CHEESE STEAK JIMMY'S

>>33321596
UNLIMITEDBLADEWORK

>>33321596
!!Ml/n5BQQwjE

>>33321596
^ ^ v v < > < > b a start

>>33321596
Up up down down left right left right B A

>>33321596
operation cwal

>>33321596
ITONGUENIGGERANUS

>>33321596
GreedIsGood 1000000

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>>33321596

BUDDHA

>>33321596
Teliisasmeli

>>33321721
dat not noice

>>33321596
J, J, B, A

>>33321596
>giveweapons
>player.additem FFFFFFF 100000000

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>>33321644

>UNLIMITEDBLADEWORK

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>>33321646

>!!Ml/n5BQQwjE

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>>33321648

>^ ^ v v < > < > b a

>>33322351
Seduce Teli.

>>33322351
Rape the Television-person

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>>33321648

>START

>>33322351
oh shit how many of these are you doing

>>33322351
Seduce with a soulful rendition of Old Man River.

>>33322382
Seduce it hard, alpha eyes and everything.

>>33322390
Hump Teli's leg

>>33322435
This anon has it.

>>33322390
Poke floating sword

>>33322450
But is it consensual?

We don't want the spray bottle again. Hey teli, you okay with a god dog humping your leg right?

>>33322390
Get dressed in a bizarre variant of male japanese school clothes.

>>33322410
I like this idea

>>33322390
This >>33322410, and the offer the D.

Wait, did Teli just made his avatar a female TV person?

What

>>33322688
That's just his trip anon.

>>33322688
Teli's trip spawns a telivision.

>>33322688
Teli's drawn her(?)self like that for a while it seems.
http://telivesion.tumblr.com/post/27079018540/huehuehuehue

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I thought it was obvious that I wasn't a dude. I wish I was one though.

>>33322410

>Aroooo roooo rooo rooo roOOOo~
>Bark bark arooo-

>>33323532
I wish you were too.

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Teli has revoked your cheat rights.

>>33323556
Show the cute television who's boss with your penis

>>33323556
Yeah
Yeah that's legit.

Grab a sword, go hunt evil.

>>33323532
Well with finding out that I found that you do more arts.
I was gonna sleep, but shittery fuckery doo you are one of my favorite artists.

>>33323556
Enter the discotheque in your stylin new bod.

>>33323556
WHIMPER!

>>33323601
This, we have hundreds to choose from. Lets do like that guy from naruto, that card from yugioh or the one guy from one piece and wield a bunch of them at once

>>33323556
Too damned meta. Teli, transform the dog into a sentai.

>>33323794
Or just find the biggest one and act like that from that final fantasy game or that other guy from naruto or that guy from beserk.

>>33323927
Turn him into a squadron? How about a masked rider?

>>33323936
Never mind that those swords are too heavy to effectively use for anything other than missiles.

>>33323957
No, he must be legion, he must be many but one!

He must ascend!

>>33323998
Kamen Rider Squadron?

>>33324104
What part of hivemind of justice didn't you get?

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>>33323453
Teli
Teli you are a GODDAM GENIUS

Teli, do you think you're going to do more in this thread before it falls off, or should we archive now?

>>33324969

Sorry, I was away. Is it autosaging?

>>33325632
Yes. /tg/ has the low bump limit.
I won't complain about it though. Keeps cycling out old threads at a good rate for the speed of this board, IMO.

>>33325806
Yeah, someone should probably archive, then.

>>33326110
>>33325806

Go ahead and archive, I'll prepare posts for the next thread.

>>33326272
Somebody beat me to it
http://suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/archive.html?tags=eckbeard+quest

NEW THREAD

>>33327537
>>33327537
>>33327537

>>33326297
New thread
>>33327537