I, for one, approve of this term yet lack suitable content.

Proceed.

I have one from a Halo game I ran some time ago -

>all marine and ODST players in a commandeered pelican dropship trying to escape a Covie occupied city.
>being chased by a trio of banshee fighters. And their pelican doesn't have any weapons at all, not even the rotating undernose chaingun featured in the concept art
>one player gets it into his head to strap himself into the seat facing the rear facing door and arm his rocket launcher to try and take out the banshees.
>he orders the squad AI to open the door, but it has been damaged from the other side, and doesn't open.
>so he decides "fuckit" and orders everyone to cover their face, eyes and ears as he launches a rocket AT the door, blowing it open and counting on the overpressure to suck out the debris and shrapnel.
>he narrowly makes the roll, blowing open the door and somehow not killing everyone else in the bay, but he fucks up his next roll.
>the rope snaps.

The level or cursing was palpable as he pointed out himself he didn't have a chute.

So I let him have a few actions to loose his remaining rocket, and then try and say farewell before he makes an ill timed splat on the ground.

>he looses the other rocket, and takes out the first banshee.
>he then hatches the mother of all batshit plans.
>he unlatches his shotgun and uses it as a makeshift hook, trying to aim for the wings of the first banshee. He misses.
>he then goes for the second banshee. With every roll against him he somehow makes the roll.
>MFW he manages to grab the second banshee by the wing, hold on and then use said shotgun to kill the elite pilot and then drag the corpse out.
>MFW he commanders the banshee and shoots down the other remaining fighter.

That crazy crazy bastard managed to escape every roll and spartan'd his way out of it, so I had no choice but to give him his thirty minutes of fame.

>>32914154
Air-jacking banshees was my favorite thing to do in every Halo where it was possible

I salute the crazy fucker.

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>GM sets up a town, filled with guards
>Need to get a special item from town
>Friend suggests stealing it
>"Dude its filled with a buttfuck ton of guards there's no way"
>'I have a plan.'
>Friend takes GM and begins whispering to him his master plan.
>We all wonder what they're discussing.
>GM sighs, very very leniant.
>'Stand back and behold my handiwork'
>Fuckingskyrimquote
>Goes into town and uses all his money on trap materials.
>Sets up about 25 traps in the woods including incendiary bombs.
>Fire
>Woods
>whatcouldpossiblygowrong
>Friend goes in, Bluff check.
>Natural fucking 20
>'I poop in front of the guard house'
>wat
>Since its a 20 all the guards are enraged and take this as a personal attack, all guards follow him into the woods.
>Roll for traps.
>Goddamn high rolls on each one of them.
>All guards dead, forest on fire, spreading to town.
>Town on fire, burning to the ground, people dying.
>He goes in and gets the item, comes back, turns in quest.
>50 fucking gold.
>'It was worth the experience.'
>100 xp for each of us.
>My fucking face when

>>32914210
In the end we found out all we had to do was talk to this curator guy and he would have given the item to us for 25 gold. In the end he spent about 900 gold on materials, and killed off an entire village and is now wanted for 12,000 gold.

>>32914154
To be fair, that was a pretty spartan way of solving the problem. Chief would approve.

Sorry, I fail to see how he is a that guy. And your games sound awesome :D

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>>32914366
>:D

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>>32914769
You have no right to judge me for what I am!

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>>32914819
>4chan
>not judging people
I think someones in for a big surprise.

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>>32914819

>>32914288
Worth it?

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>>32914288

Fuck that, dude. If you think XP and gold are the only interesting thing when playing tabletop RPGs I've got bad news for you.

You now have a crazy story to tell, and it's a hilarious one !
Much funnier than just "talking to the curator guy".

>Playing in an MiB game.
>We have this informant who keeps trying to escape whenever we come to his bar.
>One of us decides to board up every exit to the place before we enter.
>He runs to the door and bounces off in onto his back.

>>32913059

Same boat here. Bumping for more tales.

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>>32910549
Well, I have a new screen cap.

>>32910549
/tg/, I think I'm The Loon.

>Shadowrun 4e
>Team is asked to blow up an office building (probably for insurance-related reasons) without leaving anything that might suggest that we were hired to blow it up
>Building has fairly strong magical and physical defenses, and will be hard to enter undetected
>Building is in Seattle, near a Boeing plant
>Me: "Gentlemen, I propose we ram this building with an airplane."
>Team denies it, on the grounds of difficulty stealing an airplane, and having no one to blame it on
>Me: "Nonsense! We simply blame it on terrorists and gangers. Like the Halloweeners! We can blame it on them!"
>Team again refuses, stating that they have no way of getting access to Halloweeners--and still the plane is an issue
>Me: "Well... why use a plane when a big truck will suffice?"

>We eventually cause a fire at a Starbucks, steal the resulting firetruck, load it full of C4 and dead circus clowns (I don't even know how my contact got those), and have our rigger ram it into the building at 90 mph
>News calls it "largest terrorist attack in years", and "profound evidence of the dangers of gangs in Seattle"
>Knight Errant Counterterrorist task force kills the Halloweeners to a man

>>32918840
>And that's when the DM reveals the building was on a sinkhole, and we could have knocked it over with an Earth spirit and some time.

>We're still never caught, and we get all of the dosh.

>>32918840
>>32918860
Sounds like standard Shadowrun to me.

>>32918815
It's also one of those rare scenes that's better in the dub.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QVKUEwhcawM

>>32918871
Standard Shadowrun involves having a contact kill a bunch of circus clowns so you can load them into a firetruck you stole from a fire you set at Starbucks, and then ram them both into a building?

...Yeah, that does sound about right. I'm not sure why my fellow players are still convinced that this plan proved I'm crazy.

>Group enters town
>The Loon encounters black market magic dealer
>dealer is selling a jar of darkness( which was intended to be a grenade that would cause aoe blindness)
>The Loon ingests it to gain dark powers
>it blinds him
>proceeds to convince party and townspeople that he's a prophet

>>32918902
They may be more used to more serious, black trenchcoat runs, rather than the wacky, pink mohawk stunts like the one you pulled.

>Dark Hershey
>Party creeping around a derelict manufactorum in the lower hive levels of a planet in the midst of a civil war
>Manufactorum is being used as the base for the cult that started the civil war, but most of the people are at a holy cult meeting so we are sneaking around looking for a way to kill the leaders without getting killed and eaten by his pack of chaos-mutated ghouls
>we turn a corner into a group of patrolling guards
>everyone draws guns
>fight looks like it's gonna happen
>party arbiter disguised as a traitor guardsman screams at the guards "WHY AREN'T YOU AT THE MEETING"
>Succeeds on the bullshitting roll
>Guards look confused, party even more confused, ask why *we're* not at the meeting.
>Arbiter points to party techpriest and tells cultists mind-rusted lunatic keeps beeping and gibbering and trying to run around the corridors fixing everything so we're making sure he doesn't cause the factory to explode or anything
>Techpriest looks the part of a crazy person being covered with blood from "reclaiming" the cybernetics from one of the cultists hereteks earlier without anesthetic (the heretek.
>Techpriest begins beeping and gibbering and flailing and the cultists decide to leave us alone.
>Everyone walks on boggling that the arbiter, who has spent most of the game solving his problems by screaming at them and hitting them with the party transport just got them out of a fight
>He says they should "try talking more often."
>Next corner they turn is full of warp-mutated ghouls
>"Nevermind"

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>>32914154
That is the most retarded, over-the-top, balls to the wall Cuh-Ray-Zee-st shit I've ever heard in my life.

Somebody promote that man.

I have a few stories where I've been The Loon (at least to my party)
>4e Madness at Grimoire Abbey adventure
>Party comes up to guard towers filled with orcs and a boulder-throwing ogre.
>waytoomanyorcs.jpeg
>Took the gnoll feat to get Ghost Sound at-will, and start using it to make "The most annoying, high pitched sound possible" centered on the ogre's head
>It starts freaking out, smacking orcs around, manages to take out most of them before they put it down

>3.5 Homebrew setting
>Party is heading down into the sewer to find some Sun Cult or something
>Head down there, DM mentions there's a path to the left, and a dead end about 10 feet to the right
>suspicioussewerlayout.bmp
>Fuck it, start attacking the wall, noticing it sounds hollow
>Bypass most of sewer dungeon and stumble into cult base

>MnM Pokemon game
>Party dicscovers source of Pokemon abilities (and mutations in humans) is caused by large radioactive mountain
>DM expects us to avoid radiation like the plague, even though staying on the mountain gives 3 character points a day (Which is a hell of a lot in MnM)
>Say fuck it, I'm living on the mountain, spend character points on Regeneration as quickly as I can to offset the damage
>Rack up points and slowly become radioactive demigod on death mountain, complete with cool cult following me

>Playing Bard
>Doesn't want to be heroic
>Forced to by Fate (read:GM)

His backstory was basically that he was a bard of above average ability, which meant that in the small town that he lived in, he was having a pretty good life. His mistake was failing basic Genre Saavy, and thinking that he could do a job with a small group of plucky adventurers that he met in a tavern, and end the job with a fair bit of coin to make his life very cushy, no complications.

Over the course of several campaigns, he:

>Failed to escape the party on 87 separate occasions
>Incited a civil war by playing songs insulting the king's length, girth, and oraltory skills
>Succeeded in using Charm Monster and made a the first campaign's BBEG's pet dragon throw the BBEG off while flying, sending the BBEG into the ground, his battle-axe falling on top of him, dealing even more damage, and the party ganked him while he was prone.
>Failed a knowledge check about Fae History and Culture, leading to him getting two 20s and an 18 when rolling Perform to pleasure the Fae Queen and about 20 female fae nobles to avoid being enslaved.
>Finished the campaign by using Sympathetic Vibration to collapse an entire mountain on the final BBEG

>Squad needs to breach Hive City spire
>can't get up without wading through bad guys
>Come up with idea
>take a little while to build a fuck huge catapult, an actual honest-to-fuck catapult that could throw a leman russ
>Get in seat all orky like (with parachute)
>get launched out toward spire
>while flying out take rocket launcher, blast hole into side of building
>use parachute as I'm descending, land right in hole
>activate teleport homer for rest of the squad
And that's how I did something stupid very well

>>32910549
>alchemist makes an craft: alchemy check and writes out a page of description of what he does in his prep time to napalm an entire lizard army, rather than go around them/not go that way, etc
>enough xp to level over 70 times
>let him level once

>>32919266
>Pokemon radiation game
Your GM should've read the Supernatural Handbook if he really wanted you to stay the hell away from the rads.

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Don't know if my friend's shitty homebrew would count but fuck it, it was a funny moment

>Friend comes up with his own homebrew system
>Make a grappler monk type character
>Get 'Gloves of Equality' which essentially allows me to grapple anything while wearing them as if they were my own weight which was originally meant to grapple ogres and other large creatures
>Fastfoward to the end of the campaign
>BBEG trying to summon a dragon that was sealed away in the moon
>I get an idea and get the cleric to cast a spell that makes my health unable to fall below 1 while active and get the wizard to launch me at the moon
>Roll 1d20 to grapple the fucking moon
>Natural 20
>Suplex the moon along with the dragon into the Earth
>Completely wreck the BBEG, his Moon Dragon and most of the planet
>Friend stopped playing that homebrew

>>32910549
The only time my first character has been more than a typical dwarf murderhobo.
>Party broke into a dude's boat house to steal it
>the dude have a fancy repetition crossbow because the DM was tired of our shit
>fuck it, I have so much armor I can tank that shit anyways
>brandish a broken watch I had for whatever reason
>yells TIME STOP!
>DM rolls int for the boat owner
>nat 1
>the she-ogre proceed to eat him while he he stares at me in perplexity

>>32910549

Playing Exalted 2e

>Party is camped outside a city in the North, along with dozens of refugees.
>City refuses to open gates, despite agreement with these tribes to protect them in their times of need.
>Varajtul (big-ass three armed cannibals) come charging out of the woods.

>Party leaps into action, trying to fight off the hordes and get the refugees inside the gate.
>Trying to open gatehouse. Fight a staged retreat.
>Party Eclipse says "The fuck is this shit!?"

>Eclipse reveals a magitech motorcycle; rides it up the outer walls of the city, over the inner wall, then rides the bike THROUGH the city gate.
>Charges out into the middle of the Varajtul.
>Proceeds to beat the shit out of the Varajtul, using the motorcycle as a club.

And that's how he became the party's de facto leader. He then proceeded to murder the nobility using a demon lion in a dress, because he thought their last words being "Dandy lion" (dandelion) would be hilarious.

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Wish I had recent ones, these are about one of my old characters in D&D, a rogue with a penchant for traps and explosives.

> Spend a large amount of time creating hilarious amounts of explosives, including vials of alchemists fire and good old fashioned frag grenades
> Party ends up travelling to an abandoned temple to relieve it of a sacred item before an advancing army of evil gets ahold of it
> Party races there, gets in, finds the item, goddess of fates appears to me and pauses time
> Get led outside by the temple by the goddess as she starts rambling on about the fate of existence and I get a monologue the GM had prepared
> End up in front of the enemy army who is surprisingly close to the temple, apparently by magic means
> Spot the vampire leading the army and his three kindred, essentially the vampire's harem
> Goddess continues spouting exposition as I laugh gleefully and start balancing vials of alchemist fire on each of them while leaving a bunch of grenades around their feet
> Get led back into the temple, goddess disappears, extremely loud explosion from outside
>XP for days, son

Later though:

> Avoiding extremely pissed off and smoking vampire by hiding up a tree in a forest
> Startled by him appearing on the branch next to me and threatening to hang me from the tree with my own intestines
> Oh shit run
> Botch Jump check to leap from branch to branch hard
>Plummet to the ground, fail tumble check
> Normally fall damge isn't an issue, but at that point my character had vials of alchemist's fire and grenades on his belt
>Instant Viking funeral, just add gravity

>>32910549
Hoo boy, lemme tell you this one. I've been running a glorified game of pretend with coinflips for a while now. One guy gets cut off from the party, so he ends up playing what's basically a Pikachu as a temporary character while his swordsman is out of commission. There's this other guy who is the party's tank at this point, complete with insane power armor. They then proceed to kill a boss in a floating city by having the guy with the power armor THROW THE PIKACHU AT IT and call enough coinflips in a row to crit succeed. But it's not just that, no. The Pikachu bounces off three buildings, knocks over a fruit stand, hits the mayor in the head, knocks over ANOTHER market stall and gets everything in a 10-foot radius covered in apple jelly, and THEN hits the boss going at some insane speed I don't even remember.

>>32919564

While I'm at it, I now run a Mage game for the same player and, amongst other things, he has made contact with sentient dream-bees (the list of things he's done with said bees is quite extensive), fucked a moon, and created immortality by building the info-god and having it steal people's souls and copies of their minds the instant before death so they can be rebuilt later.

He also tracked down Robespierre, the architect of the French Terror, down to New Jersey in 1971 and shot the guy as a joke for a Duke of Hell (whose dominion was lawyers, accountants, priests, and other thieves who take with the consent of the robbed).

It's been a wild ride.

>Playing a space campaign with touches of Unknown Armies
>Earlier players stole a space craft to get to their location with the help of an illegal rogue AI played by our Loon
>Planet in quarantine with battlecruisers everywhere
>Tractor'd and pulled into do a search of their ship
>Loon ends up running straight into the search officers
>Firefight ensues as Loon runs deep into the ship to go full Rambo
>Rest of the party is doing damage control like they didn't know he was rogue and this ship totally wasn't stolen
>They go on the hunt to help kill their team mate to save their own skins
>Loon setting traps everywhere
>Backup is called in, armed guys everywhere
>Then The Loon gets a crazy idea
>He breaks atmospheric systems to chill his robot body down so it wouldn't show up on thermals
>Built a decoy in engineering/engines
>Rigged the fuck out of it with traps
>Everyone is focused on this last stand
>Officers getting blown to bits left and right, one fuel explosion rips the hull open
>They get into the engine room at the source of the heat signature
>DECOY
>Then the ship starts moving
>Loon had actually left the ship and hacked his way into the tractor controls office
>Dropped ship full of officers and traitorous bastards down on the quarantined planet
>Goes on to hide out in the Battlecruiser until stealing one of the shuttles and blasting the fuck off

Never betray the Loon, it'll end up with a near tpk and him laughing to the bank.

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Bit of backstory on this one:

>> Playing a HIGHLY homebrewed D&D game
>> Homebrew classes allowed and everyone has double hit points due to DM liking big numbers
>> couldn't join game due to scheduling complications, until last week, joining at lvl 8
>> decide to build a character using the Jumper Class, look it up
>> would be OP in a standard game, but in this campaign not so much
>> Also took a few levels into Ballet Fencer, A.K.A the Weiss Schnee Class, pic related
>> DM gave everyone who entered the game a weapon with any +2 enchantment of their choice
>>Discussed about getting the revolver rapier, long story, got it
>> Took compulsive gambler flaw for the fuck of it

Now for the session
>> my character was coming in in her home town
>> decide my first thing to do was con the party out of any loose gold they had, succeeded
>> the bet i put up was 50 gold overtop a bag of rocks, other player bet 5000
>> realize 30 minutes in that DM has no fluff
>> figure its up to me to describe my home town
>> create town layout, location of taverns and orphanages, personalities of NPCs all of the top of my head
>> apparently the party was searching for some elf chick, decide to go to my sources, the orphans
>> learn she was staying at a tavern in town
>> use jump power to steal the taverns log books to find her, all the while hitting on some random elf rouge we met in town
>>fast forward to the end f the day, we here windows broken upstairs
>> Dm says that by the time we got to the room they would be long gone
>> fuckthat.jpg
>> jump onto the roof, give chase
>> fight not meant to win, need to escape
>>every other PC has already ran, mostly because the chase aroused the guards
>> last action before escape, i jump infront of the assasin chick, touch attack to kiss her on the cheek, Shout "Never keep a lady wanting" and jump out

TL;DR created an entire town off the top of my head, nearly got the wizard killed, and got the party chased by guards all night

>be me
>be cleric
>burning hands+rustounk campaign
>evil wizard's guards all armed with flintlocks and gunpowder pouches
>reading
>light book on fire, throw book
>insta kill all enemies
>library
>idea
>steal all the books
>a few levels below were kegs upon kegs of gunpowder and here I am with 478 books and a dagger
>turn all the book I find into book grenades
>go to party hosted by BBEG
>no weapons except book
>rest of the party screwed because weapons are taken at the door
>nothing suspicious about 500+ books leaking gun powder
>deal more damage then the tank
>sneakier than the rogue
>better ranged combat than archer
>am healer
>always bring a good book with you is now my motto in D&D

>>32919409
Well, there was some weird shit going on. One guy melted after his bones turned into highly radiated Tungsten. "Team Alpha" (later revealed at the end of the campaign to be the same people that formed Alpha Complex, of Paranoia fame) was going around exterminating mutants, possibly using some sort of rage-inducing mind control device, which was not good when it got a gym leader, who proceeded to slaughter a town with his Gyarados. The military did get involved at one point, and the region had martial law declared. Some people were looking for ways to stop the harmful radiation, but I was content gaining it's power, taking all the ranks in Immortality, Regeneration, and Metal Control that I could, making a radiocative temple fortress on the metal mountain, where my followers lived. Also took a shit ton of immunities, along with Affects Others and Ranged modifiers, so that no one on the mountain needed to sleep or eat. Eventually the legendaries got involved, and long story short, my mountain got thrown onto the moon (where I formed my own moon mutant colony). All in all, it was probably the best game I've ever been in

I once played a pulpy sci-fi game I forget the name of, but it was essentially a world where everything worked like it did in 40s comic books. So you had fucking Flash Gordon space adventures, mad scientists evolving dinosaurs, super heroes and the pulpy Shadow-esque spy stuff.

Our Loon was a superpowered Luchador I can't remember the name of, but I remember it was something really silly in Spanish, so let's refer to him as El Loco for simplicity's sake. Anyway, El Loco was this super buff dude who could jump around and drop elbows on people and whatnot. His shtick was that he got a strength boost specifically when he used wrestling moves, and his flaw was that he could not remove his mask for any reason whatsoever.

So the party was supposed to infiltrate an illegal underground club. So we all dress for the occasion and manage to sneak our way inside, where we try to get the information we came here for. The thing is, we get stares from fucking everyone in the building, and we don't really understand why. We figured it has to be because we're the new guys, so we try to act cool. It's actually because we've completely forgotten about El Loco's character flaw, and are walking around with a 6'4" giant roid monster wearing a bright red luchador mask in a pinstripe suit.

So we get captured and thrown into cells beneath the club so they can interrogate us later. Since this is a pulp game, it's naturally cells with bars, even though that makes no goddamn sense whatsoever. Anyway, we try to break free for a while, with El Loco's attempts to brute force the cell door barely failing. So we're all brainstorming ways to lure the guards to open the cell, when suddenly El Loco pipes up.

"I put the cell door in a leg scissor."

We all just kind of look at him for a while and he explains that he gets a strength bonus when he uses a wrestling move. After a bit of coercion, the GM lets him try it, and he hurricanranas the goddamn cell door clean off its hinges. Fucking Loco.

My blood cleric guy did something pretty crazy.
>Playing game in a dorf ruins where Demons have started to overrun the place
>My character walks ahead, fighting off the demons to talk to their god deity
>Masquerades as fallen deity and builds up trust; attracts this super strong master-of-war paladin
>Party comes in, sees my guy fighting the super lawful good paladin like "wtf are you doing."
>Do so for awhile before I preach to the demons and turn them onto the god.
>Teammates use the distraction to hit the weakpoint and kill the god.

Blessed is the lord.

My group's Loon started out subtly, but has evolved into his main feature.

Earliest I can think of was his first test of our homebrew system's martial arts mechanics. His first fight was against an orc adult, protecting two smaller orcs. First thing he does is kick a child orc and handle the fight without a single wound. Although to eb fair he wasn't really the Loon of that campaign, most of the party were mildly retarded warriors of some calibur.

Later he made a psychic in a sci-fi game, same system, testing out the newly minted psionics our GM had been working on. By the grace of his rolls he had one of the best stat spreads we've yet seen in the system, and was one fo the best possible teleporters and telekinetics in the universe. He wanted something to move or not move, he could do it. The world was his play thing. His favorite method of removing a threat was to touch it and teleport it 2 miles straight up.

On one planet radioactive phenomenons create small radioactive rocks that provided some benefit to the person holding them, at the cost of easily reversible radiation poisoning, such as increased healing rate. He single handedly stole an entire repository of these rocks from a facility on the planet, and put them on our ship. without proper radiation sealing. Radiation compounds quadratically, not linearly. Thats how my character got severe radiation poisoning and refused to ever set foot near even slight radiation.

By our latest game, fantasy that I'm DMing, he's fully become the Loon. He expects heavy resistance, likely be shot at one sight? He walks up and knocks on the front door.He approaches every single problem with the idea that he's is invincible and undeafeatable. So far he's has not been proven wrong.

>GMing my own setting using pathfinder
>party is getting their asses whooped after aggravating a group of semi-friendly barghests
>two rangers start whacking/shooting arrows, party mage crawls into druid's bag of holding
>druid uses wild shape

>soon they give up
>one ranger refuses to surrender and is totally slain
>a human siding with barghests takes the party's equipment
>scrounging through the bag of holding
>meanwhile the party mage has taken his short off and cast grease on himself
>enemy human scrounges through the bag of holding
>party mage pops out
>topless male
>chest oiled by grease

Yeah. Everyone but the one ranger survived.

> Playing pathfinder
> Legacy of Fire
> Fighting BBEG of the first book
> (It's a demon)
> We're losing pretty badly, the fighter is at half health and the bard is almost dead. The demon has mirror images up so we can't hit it.
> The demon retreats into a hole. The GM must have thought we'd run.
> Haha
> Rogue/Wizard multiclass casts true strike, closes their eyes and jumps after the demon.
> Mirror image doesn't work if the attacker is blinded, true strike negates the penalties for blindness.
> Rogue lands on the demon, hits.
> The rest of the party proceeds to jump after them, the real image highlighted by the rogue sitting on its back.
> Bard tries to jump down and knocks himself out

We managed to kill it eventually.

>D&D 4e Genasi Warlock
>Be a hobo who joined the party because he had nothing better to do.
>Save the Faewild.
>Save it again, have a party at an emperor's castle and spend the night
>In my room, I make a pillow and blanket fort, then remember I'm homeless and sleep outside of it
>Suddenly, Assassins!
>Break into my room, see the pillow fort and leap in ready to strike. No one inside.
>By this time, assassins have attacked the rest of my party and I'm awake.
>I set the pillow fort on fire with the assassins inside.
>Fight breaks out into hallway.
>Defeat assassins, pillow fort fire spreading to rest of the room.
>Give zero shits because it's not my house.
>Go after a doppleganger assassin targeting the king.
>Remind the guard outside his door that my room's still on fire.
>Defeat assassin. Remind king and guards that my room's still on fire.
>Fast forward to next morning.
>Find out half the west wing burned down because no one did anything about the fire.
>I'm just a filthy hobo, not my problem.

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>Set in some 1920s steampunk/superhero era
>My character can mime functional guns
>Fight between unarmed gangs, 50 guys in each size
>I want to stop it
>Only one other PC is here
>I want to shout "Get your hands up"
>In french it's "Mettez vos mains bien en évidence"
>Instead I say "Mettez vos biens bien en évidence"
>Means fucking "GIBE YOUR GOODS"
>I don't realize
>Everyone around the table picture me trying to rob in 1vs100 without any weapon
>The other PC walks out of the street

At least it ended well and this character is still playable

>>32910549
> Party alchemist makes 50lb super fire bomb.
> DM allows because we'll never be able to use it.
> Witch has flight hex and enough strength to fly carrying 70lbs.
> Witch casts invisibility on self and bomb.
> Proceed to basically 50 gallon Molotov enemy base.

>>32919738
You are flipping awesome with this.

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>>32919649
D02?

>>32920416
Honestly, this does look like one the best possible roleplaying systems you could have.
It puts the conflict resolution and silly crunch right where it belongs, way into the background.

>>32920416
Oh snap. That is exactly what I was doing and I didn't even know that EXISTED.

>>32914193
>>32914297
>>32919218

He did eventually get a promotion, after he took out a scarab with the combined materials of -

>the party warthog
>all of the party's c-12 explosives
>four dozen empty food tins, packed full of metal cutlery with a primed grenade at the bottom of each
>two tanks of flamethrower grade napalm
>a length of rope
>a brick
>a fair amount of timing and a remote detonator.

He lured the damn scarab down a tight stretch of buildings where he had the players loading the warthog, and dropped the brick on the accelerator himself - through a mixture of awesome timing and Covie zealotry the scarab impaled the 'hog on one of its front legs and he hit the trigger.

Blowing the fuckers leg clean off.

He then lead the charge to board the damn thing and took out the elite commander in. 1-1 fist fight.

ODST Sergeant Kyle Morantz, you will be missed.

>>32919619
Were you playing Crazy Harry, the Bolshevik Muppet?!

>>32910549

>Playing Pathfinder
>Party going through dungeon
>Sleeping for the night
>weapons and armour get stolen by magic
>play through the next 3 rooms with only wits and fists
>make it to final room
>Final room is long, narrow cliff straight out from door with our swag at other end
>About 20 ft from each side is another shelf along the walls
>shelves are crawling with cultist archers
>BBEG gives party 1 round (6sec in game) headstart
>party runs for weapons
>Im playing the rogue
>instead of running for weapons i jump across one of the gaps with a nat 20
>Get a nat 20 on my grapple check to grab one of the archers
>break his neck
>use him as human shield and take a full round of 10 arrows without 1 dmg
>steal his bow
>kill three archers in the next turn
>use human shield on one of the bodies
>kill three more archers
>party finally reaches weaps
>rest of archers die in seconds
>BBEG storms out
>DM is staring in disbelief
>At lvl 4

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>>32918840
>Starbucks

Yeah, Seattle

>A Slaaneshi cultist in BC decides to try and take over an Eldar ship
>Brings across one of her allies, a guy in power armor with a chaingun
>Orders him to attack the small lander
>All is lost with the Eldar, they're pinned and about to die
>Until she backstabs the chaingun guy.
>Rolls a 10 for fellowship in convincing the Eldar she's a good girl and savior
>She is brought to their captain for rewards
>She ties him up and uses "Fellowship" on him
>She ties up the rest of the crew, knocking them out
>She uses one of their bodies to create a daemon host, gets the captain to drive them back to the main ship
>Places a wraithbone plate over her Mark of Slaanesh, hiding it.
>Goes to the captain, challenges the best warrior in the ship
>Utterly slices to bits with her daemon weapon, and loots his shit
>Brings the daemon host in and mind-fucks the captain into a slave
And then we had an Eldar ship

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>>32920051
>>In my room, I make a pillow and blanket fort, then remember I'm homeless and sleep outside of it

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>>32914154

>>32920208
Had my second session with this character, in which I killed the BBEG in the first session he is introduced; tried to fuck 2 different dragons, and nerfed a fellow PC by removing what is essentially his limit break. Which also need explanation
>> basically half the damage we take and give adds to a limit bar, and when that hits 100 we can do a metric shit-ton of damage

In fact that was the second time I made the DM fuck with that guys PC, because my limit was so strong we had to edit other limits

session will be in a second post, because post limit

>>32929351
Actually this story starts 2 sessions ago, had to stop midway because stupid, see below
Right so:
>> Party goes to cave to figure out what bullshit is causing earthquakes and shit
>> all the while im cracking jokes and teleporting around town to make fluff where there is none
>> finally get to the cave, simple design with some pretty backgrounds, exactly what i expected from the DM
>> but at least i get to fight a fight we can win
>> Kill an earth dragon that looked like its horns were giant boombox speakers
>> proceed to hit the #td4w button everytime the dragon got a turn, made a counter attack, made a save, ect.
>> party dies of laughter everytime
>> kill that, gather some earth dust BS, essentially a way to upgrade my elemental damage on my revolver rapier
>> go downstairs and meet the boss
>> essentally simon from Gurren Laggan, except evil... i guess, never seen the show
>> simon kills a party member, who was dressed as a prinny from Disgaea, DM laughs and changes the music
>> GurranLagganIntro.mp3
>> Prinny dude transforms into Kamina, which we all agreed was hilariously stupid but we moved on
>> then he got Gurran as a, and i quote: Stand
At that point the stupidity was too much to handle so we quit for the night

Cont'

>>32929351
>>32929580
Next week couldn't come fast enough
>> Start up the fight and we get a DMPC, some dude named Whoopa, no not joking on that one
>> Whoopa was with us since we entered the cave, my character has been hitting on him since he showed up, due to no reason other then im having fun and they can't stop me
>> so the fight actually began, stand user Kamina continued to be just as useless as he was before, chip damage galore
>> i continue to warp around the fight hitting and running as i see fit
>> rest of party taking alot of hard hits
>> Whoopa tanking lots of damage, gets limit to full
>> DM's limits were always cool, mainly because they did alot of damage, which we needed to do against Simon's summoned earth elemental
>> Limit goes off, Whoopa turns into a fucking platinum dragon wearing a top hat
>> i lose my shit, throughout my shenanigans i kept a stoneface and tried my best not to laugh, this was not one of those times
>> teammate offhandedly remarks "still wanna hit on him" to which i reply with a hardy FUCK YEAH
>> Whoopa continues to wreck shit, elemental goes down and BBEG simon, who at this point i didn't know was our BBEG tries to escape
>> DM says he is going to fly through a hole in the ceiling
>> i ask the DM how there is a hole up there, we're like 70 feet underground in a cave
>> essentially calling DM's bullshit
>> DM considers and has him half to get past us at the path down into the cave
>> i've already established that my character will ALWAYS give chase
>> Jump in front of Simon, roll a trip, nat 20 roll a grapple
>> Natural FUCKING 20
>> plenty of time for rest of party to catch up, we unleash some limits on him and he start to be close to death
>> Simon absorbs the magic earth dust we kicked up and heals like half his health back
At this point im considering that the DM wants Simon to live
...fuck that.

Cont'

>>32929580
>>32929929
Stupid post limits;
>> in the middle of all this, someone has been casually walking into the fight
>> cue the mysterious swordsman, thats the only title we were given for him, walking up and threatening to fuck our shit in
>> apparently the party had encountered him before, and all agreed that we needed to run
>> My PC was NOT letting Simon escape, it would be too OOC and would be way to boring
>> convince party to push the offensive while i continue to grapple him down
>> on the last hit, the archer got the chance to do non-lethal damage if he so choose
>> cue about a half hour OOC discussion in the middle of a damage roll
>> I'm angry at Simon, mainly because this stupid shield spell he kept casting made my attacks do jack shit
>> Try my damnedest to convince the Archer, who we'll call Q, to kill the little fucker
>> i guess in real life i rolled a nat 20 diplomacy, because Q agreed to headshot the bastard
>> like all important characters that die, Simon gets a finally speech
>> big fantastic speech, he dies, Kamina cries, i think of how to get his body out of here to get some loot off of him
call me heartless, he made me waste turns damn it
>> speech ends, initiative returns and mysterious swordsman is glaring me down with bloddy rage in his eyes, and suddenly the warmage is starting to make Fort saves
>> for the first time my character is in danger
>> but i dont care, most of the party has taken way to much damage for my liking
>> BrilliantIdea.jpg
>>MS's turn, rolls a 5 and still barely misses my character, i proceed to almost lose shit again
>> my turn comes along, i jump myself and simons corpse to the entrance, drop it off and rinse and repeat
>> only allowed to jump 1 other person per turn, and with a party of 5 to get out and the swordsman able to kill in one hit, i think were fucked
>> get the warmage to the entrance next, random DM insisted Fort saves are never good in the middle of a fight

Con't

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I had a player in a D&D 4E game that lived to do weirdass shit in combat. He was playing a bullywug ranger when this gem happened.

>Campaign has hit epic tier.
>The party has retreated from the BBEG, to rest after getting their asses beat.
>Ranger casts a ritual of giant size on his pet alligator "just because".
>He's got a 50 foot long gator. Alrighty then.
>The BBEG's right hand man emerges, is actually old party member, fight begins.
>We get to Ranger's turn.
>"I use my ring of flight to fly 100 feet into the air and end my turn."
>Wat.
>He spends the next four rounds doing this.
>"Okay, I use my daily to swap places with my pet."
>His 50 foot gator is on the ground.
>He's 500 feet in the air above the enemy.
>Oh fuck.
>Cue their former party member being squashed into jelly by 25 tons of gator dropped from 50 stories up.

>>32929580
>>32929929
>>32930407
Should be last one;
>> Warmage finally fails his save, gets infected with evil and starts blasting lightning bolts at the people taking the long way to the enterance
>>thats when i try to escape with my loot and fuck off back to town
>> self preservation and all, its in character
>> DM figures out that this is quickly turning into a TPK sans me, and while an entire session of my wacky antics would be funny, DM disagreed
>> as i start to leave the cave, DM called a reflex save
>> succeed, then see what it was for, a big as hell blue dragon was boring a tunnel through the wall into the cave
>> at this point my character thinks nothing else could possibly go wrong, a 3 way offensive of fights we couldn't possibly win
>> so i did the first this that came to mind, rolled diplomacy to flirt with the dragon
>> turns out the blue dragon was Whoopa's friend and possibly lover
>> and so the planed turned from just me leaving to getting the dragons together to fuck some people up
>> tell DM i want to jump the dragon with me, roll to succeed without being crushed
>> Nat 20, as if the RNG gods personally liked my BS
>> dragons meet up, and while they fend off our former party member and the swordsman, im jumping people out ASAP

Fast forward we get out of the cave, loot the boss for some really good shit, like some glasses that double crit range, and we run away because the dragons didn't actually kill either of the threats

I was later informed by the DM that the warmage was "dead" now, and i had derailed the next 4 sessions by killing this story sections BBEG in his first appearance

So thats the story of how the Jumper got tunred down 4 what, killed a BBEG long before his time, flirted with 2 separate dragons, got a fellow player killed off and reached level 9

Thanks for reading if you did

Just came back from a game where some weird shit happened.

In short, we destroyed an ancient Remorhaz by smashing it's face in then giving it the worst headache of all time, then carried it on about 30 Tenser's Floating Discs because we need it to melt an iceberg.

>>32930839
I'm "Qu" from that campaign, and I need to tell you something.

You are dumbest, most dickish shitlord I know, and those last 3 sessions were the funniest goddamned sessions I've played.

(Something he neglected to mention is killing the BBEG thing was 3 days ago, we're all still kinda laughing about it.)

I used to play a superhero RPG, the original Marvel Superhero RPG. It was classic comic book stuff, mutants and suits of power armor and magic. That kind of stuff. There were four of us in the beginning, though one guy dropped out because of issues. Pretty much all of us were The Loon, even the GM.

The entire thing was pretty ridiculous from start to finish, ranging from me rolling a ridiculously over powered character from start to killing a kaiju in New York. I think what really took the cake was near the end, where we all pretty unanimously decided that this was very silly, and we really should stop. My character had regeneration somewhere between Wolverine and Deadpool. Better that Wolverine, not quite as good as Deadpool. As such, he had a tendency to do stupid stuff for no reason.

One such was jumping from a moving passenger jet without a parachute. Granted, this wouldn't kill him but it would put him out of commission for several in game months as he regenerated. Well, there is a mechanic that allows characters to evade certain types of attacks, completely negating any and all damage. As a bit of a jest, I asked the GM what slamming into the Earth at terminal velocity would count as. His reply was that it would technically be a charge attack levied by the Earth against my character. Guess what was one of the attacks that could be negated?

So, I rolled the dice for no real reason than I could. I didn't expect anything to happen, largely because what could happen, right? So naturally I roll a flat 100, which in this game is like rolling a nat 20 except better.

So, according to the dice, I managed to dodge a charge attack from the Earth. As the saying goes, flying is just throwing yourself at the ground and learning to miss. Or in this case, dodge.

>>32919291
>Genre Saavy
>Genre Saavik
Vulcans in chainmail bikinis when?

>>32919657
>>32919657
This is why Mage is the best damned game.

>>32919291
And just after midnight, July 22nd, I began to roll up a bard.

>>32932840
Then?

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>>32910549
"It's big."
"It's wet."
"It's out of control!"

>>32932840
July is next month

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>Playing Descent 2nd edition. Location is at some LGS in a mall, coincidentally having some cosplay festival of sorts on the same day.
>Game is alright with the only problem being the overlord(DM also known as the guy to make the party's life miserable) making sure he maximizes each of his creature's potential to their greatest extending taking a boatload of time.
>Literally taking time to calculate and rethink strategies. Actually looking at this hand of cards and contemplate each time he moves a SINGLE creature.
>Creatures come in GROUPS, easily upward 5 creatures in a group.
>Creatures RESPAWN at the start of the round. Making this a very, very long grind and dice rolling contest.

>After 3 hours and the party has not completed half of the event.
>Me and another guy we shall call L is pretty much bored out of our wits at this point in time so we decided to go with a balls out approach just to keep things interesting.
>Throw caution to the wind, leave our fate to the dice gods and break formation. Literally start slaughtering everything and hope to kill everything before they can repay the favor
>Tank of the party starts freaking out since he can't cover our squishy asses
>Rogue and mage lead the charge with the tank and healer on cleanup.
>Decided to infuriate the overlord by dancing around each time we kill a minion, he rolls badly or takes too long to think.
>Table gets very loud and active thanks to us constantly breaking dance moves thanks to constant lucky rolls. Notice we have been surrounded by cosplayers and normalfags.
>Game gets heated up when the bloody dragon respawns for like the 5th time, corners us and we roll badly. Back to the wall, no allies in sight, silver of health.
>Overlord starts gloating and begins a monologue. Rolls high enough to kill me unless i can match.
>Hand half my dice to crazy mage who broke formation with me.
>Both of us roll crits.
>literally shout 'STEP IT UP SENNNPAAAIII.' while the both of us start dancing.
>Picture related

Not at my computer so I can't post the full story, but I'm pretty sure I'm the loon. It involved an incredibly accurate throw, a pompous paladin on a podium carried by footmen and a potion of true random transformation

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>>32919299
Don't pretend you weren't doing it based on this

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>>32919444
You probably did more damage than a fucking dragon by making a moon fall, extinguish life on the planet and kill every survivor through ensuing impact winter.
You aren't the Loon, you are not even That Guy. You went full BBEG.

>>32910549
In deathwatch I had a player that launched a rhino off a lift that was going up into a walking hive city superweapon (that's another story) into an ork jet fighter about a kilometer above the ground, he then took over what was left of the still flying wreck and crash landed so they all didn't die.

That same session they took the walking hive city superweapon over, figured out it could fly, he flew it into the upper atmosphere of the planet and crippled the warboss's capital ship in a literal giant walking spider city bot vs spaceship mele.

>>32937043
Something that happened in that same campaign now that I think of it.

>Party was on a Tau manta ray, trying to save an Imperial Lord Commander from capture.
>They fight their way into the hanger, find the lord commander and a shitton of pissed off Tau troops and a battlesuit wearing officer
>Suit and Assault marine get into intense mele duel
>Everyone else desperately trying to fight well armed Tau squads off
>Heavy weapons guy says fuck it, runs down a side path that leads to the main deck
>stealthily walks into the room and then uses rocket launcher to blow everything and everyone in the room the fuck up
>kills the flightcrew and all the controls
>entire ship starts failing and falling from low orbit
>hanger doors are opened, entire ship sideways
>Through rolls, someone drops the lord commander and he falls out
>Party says fuck it, they pack themselves into a hammerhead and the techmarine knows just enough to fall with style
>they "fly" out and realise they aren't fast enough to catch up with lord commander falling
>assault marine jumps out and jetpacks his way as fast as he can
>meanwhile tech marine realises they have company
>It's two Riptides they saw docked in the hanger
>falling tank airduel with two deadly domorobos ensues
>Assault marine catches the falling Lord Commander, gets hit from behind, it's that suit wearing Tau he thought he finished off
>Tau proceeds to beat him in a grapple and tears his jetpack off his armor
>meanwhile the falling riptide duel is going badly for the techmarine and the rest, they killed one suit outright but then they rolled a 100 and jammed the rail cannon
>techmarine flips the tank around and opens the entry door, heavy weapons guy makes a near impossible shot and crits, blows the riptide out of the fucking sky
>back to assault marine
>he realises tau suits have jets
>grapples the Tau officer, opens it with a really hard tech use
>pulls the tau out and throws him into the abyss
more....

>>32937212
>fucks with the suit enough to slow them down so they catch up with the falling tank
>they climb in and button up as the ground is now approaching
>Techmarine manages to position them over a lake and they fall in, good rolls for "driving" save their lives as the tank is smashed into a messy pulp
>They barely are able to swim out of the lake due to their power armor, but they all make their rolls
>watch as an entire Tau Manta makes impact a few kilos away, blows up like a small nuke
>just another day in the deathwatch

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I once befriended a Displacer Beast in d20 Urban Arcana.

> Friendly Magical Research Facility is doing friendly magical research.
> Part of this involves doing full scans on basically fucking everything.
> Magical Research Facility is looking for info on a Displacer Beast sighting.
> Party tried to catch it before, taking astoundingly heavy damage to both selves and car due to miss chance.
> It immediately escapes from the lab the next day.
> neveragain.jpg

> Cut to two thirds of the way through the campaign.
> playing little goth girl with clerical powers.
> Suddenly get the bright idea, "I bet I can make friends with it."
> Party thinks this is fucking bullshit. It almost killed us last time, you can't make friends with it.
> They go along to humor her and make sure she doesn't die.
> Turns out Faerie Fire is a clerical power that removes the Displacer Beast's miss chance.
> After that it's just a case of pumping it full of tranquilizers from a distance.
> While it's unconscious, she puts a magic babelfish in its ear so it can speak and understand language that she commissioned for her pet bat from the researchers (who now double as magic item crafters).
> Cast another clerical spell to temporarily raise its intelligence to human levels.
> Give it cat food and politely explain how it will be given more food and a place to sleep if it's nice to researchers.
> This totally fucking works.
> Displacer Beast now roams the compound acting all chill for the rest of the campaign.

>>32920840
That's not a loon. That's a fucking action hero.
I want that guy on my team in a fight.

Once I pissed off the BBEG so badly he scrapped every plan he had just to try killing me with a speech about how I was going to kill him, use the money to build some orphanages, and they'd be the only way anyone would ever know him, and that would be as a a plaque saying "to the hamster fucker, without who none of this would have been possible."

Does this make me the Loon since everyone survived the sudden arrival of the bastard except for him?

>>32935745
>>32936419
Shut up it was late for me

>>32919444
>5% chance to suplex the moon
DnD is silly.

>>32938102
>>Friend comes up with his own homebrew system
Dude, DnD is awful, but you still need to learn to read.

>>32938271
Fine.

"d20 is silly".

>>32931101
Did you guys play via chat or something?

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>>32914210
Still, you would think the guards were worth some xp

Probably mild, but:

>Dark Heresy
>First time playing w/ new group, come in at end of campaign
>GM was a cool guy and let me borrow a guardsman character
>Come up against Chaos space marines
>Other PC Priest has thunder hammer, hasn't gotten out of transport
>Look at skill sheet
>Drive
>Nat 1 (In 40krpg, you aim to roll low)
>Drive-by-thunder-hammers
>Heads everywhere
>Steel Rain

>playing mistborn RPG
>iwanttobethelittlegirl.jpeg
>roll a 12 year old pewter arm. Rest of party consists of hazekiller who has never read the rules and a mistborn whose player isn't good at characterization.
>party falls into a trap set by government soldiers to capture mistings. Soldiers moving in from all directions
>my character tears through a squad and finds the road south blocked by an inquisitor
>fuck that
>roll 4 exceptional successes to muscle past a misting protecting his unconscious comrade, pick fallen guy up, throw him, and hit the inquisitor.
>DMsfacewhen.gif
>inquisitor spends a round dislodging his Axe from the misting's corpse.
>steal a coach from the coach house from mistings with the same idea by virtue of intimidate while being covered in blood and having torn the door off the building as she entered.

>>32910549
>3.5
>Me (Human Cleric), Kobold Sorcerer, Dorf Paladin, and Human Monk
>Ridiculously powerful wizard requires things for a spell seed
>One of those things is a piece of the Elder Tree in the forest near town
>fighting giant spiders, trying to get to the tree
>start losing pretty bad
>Kobold Sorcerer is KO'd but not dead; my Cleric has taken strength damage
>Toss the monk a knife; tell him to get some bits of the Elder Tree so we can retreat (he's closest to the tree and also the fastest)
>monk carves A FIVE FOOT BY FIVE FOOT SQUARE OF BARK OFF OF THE TREE
>grabs the kobold and books it
>We get back to town: monk with a kobold over one shoulder and a fucking roll of wood carpet over the other; dorf paladin half-carrying a limping human cleric
>guards are baffled as hell
>monk is banned from the forest forever

We wouldn't put up with his shit if he weren't so damn successful. Fuckin' vow of poverty, man...

>>32936957
>4.5MB .gif
Sorcery!

>>32944182
/tg/ has a 8MB size limit. It was raised around the same time pdf functionality was added.

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>>32910549
I am the loon.
>Playing dungeon world
>Party is chasing after bandits who used dire ravens to steal reward for local tourney
>Get carried away by raven while attacking base
>Drops me in the nest
>Tell DM I want to use my escape route ability and 50 ft of rope to jump on it's back and tie the rope around it's neck like reigns.
>15
>I jump on it's back, tie the rope, and fly off
>Trainer chases after me, have a mid-air battle with our raven mounts
>Mfw

>>32910549
>DnD 4e
>be GM
>party is climbing wizard tower
> party stumbles into elemental plane of fire (volcanos errywhere)
>party says fuckit and starts running to the exit
>Giant fuck hueg dragon god pulling itself from the magma
> its supposed to be a set piece to up the fear
>Fighter decides to slow it down to defend party
> OhWhatTheFuckHaveIDone.jpeg
> Dragon charges up giant fire blast
> Fighter makes an acrobatics and a climb check to clamber up the dragon
> "I am gonna Steve Irwin his ass and clamp his mouth shut"

>No.
>Yes.
>Roll it
>19
>opposing roll on dragon
>1
>check bonuses and the dragon is being wrastled like it was on animal planet

The same fucker at level 2 set a swinging log trap on fire, and beat a troll to death with it.
He also caught a living mountain's fist mid punch. I love that crazy fucker.

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>>32943602
>Fuckin' vow of poverty, man...

>>32944868
>check bonuses and the dragon is being wrastled like it was on animal planet
That's neat, but how the fuck did he get out of that situation?

>>32946105
If I could take a guess, a dragon chagrin it's lazor without the ability to output probably results in explosion within, and it's nostrils burstign into flames and rupturing.

Actually, holy shit, this is the most viable way to kill a dragon ever, just seal it's mouth mid fire charge for self damage.

>>32946152
Yeah... no.

>>32946190
Have you ever seen what happens if you seal a persons mouth and nostrils off, and you say cause them to throw up/ burp

Something either pops due to the sheer pressure, or they drown in their own bodily fluids.

Dragons would be no exception.

Actually, fire breathing and sealing off the mouth and nostrils would probably burn out all the oxygen in the body, causing the dragon to pass out.

>>32946152
>>32946190
>>32946241
Could've sworn dragons were immune to their own breath weapons.

>>32946280
Is a dragon immune to having to breathe air and the pressure of explusing their breath attacks which would build up without release?

Could have sworn their was plenty of fluff with dragons who had exceptionally strong breath which caused a number of medical health issues.

I mean, lets imagine a Dragon has a small throat based internal wound caused by magical damage in the breath track, that shit'd turn into a surgeon's fucking nightmare in a few months given dragon lifestyle

>>32946350
I'm not going to argue about selective realism in RPGs with you.

>>32946615
I mean if it's a ethereal non air dragon sure, but I'm pretty sure they do need air.

Besides, you'd have to be a statistic piece of shit GM to not allow such a good use of role playing and actual planning and brains to solve such an encounter.

Like causing a hydra to pass out from blood loss due to it growing to many heads and having too many for it's body to support the weight.

>>32946105
He did the only thing a horrendously lucky overly buff moron can do. He punched it in the face and ran. Somebody used a teleport power on him or something to help him out.

>>32938694
Combination of Skype, Maptools and smoke signals, mostly

I think being Kralli the Jester qualifies me as a Loon, but the character wasn't long-lived enough to get into REALLY insane shit.

>Be Kralli the Jester
>Party is traveling through the desert
>At the top of a dune up ahead, there is a goddamned horde of bandits
>We begin talking to them, they demand payment to pass by
>Someone in the party asks what they'll do if we don't pay
>As bandit leader starts bragging, can tell where this is going so I cast Sleet Storm
>One speck of ice bounces off the bandit leader's head as he's monologuing at us, he looks up in surprise because it's the goddamned desert
>Him and his army get buried in sleet, about half of them slide down the dune out of it
>They charge us, proceed to cast pyrotechnics and sleet storms everywhere, using crowd control to render mooks useless
>They have a minotaur who rushes the barbarian, break a pocket mirror to cast Unluck, costing it a crit
>Bandit army gets picked off by five or six people just because one of them is a clown who didn't want to put up with some punk boasting atop a sand dune

>>32949630
>Be hanging out in tavern with the other party casters. Kralli is hanging out underneath the table, because he goes out of his way to be lolrandom for the sake of getting weird looks and random laughs.
>Some people from the local gang we're investigating take a table nearby.
>Banter between them and us, thinly veiled threats being used.
>One of them is holding a crossbow under the table, point in our direction.
>Cast Tasha's Uncontrollable Hideous Laughter.
>Their ringleader makes some threat at us and laughs.
>Mooks laugh with him.
>One of them doesn't stop laughing.
>They just leave him there on the floor laughing.
>We pick up him and interrogate him.

>>32919266
... you played Red?

>>32930839
>>32931101
>>32948539

How or where could I get in on a game as ridiculously awesome as this one?

>>32915822
Or a horrifying story, if this party was good in any possible way.

>>32914288
That just means that someone has 12,000 gold somewhere, and now you get to steal it.

>>32920595
what happened to him?

>>32929580
>essentally simon from Gurren Laggan, except evil... i guess, never seen the show
shit's free on hulu, get on that ASAP

haha, i was the loon of my adventuring group.

things i've succeeded at in-game:
-firing a rock-eating hammer from a half-broken crossbow into an earth elemental, striking it squarely with a 20 and a 19
-made a dwarf that threw weapons as a primary means of attack, slew a hydra from two floors down with a thrown short sword (critical strike)
-critical miss to hit a thing with a crossbow, followed by 20,20,19 - killed a thing outside the tower i was fighting in.

meanwhile, i can't hit anything with a simple attack roll, and fail utterly when i employ conventional tactics like 'i hit it with my sword'. but nah, if i leap from the balcony wielding a chair, i'll roll incredibly. it's like the universe wants me to be absurd.

>>32919664
glorious

I had exactly one moment of this in ASOIF game.
>create commoner informant character in mostly noble/knight party
>find out liege's house is basically disintegrating around them
>mfw 0xp character is now the spymaster
anyways...
>travelling to tourney with party, last chance of retaining house notoriety
>carriage passes by
>goddamn clown car, 12+ bandits jump out
>knife fails to penetrate armor, get nearly killed in 1 turn by double team
>welp.jpg
>mock surrender, wait for bandits to ignore me
>make a break for their cart
>lucky attack, 1-shot driver with stiletto
>lucky handle animal roll (1 rank), send horses directly into the melee
>kills 8 bandits, no friendly injuries, whole party survives
>most kills out of whole party
>"who's useless in a fight now?"

>Playing Dark Heresy with a game group of four guys (including myself) and two girls. One of the girls is the GM for the group.
>The party consists of, an inquisitorial storm trooper, a clerk, a tech priest, a Sister of Battle and a guardsman(me).
>Game has already gotten weird. Fighting a particularly rowdy band of slanneshi cultists in an old, crumbling hive ruled by corrupt nobles. Criminals were also running around with flack armour and tau pulse rifles.
>To make matters worse, the Inquisitor was a tsundere yandere towards the party (a psycho bitch that will kill anything to preserve what she cares about (yandere), but won't admit her feelings (tsundere)
>I've had to make 4 new characters by now as they have all been killed in some way.

Now onto the crazy part:
>We're searching a warehouse in search of some noble arsehole's daughter.
>She went missing and the cult is presumed to be responsible for it.
>We're sent in to find her to improve relations with the nobles.
>Eventually we make it into the third storage chamber.
>Some guards are there, nothing that can't be solved by shooting indiscriminately. There are also shipping containers.
>Search the shipping containers, thus-far things were normal packages of food, scrap metal, engine parts and assorted equipment.
>The first container contains a lot of children, orphans to be precise. They were kidnapped from an orphanage a few days ago.
>The second, third and forth containers hold heavy weapons and contraband tau pulse rifles, along with ammo.
>The fifth contains a bunch of nude women. Including the noble's daughter.
>The final two contain Chimera APCs and clothes.
>The building is surrounded by cultists who demand our surrender.
>GM's idea was that we barricade ourselves in until extraction arrives.
>Nope.gif
>A few minutes of tinkering later and the front door of the warehouse explodes. Out speeds a bastard vehicle made from the two chimeras, some shipping containers and a lot of scrap.
(cont)

>>32955124
>The contraption move incredibly fast for it's bulk because the cargo holds of the chimera's have Been filled with engines.
>The front of the contraption is an armoured prow and the shipping container that straddles the two chimeras is packed with the civilians. The tech priest is making on-the-fly repairs and the clerk is driving.
>The contraption is described as a cross between a crassius armoured transport and the rape train.
>It then proceeds to plough through buildings while escaping. The party members both repairing the contraption and defending it from following cultists.
>Eventually it reaches the highway, chased by cultists in jeeps and motorbikes. The party is still just shooting them down with the tau weapons.
>The rape-train (as we now refer to it) then hits a civilian car, it starts to burn and gets stuck on the front of the plough.
>The whole thing is being watched by civilian news channels. The GM describes it as, "nearly daemonic".
>The party calls for extraction as the enemy draws closer.
>The stormtrooper then shoots the burning car off the front. With the smoke now out of the way, the party can see what is happening behind them.
>They are being followed by both cultists, arbitaes and emergency services.
>Seriously, it's a cluster fuck.
>While the party is staring at the scene, a daemon host boards them with a pair of guards.
>He proceeds to try to behead the SoB, but misses.
>While those two are fighting, the guards and two other party members are engaged in a furious, close up fire-fight.
>The guards are killed but the daemon host is about to kill the SoB.
>Just then, the tech priest pops up from inside the chimera and cuts the daemon host in half with a fire-axe.
> As that happens, extraction arrives in the form of the Inquisitor's personal thunderhawk. As it's the only craft we have that can carry everyone out.
>SoB and stormtrooper attach themselves to winch lines and act as a ferry system for the survivors.
cont

>>32950617
I approve - manga RED of course

File: 1402073236611.jpg (29 KB, 640x480)

29 KB JPG

>>32955349
>Me and the tech-priest are left defending it on the ground while the thunderhawk's auto-turrets provide overwatch.
>By the time half of the civilians are evacuated to the gunship, the enemy nearly has a foothold on the back of the rape train.
>The civilians are being extracted from the front anyways so the tech priest orders me to the front part before then cutting off the rear-chimera.
>after being cut loose, it then proceeds to hit a cult car before exploding.
>Before long it's just the tech priest, the clerk and me left aboard.
>The SoB then comes down with rescue lines for all of us and a bomb to plant.
>We plant the bomb and GTFO.
>While being winched away, my line gets shot off.
>Thankfully the tech priest grabs it just as my boots meet the ground.
>The gunship pulls away as the bomb goes off. Me dangling some twenty meters under the gunship on a broken line.
END OF MISSION

>mfw the entire party is Loons

>>32955437
>>32955349
>>32955124
Well that was super awesome. Damn I love you Loons

>>32956573
I highly recommend that if you're in a campaign that isn't entirely serious, be The Loon and have fun with the bullshit that a DM will allow

>>32955437
>>32955349
>>32955124
Gotta love it when everyone gets it. Also, your squad is more Loon Action Hero.

>playing Battlestar Galactica: The Board Game
>loon is playing Gaius Baltar
>he's acting crazy and silly and doing seemingly random shit
>we honestly can't tell if he's just fucking around as usual or is a cylon
Turns out he was, and it was all coordinated sabotage. Goddamnit.

>>32956573
>>32956655

Things only got weirder from their. For example:
>tech priest seduced the cult leader
>Falling from sub orbit while battling chaos raptors
>Fighting t greater daemon of slannesh that cried in pleasure when hit with a power fist
>The ordo chromos out of no-where.
>seducing a rouge trader
>Inquisitor becoming more and more yandere
>My characters constantly dieing. Leading to a streak of me playing inventive suicide bombers until the GM banned me.
>Taking a cruiser single handidly
>Crashing said cruiser into an enemy fortress hive.
>Two NPC, lesbian SoBs joining the retune.
>Sending a star into supernovae to take out a 'nid hive fleet.
>saving a planetary governess from genestealers.
>Nearly everybody yelling "Get Rekt" at some point.

>>32959620
I think these need to be described in more detail, ser
and possibly added to the wiki

>>32959715
>tech priest seduced the cult leader
He stuck his mechanderites into her places. He was unavailable for the next few sessions. In game he was taking a long bath in holy machine oils and taking penitence. IRL, the player was away on business.
>Falling from sub orbit while battling chaos raptors.
We boarded their stormbird to rescue some important NPC. We exploded something we shouldn't have and ended up falling back to the planet. We battled their unit of raptors while falling, I died when I was beheaded by their leader. But everyone else survived by using grav-chutes.
>Fighting a greater daemon of slannesh that cried in pleasure when hit with a power fist.
That was weird as fuck. Died when I speared it into a tank of promethium and detonated my melta charges.
>The ordo chronos out of no-where.
They appeared and acted as NPCs for a while before leaving us a cryptic warning.
>seducing a rouge trader
we needed passage back to the inquisitor. SoB made the ultimate sacrifice. her anal virginity
>Inquisitor becoming more and more yandere
Everything we talked with ended up dead to the level that my myriad of ever-dieing charaters were used to interact with everyone.
>My characters constantly dieing. Leading to a streak of me playing inventive suicide bombers until the GM banned me.
I got angry at the constant deaths. The worst was leaning against a metal railing that then collapsed, causing me to fall into a group of orks.
>Taking a cruiser single handidly
Tech priest vented everything except from the bridge, we had taken that.
>Crashing said cruiser into an enemy fortress hive.
Self explanatory.
>Two NPC, lesbian SoBs joining the retune.
The GM wanted a romance sub plot as the two SoB's became more bi.
>Sending a star into supernovae to take out a 'nid hive fleet.
remember meeting the ordo chromos? yea we were waitiong for them.

>>32959991
>saving a planetary governess from genestealers.
We rescued her while she was "pregnant" with a pure strain geanstealer. The removal operation was a success.
>Nearly everybody yelling "Get Rekt" at some point.
Self explanatory.

If there's one you want me to explain in detail then just ask. One at a time though.

>>32914938
You know there was a religion based on that concept.

>>32918902
Shit I need to talk my group into shadowrun.

>>32959991
Your GM sounds obnoxious as fuck, what with forcing the "turning lesbians" fetish

>>32961158
Honestly, things were getting boring. Then again. It was a pretty bad move though.