>>32237404
And this isn't even an r-strategist

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>>32237404
>Is real life nature the most grimdark setting out there?
NOPE thread? NOPE thread.

Four new species of brain-manipulating fungi that turn ants into "zombies" have been discovered in the Brazilian rain forest.

These fungi control ant behavior with mind-altering chemicals, then kill them. They're part of a large family of fungi that create chemicals that mess with animal nervous systems.

Once infected by spores, the worker ants, normally dedicated to serving the colony, leave the nest, find a small shrub and start climbing. The fungi directs all ants to the same kind of leaf: about 25 centimeters above the ground and at a precise angle to the sun (though the favored angle varies between fungi). How the fungi do this is a mystery.

Before dying, ants anchor themselves to the leaf, clamping their jaws on the edge or a vein on the underside. The fungi then takes over, turning the ant's body into a spore-producing factory. It lives off the ant carcass, using it as a platform to launch spores, for up to a year.

Of the four new species, two grow long, arrow-like spores which eject like missiles from the fungus, seeking to land on a passing ant. The other fungi propel shorter spores, which change shape in mid-air to become like boomerangs and land nearby. If these fail to land on an ant, the spores sprout stalks that can snag ants walking over them. Upon infecting the new ant, the cycle starts again.

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>>32237404
pretty much

>>32237440
ants actually detect and quarantine these infected because they live in a fucking zombie movie

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>>32237440
You know what's funny? Most people think this kind of shit happens only in rainforests or other far away places. But there are plenty of mind-controlling parasites in the western world as well.

In the early morning you can find mind-controlled ants on almost every meadow, clenching to the upper ends of tall grass waiting for a cow to eat them so the parasite can get inside.

That's not grim at all, just a natural process. Those birds that don't survive feed predators, and eventually they become fertilizer for plants.

When you come to understand that these animals are not even intelligent enough to have a concept of "self" and wouldn't even mourn their own passing, it becomes a tall order to really treat it as a tragedy without anthropomorphizing them.

>>32237459
I remember that from the cartoon.
Funfact: in my language it is called a "devil-rake"

>>32237440
>How the fungi do this is a mystery.

Duh. Cthulhu.

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>>32237507
talking about this scene? (for those of you who haven't seen the cartoon, these are the babies of one of the main characters who just gave birth the episode before, she left them alone for a few minutes and this happens)

also shrikes are apparently closely related to corvids which means the bastards are probably smart enough to know what they're doing

>>32237404
Nature being scary is why mouse guard is the most grimdark game of all.

>>32237553
>talking about this scene?
This guy knows what is up

>>32237597
that cartoon went from "talking animals" to "deathmarch" real quickly

european cartoons were the best

>>32237495
I once found catterpillar on my window, worms were crawling out of it. Parasitiond wasps. I decided to let the nature take its course and watched as the worms spun cocoons, while the severely wounded mindcontroled catterpillar parasitiod wasp can somehow do that), slowly wasted away portecting those cocoons. Few days later, small black bugs hatched out of those cocoons and I let them fly away. Out of most of those cocoons. About five were left unhatched.

Day later, significantly smaller, somewhat different looking bugs hatched out of the remaining cocoons. Later I learned there is a species of parasitiod wasp, that infects cocoons of other parasitoid wasps with its eggs.

>>32237404

My aunt's garden was protected by electric wire. The rabbits just ran and jumped through it and got tased every time. They were desperate enough for it to be worth it.

>>32237559

Watership Down seems more the appropriate literary reference.

>>32237630
makes me wonder if you could adapt one of the existing "animal" systems to have a Watership Down inspired rabbit game

if everyone is serious about it and willing to roleplay a bit it could be pretty fun

>>32237553
Sauce?

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>>32237404
>Is real life nature the most grimdark setting out there?
No.

KULT is.

In our reality there are people who are somewhat happy and they die, only to dissolve into nothingness. In KULT it's just the beginning of their torment.

>>32237618
How was it called? I remeber seeing exactly this episode (and only this episode) once as akid on Slavak television. I developed a respect for the shrike as a result.

>>32237629

>Later I learned there is a species of parasitiod wasp, that infects cocoons of other parasitoid wasps with its eggs.

jesus christ

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>>32237677
Animals of Farthing Wood, a european collaborative 90's cartoon series.

Plot is "the surviving animals of a forest being bulldozed to make way for houses band together and try to find a new home"

its somewhat unique in the fact that "everyone can die" is taken very literally: the characters no matter how much they talk are still animals and often quite brutally

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PiduLKkw1JE

>>32237726
also the entire series is officially available on youtube

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>>32237629
>>32237701
That's called superparasitism, many Chalcid wasps do that to other parasites. And most are extremely small, some are about the size of a amoeba.
http://blogs.discovermagazine.com/notrocketscience/2011/11/30/how-fairy-wasps-cope-with-being-smaller-than-amoebas/

Pictured: Cuckoo wasp (Chrysis ignita). Not a chalcid wasp and quite a bit bigger, but also a superparasite. Also pretty common around Europe.

>>32237726
I have a theory...
Kids who grew up with this don't whine about GoT today.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GK_Cl_54Qh8

Enjoy you some Irukandji. There's another fucked up jellyfish though, let me take a second to find it.

>>32237726
I remember that show! Man, it's been a long time since I last saw it.

>>32237664
GURPS got a rabbit supplement: Bunnies and Burrows

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>>32237829
>GURPS got a rabbit supplement: Bunnies and Burrows
Which is based off an old FGU game

>>32237404

>I've seen some shit

>>32237553

If this were a tabletop, we'd call the GM on wantonly killing a PC's family for plot development.

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Plague Dogs was better

And by that I mean worse

>>32237726

>dem hedgehogs getting run over because they curled into a ball while crossing the street
>dem salamanders going up in wildfire for refusing to leave the little pool of water behind

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mrL2A7my1fc

Dat Velvet Worm

>>32237726
Aww shit, thank you anon, I gotta rewatch that

>>32237507
The shrike or the turbo-hardcore thorn bush?

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>>32237629
>Later I learned there is a species of parasitiod wasp, that infects cocoons of other parasitoid wasps with its eggs.

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>>32237404

34% survival rate is nothing OP.

Almost all fire ants are female workers, but by feeding larvae special food and letting them gestate different lengths of time 'alates' can be produced.

Alates are the fire ants made to reproduce. All males are alates; female alates are unfertilized future queens. They all have wings.

During mating all the alates fly hundreds of feet in the air and have sex midflight. The male alates penis-equivalent literally explodes inside the female, giving her enough sperm to fertilize millions of eggs for her entire lifespan (average of 10-12 years).

All male alates die immediately after sex.

After that the newly fertilized queens land, rip off their wings with their jaws, dig into the ground, and lay their first few eggs.

Because there are so many fire ant queens attempting to do this at the same time (and competition with preexisting colonies) the survival rate for queens is less than 1 percent.

>>32238595
>Media Worker

I know there is probably another I'm missing here, but I pictured an ant doing video editing for the colony's website.

>>32238081
Jesus Christ at the end where it's like you gonna get loved tenderly. And by loved I mean eaten. And by tenderly I mean brutally.

>Is real life nature the most grimdark setting out there?
Life expectancy of a captive fox, ~12 years. Life expectancy of a fox in the wilderness, ~3 years.

It's really not about the survival of the fittest. It's whether you'll be lucky enough to get laid before something kills you. Some animal species don't even bother anymore; many small rodents will frequently die from stress after encountering a predator, even if they escape. Because the ability to recover was so rarely in play that it was never a positive selection factor. That is entire species that decided not to bother.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NECsHSvNI-I

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http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cymothoa_exigua
>Cymothoa exigua, or the tongue-eating louse, is a parasitic crustacean of the family Cymothoidae. This parasite enters fish through the gills, and then attaches itself to the fish's tongue. The female attaches to the tongue and the male attaches on the gill arches beneath and behind the female. The parasite destroys the fish's tongue, and then attaches itself to the stub of what was once its tongue and becomes the fish's new tongue

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>>32237404
Nature is neither good nor evil.

Just indifferent.

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>>32237404
Yup
>http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Golden_silk_orb-weaver

>The largest specimen ever recorded was a 6.9 cm (2.7 in) female N. plumipes (which is now debated to have been a new yet undocumented subspecies)
>In 2012 a large individual was photographed killing and consuming a half-metre-long brown tree snake in Freshwater, Queensland.[2][3] Species from Taiwan have been known to reach over 5 in (130 mm), legspan included, in mountainous country.
>There have been several efforts in the past to produce garments from Nephila silk although none commercially viable.[12] These include two bed hangings that were shown at the 1900 Paris Exhibition.[

>>32238705
>>32238756

>freaky deaky beast mind
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5f9KlpvAfko

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More fire ant facts:

There are two genotypes of fire ant, one is monogynous the other polygynous.

Monogynous ants are more typical and widespread. They have one queen per nest and all nests compete for resources.

Polygynous ants are a relatively new development evolutionarily. Instead of competition between queens, they will "work together" in the same nest, or across multiple nests.

I put "work together" in quotes because there's all manner of chemical warfare and subterfuge between the queens who inhabit the same nest. For this and other reasons, polygynous queens have shorter lifespans and are less productive.

Polygynous fire ants were only discovered in the 70's, and are currently spreading across the United States. Because nests don't compete, there are many more nests in a small area, making polygynous fire ants even more of a nuisance than monogynous ants.

As we speak, massive multi-nest conglomerations of fire ants are spreading across the United States, expanding their borders as more and more queens join the preexisting colonies. Where before they were disparate, now they move as a unified whole.

>>32238642

Media is just what's between minor and major.

>>32238081
that mouthpiece. fuck.
Captcha: rtyfear equip
too damn right im equipping my rty fear

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>>32238790
>mfw I live in Queensland

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http://news.discovery.com/animals/centipede-eats-snake-from-inside-out-140417.htm
>Centipede is eaten by snake
>Eats it way outside
>Dies anyway

>>32238642
No, you have it right, the media workers form the PR branch of the colony. Most of the articles and documentaries out there describing how painful and/or deadly fire ant bites can be were produced by the fire ants themselves. Their marketing division owns several patents on "fire ant poisons" which are entirely ineffective. It's a very unique defensive mechanism.

>>32238838
thought i'd throw some argentine ants into the mix http://www.cracked.com/blog/6-reasons-we-should-be-way-more-scared-ants/

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>>32238866
Again with the "friendly" fire ants conspiracy shit. AIDF pls go, we all know what is really happening. The ants control the media.

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Since I know most of /tg/ is very squeamish I'd suggest going to google image search and entering 'loa loa'

Have fun.

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>http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Asian_giant_hornet

>yak-killer hornet,[2] is the world's largest hornet, native to temperate and tropical Eastern Asia. Its body length is approximately 50 mm (2 in) and its wingspan about 76 mm (3 in),[3] and it has a 6 mm (0.24 in) stinger which injects a large amount of potent venom.

> injects an especially potent venom that contains, like many bee and wasp venoms, a cytolytic peptide (specifically, a mastoparan) that can damage tissue by stimulating phospholipase action,in addition to its own intrinsic phospholipase.

>The venom contains a neurotoxin called mandaratoxin (MDTX),[6] a single-chain polypeptide with a molecular weight of approximately 20 kD,[7] which can be lethal even to people who are not allergic if the dose is sufficient.

What that all means is that this hornet has a stinger the same size as an epi-pen and injects acid into it's prey.

>>32237664
Bunnies and Burrows is the oldest animal system, and it's so Watership Down inspired it lets you be seers and explicitly says that rabbits can't count past four

>>32237988
It looks like that's that the bird is doing.

>>32239005
isn't the tarantula hawk worse?

>>32237742
Yo dawg I heard yo like parasitic wasps so I put parasitic wasps in yo parasitic wasps so yo can parasitise while yo parasitise

>>32238969
NO NO NO NO NON ON ON NON NON NONONONONONONONONONO

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>>32239005
The best thing is there are even bigger wasps.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mammoth_wasp

Their venom is not as potent but boy do they scare the shit out of you when they fly by.

>>32238838
>Media is just what's between minor and major.

I'm actually watching a documentary about leafcutter ants and I believe they're called media because they bring growing medium (leafs) into the colony.

>>32239041
It's sting is rated no.2 on the Schmidt index. The Bullet ant is still no.1

For those who don't know, yes they made a scale that measures how painful stings are.
http://www.arkinspace.com/2011/08/schmidt-sting-pain-index-how-much-could.html

>>32239041
It has the second most painful sting in the world, but its not lethal like the asian hornet's.

Daily reminder that there probably are worms inside your gut. and they're having sex

>>32239101
Forgot to mention what>>32239114 said, it may be painful but it's not lethal unless you're allergic. The Asian Wasp can be lethal even if you're not allergic to it.

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>>32239135

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Things I never wanted to know: the thread.

>>32239157
OOH let's play a game then;

Tell us what country you live in and we can tell you which creepy crawlies live there!

>>32238764
That's the best kind of grimdark. It's not shit with everybody dying because some crazy guy or an evil god makes it so. It's shit with everybody dying because that's just how it is.

>>32239173
England.

>>32239173
not that anon, but i'll bite. Wales.

>>32239157
When you were being born, you probably touched your mother's asshole more than a few times.

>>32239139
They're also not particularly aggressive.

>>32239210
The Welsh.

>>32239173
I think i already know all the NOPE's in my country, but if your willing Australia

>>32239173
The US. Specificially, Oklahoma. Inb4 Texans

>>32239210
>>32239211
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Nematomorpha
Worms that force insects to drown themselves.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dicrocoelium_dendriticum
Worm that mind controlles ants.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Echinococcus_multilocularis
Worm that forms cysts in all your organs. Lethality rate: 94%

>>32237507
here, it's strangler

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>>32239285
brb, buying flamethrower

>>32239173
The Netherlands. Bonus points if you can find beasties that haven't been mentioned yet.

>>32239362
You can't: you live in Britain! Hell, I think a fly swatter requires 3 forms of ID and a waiting period over there, and actually using it to swat flies is a hate crime.

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>>32239173
New Zealand only has one deadly spider
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Katipo
It has a very nasty bite but hasn't killed anyone since the 19th century. It's actually pretty rare and very shy, but it has a real status in Maori legend.

>>32239367
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Entomophthora_muscae
Fungus that mind controls flies

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Calyptra_thalictri
A moth that sucks blood

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pentastomida
An extremely old group of parasitic invertebrates (not worms) that live inside lungs. Apparently these existed before lungs were even a thing.


Should I keep going?

>>32239173
Northern sweden

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bcj0Srt8i6k#t=13

Horsehair worms, ladies and gentlemen.

>>32239438
>sweden
obligatory pol shitpost

>>32239427
Sure, keep 'em going

>>32239467
Technically everyone is a parasite here since we're pretty much run by a socialist goverment.

Also i think our worst bugs are from the outside, fuck you foreigners and your shit worms.

>>32239427
How about Ohio?

>>32239499
yep he's a Swede

I live in California, and the worst thing I know about are the (surprisingly unthreatening) black widows and (extremely isolationist) brown recluses.

>>32239551
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mojave_Rattlesnake

>>32239427
Try Spain now.

>>32239506
>>32239619
Most of these are distributed world wide anyway.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Trichinella
Tiny worm that lives inside cells, wanders into your muscles, can control muscles

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Toxoplasma_gondii
If you have a cat you probably have this brain parasite. About 50% of humanity is infected. Normally lives in cats, propagates through mice. Affects behaviour.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mermithidae
Worm that infects mosquitoes and makes them VERY horny. So horny that they turn gay.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Leucochloridium_paradoxum
Funky disco eye worm. You've probably seen the BBC video on it.

>>32239173
Central Canada?

>>32239263
i... i'm sorry

To the Americans and Canadians that have asked: You have most of these parasites as well.

BUT you also have this fun fellow:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cochliomyia_hominivorax
Fly that lays eggs into little cuts, the maggots kill of the tissue around themselves and eat it.
Has officially been eradicated but it's spreading again, the english wikipedia entry isn't that great.

DO NOT image search this.

>>32239135
BRB, disemboweling self.

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I'm not sure I believe this.

I'm not sure I want to believe this.

But it has also been suggested that toxoplasmosis is responsible for a lot of schizophrenia. So if it can mess with your mind in that way, can we really rule it out?

Maybe there are a while bunch of diseases that are jerking us around like puppets, and we simply don't realise it. There's your grimdark for you right there.

>>32239173
Canada

>>32238862
thanks for the nightmares

>>32237440
Also Zom-Bees: brain maggots that affect various bees including the honey bee.
https://www.zombeewatch.org/

>>32237498
Nurgle cultist!
#BLAM#

>>32239464
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XU1MAokrrUk

>>32239769
Ever wonder why the guy who runs Parasite Quest's name is Toxo?

>>32239769
This gets suggested every so often, but there is not a single believable study that shows that Toxoplasma affects human behaviour. Most of these studies find that it makes you somewhat more daring, less careful and slow to react, but even these results often don't hold up against critical investigation.
This is one of THE topics of modern parasitology. Almost ALL parasites affect host behavior and it is very likely that some affect humans as well. But parasites affect the hosts behaviour in such a way that they have an easier time spreading. I don't see how being gay helps Toxoplasma spread to new hosts (it lives in the brain and is transmitted by feces). Besides humans are a dead end host to Toxoplasma anyway, the normal cycle is mice>cat>feces>mice>etc.

Research in behavior altering parasites is still ongoing, expect some interesting results in the next few years.

Oh and on a completely different note: Apparently you can make flies gay by overexpressing certain male hormon related genes....

>>32239921
Keep an eye on these if you're interested:
http://www.cell.com/trends/parasitology/home

http://www.sciencedirect.com/science/journal/00207519/44

>>32239921
>I don't see how being gay helps Toxoplasma spread to new hosts

in humans, maybe it doesn't, but perhaps it's a side-affect of the mind-altering abilities toxoplasmosis developed for its other hosts.

> overexpressing
typical flamboyant gays

>>32239921
>I don't see how being gay helps Toxoplasma spread to new hosts (it lives in the brain and is

>transmitted by feces

Answered your own question.

>>32239739
>DO NOT image search this.
WHY WOULD YOU SAY THIS? YOU KNEW I WOULD HAVE TO DO IT. WHY WOULD YOU DO THIS TO ME?

>>32238642
So the 'minor workers' are either child labor or sex slaves.
Why I assume there's loli-sex-slaves in an anthill to do some sweet lesbian lovemaking with some workers, I have no idea
then again, a young loli-ant being forced to do some lewd things by a dominant warrior ant...

>>32238838
So... Krimean ants?

>>32239921
>I don't see how being gay helps Toxoplasma spread to new hosts
>the normal cycle is mice>cat>feces>mice>etc.
Exactly: humans aren't a normal part of it's life cycle, but IT doesn't know its in a human. It's been suggested that the behavioral changes in the rodents it infects are inherently sexual: the parasite stimulates the rodent's sexual arousal when the host smells cat urine. Humans' brains are very different from rat brains, but it's not hard to imagine that the parasites effect human arousal as well.

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>>32239739
>Those eye shots with the rot and the swelling and cavitation.

They always pick the most disturbing pictures.

>>32240056
Didn't you know? Ants have a thing for slaves:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Polyergus_rufescens
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Slave-making_ant

And butterflies have a thing for making ants their slaves as well:
http://australianmuseum.net.au/Lycaenid-butterflies-and-ants

>>32240104
There sadly are no conclusive studies on that yet (probably because no one has the balls to test it openly). But there are other studies that suggest that Toxoplasma does in fact affect human behavior. One of my favorite ones compared infected and non infected peoples behavior in traffic. The infected ones were more agressive, less patient AND had slower reaction times.
But like I said before, that was one of those studies where the differences were so minor it didn't really matter.

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/d/ level parasite here that I read about in Parasite Rex.
>Sterilizes its host crab
>Forces them to instead birth its own larvae
>When it infects a male, adjusts its physiology to convince the crab's body it's a pregnant female
http://www.damninteresting.com/body-snatching-barnacles-and-zombie-crabs/

>>32239005
Forgot the name, but there is a japanese Hornet that not only stings you, but also sprays its venomous acid into your eyes (yes, it aims for the eyes).
Also the acid contains pheromones that attract more hornets that then will start to sting the marked area (ie: the face and eyes).

And these hornets live in parks and can even dwell in the most densely populated areas

>>32239005
>which can be lethal even to people who are not allergic if the dose is sufficient.
Like every other thing, even water can be lethal if the dose is sufficient
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Water_intoxication

>>32239921
>I don't see how being gay helps Toxoplasma spread to new hosts

Isn't it obvious?

To cats, toxoplsma isn't a parasite: it's a symbiote. It helps the cat, also a parasitic species, live and feed off of its own host: humans.

Consider: the humans most likely to own cats are single women, followed closely by gay men. Toxoplasma acts on the developing human male brain, causing it to develop more closely to that of a female: infected inutero, this is the cause of gender identity disorder... the parasite actually causes the male to believe it is a female. Infections later in life will have less severe changes, because the brain has already developed, resulting in somewhat more effeminate behaviors and an attraction to males instead of females.

The end result is more single women (the cat's preferred host) and more gay men.

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>>32240173
Oh shit how could I forget about Sacculina? http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sacculina

You know what the best thing about these fuckers is? The way they infect new hosts. It never gets mentioned anywhere for some reason.

The larva that hatch from those eggs look like happy little normal shrimp thingies. The males stay that way, they only grow bigger. The females however search for an uninfected crab, once they find one they grab onto it and search for weak spots (joints) in the crabs exoskeleton. When they find one they INJECT THEMSELVES THROUGH THEIR OWN ANTENNA into the host. They spray their cells into the host with enormous pressure. Needless to say what's left of them outside the crab dies quickly. The injected cells meanwhile search eachother and form into a featureless cell lump that then attaches itself to one of the crabs organs and begins growing into the fungus like mesh that is described in your article.

/d/ ain't got shit on this.

>>32240268
>mfw

>>32239173
Try Poland.
And don't say Gypsies and Slavic Hobos.

>>32240268
It might also act on the brains of female humans as well, throwing their nurturing instincts into overdrive while simultaneously making them repulsive to human males: this creates a "crazy cat lady" the ultimate host for the cat/toxoplasma relationship.

>>32240268
This is why many human populations have begun to develop severe allergic reactions to cats: if cats are truly beneficial to us (reducing the number of vermin) why would we develop an immune response to them? This allergy is a reaction to the fact that cats, via their Toxoplasma symbiotes, interfere with the human life cycle. People with cat allergies were more likely to pass on their genes to healthy offspring, while those without found themselves with male offspring who were unlikely to breed normally.

>>32239921
>But parasites affect the hosts behaviour in such a way that they have an easier time spreading
>(it lives in the brain and is transmitted by feces)
I'm pretty sure that a lot of German are infected. You can't be sane and do so much scat porn.

>>32240268
>>32240317
>>32240360
brb, killing cat

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gVMjvV6w6XM

afaik, the blue wriggling thingies are their genitals.

>>32239173
I live in Florida, USA.

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>>32240448
Why yes, that is slug is Limax maximus and those blue things are their penises.

Here, this picture shows what they actually do with them. At least they don't have love darts.

>>32239173
Germany. I kinda doubt we have anything awesome or freaky.

And just to have a single ray of light in this thread, look for images for the "bombylius major".

>>32237404
Real life is by default neutral boring.

Now when the Sparrowhawks start killing each other in horribly painful ways because if they don't they're driven mad by the dark god of Sparrowhawks, then we're starting to get grimdark.

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>>32240509
kinda reminds me of pic related

>>32240538
We have almost everything that has been posted in this thread.

Ich bin derjenige der hier die wikipedia links posted. Die Viecher gibt es hier alle.

>>32240558
We don't know for certain if there's not a dark god of sparrowhawks that tells them to brutally murder each other.

>>32240575
Heilandsgreitzgrappesack

>>32240538
>merkel maximus
>invades your privacy and whores you out to the US

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>>32240631
Wie bitte?

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This thread is horrifying

>>32239173
Saskatchewan

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>>32240375
But, anon, the parasite only wants to love you and make you better. You just have to let inside. You'll love the new you because your brain will be physically changed to love it.

>>32238595
Maybe elves are like ants.

Winged elves do the breeding, but they're all gone.
It also explains the saying "It's not gay if it's fey" because all males are alates and they clearly don't exist anymore.

>>32240026
i really wonder how people can have such conditions without doing anything against it. i mean, don't they notice it or do they just not give a fuck?

>>32239135
Fuck. Even my intestinal parasites get laid more than I do.

>>32239029
The bird is the one that did it

>>32238838
>Polygynous ants are a relatively new development evolutionarily. Instead of competition between queens, they will "work together" in the same nest, or across multiple nests.
Cool.
Years ago when I was canoe camping with my parents I discovered an enormous ant hill and not too far from it was another big one.
There was like a highway between them and as I stood next to it I could hear them quite loudly moving.

>>32238847
That should be your face just for living in Queensland at all
You guys get all the spooky shit

>>32238595
>you will never bust a nut so hard that a girl gets pregnant for life

>>32238862
In my head canon the centipede saved a centipede village from that snake and died a heroic death.

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http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CEnr4nr0d_U
Botflys terrify me. Warning: Watching this video may make your neck itchy

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>>32239242

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>>32239817
Wow really?
That's pretty fucking terrifying.
>>32239173
France.

>>32240982
Okay mix two living creatures on earth for horrifying results.

Hardmode: No double spiders

Brown Recluse-Mosquito.
It's large and creepy, it can fly and it wants your blood.

>>32240173
Jeez, that fucking edit.

>>32241165
pirahna crow

>>32240985
I used to think that for the first world humans terraform we should bring as many lifeforms as possible with us, but maybe just grass and us?

>>32239173
Finland. There's absolutely nothing nope living here.

I'm supposed to be reading my nice book on the fall of France yet here I am getting educated about the vile produce of evolution. Ain't life great.

>>32239173
Russia - west siberian plain

>>32241165
tardigrade-cockroach

>>32241227
I like to think we (as in "the earth") lucked out in evolution and got extremely good immune systems that can defend us even from unknown threats, while the aliens don't. And then we drop all sorts of nematodes and molds on their heads.
(Yes, molds. You don't want to know what these do to you if your immune system fails.)

>>32241253
You have almost all of the internal parasites that were mentioned.

>>32238595

Ants aren't real animals, they're biological computers.

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>>32241297
All animals are biological computers.

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>>32239739
>Cochliomyia_hominivorax
>mfw I read The Dante Club

>>32239173
Connecticut, USA.

thought we could use some more megafauna monstrosities (though the inverts and and microbes are the true masters of horror) http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZrqgPjZ07Ts

>>32239173

Scottish Lowlands

>>32241436
Same actually

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>>32241418

>>32241339

No, computers are inorganic machines meant to emulate the human brain.

>>32241215
>pirahna crow
Oh god I read it as Pirahna Cow first and thought that was a weird choice.

>>32241493
Computers are devices to process an input.

>>32241512

Which is an unintentional emulation of the brain.

Regardless, it is a gross oversimplification to compare animals to machines.

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http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Candiru

>>32241446

Anywhere near Paisley?

>>32241287
>You don't want to know what these do to you if your immune system fails.
I imagine it's a lot like The Last of Us

>>32241530

Not with ants it's not, they're running nest.exe all day.

For anyone interested in ants I can recommend 2 excellent books:
>The Superorganism: The Beauty, Elegance, and Strangeness of Insect Societies by Hölldobler and Wilson
Not too in-depth (but still very scientific) and pretty new. Easy to read for non-experts.

and if you REALLY want to delve into the topic:
>The Ants by Holldobler and Wilson
As you might have guessed by the title this is THE book about ants written by the two definitive experts on the topic. Won a Pulitzer prize. Everything there is to know about ants is in this, be warned though, the information is packed extremely dense.

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Hey guys guess what, in Australia your not even safe from the tree's.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dendrocnide_moroides
>Tree with microscopic needles covering its leaves
>Needles contain a potent neuro toxin
>Pain is so intense it has been known to drive people to suicide.
>Current only known treatment involves applying hydrochloric acid to affected area and then attempting to remove the microscopic barbs with wax paper.

>>32241866
Fuck that

>>32241866
Thank god I'm not in Australia.
The rest of the world has this shit to deal with though: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Heracleum_mantegazzianum
Not as bad, but the poison is interesting in that it is photo active. On a cloudy day it won't do anything but if the sun comes out it causes major burns on the skin areas it's on. It's hard to wash off and stays active for some 48 hours meaning you can touch the plant, nothing happens and some two days later suddenly your skin starts burning.

Fuck this stupid plant

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>>32241866
Oh Australia, you never cease to horrify.

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>>32241866
Goddamn it Australia.

>>32241866
>>32241935
Why. Why did nature feel the need for these plants to exist?

And now, ladies and gentlemen, you know why you do not fuck with druids

>>32241866
I am a biologist, so most of stuff doesn`t horrify me. It made me creep out.

>>32242098

The drunkard's arms race that is evolution.
>Plant is successful; therefore abundant food source
>Animals start nomming
>Random Mutation uses Mild Toxin
>It's successful! Animals stay away, plant flourishes
>Animals adapt, now-immune strain noms some more
>Random Mutation uses Pure Pain Toxin
>It's successful! Animals stay away, plant flourishes
>Animals adapt, no effect on gastric tract, nom some more
>Random Mutation uses Agony Needles!

...and so on. I'm curious as to the knock-on benefit of having your fruit be GODDAMN GRENADES.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sandbox_tree

>>32242886
Hm, probably an explosion can send their seeds far away.

>>32242886
It's good for spreading seeds. It has actually developed independently several times:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rapid_plant_movement#Plants_that_spread_seeds_or_pollen_by_rapid_movement

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>>32239817
>mfw wasp larvae weren't implanted

>>32241599
West End of Glasgow.

>>32240173
>>32240296

Parasite Confirmed as Original Tyranid. We must go on a crusade to purge this unclean abomination

>>32241146
Parisians

>>32242886
If I recall, aren't there Cacti that shoot needles when anything gets too close

Also I have one thing to say: Bobbit Worm http://youtu.be/3H4J5QDQeA4

>>32242098

Plants are fun.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Manchineel

Watch out for this in Florida, especially if it rains.

Also breathing in its is not advisable, ever.

>>32244195

>in its vicinity

>>32238696
>the neets of the animal kingdom

Threads like these make me glad I live in a cold climate. Where anything that will kill you weighs at least a few hundred pounds.

>>32237459
i used to keep some shrikes as pets. if i stuck their bugs on spikes before they did they would take it off and move it.

>>32244195
>en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Manchineel
>The Caribs used the sap of this tree to poison their arrows and would tie captives to the trunk of the tree, ensuring a slow and painful death.

Good god, why

>>32245017

Because fuck you guys for not being us guys.
Basically the motivation for every terrible thing anyone's ever done ever.

>me before this thread
Oh, my neck hurts a bit. Oh well.

>me after this thread
Oh god my neck, it's a parasite! Fuck, 6 inch wasps gonna be eatin their way out of there and squirting their acid in my face before they turn me gay and drown me. Goddamn, the only option is to an hero right now

>>32245962

I for one welcome our new larval overlords.

>>32238081
Welp, I know what I'm having nightmares of now.

>>32245272
>bad things only happen because people can't accept other people - if everyone just understood that we're all the same underneath, and that our differences are only superficial, everything would be wonderful.
or, maybe, they did those things because the neighbouring tribe had raided them, killed a couple of their brothers and stolen their wives and children.

generally the motivation for doing terrible things to other people is that they've done terrible things to you first, or would if they got the chance. Of course, in a world where EVERYONE is doing terrible things to each other all the time, it's easy to filter those out and just fall back on 'xenophobia' as a facile explanation for war and violence.

>>32241253
>Finland. There's absolutely nothing nope living here.

what about the Finns?

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Simo_H%C3%A4yh%C3%A4

>>32244068
>Bobbit worm

"these worms can grow to sizes of nearly 3 m (9.8 ft)"

well I guess I'm never going in the water again.

>Another Bobbit worm, three and a half feet long and a few inches thick, was found October 7, 2013 in Maidenhead Aquatics in Woking, Surrey
oh, well fuck that shit, I live near there. Can they get out of a tank? Scratch that, I'm never leaving the house again.

>>32238081
Fucking love velvet worms, imagine sandworm sized ones.

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http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3H4J5QDQeA4&feature=youtu.be

Yes, flamable gas evaporates from the plant and yes, it is toxic to the point of causing first degree burns.

>>32238969
=D
Seriously, I love these creepy ass examples of mother natures psycho streak.

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>>32237498

>>32247115
Wrong video m80

>>32239265
You've got Rattlers, Africanized bees, and Hillbillies. That's relatively tame compared to the other shit in this thread.

>>32239662
>http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sistrurus_catenatus

You only have one poisonous snake but you have Grizzly Bears, Wolverines, Cougars, and pissed off Moose running around too.

>>32237498
>What are elephants and gorillas?

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>>32240488
Same here and I can tell you we have almost everything that's in this thread in our state because of the exotic pet trade.

Cobras, monkeys, pythons and anacondas, snakefish, every single parasite you can imagine, some foreign wasps, killer bees, I can go on farther but it would just be redundant.

For any non-Floridians in this thread the gators are the least of your problems; we really couldn't give less of a shit about them at this point.

The singularity cannot come soon enough. Only when my flesh is replaced with cold steel will I be able to rest again.

>>32249762

Orcas are meant to be pretty smart too.

>>32249882

Bitch please. Most likely scenario is that you'll be broken down into your constituent sub-atomic particles to be made into something else by some asshole's universal assembler.

>>32244834
I can have a pet shrike? Where do I sign up?

>>32250045
As long as I get to stay in nice, sterile space I don't care. No parasites in space, no molds, viruses or insects in space. Just endless calm, relaxing vacuum.

>>32250165
there are probably organisms that have learned to adapt in a vaccuum

I imagine they float dormant for thousands of years until they find matter that's nutrient-rich enough to satisfy their needs
and then they dissolve it

>>32250112
find their eggs. take some, then run like hell because the parents will attack you.

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>>32239135

Okay, thanks. Somebody give me a hand, please.

>>32245017
Why, you ask, why? I'll tell you.

They're savages! Savages! Barely even human!

Savages! Savages!

>>32237404
I live in Arizona. It's pretty grim, but the overbearing sun is anything but dark.

Let me paint you a picture. Here, it's a crime to deny anyone water for any reason. All public venues must distribute water to anyone who asks, free of charge, no questions asked. It doesn't matter if it's a bank, pet store, whatever. Therebis a yearly competition where we see who can cook an egg on the sidewalk the fastest. Most buildings don't bother installing heating. Anything pressurized left in a car will explode, metal is always scalding, and 95 degrees is a cool summer day.

The plants are all adorned in spikes. Most are passive, but a few are agressive and will shoot spikes that burrow about two inches into your skin if you get too close.

The animal life is just as bad. Most rocks have hide poisonous snakes or scorpions, both of which are everywhere. The lizards shoot jets of blood from their eyes if you bother them, while the other variety is huge, aggressive, and poisonous. Black widows have a monopoly on the shade. There are very few bugs here, common pests like mosquitoes are virtually nonexistant. Instead we have cazadores, africanized bees, and the odd flesh eating beetle.

Despite this, the sun is still the biggest threat. Not even the wildlife will face it, prefering to burrow during the day. Our land has no clouds, so burning concrete is the only source of shade. Life expectancy without water or shade is measured in hours. Snowbirds (people) die here regularly trying to escape colder weather. Once a year, every year, it will rain, drowning any animals that couldn't find high ground.

To the north lies a land taken over by a fanatical cult, to the west a prosperous land of eternal good weather. To the east is Texas.

But y'know, it's a dry heat.

>>32251569
>no mosquitoes
It sounds like paradise

>>32238756
>"Hahahahaha! My master plan is COMPLETE!"

>>32251803
I'd trade tarantula hawks for mosquitoes in a heartbeat anon.

>>32251884
As an Ausfag I would have to say you are completely sane.
Those are the things that end up as Cazadores in Fallout.

>>32251899
You know how the wasteland in new vegas is like that just because it's the mojave and not because of nukes? Arizona is basically the same except hotter and with more cacti.

>>32238081
Damn nature, you scary!

>>32238081
It's like a predatory land-hagfish!

Or something from one of my Chinese cartoons..,

>>32249464
Don't forget fucking cottonmouths bro. I've ran into three of those fuckers while I was hiking.

>>32251952
My condolences. Truly you live in hell.

>>32238756
tinylancerwithgargantuanpersonallieutenantinFC.jpg

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>>32251569
>Fellow AZfag

Brother in pain!

Good news, the heat is dropping for a week to a 'mild' 86-91!

If you live in the Tucson area, anyway.

If you are a valleyfag I sincerely apologize.

Also you forgot to post these. Nature's Caltrops!

They are EVERYWHERE. They grow on a vine that digs into the ground and presents only a thin, spiny vine to your view. You may as well shovel out the whole patch, because you will never dig out all the roots.

>>32237478
You mean action movie, I was in india this past month with family over there, I threw a piece of cake into the small uncultivated field in front of the house that stretches the lenght of the driveway.

Multiple tribes of ants fought out for the motherload, it looked like the red fire ants were the most powerful and were turning the tide to their favour until the black ones from the mound to ward the cement low wall that penned the growth in.

They fucked that shit up until the wasps came along.

I had to leave because I got stung by two wasps but still worth it. Fucking natural war, that is like their state for food.

>>32252155
I felt I had that covered in the "all plants are adorned in spikes" bit. I'm a chandlerfag unfortunately, so no cool 91 for me.

My orange tree bloomed with the driest oranges I've ever eaten recently though, so there's that.

>>32244834
You were messing up its feng shui man!

>>32252338
i figured i was putting it on the wrong ones, but apparently they just like stabbing it on themselves.

>>32252324
I just wanted to make sure we had established that Arizona is covered in tiny, rock-hard plant fiber caltrops. People might have assumed you were just talking about the cacti.

One time, I went to pull one out of my foot, and it slipped into the side of my finger under the fingernail.

Yeah, fuck those things.

>>32252404
Maybe it's some kind of sexual thing?

>>32252465
Don't forget the burs that magically cover any sort of cloth you foolishly take outside. Oh and bears/mountain lions manage to survive here somehow, because fuck you that's why.

At least flagstaff is nice, if you can ignore the lack of air.

>>32252465
>remove caltrop from foot
>gets stuck in fingernail
I... Don't know how to appropriately sympathize with you
I got a wood chip stuck in my foot but it didn't try to fuck me up one last time as I had it removed

Quick question related to setting types
"Borderlands" is nobledark right?

>>32252553
Along with goathead, this lovely weed also has names like 'devil's thorn' and 'puncturevine'.

PUNCTUREVINE.

Also the seeds remain viable for up to seven years, so it's basically an impossibly hardy invasive species that won't even burn right.

>>32252508
i have to assume it is.

>>32252601
Sounds like some grimdark METAL album

>>32252582
its like a shiny grimdark. the vault hunters are awful people and the world is full of things that want to eat you. except its really sunny. like darksun

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>>32252601
Jumping cactus is still the worst

Its a fucking plant that will actively attack you

>>32252637
Well it's clearly dark I was just wondering if the clear sense of agency the player charactes have was enough to make it not grim, or if the fact that all your efforts are focused on literally a single task forever made it super grim

>>32252730
its still pretty grim. you make very little difference in the long run aside from killing the giant monster. at most the bad guys change armor color.

>>32252766
Alright thanks for helping

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>>32237726
How does it compare to Watership Down or Plague Dogs?

>>32246142
I think the point was that it all starts with and never ends becuase of a "we're better then you" attitude. I mean why'd the other tru=ibe raid them in the first place?

>>32249882
You think nanoplagues will be any less scary? Wait until some rampant AI decides the best thing to do with Ants is upgrade them into cyber ants who build nests inside your computer.

>>32250165
You do realize that germs love space and that the ISS crew is fighting a constant battle to keep everything disinfected?

Zero gravity makes germs multiply faster, and radiation means more random mutations which can lead to adaptations. Germs are better astronauts than we are, what makes us week is what makes them strong.

For fuck sake /tg/...

>>32238838

>Polygynous ants confirmed for actual Drow overlords

>>32256569
What? Everything was mostly on topic.

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>>32249882
Anon, consider the fact that the computer virus wasn't just some malfunctioning program that was accidentally unleashed. It was a deliberate fabricated lifeform that men have intentionally programmed to be more and more sophisticated.

Imagine now, what would happen when the human brain is digitized.

>>32237742
>And most are extremely small, some are about the size of a amoeba.
How is that even possible? It's like: "we build really small houses. Some of them are even smaller than the bricks we use to build them."

>>32257601
Some amoebas are really huge

>>32249882

>The singularity cannot come soon enough

Uh, what do you think the industrial revolution was? It was the only singularity we could ever have.

There's a difference between science fiction and reality.

>>32256998

>Imagine now, what would happen when the human brain is digitized.

"If", not "when"

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>>32257625
Shit is still crazy.

>>32257638
But there isn't. Science fiction has, by and large, predicted what reality can do.

>>32257694

I can't imagine what outlandish things you're cherry picking to make that statement.

>>32257694
>Science fiction has, by and large, predicted what reality can do.
Where's my flying car, sliver bodysuit, and fembot, you bastard? A dream deferred is a dream denied!

>>32257691
It doesn't seem like they're operating at the same size-frame at all. I mean, you've got single cell organisms with funky bits floating around inside them, and then you've got this fully-formed and recognizable wasp comprised of I-don't-know-how-many cells (but apparently 7,400 neurons alone) that you can't even begin to distinguish in this pic.

>>32257691
How. Just, fucking, how? How is that possible? Is it made up extra small cells? This shit is blowing my mind.

>>32257739

And FTL. Science fiction more or less hinges on the concept, but besides quack science like alcubierre drive nobody has come close to proving Einstein and SR wrong.

It's quack science because the equations contain the miracle of exotic matter that we only hope exists because the equations won't work without it.

Just like i can disprove thermodynamics by plugging in a material that can stop entropy in a closed system.

math is fun that way.

>>32257745

It just has a shitload of lipids and large organelles. It's like a fat person.

>>32257745
>Is it made up extra small cells?
Yup, the cells its made of are actually at the predicted value for how small eucaryote cells can get, the organism as a whole is also at the predicted size for how small an insect can get.
Also a lot of things are not necessary at that size, like breathing. Its muscles are made of only one muscle cell and everything else is extremely reduced.

Also this >>32257765

>>32257765
The amoeba I can kind of get. I mean, you could just keep stuffing more fluid and shit in that big wad of goo, but it's the paramecium next to the wasp that boggles my mind. But yeah, I guess we're dealing with super large one-cell organisms and super tiny multi-celled ones. The main thing that gets me is how the exoskeleton looks like any other, even at this size. Like you can't see a latticework of cells, or even a peppering of cell dots.

>>32239173
Nothing dangerous in Switzerland, right ?

>>32257800
You can make cells very small if you need to.

pic: Tinkerbella nana, with 170 µm about 50% bigger than the other wasp we've been talking about.

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>>32257830
forgot pic, hurr

>>32257830
Pic is so small, you can't even see it.

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>>32257843
And here is the record holder: The male of Dicopomorpha echmepterygis. Everything is extremely reduced. Antenna consists of one segment, no eyes, no foot except arolium, almost no organs. Never leaves the egg it hatches in. Only lives for a few hours.

>>32257830
The pic of the wasp and paramecium still hits me like putting a flea next to an elephant and saying they're the same size. Like they're built for different worlds.

>>32257861
You know, if you squint hard enough you can see amoebas with the naked eye. Maybe even a very well fed Paramecium. Some Protozoa get quite big.

Don't compare these to bacteria. Bacteria are prokaryotes, and prokaryotes are much, much smaller.

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>>32257825
>Nothing dangerous in Switzerland, right ?
Other than these guys and those knives that use non-Euclidian geometry to house every utensil in your kitchen (there are forces at work that man wasn't mean to meddle with)?

>>32257825
press ctrl+f and search for "wikipedia". Go to these wikipedia links. If the article you are looking at has no "Distribution" section the parasite in question is distributed globally.

>>32257912
Oh you don't want to know what sacrifices we had to make to create those knifes

Let's just say there are many forgotten civilisations

>>32257895
You know, when I was in grade school, I wanted to make up a game where single-celled organisms would fight, pitting cilia vs. flagella and trichocysts vs. phagocytosis, etc. But I didn't know enough microbiology, so I couldn't come up with the variety of movements, attacks and so forth that I needed.

>>32253371
So keep the infected meatsacks and their air planetbound.

Well, if you think cold can save you.
Here, in deep taiga we have small ticks. They wait for their prey on leaves, tall grass, everywhere. You can barely see them. The bite is painless and they bury thir heand and jaws deep in the skin. Later, you find its blood-filled body and remove it, trying not lo live its head inside your skin.
But now you have a very real chance to be infected by a virus that destroys your brain. Enjoy.

>>32257970
That sounds really fun, actually. Maybe as a flash game. You know open environment, customization. Like the first stage of Spore, except not shit.

>I couldn't come up with the variety of movements, attacks and so forth that I needed.
I'm not a biologist either, but I'm a biologist and I know that I have a 2000 page brick of a book on microbiology somewhere. Give me a minute.

>>32258000
>I'm not a biologist either, but I'm a biologist
But at least I don't have Alzheimer's.

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>>32258033
Ok that made me laugh, meant to write microbiologist.

Here is a overview over the groups of protists. You can google the individual things to see how they look and what they do.
Also you should take a look at this: http://www.microbiologybytes.com/video/motility.html
I know its about bacteria but it aplies to many protists as well.

As for "moves" or "attacks", there's something that Paramecium can do that is like throwing out mini stinging cells called trichocysts.

>>32258096
Forgot to add: The ones that probably interest you are Ciliata, Foraminifera, Apicomplexa and Dinoflagellates

>>32257859
That whole thing just looks poorly or lazily constructed. Like a combination of paper mache and wrapping some kind of shrink-wrap plastic around a roughly bug-shaped base. And then not shrinking it well, and never bothering with the little details bugs are supposed to have, like all those weird moth parts.

>>32237553
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Animals_of_Farthing_Wood_(TV_series)

>>32241866
>>The sting is known to be potent enough to kill humans, and it can also kill dogs and horses.
>>You can even get nose bleeds from these silicon hairs floating in the air
>>foresters and surveyors are today supplied with respirators as a precaution
>>Queensland road surveyor A.C. Macmillan reported to his boss that his packhorse “was stung, got mad, and died within two hours”.
>>Australian ex-serviceman Cyril Bromley told of an officer shooting himself after using a stinging-tree leaf for “toilet purposes”
>>Senior conservation officer with the Queensland Parks and Wildlife Service, Ernie Rider will never forget the day in 1963 that he was slapped in the face, arms and chest by a stinging tree. "The stinging persisted for two years and recurred every time I had a cold shower ... Stinging trees are a real and present danger.”
>>"In 1968 the Chemical Defence Establishment at Porton Down (a top-secret laboratory that developed chemical weapons) contracted a Professor of Pathology at the University of Queensland, to dispatch stinging-tree specimens.
Jesus fucking Christ that's horrifying

>>32238081
Holy shit, they are social and hunt together.
And have penii on their heads.

We live on a Death World, don't we?
I suggest destroying our whole ecosystem and rebuilding it from the scratch. With something that isn't so creepy.

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>This fucking thread

Goddamit /tg/, now my neck feels itchy

>>32259379
>We live on a Death World, don't we?
Very unlikely. Just imagine what a non death-world would be like, no parasites, no harmful bacteria, no apex predators. Everything is generally harmless and cooperative.

All it takes to upset that balance is one exploiter. A single organism that goes "nah fuck this, I'll go viral" or something along those lines. That organism would be very, very successful, and everyone else would have to adapt. And BAM you go into the arms race that is evolution. "Happy garden world" just doesn't work.

Imagine a forest where all trees agreed on growing to the same hight, because growing high is exhausting. Once that one asshole comes along and grows slightly higher he has an advantage, he has more offspring that also grows higher, the friendly tress either die out or adapt and try to grow as high as possible too.

Eventually only the assholes will remain.
(Yes, that is why trees grow so high, btw.)