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>>32426461
>>[Cry like a bitch]

>>32426461
>>[Cry like a bitch]
We're fucking 11 years old

>>32426461
>[Cry like a bitch]
Eleven year old kid going to a magic school he didn't know existed a few months ago?

This is the only correct response.

>>32426461
>>[Cry like a bitch]

>>32426461
>[Cry like a bitch]

>>32426461
>Even when a man
>deputy-headmaster

As if I wasn't interested enough. Gotta love those AUs

>>32426693
Not to mention >wall, not pillar
WHAT'S HAPPENING I'M SCARED

We're going down the rabbithole here.

As you look at them you search for something to say, but all that comes is tears.

Your father kneels down and hugs you.

"Shh. It's okay. It won't be that long, and like you said it should be fun. If anything goes wrong, just call us. Even if we aren't there, we wont let anything happen to you."

Your mother kneels down and gives you a hug too.

You wipe your eyes and smile again.

"We'll see you at Christmas." Your father says.

You break away from your parents and start moving toward the wall. About five meters out you start to run, and crash straight into another cart.

Both trunks slide from their carts and each land with a loud bang on the floor of the station.

“Oh, sorry.” Says the boy who was pushing the cart. He comes over to help put your trunk back on your cart. “Didn't realize we were going to the same place.” He whispers to you. He is tall for his age, which is to say your age. He has messy brown hair and he is smiling like you're a good friend he's happy to see again, not some random kid who just knocked into his stuff in the middle of a train station.

He fixes his trunk onto his cart. “See you there.” He dashes at the wall and disappears.

You follow him through a few seconds later and are greeted with a bustling platform filled with strangely dressed people. There is only one train, with a big 'H' on the front, you guess that's your ride.

>Look for the boy.
>Get on the train.
>Mill around a bit. You've got time before the train leaves.

>>32426784
>Get on the train.
Don't want to have to rush on to it.

>>32426760
Missed that. Though that might just be a misinterpretation.

>>32426784
>Look for the boy.
Too strange to pass up.

>look for boy

>>32426784
>Get on the train

We'll end up encountering the boy again, regardless of what we do. And we want to get good seats.

>>32426784
>Get on the train

Don't want to miss that shit.

>>32427209
>We'll end up encountering the boy again, regardless of what we do.
Yeah, even if we're in different houses, its pretty much guaranteed we'll have at least one class together.

You figure it would be smart to get on the train a bit early. You look over your stuff to make sure you didn't lose anything in the collision and start toward the train.

The people here seem so weird to you. Most people are dressed like they're homeless, or on a low budget TV show. There's the rare student dressed like you, most looking scared and confused like you too.

You're glad to get out of the chaos as you step onto the relatively quiet train. You have your pick of compartments so you sit in the front, then the conductor tells you the compartment is reserved and you move back a bit.

You sit alone for a few minutes before the compartment door slides open. A boy with his head in a notebook saunters in and throws his trunk on a seat. He flops down next to it and sinks deep into his notebook.

>Hi, my name's Shane.
>[Say nothing]
>Uh, rude.

>>32427290
>Hi, my name's Shane.

>>32427290
>Hi, my name's Shane.

>>32427290
>[say nothing]

Whoever it is clearly doesn't want to be bothered and can't be arsed to put up with our shit at the moment.

(say nothing)

>>32427290
Say nothing

Could we optionally stare at him like a total psycho?

>>32427379
>Could we optionally stare at him like a total psycho?
Seconding.

>>32427407
Thirding

>>32427290
>Hi, my name's Shane.

We're going to be on this truck for hours, might as well break the ice now. ENGAGE FRIENDSHIP PROTOCOL

>>32427407
Yeah. Lets' do this.

You say nothing and try to look busy, but you keep glancing at him out of the corner of your eye. You're kinda curious what he's reading in that notebook. After a while you are just glaring at him.

The compartment door opens countless times, but every time it does, the door slowly rolls closed again on your weird passive aggressive staring contest.

After a while the train starts moving, and at this point you are staring daggers into the top of his head. Finally the door rolls open and a kindly old woman says; “Would you like to buy anything?”

He finally looks up and as he does the boy screams and jumps back against his seat, throwing his notebook into the air.

The lady screams too and slams the compartment door.

“When did you get here?” He stammers at you.

“Uh, I was here before you.”

“Uh... Really?”

The boy looks lost. If not for his trunk you would half expect he randomly wandered in from outside and got on the wrong train.

“Well, uh, sorry about that.” He says. “I'm a little bit spacy. My name's Alex.”

>I'm Shane.
>Spacy? You're bonkers!
>[Say nothing]

>>32427597
>I'm Shane
>"What in that book of yours?"

>>32427597
>I'm Shane

NOW is the time to introduce ourselves. Don't insult the kid, though.

>>32427597
>I'm Shane.

>>32427597
>Say nothing and actually look at him like a fucking psychopath

The people have spoken.

>>32427597
>I'm Shane.

the book THAT good m8?

>>32427597
>I'm Shane.

Seriously, guys. We're going to be known as that crazy kid when we get to Hogwarts. Why the psychotic staring?

>>32427679
Because it was funny.

It can stop now, though. It'll just be creepy soon. And creepy people can't troll people.

>>32427679
We had nothing else to distract ourselves with, and apparently could work up the courage to actually just introduce ourselves.

>>32427679
>not wanting to be the crazy kid
We need rep man. Streetsmarts. We've failed if people don't flinch when we look a them.
Plus we need an excuse to have ourselves be thoughroughly mind-raped by legilimencers.
Oh wait, fuck. NO EYE CONTACT EVER! WEAR A BLINDFOLD AT ALL TIMES!

>>32427727
>>32427736
We keep it up, and people'll expect us to be a budding serial killer or mass murderer.

Hold it off for now. We can be creepy later.

>>32427767
We want to attract the Death Eaters and join the cool kids with their murders and other things.

I never read the books or watched the movie, they did that right?

>>32427767
That just means we'll have an easier time being recruited by dark wizards! Dark magic is best magic.

>>32427801
>>32427812
I'm fairly sure that the Death Eaters have been disbanded in this universe/time period.

And besides, who would want to join the bad guys in a universe where love is explicitly the most powerful magic in existence? That's like begging to get your ass kicked.

“I'm Shane.” You say, offering a hand shake.

He's too busy looking for his notebook to notice your hand, but he shouts “Nice to meet you!” From under the seat.

He eventually returns with his notebook.

“What's in your book?” You ask.

“Oh, uh, like I said, I'm a bit spacy. So I write stuff down in my notebook so I can remember it. I was trying to remember what the name of the school was, so I was going back through my notes, but it looks like I forgot to write it down.”

“'S Hogwarts mate.”

“Oh, is it, thank you.” He scribbles the name down in his book. “So what is your favorite textbook so far? I like Transfigurations. Simple. No big spell names, just focus.”

>I like Transfigurations too!
>Charms
>Potions
>Dark Arts [Be the edgemaster]
>Other

>>32427872
>Charms
>Wink at him

>>32427872
>Potions

Because, let's face it, that kind of shit can be useful as hell. Sure, curses are cool, but Potionmasters get truth serums and transformation serums and all kinds of fucking potions and shit.

>>32427872
>Other
divination, because we're lazy

>>32427889
Fucking this.

>>32427872
>Potions
Master of prep-time

>>32427889
>>32427935
Oh my fucking god, we're going to be that guy, aren't we?

>>32427872
>Potions
I got agree with >>32427925
Potions are the shit.

>>32427872
>I like Transfigurations too!

>>32427889
>Charms
>can literally make people fall in love
>can bend the will of others

Charms are the shit yo.

>>32427872
>Other
Arithmancy.

>>32428026
>>can literally make people fall in love
You're thinking potions there.

>>32427889
This!

>>32427872
>Potions

>>32428064
Am I?

I say we sort of dual spec then. Potions and Charms.

With potions you can regrow bones, refill your blood, make horrible poisons, mindcontrol people, transform yourself into all sorts of shit, become immune to fire, fly, gain supernatural luck, etc...

>>32427986
Yeah, we are.

Question: Can charms influence animals and the like?

>>32428126
You are.

Love potions were explicitly a thing that existed; the only actual spell to modify behavior, however, was the Imperius curse, which just outright takes control of someone's mind.

>>32428169
Given the first charms we see were to levitate feathers and shit, I assume so. Charms seems to basically be any non-transfiguration, non-combat magic.

>>32428064
>>32428178

OP, be extremely wary of love potion shit.

We're 11 years old and have neither the means nor the inclinations to create a harem.

>>32427872

Charms all the way.

>>32428242
I'm not saying we should.

Merely pointing out that, given prep time, Potions are the shit.

>>32428278
Someone's been playing Witcher.

>>32428278
So given the prep time we could build a harem with potions not charm?

Okay.

>potions for days

>>32427857
>love is explicitly the most powerful magic in existence
I wonder if there's a way to industrially massproduce love.
Do animals work? We could just get a shitload of puppies and white kids. Or does that kind of love not work?

>>32428325

>not becoming popular simply because we're the shit.

I mean, wouldn't it be cool if we outclassed Potter and his fucking plot armor just by playing smart and saving the day two months ago, before anyone knew that [insert threat here] would be a problem?

I'd love if we became Potter's antagonist simply because we kept stealing his thunder all the time.

>>32427982
I'd say this, with transformations maybe being a close second. Thinking about the far future, I like the idea of being the guy that's incredibly smart and has the patient mind for potions while also being able to use transformation.

From what I've gathered transformations are one of the best things to use in the middle of a fight, if you have the power for it. Otherwise I'd say potions and maybe defense against the dark arts. Just because all the dark creatures and stuff are cool and maybe some day we can be a monster hunter or something.

I don't know, I'm over thinking things, but I tend to do that.

>>32427872
>Potions
They just didn't get enough love in the series.

>>32428402
WARNING.
YOU ARE INTERFERING WITH THE CANON.
EXTREMELY BAD THINGS HAPPEN WHEN YOU INTERFERE WITH THE CANON.

>>32428402
Is Potter even going to be here? He could be graduated by now.

>>32428432
ERROR ERROR ABORT ABORT SHIT/FAN COLLISION IMMINENT ABANDON THREAD SHITSTORM INCOMING

>>32428432
>>32428402
I'd like to point out the fact that we seem to be in an AU or the future. There's a male deputy headmaster, and our parents told us to call them from the school if we ever got homesick.

>>32428432
>>32428456
>>32428467
>>32428469

All excellent points, I assumed that OP would have us play during the books, which is probably not true, in retrospect.

I don't mean to derail the thread, so I'm still voting Potions and Charms.

>>32428469
To be fair, they're muggles they probably don't know about the tech not playing well with magic if it hasn't been explained to them.

With that thought in mind maybe we could be the guy that finally breaks that barrier, if it's even possible. Of course if that hasn't happened yet then I doubt it will.

Also, I'm going with >>32428409. So,
>Potions, with a slightly smaller interest in transformation and defense against the dark arts or care of magical creatures or whatever it's called.

>>32427872
Potions

>>32428432
>>32428469
Wonder if we get to punt ebony dark'ness dementia raven way's sparkly cunt in.

“I like potions quite a bit, but I also like... charms.” You give him an over exaggerated wink.

“What? I mean charms are cool. You got something in your eye, mate?”

“What? No, I just... I like potions.”

“Oh, that's cool. Too much memory for me, lots of very specific instructions don't really sound all that good to me.”

“I could see that.” You say.

You and your new friend Alex chat all the way to Hogwarts. He forgets to change into his robes on the way, so when the train finally comes to a stop you two are among the last off the train.

A stout angry-looking scotsman accosts you almost immediately. “Ach! What did I say?! Get to the boats, first years!” He grabs the both of you by the collars and drives you down a muddy hill to a lake side. There about ten boats are lined up down the shore, all filled with kids who look like other first years. The man pushes you roughly into a boat and throws Alex into another.

“Now row you wee tossers!”

The entire fleet of boats sets off like race horses. By the time the boats are at the other end of the lake everyone is out of breath.

A man is waiting for you at the dockhouse. It's the deputy-headmaster, the one who had come to visit you.

“Welcome children to Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. In a few moments I will lead you through the door and into the Great Hall where you will be sorted into your houses. Please be patient and await my signal.”

Alex inches over to you. “So, Shane, which house do you want to be in?”

>>32428580
God, if she's here we should make her life a living hell. That just cements my vote for potions and transformations. We can practice our alchemy and planning and shit by being pranksters and raining down shit on anybody that poses a threat to us and our friends.

>>32428618
HUFFLEPUFF 4 LIFE NIGGA

>>32428618
>we did the wink

I like you.

Snake house master race. Literally.

>>32428618
That does raise the question of House.

Ravenclaw, perhaps? We know Alex won't be in that one, he'll probably be hufflepuff.

Or maybe slytherin?

I'll go with ravenclaw.

>>32428618
The raven one, son.

Whatever it was called.

>>32428618
Slytherin.

>>32428618
Ravenclaw or Slytherin. I couldn't care less about the stigma of the snakes, as long as we don't go all grimdark.

Actually...now that I think about it, we're a muggleborn, we don't know if the prejudices against our kind have lifted yet. Yeah, I'm going to go for...
>RAVENCLAW!

>>32428618
>"Ravenclaw."

REPRESENT.

I'd say Slytherin, because if there's one thing every quest protagonist is, it's ambitious.
We don;t have to be an asshole or whatever, but BY GOD our lust for power will make itself know no matter what we do!

>>32428618
Hufflepuff.

>The fuck is a hufflepuff?

>>32428618
>Slytherin
This seems like an AU. With any luck it may actually be the house of cunning.

I would like to point out that so far you guys have mostly chosen what I would call the Hufflepuff and Ravenclaw path choices, though this is entirely up to you, thats just the way you seem to be playing to me.

Also no muggleborns in Slytherin so thats out.

Also confirming that this is an alternate universe so no Harry, no Voldy, and thank god, no Ebony Way

>>32428762
Very well then,

RAVENCLAW!

>>32428762
Aww, no slytherine?

Alright, I'm going with Ravenclaw. We're not going to be able to be humble enough for Hufflepuff. That may not actually be a part of their values but nothing good happens to them so yeah. Also I don't like yellow.

>Ravenclaw

>>32428762
>being overtly gay and psychopathic is Hufflepuff-y

>>32428804
pls leave

>>32428762
Ravenclaw.

hufflepuff
because of course /tg/ wants to be the ravenclaw
but it's been established that we're average as fuuuuck and that's what hufflepuff is for

failing that, slytherin for the lulz

>>32428762
Oh. That is fair.

Ravenclaw then. We do need to have some respect from people, so no HP.

HUFFLEPUFF

>>32428762
Ravenclaw, son.

>>32428828
>Fan of one of the hardest magical disciplines
>Already plotting to rule the school as king of cool
>Average

>>32428762
>no muggleborns in Slytherin
Dagnabbit.
>Hufflepuff
Good hard graft'll mak ye tuff.

Fine, RAVENCLAW, but by god we're going to be so ambitious the everyone will think we got lost on the way to the dungeons when we turn up at our house quarters.

>>32428762
Well then hell yeah, Ravenclaw motherfucker.

>>32428618
>“Now row you wee tossers!”
Wait, why aren't the boats self-rowing?

>>32428824
Why? The wink and the stare already happened.

>>32428883
Because apparently AU Hagrid is a giant dick.

>>32428883
gotta work in PE somehow

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>>32428907
>mfw the wink was my idea

/tg/ is pretty gay sometimes.

>>32428618
Ravenclaw is pretty boss.

Though, /tg/ being /tg/, we won't demonstrate intelligence and wit. We will instead demonstrate dumbassery and lewds.

This is bringing up a good question to me. You say that there's no Potter and no Voldemort and such, so this is just a completely AU or is it the future/present time instead of being set in the 90's?

>>32428940
We'll start our own house, with blackjack and hookers!
The banner will be a Quetzalcoatl!

Hufflepuff reppin'

>>32428940

Not if we immediately put our foot down and resolve not to be fucking morons.

Team Ravenclaw, reporting in. Minimize risks! Play it safe! Know more than everyone else!

>>32428952
We don't know that IC yet.
I expect we'll find out as the story goes on.

>>32428573
In reference to the call them thing, I'm guessing we're pushing the age of cell phones. Even if we don't have one ourselves, there's plenty of landlines in the early days.

Oh, and >>32428618
Ravenclaw

>>32429045
We don't know what year it is?

>>32429051
Electronics don't work in Hogwarts.

Pulse dialing copper wire phones might still work, but mobile phones are a no-go.

>>32429074
Oh fuck, we're the autistic kid looking a the snowglobe.

>>32429101
Nah, nah, you have to get the setting right. We're an abused kid in a cupoard coming up with a story in our head to make the pain stop.

>>32429097
... I'm not talking about if the phones would work or not. Of course they don't.

I was saying that our parents telling us to call them if we got homesick implies we're pushing into the early 21st Century timeline wise.

>>32429044
>Team Ravenclaw, reporting in. Minimize risks! Play it safe! Know more than everyone else!
Operators operatin'

“I like Ravenclaw. I want to be able to prove that I can be smart like that.”

“Me too. You know everyone thinks I'm stupid just cause I can't remember stuff. But I can be smart too I just have to try harder. I've already read the school books a bunch of times and I can remember most of the basic stuff already.” Alex looks proud of himself. “I wanna be in Ravenclaw.”

“Okay, they're ready.” The deputy-headmaster says.

You and the rest of the class file into the Great Hall. The place is massive, and doesn't have any ceiling you can see, it just opens up on the sky, which is as big and ominous as the sorting you are about to experience.

“When I call your name, step up and sit on this stool.” The deputy-headmaster cries out over the crowd. There is a mild silence as the first person steps up and is sorted into Hufflepuff.

Eventually its Alex's turn and he nods to you and steps up to the stool, perhaps the least scared of anyone so far, you can hear him mutter under his breath. “Ravenclaw.”

He steps up and they set that funny hat on his head. Now he starts to visibly squirm in the seat, and the hat seems to crease more and more in it's fabric face. Finally; “Fine then, Ravenclaw!”

Alex looks positively ecstatic as he goes to sit at the Ravenclaw table. And he gives you an awkward wink like the one you gave him on the train.

A few more people, and now its your turn.

More incoming

>>32429165
>operator wizard
>potions focus
Time to operate operationally into the operation zone to begin operation: operate

>>32429270
>hat seems to crease more and more in it's fabric face. Finally; “Fine then, Ravenclaw!”
He browbeated the hat until it stopped caring, didn't he.

>>32429274
You overestimate /tg/'s ability to OPERATION: 0PER8

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>>32429274

>>32429343
>browbeat
>a hat
hehehe

>>32429274
>charms in there as well

We're fucking McGyver with superpowers man.

You stagger up to the stool. You can feel the tears coming again, you're glad when the hat slides down over your face.

“Weak” You hear someone whisper in your ear. “Ambitious but weak. What do you hope to accomplish here I wonder? What do you even know about our world?”

“Ah, yes a mind for potions, but I wonder if you have the hands for it. Ravenclaw isn't the house for proving yourself boy. Its for those who already have it in them.”

“I can do this.” You say back

“Can you? You'd be surprised.”

“What about Alex? If he can do it so can I.”

“That boy is very bright. Much smarter than you. His impetus has made him work on his wits more than I've seen in a student in years.”

“You're caring, and sweet. You cried when you left your parents. And you're crying now. Let me send you where you belong.”

“No, I...

>Push to be in Ravenclaw
>Give up and go into Hufflepuff

>>32429482
>loudly say: "Nigger, try putting me in Hufflepuff I will turn your leathery ass into a pair of boots."

>>32429482
>Push into ravenclaw

Oh, we are not getting a verbal shit-kicking from a FUCKING HAT.

>>32429482
>Push to be in Ravenclaw
Oh like hell are we taking this from a hat!

>>32429482
>Push to be in Ravenclaw

I refuse to be coerced by a hat

>>32429482
>Push to be in Ravenclaw
BEAT THE HAT INTO SUBMISSION!

>Push to be in Ravenclaw.
Aint no hat gonna fuckin call me pussy motherfucker.

>>32429530
This.

Subtly punch the hat in his fat fucking face.

>>32429482
>Push to be in Ravenclaw
"What the fuck did you just fucking say about me, you little bitch?"

>>32429482
>>Give up and go into Hufflepuff

>>32429482

"Put me in Hufflepuff. See what happens you old leathery fuck."

>>32429482
>Hufflepuff
>Hard work, Loyalty
Nah.

Ravenclaw instead.

>>32429482
>Push to be in Ravenclaw

I'm suddenly feeling a bout of hate hate and pyromania coming on.

>>32429482
>>Push to be in Ravenclaw
...ok, I actually wanted Hufflepuff, but I'll be damned if I'm beaten by a sodding hat!
Try to set the hat on fire. With our mind.

>>32429482
He's probably gonna put us in Gryffiindor for standing up to the fucking hat.

>>32429599

*hat hate

>>32429609
This.

Hate-Fueled magic is highly flammable.

>>32429044
Did you miss the early thread? THat ship alrady sailed.

>>32429625
I would be okay with that.

As long as that fucking hat knows we ain't no bitch.

>>32429639

Thirding/fourthing exploring our innate pyromaniac.

>>32429527
This, and in these exact words.

>>32429639
Fifthing this. I wouldn't mind being a fire mage. It'd make our job hunting dangerous creatures much easier.

>>32429678
The correct wording should be "I refuse to be Brwobeat by a HAT!"

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>>32429270
>he gives you an awkward wink like the one you gave him on the train.
Has there ever been a shota yaoi quest? Are we about to go where no quest has gone before?

>>32429482
>Push to be in Ravenclaw
You're doing a very poor job of making Hurfledurf sound attractive right now, Mr Hat.

>>32429625
>bravery
>standing up to a hat
Man, if that's all it takes EVERYONE is a Gryffindor.

>>32429724
Hey, a talking hat with a bad attitude that can read your mind is probably pretty intimidating to a kid. Hell, I'd probably be intimidated by that if I didn't know it was coming.

>>32429724
>standing up to an unbelievably ancient magical artifact known to have mental powers
>inb4 it drops Godric's sword through our skull

>>32429708
I'd rather not, but if it ends up happening then I guess it ends up happening. That's just like I'd rather not this turn into a harem quest. I hate those, we're eleven...we don't need to worry about girls right now.

>>32429788
I'd get a chuckle out of that, to be honest.

>>32429482
>Push to be in Ravenclaw

>>32429757
>can read your mind
Start imagining hat murder. Hundreds, nay thousands, of hats being torn apart by dogs, run over by trucks, set on fire, boiled in oil, etc...

>>32429708
I most certainly hope so.

>>32429813
Just imagine your brain being made of chainsaws, made of fire, made of rocket launchers.

Should scare the hat nice and good.

>>32429813
Fuck that.

Imagine thousands of hats participating in Quest Thread General and reading loli smut waifu faggotry.

>>32429813
Have you ever read anything by jBern I think that's who it is anyways That hat is a nasty motherfucker, he's probably used to that shit.

>>32429800
That's the issue with every HP fic I've ever seen. No one wants to act like an actual eleven year old.

>>32429852
It's been a long fucking time since I was 11.

I kind of forgot how.

>>32429852
It's perfectly in character for an 11-year old to get pissy when a hat insults him.

“To hell with you. I refuse to be coerced by a hat. I'm going to be in Ravenclaw, and I'm going to make my house proud.”

“Of course you will.” You're not sure how something smiles telepathicly but the hat does it anyway.

“Ravenclaw!” The hat yells out.

You stand up, swing the hat off your head and slam it onto the stool as hard as you can.

“Ow!” the hat says as you run down to your table and sit down next to Alex.

“Good job!” Alex says. “What did the hat say?”

You shoot a look back at the hat, and you can swear you see fear in its clothy eyes. “Not important. Anyway good job man!” You clap Alex on the back.

“Thanks.”

You look back up to see the boy you collided with, Linus Parkinson, get sorted into Hufflepuff. He looks like hes about to faint when he gets off the stool and trudges over to the Hufflepuff table. Better him than you.

You and Alex enjoy the feast before being led up to your new rooms, high up in a tower. As you and your new room mates lay down for bed you call out. “Good night Alex.”

“Good night, um, uh... good night.”

“You forgot my name didn't you?”

“...No.”

>>32429852
If that's the case then screw it, we should just skip the whole hogwarts thing in a quest some day and just start out in the magical world. It'd probably be a lot more interesting in the long run.

Not to say I'm not liking this quest, cause I am, I'm just afraid of what it can turn into.

>>32429884
How is Alex a Ravenclaw, again?

>>32429881
And? We were talking about waifus.

I promise that until at least 3rd or 4th year all efforts at romance will be interpreted as awkward winking.

>>32429921
Shane is having trouble figuring that out himself at the moment.

>>32429921
Despite everything everybody always says, the Sorting Hat almost always puts you where you actually want to go. It's why so many purebloods are in slytherin, they think they should go to to slytherin so they want to go to slytherin, so they do go to slytherin.

>>32429960
>I promise that until at least 3rd or 4th year all efforts at romance will be interpreted as awkward winking

Well. We gave it an honest shot. But never give up men.

>>32429921
He's really smart and extremely studious. He just has ASS for memory.

>>32429884
>Of course you didn't. If you did, I'd have to punish you.

>>32429998
>>32429960
People are going to think we have an eye infection.

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>>32429921
He didn't believe the Hat's lies

>>32429921
He's trying to powerlevel and pump his Int stat, but in return he's taking a penalty to knowledge rolls.

>>32429960
Maximum shitstorm incoming.

>>32429852
It's perfectly in character for an 11 years old to start getting interested in the "things of life". At that age most kids have already started masturbating (although only a minority has had the patience to do it "to completion").

Just because Harry Potter has the sex drive of a pebble doesn't mean we do.

>>32429998
>>32429960
It's entirely possible for an eleven-year old to be having sexual thoughts/urges. Shane could easily be having new feeling about other boys and be desperately trying to cope with them by emulating figures from pop culture.

We just need to lay the ground-work now so that Shane is firmly set on the yaoi path by the fourth year. Maybe we could even engineer some sort of potion accident that stunts his growth.

>>32430041
That's kind of gay tho.

>>32430066
That's even more gay. Stop that.

>>32430066
How about not? I for one don't want to turn this into Yaoi Wizard Quest.

>>32430000
He's gonna end up as a mad scientist, I can see it now.

"Hey, uh.... guy! Hand me that thingamajig and put that whatsit into the whazahuh, I need to get this transdimensional superportal online by tomorrow!"

>>32429960
(>>32430041 here)
Welp, at least it's still more than what Harry got up to!

>>32430066
I don't like the cut of your jib.

We need to be a sexy qt trap dominatrix.

>>32430093
You got a problem with homos, faggot?
>>32430100
It's too late. The whole school has seen our future boy toy winking at us.

>>32430093
What's wrong with being gay?

Professor Albus Percival Wulfric Brian Dumbledore himself is gay. You're not insulting Albus Dumbledore, are you?

>>32430117
How about we be the power-bottom to our trap Alexis?

>>32430117
>>32430150
>>32430163
What the fuck just happened to this thread?

>>32430150
Dumbledore was a worthless faggot. At least pick a cool homo. Like Freddy Mercury.

>>32430163
Nigga, we ain't even on similar planes of existence.

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>>32430066
Please no. Seriously, please don't try to push this.
I might okay being a trap, but would be more interested in it if we weren't pursuing gay stuff and were really frustrated about our girly stuff. Not going to push this though.

>>32430184
/tg/ with no OP happened.

Rolled 19

>>32430163
Ignoring the attempt to make our MC gay, would crossdressing even work in a magic school?

>>32430117
Damn son, that's concentrated homosexuality right there.
>>32430135
Yes, faggots can't stop thinking with their dicks, and everything they do becomes about their sexual fetishes.
Sexual fetishes a shit.

>>32430150
Albus Dumbledore's homosexuality is not the pure concentrated faggotry of the past few posts.

>>32430184
Pederastic faggot boylovers inserting their magical realm into things.
Why, what does it look like?

>>32430210
The pushing has already begun. I'm just hoping the OP goes with the only response to the last update.

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>>32430041
>>32430066
Why. Just why.

>>32430150
Who's that?
Superior AU-fu.

>>32430218
hmm, looks like we'll need a /y/ equivalent to /u/boats soon.

>>32430135
>too late
Wink at EVERYONE! No one will assign significance to the wink if we're constantly doing it to everyone at the slightest provocation.

>>32430150
Dumbledore was a senile madman obsessed with prophesy. He also boned the WRONG DUDE.

>>32430213
Fuck, interesting...
Although doesn't that mean that EVERYONE is crossdressing ALL THE TIME?

>>32430218
To be entirely honest?

I have no fucking idea what it looks like.

>>32430264
>Although doesn't that mean that EVERYONE is crossdressing ALL THE TIME?
Well, since the robes are the uniform, I'd say no.

>>32430218
>mfw people take this seriously

Maybe if you didn't start calling people faggots, this woulda died out. Now it's going to ruin the thread.

Fuck you and your homophobic reflexes.

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>>32430240
Well, this went to shit fast...

>>32430218
>Pederastic faggot boylovers inserting their magical realm into things.
>Why, what does it look like?

>implying there's anything sexual about my desire to force every reader of this quest to picture Shane dominating Alexis with his ass

I'd go ahead and explain why I think it would be fun to have a gay MC, but this bit here:
> faggots can't stop thinking with their dicks, and everything they do becomes about their sexual fetishes.
makes me think that reasoning won't have much effect on you.

>>32430252
As far as the first post goes, I would post that because it's true.

It's not about magical realms bullshit, it's about rectifying inacurate information. Namely, telling people who pretend 11 years olds don't have a sexuality that they are wrong.

You've been 11, Anon. There's no need to pretend otherwise.

DEAR GOD WHAT IS HAPPENING?
This shit goes down so frequently now that people're going to have to start running eunuchs-only quests.

>>32430289
>Now it's going to ruin the thread.
How do you mean? I find the idea of an innocent quest about Shane's struggles to fit in with a house far too smart for him going on while we all argue vehemently about dicks in the background to be quite humorous.

>>32430259
/y/atch?

>>32430305

>I'd go ahead and explain why I think it would be fun to have a gay MC, but this bit here:
>> faggots can't stop thinking with their dicks, and everything they do becomes about their sexual fetishes.
>makes me think that reasoning won't have much effect on you.

This.

Putting all the shota dominatrix bullshit aside, actually having a gay MC would be fun.

>>32430337
>implying the namefag isn't still 11

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Well, uh. No. This is not, nor at any point will become Blatant Fetish Quest. Just no. If you want to make Shane gay, that's fine, but this quest will not contain any description of sexytimes greater than;
>you did it

That being said this quest is based on this system http://1d4chan.org/wiki/Harry_Potter_and_the_Tabletop_RPG which I wrote a few months back with the help of /tg/. This quest will be as much a playtest as a game, so be ready for things to change and for things to go horribly wrong.

Here is Shane's character sheet so far.

>>32430381
...Did you mean /y/achts?

>>32430384

If it were handled responsibly and with respect, maybe. But do you trust /tg/ to do that? I don't.

>>32430400
>but this quest will not contain any description of sexytimes greater than;
>>you did it

That's cool. We can still be a qt dom trap right?

>>32430400
Oh hey, we're kinda intelligent.

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>Shota yaoi
>Yaoi
>Harem
>11 year old being a player
>Stupid sexual shit instead of just having a fun quest.

>>32430368
>>32430289
Relax, guys. The thread isn't ruined. We just need to adjust a few small details (I mean, gay or straight, it's probably not going to influence the Quest that much, although it does have its importance as far a building MC's character goes).

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>Pederasty
Wait whats going on?

>>32430400
Thank you, OP. You are a gentleman and a scholar.

>>32430400

Why is there a power rating? HP magic depends entirely upon knowledge and skill. Despite fanon, all wizards are equally powerful.

>>32430400
>this quest will not contain any description of sexytimes greater than;
>>you did it
I'm pro-shota dom, and I prefer it this way. I like the idea of Shane the Chute Shanker, but I don't actually want to read the lurid details.

>>32430421
Now >>32426461

>>32430410
Can't really know until we give it a try. And we can ignore the assholes.

Ignoring the assholes is a thing 90% of the audience does all day erryday on 4Chan, anyway.

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>Saw this quest in the archives.
>Read all the story posts.
>Seems like a good quest so far
>Decided to start reading the comments to see what people are talking about.

>>32430465
It's our libido stat. Obviously, we need to start grinding.
>>32430435
>Stupid sexual shit instead of just having a fun quest.
I can do both, but none of the anti-yaoi crowd seem to be able to.

>>32430492
Yeah, this one got really crazy for a first thread. Usually, you need to get past the first 5 or so for this level of faggotry.

>>32430511
It all started with a wink.

>>32430511
It's no uncommon for fledgling quests to get some obviously OOC actions (like the death stare and the wink), but usually the QM just ignores it.

>>32430506
>I can do both, but none of the anti-yaoi crowd seem to be able to.

Personally, I'm just against the guys trying to turn an 11 year old into super-/d/-sexual mode. I'd be fine with a gay protagonist.

>>32430534
You know what, can we get back to the creepy stalker/serial killer thing?

At least that wasn't... this.

>>32430534
I think it started with the whole 'psychopathic staring contest' thing we did.

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>Come in to see if this is a quest that would be cool.
>Actually really liking things quite a bit.
>Really liking our responses to the hat.
>Other kid winks at us.
>Go off to get some dinner.
>Come back to see all hell has broken loose.

>>32430210
You know how Ants will swarm Peanut Butter if you leave it lying around?
Well, here, Ants are evangelical homosexuals with an agenda of "turning" young boys.
And Peanut Butter is a man who is frustrated about girly attributes.
Within minutes, they will find it, and they will zerg rush it.

I think "heterosexual male struggles with gender identity" might be an interesting character development arc.
But that arc is not possible. /tg/ will NOT let the character in question remain heterosexual.

>>32430213
Yes, though I don't know what the motive would be.

>>32430289
What happens if one guy is being a faggot, and the other guy is being antagonistic, for the PURPOSE of making the faggot aggressively gay up the place?
It's like a Trolling Tag Team.

>>32430305
"Reasoning". For homosexuality. Reasoning does not work that way.

>>32430368
I think the shitstorm is intentional. It attracts interest and bumps the thread.
Not positive interest, but interest nonetheless.

>>32430384
Having a gay MC will fuel shota dominatrix crossdressing bullshit.
4chan cannot play a Gay man straight.

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>>32430534
>be me
>never really interested in Harry Potter
>Sees quest
>Thinks intrest?
>3 HOURS LATER
Why jeebus why?

>>32430410
We're playing an 11 year old boy and it took 10 minutes for people to start throwing their fetishes at it. If I continue following this quest I will do it under the assumption that the MC is asexual.

Because playing a eunuch is the only way we /tg/ can avoid disgusting fetishes involving 11 year olds.

>>32430547
I'll be honest that I'd rather not have the protagonist be gay, but I'm not one of the people screaming about it. I'd rather him be bi than gay, but that's just me.
Of course doing that would bring in the harem...

>>32430604
You know what I vote?

The MC doesn't have any sexual organs. whatsoever. period.

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>>32430559
>implying we can't have both

>>32430568
>play a gay man straight

>>32430547
>>32430485
>>32430442
>>32430410
>>32430384

OP, disregarding the /d/ bullshit, I think you might want to brace yourself, as the MC might very well turn out to be gay.

I hope it's alright with you. Shouldn't make much of a difference. Instead of having a scene where we're being abumbling idiot with the cute girl, we'll be a bumbling idiot with a cute boy.

>>32430615
>Shane literally bursts in thread three
>urine everywhere
>bad end

>>32430657
There are no words to describe the depth of my hatred of you.

>>32430638
And then all not fetish people leave

The next morning you wake up to a bustle of people getting ready for class. You get ready as well, and are quickly off, down to breakfast. You guess it was too much to hope you would get to have a feast for every meal, but you're pretty sure even magic couldn't counteract that much fat.

You get your schedule and are quickly off to your first lesson of the day, Charms.

The first year Ravenclaws and Gryffindors are led to the 5th floor classroom. Inside is an almost impossibly thin man with a long craning neck. He has balding gray hair and a patch of bright blonde hair in the middle of his head that looks really unnatural.

“Good morning. I am Professor Cecil, your charms instructor. As this is your first class we will start out very simply. Today you will begin learning the Wand Lighting Charm.”

Professor Cecil goes over the basics of casting spells a few times, and then the spell itself. Finally you're ready, your first spell.

You raise your wand. “Lumos.”

>Roll 1d10

>>32430604
I don't have a problem with it. I have a problem with everybody suddenly assuming he's going directly into Butt Pirate of the Carribean when he's in a coed school and still doesn't know what his actual attractions are and why he doesn't feel the same way about girls as his friends do.

Rolled 4

>>32430697
Here we go!

Rolled 6

>>32430697

Rolled 7

>>32430697

Rolled 10

Rollin'

Rolled 9

>>32430657
>Implying it's not stored
>And stored
>And stored
>Two weeks later - mitosis

>>32430697

Rolled 6

>>32430697

>>32430638
>the MC might very well turn out to be gay
I don't think there are very many anons that want to play a gay character. The ones that do are just extremely loud.

Considering he's 11. I would rather play someone that's Asexual or eunuch.

Rolled 10

>>32430697
Did we set it to Wumbo?

I just wanted a quest where we become a wizard doing wizard things, why do you guys have to ruin that by wanting to stick your little boy dick into other little boys?

>>32430684
Why would they? Just because MC is gay doesn't mean the Quest is gonna degenerate into /d/ bullshit.

Actually we just had the proof that we didn't actually need the MC to be gay for the /d/ bullshit to slither in (hu hu, see what I did there?). It doesn't actually make a difference to the pervs.

Rolled 7

>>32430697
What're the dice mechanics for the quest? Best of X? Number of successes out of X? Something else?

>You get ready as well, and are quickly off, down to breakfast. You guess it was too much to hope you would get to have a feast for every meal, but you're pretty sure even magic couldn't counteract that much fat.
You didn't actually describe breakfast, so this is awkward.

While we're on the subject, and this is in no way a desperate attempt to stop talking about bequeathing our dick unto other children, what are the dice rule here?
First roll, best of 3, etc.

>>32430745
>Considering he's 11. I would rather play someone that's Asexual or eunuch.
>I would rather an even more rare sexual preference or him literally have his balls chopped off than be gay.
>>32430766
>why do you guys have to ruin that by wanting to stick your little boy dick into other little boys?
Stop self-inserting.

4chan cannot handle homosexuality without blatant fetishes.

>>32430795
always assume best of 3 unless directly stated otherwise

>>32430848
4chan cannot handle ANY sexuality without blatant fetishes.

>>32430848
Even if it was a ton of sex even BFQ was more nuanced.

>>32430848
>homosexuality not a blatant fetishes when dealing with children

>>32430848
Bull-shit. The QM has ultimate authority over what Shane the Schlong Shiner does, and he can prevent the crazy shit from getting in.

>>32430831
Main problem is the zerg rushing fetish freaks.

>>32430766
It's 4chan.

>>32430885
I wonder if 4chan would be able to handle Non-sexuality, or if someone would get a raging boner about that, too.

Rolled 6

>>32430896
...

Schlong Shiner?

>>32430400
Having looked through the linked rules, the character sheet is missing two perks as well as the bonus for the Potions mastery.

We also haven't decided on our wand yet.

>>32430896
>not Shlane the Schlong Shliner

>>32430831
Being Asexual is the only way to stop you people from inserting your weird fetishes where they don't belong. Seriously he's 11.

And for the people saying that /tg/ can restrain your /d/ or be mature about well anything.You're wrong.

>>32430891
>Gays spontaneously form from thin air, aged 18.

>>32430896
The fact that you're still here trying to push your yaoi fetishism onto us is proof that he cannot prevent it.

>>32430940
We're still a year or two out from when he'll actually notice. At this point it's just shota fetishists.

>>32430931
Or the QM can simply veto any shit he doesn't want in the quest.

Also
>implying you weren't a pervert at 11

>>32430931
>implying the crazy gay shit isn't a response to people freaking out as soon as the MC went gay.

>Seriously he's 11.
A lot of people start masturbating at that age.

>>32430909
Someone would. I have infinite faith in 4chan's capacity to fuck things up.
Yay, us.

>>32430931
>Seriously he's 11.
See >>32430940

OP, I'm sorry your thread is turning into kind of a shitstorm, but some people around here seem to be in serious need of actual sex education.

>>32430983
I have infinite faith in namefags capacity to be retarded. Yay you.

>>32430795
>>32430819
I'm going to use the first roll. I figure using only d10s it shouldn't be a huge issue... right?

>>32430927
I was thinking of giving out the perks based on roleplay. I did space the bonus and holy fuck I forgot the wand.

>Roll 3d10 for wand.

The tip of your wand flares with light. Success. You feel proud, you feel accomplished, and most of all you feel like a Ravenclaw. You look around and notice that everyone else also did it. You feel less proud.

>Add Lumos/Nox to your spellbook

You pack up your things and head to your next class. Your schedule says Transfigurations.

You head up a few more floors, and over into another wing of the castle. The Transfigurations hall is much bigger and more open than the Charms room, and the sunlight is filtering in through the windows.

The teacher here is a man with wide shoulders but very thin hips and a bulbous nose. He looks funny actually. Until his eyes fall on you, then you stop smiling.

He limps to the podium as the class enters and begins a rant on the dangers of Transfigurations. By the end most of the class looks ready to bolt for the door.

“Next time we'll try some actual magic, and see who ends up having to be carted home as a vegetable.” He says.

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>OP just wanted to play test his HP homebrew...

>>32430940
Gays are converted from otherwise normal children by acts of molestation, sexual harassment, and "reasoning".

>>32430973
I started nabbing Playboys and whackin' off at ten. It's not even a stretch to imagine that Shane is aware that he's started to feel funny when he sees Colin Mochrie on TV.

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>>32430983
>namefag
>complaining about 4chan

Rolled 6, 6, 7 = 19

>>32431008
Rollin' for wand

>>32431013
>Gays are converted from otherwise normal children by acts of molestation, sexual harassment, and "reasoning".
Moron detected.

Rolled 1, 1, 6 = 8

>>32431008
prolly meant 3 anons roll 1d10

>>32431013
>this is what some people actually believe

>>32431013
Unless they are Greek in which case it is the default setting

Rolled 8, 5, 1 = 14

>>32431008

>>32431017
That's still a very far cry from what the, well, let's just go with it, /y/achts are trying to push through.

Rolled 2, 1, 9 = 12

Rolling for wand

>>32431008
Do we get a familiar?

>>32431008

ok d10, first roll matters. We want high or low?

>>32431059
Probably an owl.

>>32431025
6
>>32431032
1
>>32431044
8

Your wand is Hawthorn and Unicorn Hair, 12". Good for Wards and Patronuses.

>>32431059
Not in the traditional sense, but if you all want a cat or something you can do that.

>>32431103
You want high.

>>32431142
3d10 is different than 3 1d10s

>>32431142
Abjuration motha fucka!

>>32431013
No, they form from thin air, Anon. Stop being desingenuous.

>>32431142
Alright, QM if you want three people to roll 1d10 each you need to say that, not 'Roll 3d10'

There are certain, let's say grammatical standards, that quests use to keep confusion to a minimum. That includes saying before hand whether you're taking the first 3 or just the first 1, especially if you're changing that between posts.

>>32431142
Can we have a Mallard duck? Those green heads look really cool.