Knight Princess: "You called upon me, your grace?">Knight Princess kneels before her king, her heart beating quickly under her steel plates. Just this morning she had received her first ever summons by the most powerful man around. After months of listless relaxation this was a chance to do something exciting.King: "I did, Knight Princess. I'm sure you've heard by now that the Human Princess, my daughter, has been captured by a foul necromancer and his dragon. The two have been taken away to the evil mage's tower and held captive. We have sent the four generals of the great nations but they have all failed us..."KP: "Did the foul wizard kill them..?"Ki: "Ah, no no. They simply went to the wrong tower and ended up running off with some other princess before they could complete their quest. That is why I am sending you, Knight Princess. I am certain you will not let such a thing distract you... And besides, you were in a similar situation once, many moons ago."KP: "I was. But tell me, what do you mean by wrong tower?"
Ki: "Ah, yes well you see... A while ago it was quite popular for evil wizards to have towers with captured princesses in them. While the mage may sometimes be gone the towers remain and so do the princesses within.""The fiends... Just tell me which one is the tower where your daughter is and I will s-"Ki: "Ah, well, you see... We don't know which tower she's in.""I beg your pardon?"Ki: "When my beloved daughter was taken by the dark dragon I lost track of her. She could be in any number of the towers around here. But don't fear, Knight Princess, for I have a map of mostly all of them.""Mostly?"Ki: "Yes. Here. She could be in any number of these, waiting to be rescued.">The king places a map on the table before the two of them. It's a small map of the kingdom and several towers surrounding it. Each of them seem to have had their surroundings warped by some form of magic. Mountains, volcanoes, desert, bone yards, all of these and more dot the landscape.How on earth did they let this happen.Ki: "Well, Knight Princess, which of these do you think my beloved daughter would be in?"......."Do you have even the slightest idea of which one she might be in? A single clue?"Ki: "Nope."Great.I suppose I'm down to just guessing and hoping for the best.
>>33148926Go North, to the tower by village.Even if it's not the right tower, there are gonna be some villagers you could ask for clues.
>>33148926Kill the King and claim to be his daughter, taking the throne for yourself. You never take off your helmet so no one will ever know. It's the perfect crime!
>>33148926Since the wizard was a necromancer, let's check out the Tower with the skeletons.
>>33148926Volcano towerVolcanoes are awesome
>>33148965Let's do this. Then we can wage war on all the towers and eliminate our "imposter".
>>33148965I support this course of action. A king who lost his daughter doesn't deserve to be a king.
>>33148965Fuck it, why not.
>>33148926Which towers did the generals check?
>>33148926Volcano tower seem like a place where dragon would like to be wround
>>33149012Cut the king some slack. To lose one relative may be regarded as a misfortune. To lose more is a carelessness.
>>33148926I'd say go to the desert one in the top right.>>33149031I would've thought that the one with
>>33148926It was a dragon right?Dragon's like tall things, check out that mountain/volcano
>>33149041>Not usurping the throne using the flimsiest of excuses.
>>33149031From my experience, only draconic sock puppets and golden steering wheels can be found in volcanoes.
>>33149041Oh we will be cutting him something alright.
>>33149071We should listen to this guy. He seems to have a lot of experience rescuing princesses. Kissing them, too.
>>33149071Well, in my you don't what to go anywhere near caves with giant skeletons and wheels.
>>33149071>Orange knightShittiest knight. Blue/Red Masterrace
>>33148965There is no possible way this can go wrong
>>33148965"Your grace, a thought occurs to me... You've lost your daughter to a random mage, didn't keep track of her, and wasted time sending useless generals when you had someone more capable under your command this whole time."Ki: "Well, yes. I know I made some mistakes but I'm hoping you can-""Not only that but you've allowed dark mages to crop up all around the kingdom. Who knows what kind of damage they've done to the land."Ki: "I realize this is a problem but... What are you trying to say?""I'm saying I think it's time you step down from your throne and let someone with real experience take over."Ki: "Wh-">Knight Princess slices his head off.1/2
>>33149134How many princesses have you rescued, though? OK up there has over 3 confirmed rescuings as well as one clown.>>33149141Say what you will, but I'm always a sucker for fire and orange is one of my favorite colors, so for me it goes Orange > Red > Blue > Green.
WE HEROQUEST N--- wait, what?
>>33149175Well, I for one welcome our new regicide overlady
Oh god, the chucklefucks are here.
>>33149278>tower girl faggotry>not expecting chucklefucksThe whole thing was chucklefuckery from the start
>>33149175Alright, it is done. The kingdom is ours by right of 'Person Who Kills The Previous King Becomes The New King'.Now that we have an entire kingdom under our control how do we deal with these towers, evil mages, and the Human Princess?If I'm to be king of this land I would prefer this blight to be gone.
>>33149309You're part of the problem, chucklefuck.
>>33149322Destroy the towers. Declare any princesses found to be traitors to the crown and execute them on the spot.
>>33149322Recruit cute shotas to clear out the towers, and build mighty war machines to destroy the towers once cleared.
>>33149322By advertising them as tourist destinations.
>>33149322Call the meeting of the generals.Have them redeem themselves by reconnaissance mission for all of the towers.Also wipe your blade.
>>33149322Well, there's still the task of rescuing the human princess. The generals have proven their ineptitude, and as they say... when you want a job done well, do it yourself.
>>33149322We may be king-queen by right but we can't expect the populace to follow us unconditionally.First order of business is consolidating control. Let's make our way to one of the towers anyways. The boring generic one to the right I suppose? It's closest. By bringing princesses under us we will have ground to work with and the dragon might come to us where we can fight it on advantage.
>>33149322We shall lay waste to all who oppose such. Begin construction of the siege engines of doom.
>>33149358>>33149366On second thought, execute the generals too for being incompetent rubes.
lead a charge to each tower, save the princess within and have the thing blown to smitheroons.
>>33149373Seconding Lesbian harem time
>>33149322We must deal with the towers one by one. Let's head to the swamp tower to the west, first.
>>33149345>Declare any princesses found to be traitors to the crown and execute them on the spot.That will just invite war from the nations whose princesses you executed, though. Are you sure you want to become a fantasy-Belka?We don't even have the Sword of Tauberg.
>>33149356Forgot to add, charge money for admission. We would make a killing!
>>33149383The generals have all run off, as already mentioned.
>>33149345Time to begin the Reign of Blood.
>>33149322Call for the wizard. Have him change his for to that of the princess you want to... um... wait, nevermind.But call for the wizard anyway.
>>33149406Then we shall slay them and their beloved princesses for treason.
>>33149322Do we have an army? If so, let's get ready to assault the first tower.
>>33149373I'll support this.
>>33149409But blood is good. You need blood to live.
>>33149345No reason to stop the bloodshed now, I guess.
>>33149373I support this idea.
welp, I guess this means there's no point in waiting for Hero Quest
>>33149345Fuck you, no.
>>33149322That law only counts when you conquer the land with an army, not betray your vows.Go cover up the crime, maybe we can put the bloodied sword in the hands of a drunk guard or something?
>>33149347>>33149358>>33149373As the Queen it's important to show all peasants who rule over them.
>>33149322We should find the princess. Having her by our side will strengthen our bloody claim on the throne. And it would be even sweeter if we can recruit the wizard and his dragon. Or slay them if they won't obey their new queen.
So it has come to this.We are voting between lawful evil and chaotic evil.
>>33149345I vote for this.
>>33149466>not just killing them all and adorning your castle with their heads
Look at this massive amount of samefag.
>>33149345God yes. It's beautiful
>>33149504The whole thing has just become a samefag war between two opposing camps.
>>33149478>>33149483>>33149487>>33149493>Four posts on the same minute>>33149504>samefagNewfag is on the menu.
>>33149522>Implying that every vote has to be a samefagWhat are you, some sort of idiot?
>>33149522It's still possible to samefag in under a minute. It just takes a bit of effort.
where all the dragons and giants at
>>33149538Anon seems to be >implying that there is no samefagging because you can post only once a minute.
Larro must be having a hell of a time trying to count this up.
>>33149564Nah, just assume you're running Everyone is John and you're all set.
>>33149545>It's still possible to samefag in under a minuteIt's what what what whatWell shit, at least call a mod
>>33149560What about dragons and giants of the princess variety
The towers shall be destroyed, that will happen regardless. However, I will not destroy the princesses. They are like I was. Helpless and afraid. They have committed no crimes against the people other than being... Well, helpless. Besides, I don't want to start a war with the other nations. I've made one risky move today already.First let me see the state of the army.>Knight Queen covers up the tracks of her murder to make it seem like a horrible horrible accident. When she claims to be the Queen of the land no one seems to really challenge her claim. Or care, really. The guards are just happy that they get the day off to mourn.>Knight Queen calls together her remaining generals so that she can get a feel for how strong the kingdom is.>It's... Less than heartening.>It would appear that much of the King's resources went into buying generals super weapons and then sending them off to these towers. They seldom returned. As a result the kingdom is 300,000 Gold in debt to the Desert King.>Also only two generals remain.>Human General claims that while he was sent to man towers he found no princesses there. None at all. No, those trinkets were not from princesses he bed and then left,why would you think that?>Trap General reveals that he's actually not good at making traps. Or fighting, really. But he's loyal to the crown....I fear we will not get our siege engines anytime soon.And my army consists of a handful of terrible guards and these two.I could have them come with me to a tower or send them off to check out the other ones.I wish the king hadn't wasted so much gold on such stupid things...Now it's up to me to fix it all.
>>33149577Giantess/cannibalism fags please go
>>33149581what about princesses of the dragon and giant variety
>>33149582>Have a threesome with the two generals then leave
Rolled 1>>33149582Ruffle Trap General's hair.
>>33149582Kill desert king to absolve your debt. Execute human general for lying to you
>>33149582... Fuck.Well I guess we better take the two generals (need to watch over the slutty one) to the tower near that village up north. Maybe we can get some taxes or something from them.
>>33149582>>Human General claims that while he was sent to man towers he found no princesses there. None at all. No, those trinkets were not from princesses he bed and then left,why would you think that?But the General is agaisn't pre-martial shrex.
>>33149582Punch Trap General in the snout to establish monarchy.
>>33149582Use the remaining money to recruit many peasants .
>>33149582ATTACK THE TOWERSHEAD ON
>>33149582Castrate human general so that you have him by the balls
>>33149611>Each of them seem to have had their surroundings warped by some form of magic.It's not a real town.>>33149628>In debt>USE THE REMAINING MONEY!What are you, some sort of idiot?
>>33149605critical hair ruffling failureyou have beheaded the trap general
Not that I mind that we ended up with the safe option of getting more information but... were the entire last fifteen minutes worthless?
>>33149582Let's kill two birds with one stone. We'll go looking for the human princess in the towers, and we loot everything valuable we find in them. With luck we'll be able to balance the kingdom's budget as we go.
>>33149650Yes.>>33149603Supporting this.Lets pull a human general and get the fuck out of this kingdom.
>>33149582Bring the two generals with us, we will go assault the north tower.
>>33149582>However, I will not destroy the princesses. They are like I was. Helpless and afraid. They have committed no crimes against the people other than being... Well, helpless.Behead yourself for cowardice
>>33149648Then we start selling the former king's stuff.
>>33149582Have the generals scout out two towers, and take one yourself
lock human general up and torture him. let trap general have his way.
>>33149607>kill Desert King>the one who got all that money to buy a fuckhuge army>ignore all logic and consequences just to do whatever you wantGo play on a freeform forum, they seem more your style.
>>33149582Rescue princesses and awkwardly inform them you, too, are a princess.Send them to towers you are not visiting yourself for maximum rescue.
>>33149603Lets do this and get moving.
>>33149582>That Trap GeneralMake the guy our Equerry, let him take care of kingdom in our absence, tell him to focus on getting economy back on its feet so we can start repaying the debts. Hug him and ruffle his hair to ensure loyalty!Human General seems more capable in combat, so he's gonna accompany us on exploratory journey. We leave tomorrow, aim for the closes tower, than the one beyond and keep going until we gat what we're after.
>>33149607>>33149622I'll support these
Wonder if Larro will leave it considering how shit this thread is.
>>33149582>Incapacitate the Human General, strip him of everything he has, then give him to the Desert King as a first payment of the debt (if the King doesn't accept slaves, sell the General to someone else)>Task the Trap General to see if there isn't potential allies nearby
>>33149725Trap general is a woman, idiot. Trap princess is the dude.
>>33149582At least torture them a lil and then ransom them if you're not going to kill them
>>33149737>Trap General reveals that he's actually not good at making traps. Or fighting, really. But he's loyal to the crown.If he speaks of himself as "he", I'm gonna call him he, whatever there is or isn't in his pants.
>>33149725I'm ok with doing that with Trap General, but Human General is a shady dude who probably deserve to be sold off to repay the kingdom's debt
>>33149582Before you leave for the rescue expedition, hire an alchemist to create gold. Lots of gold to fix the treasury's balance. Don't worry about inflation, it is just an abstract concept cooked up by pussy-footed economists.
>>33149777>If he speaks of himself as "he"Duh, because he is a trap. Fucking idiot.
>>33149607I would be slaughtered before I could even raise my sword. I'm starting to think it was only this easy because the king was an old man, had no army, and wasn't even well guarded. Also, no one seems to like him.And let's -not- kill the remaining men that my new army has left. Not until they display betrayal or something as terrible.>>33149603...Another time. I need to focus on my work.>Knight Queen talks with her Generals well into the night. She has Trap General watch over the kingdom while she's gone. He's most likely useless for combat but he seems to know more about the kingdom than anyone else. His job is to get the economy back on track and keep people from rioting until her return.>Human General, despite his illicit activities, will accompany Knight Queen to the castle. His strength will prove helpful there. Or he can at least be sent in to see if a room is trapped or not.>The next morning Knight Queen and Human General set off to the nearest tower. The tower is located in the middle of a village that appears to be completely vacant. The fields are untended and wild animals roam about.>Knight Queen goes up to the tower and slowly opens the door. Inside the air is stale and cool.Hmm. Perhaps it's abandoned?
>>33149777Amen.On other news, do we begin an harem of princesses, or not?And who the fuck were our parents, given the fact that's we were a princess?
>>33149834"HEY BITCH, YOU IN HERE?"
>>33149834Check the room.Or just run when there are less morons around. If it ever happens.
>>33149834>Perhaps it's abandoned?Probably. Just bulldoze it and move on to the next one
>>33149834Send the human general in first. Explore the tower from cellar to top. Loot anything valuable.
>>33149858Best adventure ever.
>>33149834>Explore the tower entirely. The Human General checks anything that could be dangerous.
>>33149834There's obviously another door right there, open'er up and head on in
>>33149858>Bulldoze it>With your entire 5 guards and 2 generalsCongratulations, you're clinically retarded or illiterate.
>>33149777>>33149836Go away tumblr.
>>33149834Notice hole in the corner to your left and pressure plate in front of the door. The room is double trapped. And not in the kinky way.Go outside, pry 11ft pole off some tree and trigger the traps from safe distance.Or just send in Human General if you don't like the guy.
>>33149867This is good. We need all the cash we can get.
>>33149834Explore through the tower.
>>33149834Well, check the top to make sure whatever princess in here isn't just a skeleton.If the princess was abandoned for so long she was a skeleton, pretend you never saw this place and leave.
>>33149834It looks like there is either a tripwire in front of the opposite door, or some kind of hole in the wall. Also, there might be a trap door right in front of the opposite door. Proceed with caution.
>>33149881> what is gunpowder attached to the base of a small, vertical buildingAnd you call others clinically retarded
>>33149834Is that a pressure plate AND a tripwire?>>33149906Where you going to get it?You're the equivalent of several million in debt and you're not exactly the best alchemist.
>>33149905It's obviously a pressure plate, dumbass. Look at the Grey lines in front of the door.
>>33149834What's up with that weird corner to the left of the door? Is there a small passage back there?
>>33149922What makes a pressure plate any more likely than a trap door?
>>33149834Let's go back out, get a 15-foot pole, and poke at that pressure plate in front of the door.Or, ask Human General if he's any good at disabling traps.
>>33149834Go stick your eye in that hole and see what's inside
>>33149932The stairs up, I bet
>>33149950Bolthole in the wall, idiot.
"HEY! You in here!?">A voice from far above yells for help but Knight Queen is too far away to make it out. Still, there is someone here!>And anyone else who was here is now aware that Knight Queen is here.>>33149920>>33149922>>33149905"General, go in and explore it for me. Be careful of those traps."HG: "I see them, your grace.">The Human General steps into the tower and slices the tripwire. A bolt of energy slams into where he would have been had he simply walked forward.HG: "Do you want me to try and just open the door? I see the pressure plate but I can't tell if the door itself is trapped."
>>33149980You got gloves, right Human General?Stand to the side of the pressure plate, open the door with a gloved hand.
>>33149980Quot being a pussy and open that door, meatshield!
>>33149980Open the door, but stand on its right side.
>>33149980Get the 21-foot pole.
>>33149980Have him use is swords to knock on the door from a distance. Maybe the princess inside can open it safely
>>33149980>Do you want me to try and just open the door?Yes.
>>33149980Tell him to kick it in.
>>33149980Knight Queen should exit the room, and Human General should open it form the right/left side of the door
>>33150009Drat... I forgot mine."Go ahead. Just be careful, maybe open it from the side. I'll be over here.">Knight Queen steps out of the room as Human General opens the door...>Nothing seems to happen.>The two of them breathe a sigh of relief and head further up the tower.>They end up in a new room that seems rather bare save for a chest and a single door in front of them.
>>33150080Send HG to get loot.
>>33150080Grab chest. Any chest, really.
Rolled 18>>33150080OPEN THE CHEST
>>33150080"Throw your sword at the chest"
>>33150080The chest must be trapped. Tell the human general to smash its side open, without opening the lid. And check for tripwires again.
>>33150080The chest is likely trapped.We'll come back for it later. Have HG examine the door for traps, then open it.
>>33150080Isn't that the Mimic Princess?
>>33150080Poke the chest with a sword before you tell human General to open it.
>>33150080that chest is obviously a mimic princess
>>33150080>chestSo we go past it and make Mimic Princess mad we ignored her, rightBut really, go to the door.
>>33150080HEY ARE YOU IN THE LOOT BOX?If they're not in the loot box, consider recovering it later.
>Knight Queen walks up to the chest and pokes it a few times to see if it's trapped. Nothing seems to spring out at her.>She steps back and orders Human General to open the chest. Using his blade he flicks the lid open.>It barely moves up half an inch before it suddenly snaps open. Long black arms slide out of the chest as it opens up. Rows of razor sharp teeth are inside .That is no princess!
>>33150080Check the ceiling?
>>33150157stab that shit in the eyes
>>33150157"I'll leave that to you shall I?"
>>33150157...Stab it in the eyes?
>>33150157Give it a high five.
>>33150157A regular mimic, then?Alright, let's kill it.
>>33150157Kill it with fire.
>>33150157Both leave the room quickly, jump over the trap door, presumably mimic will follow you, step on it and fall down.Failing that, fight it. Let General draw its attention while you backstab it. Gank it two on one like that. It's not about fighting fair it's about winning.
>>33150157WHAT IF IT'S A MIMIC PRINCESS!?
>>33150157Walk like, three feet away.That thing has NO LEGS.at most it can bounce at you menacingly at an extremely slow rate.It also can't fit through the door.
>>33150244This is not a monster musume quest... so we slay it.
>>33150157Kill the mimic for the phat lewts it drops. I think it should have pretty nice treasure table.
>>33150157Hit it on the head to assert dominance
>>33150157Ask if it's the princess.
>>33150157Club it until it stops moving
>>33150168>>33150179>>33150186"Kill it!">Human General swiftly stabs the thing in it's eye. It howls in pain as blue blood pours from it's wound. After a few minutes of thrashing the thing falls limp, dead.>Knight Queen manages to get G10 and a Potion of Cure Moderate Wounds from it's corpse!???: "Help..!">The cry for help is closer now...>Knight Princess and Human General go to the next room.1/2
>>33150296> blue bloodIt was royalty!
>>33150296Red? Was there a person inside the Mimic?
>>33150296>Knight Queen bursts into the next room."Princess! I've come here to save you!"???: "My h-h-heroooo~"
>>33150322Oh god, we just killed mimic princess
Is this Larro?
>>33150346>ditching your helmetShamefur dispray.
>>33150346Mimic princess!Do not eat us when we rescue you!
>>33150346Was the Mimic outside perhaps a knight from her country sent here to save her?>>33150353Yarp
>>33150346Watch out! That's no human princess!>>33150353Check the trip
>>33150346>those beady eyes>that fanged dressITS A TRAP!
>>33150346Oh god it's a mimic.
>>33150296Send General first
>>33150346Tell Human General to rescue his princess.
>>33150346"Hello Mimic Princess, how do you do?"
>>33150346"Sorry we killed your friend outside. To be fair he was kinda a dick."Then mac on her before that dick Human General can
>>33150366Hopefully not, since it kind of just attacked us unprompted.
>>33150346Give the princess warm welcome from safe distance and offer to relocate her to her country of origin or to your palace.
>>33150399Well, I mean, it was a Mimic. They aren't known for intelligence or resisting instinct.
>>33150346It's a Mimic Princess!Which either means it's a mimic imitating a princess, or Mimic Royalty! Which means that initiating a hug could be deadly or waaaay too forward.Is there such a thing as a mimic kingdom? If she proves to be too difficult to handle, they might pay a healthy ransom for her.
>>33150346Escort her to your country of origin.Try not to stare at her giant dress-face.
>>33150390>>33150346Okay let's shoot straight...you're Mimic aren't you?
>>33150346Kill that mimic until it dies
>>33150444This. Mimics are gross
>>33150346>Scared of mimicsTell her you know she's not what she seems, but that's okay. Offer to take her home, or adopt her.
....She looks like a normal girl to me.>Human General begins to make his way towards the Princess but Knight Queen shoves him back."Unfortunately you are not the princess we're looking for. However, we have still come to save you and destroy this tower. Princess, would you mind accompanying us back to my kingdom? We will inform your kingdom that you have been saved once we are there.">The Princess stares off dumbly for a few seconds before she finally replies. She seems to stumble over her words as though talking requires a bit of effort from her.???: "My b-brave hero... Wouldn't you l-l-like to ressst? I have a comfffortable bed over here. You can ssssleeeep. I will keep you c-company."......I'm starting to get some bad vibes from this."Are you a mimic?"???: "Of coursssse not. I am a p-p-princess."
>>33150500>>33150498>>33150444>Wanting to bring this much trouble to youJesus Christ.Stop.
>>33150500>>33150498>>33150444>Wanting mimics to infest your castles, home and everything elseKeep her alive.
>>33150515Burn it. Burn it all.
>>33150515"You're the princess of the Mimics""Either we can take you home or we can leave you here, again, your choice."
>>33150515Hook her up with Trap General. They'll be great together.
>>33150515Look. I am like 90% certain your are a mimic princess.Also, it's the middle of the day. I'm not remotely tired.Can you just come clean with us, and then tell us where to bring you to rescue you properly?
>>33150515Drag her back to the kingdom.Next tower we go!
>>33150515Okay, that bed is definitely a mimic.Maybe you should just focus on knocking the tower down right now.
>>33150515Everything is mimics in this goddamn tower. Kill the bed to show we mean business, then threaten the mimic princess and ransom her to the mimic kingdom.
Rolled 3, 4 = 7>>33150515Look at the teeth on her robe.That's a mimic.
>>33150515Ask if there are any more princesses in the tower.
>>33150515"Well, you can be both minic and a princess. I'm not judging or anything."Also I think that bed just blinked.
>>33150555>Everything is mimics in this goddamn tower.The tower is a mimic! The trapdoor is its mouth!IT ALL MAKES SENSE NOW!
>>33150515>Pretend to sleep.>Overpower her when she tries to eat us.>Teach her a lesson.We're stronk!
>>33150584The bed is a mimic too.
>>33150555But anon what if the tower itself is also Mimic?
>>33150592Then we teach them both lessons.
Rolled 2, 3 = 5>>33150593Jesus Christ.What if the whole landscape is a giant Genus Loci?
>>33150515"Thank you, but it wouldn't be safe to sleep inside an unfamiliar tower. I must insist that we return you to your kingdom."
>>33150515Look, it's obvious you're a mimic, and so is the bed.If you've got a kingdom, I'll return you, but don't insult my intelligence like this.
>>33150515Pat her on the head but tell her that there's no time to dilly-dally. Does she want a ride home or what?
>>33150563>>33150568..."That bed is a mimic too, isn't it."???: "Of courssse not. It it it is simply a comffortable bed for us to l-lay in and h-hold hands.">Knight Queen walks up to the bed and stabs it. It screeches in pain and trashes about for a while before dying."..."MP: "... Okay y-y-you caught usss... I am M-m-mimic Princess. Please d-do not k-kill me.""I won't but don't try to insult my intelligence like this. Now, do you have a kingdom that I can return you too?">It shakes it's head."Great. Are you even really a princess or are you just mimicing one?"MP: "M-m-m-m-""I get it. Alright, any other mimics around?"MP: "...""Well?"MP: "... The entire t-t-tower.""..."
>>33150680Grab mimic princess, hightail it out.I guess bring the general too.
>>33150680GODDAMN CALLED IT
>>33150680Tell mimic priestess it is now our treasury-guard, leave.
>>33150680Hold your sword to her neck and use her as a hostage while you escape.Or her waist, since that might not be her actual head.
>>33150680Aren't you bored of sitting around waiting for adventurers to lure? Join me, I need attack beasts to eat my enemies, and you can see the world, there are so many gullible idiots you could consume that would never have come to the tower.
>>33150680"Hey Mimic, if you come with me I'll let you eat more people"
>>33150680Burn the whole tower down. Her too. She isnt even a real princess.
>>33150733This could work.
>>33150680"Here's the plan. You're a mimic, so you can speak with other mimics right? So now we go outside, you tell the Tower to move to another country. If it doesn't, we will have it sieged down in couple days, either way, I want it gone off my land. You go with me. I'm gonna accomodate you in palace treasury. You get to eat everyone that goes there, except for once cute boy that's my Equerry. Deal?"
>>33150720Better yet, relocate her to our own treasury at the royal castle.
>>33150680Have you guys considered methods of living that aren't based on tricking people into letting you eat them?Like, say, cattle ranching?
>>33150754This. We save princesses, not monsters.
>>33150777>inviting a human-eating monster into our castleThis is a questionable idea.
>>33150789It'll be fine.
>>33150777Yeah, when the creditors come to collect the kingdom's debt, she can just eat them. Budget balanced.
>>33150680Ask her why she eats people so much. I mean, we can eat bunches of stuff that aren't people.Maybe put a "warning: mimics" sign outside the tower.
>>33150680Just burn the place down.Burn it all.
>>33150818This. Fire is your only friend.
>>33150818But Mimic Princess is the best. Why would you do that?
"Here's the plan. You're a mimic, so you can speak with other mimics right? So now we go outside, you tell the Tower to move to another country far far away. If it doesn't, we will have it sieged down in couple days. Either way, I want it gone off my land. You go with me. I'm gonna accommodate you in palace treasury. You get to eat everyone that goes there, except for that one cute boy that's my Equerry. Deal?">The mimic is silent as she contemplates your offer. You can almost literally see the gears turning in her dim mind.>Finally the dress gives a wide grin and the princess half nods.MP: "D-d-deal.">The three of you leave the tower, sidestepping any traps that they came across earlier. Once outside the Mimic Princess stares at the tower intently. Knight Queen hears a low rumbling sound as the tower slowly moves.That works for me. Now, if she didn't have anything good to offer me I'd kill her but I can't think of a better treasurer than a mimic.>The Mimic Princess holds out a small box to Knight Queen.MP: "Thank y-y-you for not killing meee. Thisss is for y-you. If there isss something you need and I h-have it just pull it from the b-box. No matter how f-f-far away we are you will g-get it."Oh, sweet. An Artifact.This wasn't a complete waste of time.Alright, where too next?
>>33150680>Acquire mimic treasury guard.>Acquire sentient fortress.>???>Become unstoppable.
>>33150849That artifact is probably a mimic, open it up to check.
>>33150849The forest tower to the north west!
>>33150849Uhh...Which place were we on the map?
>>33150849Lick the drool from her false, human mouth. Mimic ooze makes for a great energy drink!
>>33149462Jesus she is old as fuck. I never really noticed till just now.
>>33150891She Is Eternal.
>>33150906Go northwest.Let's finish this part of the map first.
>>33150906I'd say the tower on the left corner.
>>33150906Lets go to Flaot Tower.
>>33150891I've always wondered what her reaction would be towards Hellsing Ultimate Abridged's portrayal of her. Probably offended.
>>33150849What do you even like doing other than trapping people, mimic?Also what is your name?
>>33150906North-West forest tower.
>>33150949The Queen doesn't get mad.She has people to get mad for her.
>>33150965she's obviously Mimic Queen, since this quest follows a certain naming pattern.
>>33150906Northwest Tower. From there, you can go all the way left to the NE tower, hitting the Lava Tower along the way. Then you can go SW from the lava tower to hit the Mountain Tower, traveling on the road to the water tower and to the other towers on the SW portion of the land. Then you can go east from there to hit up the remaining towers. If you travel in this fashion, you will be able to hit up each tower in one circuit and minimize traveling off-road/backtracking, excepting any unforeseen encounters or detours.
>>33150906Might as well go to the forest tower, now that we're here.Might find some elves.
>>33151001Or a Dryad Princess
>>33150989but she's not a princess!
>>33151019No such thing. Consult the chart.
"So what's your name, miss?"MP: "M-mimic P-p-princess.""Of course. Alright, Human General, take her to the castle. Don't sleep with her."HG: "Of course not, your grace.""Seriously." She lowers her voice to a whisper. "She may have teeth -there-"HG: "I... I see..."That should stop him.>The group splits up and Knight Queen goes to examine the forest tower. The land around it is covered in dense woods but there are surprisingly few animals scattered about. There are puddles of water all around but not a cloud in the sky.Hasn't rained in weeks, too.>The tower stands in the center of the forest but there is no door, simply a trail of vines leading upward.Hmm. I've never been the best at climbing these things.>Climb the vines roll 1d20.>Come back another time.>Other.
>>33151031THEN THE CHART IS INCOMPLETE!
>>33151049>>Come back another time.I want Flaot Tower
Rolled 8>>33151049>>>Climb the vines roll 1d20.DESHI DESHI BASA BASA
Rolled 3>>33151049>>Climb the vines roll 1d20.
Rolled 12>>33151049>>Climb the vines roll 1d20.
Rolled 15>>33151049Rolling to climb. If we fail, we burn the vines down. And the forest.
Rolled 1>Climb the vines roll 1d20.>>33151049
Rolled 8>>33151049CLIMB, MONKEY!
>>33151049>>Other.Walk around it couple times, poke bricks to see if one doesn't reaveal secret entrance.Climbing alone and unsecured is a good way to get yourself killed in a slippery accident.
>>33151049>That should stop him.Next time we see him will be with a bleeding bandaged crotch.
>>33151100Well, THAT should stop him for sure.
Rolled 13>>33151111Don't count on it
>>33151049Just leave it alone. Maybe you can find a grappling hook later.
>>33151078>>33151085>>33151073>>33151068>>33151067Nice rolls m8's
>>33151049>Take a jetpack out of the box
>>33151049There's a ton of wood around, how long would it take you to construct a ladder?
>>33151049Wait a second... Rapunzel?
>The Knight Queen tries to climb the vines numerous times but each time she slips and falls into the hard earth....Perhaps I should not climb in armor...???: "Excuse me, Sir. You look like you could use some help there."1/2
Rolled 18>>33151139You can't give us a chance to roll dice and expect us not to take it
>>33151172>Knight Queen turns and sees a woman watching her struggles from behind a bush. She has an amused smile on her face and tilts her head.???: "It's not easy to get up there, Sir.">Knight Queen notices a crown upon the girl's head.A princess..? But she's not the right one, I think... She has purple hair."Who are you?"???: "Just a stranger passing by. Couldn't help but hearing your armor slamming into the ground. Need a lift? I can get you up there.""Sure."???: "But.""But?"???: "If I help you up there I want you to let me talk to the Princess up there.""Huh? Can't you just do that on your own?"???: "Haha, she doesn't like me very much. Every time she sees me she locks herself away. But if you could lure her out then maybe I can finally chat with her. What do you say?"
>>33151182Dammit, where was your roll when we needed it?
>>33151223Why doesn't she like you? You're not gonna kill her or do anything indecent to her without her consent, right?
>>33151223Sounds like a plan.
>>33151223Sure thing inconspicuous humanoid princess!
>>33151223"Are you, by chance, a spider?"
>>33151223Holy shit this princess a QT.>Ask what manner of creature she is. But in a non-accusatory manner.
>>33151244Wow fugg off metagamer
>>33151223She looks legit
>>33151259Eyesight is metagaming?Was our protagonist ever specified to be visually impaired?
>>33151223>She has an amused smile on her face and tilts her head.Anime adaptation by Shaft confirmed.>>33151223>What do you say?Sure, you can talk to her. But please don't attempt to harm her or anything.
>>33151223"I think that depends on her, but I'll put in a good word for you."
>>33151223Why does she lock herself away?What will you talk about?If you're a mimic I swear to my sword I will cut you
>>33151313Wrong kind of head tilt. Think less SHAFT and more ara ara~
>>33151223I don't mind, so long as you don't do anything horrible.
"Sure but just don't hurt her or anything."???: "I won't~">Knight Queen spots a rather large mass behind the princess. Far too big to be anything human."... Miss, are you a spider?"???: "Hahaha~">She leaps out from behind the bush and in one swift motion grabs Knight Queen and tosses her onto her... Cephalothorax?DP: "I'm a Drider. Now, stay quiet.">She begins to silently ascend the tower.1/2
>>33151369>driderI know this is autistic as all hell but it drives me up a wall when I see that term applied to anything but drow spider people.
>>33151369I know one shouldn't make comments about lady's derrière, but damn, she's a qt.
>>33151402What else would you call them?
>>33151369Wait, why are we sneaking?
>>33151369>The two of them reach the top of the tower and peer in.DP: "Remember, don't tell her I'm here...">Knight Queen sees someone inside laying down on a bed."Princess?">The girl suddenly sits up an seems to face the window.???: "D-drider Princess? Go away! I told you I don't want to talk to you anymore!"DP: "I'm not here." The Princess whispers. "Get her to come closer so I can talk to her."
>>33151432Not our tower
>>33151433Tell her you're not drider princess, ask why she doesn't want to see DP any more.
>>33151433What's the deal with you and drider princess?Also, do you need to be rescued? I'm totally doing all of the rescuing.
>>33151433no, I am the knight queen.
>>33151433"Why can't you talk to her from here?"Then, to the other princess, "Excuse me, princess, do you need help getting out of here?"I don't want to get best princess eaten
>>33151433Ask her about Drider Princess.
>>33151433"Greetings, my name is Knight Queen and I came to rescue you should you desire to be rescued, that is. May I know your name? Also what's your beef with D-drider Princess, whoever that might me? "
>>33151426Arachne seems to be a popular choice.
>>33151432If the girl inside knew DP is coming, she'd freak out.
>>33151433...Is your head levitating?
go inside and say you aren't drider princess
>>33151473>I don't want to get best princess eatenI doubt anything can eat spider princess>>33151474This
>>33151433Can you tell by the shape of the shade of her form who she is? Ant princess?
>>33151433Climb in the window.Go talk face to face.
>>33151503>I doubt anything can eat spider princessDragon Princess? Slime Princess? Mimic Princess?
>>33151531>Dragon Princess? Venom>Slime Princess? Too slow>Mimic Princess?Too small and easily bound.
"Greetings, my name is Knight Queen and I came to rescue you should you desire to be rescued, that is. May I know your name? Also what issues are you have with this Drider Princess?"??? "A knight..?""Yes.">She gives Drider Princess a one moment gesture and steps into the tower.>The curtain surrounding the bed opens up revealing a... Giant bug.IP: "Oh brave Sir Knight. I am Insect Princess. I have waited oh so long for a dashing knight to climb my tower and rescue me. This is just like the books I read. First you carry me off my bed, down the tower, and then we human kiss romantically."..............
>>33151369It's just a thorax. It's not a cephalothorax unless it's fused with the head.
>>33151558"I apologize, I am a she."
>>33151558Fuck that shit, just give her to drider princess.
>>33151558I have to break it to you know.I'm already a queen.Which means I'm married.Also my dashing steed to get here was drider princess.
>>33151558"Yeah, no. Let's go."
>>33151558I apologize, I am not sure my strength is sufficient. Now, what was your issue with drider princess?
>>33151558Rescue her valiantly. If possible.Look, I got up here by riding a spider, I may need to get down the same way to rescue you.
>>33151558"I appreciate the offer, but I believe it's best to rescue you and return you to your people. The woods can be dangerous."
>>33151576This. I aint havin no bug bits up near my face and/or crotch bits.
>>33151558we have no time for this, we have a human princess and a kingdom to save.
>>33151576>>33151582>>33151601Murdering princesses is not good.
Uh her family is gonna be after us if she gets harmed guys.
>>33151618We aren't doing anything ourselves, just...letting nature take its course.
>>33151558Princess carry her out. Promise she can human kiss our dashing human general when we get back.
>>33151576I'm all over this. Mostly because I hate mantids
>>33151571Lets just go with this.If she complains we'll just leave.
>>33151558"How did you come to be in this tower? Is this an elaborate matchmaking scheme?""Speaking of which, what's been happening between you and Drider Princess?"
>>33151649>If she complains we'll just feed her to DriderFTFY
>>33151636>>33151571I can compromise with this.
>>33151558"Rescue is guaranteed, kissing is a maybe. You see, the last person who suggested that actually wanted to bite my face off, so I'm a bit hesitant in that regard. Also I happen to be a lady. Knightly occupation is all for equal opportunities these days."
>>33151638sorry I'm an idiot. shutting up now.
>>33151558"Drider Princess, are you sure you aren't trying to eat her?"
Guys, she knows we are a lady. We said we are Knight QUEEN, after all.
>>33151558"I hear mantises eat their lovers after sex, so...no."
"Princess, I will rescue you just like your stories but I'm afraid you must know that I am a female."IP: "That's fine! I don't have a gender!""... Second I'm a bit hesitant about getting you mandibles near my face."IP: "I'll be gentle~""Third, I used Drider Princess to get up here."IP: "What!? Y... You said she wasn't here...""I said I wasn't her.">Drider Princess pops up from the window.DP: "Aww, why'd you have to tell her?"IP: "Get out of here! I hate you!"DP: "I just wanna talk~"IP: "You bit me last time you said that!"
>>33151699Well maybe she's just not entirely clear on how humans work. If all she knows about us is from romance books she might as well assume we reproduce by kissing and holding hands.
>>33151736"I will ensure that she cannot harm you. Please hear her out, at least."
>>33151736Ah, lover's quarrel.Check the place for loot while they argue.
>>33151736Wait, how is she a princess if she doesn't have a gender?Shouldn't she be capable of laying eggs?
>>33151736oh great, a lovers' spat.
>>33151736Drider, no eating contemparies. Either marry her so you can legally eat her, anyway you like, or leave. Bug princess, I want the reward from getting you out of here
>>33151736"Well, she can't bite you now, I'll make sure of that. Now what was it you two wanted to talk about? Unless it was just a thinly veiled excuse for biting of a non-romantic variety, hmm?"
>>33151736Wait, if she isn't female she cant be a princess. You dont have to rescue this one. Just tell her you will be knocking this tower down in a few days so she needs to find somewhere else to live.
>>33151790Go with this. God I love loopholes
>>33151806No, rescue means a reward and xp.
offer to mediate between the two of them, if insect princess agrees to talk with drider princess we will intervene if drider princess gets bitey.also make sure drider princess understands that while being kinky is fine, its not cool to make your partner unconformable or force something someone isn't into onto them.
>>33151736Drider princess, is it true you bit her?Why would you do that?And I -am- here to rescue you, ant princess, just... I can't climb well.
>>33151821If we give Bug to Drider, we get a reward from D and get to loot Bs tower. Best end
>>33151822I like this.
Was afk for a moment. Writing now.
Our next plan should be to build a tower, pretend to be a princess and see if Human General comes for us.T-To test his loyalty, alright?
>>33151899Didn't we want to get rid of towers just a little while ago?
>>33151899We've already been rescued from a tower as a princess.
>>33151899>Human GeneralBut we don't have shit taste.
>>33151899>being a tsundere faggotNo. We honestly should've kept Mimic Tower around as our only tower once we destroyed all the rest and let it devour anyone dumb enough to stuff a princess in it and then spit out the princess near our castle. It would really streamline this whole tower rescue bullshit so we could get back to our hobbies, like beheading kings and polishing our armor.
>>33151981Why not have mimic tower eat yhe other towers? Would have saved the cost of siege engines.
"Hold on. Drider Princess, why did you bite Insect Princess?"I know she's not really a girl but... I guess she's princess of whatever land she's from? That counts.DP: "It was just a little love bite."IP: "That hurt!"DP: "Sorry~ Come on, Insect Princess~ I promise I won't do it again~"IP: "No! Knight, get rid of her right now!"DP: "Hey, Knight Queen. If you help me out here I'll give you a super awesome item."IP: "S-sir Knight! Surely you can not consider such a thing!""..."IP: "I have an army you can use! My family is quite large! We can help you!"DP: "Super awesome artifact~"
>>33152012Lets go artifact. Drider time!
>>33152012"Can't we all just be friends?"
>>33152012Ask DP if she's really sorry.Ask IP if she thinks she might be overreacting a little.
>>33152012No. None of this. You two, get along!
>>33152012Give them both a flick on the forehead, tell DP to apologize, tell them to get along.
>>33152012Take both under your protection, as hostages/guests. Use the political position thus bestowed to secure both their respective boons.
>>33152012Side with the Dride...r.
>>33152007This too. Maybe we should tell her to bring it back after all.>>33152012Spider >>> Bug.
>>33152012"First of all, could you both tell me, in clear and comprehensible fashion, what exactly do you want of each other and why you can't go with what the other wants?""Assuming the Drider Princess really is just kinky that way, because is she actually wants to eat you I can already see how that's not acceptable."
>>33152012Tell Drider Princess that she's avoiding the question. WHY did she bite IP? If for food, say that she can eat all of our enemies that she would like if she comes with us. As for IP, I guess say that we can keep her safe in our castle with actual guards rather than just a tower.
>>33152012Just fuck already.
>>33152012I still say we play mediator, explain to insect princess that some people think biting is sexxy, then explain to drider princess its uncool to force a kink on someone. insect princess seems interested in romance, so if we explsin thats what the biting could have been about she might be willing to talk, it seems like drider princess might just be too pushy. if we can convince her to not do anything to insect princess she would be uncool with we could probably talk this out.
>>33152012Ask what the artifact is. Our kingdom really needs an army.
>>33152012"Artifacts are cool, but I could really use an army. Why can't you two just make up and make out, and give me both?"
"Alright, hold on you two. It seems you both have some issues that need resolving. Insect Princess, you gotta know that some people think that biting is a sign of affection. It's entirely possible that Drider Princess likes you."IP: "R-really..?""Yes. She's being a bit pushy but... Well, that's how some people are. She may just be trying to act playful with you. You may want to give her another chance."IP: "I... Maybe...""And Drider Princess, you're nipping at her because you're being playful, right?"DP: "Nah. I wanted to eat her.""......">Knight Queen dismisses Drider Princess and carries Insect Princess down the tower on her back. When the two reach ground Insect Princess bows and makes happy chittering noises.IP: "Thank you so much for rescuing me, Knight Queen. My family shall serve your kingdom forever.""No problem."There are some lines I won't cross. Like having horrible beasts eat innocent creatures. If she were to try, say, robbing my treasury then that's fair game.IP: "Now that I am free from my tower can we human kiss?"
>>33152332No. No kissing. I dont do bug parts.
>>33152332Not with an audience.
>>33152332Trap general, I have need of your services. Take on this gender-neutral creature as ambassador to the bug kingdom
>>33152332Yell at DP that she's free to tag along and eat our enemies if she'd like. Hell, since we are raiding castles, there's probably a bunch of variety of delicious things to sink her teeth into.Give the poor girl a peck and say that you'll give her a better kiss when she gives us an army.
>>33152332Get Trap General.
>>33152332"I'm sure my treasurer would love to teach you how to kiss"
>>33152332Kiss her on the forehead, then send her off.
>>33152332On the cheek, only.
>>33152332>Now that I am free from my tower can we human kiss?No..No...I need an adult
>>33152332>carries Insect Princess down the tower on her backby jumping? dem thighs, manWe are in need of Trap General.
>>33152332That's up to you to decide. If you're into that kind of thing, just ask her not to bite you. If not, then you could introduce her to the General.
>>33152332I can see you skulking back there, Drider Princess!
>>33152332I am very disappointed in you, drider princess.Shake your finger at the bush.
>>33152332I think Drider is just playing hard to get. Make her do some soul searching.
>>33152332before we do anything else yell at drider princess to away. seriously, keeping things from eating thinking creatures is like 70% of what being a knight is about.
>>33152332Kissing is for people with genders.
>>33152332She can go human kiss with one of the generals.
>>33152332Give her a kiss on the cheek, it's not a big deal and we're getting an army out of this.
>>33152439This. Hand her off to HG while you have a long talk with the drider.
>>33152332"I'm not really into mandibles but I have a general who would love to Drider Princess if you were any worse at stealth you would be Mimic Princess."
>>33152332>DP: "Nah. I wanted to eat her."
>>33152332A kiss, on the cheek or forehead. BLush and act embarassed.Guys, an army for a kiss. It's a good trade-off.
>Knight Queen decides to simply give Insect Princess a peck on the cheek. It is a small gesture but it seems to have a major effect on the Princess as she gasps and begins to chitter excitedly.Alright, that's done. Not the princess I wanted but once again I come out with something even better... We finally have an army.1/2
>>33152513>BLush and act embarassed.Tsunfags should just go die.
>>33152524Brought this on yourself, DP.
>>33152524We gave you your chance, Cyn- I mean, Drider. All you had to do was be honest with your feelings and you could have had adorable bug waifu.
>>33152524===================================HG: "The army sucks.""What?"HG: "I mean... It's better than no army but they're all completely under-equiped and not a single one of them has an training. Our best bet with them is to just send them en masse and hope they overwhelm the enemy before they can stage a counter attack. It's a lot better than what we had before but we're nowhere near strong enough to attack other kingdoms."
>>33152526I don't think you even know what Tsun even means.
>>33152583Go talk to Drider now.
>>33152583Guess we gotta whip them into shape ourselves.With song!
>>33152583>bandaid on dickWe fucking warned you.
>>33152583Have Human general train them, if their underequiped show them hand to hand combat and commando tactics
>>33152526>TsunfagsNah. Just a way to make the Insect Princess to be content with just a kiss ont he cheek. But it seems it was unnecessary.
>>33152583Ask if he tried to stick it in a mimic.
>>33152583They're all ants, right? Just have them tunnel under the towers we deem threats to destabilize the foundation.We don't need to train the whole army to be soldiers if they're all already expert sappers. Just try a different sort of warfare.
>>33152583Send envoy to Insect Princess.We need her help to train and stuff.
>>33152583At least we have some manpower, which makes us look like we're in charge. Have HG start training some of them, and then have those guys train others.
>>33152583Oh HG, such a joker.Tell him to start training and equipping the army, while we free another princess.
>>33152583So train you pelvic trusting buttmunch.
>>33152583"Or we can figure a way to get them proper equipment. Also attacting the other kingdoms is not really an option before we get rid of our own problem with the towers. Speaking of which, I assume we can send them to disassemble the tower in north-western corner of our kingdom, right? It's unocuppied now. Just tell them to watch out for nearby... predators."
>>33152583"I warned you about mimics, bro."Well, the insects should still be useful for defense if the enemy doesn't know how undertrained they are. In the long term, we'll want to properly train them, and get them equipment and siege engines.We weren't exactly planning on starting a war anytime soon. For now, we'll keep rescuing girls from the remaining towers.
>>33152332Wow, all DP had to do was lie and pretend to be in love with BP and she could have had her meal willing walk into her den. What a fucking idiot.
>>33152583Maybe we could trade some of the soldier ants for worker ants? Or if that's not possible, perhaps a portion of them could be trained to do mining/smithing work. That might fix the under-equipped problem, and it might also serve to boost the Knight Queen's royal treasury.For the rest of them, go through them, get the most promising ones and run them through basic training. Of the ones that don't wash out, give them more training and real weapons to practice with. Then go take them out for some field training. For the ones that survive that or show promise, have them go amongst their peers and repeat the process.
>>33152583>Acquire Witch Princess>Modify bug army into venemous, flying berserk monsters>Become Swarmlorf
"I warned you about the mimic."HG: "... She has teeth everywhere...">Knight Queen sighs and begins to explain her plans. She wants Human General to begin training Insect Princess's troops. Those who excel in training are to train more under them and so on. Those who are not training should work on tearing down the tower that's already been cleared.>She also calls up Trap General and tells him to ask Mimic Princess if she can bring back the mimic tower. It would be an amazing siege engine.>He runs off and says he will report back as soon as possible.In the meantime...>Knight Queen looks over the map.The Human Princess is still out there. She's the only one that could possibly take the throne from me.Also there's more of those hideous towers out there.
>>33152775TO THE ONE IN THE DESERT
>>33152775Bottom left corner
>>33152775WATER TEMP- I MEAN TOWER
>>33152775The mysterious tower slightly west of the area shown by the map.
>>33152775Desert Tower. Also we need to work on lowering our debt
>>33152775Let's go to the mountains. That'll segway towards the volcano and the desert.
>>33152775>>33152786Seconding floating tower
>>33152775the lake one, surely a booming fishing industry would help alleviate some of our debt
>>33152791>>33152822Probably shouldn't go to the Desert Tower quite yet, seeing as the kingdom we overtook is still spectacularly in debt to the Desert King.Establish a better hold on things before poking that wasp's nest.
>>33152775>"I warned you about the mimic."HG: "... She has teeth everywhere..."HAHAHAHAI like HG
>>33152775lake tower, get a boat with you
Man, I just want dead princess you guys. If we cant feed the shit tier bug princess to the drider can we at least slay the drider?
>>33152775Mountain Tower. If our troops can't fight, they can at least dig.
>>33152872>I just want dead princess you guys.One dead princess*
>>33152775Flight is right.
>>33152834How the hell would giving DK his daughter back be ''poking that wasp's nest''? He would probably clear our debt in thanks.
>>33152894We're gonna find Ghost Princess eventually, she's technically dead.
>>33152941Thats UNdead, not just dead. I want to cause the death of at least one princess other than Human since endgame doesnt count. Just one.
>Knight Queen heads off to check out the floating tower.>Human General says he can not accompany her due to a delicate injury so she goes alone.>As she reaches the tower she remembers she has no way to fly.>The tower is floating far in the air, well beyond the distance she could jump to. Long thick pieces of rope drape below it and drag across the surface. They look like they might be able to hold her body weight if she tries to climb it.
>>33152872All princesses should be kept alive for maximum good end.This is a light-hearted quest after all
>>33152961May I inquire why?
give a rope a good yank first. to check.
>>33152965Search the box the Mimic Princess gave you.
>>33152965Wait until Mimic Sieg engine comes back
>>33152965Those might be a trap. Tap one of them with your sword.If you're going to climb, try to put a cushioned bed beneath you in case you fall.
>>33152982Because its fun
>>33152965Tug the rope first. Safety!
>>33152965Throw rock at it, see what happens.Ancient knight technique.
>>33152961Any particular reason why, or are you just experiencing an onset bout of bloodlust?
>>33152965It is time for a TRICKY PLATFORMING SEQUENCEDon't miss that jump!Climb the ladder!MEDUSA HEAAAADS
>>33152965Maybe take of your armor before climbing?
>>33152965Ask Drider for help again.
>>33151638How the fuck is being mindful of consequences metagaming you knee-jerking retard.Where's the fucking player knowledge that the character won't have?
>>33153029She won't be of much help with this one.
>Knight Queen walks up to the ropes and gives them a good tug. She tugs harder and finally tries putting all her weight on it. The rope snaps and sends her back down.>She lands hard on her rear with a thump.Ow... Okay, these aren't working.>>33152991>Knight Queen reaches into the box she was given and pulls out... A bundle of silk? There's a note attached to it.Oh wow, drider webbing! I could easily climb up there with some of this stuff.I only got one use of it, though.Do I wanna use it up here..?
>>33149175>Knight Princess slices his head off.>>33152981>This is a light-hearted quest after all
>>33153053Her butt is a grappling hook that sticks to anything, of course she can help.
>>33153072Lighthearted decapitation.Also that was retarded anyway.
>>33153069Ask for Drider to come along with! We need an adventuring partner.
>>33153069>Go to volcano
>>33152981We decapitated someone as our very first action and are plotting to murder his daughter. I'm disappointed /tg/ had to get all moralfaggy and spineless after that.
>>33153069I question the effectiveness of an object that came from a girl we just NTRed.
>>33153069You could try conquering one of the more terrestrial towers and save up that Drider Silk for something else. Never know when you're going to need an extra-strong rope to tie two things together.
>>33153069Bad idea.You should make the tower's inhabitants get out by starting a barbecue right new to the tower.
>>33153069>Do I wanna use it up here..?First investigate that glowy thing at the bottom of the tower.Maybe if you threw rock at it (from a safe distance!) it would shut down and land the tower safely.
>>33153069Unless you have some other option, now would be the best time.Is it feasible to construct a ladder or scaffold, along with a parachute for coming back down?Have you made any progress with the mimic tower? You could use it to climb up.You could always try climbing without your armor.
>>33153069Go for it. Invite Drider along!
>>33153069Find a way to lower the debt.Also wait until Mimic Tower comes
>>33153069Eh, why not.
>>33153105I don't want to play a murder quest, it's that simple.
>>33153112Eh, I'm down.
>>33153114It could also cause the tower to crash to the earth, killing the captives. Not a good idea.
>>33153105I specifically remember Knight Princess refusing to kill other princesses and execute her vassals and her saying that she only killed the King lbecause he was incompetent and that she wasn't going to murder other people for the fuck of it.
>>33153157see >>33152775>The Human Princess is still out there. She's the only one that could possibly take the throne from me.That is sinister as fuck. Larro making KQ a literal whiteknight was a bummer, though.
>>33153171More like a relief after the shitty killing spree anons voted for.
>>33153171Yeah, we have to find her and befriend the shit out of her to make sure she doesn't overthrow us.
>>33153069Use the silk
Why don't we just act as regent until the Human Princess proves herself capable?
>>33153171That has nothing to do with my point.I'm saying this has nothing to do with /tg/ and everything with the character we're playing.Stop insulting people who don't do what you want.
Yes, I suppose I should save this... I might really need it later on.Also, I can hear you all. It's not that I'm against murder but I need to at least have a good reason to do so.Gotta think about long term gain from it, you know? Treasurer and small army were worth losing out on killing something.>>33153128>>33153122>>>33152992....==================================>Knight Queen storms the tower riding atop her Mimic Tower.I can get used to this.1/2
>>33153188>I dont like thing!Thats nice and all, but you should quit being a selfish faggot who enforces his tastes in every single quest. Though, QM has final say so it is what it is.>>33153197Boooring>>33153216>I'm saying this has nothing to do with /tg/ and everything with the character we're playing.If the character is plotting to kill the daughter of the man she murdered, then it has EVERYTHING to do with your point. But like I said, QM gets final say which is why I'm less fighting this and more just bummed that its gone in a less fun, more cliche direction.
>>33153250Now we're a real tower knight!
>>33153250Haha!Mimics!We should make the tower an honorary extension of our castle.
>>33153266No, it doesn't you already mentioned the plot to murder the daughter. I was pointing out that it was the character refusing to go on a murder spree that stopped the murder spree, not your claim of /tg/ being spineless or whatever. Repeating things you already said have nothing to do with that.
>>33153266Don't worry, it's only less fun to you.It's significantly more fun this way to others.
>>33153307>I was pointing out that it was the character refusing to go on a murder spree that stopped the murder spreeAnd I addressed that. Are you blind?>>33153341Only for you.See, I can play that game too.
>>33153352>Are you blind?If I am than you are too.
>Knight Queen storms the tower.>Many of the floors are completely empty with only rotted tomes, broken glass, and bones scattered about.>She does manage to find a few platinum coins tucked away in a moth eaten purse but no sign of life...>She reaches the final level of the tower and sees some sort of golem in the center of the room. It wears a crown on it's head and rows of magical sigils on it's body.>It kneels in the middle of a circle which is also pulsing with energy.I recognize this...This is some kinda mass enhancement thing.Yeah, I remember reading about this. With this you can control the entire floating tower.It requires something to keep it going, though. I imagine the golem is filling in for that. She has a crown, though.
>>33153352Anon, shut up or change your attitude.You're the epicenter of a micro-shitstorm right now.
>>33153352And now you're just arguing because you are sad you didn't get what you wanted.
>>33153296>We should make the tower an honorary extension of our castle.Do you want Human General to have another... accident?
>>33153352>>33153358Get off it.Stop argueing like children in a sand pit.
>>33153368Hey, can you hear me?Are you okaaaay?How do you pilot this thing?
>>33153368see if mimic princess has any mana gems.
>>33153368Go back to mimic towerRemove your stupid heavy armourRetrieve Golem Princess and RUN.
>>33153368It's probably worth checking if the golem can hear us even while hooked up to the tower.Rotate tower clockwise for Yes, counterclockwise for No.
>>33153368Ask the golem if she can hear us.If so, ask if she'd like to be free of her burden of keeping the castle going, or if she'd like to escape. Or if she'd like to remain in control, maybe offer her some company in the form of a garrison?
>>33153373I'm not arguing at all and already stated I'm okay if somewhat saddened by the direction OP took the questI swear, all you white knights just look for things to get offended over.
>>33153368>>33153368kiss her you fool
>>33153426And you continue to argue, about how much you aren't arguing.
>>33153368So if we get her out of there, the whole tower will come crashing down if it isn't already on the ground?If we plan to retrieve her, then we should check that there aren't any breakable towns around the tower first. Also, we might want to bring a parachute or hang glider, for our escape.
>>33153441You have only yourself to blame for that
>>33153445Yes, if we pull her out the entire thing is gonna come crashing down on the floor. Hard. But I have a mimic tower waiting nearby so that's not -too- much of a problem."Hello? Can you hear me?">Knight Queen walks in front of the Golem Princess and snaps her fingers a few times.>She twitches slightly but only at the noise. She makes no other indication that she heard her."Shake the tower a bit if you can understand me.">Nothing happens.Yeah, the lights are on but no one's home. I'm guessing this circle is keeping her down.If I remember how these symbols work...Yeah, I -think- I can fly this thing.Take it back to my new kingdom and see if anyone can free her and keep this tower flying. A flying tower would be a pretty nice thing to have if I can arm it with canons.>Attempt to fly tower back to kingdom.>Take out Golem Princess.>Other.
Is this going on for a second thread or something? We're on page 9.
>>33153540>>Attempt to fly tower back to kingdom.Can you just sort of... point her at your kingdom?I'm sure we have some hedge wizard who would love this thing
>>33153540>>Attempt to fly tower back to kingdom.we can always set it down gently somewhere and have a free tower to defend our kingdom with if all else fails.
>>33153540>Attempt to fly tower back to kingdom.
>>33153368"Hey, do you want to get out of here?"
>>33153540>Take out Golem Princess.We already have a siege engine.
>>33153540>>Attempt to fly tower back to kingdom.Your is the drill that will pierce the heaven!
>>33153540>Take out Golem Princess.
>>33153540>But I have a mimic tower waiting nearby so that's not -too- much of a problem.Does this mean you think Mimic Tower can hold up Float Tower?Because if so, you can just park Mimic Tower underneath the Float Tower as a failsafe/guidance system and drive the whole thing back as some kind of crazy siege engine totem pole.
>>33153540>attempt to fly the tower back to the kingdomA FLYING TOWER. How could we possibly pass this up? It's like a zeppelin but classier!
>>33153544I think it might be for the best, even if it means no Hero Quest tonight.
>>33153540>Yeah, I -think- I can fly this thing.>-think-That statement is assured enough for PC Plans, at least. Fly that thing.
>>33153540>Try to land the flying tower, THEN take out Golem Princess
>>33153540Can we land the tower before taking her out? We already have one mobile fortress tower.
>>33153540>>Attempt to fly tower back to kingdom.And then turn the tower into...THE GREAT FLYING FORTRESS: THE INVINCIBLE!
>>33153653>We already have one mobile fortress tower.Why do we need to stop at one? Hell, why stop at 2?I accept no less than 7 mobile fortresses.
>all this talk of flying towersarva come back
Sh-I mean, drat.
>>33153753Eh, close enough. We can restart the economy by putting people to work on rebuilding our floating fortress.
>>33153753Close enough.Wait, what did we cra- I mean, land on?
>>33153753This is what happens when you trust the stabby person with the technical stuff.
>>33153645This let her out
>>33153753More repairs gives your serf more work and help the economy!
>>33153753Uh, it's cool. Just sort of act like that's what you intended to happen.If it's still in working order, you can probably use the thing as a giant flying battering ram instead of a siege tower. This was just a test-run. On your own kingdom. We must all make sacrifices in the name of progress, after all.
>>33153753It's fine, looks perfectly natural
>>33153753That's just a scratch, your peasants can fix it. Also you can now free the Golem Prrincess.
>>33153753Disassemble tower, retain floating platform and control room. Get someone else to pilot the thing.
>>33153753Let the golem princess out.It's like you need to remove the keys from the car when it's crashed.
>>33153753OH, and we know from our own experiences that Leaning Towers are totally tier-1 Tourist Traps.Get the word out, and you'll have the tourism bucks rolling in in no time....You should probably get the Golem Princess out now, though.
>>33153753Also, seduce the golem princess
>>33153808Yeah... I meant to do that. I...Dammit...Well, at least there will be new jobs.==================================>Knight Queen retires to her chambers. It has been a very busy but productive day. The worker insects and plenty of peasants are working on repairing the wall and floating tower.>Trap General says he's found a wizard who will most likely get the thing floating without needing Golem Princess in it.Alright, everything's going well.Much better than I'd planned, actually. Who would have thought that I would go from lowly Princess to Queen in the span of a few moments.There is much to attend to but for now I think I shall simply rest.Tomorrow promises to be an equally busy day.The end
>>33153540>Attempt to fly tower to open field near kingdomDon't fly it directly to the kingdom. We don't have any experience with flying towers and don't want to crash into anything.
>>33153868WHAT ABOUT GOLEM PRINCESS?
>>33153868Long live the Queen!
>>33153868HERO QUEST WHEN?
>>33153868It's ogre? No Tower Quest part two?
>>33153818>acquire UFO flying saucerI'm okay with that
>>33153753>>33153882Why did you think it was a good idea to fly directly into a castle town? I'm pretty sure the old king never crashed a building into another building.>captcha: lekshar moved
>>33153868I should have gone to sleep 3 hours ago, damn you Larro!
===================================="Daddy. Did you hear? There's a Queen Knight rescuing princesses."???: "I heard, darling.""Daddy, I want a Knight to defend me."???: "You have so many knights already, dear.""No! I want a Queen Knight! I want THAT Queen Knight! Daddy, I want her!"???: "Of course, my sweet. Everything in this world is already yours, we simply need to go pick it up. Now get some rest, my dear Gwendolyn.""You're the best daddy~"
>>33153934Hella Funtime Tower Quest Two Shot?
>>33153886Golem Princess is going to stay sleeping until they can wake her up safely and keep the tower floating.Anyway, that's all for now! I hope you guys had fun. I do want to wrap this up as I'm loving the direction the story is going but I'll have to save it for another time.Here's some doodles I was working on in preparation for this.
>>33153934Dun dun DUUUUUN.
>>33153934Can I have cute embarrassed dwarf princess images yet?
>>33153934I thought Gwen hated being around people because everyone she touches turns to diamonds or something?
>>33153934>GwendolynI like where this is going.
>>33153980Yeah, that's most definitely the princes we must not let our Human Genearl nearby.
>>33153994She just really hates being touched and physical labor. She does turn flesh into diamonds but I don't honestly think she cares that much. >>33153931I hope you at least had fun!>>33153900Tomorrow, most likely... I didn't plan on this lasting this long and I'm kinda burned out from drawing so many updates. I'm sorry!
>>33154090>She does turn flesh into diamonds but I don't honestly think she cares that much.See, I always assumed she was the way she was because of the trauma of turning people she cared about into diamonds.Also being an unwilling host of Eldritch creatures.
>>33154134In the CYOA thing it does mention that characters like Gwen with the monster mark have been wronged or mistreated in the past or something, so that kind of makes sense. Maybe this is pre-curse Gwendolyn or something.
>>33154090It had a pretty good chance of lasting this long, really. If a knight has a dozen princesses to rescue, they're not going to stop at two or three.>captcha: neuctur set
Evil Princess best princess.
>>33154090>the key at the back of Golem Princess' headIs that what we need to get her back to her senses?
Wow, the topic has 610 posts. That's a lot for a one-shot!
>GwendolynI am missing a reference here.
>>33154214Well, yeah, but pretty normal for Larro's thread.
>>33154194Yes.>>33154181I underestimated /tg/. Foolish of me to do so.>>33154134>>33154171That's one way of looking at it. Before the mistreated tag came out she was written as a haughty and spoiled brat. That one always fit more in my mind but I can see how she would still want to avoid touching people. If anything it would be because she doesn't want to lose that person.
>>33154224Google Super Hella Funtime Adventure Friends.Third Row, Second Column.
>>33154267I don't think there's anything that necessarily stops her from being haughty and spoiled. Certainly fits the avoidance of physical labor. Spoiling is technically a form of mistreatment.It just makes more sense to me that her other problems are more from her curse rather than her true intentions.
>>33154267So which princess is best princess?Drider princess is best
>>33154373Dwarf Princess is best.Cute, shy, wealthy, powerful, with or without beard.
>>33154403you have convinced me of your better taste, good sir.
>>33154403Why do you have such shit taste Larro?
>>33154415Evil Princess belongs in a dungeon.
>>33154403Want. We gotta rescue her next time
>>33154403I was promised slime, where is the SLIME?
>>33154400Also with or without the other beard
>>33154515Why was Drider so sad anyways?
>>33154515>Less than a minute replyYES.
>>33154515>slime>skeletonno larro that is not how it works
>>33154523She lost her prey. She's been stalking that girl for days now.
>>33154540Consult the original image.
>>33154540Pls no bully.She was somewhat envious of people with bones, so she scavenged a set from some poor long-dead girl with a particularly alluring skeletal structure.She was really picky about it because she heard something somewhere about child-bearing hips being a good thing, so she wanted to make sure she had those.>>33154610Or this. Take your pick.
We got up to 634 posts, then?
>>33155114635, you turbo nerd.
>>33155123Adding a post changes the post count. It was accurate when it was posted, including itself.