>>32353005
>Maybe the other goblin chiefs will have ideas of how to proceed?

>>32353005
>Let's talk to the Matriarch! You've got a lot more political clout now, so you don't have to be as scared of her.
What could go wrong?

>>32353005
>>Let's talk to the Matriarch! You've got a lot more political clout now, so you don't have to be as scared of her.

>>32353005
>Maybe the other goblin chiefs will have ideas of how to proceed?

>>32353005

>>Let's talk to the Matriarch! You've got a lot more political clout now, so you don't have to be as scared of her.

I'm sure that the dens won't turn to poop while we're gone for 10 minutes.

hey dark elf lady

writing

is dark elf lady okay with Allonces? I thought dark elves didn't like elves

Or is Allonces an honorary dark elf by this point

>>32353341
Nobody is okay with Allonces anon, but she still manages to get by somehow. Must be magic.

>>32353475
At least one of the dark elf boys seems very ok with Alloncces

>>32353475

What about Alfonse?

>>32353523
Probably because he gets to lead her around on a leash for a change.

>>32353005
We should set up a light cave so we can deal with clan junk while raiding later on.

Ahhh! You can't avoid it any longer. Guess you'll go to the matriarch, cause she won't stop asking. You head into the now cleaned out Fouldrinker caves and get your adventure party together.

"Shaaaax, please can you just make a giant cave to your sweet castle? I don't want to sleep in a goblin cave anymore," Allonces is greeting you with a familiar complaint, and you ignore her as always.

Sitri shrugs, "I don't see what the big deal is. Shax's new assistant has gotten some sort of maid crew formed, and they've kept the place fairly clean." She has, actually. She's very ambitious. You're worried for your title. Especially the way she treats you.

"But the castle has a bed! An actual bed!" You've never slept in a bed so you don't know what the big deal is.

It doesn't take long for your assistant to catch up, "Oh, you're leaving? I hope it is to see the Matriarch."

"Jeez, Seere! I'm heading out there right now. Gimme a break!" You don't get whiny often, but you're definitely feeling a good whine coming on. "Seriously! I'm tryin' to be responsible, so just cut me some slack." Can you fire people? Is that something you can do?

Seere just follows along, having shut up for now, as you head out into the underworld army's camp proper. You haven't ever been to the dark elf temples, though apparently Allonces has, as she is telling you all about the place. Before too long, you find yourself in front of the giant complex that houses the Matriarch, the mastermind behind the invasion of the surface!

>Just walk on in. She's expecting you, and goblins aren't expected to be polite!
>Talk to the doorman, wait for an invitation.

>>32353568
That reminds me of the time that I had the effeminate boytoy of the drow matriach my players were scheming against turn out to be an archmage. who they then tried to turn against his "mistress." Ah, good times.

>>32353691
>Just walk on in. She's expecting you, and goblins aren't expected to be polite!

>>32353691
>Just walk on in. She's expecting you, and goblins aren't expected to be polite!
Shax is wearing big boots today!

>>32353748

She's always had big comfy boots!

>>32353691
>>Just walk on in. She's expecting you, and goblins aren't expected to be polite!
She called so we came. This is simple stuff.

>>32353691

Walk in! You are a big boss now and they don't stop for little people

Gotta be confident! Swag it in!

Writing.

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>>32353005
YO.
Sorry, I'm busy with my own project today. Just going to dump this before it becomes completely outdated

The guard at the door turns to look at you and your entourage and you just walk right by him. You're the chief, right? You gotta start acting important for people to think you're important. That's just how authority is! The interior of this mansion is very nice though. All smooth obsidian, giant golden spider reliefs, swords and portraits everywhere. The term you'd use would be pretty.

Sitri whistles appreciatively, "Lavish." Oh, that is a better term. Guess that is why she's a bard.

A well dressed older looking dark elf man approaches you, "Ah, you miss be the young Shax. A pleasure. The mistress has been expecting your visit for some time. If you head this way to the dining room, I can begin serving refreshments while she prepares herself..." Well, you've never turned down refreshments in your life.

There is so much jewelry and gold laying around that you're having to stop yourself from instinctively looting the place. Bearbreath looks completely out of place in here, and his cat was getting all sorts of nasty looks from the servant. Before too long you reach a large dining room, and the servant motions at some seats.

A parade of appetizers come across your place, and you dig in greedily. It's all delicious! Allonces keeps flirting with the servants, like some sort of IDIOT, and Sitri seems to be holding off on eating that much food. Before too long, the Matriarch enters.

A slinky purple dress clings to her, and she has a small crystal diadem sitting in her pure white hair. Saying nothing, she sits down at the head of the table and look at you, "How nice of you to join me, Shax. I've been asking for you for quite some time. I see you've been busy, so I can understand the delay."

You mouth is full as you stare at her and nod. She's very scary. It's probably the two giant undead bodyguard behind her and the two demonic looking creatures behind her giving that impression.

>Cut to the chase. What's she want?
>Start talking yourself up. Brag!

>>32354203
>Cut to the chase. What's she want?

>>32354184

you're the coolest

>>32354203
>Cut to the chase. What's she want?

>>32354203
>Cut to the chase. What's she want?

>>32354203
>Cut to the chase. What's she want?
What we gotta kill/raid? If she wants us for something else, she's clearly picked the wrong humanoid for the job.

>>32354184
Your drawings are getting better anon.

>>32354328
Goblinoid.

you don't have time for no jib jab! writing.

So what should we do about the other goblin tribes? We gotta stabilize that before we leave.

Unless we're going to take them all with us for a proper WAAAGH!

>>32354433
Talk to them? We should be able to sort stuff out then.

Hey Chief, what's the possibility of a little side quest to see what everyone's axe-wielding rival is doing?

>>32354433
Establish some kind of council of representatives for each tribe so we can figure out the stuff they want easier.

>>32354184
I love that anon. Seriously, i love this style.

>>32354461
I'd like this.

I miss axe-girl.

>>32354461
Side quest? You guys are the ones who turned down that army position.

>>32354537
We did that so that we could do more sidequests, obviously

>>32354433
Talk to the goblin girl servant and auntie about what to do with them.

>>32354537
That's not a side-quest, that's main plot stuff.

We wouldn't be able to side-quest if we did that.

>>32354461
>>32354499
I dont.
>>32354487
Thats probably the chief anon

>>32354537
Let's see how goblin chief works out before trying to be head of the army.

>>32354577
Well, it's just that the army is still marching on the capital without us. And axe girl is probably going to be there. Getting killed. While we're not there.

You're right, we should be sidequesting to her side immediately.

>>32354623
Nah, her bodyguard knows what's what. He found some bullshit excuse to get her out of there before shit hit the fan. He has to deal with her bitching about not defending the capital but at least she's alive.

>>32354487
>>32354566
We could make Auntie our representative while we're out raiding.

>>32354579
The Chief is a representative of the Goblins as a whole, not the individual representative of each clan.

>>32354758

goblins don't really have an official ranking system

people are referred to as boss chief head honcho or whatever nearly interchangeably

>>32354790
How did Chief Fouldrinker keep the clans from killing each other?

Did he really just send all the warriors off to the frontlines while keeping his own warriors at home running his Junta?

>>32354817
He also sent a lot of Goblins to be sacrificed to the Hungerer.

You gulp down a mouthful of food, and look at her. "Hey, I appreciate the food and all, but I'm pretty busy! What did you ask me over here for?"

The matriarch finds this comment highly amusing, "You're busy? Indeed. I'll keep it simple then. I need you to stop raiding the Plains of Manderlay."

It'd be nice to say that you stopped eating long enough to look at her, but you defintely kept wolfing down food. "Oh? Isn't raiding, like, my job?" You're pretty sure it is.

"You've got a lot of jobs now, little goblin." The drow woman nets her fingers together and gives you an appraising glare, "But more importantly, the army's efforts everywhere but the Manderlay Plains are faltering. Significantly. The alliance is losing support from all sides. We've lost several orc clans. Your predecessor was making plans to close off the goblin caves. Nevith is still supplying kobolds en masse, but she's up to trickery. To be blunt: I need a strong force to take out the fortress of Kar'lathiel in Valenwood. If we can seize the Forest Heart, the tide in Valenwood will shift significantly, giving us plentiful resources for the other theatres." She takes a long sip of some sorta red liquid.

This all means something to someone, you're sure.

Eying you over the tip of her glass, the matriarch continues after a brief respite, "That's why I want you to lead your band of misfits against the fortress while the main army engages theirs in the field." You were pretty sure it was gonna be something like this.

"What's in it for me? I don't gotta help you out, I'm pretty sure." The last chief was about to turn his back on this alliance. That isn't a good sign. "Besides, what can you do with the Forest Heart to make everyone wanna stay?"

The matriarch shrugs, "The Forest Heart is an extremely powerful focus of magical energy. Anyone with a proper idea of what to do there could work wonders. It's how the forces in Valenwood have been holding us off for so long. A near endless supply of magical troops and enchantments that harass our forces." You're pretty glad you didn't pick Valenwood forever ago. "As for what you will receive, well. A drow matriarch is a powerful political ally. I could also arrange a proper embassy in your caverns, as well as several troops for your army."

>Agree!
>Disagree!
>Ask her some questions (you figure out what to ask her)

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>>32354977
>Ask her some questions (you figure out what to ask her)
Tell me more about Valenwood. What kind of forces should we expect there?

But in general:
>Agree!
If this is where we are needed, then this is where we must go. Even if it means less Axe girl.

>>32354977
>A drow matriarch is a powerful political ally. I could also arrange a proper embassy in your caverns, as well as several troops for your army.
Something tells me Shax doesn't give a fuck about any of those things that much.

Anyway, I say we do it. I kind of like the idea of making the drow and dragon lady fighting over our loyalty and trying to one up each other while we keep amassing our own power.

>>32354977
>Ask her some questions (you figure out what to ask her)
Wont that piss off the dragon lady?

>>32355009
>it means less Axe girl
So naïve.

>>32354977
Better plan:
1. Make entrance to the our castle in the goblin caves
2. Sneaky sneaky into the fortress
3. Make another entrance
4. March army into fortress through the goblin caves for the win.

>>32355036
Yeah, ask this.

>>32355052
Giant Bow Girl is probably protecting Valenwood.

Which means another elf to corrupt!

>>32354977

Tell her that the dragon lady is kind of your boss lady and wouldn't she be mad if You did that?

>>32355036
We already did piss her off by disagreeing with her army plan.

>>32355105
This. If we refuse this mission too then both bosses are unhappy with us.

>>32354977
>Agree!

>>32355061
10/10 master strategy.

>>32355086
I don't think we really corrupted allonce.
>>32355105
More reason to ask.
>>32355094
This lady is also kind of our boss.

>>32355126
I'm kind of okay with that. Or doing what this post says >>32355035

>>32354977
What trickery is dragon lady up to?

I'm pretty okay with this plan cause it means we're likely to meet Allonce's parents.

>>32354977
>>Disagree!


We should, like, gather all of the goblins into our light realm and then close them off

>>32355140
If anything Allonce is corrupting Shax

>>32355172
I don't think they'd like that too much. Too bright and wet.

>>32355180
How so?

>>32354977
>>Agree!
But it'll take us some time to get our guys together since we have to go get them from the plains first and junk. We insist on it!

Really, we can just drop caves all over the place so we can do everything at once. Totally.

>>32355180
Or being highly irritating at least.

>>32354977
>Agree!

>>32355207

She's far too lewd for her little goblin mind to comprehend

A pretty hesitant agreement? I guess. Writing!

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>>32355229
No. It's not like Shax has started to fantasize about holding hands with a special someone or kiss him on the forehead.

>>32354977
She basically just wants to to raid some fortress instead of the plains we've been raiding. It would make for a nice change of pace. Besides, maybe we could make some forest-turtles with that heart thingy.

I also like th plan proposed in >>32355061

>>32355251
Yeah, thats the corruption setting in.

>>32355248
Damn
We should have tried to see what loot she could give us
Drows have tons of cool loot
Not as much as dragons though

>>32355313
Maybe she'll give us a cute spider hat or something? Spiders aren't as cute as lizards, but they're pretty okay.

Isn't this front where that drow dude who trained our troops way back when went? Man, this looks better and better.

I'll miss axe girl.

>>32355398
I wont.

>>32355445
I will.

Axe girl was a nice foil to Shax.

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>>32355445
Are you the same anon who has to post "can we kill her now" every time Allonces does something?

>>32355466
She showed up twice. Hardly enough to be a foil.
>>32355485
No I just don't like allonce. But she has been doing a good job so far apart from that fuck up with the sword saint.

>>32355485
That would be me. I don't do it every time though. Just when i feel like killing her.

>>32355398
I wouldn't be surprised if she finds a way to show up anyway.

>>32355622
She's a rival.

It's practically her job to conveniently show up where we go..

>>32355622
>Meanwhile, at the goody two shoes palace
>"Axe girl, Valenwood is managing to hold out but I expect a renewed offensive soon, go help them out"

>>32355654
I thought axe girl didn't take orders from nobody, she's a free spirit who goes where the winds of justice take her.

>>32355720
Maybe they bribed her with a pony.

>>32355720
She is from some noble family. Presumably she answers to her king.

Sorry for the slow update speed tonight, I'm dealing with various things. They should all be cleared up and I can get a roll on things now!

>>32355761
It's okay, dying must have been pretty hard!

>>32355828
It can screw up anybody's schedule, really.

You think about it for a moment. You've missed the boys! It'd be nice to take them on a right proper raid. Besides, this lady is kind of your boss sort of. "Okay, but what's in that fortress that makes it so tough? Can't you just send a bunch of sneaky dark elf assassins in there?"

"Assassins are valuable resources, and when enough have failed you turn to alternative means. Those means being you and your multitalented coalition of rejects." That's kind of a mean way to describe it, but its not thaaaat incorrect. "You get me the Forest Heart, I get us a big win on the surface. With a nice staging ground, we can start to subjugate the rest of the Valenwood territories, and have a real presence for years to come."

That's neat and all but you don't really care.

You finish up your meal, "So when do you want me to go? I still gotta handle some things out here."

"As soon as possible. Each day is countless resources wasted as far as I'm concerned." So she wants you to leave pretty quick. She gives you a form detailing the forces you can expect out there. Treefolk, elves, halflings, small amounts of adventurers, and several paladin orders. A real forces of good kinda place. You excuse yourself from the meeting and get out of there. You assistant took notes, apparently? You're not sure what good they'll be but you thank her out of fear.

"She seemed nice," Allonces says. Everyone ignores her.

What's the plan now?

>Get to the goblin caves, set things straight there. Maybe make an entrance to your plane?
>Get to the surface and get your boys to Valenwood!

>>32355861
>Get to the goblin caves, set things straight there. Maybe make an entrance to your plane?
We gotta tells all those Gloomy Gus in Goblinland that we will break them.

>>32355861
>Get to the goblin caves, set things straight there. Maybe make an entrance to your plane?
Make sure they know who is running the show.

>>32355861
>>Get to the goblin caves, set things straight there. Maybe make an entrance to your plane?

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>>32355861
>Get to the goblin caves, set things straight there. Maybe make an entrance to your plane?

We're the chief and everybody better remember it while we're out krumping things!

Maybe those Fouldrinker boys better come with us, unless they've forgotten how to fight.

>>32355861
>>Get to the goblin caves, set things straight there.
Don't make an entrance. We don't want random filthy goblins coming into our place.

>>32355861
>>Get to the goblin caves, set things straight there. Maybe make an entrance to your plane?

Entrances are good.

>>32355925
Speak for yourself. Make our lizard-servants and that snooty butler pick up after goblins.

>>32355925
That's what the guardian laser turtles are for.

>>32355925
>We don't want random filthy goblins coming into our place.
In what way are they worse than us?

>>32355861
>>Get to the goblin caves, set things straight there. Maybe make an entrance to your plane?

I'm fine if we just make things stable enough to last till we can get our boys to Valenwood and set up an entrance there too so we can check back.

Ooh! We should introduce our assistant to our plane helper people.

I like how dark elf lady wants a staging ground and we're sitting on an awesome one without telling anyone about it.

Makes being ordered around palatable.

>>32355973
They ain't us. That's what's wrong with them.

>>32355958
Oh shit that reminds me. Chief where is our sneaky lizard robot that we summoned last time?

>>32355996
He died and got sent back to the light plane.

>>32355925
Just cause we make an entrance doesn't mean we gotta let goblins into it any time. We're the boss, we get to make the rules.

Duh.

>>32356008
He didn't. He was suppose to kind of reassemble herself or something after the fight. The point is, he should be alive, if they could be called alive, and with us now

>>32356008
But he self repairs.

So: Call everyone filthy. Got it! Writing.

>>32356074
No, call them random and filthy. Jeez.

>>32356054
>>32356060
He self repairs in the light plane.

We have to resummon.

>>32356088
>We have to resummon.
Nope. We don't need to spend another pearl.

>>32356060
>>32356054
>>32356008

He's still reassembling. It isn't that fast. It takes a week.

>>32356088

This is correct. If you had an immortal servant that takes a week to repair, you'd just spend all your pearls on lizards every month till you had a literally unbeatable army!

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>>32356101
>>32356103

Chief, what are each of the goblin clans known for? Do they have their own specialty or am I just assuming things?

I kinda expect the Fouldrinkers to be sneaky, like their chief.

>>32356074
Good thing they're goblins; they're used to it.

>>32356103
We would too.

>>32356103
>implying Shax (we) has the patience for that.
Now i am sad he died. He kinda died unnecessarily too.

>>32356138
Chief answered this in the last thread.

There's a warlock clan and a priest clan and a bunch of others.

>>32356103
Oh, so any investments we make into training them (they learn, right) stay? Nifty.

The world will learn to fear Shax's army of lizard-scholars.

>>32356159

Yep.

Assuming there is anything they need to learn. Also lets them suicide info gather.

>>32356159
This reminds me, Shax ought to be reading her book on lasers more. Laaaasers.

We might have to run this by dragon lady real fast before we go. Just delay departure by a day for "preparation" (we outsource it all to our minions if we even do any) so we can ask her if this is okay. Just double-check.

Why can't our reassembled lizard use the same entrances shax and company use? Is it too good for them?

>>32356197

Elementals can't exist on this world without something keeping them there!

The astral pearl gives them basically a supply line to the light plane.

>>32356171
Hey chief what do the bird things we can summon do?

I hope we get to meet a real light elemental and invite it to our hideout so it can make fun of our shitty lizard elementals.

>>32356221
So a lizard could read aaaaaaaaaaall the books in our library?

Fuck yeah, he's gonna be a self-taught mage when we resummon him.

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>>32356296
What if they become Pillar Lizardmen?

>>32355861
>Get to the goblin caves, set things straight there. Maybe make an entrance to your plane?

Yeah, an entrance seems good, that way we can be all official and stuff without actually being there, and it is a good sign that Shax is in charge.

You quickly make your way back to the goblin caves. First order of business: You use an astral pearl to make a cave entrance to your elemental plane. It's important to establish these things! Now you got a direct link to Lanketh, too, if that matters?

Your party members file themselves through the entrance, and you let the guards in the plane know that they are cool, they're totally your boys, and that its fine if they hang out at your place. You check up on your artificer real quick. She's made several low grade enchanted weapons for practice, and you take them as bribes for some goblins. Apparently the facilities here are even better than she thought they'd be, and she's been enjoying working there.

Allonces shows the party to the guest quarters, and you introduce your assistant to the elemental servants. They start talking about boring things that you cannot begin to care about, and you head back to the goblin caves.

Once there, you talk to Auntie, and get her in charge of the Bonemurdered remnants (a lot joined the Gloombreaker tribe after you took over) and have her give you the lowdown on tribal activity.

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>>32356278

"Well, the Toothtwisters don't like the change in management at all. They're big on Hungerer worship, and Fouldrinker kept him well fed," You don't like the Hungerer that much. "Hellhearts and Madstinks are both pretty upset as well. Fouldrinker kept the bulk tribes down, so the specialists had more of a free reign in goblin society. With you, a warrior, in charge, they think we're going to have a more martial lean to things." Well. Everyone is probably going to go raiding, that's for sure. "As for Deviloozes, they hate you for being a Bonemurdered more than the fact you're chief. I'd say they aren't that important over all. The rest of the tribes are pretty mixed, though there are plenty of ones you could try to replace the large tribes with."

That's a lot of names to keep track of.

>Let's sort out the Toothtwisters first. With religion, we can probably get the minor clans in line.
>Hellhearts are artificers, right? Your official smith could have a bunch of apprentices!
>Magic is spooky. Let's take care of the Madstinks before they cause a ruckus.
>Let's beat the Deviloozes into line before they spread nasty rumors about you.
>Look into raising some minor clans to prominence.

>>32356535
>>Magic is spooky. Let's take care of the Madstinks before they cause a ruckus.

>>32356535
>>Magic is spooky. Let's take care of the Madstinks before they cause a ruckus.

GOBLIN MAGES. Hell yeah.

>>32356535
Raise minor clans

We are kind to our fellow upstarts

>>32356535
>Hellhearts are artificers, right? Your official smith could have a bunch of apprentices!
Enchanted gear is awesome.

>>32356535
>Magic is spooky. Let's take care of the Madstinks before they cause a ruckus.
Might even help us learn to laser faster.

>>32356535
>Magic is spooky. Let's take care of the Madstinks before they cause a ruckus.
I got magic, you got magic. Let's be friends

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>>32356535
>Magic is spooky. Let's take care of the Madstinks before they cause a ruckus.

Though the Toothtwisters are going to be a problem. I wonder why they worship the Hungerer at all. It's not like they'll receive mercy.

Perhaps they wish to be eaten first.

>>32356535
>Magic is spooky. Let's take care of the Madstinks before they cause a ruckus.
We could show them our best minion and how awesome we think magic is.

Or maybe they're more like hex-workers and Allonces could talk to them. I guess. If she has to.

And maybe some of them would like to read cool books that we've got. Magic folks love books, right?

>>32356535
>Hellhearts are artificers, right? Your official smith could have a bunch of apprentices!

>>32356535
Hellhearts, for an army of mildly enchanted arms!

>>32356597
A good way to learn laser is actually trying to learn laser. We haven't.

>>32356535
I'd smack down the Toothtwisters and Deviloozes and rise some minor clans to take over for them and then work on our specialists.

>>32356535
>>Hellhearts are artificers, right? Your official smith could have a bunch of apprentices!
>>Magic is spooky. Let's take care of the Madstinks before they cause a ruckus.
This shows we do not oppress the specialists and solves that problem.

>>32356535
Everyone seems to be clamouring for the specialists but I think we should take care of our major opposition first. (Toothtwisters and Deviloozes).

>>32356628
Good point.
>>32356614
man this demigod thing is going to make this a lot easier.
Hey magic dudes, you follow me and Ill let you look at my sweet ass library.
Yo artifacers. you guys like forging right? Check out this sweet ass forge I got.

>>32356535
Introduce the Hellhearts and Madstinks to our demigod resources.

>>32356535
>Hellhearts are artificers, right? Your official smith could have /an army/ of apprentices!

Heavy weapons' (smiths) squad? Want.

I confess: I didn't count the votes before saying writing this time.

But I'm Writing! all the same

>>32356734
It's either Madstinks, Hellhearts, or both.

Either way, the method is the same: show them our cool demi-god stuff.

>>32356734
You don't really need to.

The consensus is to tell the Specialists that we cool with book learning.

>>32356761
We should really actually read that book. But we're always busy! Maybe when we're travelling some place we could read.

Oh! We should get the goblins to make us a sweet throne to put on top of turtles so we can ride them more fancy like.

>>32356535
>>Let's sort out the Toothtwisters first. With religion, we can probably get the minor clans in line.
Let's make Sea Mom the official goblin goddess!

>>32356755
>>32356761
Best part of this is that it doesn't just bring two clans on our side, but also establishes us as a benovelent light god to the rest of the goblins. Which undermines the Toothtwisters efforts to get people to care about the Hungerer and and makes it very difficult for the Deviloozes to make everyone else hate us.

>>32356823
>Let's make Sea Mom the official goblin goddess!
Anon, we're the official goblin goddess.

>>32356849
Y'know we do actually count as a god right? I mean why not get people to whorship us instead of the Hungerer, we totally won't eat their souls!

>>32356930
See: >>32356826

We're already on the way there by sharing our godly gifts with the masses.

>>32356930
Even if they are tasty!

>>32356930
We're a demigod, at best. Don't start thinking we're on Sea Mom or Hungerer's level.

>>32356945
Are souls tasty? I've never tried one

>>32356977
Depends on whose soul it is.

>>32356969
Yeah, we rule an elemental plane, which is really neat, but we're nowhere near god-tier. Besides, Sea Mom has been really nice to us, and she'd probably be happy to get more followers.

>>32356997
Goblin souls are probably not tasty, I mean, think about it for a second. Who even knows where it's been?

>>32357022
Goblin souls ought to be very tasty. They're full of crushed hopes and dreams.

>>32357004
I don't see why we need to go out of the way for Sea Mom, personally.

The whole point of a Blade is to mostly do their own shit and incidentally help out the God, anyway.

Even if we aren't on the same level as Sea Mom, we're still a more likely fit for a new patron diety of goblins than her.

I wonder if we can ask Sea Mom to claim our soul when we die? It's got to be better than the Hungerer. Maybe.

>>32357050
We just need to kill the Hungerer.

We aren't at his power level, but obtaining some more power and siphoning off his followers is a good first step.

>>32357050
Being eaten vs drowning for eternity.........
Yeah, let's stick with the Hungerer.

>>32357073
>goblin missionaries going door to door spreading the good news of Shax Gloombreaker

>>32357047
>I don't see why we need to go out of the way for Sea Mom, personally.
Because she's been nice! Let's do something nice for her.

You call a meeting between you, the Hellhearts, and the Madstinks. The tribal heads gather in your caverns and you take them to the cave leading to your elemental plane. It's guarded by the laser turtle you summoned in your fight against the Fouldrinker Chief. "Hey, this is my super cool elemental plane entrance. Why don't you guys come with me for some dinner!" No goblin can refuse this invitation, so of course, they agree.

You suitably awe them with your display of elemental might, and they are staring when you reach your crystalline palace. "So this is where I live basically." You wave around the dining room, "I figured I'd show you what your new boss is like!" Food gets placed down in front of the two tribal leaders, "Anyway, let's get to business. I want you guys to support me as new leader of us cave goblins."

"Whatsminifreme" The Madstink leader says, mouth full of food. As a goblin, you instinctively knew that he immediately asked 'what is in it for me'.

"You, and your leading sorcerers, can get access to my library. It's filled with tons of crazy books. Even some from lost civilizations. Maybe you can find cool magic there, I dunno. Anyway. In exchange, I'll want some of your mages with me on my raids."

Your servants present him a list of tomes that might prove interesting to aspiring arcanists, and the leader looks over them with an appreciative glance. Then he settles into a mode you're very familiar with: bargaining. Madstink dickers with you on the amount of raiders, and the level of access he'll have to the library. At the end of a long debate, he settles back.

Swigging down a flagon of some form of juice, the Madstink leader simply nods. "Alright. I was worried it was gonna be all choppy chop and punchy punch with a nobrain sword weidling maniac as leader, but I can see that won't be the case. Nice to see that won't be a problem." Obviously! You're trying to get along here!

>>32357050
Or we could make our own afterlife. With turtle blackjack! and Lizard strippers!

Dinner is over, so you only have desert, second desert, and post desert feast, and the post feast snack to go over terms with the Hellhearts. How do you want to bargain.

>Firm stance. Only get their best servants in your palace for smithing.
>Light stance. They get more or less free range of materials and smithing facilities.
>Something else.

>>32357098
And shark rides!

>>32357093
Let's do something else nice for her than.

Goblin diety is our schtick.

>>32357121
Whichever our smith wants. I dont think shell want a lot of apprentices, but doling out assignments and homework might be more her thing.

>>32357121
>>Light stance. They get more or less free range of materials and smithing facilities.
We'll make the goblins strong!

>>32357121

Firm stance! The boss cannot be weak

>>32357121
>>Firm stance. Only get their best servants in your palace for smithing.
And then we can let them bargain so their best and second best get to use stuff and they get a bit of materials. That will make them feel good and make us look leaderish.

>>32357121
>Firm stance
I MEAN LOOK AT THE FORGES

We can't let some filthy plebs get their grubby hands on it and spill the cauldron of infinite lava into the rest of our plain.

>>32357121
Show them off to our artificier. Make it more an initiation thing. If they can impress her, they can get in.

>>32357121
>>Firm stance. Only get their best servants in your palace for smithing.

We don't want a bunch of losers bugging our awesome smith.

>>32357121
>Firm stance. Only get their best servants in your palace for smithing.
Elites get the best gear.

>>32357154
>>32357183
>>32357189
Some combination of these.

You've got to get gud to get in.

>>32357121
>Enlightened stance. They get generous access to materials and smithing facilities, but only on the condition that they push their craftsmanship to new heights and provide the tribes with good equipment. Gotta support them raids.

>>32357121
Firm, but ask artificer lady what she can manage

>>32357206
>>32357216
This.

>>32357189
Agreeing with this.

It's not our decision of who is the best. We don't know shit about enchanting. If it's worth our artificier's time, then they're in.

If not, well then they'll just have to work a bit harder then.

>>32357121
>Firm stance. Only get their best servants in your palace for smithing.

I'd advocate light stance if they wouldn't make a huge Buncha work for our artificer but nope.

She seemed more like the uptown sorta girl anyway from her shop.

>>32357121
>Firm-ish Stance. Only their best can EARN access to our palace for smithing.

>>32357121
>Firm stance

Got an idea of how you wanna do this negotiation! Writing.

Desert shows up and you start to dig in proper. It's some sorta shaved ice with fruit flavoring? A more accurate description would be to say that it is great. "So, Hellhearts. You guys like makin' stuff right?"

The Hellheart lead pauses from eating his dessert to do an exaggerated eye roll, "I suppose you could say that. We really just like exploring the limits of goblin science!" Not much science to be found here, you're pretty sure. "Ancienct knowledge has no appeal to me, so don't think your library can tempt us." You don't like his attitude!

You sniff, then put a hand on your forehead cause it hurts real bad suddenly. Maybe you ate too quick? "Ahhhh! I wasn't gonna offer dumb books to you, dummy. Geez." You shake your head, "Alright. I was gonna say, I got an artificer of my own already. She makes super cool enchantments," You lean over and whisper to him, "She's also really pretty," That got his attention. "I was gonna say. Your best dudes get a shot at impressing her. If they do, they can work in my forge and use the resources I got here."

A challenge might work against someone with as much pride as he's got. And it looks like it's definitely got his attention. The details get hammered out between the two of your quickly, and the two clan leads leave with a better impression of you. At least that is two major clans down! Only two more to go. You get a situation update from Auntie.

"Deviloozes are mad you talked to the specialists first, and are talkin' to the minor clans about how you ignore the common folk." What the heck. "Also, the Toothtwisters are taking this as a sign that you are really putting the Hungerer on the backburner. A lotta people don't like that!"

>I don't like this Hungerer fellow at all! Let's look into some info on him.
>Deviloozes are losers. Let's go show them who is boss.
>Gotta talk those Toothtwisters down so we can get back to raiding.

>>32357803
>I don't like this Hungerer fellow at all! Let's look into some info on him.

>>32357803
>I don't like this Hungerer fellow at all! Let's look into some info on him.

Damn, I knew the Deviloozers were important.

>>32357803
>I don't like this Hungerer fellow at all! Let's look into some info on him.
I wonder if the Hungerer is anything like that one god from Oglaf.

>>32357854
>turns out the Hungerer is an alright guy and just wrote some angsty stuff back way back when

>>32357908
>Sea Mom was abandoned by Sea Dad
>She's so lonely now
>She needs a real man in her life
>Shax plays matchmaker between her and Hungerer.

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>>32357929
Oh man.

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>>32357929

Snap decision to research this fellow? Alrighty.

Writing!

>Infinite food in the form of moss
>Infinite water
>Everchanging space
Man, we get our plain a bit bigger, and we've got a legit goblin paradise. Imagine, a place where goblins don't have to fear war, death or starvation. A place where you don't lose cousins and parents to filthy surface-walkers who decide to slaughter you for gold. Just endless sands and serene crystal wildlife. Upon death, you become yet another crystalline creature in the infinite sea.
God Shax is best.

>>32357803
Gather up the minor clans and normal raiding clans andtalk to them about looting. Maybe give them some of pur loot?

>>32358002
I don't think goblins are really cut out for the whole 'serene philosophical peacefulness and self-exploration' shtick, given that they are mostly stupid and violent

>>32357929
>>32357854
Can we use a boss point to make this happen?

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>>32358037
>implying you can't go on a journey of spritual self-discovery while being stupid and violent

it's called a Crusade

>>32358074
SHAX WILLS IT

>>32358002
>>32358037
They also reproduce like crazy so unless we do some cultural reform or some crazy biological alterations we'll have a serious overpopulation problem.

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>>32358091
>biological alterations

There's plenty of food and land under the sea, you know!

>>32358088
What Holy Land would Seamom want to have reconquered in her name, though? Is there any place on land that's special to her, or does she just want to submerge everything without distinction?

>Under the Sea.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jgA2xo0HYrE&feature=kp
So we need to find a crab or crab-like being with a good singing voice and way with words?

>>32358163
The Risen City, SITNALTA, former Capital of a Mermaid kingdom, that vanished into the sky centuries past.
Even if Seamom submerged the entire world, she still could not get to it, which is why she needs our help to thrust it back into the Sea!

>>32358354
Isn't that kinda like the plot of Doctor Doolittle?

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>>32358399
Doctor who?

"So what's the deal with this Hungerer guy anyway? Like what makes him so special? Why we gotta worship him?" You legit don't understand these things.

Auntie looks up from herding a pile of kid goblins, holds a finger up to her mouth and looks around, "Jeez, Shax. Don't say stuff like that so loud. You'll really get a bad name then. Anyway, we don't have much choice. Goblins are spawned from the Hungerer's realm. It's a world of greed. That's why we return to it we die. We worship him cause we can draw strength from that plane." She hisses all of this in a whisper.

"Oh, so it is like my plane then." Auntie looks at you with a confused expression, "You know I rule the plane of light, right?" She shrugs. "Where did you think the giant crystal turtle came from. Or the huge portal into an elemental plane?" She shrugs again. Goodness. Maybe you ought to raise awareness about this or something? "Anyway, I got this plane in a certain way, do you think that will work with the Hungerer's plane, too?"

Auntie just sort of looks at you like you're crazy, "I don't know jack shit about any of that, young lady, now you stop worrying about taking over the Hungerer's universe before you get into trouble." Maybe you get stuck in that universe like the Hungerer is. Most gods can't interact directly with the material plane, right? Hmmm. something to think about.

=====================================================================

That's it for now! Sorry about the slow thread tonight. Not much going on but table setting, unfortunately! But you should get back to action next thread? Hopefully! Thanks for playing and also reading as always! You dudes are great.

I'll just dump exp next time. I dunno when I can run, but hopefully tuesday/wednesday/thursday. I'll announce on twitter when.

In all seriousness, I am distracted as all hell so I apologize for the lack of happenings in this thread.

See you next time!

>>32358583
thx 4 running budi gd thread.

>>32358583
>Take over the hungerer's thrones

Huh.

>>32358618
We are so attempting this at some point. Maybe not now. But later. We will make him eat laser.

>>32358583
Thanks for running, Chief! You're the coolest QM.

>>32358583
Thanks for the thread, Chief.

Might have been table setting as you said but I enjoyed this thread.

Establishing a foundation is just something I really enjoy.

>>32358618
Nah we gotta join forces and form a divine trifecta

>>32358603
don't you copy me

>>32358723
don't you copy me

>>32358714
Find his Blade. Maybe it's a huge weapon user.

>>32359114
Since the Hungerer eats goblins, wouldn't his blade be someone who kills a lot of goblins?

>>32359212
......
no

>>32359212
Maybe we just killed his blade?