Anyway, all of that is neither here nor there. You're enjoying a nice tea party with Alfonse, a troll you'd probably treat like a teddy bear if he didn't have that horrible rotting skin smell, and a few of the goblins you're pretty sure are completely obsessed with you. Not that you know their names. You have a hard time keeping up with Shax's friends, especially since she is so good at making them. The main thing on your mind, however, is the note you received from your brother last night. He managed to sneak into camp and leave a message for you, asking you to meet up with him. He doesn't want you to tell anyone, of course.

>Let's see what he wants. He may be a bit of a fuddy duddy, but he is your brother.
>Tell Shax. We can capture him! Crippling the command structure of the defense! Or something.

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HAHA

Time for best bi-I mean best girl!

>>32657784
>Let's see what he wants. He may be a bit of a fuddy duddy, but he is your brother.
We can DARK MAGICAL GIRL HENSHIN our way out no problem, so we might as well.

>>32657784
>Let's see what he wants. He may be a bit of a fuddy duddy, but he is your brother.

Hard decision. But let's see what he wants. He is our brother.

>>32657784
Let's see wot tha git wonts, eh? We're a champion now! or somethin...

Oh wow... here I was all ready to go full goblin logic and we get a thread playing as Allonces. Switching gears...

>>32657784
>>Let's see what he wants. He may be a bit of a fuddy duddy, but he is your brother.

>>32657757
>Let's see what he wants. He may be a bit of a fuddy duddy, but he is your brother.
Bring Alfonse for protection. He won't tell anyone.

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I'm still thinking about the other day when we made that elven god sweat up a storm.

Man that was hilarious.

Such brotherly love!

Writing.

>>32657978
Good thinking. We can put a cute collar and leash on him and say we're taking him for walkies.

>>32657757
Oh hey, I guess Allonces isn't a complete psychopath. Just mostly.

>Let's see what he wants. He may be a bit of a fuddy duddy, but he is your brother.

>>32657978
This.

>>32657978
Best plan.

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Hello~

>You're not sure how she does all this shit, to be honest.
Allonces swears? Man, I'm more surprised then I think I should be.

>>32658091
Whoah

>>32658091
That's pretty amazing anon!

>>32658129
Neo pls.

>>32658180
I was pretty amazed by how well it looks considering how little I know about animation. Some of the last frames bled into eachother for some reason though... Not sure what happened there.

The party comes to a satisfying conclusion, and you teach the goblins many new words and polite turns of phrase. The small talk was almost even nice this time! It has been a hard time bringing culture to this camp. Nearly all the progress you had made was lost on that dreadful trip to that dreadful continent, but they picked things back up easily. There are many new faces now, as well. Some of the dark elf women linger at the edge of the party, looking at you play with these goblins. You don't know if they are jealous or mocking you. It's okay, you know what kinda elves their men prefer after all.

Spoilers. It is you.

Regardless, you have business to take care of. Your brother was always nice to you growing up, even if he was fifty years older, so you owe him at least an audience of some kind. You excuse yourself from the stragglers at the party, and whistle twice for Alfonse. He was easily trained. You always liked training the hunting elk back home, so Alfonse has been a nice project. So well mannered as well! It really is a shame about that stink, but so be it.

You find a nice collar, and a silvery leash and attach it to the troll. For protection. If your brother attempts to recapture you, he'll bring a squad. Alfonse here can probably handle three or four sentinels by himself, and you'll take the rest. And it isn't like he'll be telling anyone. As darkness starts to fill the forest, you head out, getting past the sentries and heading to the meeting location. Alfonse makes a couple of breaks to eat some things, but that is to be expected.

"Sister." A voice calls out, "I thought I told you not to tell anyone."

You toss your hair and make a dismissive sniff, "Please, Alfonse can't tell anyone anything even if he wanted to."

"Alfonse? You named him after that cat? I thought you had grown out of taking in strays..." A tall elf with long platnium gold hair drops down near you. He has a bow on his back, and a scimitar on his hip. As well as various knives, a hand axe, climbing equipment, and leather armor. He has silvery eyes as well. Your brother has always been the talk of the elven ladies, but you know he remains single. "It's nice seeing you again after all these years, All'oncia."

It's nice to see him, too. But you're not about to admit it. "What'd you want from me, Andre'alph'eus? I'm kinda the invading force here."

He shrugs, "Come home. This raiding party doesn't stand a chance at the Forest's Heart. And yes we know that is what they're after. You don't want to be a part of this when they reach the Heart's defenses."

"Here is the thing," You cross your arms, suppressing a sigh, "I have a hard time believing Shax can loose at a fight. She's threw an entire country into chaos on Yselathe. Did you know she berated one of our own gods into helping her with just force of will? Why do you think your people are having a hard time finding her raiding party now? Sorry, but I'm going to stay on the winning side."

Andre shakes his head, "I didn't think you were the type to have a strong convinction for anything, much less a military operation. Still, the spirits there are something a goblin can't handle. Brilliant warchief or not." Is that what they're calling her? Hilarious! "I have respect for a powerful enemy, and I have concern for you as well." Wait. Respect?

Oh, that is too much. That is too good of an idea, Allonces! Your brother is handsome and single. Shax is cute and single. Having a demi-god for a sister in law would be pretty convenient as well. There is no way this won't work out.

>Convince your Brother to come... see the army and meet Shax to know he won't have a chance. Scheme to get them together.
>Leave for now. Try to get someone else in on this plan. Maybe Sitri?

>>32658488
>Convince your Brother to come... see the army and meet Shax to know he won't have a chance. Scheme to get them together.
Bout time Shax got hitched

>>32658488
>Convince him to come

"Listen...I fully believe Shax could win. The only people who might, MIGHT, have a chance of beating her are Mom and Dad...she's got her moments of intelligence but...just come with me. You'll be convinced once you see her fight."

>>32658488
>Leave for now. Try to get someone else in on this plan. Maybe Sitri?
Sitri? Sitri. She knows the ways of the heart and Shax has a big heart.

>>32657784
>>Tell Shax. We can capture him! Crippling the command structure of the defense! Or something.

>>32658488
>Convince your Brother to come... see the army and meet Shax to know he won't have a chance. Scheme to get them together.
She's 50% god and working for another. Get your brother in there, it'll be great having a god for a relative.

>>32658488
>Convince your brother to come

>>32658488
>Convince your Brother to come... see the army and meet Shax to know he won't have a chance. Scheme to get them together.

This is the greatest plan ever

>>32658488
Changing vote to get Sitri involved in the "Shax date" plan.

From >>32658523

>>32658488
>>Convince your Brother to come... see the army and meet Shax to know he won't have a chance. Scheme to get them together.
Oh yes

>>32658607
I smell shenanigans. You've got my vote

>>32658655
Yeah. She'll be the perfect conspirator.

Even if we drag our brother over there right now, we still need to get Sitri in on it.

>>32658488
>>Convince your Brother to come... see the army and meet Shax to know he won't have a chance. Scheme to get them together.
This needs to happen.

>>32658607
Ehh, leave her out.

Alright! Writing.

If this was happening while playing Shax I'd have no idea how to react.

>>32658712
It's Shax, so: Ignorantly deflect all attempts at matchmaking.

>>32658712
I think you'd be in character then,

>>32658758
Obviously

>>32658712
Go play with turtles or something?

>>32658790
Turtles are way better than prissy elves or whatever.

>>32658790
>STRANGE ELF MAN WANTS TO SHOW YOU HIS TERRAPIN
WHAT DO?

It's gonna be interesting to see how Chief plays Shax.

>>32658803
Show him how much better your Turtles are, obviously.

>>32658819
I hope she's doing something ridiculous when we show up with elf bro.

We need to completely shatter whatever image he has of her.

>>32658803
Introduce him to our sword of course!

>>32658803
Compare swords

>>32658837
>they walk in on Shax playing with and cuddling a small forest turtle
>Shax doesn't notice and they just watch for five minutes

>>32658803
Squidface is not amused

>>32658867
please

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>>32658831
I bet his don't even shoot lasers.

Or glow.

>>32658925
Oh yeah we can shoot a laser now cant we?

Just a small one, but it'll be useful, especially if we're locked in close

"Tell you what, come to the raid group with me. Meet Shax. See her solve some problems and fight, and you'll be convinced that it's pointless. I can just put you in a hood or whatever and disguise you. I assure you that our internal security isn't that tight." At least, as far as you're aware. Or maybe since you're not aware, it is super good? No, Allonces, we've talked bout this. Shax is as guilless as your average ox.

He runs a finger along his chin, "Getting to know your enemy better is always a good idea. Besides, a renowned general like herself would be interesting to meet. Fair enough, I'll come along." Hook, line, and sinker. You've always had the brains between the two of you. Same with mother and father. Being an ancient wise oracle doesn't lead you to many common sense decisions. Mother was always bailing him out of trouble.

Still, sneaking him through camp is going to be some trouble. You're going to have to get someone else in on this. You make some small talk before you get back into camp. The sentries still didn't notice your return, and no one comments on the cloaked man with you. A few dark elven women give an appreciative whistle at your brother's backside, but that is to be expected from those brazen hussies.

After getting to your tent, your brother relaxes. "This place looked pretty disorganized when I got here the first time. Is it normally this way? I saw a lot more activity this time around, but no one was cleaning anything up..."

You sigh, "It is a goblin camp, Andre. You should have seen it before that weird dracomagus cleaned it up."

"Dracomagus?"

"It's a long story."

You need to get a plan for this disguise plan.

>What do you disguise him as, and do you bring anyone in on disgusing him?

>>32658867
Allonces' brother is overcome with admiration for Shax's love of nature and begins to feel the funnies.

>>32658964
Paint him black. Disguise him as a Drow.

>>32658712
Tell him he sucks, he doesn't even have any scales.

>>32658964
Drow seems the most sensible option. So obviously we should disguise him as something else.

We can try bringing Sitri or Milda. If the goblin secretary was still around I'd suggest her.

>>32658997
Best part is that it'd work for half the camp and the other half wouldn't care

>>32658997
This, oh yes

>>32658964
Give him a nondescript robe?

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>>32658964
Don't disguise him.

Just say it's your brother and proceed as if nothing were wrong.

>>32658997
Oh GOD yes.

Do it.

>>32658964
Get Sitri on this.

>>32659036
Honestly, this would probably work.

>>32658964
Maybe disguise him as a follower of Illidan or whatever that elven god is who's meeting his god's new champion.

>>32658964
Mustache and monocle.

>>32658964
Dress him up as a chef

>>32659036
What's sad is this will actually work...

>>32658964
Seconding Sitri and Milda.

>>32659036
I think this would work, we just introduce them to each other.

>>32658997
Second

>>32658997
Definitely this
Elven blackface too good

>>32658964
>No, Allonces, we've talked bout this.

What do the voices say Allonces?

>>32659036
I thought the disguise was more for the brother's benefit, since we convinced him to come by saying he was going to spy, than to actually trick anyone.

>>32659068
Add french moustache and chef's hat, bam, outfit complete!
>"Oh, uh...I need this sword to cut the meat. Damn tough stuff!"

>>32658997
Give em the blackface with Sitri

>>32658997
Elven blackface

Hell yeah

>>32659105
That's more something Shax would do

Let's do the blackface. The Prophecy DID say we would wield dark and mysterious powers.

>>32659144
I don't think that meant Our brother's dong

Alright. Roll a d20 to apply blackface.

>>32659144
it's 'powers of color', anon.

Rolled 4

>>32659165
Please take my 20 to be a 1.
And my 1 to be a 1.
I wanna fail.

Rolled 13

>>32659165

Rolled 10

>>32659165
We're gonna crit-fail on this, I just know it.

Rolled 11

>>32659165
go

>>32659180
eh....

Can't we just choose to crit-fail?

>>32659180

I think we all wanted something other than mediocrity, anon.

You've disappointed me. And everyone else. I hope you take this shame with you to bed tonight, lying awake staring at the ceiling and thinking about what you've done so long you barely get any sleep.

Just kidding! I can work with this.

Writing.

Rolled 14

>>32659235
Can we just take 1?

>>32659264
Nah

Rolled 20

>>32659235
I'm disappointed in myself too.

I thought I had already used all my luck on go-karts and haven't rolled above a 10 in forever. Didn't expect my roll to even reach mediocre, especially in this quest.

>>32659372
Well there you go

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>>32659372

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>>32659372

>>32659372
Yep, you got a lotta bad karma to work through buddy.

>>32659372
I have the feeling that Allonces's incompetence paired with this Anon's rolls will doom us all

>>32659509
Eh, par for the course with that one. At least Wren isn't rolling.

>>32659546
Last PPQ was insane.

"Hmmm. You're an elf already, right? So all we gotta do is make you look like a drow!" An elegant solution!

"Do not do that."

"I've got a ton of makeup, it won't take long. As long as we just paint up your face and hands, you'll be fine!"

"Please, I think we can come up with a better id-" He is cut off by you covering his mouth.

"Don't talk, it'll smudge the makeup."

You continue to enjoy yourself onesidedly for a significant period of time, ignoring your brother's protestations during the full process. When you're finally finished she is looking, mouth agape, at himself in the mirror, you're standing behind him, arms crossed, with a triumphant grin.

"This makes me incredibly uncomfortable." Sitri has to see this, "When can I take it off?"

"When we're done." You grab him by the arm and haul him up, and start dragging him through the camp. No one seems to notice or care that you're dragging a guy across camp, regardless of his appearance. He gets a few more whistles from various drow ladies, which his reaction is hopelessly and pricelessly flustered at.

Eventually you make it to Sitri's tent. After bursting in, you drag your brother in with you. Sitri is laying on what appears to be a white lion skin, leg's crossed, hoof swinging in the air, smoking something, and writing music notes on a piece of paper at her side, naked. She glances over at you, "Hey. Who's the friend? I know I said I wouldn't mind getting up to something interesting with you, but I didn't know it'd be so soon. Or that you'd bring company." Oh, Sitri. The cad. She's joking. Probably. Your brother covers his face.

"Cover up yourself before my brother dies from a heart attack."

Rolled 9

>>32659559
5 Parker Luck in one night. Four of them from Wrenloft.

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"Brother? Did you get married while I wasn't look- oh my god that is make up." She giggles, and then burst into laughter, covering herself with a loose shawl while doing so. She kicks up and heads over, hand extended. "Name's Sitri. Nice to meet you. Aren't you supposed to be leading the sentinels of the forest against us or something?"

"I. Uh. That is to say"

You quickly put an arm around Sitri's shoulder and lead her off a short distance, quickly hissing your plan at getting your brother and Shax hooked up together. She can't keep a straight face, but she gets her act together, and turns back at him. "Wouldn't he get run over, personality wise?" You shrug. "Fine, I'll do it for fun if nothing else. So, what's the plan? Just introduce him and see if the magic happens? Or do you have something else in mind..." Sitri gives a scheming grin.

>Do you have a plan? (write in)
>Leave it up to Sitri!

>>32659575
>When you're finally finished she is looking, mouth agape, at himself in the mirror
Did we make him crossdress too?

Because I'm fine with that

>>32659601

a typo

though that wouldn't be beyond allonces

>>32659595
>>Leave it up to Sitri!
Let the love expert work

>>32659601
A guy crossdressing as a guy? What?

>>32659595
>Leave it up to Sitri!

I trust her in all things romance.

>>32659595
>Leave it up to Sitri!

>>32659595
>>Leave it up to Sitri!

>>32659619
The perfect disguise.

Rolled 12

>>32659595
Split the party.
"Sitri, you take Bearbreath and get him to find Shax. Make her show off her nature-loving side. Bearbreath has to take one for the team and morph into a turtle.
I shall lead my brother through camp, showing him how happy everyone is, the sense of friendship and unity, and when he finally sees the general of this dread army, he'll not be met by a skull-clad warchief, but a little girl at harmony with nature.

It's how I got him hooked up with my best friend's sister last time, it'll work again for sure."

>>32659595
>Leave it up to Sitri!

She's a bard! She knows this sort of stuff. Anything Allonces could suggest would probably just annoy Shax.

Does Andre like turtles? That's probably a dealbreaker. Maaaybe lizards, if push comes to shove.

>>32659595
Well, my plan was to just introduce them, but if Sitri can think of something better.

>>32659595
That Sitri picture is decidedly curvier than I'd imagined her being. I've always been picturing her as more of a slender athletic tomboyish body type.

>>32659595
So we get them in a room to meet and talk and then an accident happens and we trap em in there. Then sitri can play some nice music and we can get some nice food in there somehow.... Maybe we should let sitri handle this...

>>32659698
Well, she is pretty flat, and most people don't realise there are female satyrs

>>32659709
I can't wait to see how this fails.

>>32659698
I always thought she looked like a man.

>>32659698
I think it's mostly the goat half that makes her look curvy.

>>32659766
Eh, partly, but the chest definitely has a fair bit of volume there.

>>32659709
I almost think we might have to get them drunk...

>>32659760
It's been said before that she's feminine looking. It's just that no one believes female satyrs exist so they think she's just a pretty boy.

>>32659783
No way anon, that could have unforeseen complications. Plus, it has a miniscule chance of actually working.

The love master will work her magic.

Roll a d20 to determine how effective Sitri setting the mood is!

>>32659829
You're writing right chief?

Rolled 13

>>32659854
That anon from before here.

Rolled 16

>>32659854

Rolled 9

>>32659854
Go Sitri!

Rolled 14

>>32659854

Rolled 9

>>32659854
rolling for mood

Rolled 20

>>32659854

>>32659872
I'm not sure how I feel about this actually going well.

>>32659872
S'okay

I was hoping for a 20 though.

Just to play devil's advocate, is it possible to use a boss point on that?

Rolled 14

>>32659854

>>32659895
Just let it happen anon. This is Shax we are talking about.

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>>32659872
I'm beginning to wonder if this plan will actually work.

>>32659895
We could roll 20s on everything and Shax would still find a way to ruin the whole thing.

>>32659895
It'll be adorable

Andre isn't going to get a word in edgewise. Sitri was right when she said that he is going to be steamrolled in terms of personality.

>>32659895
We're just rolling for how good of a romantic atmosphere we set up, not how Shax feels about anything.

I don't think Shax would understand what a romantic atmosphere, regardless of how perfectly constructed.

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>>32659854

prepare yourself

for a magical evening

Writing!

>>32659936
He might learn a valuable lesson in the process though!

But seriously, match-making has a poor enough record when it's two willing and sane participants. Two completely ignorant participants one of whom is Shax though? Yeah, I'm gonna say there's no chance (thankfully).

Rolled 15

Hell Shax can steamroll elven gods in personality Andre doesn't stand a chance.

>>32659974
Sitri has the right idea of it. Doing it because it'll be hilarious, and not because she thinks it'll work.

>>32659974
He might become a new party member.

Lovestruck elf following the completely oblivious Shax around like a lost puppy would be funny

>>32660043
I REALLY don't see Andre falling in love with Shax. For a whole host of reasons. I'd actually be more worried about the reverse, which is still only about .2% worried.

>>32660083
I don't see him falling in love, but I can definitely see him winding up CHARISMA'D into her merry band.

>>32660083
Whatever happens, it will be amusing.

>>32660083
I think it's possible. Especially with how some of the BtB skills work. Still, don't really like the idea of him as a party member.

>>32660083
>Shax crushing on someone

I'd pay to see this.

>>32660145
I'd pay for it to never happen.

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>>32660201
Come on, it'd be cute.

>>32660201
Guess we'll have to agree to disagree

>>32660216
>It'd start shitstorms
FTFY

>>32660233
Doesn't everything?

>>32660233
I don't think OWQ players care enough to get really upset by it. I don't really want it to happen either but I'm not worried about that.

>>32660083
>I'd actually be more worried about the reverse, which is still only about .2% worried.

What's there to worry about? Shax will just claim him and he'll have to just deal with it.
I mean, that's how it works, right?

>>32660219
AND OUR ITEM ON SALE TODAY IS SHAX'S AFFECTIONS.

PEOPLE HAVE COME FROM ALL OVER THE COUNTRY TO THE QUEST PROTAGONIST AUCTIONS JUST TO SEE THIS PIECE. WHY WE HAVEN'T HAD A HOUSE SO PACKED SINCE LUCIANA BOUGHT REINHOLD'S LOVE FOR ONE MILLION ROADOLLARS! THIS PARTICULAR PIECE TODAY IS STARTING AT FIFTY GRAND, BUT DON'T WORRY; IT'LL BE JUMPING UP REAL SOON FOLKS SO GET YOUR DOLLARS IN.

Pretty sure shax likes her guys scaly any way.

>>32660445
We don't care about your fetishes, anon.

>>32660475
You know, she WAS fairly disappointed when that necromancer lizard wouldn't let her ride him.

>>32660517
I'll give you polite laugh because I'd rather assume that was a bad joke than an actual presentation of evidence.

Rolled 1

>>32660445
Shax finds it hard to get a man because all men are intimidated by her apparent super-strength.
Remember the bar and Drunk!Shax?

>>32660445
its not a fetish. I don't like that sort of thing but the one guy that I remember shax calling cute was a lizardman necromancer.

I don't have anything against Shax romancing with someone. It's not like it would shift the tone very much, if at all. It's Shax. Trust in the Shax.

>>32660619
I'd definitely start a shitstorm if romance happened. I mean, if no-one else did it first.

>>32660609
I remember that. Chief explained what kind of guy Shax might like, and the lizard guy was a close match in terms of personality.

It didn't have anything to do with the scales.

"Okay, we do it like this," Sitri begins, leaning in close...

Moments later, you're near Shax's command tent. Your brother looks a bit nervous, "Won't her guards see through this disguise?"

"What guards?"

"Why on earth would Shax need a guard?" Your brother seriously doesn't get it.

You pull Andre into the tent like last time, and Shax is laying upside down on the couch, kicking her feet in the air, flip flops hanging off her feet with a book titled 'How to Shoot Lasers' in her hands. She glances at you as you enter. Recognising you, she narrows her eyes, "Whaddaya want? I'm tryin' to learn here." She mumbles something afterwards you didn't quite catch.

Sitri comes in, carrying a few plates of food, laying them down. "Hey, Shax, thought we'd have an impromptu meeting. This fellow here is from the main camp, just seeing how you're doing."

Andre turns to look at the satyxis, before clearing his throat, "Yes, ah, I wanted to know how preparations to raid the fort are going."

"Ehh? You're supposed to prepare for something like that?" Shax kicks off her boots and heads over to the plates, She begins digging in hungrily. Sitri reclines on the couch and starts playing a tune on her pipes, after licking her fingers Shax grins at the satyr girl, "Oh! That's pretty!"

Andre opens his mouth, closes it, then takes a bite of the food. You get on the couch as well, stretching out to enjoy the show. There is no way this can fail. Your bloodline is irresistable.

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>>32660661
>There is no way this can fail. Your bloodline is irresistable.

You want to bet money on that, Allonces?

After a few bites, your brother continutes, "But the forest elves can summon massive nature spirits, their blademasters are peerless, and their archery second to none. Legions of them guard the forest's heart behind magical walls and an army of beasts and elementals."

Shax hooks a thumb at her sword, "That's neat but I can still cut those things in half, right?"

"Yes, but..."

"Then whatever. My boys can handle dumb animals. I got bombs for walls, and if those don't work I'll just knock 'em down myself."

"But the legions..."

"Get murdered by the boys, I thought I covered that." Shax gives him a look as if to say she thinks he's being dumb on purpose.

"You said animals."

"Ehh? I thought those were the same thing."

This isn't going well. You elbow Sitri. "Hey. Get the mood more romantic." Sitri rolls her eyes, and gets up. Dimming the lights, and starts humming a low, pretty tune.

"How are the boys going to beat those, though, don't you have a plan or something?"

"I don't need a plan. I'm the boss, so I tell people to come up with the plans. Delagatin'. That's what it means to be a good boss." Shax nods sagely.

Gosh they're just talking about work. You're going to have to do something to intervene.

>Interrupt and start talking up your Brother's accomplishments.
>Interrupt and start making girl talk with Shax.
>Interrupt and get Sitri to help steer the conversation somewhere more casual.

>>32660708
>>Interrupt and get Sitri to help steer the conversation somewhere more casual.

>>32660708
>Interrupt and get Sitri to help steer the conversation somewhere more casual.
Sitri is the best at this stuff.

The only one for Shax is Sitri. ShaxXSitri OTP. I will fight you. Shes perfect capture bait for Shax to come and save from a Good Wizards tower.

>>32660708
>Interrupt, break out the alcohol

>>32660708
>Interrupt and get Sitri to help steer the conversation somewhere more casual.

Talk about turtles.

>>32660638
If you think it'd actually go anywhere further than superficial humorous nonsense when we're not controlling Shax then... well. Well.

>>32660708
>>Interrupt and get Sitri to help steer the conversation somewhere more casual.
Sitri is the master of casual. Not only that, but she has a much better track record of getting Shax to do things over Allonces.

>>32660708
>Interrupt and get Sitri to help steer the conversation somewhere more casual.

Also, serve some alcoholic beverages.

>>32660743
As much as I don't see it happening.

I agree.

>>32660756
I don't think it'd go anywhere, certainly not here. I was just clarifying my stance for >>32660619.

>>32660708
>Interrupt and get Sitri to help steer the conversation somewhere more casual.

Allonces is useless at this, Sitri is an expert.

>>32660743
Sitri is mildly competent though, she might not get captured.

>>32660746
Seconding for adorable drunk Shax

>>32660708
Talk about lasers! If that fails, get Sitri to intervene.

Rolled 8

>>32660708
>>Interrupt and start making girl talk with Shax.

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>>32660708
>interrupt

Damage control!

>>32660746
Seconding. No way this can go wrong! :D

>>32660821
If I remember right, Shax's type is the one that knows how to pull their own weight but still needs rescuing every now and then. She wants someone competent, just not fully competent.

What are the three things you talk about when dating?

>>32660743
...Remember that time Sitri saved Shax from another oversized weapon user? Pretty sure she can handle herself.

>>32660860
No-one on /tg/ has ever had a date, anon.

>>32660860
Food, swords and turtles.

I think Sitri would get captured on purpose just to test Shax on heroing. Using her bardic knowledge to compare her maiden saving time to other heroes of lore.

haha I'm not used to being so casual

writing

>>32660983
Haha, I could see her doing that just to get inspiration for her new tale about deeds of derring-do and maiden rescuing.

>>32660991
Wait, casual or "casual"? I know Sitri isn't shy about being naked....

Just put some drugs into their drinks or something

>>32660860
Food, family, and philosophy. If you talk about what food she likes, it shows you're interested in them. If you talk about her family, she can see that your intentions are honorable. Talking about philosophy shows you respect her intelligence.

If you did have a father, would he like tea?

>>32661044
Drugging your bros is not cool. Also It only makes them more promiscuous for a bit, after which they just get fucked up and fall asleep and forget what happened. I have seen this.

Your brother ends up telling Shax all about the defenses they have ready for her, and Shax details each and every way she can easily defeat them. Is this treason? Or something? You've never been in an official position in a military. You're pretty sure your brother shouldn't just be giving away state secrets like that or something. Whatever, all that matters is that you can tell Shax is getting annoyed with the guy. Plan Shax's Fortures in Law is going awry. You get over to Sitri and run a thumb across your neck. This mood is dead. Sitri shrugs, then her face lights up and she holds up a finger before miming tipping back a cup.

Of course. Alcohol. Why didn't you think of that?

Quickly, you excuse yourself and the goat girl over some small reason.

"Hey, Sitri. Get the strong stuff." You hiss. You know satyrs keep the good stuff with them.

She gives you a strange look, "How strong we talking?"

"Super strong."

Sitri scratches her head, "I only got some of the stuff that we satyrs use at Holy Bacchanals, but I don't know if you regular folk can handle it."

"Whatever, just break it out."

"Hey, it's your decision." Sitri shakes her head and walks off. You get back into the tent and see that Shax is arguing with your brother about turtles being stronger than bears and elk. Apparently Andre is maintaining that a bear can beat a turtle and Shax refuses to listen to such talk. Several minutes later Sitri comes in with a jug.

Those were the last things you remember about the evening.

When you wake up you're in the middle of a fortress of some kind, and Shax is snoring on top of you. Her sword is pinning both of you to the ground. Groaning, you rub your forehead, and take a look around. Good lord. It looks like a tornado hit this place.Goblins are running around carrying loot everywhere.

What is happening.

>Make sure no one drew anything on your face.
>Wake Shax up. She snores very loudly.
>Panic.
>Try to find a responsible adult.
>Yell at everyone to be quiet.

>>32661425

>All of the Above

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>>32661425
Okay, maybe alcohol was a bad idea.

>Panic.
>Try to find your brother

>>32661425
>Find brother
Fuck, where did he go?

>>32661425
did... did we win?

>>32661425
D-did we raid the Forrest heart?

Some first date, huh.

>>32661425
>Make sure no one drew anything on your face.
The most importantest thing.
>Wake Shax up. She snores very loudly.
Her and the sword are heavy. Get them off.

>>32661425
Ah, sweet success!

>>32661425
>Panic.
You're missing out on the loot!

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>>32661425
>Yes, get Shax to drink the super alcohol while in the depths of an enemy forest!

>>32661425
>Panic
>Try to find a responsible adult
>Figure out why the area between your legs is so sore

>>32661425
Wake shax up, because I don't think we can manage anything else until we can get out from under her sword


Although if we can manage it, draw something on her face first

>>32661425
>Wake Shax up. She snores very loudly.

>Andre is crying in the corner muttering something about being ruined for marriage.

>>32661607
>Andre would always break down and cry whenever a turtle was seen or mentioned.

>>32661425
>Wake Shax up. She snores very loudly.
>Panic.

Oh dear.

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Alright.

Writing!

>>32661450
What he said

>>32661694
Quick question, does Allonces speak tree guy? Because I feel like their attempts to explain what the hell happened would be as entertaining as they would be ineffective.

Jesus you feel sore all over. You thump Shax on the shoulder. Then slap her face. "Hey. Get up. Get up you dummy."

"You're the duuummyyyy," Shax groans while waking up. While she seemed pretty comfortable on you, she quickly rolls off you and grabs her sword and levels it at you. "What'd you do, witch?!" You roll her eyes, looked around.

"Blame Sitri. She's the one who gave us that alcohol."

Shax is scratching her head when Sitri walks up. "That's not very nice." She waves a hand in front of your face. "Hey you two. We took the fortress. Shax ordered us to assault it to prove to your dumb brother that we could take it whenever we want."

"All, uh, part of my plan! Yeah!" Shax plants her hands on her hips and elicits a cheer from the boys. You lean over to Sitri.

"Is there anything on my face?" You quickly whisper to the goat girl.

She grins. "Yes."

"Oh god what?"

"Shax drew 'Allonces is Shax's Pet Forever' on it." The satyxis can't refrain from laughing.

"What's that mean?" What could it mean?

"Hell if I know."

Whoop approaches Shax with a pulsating green orb covered in golden vine decorations. "Honored one, we have the Forest's Heart." Oh fuck that is not something Shax should be messing with.

The Forest's Heart is a part of a set. The Soul, Heart, and Mind of the Forest are very, very powerful artifacts that are capable of extremely elaborate magics. They're also somewhat sentient.

>Tell Shax she shouldn't mess with it.
>Where the heck is your brother?
>Tell Shax you got some books on the subject if she's interested.
>Tell Sitri to give you the rest of her stash on the satyr booze.
>Offer to take care of the Forest's Heart for Shax.

Rolled 18

>>32662145
>Offer to take care of the Forest's Heart for Shax.

Because telling Shax she should mess with something, means she's gonna mess with it. Good thing she's got a good helping of laziness to her curiosity and stubbornness.

>>32662145
>Tell Shax she shouldn't mess with it.
>Offer to take care of the Forest's Heart for Shax.

This

>>32662145
>Tell Shax she shouldn't mess with it.
>Offer to take care of the Forest's Heart for Shax.
and wonder
>Where the heck is your brother?

>>32662145
>Offer to take care of the Forest's Heart for Shax.
Do this because Shax won't listen and I want her to mess around with shit she shouldn't

>>32662180
This.

>>32662145
>Where the heck is your brother?
>Offer to take care of the Forest's Heart for Shax.

>>32662145
>Where the heck is your brother?

>>32662145
Ask about brother

And tell her she shouldn't mess with it
Because I want her to mess with it

>>32662145
>Offer to take care of the Forest's Heart for Shax.
Also look for Andre.

>>32662145
I for one would like to see how Shax interacts with a sentient artifact.

>>32662145
>"I can handle it. I'm an elf, after all...also, where's my brother? And Mom and Dad? They should have been somewhere near here..."

>>32662145
>BEG Shax not to mess with that.
>inadvertently mention the rest of the set
>inadvertently reveal the locations of the Soul and Mind
>Offer to take care of the Heart of the Forest for Shax while demanding Sitri hand over the rest of her stash of booze before it falls into the wrong hands.
>Get very huffy about Shax claiming you as her pet.
Be slightly pleased about being Shax's pet forever.

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>>32660661
>and Shax is laying upside down on the couch, kicking her feet in the air, flip flops hanging off her feet with a book titled 'How to Shoot Lasers' in her hands
This is pure joy!

Rolled 10

>>32662145
>Tell Shax she shouldn't mess with it and fail horribly.

>>32662145
>Tell Shax she shouldn't mess with it
>Offer to take care of the Forest's Heart for Shax.
>Where the heck is your brother?

In that order.

>>32662145
>Where the heck is your brother?
Shax gonna Shax, might as well go see where he is.

>>32662145
> 'Allonces is Shax's Pet Forever'
Wow, lewd

>>32662145
>Offer to take care of the Forest's Heart for Shax.
>Where the heck is your brother?

>>32662366
Shax is secretly the lewdest.
But only for her Allonces.

Alright.Writing!

Whatever happens Shax is keeping the Heart

>>32662966
Allonces could utilize it better.

>>32662986
But it would look prettier in our demi-plane. Plus it might grow into something.

>>32662986
You dont know that.

>>32662986
>implying Shax wouldn't work it into her powerset like she does with everything else

She has Light Element god powers, Sea mom blessing, elemental blessing, Sword Saint powers, and now lasers.

That ain't too much of a stretch.

>>32663013
Treehaus?

"Hey, Shax? You shouldn't mess with that. It's an artifact of immense power..." Shax squints her eyes at you. Then places her hands on the Forest's Heart.

A large thrumming is heard, and the room begins to vibrate. It starts slowly, but then turns into a powerful shake. The horrible sound of stone grinding against stone sounds out. Crap you should have known better than to tell Shax not to do something!!

An emerald light pulses throughout the room, beams of light shooting out in flourescent streams. After what seems like an eternity of noise it stops. The Heart is cracked open, and an apparition rises out of it.

"Thank you for freeing me from my prison, mortal."

What.

The.

"Hey, my name is Shax, what's yours?" Despite the hangover and the strange cataclysm that happened, Shax is completely normal, you see.

"I'm one of the three ancient forest gods, captured and enslaved by the elvan people's many thousands of years ago."

WHAT.

THE.

"Oh, that's neat. So do I get anything for helping you out?" Shax has a toothpick and is cleaning her teeth while looking up at the lady.

=========================================================================

That's it for now! We'll return next thread where Shax will reap a whirlwind of upgrades!

Who is this goddess?

What immortal sins have the elves of the forest committed?

Where did Allonces' brother go?

Why would anyone choose to get Shax drunk?

Find out all these and more, next time on Oversized Weapon Quest Z!

Thank you everyone for playing, writing, and putting up with a sudden perspective shift and slow updates. Next thread sometime this week. Not sure when yet. Keep your eyes on twitter for updates!

I'll be starting another quest on Akun pretty soon, so maybe it will be of interest to you guys, too! See you next time!

>>32663211
Yaes.

>>32663211
....wat

What's "Akun"?

Rolled 18

>>32663211
Fuck....I knew that would happen. Forest hearts are always, *always* betrayed spirits looking for revenge.

>>32663211
What kinda quest?

>>32663211
Oh this is going to be fun

>Sorry lady, we couldn't get you the heart. It hatched into an imprisoned ancient god and gave me some cool stuff though


Thanks chief, I love actually managing to catch these threads when they start

>>32663211
I wonder if this forest god can give us more character upgrades!

>>32663211
>I'll be starting another quest on Akun pretty soon
Neat. I'm liking Akun's new facelift and the main reason I didn't want to browse it before was the old interface. Looking forward to one of my favorite QMs posting over there.

What's the quest about?

>>32663254
Anonkun.com

>>32663211
Whelp, we definitely need [Bite the Hand that Feeds You] now...

>>32663211
>Why would anyone choose to get Shax drunk?
Well, there is one traditional consequence of a night of blackout drinking that comes to mind. The surprise marriage.
Holding out hope for AlloncesXShax accidental drunken wedding.

>I'll be starting another quest on Akun pretty soon, so maybe it will be of interest to you guys, too! See you next time!
Damnit Chief, if you get me to return to Akun, I'll have to actually read all these tabs I have open!

>>32663405
Allonces is way too straight or that, anon.

>>32663211
Thanks for running. I might check out that other quest depending on what it is about.

>>32663405
Did you not read what we wrote on her face? She fight us over it, so she's pretty much a traditional goblin bride at this point.

>>32663436
I doubt anon was suggesting they married out of love.

Nevertheless, I agree with your sentiment. Where would they even find someone to hold a wedding?

>>32663461
>>32663314
>>32663279

Got three ideas that I'm deciding between.

I can't run two live quests at once, but if I only have to post in one every now and then. Well, that's vastly different.

>>32663211
>Oversized Weapon Quest Z
Does that mean Shax was actually able to learn from that book?

>>32663486
>I doubt anon was suggesting they married out of love.

>"Shax drew 'Allonces is Shax's Pet Forever' on it." The satyxis can't refrain from laughing.

>>32663614
Shax wouldn't mean that in a lewd way.

And it's also possible Sitri's just fucking with Allonces.

>>32663687
Doesn't stop Allonces from being Shax's Pet Forever.

>>32663486
>I doubt anon was suggesting they married out of love.
They woke up basically cuddling.

>Where would they even find someone to hold a wedding?
With the number of divine connections around here, really who couldn't officiate a wedding?

>>32663812
Actually, since we own a demiplane, are a god's mortal sword and are considered a saint, couldn't Shax have just officiated in any manner she saw fit?

>>32663886
she's a sword saint not a normal saint

it basically means she's good at swording

>>32662145
>fort battle is autosuccess
pfffhaha, I don't even know anymore. Damn elves lacking common sense.

>>32664087
How likely is it that anyone argues semantics with a goblin that good at swording?

>>32664181
depends on how much higher on the sword saint list they are.

Shax is still pretty low.


Granted 99% of the population isn't on that list so...

>>32664087
You saying there isn't a Todd of swording that Shax is a disciple of?

>>32664100
Drunk shax is a force of nature, did you really think an ancient powerful civilization of incredibly magical elves in a massive fortress full of elementals and spirit guardians stood a chance?

>>32664224

no one in the entire setting is named Todd this is an official and immutable fact

the idea that those sounds could form a name has never occurred to anyone

>>32664265
Hey chief, since you're still around I'd just like to say you're awesome.

I like your style.

>>32664265
I've heard that uttering such a noise is, in fact, illegal in most civilized and uncivilized areas in the setting, can you confirm?

>>32664404
Is it like saying Belgium anywhere but Earth?

>>32664265
Oh, how about a deified anthropomorphic personification swordsmanship instead? Something like the Platonic form of a sword god/goddes from wihich all sword deities are derived?

If so can we eventually fight it?

>>32664667

are you suggesting sword stands, because I don't know if that still counts as sword fighting

>>32664667
>>32664688
I imagine rather than be an extremely ornate and decorated god with many limbs, it would be a stick figure that's really, REALLY good at fightan, like in One Finger Deathpunch.

>>32664688
Hmm, to me stands would sound more like overpowered gods of individual weapons. Probably'd get game breaking fast if you started implementing that kind of think for upper level sword saints. That could be kinda cool though...

Nah, I suppose I'm asking if there's a second ter of more powerful but more abstract deities out there. Overgods that our gods pray to for help or to avoid the attention of.

Eh, maybe I should just give in and go to sleep. I'm clearly failing at explaining myself.

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>>32664688
>sword stands

>>32663211
>Elven god will smite you if you go there.
>First thing the god does is thank her.
Man, being around Shax is suffering.

I was hoping for more match-making shenanigans