Caveman quest allows players in multitude to assert control over the mind of a man from before recorded history. This quest can be as funny, or as serious as desired.[Do not expect any sort of factual accuracy... at all]Rules:Posts should be accompanied by a 1d100 roll, highest of the first five posts is used as decision. >It beginsYou awaken from your slumber to the smell of burning rat hair. Your cave is round, and quite large, but dark in the daytime, when there is no cooking fire. With your eyes closed, you crawl out of your sleeping alcove, brush off the grass you use as cushion, and walk across the cave floor to the entrance. The ground feels warm where your cooking fire was last night, and disturbing the ashes releases even more burnt rat hair smell.You stand outside the cave, and after adjusting to the light, pick up a stone. You chisel a notch above the cave entrance. You do not know why.Before you stretches the forest. It is deep, and thick, and wild. Sometimes you catch rats in it, but the plants irritate your naked skin, so you avoid it. You have never tried to climb the mountain in which your cave resides, and have mostly stuck to your cave and the surrounding clearing since you arrived here. There is a stream that runs from the mountain into a pool beside the cave entrance. You remember little of your time before finding this cave. You have nothing.You are slightly hungry.You are slightly thirsty.
>>32986783Get to the stream and drink from the rich and clean mountain water.Is the Caveman a Homo Sapien or...?
>>32986813>>32986783Find and equip a large rock that can fit in our hands on the way.
>>32986813>>32986832"dice+1d100" in the email field please.
>>32986883>And link it to your post>>32986813>Yes, maybe.
>>32986920>I guess I'll use this. You walk to the pool fed by the stream. You crouch, and bring the water to your mouth. It tastes disgusting. The water in the pool does not taste healthy. You notice something floating near the opposite edge of the pool.You have nothing.You are slightly hungry.You are slightly thirsty.
Rolled 75>>32987051Check it out, cautiously
>>32987122>No one else is posting, so going with this, and if this doesn't pick up I'll just save it for another time.You slowly approach the other side of the pool. In the water, a bird is floating. You immediately recognize that it is dead. It seems to have sustained some wound, and to have bled. It smells terrible. You are beginning to get hungry.You have nothing.You are hungry.You are slightly thirsty.
Rolled 68>>32987367Search for a rock and use it to hunt prey
Rolled 4>>32987367Pick up a rock and walk around
>>32987394You find a smooth stone by the pool, it is heavy, but you can carry it with one hand. You need food, and decide to try to find some kind of animal, for you crave meat. You know of two available sources:Rat: Nourishing, gain bones as a resource. Plentiful. (Only needs roll of 30 or above to achieve)Or,Bird: Nourishing, gain feathers as a resource. Need to strike from afar (Need roll of 60 or above)
Rolled 96>>32987693Bird, we need feathers to become the master
>>32987860You attempt to hit a bird with your stone. After a couple failures, you eventually calibrate your throws and are able to strike a large blue bird that was perched on a branch. As you go to inspect it, you realize that you struck the bird in the head. A bird could probably fly away if you hit it anywhere else. (You now have a better chance of hunting birds, need roll over 40 to succeed). You pluck its blue feathers and make a fire. It is getting dark. You roast the bird completely, and eat most of it. Leaving some for the morning.You have Blue feathers.You are not hungry.You are slightly thirsty.You are tired.
Rolled 86>>32988077Search for clean water one last time before hitting the ole cave.
>>32988210You return to the pool, and examine the water. The pool water is unclean, that is sure.The water that trickles into it from the rocks above seems clean enough, and you gulp it down greedily. The dead bird seems to smell more, but the cool night air is refreshing none the less.
Rolled 61>>32988642Remove the bird and throw it into the rat woods
>>32988750Then go to sleep.
>>32988750You pick up the soaking wet corpse, and fling it into the forest. It makes a loud noise as it splats against a tree. You notice that the smell has lessened. You walk to your cave, and sit by the fire wishing for sleep. It is warm, and quickly you begin to drift off...You awake, it is a new day! Your fire is out. It is dark in the cave. You have nothing.You are not hungry.You are not thirsty.You not tired.
Rolled 9>>32988970Think about the situation you find yourself in. Is this usually what happens in your life?
Rolled 76>>32988970Collect rocks we can use for weapons with emphasis on sharp and/or heavy ones. Also, try to amass a large collection of firewood.
>>32986783What is the caveman wearing? Does he or she have any weapons?
Rolled 5>>32989073while hunting for rocks, try and get another bird
Rolled 62>>32989163or not...
>>32989073You go outside and search around the pool for stones. You find a few that are as heavy as the one you had before, and keep those. Out of those, four of them were somehow pointed or sharp. You acquire 4 sharp stones. You place these in your cave, and begin a search for wood that you can use to make fire. You find many small pieces close to the woods, and amass them in your cave. You have quite a sufficient amount of wood for fires.The sun is in the middle of the sky. You have one sharp stone with you, and three sharp stones, blue feathers, and a pile of firewood in your cave.You are slightly hungry.You are not thirsty.You are not tired.
Rolled 66>>32989290Furiously masturbate with great vigor.
Rolled 85>>32989290Go after a few rats with the stone. Cook them, then eat the rest of the bird.
Rolled 71>>32989290See if youcan find different colored birds to hunt
Rolled 93>>32989290Go out into the woods (not too far, don't get lost) to find another animal to kill for food. Maybe you'll get something bigger.After that, either dig the bottom of the pool to find out why it tastes bad or explore the woods.>On another note, what are you wearing for clothing?
Rolled 92>>32989383It was the bird we threw out. It should be safe to drink in another couple days.
>>32989383You return to the pool and examine it. Without the dead bird, the water has seemed to recover some of its clarity. The bottom of the pool is very loose soil. Attempts to dig it up with your hands just mixes the sediment with the water. You take a drink, and it seems better.You wander into the forest, and the foliage irritates your naked skin. You find a few rats, and dispatch them easy enough. You see tracks and feces of a larger animal. The rats seem to avoid the small footpaths created by the tracks. You have one sharp stone and three rat corpses with you, and three sharp stones, roasted bird, blue feathers, and a pile of firewood in your cave.You are hungry.You are not thirsty.You are not tired.
Rolled 67>>32989566Ruminate on the nature of existence.
Rolled 37>>32989566See if you can find similar tracks and kill the owner of them
Rolled 38>>32989618Maybe make a proper weapon first... try to find vines and a more or less straight, thick treebranch and try to bind one of the sharp stones on one end of it.
Rolled 44>>32989618Voting for thisHopefully with a better roll
>>32989618>>32989651You follow the tracks in the forest, and eventually find that most of the small paths lead through the forest to a small valley. The valley, hardly more than a large clearing that dips in the center, is filled with small bushes with bright green berries. In the center of the valley, a bear stands, eyeing you warily. You raise your stone.You have one sharp stone and three rat corpses with you, and three sharp stones, roasted bird, blue feathers, and a pile of firewood in your cave.You are hungry.You are not thirsty.You are not tired.
Rolled 28>>32989788Throw a rat corpse towards it, as a peace offering.I want to tame a bear.
Rolled 89>>32989788We must tame the bear
Rolled 90>>32989788Well, throw a rat for it to eat, then strike it as hard as you can with a sharp rock at its head. If it worked for the bird it might work for the bear
>>32989941>>32989878I need a conformation roll on either of these to proceed.
Rolled 68>>32989788Lower the stone, collect berries, and leave. Never return.
>>32989941N-no... anon pls..
Rolled 25>>32989964tame the bear
Rolled 41>>32989941Kill the bear
>>32990042>need above a 60 for conformation
Rolled 89>>32989788Lets be best bear murderer, and wear its skin and become a bear shaman
Rolled 56>>32990104Tame the bear with gusto
>>32990130>THIS DOES IT, YOU GLORIOUS FOOLS! writing.
Rolled 40>>32989941>>32990130Jesus, I guess we're killing a bear?
You toss a rat in the direction of the bear. For one half hour, you wait. The bear wanders nearer, and nearer still. It comes across your rat, and consumes it quickly. Eyeing you. It finishes, and you wave your two remaining rats, and throw one nearer to you. The bear moves forward, and begins to eat that one. Slowly, you approach the bear. Every careful step, the bear looks up from its meal and eyes you. After what seems like hours, you are within striking distance of the bear. You have dropped your third rat, and it looks at it, seeming to understand the game. >Cont...
>>32990287You raise your stone.The bear has come to mere feet away from you. You wait until the bear looks down on its meal, and you drive your stone with all your might directly down upon its head. You feel as if your blood has become hot. The bear lies at your feet, breathing, but unconscious. You wipe the blood off the stone, and see that the sun is setting. You have one sharp stone with you, and three sharp stones, roasted bird, blue feathers, and a pile of firewood in your cave.You are very hungry.You are slightly thirsty.You are not>>32990287 tired.
Rolled 55>>32990417kill bear and bring remains to cave
Rolled 31>>32990417Crush its head, and drag it back to the cave to cook and eat
Rolled 23>>32990417eat the bird we have with us. Also we need to skin the bear now before some animals come and eat it. The night be damned.Oh and also get his teeth and bones.
Rolled 95>>32990471no, we should keep the skull. for things.
Rolled 52>>32990500Kill it in a way that keeps it's head intact, in memory of the bear. Maybe crush its throat with our foot?
>>32990500>>32990498>>32990471>>32990469>>32990532>Combining these and >writing
Rolled 68>>32990532sounds good. or cut the throat with the sharp rock.
Rolled 78>>32990500As long as we get a full sized bear coat, decorated with blue feathers and rat bones I am down.
>>32990532Rock to the base of the spine were your skull meets your neck would do the trick.
Rolled 79>>32990287>>32990417Poor Yogi... maybe we can be a bear tamer next time, once eat its heart to obtain its powah?
Rolled 67>>32990648The bear corpse is everything we need to advance in tech. Need a lever? Bear femur Need a wedge? Bear clawIf only we could figure out a pulley system we would be well on our way to the wheel...
Rolled 60>>32990707It's certainly why I was pushing for bear murder. Plus, while being the first member of a race of men to domesticate a bear would be neat, we have no way to feed it enough to satisfy it's hunger, it's big enough to eat us if it gets angry and it's something we can likely try later when we're more well fortified.
>>32990559>>32990648You drop to your knees, and crush the throat of the bear with a few bashes of your stone. The head is mainly intact, aside from the throat and neck. You begin to drag the corpse entirely to your home, and then decide it would be easier another way. You cut the skin from the bear as best you can with the edge of your stone. It is difficult, but you are able to turn what was once a bear carcass into a bearskin sack of meat and broken bear bones. You consume the heart, the nutrition it holds is especially good, and provides you with variety that is necessary for a balanced diet. You can drag this sack much more quickly, and return to the cave. It is now the evening. You have four sharp stones, roasted bird, blue feathers, bear meat, bear organs, bear skin, bear bones and a pile of firewood in your cave.You are not hungry.You are thirsty.You are slightly tired.
Rolled 84>>32990800Set a thigh or rump over the fire, go to get to something to drink, finish cooking, then throw it's pelt on top of the bed of grass
Rolled 4>>32990790ExactlyWe have a huge surplus now, which is the fundamental building block in building a society. Bear femur clubs should just about be the most deadly thing we can muster weapon wise right now. we will soon have a bunch of rotten bear meat, or as I like to call it "rat bait"Bear claws, bear bone, bear teeth, bear pelt, so much stuff...
Rolled 70>>32990994We are perfect Caveman Husbando material, guys. We are going to get all the Cavelady bitches
Rolled 40>>32990800Hey OP, are we gonna get like a perk or something with the knowledge that aiming for the head is somehow fairly effective in downing both birds and bears?
>>32991088>Headshot: specifically mentioning aiming for the head of a being will increase your chances of killing it because the head is vulnerable.
Rolled 40>>32991041Really? On the rocks?
Rolled 21>>32991088"Hmm, bear have squishy grey meat inside skull just like bird did...squishy grey skull meat..important?"
Rolled 11>>32991126Fuck yeah, we are moving in the prerecorded world!
You mull over the day, and sit in the darkness of your cave to be warmed by the fire. You use some of the bears blood to paint something on the cave wall. What do you paint?
Rolled 14>>32991271Paint a man-like figure holding a big pointy rock over a prostrating beast
>>32991271View from the cave entrance
you paint yourself killing a bear
Rolled 5>>32991296This sounds rad, lets go with this
Rolled 41>>32991296This we shall paint our life story here
A bear getting killed is more radical
Rolled 7two bears high-fiving
That's also radical
>>32991379>>32991345>>32991296>This works.You paint a mural, detailing you triumph over the bear. It is s stick man, with a round object, and the bear, drawn laying down flat. You press its bloodstained paw to the wall for size reference. You have four sharp stones, roasted bird, blue feathers, bear meat, bear organs, bear skin, bear bones and a pile of firewood in your cave.You are not hungry.You are thirsty.You are slightly tired.
Rolled 92>>32991764Grab a drink and make a bear pelt coat
Rolled 53>>32991764Get something to drink, and....take one of the longer, sharper bones with you. Maybe we can spear a fish with it while we get water
Go drink from the pool and then go to sleep
>>32990904>>32991826>>32991833You throw a large hunk of meat onto the fire, and go outside for a drink from the stream. You bring a sharp bone with you, in case there are any animals in the water. You can see very little, but eventually reach it. In the darkness, you hear the sound of movement, but can still see almost nothing. You begin to take a few gulps from the stream, when...Suddenly, a hand grabs your arm in the darkness.You have one sharp bear bone with you and four sharp stones, roasted bird, blue feathers, bear meat, bear organs, bear skin, bear bones and a pile of firewood in your cave.You are slightly hungry.You are not thirsty.You are tired.
Rolled 43>>32991890Pull your arm aside and grab the sharp bear bone with your other hand. Be ready to club the intruder.
>>32991928>Should have specified, they grabbed the arm holding the bear bone. >You have no clothing, you are always carrying anything you have with you.
Rolled 50>>32991890Roar pull away from the hand and retreat to your cave
Throw an intimidating roar to scare the attacker and stab him in the leg with the sharp bone
Rolled 62>>32991976Uh grab the sharp stone in the other arm instead?
Rolled 94>>32991890Pull arm away, roar to intimidate and back away toward the cave
>>32992017>>32991979>>32991928>>32992097You quickly pull your arm away, and switch your sharp bone to the other side. You roar a threatening roar.Whoever it was begins to run, quickly, screeching. The voice sounds female, something pings inside you.She is running into the forest. You cannot see her, only hear her.You have one sharp bear bone with you and four sharp stones, roasted bird, blue feathers, bear meat, bear organs, bear skin, bear bones and a pile of firewood in your cave.You are hungry.You are not thirsty.You are tired.
Rolled 74>>32992154Chase her down and catch her!
Start to make an outfit using the bear skin, the blue feathers and the small bones
Rolled 55>>32992154Call for her to comeback, then apologize and act aloof as much as a caveman can. Let the bitches come to us.
Rolled 87>>32992154Crap, try to approach quickly, make sure to drop spear at our feet when we see her, and pals open to show we unarmed
Rolled 58>>32992154Whatever, we'll rape her next time. Go back to the cave and sleep.
Nobody likes my ideas :(
Rolled 61No /tg/ not during the night. Go home and sleep.
Rolled 33>>32992242*palms up
Rolled 5>>32992287We must protect all teh womans. 2chivalrous4u
Can we make a bear outfit after the night
Rolled 49>>32992242>>32992287Running through a dense forest during the night? Bad idea. We need to hit the bunk.
Rolled 22>>32992303This ain't the 21. century son, we won't survive being beta. Get sone rest.
>>32992242>>32992201You set to the chase, and quickly you sprint through the forest into the valley of the bear. Your eyes have adjusted, and the female stands in the center of the field. She stares at you. You can see that she is thin. Her hair is yellow and greasy. She has brown eyes, and her skin is dark.You drop your stone, and approach her with your hands out, and head low. She shrinks from you. You both stand in the valley, the sun is rising.You have one sharp bear bone on the ground behind you and four sharp stones, roasted bird, blue feathers, bear meat, bear organs, bear skin, bear bones and a pile of firewood in your cave.You are hungry.You are not thirsty.You are very tired.
Rolled 97>>32992154Fuck it go home and sleep.
Smell her like an animal to make contact
Rolled 36>>32992418Thats some mad game you got there.Let's do it.
Rolled 39>>32992390Gesture to Cave, then go get ready for bed>ngnergy sheI'm not sure we're ready, captcha
>>32992418Do this but approach slowly
Well you don't know how to talk so it's the most logical to make contact
Rolled 57>>32992390Can we talk?Gesture for her to follow us back to camp.
Rolled 64>>32992438>>32992453Both these
Rolled 51>>32992418Gesture for her to follow if she doesn't approach her slowly and grab her hand
Rolled 15>>32992491Grab bone on way back too
>>32992480>>32992473>>32992491You go closer, and smell the air. The woman smells as if she has been running. She smells you.You move your hands in the direction of your cave, and then yourself begin walking. Periodically turning around to get her to follow. She does not, and only seems to grow scared at your gestures. You grab her hand, and begin to lead her. She seems to shocked to resist.She begins to scream when you finally exit the woods near your cave. She screams when she smells the fire, and burning bear.She resists with all her might, and she will not enter the cave. It seems that she fears fire. It is almost day. You have one sharp bear bone with you and four sharp stones, roasted bird, blue feathers, bear meat, bear organs, bear skin, bear bones and a pile of firewood in your cave.You are very hungry.You are not thirsty.You are very tired.
Rolled 1>>32992566Carry her into the cave be forceful but not aggressive and show here the fire is safe and that the food is edible
She's gonna alarm the rest of her tribe SHANK HER with the bone before it's too late
Rolled 41>>32992566Gesture at her to stay, walk up to the fire and pick up some meat and roasted bird.Eat meat and share some meat.
Rolled 90>>32992566Offer meat from fire, eat some to show it is safe
Rolled 5>>32992566Walk up to the fire and get some meat. Start eating then offer some to her.
im not gonna complain my idea is really crazy
>>32992614>>32992662>>32992674You gesture for her to sit, and slowly she sets herself down in the grass. You go into the cave.You retrieve both bear meat and bird meat, and return to her in the grass. When you exit the cave, you notice she is not alone. An older male sit next to her. They gesture at each other and she goes to scream when she sees you, but smells the meat. The male also smells the meat, They sit, eyeing the meat. You have bear and bird meat with you and four sharp stones, blue feathers, bear meat, bear organs, bear skin, bear bones and a pile of firewood in your cave.You are not hungry.You are not thirsty.You are extremely tired.
Rolled 13>>32992674Hot damn, I've been rolling really well this thread and in the first three, usually
Rolled 81>>32992760Offer meat, we have plenty
Rolled 48>>32992760Establish superiority before supplying sustenance.
Rolled 26>>32992760Offer meat gesture to come into the cave then go to sleep
Take a bite on the meat and then offer them some
Rolled 58>>32992795>>32992794These. Maybe pound chest with bone after offering?
Rolled 38>>32992760Kill the male, rape the girl then bind her to a tree or something so she doesnt kill us when we finally go to sleep.
>>32992852Anon pls. We first have to become the alpha male of their tribe and then we acquire harem. Stop being silly
>>32992794You drop the meat in front of the both of them. They immediately begin to eat it. They eye you while they eat, but do not stop chewing. You notice that the male is physically very weak looking. He carries nothing. He has some grey hair.The female has what seems to be large burn scars on her left leg. The morning progresses.You have one sharp bear bone with you and four sharp stones, roasted bird, blue feathers, bear meat, bear organs, bear skin, bear bones and a pile of firewood in your cave.You are not hungry.You are not thirsty.You are extremely tired.
Rolled 61>>32992890Gesture for them to come into the cave and go to sleep
Rolled 22>>32992889We also need to sleep ffs.
Gesture them to come back and go to sleep
Rolled 28>>32992890Wave them to come in and go to sleep. Confidence will surely win the day
>>32992929Yes, but I'm nervous they might kill us or something
Rolled 39>>32992890Gesture to entrance, mime laying down by placing our head on hands, and then gesture for them to come in... once the fire is out
>>32992924>>32992957You go back inside the cave, and put out the fire. You gesture from within for them to come in, and quickly they comply. You lay down near the warm remains of the fire, while they prefer the other side. You go to sleep.AND that concludes the quest for this session guys. Feedback?How is the decision making working?Clarification of current events and suggestions for future ones would be helpful.
>>32993042Will there be magic, and will you finally spoil if the guy is Homo Sapien now?
Rolled 11>>32993042I think its working pretty well but you got a little lucky to not really get trolls.
>>32993042Great, I love it. I'm also getting the sense there may be some sort of TWEEST and this isn't just a regular prehistoric caveman scenario.Keep at it, dude!
Rolled 71>>32993042It was good, op. I like the natural selection style rolling. Oh, and you should probably get a trip
>>32993067First of all, the character is male, as most of you have probably assumed. And yes, he is human. >>32993105thats a possibility.
Rolled 38>>32993042Are we homo superior? Is this setting low fantasy, played straight?
>>32993140>We are simply a man, as far as we knowI would say the setting is low fantasy. I don't want to limit this too much though. Eventually including fantasy elements could be appropriate.
>>32993185Last question, was there a chance we could have tamed the bear?
>>32993217There was an extremely small chance you even survived the encounter. Any move besides "kill the bear" at that moment would have resulted in severe wounding or death.
Rolled 71>>32993252I am glad I rolled to kill it then, thank god
Rolled 97>>32993252I'm surprised people seriously considered taming as an option.I dropped it as a joke, then left to play Magicka.
>>32993592You greatly underestimate /tg/ then