Officially Two Thirds of the Way There EditionYou are Shax Gloombreaker, goblin chieftess, and you are in a tight spot! You're holding out against an entire temple's worth of high elven defenders, and they're pretty angry you've got their ancient magical artifact in your hands. Is it an ancient evil artifact? You don't really know much about this junk. >8/56 BtB exp>2/56 MSiF exp>44/48 CyRCTHaM exp>31/32 FMMM exp, 3/3 Tidal Points>Shax's Stuff! So you can keep track: http://pastebin.com/U3hKZfAd>ABILITY TREE: Temporarily suspended as I get it caught up.>I'm the boss! Points: 0>Pearls: 4Come to think of it. Aren't you in a temple with a bunch of priests who know about this junk? Why don't you just ask them! "Hey!" You call out, looking around a corner and ducking back as firey lances and arcane blasts hit the wall. "Wait! I wanna ask you a question!"A few moments later a elf calls back, "Whaddaya want?"You hold the crystal orb out so they can see it. "What the heck does this thing do anyways?""It's worthless and you should probably just leave it back in the room.">The elf rolled a 8 on his bluff check! He didn't pass."Seriously! Tell me what its for. Some lady told me to break all of them." You pretend like you're going to drop the thing."Definitely please don't do that please!" You're not getting anywhere with these guys.>Just hold out. Dorle, Mani, and Whoop should be here soon.>Make a daring and cinematic escape with Brokagh.>Play a game with Brokagh to pass the time.
>Play a game with Brokagh to pass the timeThis sounds like fun.
>>32861619>>Play a game with Brokagh to pass the time.Play catch with the ancient magical artifact, what could possibly go wrong?
>>32861619Play a shiritori with the elves!
>>32861619We should try spinning. That's a neat trick!
>>32861619>>Make a daring and cinematic escape with Brokagh.
>>32861619>Play a game with Brokagh to pass the time.Play the game of "Who can kill the most elves"
>>32861715If they don't play, threaten to break it.
woot, first time in a live one.during DSP
>>32861619>Play a game with Brokagh to pass the time.
>>32861619>Two Thirds of the Way There EditionI am sad.>Play a game with Brokagh to pass the time.
>>32861776>>Two Thirds of the Way There EditionS-surely he means two thirds of the way to divinity and not the end of quest
What game would you like to play with Brokagh?>who can kill the most elves>the kissing game (it is a knife game not a lewd game, perverts!>charades>brokagh has some playing cards, you can play go fish or old maid>some sort of dice game
>>32861619Is it laser beam time? I think it's laser beam time Shax
>>32861821That guy looks like The Pursuer in rape-mode from DkS2.
>>32861814Not a good old fashioned game of catch?
>>32861814Old maid. Only instead of Old Maid, we call it Allonces.Because nobody wants Allonces.
>>32861858>>32861845>>32861843All three, then.Writing!
We're going to play a game of keep-away while singing aren't we?
>>32861930Singing mean songs about Allonces and her stupid dark elf friend
>>32861965Please no bully
>>32861858Plz no bully Allonces.
>>32861858I want Allonces to be Shax's pet forever.
>>32861988Just realized we could legitimately register her as our pet/loot when we get home. Amusing.
>>32861988Should have gotten "If you Feed Them" or what ever.>>32862029This nigga gets it.
"Dorle and Mani sure are taking a while, huh?" Brokagh says, idly. The elves haven't made a run at you holed up in the room in a while. Not since Brokagh punched through one guy's head and had to shake the whole dead elf off his wrist like a weird sorta puppet show. It made you giggle.Still, it is kinda boring. The murals on the walls depict some sorta elves and demons doing something but it is lame elf art so you can't even begin to care. "Hey, wanna do something to pass the time?""Not my type, kid. Besides there is a time and place for everything." Brokagh waves dismissively.You look at the crystal ball in your hand, "Hey wanna throw this around? Play catch or something." Brokagh arches an eyebrow. "Come on, it might be fun!" The orc shrugs and stands up, stretching a bit as you start to toss the orb back and forth for a bit. "Maybe this is a little boring, too?""Yes." Brokagh nods."How about a singing contest!""Ehhh. Who would be the judge?"You hear an elf shout out, "I'll judge!"You jerk a thumb at the entrance, "That guy."Brokagh shrugs, "Alright. Guess I'll start." He clears his throat for a bit, looks around, takes a swig of something from a flask, clears his throat again and closes his eyes. "Hum-um. Oooooh, farewell and goodbye to you fair Orcish ladies, farewell and goodbye to you ladies of Kron, For we've received orders to raid old Manderlay, and hope very shortly to see you agon." You mentally dock points for not rhyming. "We'll rant and we'll roar, like true orcish raiders, we'll rant and we'll rave across the-" A sputtering cough cuts him off.The elf outside speaks up, "I'll give it a six out of ten. A smooth, strong baritone, but amateurish at best. Maybe with a voice coach?""No one in the whole damn underdark is a voice coach, you pansy!" Brokagh growls back.It's your turn!>Sing a goblin children's song>Sing a song that Sitri taught you>Sing a song you heard those dark elves in those tents sing
>>32862234>Sing a song that Sitri taught youSitri is the best at singing and that means you'll be the best at singing too.
>>32862234>Sing a song that Sitri taught youSitri knows this stuff, right? Better go with her. It's, like, professional!
>>32862234>>Sing a song you heard those dark elves in those tents sing
>>32862234>Sing a song that Sitri taught youThis should be amusing.
>>32862234>Sing a goblin children's songIt'll play to our strengths
>>32862234>Sing a goblin children's song>Sing a song that Sitri taught you>Sing a song you heard those dark elves in those tents singChief, you're not supposed to make all the options equally tempting.
>>32862234>Sing a song that Sitri taught youI cannot foresee any possible repercussions.
>>32862234>Sing a song that Sitri taught you
>>32862234>Sing a song you heard those dark elves in those tents sing
>>32862234>>Sing a song you heard those dark elves in those tents singKILL! BURN! MAIM!
>>32862234>>Sing a goblin children's songDrop the moebomb.There shall be no survivors.
>>32862234>>Sing a song that Sitri taught youoh yes
>>32862234>Make something up about how turtles are awesome and can totally kick bear ass.
>>32862234>>Sing a goblin children's song
Sitri song by a landslide.Give me a d20 roll to see how well you sing!
Rolled 9>>32862453Here I go!
>>32862234>>Sing a goblin children's songI want to know what goblin children sing of. It's probably terrible or depressing or both.
Rolled 10>>32862453Shax is a good singer, right?
Rolled 11>>32862453how Fun will this be today?
Rolled 15>>32862472Well, fuck.
Rolled 7>>32862505I kinda want her to be.Maybe Sitri can tell us what we're doing wrong.
>>32862453Fuck, I was hoping Sitri would lend Shax her magical attraction for a great song and all the elves would swoon (especially the chicks).
>>32862490She's not great, apparently.Writing!
Good thing we got all those mediocre rolls out of our system, r-right guys?
>>32862555i will protect jade's smile
>>32862538Well... average is better than terrible, atleast.
>>32862623And we can still have a second round. Best of three?
>>32862623Average is failure without being so bad it's good.
>>32862640Yeah. Maybe Shax could get some advice. I know she has it in her.
>>32862453Average eh?Maybe this will change your mind...
>>32862640"Yay! We got a 5/10!" isn't really a something you can get behind...
>>32862748this is OWQ, yay we didn't get 1/20! is something we should all get behind.
>>32862779A Nat 1 would have been pretty hilarious though
>>32862810The elves would either attack or surrender in a bit so shut us up.
>>32862810So would a nat 20, reallyShax's voice moves the elves so much that they forsake everything they stand for and join her merry band.>'Oh darn, an entire army of Allonces. Can you all like go and hide somewhere I can't see you?'
>>32862883I was really hoping for a nat 20
You remember this song going well over on Yselathe with the audience. Though it was mostly women. You clear your throat and try to get a smooth deep voice like Sitri had. You close your eyes and let loose, "I've been really tryiiiiiiiiiiin', baby." You clench a fist and lean over. "Tryin to hold back these feelings for so long! And if you feeeeeeeeeeeeeeel... like I feel, baby. Come on, ooohhhh come onnnn."Brokagh nervously glances at the entrance to the room."Let's get it on." Brokagh nervously glances at you, "Ahhhh! Baby! Let's get it.. on. Let's loove baaaby! Let's get it on, let's love, baby." Brokagh walks over to you. "We're alllll sensitive people. With so much to give!" He clamps a hand over your mouth."Hahaha, wasn't that a funny joke! Oh man! My raid leader definitely wasn't singing a song like that!" He proceeds with a very fake laugh before you remove his hand from your face."Hey! What's my point score?"The elf responds with, "I'd give it seven out of ten. That's some provocative subject material, really pushing the boundaries of impromptu elven temple singing contests. I'd say you narrowly edge out the orc.""Hah! I'm the winner!" You stick a tongue out at the orc.Rolling his eyes, Brokagh takes a pack of cards out of his belt, "Let's play something I'm better at. My mom always said I was lucky." He starts shuffling them, "You know how to play anything? Five card draw? High-low Rillago? Follow the Queen?"You raise a hand, "Oooh! Oooh! Old Maid!" Brokagh stops shuffling and leans back."Don't have an old maid card."You grab a card at random and scribble an unhappy face on it. "There. I made one."Then you proceed to beat Brokagh. Four times in a row. When you start gathering cards for the fifth one, Brokagh looks around. "What the hell are Dorle and Mani even doing?">Just cut open a hole in the wall and get outta here.>Ask the elves if they've seen two dwarves and a fish man.>Ask Brokagh to teach you how to play Five Card Draw.
>>32862934>Ask the elves if they've seen two dwarves and a fish man.>Just cut open a hole in the wall and get outta here.
>>32862934>Ask the elves if they've seen two dwarves and a fish man.
>>32862934>>Ask the elves if they've seen two dwarves and a fish man.>Just cut open a hole in the wall and get outta here.
>>32862934Ask them to let you leaveThey seem pretty chill.
>>32862934>Ask the elves if they've seen two dwarves and a fish man.Where is my minions at?
>>32862934>>Ask the elves if they've seen two dwarves and a fish man.They should know. Also ask them if they've seen out friend Fred. You never know we randomly ran into him during that tournament, so why not again?
>>32862934>Get that Elf to join out partyI'd love to have this asshole around, if only so he can comment on everyones performance in battle.
>>32862934>cut the cards and deal another round while engaing the elves in interrogation around the wall
>>32862934>>Ask the elves if they've seen two dwarves and a fish man.They've been oddly friendly so far, can't hurt.
>>32863045>You call that a swing? 0/10, do you even lift?
>>32862934We should talk to the elf people.They are so strange, keeping their gods in orbs.
annie you're okay but you're jealous but you're okayWriting
>>32863137Maybe we could learn how to stick that Devourer/Hungerer/Whatshisface guy in an orb?
>>32863203Sounds like a pretty good idea.Though that means we're gonna need two orbs -- one for our own ascension, and one to seal the Hungerer.
>>32863203I wanna bethe very bestlike noone ever was
Why hate hungerer so much? We don't need no goblin souls for ourselves so may aswell let the guy keep taking them. We are on our own path to godhood.
>>32863227If we seal the Hungerer who will the goblins pray to?Hungerer-orb?
>>32863357They pray to Shax.If they try hard enough, they can be strong and useful!
Yea we probably don't need to worry about hungerer anymore.Well, we don't if we can get away from the 'him getting our soul when we die' thing
>>32863342If we want to be the best chieftainess ever we have to save our people's immortal souls okay. This isn't rocket science.
>>32863357Goddess-Shax, of course.Hence why we need a second orb as our ascension vessel.
>>32863342bitchnigger shouldn't go around devouring peoples souls. It ain't right!
>>32863342>Why hate hungerer so much?Because he's a big old meanie.Being a god and spending an eternity making funny faces at the Hungerer is nice and all, but it's even nicer if we can also stop him from being mean to all the non-god goblins.
>>32863342Because he's the a priori goblin population control mechanism. No Hungerer, triple the goblin birthrate, increase the size of our army by probably an order of magnitude in a few months.
>>32863546how fast does goblin mature, I don't want to wreck the goblin economy
>>32863546What? He eats goblins souls after they die, how does that control the birthrate?
"Hey, Elf!" You lean back and decide you might as well ask him what the hold up is."Yeah? What is it?" He responds fairly quickly."Two dwarves and a fish man-""Heard it. The punchline is 'mother of pearl'." Wow, rude."No. They're my friends."After a few moments, the elf responds. "I don't get it.""Have you seen them!?""What? No, I haven't seen a dwarf in years." You glance at Brokagh. He shrugs, and then looks out around the corner. Four arrows rip through the air and embed themselves in areas where the orc's head just was."They still got this place on lockdown, Shax." He picks his teeth. "And I'm starting to get hungry. Let's just bust outta this joint."You sigh, and pick your sword up. Playtime is over, you guess. With a charge you smash through the back wall of the temple. Brokagh quickly darts out, taking out a few elves as you and the orc head as fast as possible to the edge of the temple. After a mad dash through the forest, Brokagh looks back. "Looks like we lost most of 'em." You'll take his word for it.You double back to the camp where Mani, Dorle, and Whoop should have been at. There is no sign of them, though blast marks scorching the area show the sign of explosions going having gone off. According to Brokagh, there are three sets of tracks out here.>Follow the slithering one.>Follow the one that looks like giant chicken feet.>Follow the one that looks like paw prints.
>>32863800>>Follow the one that looks like giant chicken feet.Why didn't we bring Fetidclaw? This is his shit!
>>32863800>Follow the slithering one.
>>32863800>>Follow the one that looks like giant chicken feet.At least we can catch some tasty dinner if we can't find the dwarves.
>>32863800>Follow the Big Chicken Feet.Think that's Whoop. Hope fish dude's ok...
>>32863546Nobody wants three times more goblins. Not even the goblins would want that.Besides, if their numbers tripled, some of them would die of starvation. And half of the rest would die because other goblins killed them for food.
>>32863800>>Follow the slithering one.When in doubt, seek reptile.
>>32863800>>Follow the one that looks like paw prints.Let's go meet Dog
>>32863853So you're saying that the surviving goblins would be on average more elite than the current crop?
>>32863800>>Follow the one that looks like giant chicken feet.Chickens are tasty, and Brokagh said he was hungry. And if that chicken has hurt our [s]precious frie-[/s] useful minions, we're going to eat it slowly. With mint sauce!
>>32863867No, what I am saying is they would be more brutal and dumber.
>>32863800Why the hell are there so many different tracks?>Follow the one that looks like paw prints.Here is hoping we get a pussy cat pet.
>>32863908The forest is a busy place!Anyway. Writing.
You're pretty hungry so you suggest to Brokagh that you follow the chicken prints. "I don't know if those are chickens, Shax." You insist that they are, and you start following them. The trail winds around the forest for quite some time, and you see more blast marks, giving a pretty good confirmation that Dorle and Mani were on this track. Before too long, you see signs of a camp."Kenku," Brokagh growls. Some feathered guys are all hanging out at a tent, squawking at each other. "Looks like they've taken the dwarf twins captive. Seem to be six of them. Wonder what Kenku are doing in Valenwood?""Oh, they've shown up since you guys invaded us. Been scavenging and kidnapping for a while now. They seem to have some sorta trade system set up amongst themselves." The elf helpfully answers the question."Yeah, but how did they capture Dorle and Mani? I get that they were outnumbered, but the birdboys look like they didn't take any losses. I think the dwarves could handle themselves better than that."You lift a finger, "They wouldn't waste explosives like that, either. And from the sound and look of things, there was definitely a fight."The elf shakes his head, "No, the Kenku probably poisoned them. That's typically how they kidnap people, you know. Sneaking powder into your food or drinks. The explosions were most likely the result of the birdmen toying around with those things."You bite a thumb, "I wonder if they've all been used up. Mani will get so mad if they used all his grenades! I. Wait. What?!" You level your sword at the new guest you find yourself with. It's one of them long elves! She's got red hair and a big spear. In her other hand is a sword.>There are two stars of calamity! When oversized weapon users meet, these stars glimmer with a passionate light!"Oh, hi. I've been tracking these Kenku down. Got a bounty on their head.">Take her out while her guard is down!>Team up with her to rescue Mani and Dorle!>Let Brokagh hit on her.
>>32864561>Let Brokagh hit on her.Why are there even other options.
>>32864561>Team up with her to rescue Mani and Dorle!>Let Brokagh hit on her.Why not both?
>>32864561>Let Brokagh hit on her.We need to kill the Kenku before we duel her. All of your guise are based on pictures you found on the internet, aren't they?
>>32864561>Team up with her to rescue Mani and Dorle!>Let Brokagh hit on her.Why not? I'm willing to bet she was the peanut gallery elf too.
>>32864561>Team up with her to rescue Mani and Dorle!>Let Brokagh hit on her.Time for friendship!
>>32864561>Team up with her to rescue Mani and Dorle!>Let Brokagh hit on her.
>>32864561>>Team up with her to rescue Mani and Dorle!>Definitely do not let Brokaghhit on her.
>>32864664if all my characters were based on pictures I found on the internet, there would be an approximately 3000% increase in lewd women
>>32864561>Team up with her to rescue Mani and Dorle!>Let Brokagh hit on herNo reason to kill her just yet.
>>32864561>Team up with her to rescue Mani and Dorle!No hitting on anyone right now. If he fails this goes to shit, if he succeeds they're both distracted.
>>32864712I don't see what the problem with that is.
>>32864670If she is we totally need to recruit her.
>>32864762Yeah look at that slut, showing off her wrists like that. But on some cloths you harlot!Also red haired elves are fun.
>>32864762He never said there was any problem with it.
Oh right!I should say writing. Cause I am.This girl will never be in this quest despite being a mega cutie.
So why didn't we just open up a portal then close it behind us?
>>32864878When is Axe Girl gonna show up again? Chief please.
>>32864858I suppose you're right.>>32864878Carry on, though I demand more lewd woman who will never confess their love and nothing dirty will ever happen between them and the protagonists.
>>32864907Probably if and when we ever fucking decide to go back to the plains instead of dicking about in a forest?
>>32864907in twenty threadsduring the epilogueshe died alonethis post is not canonhere is another girl who isn't in this quest
>>32864878>This girl will never be in this quest despite being a mega cutie.>>32864936>here is another girl who isn't in this questStop that!!!
>>32864936>PantiesToo lewd for this quest.Especially since they'd probably drop when she met Sitri/Brokagh anyway.
>>32864936Dude, look how HUGE that dinky little dagger is! She gotta be in this quest!
>>32865043It's clearly an oversized toothpick, the most fearsome of the oversized weapons
>>32864878>This girl will never be in this questdropped
>>32865067Go for the eyes, random ninja anime girl! Go for the eyes!
>>32864561>>>Team up with her to rescue Mani and Dorle!>>Let Brokagh hit on her.These two seem compatible enough.
>>32865131She's Allonces in 50 years after an ear-rounding surgery and taking up the path of the swordie.
If this girl is a bounty hunter, isn't there a much, much bigger bounty on Shax's head?
>>32865207don't tell her that. nope, don't ask her how much of a bounty the birdmen have and loudly campare it to ours.
>>32865181Allonces in 50 years is actually a Drow Broodmother.
You see Brokagh eying her, and you know what is coming next. You just sorta sigh and put your face in your hands."Hey, nice digs, cute stuff. Like your lance. Name's Brokagh, by the way. Yeah, I've punched some bounties in my time." He puts a hand on his pants. Please don't say something about your 'lance', Brokagh. Please! "Wanna see-""Shhh! They're sniffing around. I wonder if they've heard us." The red haired elf wrinkles her nose and shoots Brokagh a glance. "Or smelled us."He cocks an eyebrow and leans over, "I've been told it is a manly scent.""It's something, alright." The elf nudges you with the pommel of her sword and nods towards a few trees. Looks like a Kenku is stalking around over there. She runs a thumb across her through and jerks her head at Brokagh."Hey, Brokagh. Go take out that Kenku over there. Show off your manly punches!" His chest swells and he dashes off to the Kenku sentry/scout.The elf's glance slides over to you, "He always like that?""Not around me for some reason." The only thing in common with his behavior is when he is around girls. But not all of them."I see. Well, you've got a large sword there. Wanna help me collect a bounty?" You shrug, and the elf nods, "Alright. The one with an eyepatch is the guy I'm after. Don't kill him if you can help it." The bounty hunter hefts her lance and lets her sword fall out of its sheath. Turning over her shoulder, she says "Follow my lead," before dashing at them.>Charge them, too! Get a nice spin dash going.>Nah you'll just throw a spear into the camp and clean up the mess.>Go help Brokagh and then the spear lady.
>>32865450>Charge them, too! Get a nice spin dash going.
>>32865450>>Charge them, too! Get a nice spin dash going.
>>32865450>>Nah you'll just throw a spear into the camp and clean up the mess.I want to see the look on her face. We have a spear too!
>>32865450>Charge them, too! Get a nice spin dash going.>Also, brag that you probably have a bigger bounty than he does!
>>32865450>Charge them, too! Get a nice spin dash going.WEEEEE
Our first time spinning since gaining Enchantment.We will be as gods.
>>32865450Hey hey hey lady, Shax is the boss hereYou follow HER leadShax, go shax it up>Charge them, too! Get a nice spin dash going.
Alright! Your spin is unstoppable.Roll d20 for how MAJESTIC it is.This is important!
Rolled 10>>32865675Panic intensifies
>>32865681Well shit. My second one in this quest huh...and I don't usually roll either. Maybe I should just stop entirely.
Rolled 13>>32865681i giggled
>>32865681You son of a bitch.
Rolled 2>>32865675spin harder shax
>>32865681This girl will now never be in the quest. Because of you.Anyway! Writing.
>>32865739Awww man. W-would she have been an LI for one of our party-members? Will Bearbreath never find true love now? Sitri never find common attraction?
>>32865739Chief, stop it. Please.
>>32865739And nothing of value was lost.
>>32865767It looks like a diamond-studded belt. That's pretty valuable.
>>32865681So..... we just killed Ms. Redhead Elf anyway.
>>32865788Shit man you never had one of those in middle school? Those are metal studs.
>>32865739c-cant we use a boss point?
>>32865859Platinum studs! Also valuable.
>>32865853Don't be silly anon, w-we wouldn't kill the nice lady!
>>32865885>>I'm the boss! Points: 0No?Got plenty of Tidal Points that I'm pretty sure nobody bothers to keep track of.
>>32865987>Got Plenty of Tidal PointsOkay fuck it. USE ALL OF THEM!
>>32866027Yeah, if we're going to cut something in half, let's do it right.More seriously, defensive maneuver with the tidal points would be great if we get hit.
>>32865853Maybe we just knocked her out? And one shotted the rest of the kenku? Like we were so incompetent it came full circle back to a success?
>>32866053Fuck defense. Rev up Cutter and slash the FUCK out of the ground when we trip.
You're super confident in your moves. Lately your sense of balance has greatly improved. You dunno if it is because of your newfound semi-divinity or not. But you're super confident in your grace and beauty when it comes to spinning! You start moving towards the kenku camp in a powerful spin, stepping lightly as you move towards the bird men.You must look magnificently graceful!Trees go flying as you blaze through them and you careen into the tent you were aiming at, launching the hide into the air in a flurry of feathers and squawking. You're not sure how many of them you've taken out at this point. When your sword catches in the ground you look over at the elf. Two kenku dangle from her spear, and she hacks the arm off a third. "Gotcha," She says, with a fierce grin on her face. She then slaps the bird man with the handle of her oversized piercing weapon. Quickly, she kneels down and hogties the bird man.Brokagh shows up, "Did you check out my moves? I totally wrecked that guy and he didn't even know wha- oh you guys have already taken out the camp."Mani and Dorle are blindfolded and tied together, back to back. You quickly free them. "Hey, boss. Fancy meeting you here." "Was pretty sure we were done for." "Definitely in a tight spot." "Woke up blind and paralyzed, we did." "Turns out it was just a blindfold and bindings, haha!" "Wouldn't be the first time, eh, Mani?" "Aw hell, don't go sayin' that kinda stuff 'round Shax." "Oh, right. Sorry, boss!"Yeah, they're fine. "They used all your bombs.""Let me murder the sunnovabitch!""Shax? Boss? Oh, you're that goblin chieftess. Your had a pretty big bounty on your head for a while there." The elf is leaning on her lance and taking a sip of water from a jug while looking at you. "Got dropped for some reason. No idea why.">Ask her where she's heading to next.>Say you really oughta get going.>Invite her to join you! (You'll have to tell her you're heading to the Plains of Manderlay)
>>32866188>Invite her to join you! (You'll have to tell her you're heading to the Plains of Manderlay)>Ask if she knows why, or at least when, we got dropped.
>>32866188>Invite her to join you! (You'll have to tell her you're heading to the Plains of Manderlay)As one of the three powers of the alliance of evil races we can probably set bounties on things.
>>32866188>>Invite her to join you! (You'll have to tell her you're heading to the Plains of Manderlay)New friends!
Did Axe Girl proclaim her love for Shax by using her influence to get her bounty removed?
>>32866188>Invite her to join you! (You'll have to tell her you're heading to the Plains of Manderlay)
>>32866188"Oh, they probably didn't have enough money to convince people to fight a god for a bounty">Invite her to join you! (You'll have to tell her you're heading to the Plains of Manderlay).
>>32866188>Invite her to join you! (You'll have to tell her you're heading to the Plains of Manderlay)It's time we got a replacement spear-wielding elf anyway.
>>32866188>Thank her for her help and tell her you'll see her around.Time to find Whoop!
>>32866188>Invite her to join you! (You'll have to tell her you're heading to the Plains of Manderlay)Mention that raiding makes good money, and all the loot you can carry.
Rolled 8>>32866188She's some super bounty hunter, right?ask her for help tracking whoop
>>32866239Yeah lets say this! It might help to convince her to join up. And if not, just tell her we can pay her significantly more than she is making collecting bounties.
>>32866250>It's time we got a replacement spear-wielding elf anyway.Allonces has really gotten competent, would you stop with the cracks against her?
Demigod, people. We aren't a god yet! Shax is a stickler for these technicalities.
>>32866224I like your way of thinking.>Invite her to join you! (You'll have to tell her you're heading to the Plains of Manderlay)
I wonder what Squidface will say when he comes back and find us a god
>>32866188Oh I get it. We murdered a potentially useful hostage (>>32865739). Got it.
>>32866356he's never coming back because that anon rolled a 1this post is not canonWriting!
>>32866356Isn't he becoming an archlich or something? That subplot was a long time ago.
>>32866400Yeah an alhoon. Wonder how that is going?
>>32866400When a Mindflayer becomes a lich, the term is Alhoon.
>>32866372God dammit master chef, pls stop. You're hurting my feelings.
>>32866372>we will never see squidface again>we will never know Shax's backstory
>>32866463I'll reveal everything if you beat the secret level at the end of thread 60, the last thread of the entire quest ever forever.This post is canon.
>>32866463We do know her backstory. She is a young goblin girl who grew up in that place with that matron goblin and then she got a mindflayer friend and a big sword during the war prep.
>>32866480>the last thread of the entire quest ever forever.Say it ain't so Chief.
>>32866480We'll play your game and beat it too
>>32866480The secret level is:WHAT IS THE TRUE SOURCE OF SHAX'S POWER???>goblinness>bracelet>Big Sword>Friendliness>charisma
>>32866514We'll still have the anonkun quest! Whatever it is.
>>32866532>ALL OF THE ABOVEclearly.
>>32866574It's a smut quest.This is not even a joke.
>>32866600What kinda smut quest?Hopefully it's not 'you're everyman mcawesome and you're here to fuck all the bitches'.
>>32866574What IS this anonkun I keep hearing about?
>>32866600>It's a smut quest.Picked up!
Rolled 93>>32866622>'you're everyman mcawesome and you're here to fuck all the bitches'.some of the better ones give actual reasons why you are able to fuck the bitches that make some kind of sense.
>>32866600I too would like to know what kind of mcawesome it is
>>32866671But most of those are 'there is a magical/psionical/biological imperative for chicks to fuck you' which isn't any better.Besides I prefer my smutquests to have a small number of fuckable characters.
>>32866600I genuinely hope this is actually true.
>>32866532None of those options are cuteness.
>>32866600Hooray! All the cute girls that won't be in this quest can be in that one!
>>32866711What about Aspiring Emperor Quest?
>>32866600Chief doing smut? I don't know how I should feel about this, but consider me morbidly curious enough to check it out.
>>32866600I don't know how to feel about that. But I will check it out, just to see how that goes.
>>32866711I prefer my smut quests to have a QM who knows when to stop writing smut and get on with telling an actual story.
>>32866741I've never read it since the concept doesn't appeal much. Does it have smut? It never really struck me as one to have it, but then again it never gets discussed in QTG or anywhere so...
>>32866742In all honesty I'd rather just write people having fun on adventures and never actually get around to people boning.I really ought to finish this update.I haven't had much sleep lately, sorry about the airheadedness.
>>32866798You fuck all the bitches and Aspie is pretty good about getting an interlewd detailing the action up reasonably quickly.
>>32866798Not that anon, but it has smut in separate pastebin, there's been like 3-4 lewd ftbs in 30+ long threads so far. It's not the focus of the story. It's mostly empire building, large scale battles, and dungeon diving.
>>32866827>>32866831Huh, well that's the proper way of doing smut in quests IMO (can well be even less frequent) unless its a short/one-shot smut-quest. Might check it out at some point.
>>32866831>It's not the focus of the story. It's mostly empire building, large scale battles, and dungeon diving.Though Talon's success with the ladies is a running joke.>“Where’d you get the watch?” Mal asks absent-mindedly. “You usually have a good sense of time or just ask me to tell you.”>“It was a gift from Grandmaster Toren’s daughter,” you say, smiling slightly. “For keeping her father from getting himself killed by fighting me.”>Vad snorts. “When you get back to Vitria, you’ll pay her a personal visit to thank her for the gift and add another notch to your bedposts, right?”>As the others put on looks, ranging from amusement to annoyance, Lynn gives you an odd look.>She says, “Is it really that bad?”>“No,” you say.>“Yes,” says everyone else.Just one incident
>>32866894Ugh, for once I'd like a quest with smut where the MC (or FeMC) isn't a babe-magnet that has to fight off people with one hand.
>>32866807>In all honesty I'd rather just write people having fun on adventures and never actually get around to people boning.That's what I like to read! Looking forward to whatever you dish out.
>>32866922To be fair, the guy is a world famous mercenary general, conqueror, and has unauthorized bodice rippers written about him (with apparently poor understanding of male anatomy), so half the women after him are basically the same sort that hang around celebrities. Also, the setting is high powered enough that seducing a normal human is trivial.
>>32867004Well sure, there are plenty of good reasons you can make for people to be into the MC (and I'm not saying it's some objectively shit way of doing things), but it doesn't change the fact that I'd like to read a smut quest where it DOESN'T happen.
>>32866807I reckon you could do nice, cute, quality boning and I'd really like to see you try, but adventure is also good.
>>32866807>...need sleep...sorry, air headed...It's ok Chief, just remember that in a pinch you can sub-number threads if you need to stretch them over non-continuous sessions.
"Oh! You're leaving? Want to help me find my fish-man friend? He wasn't around here. I dunno what happened to him, to be honest."Dorle looks at his brother, "she called whoop friend" "does that mean we aren't her friends?" Brokagh leans over between the two brothers, "I don't think she knows the difference between subordinate and friend, you guys." Of course you do! You're not as dumb as people think you are maybe.The elf lady takes another swig of water from her jug, and wipes her mouth with a sleeve. "Sure I guess. You're not bad in a fight. Just keep those duergar away from my crowkid." she slings the kenku over her shoulder, "What's this fish guy look like?" You give a short description of Whoop and the elf nods, asking some more detailed questions about his appearance and stature. The boys chime in every now and then. Before too long, she and Brokagh start tracking the aquatic cleric.==============================================================================Thanks for playing! Sorry about sorta petering out in that last hour. My new work schedule has wiped me out. You guys are great for putting up with me, though! Thanks so much! Also thanks lurkers for reading, and archive readers for browsing through this thread. You keep me going!You get:>10/56 BtB exp>12/56 MSiF exp>49/48 CyRCTHaM exp>31/32 FMMM exp, 3/3 Tidal Points>You're close! Just gotta unlock one more thing...WHAT GOBLIN SKILL DO YOU WANT???>poison>backstab>veteran>courageGo on, let me know!
>>32867104totally not an attempt to delay the inevitable thread 60
>>32867126Thanks for running.>poison
>>32867059Thing is, smut quests kind of have to pander to the lowest common denominator. Which meanly horny foreveralones who want to fantasize about being Studly McPussymagnet, the guy who can and does have every single woman he wants (and even a fair chunk he doesn't particularly want, but is just going along with it for kicks).Smut about loving, committed relationships as opposed to ever-broadening harems doesn't draw a very wide audience.
>>32867126>WHAT GOBLIN SKILL DO YOU WANT???>>poison>>backstab>>veteran>>courage>Go on, let me know!Can we get descriptions of them before we choose?
>>32867126Thanks for running Chief!>Grim Dark Veteran
>>32867126>PoisonI want "My Little Assassin Can't Be This Cute?!"
>>32867126Courage of the Non-Goblinpretty sure that led to a sick tree and will saves are always useful
>>32867154>Thing is, smut quests kind of have to pander to the lowest common denominator.Not really, here on /tg/ they tend to due to the nature of questing and the prevalence of shitposting, I think if it's running on akun it could well be fine.
>>32867126>>back"stab"Because seriously, sneak attacking with a hugeass sword is fucking awesome.Also, isn't it one of the prereqs for My Little Assassin Can't Be This Cute?
>>32867154>kind of have toWhy? Nobody's getting paid per reader.
>>32867170You don't have all of them memorized?! Just kidding. I keep forgetting that someone could just be dropping into the quest instead of a long time reader.>Why Fight When You Can Poison? - Well, you can sneak. That means you can probably sneak poison in on a tough opponent. You've got a big sword, but that doesn't mean there are guys you can always beat with it. It's best to leave your options open! You become passingly familiar with poisons and can start implementing them in your tactics effectively. >Back"stab" - With stealth you can wield your sword in critical sneak attacks! They'll never see you coming! You cause a ridiculous amount of damage if you catch an opponent off guard. >Grim Dark Veteran - When times get tough, you get tougher. You've survived, seen, eaten, and done things most people have never had to consider! Which is your regularly every day life for a goblin like you. Your ability to survive alone in the wilds is vastly increased! >Courage of the Non-Goblin - This ability allows you to pass any sort of fear check you might face. Including supernatural or spell based fear attacks! You also can agree to more bold plans than you would normally agree to.
>>32867126>poisonNew skill tree, guys!
>>32867126>>poisonthis unlocks assassinWe will be the passing breeze, the cartwheeling terror of stealth!
Has Shax ever failed a fear check? I don't remember it ever happening.
>>32867126Courage of the Non-Goblin
>>3286724890% of skills are never usedthis is because they were all made as jokes
>>32867209nobut "Why Fight When You Can Poison?" is a pre-reqfor the cute assassin thingy. so I'l going with that.
>>32867221Grim Dark Veteran
>>32867221Oh, whoops, if Back"stab" isn't a prereq for MLACBTC, then I change my vote (>>32867209) to Poison.
>>32867221COURAGE obviouslyWe're going full on Link Mode now
>>32867235> 20 more threads> he thinks he can fill more trees
>>32867221>Grim Dark Veteran - When times get tough, you get tougher. You've survived, seen, eaten, and done things most people have never had to consider! Which is your regularly every day life for a goblin like you. Your ability to survive alone in the wilds is vastly increased!We'll probably never need it, but I want to at least see the description for the goblin devil one.
>>32861619>>32867295>Officially Two Thirds of the Way There Edition>20 more threadsStop reminding me, please.
>>32867199>>32867221Actually, switching over to Grim Dark Veteran now.I kinda wanna see descriptions for Goblin Devil and Like a Rogue
>>32867295It's cool, we'll probably get a dump of all the jokes we never got to see when it ends. You can't waste good jokes.
>>32867295>>32867329At this rate we won't even get to the new skill tree unlock in the BtB tree. We'll probably also never fight another sword saint.
>>32867358I hope we can get moonlight slash in time for thread 60Totally the next sword is fight upgrade.
>32867295Looks like poison won! You can now take My Little Assassin Can't Be This Cute?! Which focuses on Shax being sneaky and granting bonuses for solo operations.And also probably light novel jokes.>>32867358There are a bunch in Manderlay! Honest.Anyways! Good night. I gotta get outta this thread before I jabber my whole life away.
>>32867126>Poison (as sung by Alice Cooper)Data one boss!
what happened to advanced lootology?
>>32867402Aw man, if we had the bodyguard character we could have cute arguments every time we wanted to solo play.
>>32867402Nice pic. I read that one.
>>32867476>readYeeaaap. That's what I did with that douhin alright.
>>32867476>>32867580May I get a name or something, for... reading.
>>32867640 Jinx Come On! Shoot Faster