Rolled 64You are Neckbeard. During the time you were on another file, you collected an accumulated amount of souls.All while having some kid trapped in your second mouth. He stopped kicked a while ago.You are currently at Catgirl Minion's place of work. Surely you can put on the right moves to recruit her?
Woops, forgot to mention, even number suggesting PAUSE, FILE SELECT will bring us to the file select.http://suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/archive.html?tags=Neckbeard%20QuestPrevious threads.
>>32678176Fluff your beard suggestively.
>>32678176Go in and look at what's for sell. Then go up to her and ask what's new.
>>32678176Swagger in with an illustrious bow, and flick your beard like a true dandy.
Maybe we can give one arm a cthulhu arm
>>32678176Find a circular opening and roar at her like thishttps://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OVCxJ1aT24A
>>32678515man i miss that opening
>>32678176Enter the store nonchalantly, release aphrodisiac phermomones and woo her with some terrible pickup line such as "I see that the juiciest bun in this whole store is not on display but behind the counter. Say what, how about you closed earlier today and let me have a taste?"
Rub your face all over the window and bare your shiny teeth and mouth child
>>32678176Take a moment to revel in our rightful restoration as main character.
>>32678176Buy bread to serve delicious soul sandwiches to our glorious demon lord so that we can get more power.
Glorious neckbeard seduction of our catgirl waifu. Give her Charm Dealers kiseru as a gift.
>>32678936This. Share some dope Opium with her; catgirls love that shit.
You enter the bakery. Your sharp clawed fingers caressed through your fluffy bear, your pheromones fill the shop. Preparing a pickup line so divine, you-
She's not at the counter.
>>32679013Is there a bell we can ring?
>>32679013Look around for freshly baked cupcakes and shove them into our mouth(s) without any thought of checking the ingredients.
>>32679013Dive through the back door. No time for caution here.
>>32679013If there is a tiny bell we can ring, ring itif there isnt gesture ringing a bell while making ting sounds
>>32679013Man the counter. Patiently wait for her return. Meanwhile fetch a cake, consume cake, enjoy it, don't gulp it down whole.
>>32679013Rub neckbeard on the counter, marking it with our scent. Drum out a lively Caribbean beat on carapace. Await catgirl.
>>32679013Kick pheromones into overdrive. Make this room foggy with pheromones so she'll be amiable when she gets in here.
Rolled 54>>32679071It's our shop now.
>>32679040You wouldn't do that to dear baker minion, wouldn't you?>>32679086>>32679096You drag your luxurious neckbeard on the counter, leaving a lovely pheromone scent behind. This shop is now your property now.And before you start drumming a lively Caribbean beat on your armor, the kitchen door opens."Hey, it's you again!"
>>32679500"Gimme some sugar, baby."
>>32679500Lean against counter, fluffing neckbeard casually. "Got anything there for me?"
>>32679500Haldo, what have you been up to?also FEED ME please
>>32679500Be as flamboyant as demonically possible.
Don't forget to lick her hello.
>>32680893>her hellofirst time I've seen it called that
>>32679596>>32679602>Gimme some sugar, baby."Help yourself~"
>>32680944Well, you know, 'Hello Kitty'
>>32681142Help ourselves to her woman parts. That's what she meant, right?
>>32681299Nah, she's too cute/useful/obedient to eat. Just molest her sexually.
>>32681142Fuck the cake
>>32681178You gave Baker catgirl a lick on the cheek. She's purring.
"You still forgot your receipt. "
>>32681569Now lick her belly. And throw in some compliments.
>>32681569"Want some more?" Lick slowly downwards, neck, collar bones, etc.
>>32681592"Then that gives me another reason to come back here. As if you weren't enough of one."
>>32681592"Got enough to settle it right here in my pants. Or I'm just THAT happy to see you."Now lick her armpits.
>>32681592Aww.Scratch behind her ears. "Hold onto it for me."
>>32681592Pet the catgirl.
>>32681853Trying for evens!
>>32681853One last try.>>32681630Is pretty similar anyways, I've just realized.
>>32681652>Got enough to settle it right here in my pants.>Or I'm just THAT happy to see youThen you lick her armpits.
>>32682624Scratch behind her ears.
>>32682624Pet the catgirl.
>>32682624I feel indebted to her now. Buy all the cookies.
>>32682624Oh no, the cupcakes. Eat them before they fall.
She looks dead inside.
>>32682851You would too If a fluffy abomination licked your armpit.
>>32682624GOD FUCKING DAMN IT WE WORKED SO HARD ON THOSE CUPCAKES
>>32682985QUICK, SWITCH CHARACTERS AND WE MIGHT BE ABLE TO SAVE THEM
>>32682795Seconded, snatch them up with your magical tongue before they touch the ground.
>>32682624Save the cupcakes.
>>32682624>>32683040PAUSE, FILE SELECT
>>32682624Run away. We can't let her give us that receipt.
>>32683208Agreed. That lack of closure is what keeps her interested in us.
>>32682624God this quest is fuckedIt's glorious
>>32682891Now I want to see ending up with Neckbeard tied up, right next to One-Arm.
>>32684703>see this ending upHad to correct myself.
Am I the only one who thinks of this as a different timeline? Our kitty cupcakes in the other save should be fine I hope
>>32682708Aw, she likes that!
>>32682780"Oh! My cupcakes!"
>>32686575Quick, save cupcakes! Five second rule!
"I worked hard on those..""Well, I have another batch in the kitchen, so it's not a total loss."
>>32686608Consume the cupcakes. Then when we finish say "What cupcakes."
>>32686633Buy some of her delicious confectionaries to cheer her up after the tragic loss of the cupcakes.
>>32686633Lick the floor clean.
>>32686633Buy the floorcakes. Then eat them.
>>32686633Eat cupcakes off floor. Then eat her out.
>>32686633Stroke the tail.
So uhWe're gonna eat her aren't we
>>32693141Hell no. Eat her out, was not selected as an option.
>>32693303All I'm saying is that every time a girl liked us it hasn't exactly gone well for either party.Besides look at how cute he's making her there's no way she's going to last through the thread
>>32693426Maybe we'll get lucky?
>>32694692SHE TRIED TO EAT YOUR DICK
>>32694801Then we ate her.
>>32694801Or give him head. He's not very bright.
>>32694821At some point we really ought to find other solutions to our problems.
>>32695554If it ain't broke...
>>32694821>>32695554To be fair, beardstrosity only ate her on accident, and it was after she had already been decapitated.
>>32686633Should be about time for Teli to sign back on.>>32686684>>32687799If I'm not mistaken, these are the winning posts, but how can Beardy into money?
>>32697627It's not as if he's broke now.
>>32697627If he doesn't have money, the kid in his stomach probably does.
Teli come back.
>>32686684>>32689872You decide to eat the cupcakes. They were rummy and delicious.
>How much were they?"On the house."
>>32699886Pay our waifu for her delicious baked goods.Order more for our minions. Of which she is now one. No choices or explanations.
PAUSE, FILE SELECT
>>32699920"Abouts times I'm gettings some mores damneds times in this stories."
>>32699951u wotGarush is a playable character in this file, m8.
>>32699976>TFW you remember naming most of the early charactersI fucking missed this quest.
>>32699904Lick dirty, dirty pussy clean
>>32699914You start licking on her feet.
>>32700128Work your way up.
>>32700128Inquire about what the fuck is going on outside
>>32700128Now work your way upwards... licking only, no biting!
>>32700128>Can't tell if into it, or paralyzed by fear.
>>32700153Oops, forgot to update soul count
>>32700153>Resume Neckbeard file. Perspective switch to Yorick/Garush.
Rolled 47>>32699886>>32699904What happened to the guy in the back ground?"Cool, Is there more?"
>>32700156Well, there's another minion go- >>32700194wat67 minions?
>>32700194Wait we have 67 minions? Beardy is way better at this than all evidence suggests.
>>32700255Fear, gentlemen, can move mountains.
>>32700255>>32700242Something tells me one of our minions rests in literal pieces.
>>32700242fuck shit sorry>>32700222You are now Yorick. Time to wake up you awful freaking idiot.
>>32700222You are still Yorick. Jesus dick it's cold outside.
>>32700293Don't you talk shit about my waifu.
>>32700335Yell until someone picks you up.
>>32700335Jesus fuck, how would you know? You're just a rotting head you dumb cunt.
>>32700335Observe aloud internal monologue re: Jesus dick.
>>32700350Like a baby.
>>32700335Check stats.We never did get to see Yorick's stats.
Rolled 6>>32700350>IT'S FUCKING COLD HERE>ONE OF YOU COCKSUCKERS BETTER PICK ME THE FUCK UP NOW>RIGHT>NOOOOOOOOOOW"Somebody go take care of her so I don't have to listen to her."Let's see who'll come to your aide.1. Garush2. Charlotte3. Anry4. Mako5. Anon6. /k/ay7. Mimic8. Some other student of your choice
>>32700570"Fine, I'LL go take care of her myself..!""WHAT."
>>32700660"You got a gun? Can I see it? Where does the clip go?"
>>32700674"I asked you first.">>32700688"Is that what you were yelling for? To know what I'm carrying?"
>>32700846Take me to Abs mcgee. I need to be over there for reasons.
>>32700846Is that a FAMAS?
>>32700862Yes... we need to keep an eye on him... to make sure he doesn't do... something...
>>32700862>Take me to Abs mcgee. I need to be over there for reasons.>>32700918>We need to keep an eye on him, of course..!>To make he doesn't do.. Something...
>>32700846fuck make me a body alreadybeing a head is annoyingplus overdonewe already have torpedo asshole
>>32701032We do? Last I recall, his body broke down our door and took back his head.
>>32701057His body broke down the door and confronted us for his headbut then beardy showed up and threw torpedo's body fucking far awayI think
>>32701086That is how it went.
>>32701032"I'll help you get a body.""But you have to agree to stop calling my boyfriend a slut."
>>32701209So you want me to lie? I can do that.
>>32701228She's talking about anon you moron not garush.
>>32701209Woah woah woah...You like fags?
>>32701245Nah. Call her a slut instead.
>>32701266o riteshe's female
>>32701209I can promise to stop calling him a slut specifically.
>>32701209I need to call someone a slut. Are you prepared to bear his burden?
>>32701258Well, no shit?
>WOAH WOAH WOAH>You like fags, slut?"Do you want the body or not?">Oh, I do. And I can stop calling him a slut specifically.>But I need to call someone a slut.>Are you prepared to bear his burden?"That's almost as endearing as fag. Whatever. Do you want to go now?"
>>32701444It's 300 hundred miles to Chicago we got a full tank of gas, half a pack of cigarettes, it's dark out and we're wearing sunglasses.Hit it.
>>32701444You gon' get neckhole-raped with a Mauser.
>>32701444"On a scale of yes to no. Yes!"
>>32701444Sure, let's go on a rollicking fucking adventure. You and me, best fucking friends, two ladies on a mission. I'm not being sarcastic, it can be hard to tell.
>>32701444Sure. You gonna tell your whore boyfriend where we're going? Alsoweshouldtakeabsorc. For muscle.
>>32701444Yeah, let's go slut.
Rolled 1>>32701475>>32701507>>32701525>>32701569>>32701603Christ no evens. Rolling to support one of these.
>>32701476She wouldn't dare, you'll rip her tits off.>>32701692>>32701475>It's 300 hundred miles to Chicago we got a full tank of gas, half a pack of cigarettes, it's dark out and we're wearing sunglasses.>Hit it.
>>32701692>Implying Yorick would watch things like Blues BrothersBitch be a Twifag.
>>32702102>Implying everyone doesn't love the mother fucking Blues Brothers
You may control both Kay and Yorick.It is currently 35F, there will be a chance of snow. It is now 10:12 AM.https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ieapBou_3cs
>>32702142>Head to graveyard.She didn't say it had to be fresh.
>>32702142Go to the nearest bodyshop to buy a body
>>32702142Go to /g/ for a robutt body.
>>32702142can we really defy these quads?>>32702222
>>32701209Who did anon just punch?
>>32702249Even quads are right.>>32702222You decide on your journey to a bodyshop in /g/. It's pretty far out there, so prepare to transit hop. The only trains station in this part of /tg/ is Cat Park station.Here is your position on the map.
>>32702390That cyclops, whose name escapes me at the moment.
>>32702469Mako.>>32702420Carjack somebody. We're motherfucking /K/ay. We don't do public transit.
>>32702505This.We burned down an entire thread because we didn't like our job.
>>32702420Get to walking.
>>32702420Try and make small talk as you go. Ask Yorick if she has any hobbies. Try to angle towards getting her to ask about yours.
>>32702420Head to the station. Why not be efficient about things?
>>32702962>So, got any hobbies"Yeah I do."Okay Yorick, what do you tell the nice lady about what you do?>>32702880>>32703816Surprisingly no trouble Today. You managed to get to Cat Park station without a scratch.Train doesn't arrive until 11:15 am, you have time to kill.
>>32705151"devour souls, scare old ladies, masturba...well, guess I can't do that one anymore."
>>32705151"I write a bit."
>>32705151Pet the cats
>>32705216Oh yeah! I totally forgot about her, ah, vivid imagination.
>>32705151I spend most of my time being INCREDIBLY FUCKING SEXUALLY FRUSTRATED because that ork won't put me between his legs.
>>32705151Hiss at cats as we go. Since we're a kind of banshee, cats are probably afraid of us.
>>32705355You'd think that.Cats: Mob-love on Yorrick.Yorrick: Hate it.
Wait, wait.It just dawned on me.Did we just solve "anon being captured by a gun-toting fem/k/ommando" without killing, maiming or decapitating someone?
>>32705492...yeah?Who do you think we are, Beardstrosity?
>>32705216"I write a bit.">I see.>>32705272"But I spend most of my time being INCREDIBLY FUCKING SEXUALLY FRUSTRATED because THAT ORC WON'T PUT ME BETWEEN HIS LEGS!!">Interesting."And you?"And what do you tell the nice banshee head, young lady?
>>32705619"Guns. Zombie plans."
>>32705712This, and launch into a lengthy, detailed description of exactly what you will do when the zombie apocalypse comes. Plans, backup plans, secret plans but ok I'll tell you because you're clearly DYING to know.
>>32705619Hanging out in the woods and talking about how shitty California is
>>32705712>Guns. Zombie Plans.>So, here's how I have planned for the zombie apocalypse. >First I blahblahblahblah..."What are you doing. Don't lower me down."
>>32706246UNLEASH THE PUSSY!
>Then I blahblahblahblahblahblah have boyfriend do blahblah..."HSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS"
>>32706246Oh god no no no noooooooo!IS THIS BECAUSE I CALLED ANON A SLUT
>>32706289>Ignore hissing, continue detailing plans
>>32706289Hissing is clearly a sign of approval. Extrapolate on scheme to use Anon's tears in underground hydroponics bunker.
>>32706289Cats: Drag Yorrick back to your favorite tree and teach your kittens how to hunt dem drills.
>>32706326>>32706346>And you see, I plan to use Anon's tearsin an underground hydroponics bunker, and blahblahblah"EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE"
>EEEEEEEEEEEeeeeeeee oh fuck it when is that train getting here
>>32707187Yorrick: Repress as your face swells due to allergies./K/ay: Mug passers by to pass time.
>>32707187Train: arrive. Happen to be transporting Cat Appreciation Club to their ongoing, cat-filled thread.
>>32707187Pet the kitties.
>>32707187The train arrives, but is arranged in rollercoaster fashion, including a height requirement to ride.
>>32707187Wait for the train while singing sea shanties.
>>32711961Some asshole misarchived this while copy/pasting, and that asshole is me.http://suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/archive.html?tags=eckbeard%20QuestIf ya want to vote it up.Still pulls all of them with "eckbeard quest" though...!I'm so sorry.
>>32714566Can't you fix it?
>>32714805You'd have to beg.
>>32714805Only the suptg admins can fix it
>>32714566Time to search by title rather than by tag.http://suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/archive.html?searchall=Neckbeard+Quest
>>32707187Dump as many cats as possible on Yorick
Un poquito bump.
>>32721734MIENTRAS TANTO, LOS MAGOS DEL BUMPO!
>>32723864Eat one of the cats in frustration.
>>32723864Cats love her, huh?
>>32723864Wiggle around and scream
>>32723864Assume control, cat body is go.
>>32723960Bastard ass cats10:56 am
>>32724666Satan wills it so!
>>32724863FINE I'LL STOP CALLING HIM A SLUT AUGH
>>32724666>>32724860Unfortunately cats began shredding at your face, unable to start a body of cats.You continue to scream.11:05 am
>>32724960/k/ay: Ready to stop making fun of my boyfriend? I think I found a place that will mount you with a little plaque for me.
>>32724960Shouldn't eat pussy. Let that be a lesson.
>>32724960Let out a supersonic wail above human hearing that will effect the cats and scare them off.
>>32724960"Done being a bitch yet?"
>>32724960Pick Yorrick back up.
>>32724960So... Will these scratches be able to heal at all? Just thinking about how she's a banshee possessing a dead girl's head.
>>32725175They should, I think the problem was that her soul was no longer attached to the body.
>>32725252Makes sense.I enjoy the torment which Yorick and Torpedo Asshole go though too much.
11:15 amYou have 5 minutes to board the train to the /tg/ main station.Then take the train to front page station and take the train to /g/.
>>32725491Yorrick: Try not to cry.
>>32725491Board the train
>>327259844 minutes until departure. Yorick is still shaking.
>>32726176Hug her and then whisper in her ear "Don't fuck with me."
>>32726176Talk to the dude next to you.
>>32726176Flash your boobs
>>32726620Leave Yorrick. Bang train stranger.
>>32726620Tease Yorick about not getting any.
>>32726620Aww shit it's a /fit/izen. Search his pockets for spaghetti.
>>32726620>discuss how to get /fit/
>>32726682>How rude, Yorick~!>You don't have any tits to greet this nice man with?"uuuuuuuuuuu""Ah.."
>>32726867Talk to him about building muscle mass. We need to get anon fit.
>>32726867>stroke yorick like a cat
>>32726960You place Yorick back into your lap and started to stoke her head like a cat. You can hear her whimper already.>So, tell me about muscle mass. I know someone who could use this information..
>>32726867"Oh? You're not interested then Yorick? I had no idea you were so modest! We'd better get you a nice and flat body so the boys don't notice you."
>>32727115Inquire about the finer details of sculpting and maintaining muscle with the /fit/izen, particularly on how to maintain excellent abs. Make sure to ask for examples of exercises and that Yorick is watching.
>>32727115Get Yorick a Realdoll body.
>>32727209I was going to protest that she wouldn't be able to move itThen I realized that was PERFECT
>treating best character like shit.nah son, nah.
This quest has the longest running continuous threads I swear
>>32727388This was my reaction as well, I like Yorick best, but it does seem in-character. /k/ay blew up her post because she didn't like her job and raped cryanon because she... was lonely? I interpret all of this as punishing Yorick for flaking on her "no more calling my boyfriend a slut" request.
>>32727361Yes, that is why I picked it. Perfect body for teasing and arousing Yorick
>>32727115Yorick: Attempt to lick abs.
We past bump limit? If not, bampu-san.
>>32729832Well, that, or a secret urge for sadism.
Train has departed. 30 minutes until we reach our destination.>>32727134>"Oh? You're not interested then Yorick?>I had no idea you were so modest!>We'd better get you a nice and flat body so the boys don't notice you.She's whining even louder.
>>32727192>Inquire me of your body maintenance. Maybe show me some examples of exercises to maintain excellent abs?"Of course."
>>32729832That was her trying to kill herself by self-immolation. Also, no suicide threats. Not doing it for attention.
The /fit/izen begins an explanation while he starts his exercise example.
>Now pay attention, Yorick!>You might want to try this with your own ~partner~"Uuu.."
And you made sure sweet little Yorick pay close attention to his every detail.
>>32733403Yorick: Break free, inhale abs
Yorick: Steal the sluts body.
>>32733403Ask the /fit/izen if he can demonstrate any exercises using a medicine ball. Using Yorick as the ball.
>>32733370The intersection of his pecks, the nipple, objects on the other side makes this man's muscular profile resemble a smug rooster. Lookit that gobbler.>>32733403Yorick: imagine how much manlier with a pompadour.
>>32733602This is a great idea.When>>32733580Doesn't work out, do this.
>>32733403Yorrick: Steal /fitizen/ body.
>>32733580"Ow, you cunt!"
>>32733602>Hey, can you show me any exercises with a medicine ball?>You can use my friend here!"No thanks, I don't think I want to risk getting my hands bit off."
We are reaching main station soon.>>32738184>Kyuhh..>>32736266If only you were closer.
>>32738216Then just shriek to paralyze /K/ay and /Fit/simmons, use your tongue to snag him like a good little monster freak, and boom. Body.
>>32739579We're on autosage. Someone going to archive?
>>32739886It's already been archived, I'll start a thread later, after this thread 404's. It's missing the N, though, so feel free to re-archive it.
>>32740665Hey Teli, is this what you intended to happen when you started this quest?
>>32740705I intended to follow any of the first even numbered posts, and just go with it.
>>32740739The File Select "mechanic" was intended as well? Don't you figure you've a shitload of characters to worry about already?
>>32740762Someone in the QTG thread suggested I start a new game, so I set that up. Yes, I have a shit load of characters, but I'm simply following what the posts say. That's how One-Armed got tied up in the bakery.The third file slot is locked until both games are complete.