Woops, forgot to mention, even number suggesting PAUSE, FILE SELECT will bring us to the file select.

http://suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/archive.html?tags=Neckbeard%20Quest

Previous threads.

>>32678176
Fluff your beard suggestively.

>>32678176
Go in and look at what's for sell. Then go up to her and ask what's new.

>>32678176
Swagger in with an illustrious bow, and flick your beard like a true dandy.

>>32678260
second

Maybe we can give one arm a cthulhu arm

>>32678176
Find a circular opening and roar at her like this
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OVCxJ1aT24A

>>32678515
man i miss that opening

>>32678515
This.

>>32678176
Enter the store nonchalantly, release aphrodisiac phermomones and woo her with some terrible pickup line such as "I see that the juiciest bun in this whole store is not on display but behind the counter. Say what, how about you closed earlier today and let me have a taste?"

Rub your face all over the window and bare your shiny teeth and mouth child

>>32678176
Take a moment to revel in our rightful restoration as main character.

>>32678176
Buy bread to serve delicious soul sandwiches to our glorious demon lord so that we can get more power.

Glorious neckbeard seduction of our catgirl waifu. Give her Charm Dealers kiseru as a gift.

>>32678936
This. Share some dope Opium with her; catgirls love that shit.

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You enter the bakery. Your sharp clawed fingers caressed through your fluffy bear, your pheromones fill the shop. Preparing a pickup line so divine, you-

File: TG715.png (540 KB, 1000x900)

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She's not at the counter.

>>32679013
Is there a bell we can ring?

>>32679013
Look around for freshly baked cupcakes and shove them into our mouth(s) without any thought of checking the ingredients.

>>32679013
Dive through the back door. No time for caution here.

>>32679013
If there is a tiny bell we can ring, ring it
if there isnt gesture ringing a bell while making ting sounds

>>32679013
Man the counter. Patiently wait for her return. Meanwhile fetch a cake, consume cake, enjoy it, don't gulp it down whole.

>>32679013
Rub neckbeard on the counter, marking it with our scent. Drum out a lively Caribbean beat on carapace. Await catgirl.

>>32679013
Kick pheromones into overdrive. Make this room foggy with pheromones so she'll be amiable when she gets in here.

Rolled 54

>>32679071
It's our shop now.

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>>32679040

You wouldn't do that to dear baker minion, wouldn't you?

>>32679086
>>32679096

You drag your luxurious neckbeard on the counter, leaving a lovely pheromone scent behind. This shop is now your property now.

And before you start drumming a lively Caribbean beat on your armor, the kitchen door opens.
"Hey, it's you again!"

>>32679500
"Gimme some sugar, baby."

>>32679500
Lean against counter, fluffing neckbeard casually. "Got anything there for me?"

>>32679500
Haldo, what have you been up to?
also FEED ME please

>>32679500
Be as flamboyant as demonically possible.

Don't forget to lick her hello.

>>32680893
>her hello
first time I've seen it called that

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>>32679596
>>32679602

>Gimme some sugar, baby.

"Help yourself~"

>>32680944
Well, you know, 'Hello Kitty'

>>32681142
>Lick her

>>32681178
this

>>32681142
Help ourselves to her woman parts. That's what she meant, right?

>>32681299
Nah, she's too cute/useful/obedient to eat. Just molest her sexually.

>>32681142
Fuck the cake

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>>32681178

You gave Baker catgirl a lick on the cheek. She's purring.

>>32681569
Eat cupcakes

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"You still forgot your receipt. "

>>32681569
Now lick her belly. And throw in some compliments.

>>32681569
"Want some more?" Lick slowly downwards, neck, collar bones, etc.

>>32681592
"Then that gives me another reason to come back here. As if you weren't enough of one."

>>32681592
"Got enough to settle it right here in my pants. Or I'm just THAT happy to see you."
Now lick her armpits.

>>32681592
Aww.
Scratch behind her ears. "Hold onto it for me."

>>32681592
seconding >>32681853

>>32681592
Pet the catgirl.

>>32681853
Trying for evens!

>>32681853
One last try.

>>32681630
Is pretty similar anyways, I've just realized.

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>>32681652

>Got enough to settle it right here in my pants.
>Or I'm just THAT happy to see you

Then you lick her armpits.

>>32682624
Scratch behind her ears.

>>32682624
Pet the catgirl.

>>32682624
I feel indebted to her now. Buy all the cookies.

>>32682624
Oh no, the cupcakes. Eat them before they fall.

She looks dead inside.

>>32682851
You would too If a fluffy abomination licked your armpit.

>>32682624
GOD FUCKING DAMN IT WE WORKED SO HARD ON THOSE CUPCAKES

>>32682985
QUICK, SWITCH CHARACTERS AND WE MIGHT BE ABLE TO SAVE THEM

>>32682795
Seconded, snatch them up with your magical tongue before they touch the ground.

>>32682624
Save the cupcakes.

>>32682624
>>32683040
PAUSE, FILE SELECT

>>32682624
Run away. We can't let her give us that receipt.

>>32683208
Agreed. That lack of closure is what keeps her interested in us.

>>32682624
God this quest is fucked

It's glorious

>>32682891
Now I want to see ending up with Neckbeard tied up, right next to One-Arm.

>>32684703
>see this ending up
Had to correct myself.

Am I the only one who thinks of this as a different timeline? Our kitty cupcakes in the other save should be fine I hope

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>>32682708

Aw, she likes that!

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>>32682780

"Oh! My cupcakes!"

>>32686575
Quick, save cupcakes! Five second rule!

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"I worked hard on those.."

"Well, I have another batch in the kitchen, so it's not a total loss."

>>32686608
Consume the cupcakes. Then when we finish say "What cupcakes."

>>32686633
Buy some of her delicious confectionaries to cheer her up after the tragic loss of the cupcakes.

>>32686633
Lick the floor clean.

>>32686633
Buy the floorcakes. Then eat them.

>>32686633
Eat cupcakes off floor. Then eat her out.

>>32687799
Do this.

>>32686633
Stroke the tail.

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>>32691222

>>32691222
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4nyHPIcbn88

So uh

We're gonna eat her aren't we

>>32693141
Hell no. Eat her out, was not selected as an option.

>>32693303
All I'm saying is that every time a girl liked us it hasn't exactly gone well for either party.

Besides look at how cute he's making her there's no way she's going to last through the thread

>>32693426
Maybe we'll get lucky?

>>32694692
SHE TRIED TO EAT YOUR DICK

>>32694801
Then we ate her.

>>32694801
Or give him head. He's not very bright.

>>32694821
At some point we really ought to find other solutions to our problems.

>>32695554
If it ain't broke...

>>32694821
>>32695554
To be fair, beardstrosity only ate her on accident, and it was after she had already been decapitated.

>>32686633
Should be about time for Teli to sign back on.

>>32686684
>>32687799

If I'm not mistaken, these are the winning posts, but how can Beardy into money?

>>32697627
It's not as if he's broke now.

>>32697627

If he doesn't have money, the kid in his stomach probably does.

Teli come back.

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>>32686684
>>32689872

You decide to eat the cupcakes. They were rummy and delicious.

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>How much were they?

"On the house."

>>32699886

Lick feet.

>>32699886
Pay our waifu for her delicious baked goods.

Order more for our minions. Of which she is now one. No choices or explanations.

PAUSE, FILE SELECT

>>32699920
"Abouts times I'm gettings some mores damneds times in this stories."

>>32699951
u wot
Garush is a playable character in this file, m8.

>>32699976
>TFW you remember naming most of the early characters

I fucking missed this quest.

>>32699904
Lick dirty, dirty pussy clean

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>>32699914

You start licking on her feet.

>>32700128
Work your way up.

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>>32699920

>>32700128
Inquire about what the fuck is going on outside

>>32700128
Now work your way upwards... licking only, no biting!

>>32700128
>Can't tell if into it, or paralyzed by fear.

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>>32700153

Oops, forgot to update soul count

>>32700153
>Resume Neckbeard file. Perspective switch to Yorick/Garush.

>>32700153
resume

Rolled 47

>>32699886
>>32699904
What happened to the guy in the back ground?

"Cool, Is there more?"

>>32700156
Well, there's another minion go-

>>32700194
wat
67 minions?

>>32700194
Wait we have 67 minions? Beardy is way better at this than all evidence suggests.

>>32700255
Fear, gentlemen, can move mountains.

>>32700255
>>32700242
Something tells me one of our minions rests in literal pieces.

New game

>>32700194
>new file

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>>32700242

fuck shit sorry

>>32700222

You are now Yorick. Time to wake up you awful freaking idiot.

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>>32700222

You are still Yorick. Jesus dick it's cold outside.

>>32700293
Don't you talk shit about my waifu.

>>32700335
Look kawaii

>>32700335
Yell until someone picks you up.

>>32700335
Jesus fuck, how would you know? You're just a rotting head you dumb cunt.

>>32700335
Observe aloud internal monologue re: Jesus dick.

>>32700350
Like a baby.

>>32700335
Check stats.

We never did get to see Yorick's stats.

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>>32700346

>Nrrghrnrghrghrnrghrgh....

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Rolled 6

>>32700350

>IT'S FUCKING COLD HERE
>ONE OF YOU COCKSUCKERS BETTER PICK ME THE FUCK UP NOW

>RIGHT
>NOOOOOOOOOOW

"Somebody go take care of her so I don't have to listen to her."

Let's see who'll come to your aide.

1. Garush
2. Charlotte
3. Anry
4. Mako
5. Anon
6. /k/ay
7. Mimic
8. Some other student of your choice

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>>32700570

"Fine, I'LL go take care of her myself..!"

"WHAT."

>>32700660
wut

>>32700660
"You got a gun? Can I see it? Where does the clip go?"

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>>32700674

"I asked you first."

>>32700688

"Is that what you were yelling for? To know what I'm carrying?"

>>32700846
Take me to Abs mcgee. I need to be over there for reasons.

>>32700846
Is that a FAMAS?

>>32700862

Yes... we need to keep an eye on him... to make sure he doesn't do... something...

>>32700846
"Slavshit?"

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>>32700862

>Take me to Abs mcgee. I need to be over there for reasons.

>>32700918

>We need to keep an eye on him, of course..!
>To make he doesn't do.. Something...

>>32700846
fuck make me a body already
being a head is annoying
plus overdone
we already have torpedo asshole

>>32701032
We do? Last I recall, his body broke down our door and took back his head.

>>32701027
do >>32701032

>>32701057
His body broke down the door and confronted us for his head

but then beardy showed up and threw torpedo's body fucking far away

I think

>>32701086
That is how it went.

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>>32701032

"I'll help you get a body."
"But you have to agree to stop calling my boyfriend a slut."

>>32701209
Your WHAT

>>32701209
So you want me to lie? I can do that.

>>32701209
alright
faggot

>>32701228
She's talking about anon you moron not garush.

>>32701209
Woah woah woah...

You like fags?

>>32701245
Nah. Call her a slut instead.

>>32701266
o rite
she's female

>>32701209
I can promise to stop calling him a slut specifically.

>>32701209
I need to call someone a slut. Are you prepared to bear his burden?

>>32701258
Well, no shit?

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>WOAH WOAH WOAH
>You like fags, slut?

"Do you want the body or not?"

>Oh, I do. And I can stop calling him a slut specifically.
>But I need to call someone a slut.
>Are you prepared to bear his burden?

"That's almost as endearing as fag. Whatever. Do you want to go now?"

>>32701444
It's 300 hundred miles to Chicago we got a full tank of gas, half a pack of cigarettes, it's dark out and we're wearing sunglasses.
Hit it.

>>32701444
You gon' get neckhole-raped with a Mauser.

>>32701444
"On a scale of yes to no. Yes!"

>>32701444
Sure, let's go on a rollicking fucking adventure. You and me, best fucking friends, two ladies on a mission. I'm not being sarcastic, it can be hard to tell.

>>32701444
Sure. You gonna tell your whore boyfriend where we're going? Alsoweshouldtakeabsorc. For muscle.

>>32701444
Yeah, let's go slut.

Rolled 1

>>32701475
>>32701507
>>32701525
>>32701569
>>32701603
Christ no evens. Rolling to support one of these.

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>>32701476

She wouldn't dare, you'll rip her tits off.

>>32701692
>>32701475

>It's 300 hundred miles to Chicago we got a full tank of gas, half a pack of cigarettes, it's dark out and we're wearing sunglasses.
>Hit it.

>>32701692
>Implying Yorick would watch things like Blues Brothers

Bitch be a Twifag.

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>>32702102
>Implying everyone doesn't love the mother fucking Blues Brothers

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You may control both Kay and Yorick.

It is currently 35F, there will be a chance of snow. It is now 10:12 AM.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ieapBou_3cs

>>32702142
>Head to graveyard.

She didn't say it had to be fresh.

>>32702142
Go to the nearest bodyshop to buy a body

>>32702142
Go to /g/ for a robutt body.

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Rolled 2

>>32702166
>>32702174

Rolling.

>>32702142
can we really defy these quads?
>>32702222

>>32701209
Who did anon just punch?

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>>32702249

Even quads are right.

>>32702222

You decide on your journey to a bodyshop in /g/. It's pretty far out there, so prepare to transit hop. The only trains station in this part of /tg/ is Cat Park station.
Here is your position on the map.

>>32702390
That cyclops, whose name escapes me at the moment.

>>32702420
Exit Dennis

>>32702469
Mako.

>>32702420
Carjack somebody. We're motherfucking /K/ay. We don't do public transit.

>>32702505
This.

We burned down an entire thread because we didn't like our job.

>>32702420
Get to walking.

>>32702420
Try and make small talk as you go. Ask Yorick if she has any hobbies. Try to angle towards getting her to ask about yours.

>>32702420
Head to the station. Why not be efficient about things?

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>>32702962

>So, got any hobbies
"Yeah I do."

Okay Yorick, what do you tell the nice lady about what you do?

>>32702880
>>32703816

Surprisingly no trouble Today. You managed to get to Cat Park station without a scratch.
Train doesn't arrive until 11:15 am, you have time to kill.

>>32705151
"devour souls, scare old ladies, masturba...well, guess I can't do that one anymore."

>>32705151
"I write a bit."

>>32705151
Pet the cats

>>32705216
Oh yeah! I totally forgot about her, ah, vivid imagination.

>>32705151
I spend most of my time being INCREDIBLY FUCKING SEXUALLY FRUSTRATED because that ork won't put me between his legs.

>>32705151
Hiss at cats as we go. Since we're a kind of banshee, cats are probably afraid of us.

>>32705355
You'd think that.

Cats: Mob-love on Yorrick.

Yorrick: Hate it.

>>32705365
Seconding.

Wait, wait.
It just dawned on me.
Did we just solve "anon being captured by a gun-toting fem/k/ommando" without killing, maiming or decapitating someone?

>>32705492
...yeah?

Who do you think we are, Beardstrosity?

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>>32705216

"I write a bit."

>I see.

>>32705272

"But I spend most of my time being INCREDIBLY FUCKING SEXUALLY FRUSTRATED because THAT ORC WON'T PUT ME BETWEEN HIS LEGS!!"

>Interesting.

"And you?"

And what do you tell the nice banshee head, young lady?

>>32705619
"Guns."

>>32705619
"Guns. Zombie plans."

>>32705619
Military history.

>>32705712
This, and launch into a lengthy, detailed description of exactly what you will do when the zombie apocalypse comes. Plans, backup plans, secret plans but ok I'll tell you because you're clearly DYING to know.

>>32705619
Hanging out in the woods and talking about how shitty California is

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>>32705712

>Guns. Zombie Plans.
>So, here's how I have planned for the zombie apocalypse.
>First I blahblahblahblah...

"What are you doing. Don't lower me down."

>>32706246
UNLEASH THE PUSSY!

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>Then I blahblahblahblahblahblah have boyfriend do blahblah...

"HSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS"

>>32706246
Oh god no no no noooooooo!
IS THIS BECAUSE I CALLED ANON A SLUT

>>32706289
>Ignore hissing, continue detailing plans

>>32706289
Hissing is clearly a sign of approval. Extrapolate on scheme to use Anon's tears in underground hydroponics bunker.

>>32706289
Cats: Drag Yorrick back to your favorite tree and teach your kittens how to hunt dem drills.

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>>32706326
>>32706346

>And you see, I plan to use Anon's tearsin an underground hydroponics bunker, and blahblahblah

"EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE"

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>EEEEEEEEEEEeeeeeeee oh fuck it when is that train getting here

>>32707187
Yorrick: Repress as your face swells due to allergies.

/K/ay: Mug passers by to pass time.

>>32707187
Train: arrive. Happen to be transporting Cat Appreciation Club to their ongoing, cat-filled thread.

>>32707187
Pet the kitties.

>>32707187
The train arrives, but is arranged in rollercoaster fashion, including a height requirement to ride.

>>32707187
Wait for the train while singing sea shanties.

bump

morning bump

>>32711961
Some asshole misarchived this while copy/pasting, and that asshole is me.

http://suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/archive.html?tags=eckbeard%20Quest

If ya want to vote it up.
Still pulls all of them with "eckbeard quest" though...!

I'm so sorry.

>>32714566

Can't you fix it?

>>32714805
You'd have to beg.

>>32714805
Only the suptg admins can fix it

>>32714566
Time to search by title rather than by tag.
http://suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/archive.html?searchall=Neckbeard+Quest

>>32707187
Dump as many cats as possible on Yorick

>>32717622
Bamp

Bump

Un poquito bump.

>>32721734
MIENTRAS TANTO, LOS MAGOS DEL BUMPO!

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>>32707268

10:25 am

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10:43 am

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>>32717622

10:44 am

>yeeeeeeegh

>>32723864
Eat one of the cats in frustration.

>>32723864
Cats love her, huh?

>>32723864
Wiggle around and scream

>>32723864
Assume control, cat body is go.

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>>32723960

Bastard ass cats

10:56 am

>>32724666
Satan wills it so!

>>32724824
Cats: Shred

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>>32724250

11:02 am

>>32724863
FINE I'LL STOP CALLING HIM A SLUT AUGH

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>>32724666
>>32724860

Unfortunately cats began shredding at your face, unable to start a body of cats.
You continue to scream.

11:05 am

>>32724960
/k/ay: Ready to stop making fun of my boyfriend? I think I found a place that will mount you with a little plaque for me.

>>32724960
Shouldn't eat pussy. Let that be a lesson.

>>32724960
Let out a supersonic wail above human hearing that will effect the cats and scare them off.

>>32724960
"Done being a bitch yet?"

>>32724960
Power shriek

>>32724960
Pick Yorrick back up.

>>32725007
>>32725099
These things

>>32724960
So... Will these scratches be able to heal at all? Just thinking about how she's a banshee possessing a dead girl's head.

>>32725175
They should, I think the problem was that her soul was no longer attached to the body.

>>32725252
Makes sense.
I enjoy the torment which Yorick and Torpedo Asshole go though too much.

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>>32725132

>Done?

"Uuuuuu..."

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11:15 am

You have 5 minutes to board the train to the /tg/ main station.
Then take the train to front page station and take the train to /g/.

>>32725491
Yorrick: Try not to cry.

>>32725491
Board the train

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>>32725984

4 minutes until departure. Yorick is still shaking.

>>32726176
Hug her and then whisper in her ear "Don't fuck with me."

>>32726176
Talk to the dude next to you.

>>32726176
Flash your boobs

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>>32726282
>>32726452

>'Sup.

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"Hey."

>>32726620
Leave Yorrick. Bang train stranger.

>>32726620
Tease Yorick about not getting any.

>>32726620
Aww shit it's a /fit/izen. Search his pockets for spaghetti.

>>32726620
>discuss how to get /fit/

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>>32726682

>How rude, Yorick~!
>You don't have any tits to greet this nice man with?

"uuuuuuuuuuu"

"Ah.."

>>32726867
Talk to him about building muscle mass. We need to get anon fit.

>>32726867
>stroke yorick like a cat

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>>32726960

You place Yorick back into your lap and started to stoke her head like a cat. You can hear her whimper already.

>So, tell me about muscle mass. I know someone who could use this information..

>>32726867
"Oh? You're not interested then Yorick? I had no idea you were so modest! We'd better get you a nice and flat body so the boys don't notice you."

>>32727115
Inquire about the finer details of sculpting and maintaining muscle with the /fit/izen, particularly on how to maintain excellent abs. Make sure to ask for examples of exercises and that Yorick is watching.

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>>32727115

Get Yorick a Realdoll body.

>>32727209
I was going to protest that she wouldn't be able to move it

Then I realized that was PERFECT

>treating best character like shit.
nah son, nah.

This quest has the longest running continuous threads I swear

>>32727388
This was my reaction as well, I like Yorick best, but it does seem in-character. /k/ay blew up her post because she didn't like her job and raped cryanon because she... was lonely? I interpret all of this as punishing Yorick for flaking on her "no more calling my boyfriend a slut" request.

>>32727361

Yes, that is why I picked it. Perfect body for teasing and arousing Yorick

>>32727115
Yorick: Attempt to lick abs.

We past bump limit? If not, bampu-san.

>>32729832
Well, that, or a secret urge for sadism.

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Train has departed. 30 minutes until we reach our destination.

>>32727134

>"Oh? You're not interested then Yorick?
>I had no idea you were so modest!
>We'd better get you a nice and flat body so the boys don't notice you.

She's whining even louder.

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>>32727192

>Inquire me of your body maintenance. Maybe show me some examples of exercises to maintain excellent abs?

"Of course."

>>32729832
That was her trying to kill herself by self-immolation. Also, no suicide threats. Not doing it for attention.

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The /fit/izen begins an explanation while he starts his exercise example.

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>Now pay attention, Yorick!
>You might want to try this with your own ~partner~

"Uuu.."

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And you made sure sweet little Yorick pay close attention to his every detail.

>>32733403
Yorick: Break free, inhale abs

Yorick: Steal the sluts body.

>>32733403
Ask the /fit/izen if he can demonstrate any exercises using a medicine ball. Using Yorick as the ball.

>>32733370
The intersection of his pecks, the nipple, objects on the other side makes this man's muscular profile resemble a smug rooster. Lookit that gobbler.

>>32733403
Yorick: imagine how much manlier with a pompadour.

Bump

>>32733602
This is a great idea.

When
>>32733580
Doesn't work out, do this.

>>32733403
Yorrick: Steal /fitizen/ body.

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>>32733580

"Ow, you cunt!"

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>>32733602

>Hey, can you show me any exercises with a medicine ball?
>You can use my friend here!

"No thanks, I don't think I want to risk getting my hands bit off."

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>>32734582

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We are reaching main station soon.

>>32738184

>Kyuhh..

>>32736266

If only you were closer.

>>32738216
Then just shriek to paralyze /K/ay and /Fit/simmons, use your tongue to snag him like a good little monster freak, and boom. Body.

>>32738377
Bump.

>>32739579
We're on autosage. Someone going to archive?

>>32739886

It's already been archived, I'll start a thread later, after this thread 404's. It's missing the N, though, so feel free to re-archive it.

>>32740665
Hey Teli, is this what you intended to happen when you started this quest?

>>32740705

I intended to follow any of the first even numbered posts, and just go with it.

>>32740739
The File Select "mechanic" was intended as well? Don't you figure you've a shitload of characters to worry about already?

>>32740762

Someone in the QTG thread suggested I start a new game, so I set that up. Yes, I have a shit load of characters, but I'm simply following what the posts say. That's how One-Armed got tied up in the bakery.

The third file slot is locked until both games are complete.