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/tg/ - Traditional Games


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You are Shax Bonemurder, Raid Leader! You just lead a raid on raiders and raided the ships they were raiding, proving you are the best raiding leader that has ever lead a raid. You don't need recognition for this, even if you sorta wish there was some sort of trophy you could carry around that says '#1 Raid Leader' or something. Oh well! Not like you needed one, anyway! Yesterday you did a lot of shopping and got all kinds of loot, which you now need to split with these kuo-toa.


>CURRENT RAID ROSTER: You don't have a raid group right now!
>CURRENT ADVENTURE PARTY: http://pastebin.com/tZ3saVGK
>ABILITY TREE: http://pastebin.com/aBfqv1vP
>CHARACTER Point: 1
>I'm the boss! Points: 0


>31/40 BtB exp
>34/40 MSiF exp
>2/40 CyRCTHaM exp
>7/16 FMMM exp, 2/2 Tidal Points

The boats mostly had a bunch gold in them, which was easy enough to split up. Various supplies and sundries which you claimed a few of. Outside of that, there were only a few magical items that caught your eye. You can make a case to take one of them, since you broke the stalemate, but the kuo-toa still did most of the work! So you can't take them all. They all seem sorta cool?

Which one do you want, bosS?

>Amber Amulet of Vermin: Giant Wasp - You can summon a giant bug to carry you around through the air once per day. Lasts for one minute.

>Jade Amulet of Felines - Summon a large jade housecat to ride for five minutes, once per day.

>Ring of Third Eye's Clarity - Large resistance to being stunned by physical attacks.

>Chalice of True Seeing - Once per day, you may drink from the chalice to see through all illusions for an hour.
>>
>>31452050
>Chalice of True Seeing - Once per day, you may drink from the chalice to see through all illusions for an hour.
>>
>>31452050
Did we bring our mounts with us?
>>
>>31452050
>Ring of Third Eye's Clarity - Large resistance to being stunned by physical attacks.
>>
>>31452050
>Ring of Third Eye's Clarity - Large resistance to being stunned by physical attacks.
Party tank
>>
>>31452095

Yep, but it isn't like they can go everywher!
>>
>>31452050
>Amber Amulet of Vermin: Giant Wasp - You can summon a giant bug to carry you around through the air once per day. Lasts for one minute.

I really like all the options that we keep getting in this quest.
>>
>>31452050
>Chalice of True Seeing - Once per day, you may drink from the chalice to see through all illusions for an hour.
Obviously the best choice. Because illusions suck.
>>
>>31452165

I try to include all the items I remember loving in DnD
>>
>>31452050
>Chalice of True Seeing - Once per day, you may drink from the chalice to see through all illusions for an hour.
>>
>>31452050
>Chalice of True Seeing - Once per day, you may drink from the chalice to see through all illusions for an hour.
Aww yisss.
>>
>>31452050
Would the Chalice work for the whole party drinking from it or does it just work once a day period?
>>
>>31452050
>Ring of Third Eye's Clarity - Large resistance to being stunned by physical attacks.
Go all the way for hardcore melee giant sword swinging loli goblin
>>
>>31452050
>Ring of Third Eye's Clarity - Large resistance to being stunned by physical attacks.

Also Awesome new art! We the cutest.
>>
>>31452211

Just once a day period.
>>
>>31452177
Man sometimes I lived somewhere where people play roleplaying games. Then I remember I suck at role playing.
>>
>>31452050
That cannot be Shax. She looks so reliable and beautiful!
>>
Alright! Writing!
>>
>>31452224
>We the cutest.
Imma be honest: Too much cute, not enough Goblin.

She's a cutest goblin, not "indistinguishable from half-elf" cutest
>>
>>31452237
It's what Shax sees when looking in a mirror.
>>
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>>31452050
Oh hey!
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>>31452271
What if Shax IS a half-elf?
>>
>>31452282
nice one anon

>>31452259
hope chalice won, that ring is pretty swag but we need some defense against magic.
>>
>>31452273
So, she is looking at a magic mirror that shows the person looking beautiful and reliable? Now it makes perfect sense.
>>
>>31452050
>>Jade Amulet of Felines - Summon a large jade housecat to ride for five minutes, once per day.
Just for the drizzit jokes
>>
>>31452307
Then she would have been murdered at birth and fed to the other goblin childns for being malformed..
>>
>>31452282
That really rocks, Anon!
>>
>>31452333
Apparently goblins being half something is common. I still think that shax might be half squid face.
>>
>>31452317
Ring seemed to be the winner. We would need to know we were up against an illusion and drink from the chalice, so chalice has more limited use. I am sure it would be useful where we are going though. But the ring is not bad either, it will always be useful.
>>
>>31452356
Nah, illathids reproduce by sticking a larva in your ear that turns you into another illathid. Also, I think their junk might fall off.
>>
>>31452358
I count a tie unless Chief counted >>31452211
as a vote.
>>
>>31452386
>Also, I think their junk might fall off.
How did you think they managed to stick their larvae in people's ears?
>>
>>31452525
Testicles: They aren't just for sucking!
>>
You have a hard time deciding which item to get. On one hand, the ring would make you way better at taking hits. You bet you could even shrug off blows of that annoying axe girls with it! On the other hand you are naturally paranoid of illusions. That chalice sure would put your mind at ease when it comes to that sort of thing.

"Can I have both of those?" You ask, deciding to push your luck. These dudes worship the person who thinks you're super, right? Maybe you can get away with it. You point at the ring and the chalice. They are shiny, too, which is maybe the best part.

"Hey, now, I know you're pretty great and all, but we did still do most of the work, here. The many servants of the Sea Mother would be upset if she did not get her proper tribute and dues from this raid."

Darn. Oh well. You can't decide so you'll just have to flip a coin. After flicking it in the air, and catching it, you slap it on your wrist. Heads. Guess you'll take the Chalice. You shove it into a pack quickly, and chat some with the fish guys before they take off. The ship captain is waiting patiently for you when you get back, and haul anchor and set sail shortly after your return.

Fetid apparently fought off the pirates almost single handedly just by sniping them out of the air. That guy is dangerous! Good thing he is on your side.

You see Lanketh on the horizon.

>Find a port and land. They may be undead enslaving demons, but they can't be all that bad.
>Let's land on a shore somewhere, and avoid the major cities. Who knows what kinda trouble is in those places.
>>
>>31452633
>Let's land on a shore somewhere, and avoid the major cities. Who knows what kinda trouble is in those places.
>>
>>31452633
>>Find a port and land. They may be undead enslaving demons, but they can't be all that bad.
We will need to interact with some of them to find our target anyways. Lets make some friends.
or make some enemies and beat into friends.
>>
>>31452633
>Find a port and land. They may be undead enslaving demons, but they can't be all that bad.
They'll either bow down to us or get their ass kicked by us.

Make our entrance as flashy as possible.
>>
>>31452633
>Let's land on a shore somewhere, and avoid the major cities. Who knows what kinda trouble is in those places.
>>
>>31452633
>Find a port and land. They may be undead enslaving demons, but they can't be all that bad.
We have to start off making friends, not suspecting everyone of being a baddie.
>>
>>31452633
>Let's land on a shore somewhere, and avoid the major cities. Who knows what kinda trouble is in those places.
>>
>>31452356
>Apparently goblins being half something is common.
Most half-goblins are be fine, so long as they still look appropriately gobliny.

A half elf goblinoid would look probably pale and sickly, though.
>>
>>31452633
>Find a port and land. They may be undead enslaving demons, but they can't be all that bad.
>>
>>31452633
>>Find a port and land. They may be undead enslaving demons, but they can't be all that bad.
>>
>>31452633
>Find a port and land. They may be undead enslaving demons, but they can't be all that bad.
Dragon lady said the country we're going to might help against the country with the artefact, right?
>>
Alright! We're the boldest people around. Let's land! Writing.
>>
>>31452827
Whelp, there goes the ship. Wonder how we're going to get home since non of our guys are sailors...
>>
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Oh, and there was a contest? I only just heard about that.
>>
>>31452865
We're just going to have to master the art of spinning
>>
>>31452961
True, if Shax can breathe under water she'd make a great propeller.
>>
>>31452865
By the time we are done with this continent we surely will have find a way for passage back home even if this ship and its crew are gone.
>>
>>31453010
Or you could just use her as a turbine
>>
You set sail for one of the nearest ports of Lanketh. You're not too clear on the geography of this continent, but you aren't too worried about it. You figure you can just talk to someone in this city to figure out everything you need to know! I mean, that's what cities are for, right?

You land on a really pale port, and wobble a bit before you recover your legs. Being on a boat is really fun, but you don't know if you'd make a career out of it. You're impressed by those sailors who can do it all day. Shipping, I dunno, oranges or whatever. You had a lot of stuff like that back at your camp on the other continent, but food would always spoil pretty quick. You never got used to that. Having more food than you could eat.

Now, you're a goblin, and you are no stranger to bones and bone carvings. And you're pretty sure this entire port is made out of bone. Which is pretty impressive. And also creepy. The captain and his people unload some cargo and speak to the portmaster. Some goods are traded and he lets you know you can step into the city. "Travelers are rare here, but not unheard of. This city has most of the trade Lanketh gets, so you won't be that out of place. Try to stick to the foreign quarter. You don't have guaranteed safe passage anywhere else. I'm sure you can handle yourself, though." With that, the captain tips his cap at you and you go on your way.

There are a large amount of rotting corpses shuffling around fully cloaked in drab robes that are mostly used as labor. The people who appear to be natives are large ape-like demons with blazing red eyes. There are several varieties in size, fur color, and temperment, but most of them are ignoring you. You briefly wonder where they find the corpses to reanimate.

Where to boss?

>Explore the foreign quarter!
>Explore the temple district!
>Explore the manufacturing quarter!
>Explore the residential district!
>>
>>31453139
>Explore the temple district!

Maybe there's a shrine to the Sea Mother! Or more dark elves!
>>
>>31453139
>>Explore the foreign quarter!
>>
>>31453139
>Explore the foreign quarter!
See if we can find a base to hide out once we start poking this hornet's nest.
>>
>>31453139
explore temples we like things from beyond with great power. Maybe we can be friends with it.
>>
>>31453139
>Temples

The Sea Mom demands it.
>>
>>31453139
>Explore the temple district!
We are prophet or sword or something to a goddess. So it is a sure thing that gods, goddesses and whatnot like us.
Also look if there is a shrine or something for Sea Mother. There may be since the city has a shore to open sea.
>>
We should kill The Hungerer and become the new goblin god.
>>
>>31453139
>Explore the foreign quarter!
Get a base of operations up and running.
>>
>>31453246
Pretty sure that's the plan. Though I would prefer we become the Dark God of Baddassery rather than just another racial god.
>>
Alright, writing. Sorry for the time on votes and updates so far, I'm slowly purging distractions from the house. If I had tried to do this before now the thread woulda started two hours later, and I like getting an early start.
>>
>>31453335
No worries OP, just do what you've gotta do over there and keep feeding us delicious content as you can!

Also, thanks for running this quest. I've been here for a few threads now and hadn't said that yet, but definitely wanted you to know I appreciate all the fun you make this crazy thing.
>>
>>31452909
I really like your Shax.
>>
Rolled 47

>>31453335
The dice gods have forsaken this quest as well, but Sharx will soon surpass the dice gods. Maybe make them an offering.
>>
>>31453335
I love the early starts. They are the best.
>>
From what you remember, every place on this continent was, like, super religious. That means all the important people are going to be in the temple district. Seems like a good place to hit up first! You and your party waltz into the religious quarter straight away.

Allonces is glancing around nervously, "I don't like the looks we're getting here, Shax..." She's right. There seems to be a prevelence of white-fur apes in this area, and they are all giving you short stares. Maybe foreigners aren't seen here often?

"It's not so bad, we're just strangers in a place they take very seriously, I'm sure." Sitri smiles and waves, "I've been in dozens of places like this. Just don't do anything overtly offensive and you'll be fine."

Brokagh taps you on the shoulder, and points at a couple of temples. "I recognize some of these sigils. There are many orders here who practice an ascetic lifestyle. It seems there are gods on display here that are not specific to those of Lanketh."

You yawn a bit, "You familiar with any of them? Think any would help us out?" Brokagh shakes his head, "What about you Sitri, you recognize any temples that might be friendly?"

Sitri cocks an eyebrow and gives you a look, "Most of these temples are not exactly worshippers of friendly gods. I can't even see any signs for underground temples to some of the more neutral gods here. It is definitely all strictly death, murder, and other unpleasant cults as far as I can tell." Oh great, a temple district of only mean gods. "I don't even see one for the Sea Mother, and she isn't exactly a nice one."

Any particular temple you want to hit up?

>The Hungerer's Hovel
>Lanketh's patron diety, Varunka, god of bone and blood.
>Brokagh's god, Durget. He isn't particularly devout, but he knows people there.
>Sitri's choice!
>Allonces says she recognizes the Drow God Melin'kaelis' temple.
>>
>>31452909
That's a great Shax anon, a bit big headed though. Good job.
>>
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>>31453644
>Allonces says she recognizes the Drow God Melin'kaelis' temple.

Maybe we could set up a Sea Mother shrine? I'm sure she'll teach us the basics if we concentrate hard enough.
>>
>>31453644
>Sitri's choice!
Let's see if she can earn her keep, the other two options don't seem too great.
>>
>>31453644
>>Lanketh's patron diety, Varunka, god of bone and blood.
Bone and blood sound like it would have an impact on this continent.
>>
>>31453644
>Sitri's choice!
She seems to know the most about this stuff.
>>
>>31453644
>The Hungerer's Hovel
For some reason, this sounds like a restaurant.
>>
>>31453644
>>Sitri's choice!
>>
>>31453644
>Sitri's choice!
>>
>>31453644
>Allonces
>>
>>31453644
>The Hungerer's Hovel
I'm curious what out god is all about besides eating goblins.
>>
>>31453644
>Lanketh's patron diety, Varunka, god of bone and blood.
Make nice with the locals. Not like we are strangers to murder anyway.
>>
>>31453695
>>31453722
>>31453740
>>31453743

Have you guys no noticed that Sitiri tends to make terrible, impulsive choices?
>>
>>31453775
thats the point this wouldn't be Giant Weapon quest without those terrible choices.
>>
Alrighty, writing!
>>
>>31453806
Hey thats not fair. We have been abnormally good at making choices for a goblin, Its our luck that keeps fucking things up.
>>
>>31453775
To be fair, these all seem like terrible choices. Why not give her a chance to prove us wrong?
>>
>>31453864
Actually, Shax has shown questionable competence and decision making skills throughout this whole quest and it's a miracle everything is working out despite our shit luck. We spent most of our time doing whatever the fuck we felt like on side quests than raiding and every last choice has been a mostly impulsive "wouldn't it be cool fun if..." type thing. Even when us players try to play things smart, IC-wise, Shax is just stumbling through with really childish, dimwitted logic and short-sighted decision.

We've been abnormally successful for a goblin, yes, but that's mostly because of the genre of the story.

It's more fun/funny this way.
>>
>>31454050
On the other hand all of her actual raiding plans have been great success.
>>
>>31453246
He cant even complain, since hunger is his mandate
>>
Sitri seemed to know what she was talking about earlier! "So, you recognize most of these temples?"

Sitri nods, "Well, at least, the signs on the temples. That one is Scrabanok, scorpion god of flesh eating." Gross. "There is Maelikennen, god of flaying. Him and Scrabanok are close friends." You guess that makes sense. "Here is the burning cauldron of Yelitith, the writhing mass of mouths who spreads illiteracy." That seems like an odd thing to be a god of. "Morbulog, who is, of course, the incredibly powerful god of allergic reactions. His domain spreads far and wide." She goes on for a long time introducing various evil gods.

Fetidclaw clears his throat to cut her off, "While this is all very educational, do you have a suggestion as to where we can try to find someone to help out? Any temple you can think of that wouldn't be too happy about the ancestor worshipping country we're trying to get into?"

Sitri covers her mouth, "Oh! I'm sorry, I got sidetracked there. Anti-ancestor Worship, hmmm. There is a cannabalistic god whose worshippers often eat their parents in order to gain their knowledge."

"Pass." "No thanks." "Gross." "I don't know who my parents are." "I don't think my dad would like that." "My parents are dead."

She tilts her head, "Okay, well, how 'bout this place? One of Sintalika's main practices is burying people alive, and then dancing on the ground as the person slowly suffocates."

"Oh fucking hell that is horr-" "Who would even wa-" "Please don't make us-"

You think about it, "He'd be pretty mad about people getting out of the ground then? Let's go visit." You stride into the shabby temple while everyone else is still freaking out about being buried alive. You'd think most of them hadn't been raised in a cave-based society.
>>
You don't see anyone here. "Hey, I'm Shax! Anyone here?"

Sitri taps you on the shoulder and puts a finger over her lips. "Sintalika is a god whose domains include darkness and silence." Oh. "I'd wait patiently for a priest to show up." As her harsh whispers die off, a peaceful silence settles in. Allonces grips your shoulder and starts huddling near you. Oh yes, she is freaking out, this is worth the price of admission.

You hear familiar snoring. Bearbreath musta gone to sleep. Brokagh is constantly chewing on some sorta plant, and Fetidclaw is cleaning his knives and doing some routine maintenance on his bow. Slowly you hear something slither up. There is a high pitch keening sound that increases as the raspy sounds on the floor approach. You realize it is Allonces.

"Welcome, champion, to the realm of Sintalika. I see you have the favor of the Sea Mother. A staunch ally, she is. Many have drowned in her murky depths. What brings you to our place?" The shape is an indistinct form near you. You have darkvision, but this place has some sort of mystical enchantment that your eyes can't pierce.

"Hey. I'm just seeing if you know anything about Utalaga. I'm on my way there to wreck up the place. Got a map or anything?"

"You came to the abode of deathly silence itself to ask for a map?"

"Yeah, I figured you don't like those people much."

"We don't"

"Neat. So got a map and some pointers for me?"

"For an ally of the Sea Mother, I suppose I can find something for you. Come back tomorrow, and I'll present to you a map, and give you Sintalika's blessing."

You lean over to where you think Sitri is. "Is Sentinel Cat's blessing gonna kill me?"

Sitri whispers back, "I think it is just an enchantment of some kind." Oh, good.

The priest's raspy voice crawls through the air once more, "Is there anything else you wish to ask of me?"

>No thanks bye see you tomorrow have a nice day.
>>Go somewhere else.
>Of course!
>>Write in.
>>
>>31454377
>"Here is the burning cauldron of Yelitith, the writhing mass of mouths who spreads illiteracy."
Just the god we need.
>>
>>31454401
Would you happen to be a snake man? We ran into a snake man not too long ago.
>>
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>>31454377
>"My parents are dead."

Since when is Batman in our party?
>>
>>31454401
>Of course!

Ask if Sintalika needs anything taken care of in Utalaga while we're over there. Then ask the priest some questions about the city and current events.
>>
>>31454377
>"He'd be pretty mad about people getting out of the ground then? Let's go visit."
I hadn't thought of that. That's brilliant.
>>
>>31454457
I agree with this it is what Sharx would do. Maybe we can gain a permanent ally of the dark should help with our raids.
>>
>>31454401
>>No thanks bye see you tomorrow have a nice day.
>Go to foreign quarters
Let's go find a place to stay.
>>
>>31454377
>>31454401
Man this place is just full of buzzkills

Metaphorically AND literally.
>>
>>31454401
> Ask about good sightseeing locations.
>>
>>31454401
>>Go somewhere else.

Foreign quarters. Too bad they didn't have a Sea Mother temple.
>>
Alright. Writing!
>>
>>31454557
Evil people tend to worship evil gods.
>>
>>31454604
Who's the god of Raiding in this setting?
>>
>>31454738
Sharx
>>
>>31454909
It is not Sharx anon.
It is Shax.
>>
Everything is so dry and raspy here, so you break out your flask and hit the strong stuff. Lemonade. After a refreshing swig, you let out a sigh of satisfaction. "Hmm. Thanks, mister priest. So, are you a snake man? You sound kinda like one I met earlier."

"A distant ancestor, perhaps. I am one of the few of the lizardfolk in the city proper. The apes don't worship all the gods, and they shy from this one regularly. They'll distrust you for having Sintalika's favor." Oh, that's great. He couldn't warn you of this ahead of time. "Not enough to effect many things, granted."

Allonces clears her throat, "Ah, pardon me, but I was just wondering if you knew any good sight seeing locations in Lanketh." You can almost hear everyone their heads to look in her general directions. "I mean, we're on an exotic continent, it'd be a waste to not check some things out."

The priest lets you know of a few good restaurants and other locations. Some of them sound pretty cool, like the spine spire that sprays out a fountain of enchanted blood.

"Oh, hey, before I forget," You were about to leave when you remembered to ask, "You don't like Utalaga, right? Is there anything you or Sintalika would want us to do while we're over there?"

"The mortal blade offers support? Very well, there are a few things..." Apparently there is are a few altars he'd like you to destroy to help 'usher a new age of darkness' to the continent of Yselathe. Whatever that means. They'll be circled on the map. You also ask about some of the things going on in the city so you have an idea of what is happening.

The high priests of Lanketh have a council seat open, so there is an amount of politicing going on. There is a festival coming in a few weeks, so a lot of the supplies merhcants are raising prices before festival sales kick in. There has been a serial killer conducting illegal ritual sacrifices around the city for some unknown god.

>Hit up foreign quarter.
>Check out some of the events
>>Specify which
>>
>>31454933
>Hit up foreign quarter.
>>
>>31454933
>Hit up foreign quarter.
>>
>>31454933
check out the council we like to mess with religion.
>>
>>31454933
>Check out some of the events
>Illegal ritual sacrifices
Time to do what we do best, sidequest like a motherfucker.
>>
>>31454933
>Check out some of the events
>>Specify which
Serial killer!
>>
>>31454933
>Check out some of the events
rev up them sacrifices
>>
>>31454933
You know... we could ask Sea Mom what this 'age of darkness' stuff is all about, provided we manage to contact her.
>>
>>31454933
>Check out some of the events
>>Specify which
Sidequest time! Go check out the serial killer.
>>
>>31455036
>You know... we could ask Sea Mom what this 'age of darkness' stuff is all about, provided we manage to contact her.
Yeah we don't want to upset mom
>>
>>31454933
>Hit up foreign quarter.
Let's find a place to stay.
>>
Alrighty. Detective Shax is on the case! Writing.
>>
You stand in the doorway and wave inside. "Alright, thanks for the help. See you tomorrow! Have a nice day! Bye!" Your eyes hurt slightly as you step back outside into the bright sun. This continent is a lot brighter, hotter, and drier than what you're used to. This is probably why people don't like traveling.

Allonces gives you a look, "You know, I was thinking," You avoid making a joke, because you are higher class than that, "You remember back home? There was a rash of ritualistic killings all through the villages in the provinces. You think that is related to the serial killer around here?" Oh, you had forgotten about those.

"I hope not," You say.

Allonces pokes you in the shoulder, "Oh? Why? You scared? Don't worry, I'll protect you, Shax." You doubt that.

Shaking your head, you respond, "Nah, because I was thinking about recruiting those guys. Cultists are okay minions, as long as you don't make them mad." Allonces arches an eyebrow.

"Serious?"

"Yep."

"You're crazy and are going to get us all killed."

"Haven't yet."

You head over to where the latest killing took place. A grizzled ape man with longer facial hair is there, chomping on a still smouldering cigar. He's yelling at various zombies with a ceremonial sash on them. "The dowsers can't find any lingering warrens? We need to know the domain of the god these sacrifices are feeding, dammit." You're at the edge of where a wall of zombies are standing, standing on your tiptoes and looking in. An ape with a board and various writings on it walks up.

"This is the tenth one, Sarge. Each time the body parts in a different formation. It doesn't spell anything as far as I can tell, and we still haven't identified the murder weapon. Natural weapons haven't been disqualified either."

"So we've still got nothing, huh? Damn."

>Butt into their business.
>Wait till later and check the place out yourself.
>>
>>31455399
>Butt into their business.
Shax is ALWAYS relevant to the case!
>>
>>31455399
>Butt into their business.
>>
>>31455399
Butt in and speak big of yourslef.
>>
>>31455399
>Butt into their business.
>>
>>31455399
>Butt into their business.
>>
No cladestine shax, private investigator?

Oh well! Writing.
>>
>>31455537
While Shax excels at sneaking, I don't think secretive PI work is for her.
>>
>>31455537
What kind of stupid clan is desten? I bet it's not as good as clan bonemurder.
>>
>>31455537
How about nosy reporter Shanx looking for a scoop ahead of the big festival? Mention that some of our Elite readership back home might be interested in these developments? Get one of the boyz to start sketching the scene while Allonces scribbles down our notes for us.
>>
>>31455399
>Make the conversation about Shax as it is only just that everyone talks about what boss wants to talk aboutç
>>
>>31455672

If I were to do the background conversations of the party members every update would be 8k words long and take an hour and a half to write.
>>
>>31455694
Worth it.
>>
>>31455694
So, you are saying it would be great?
>>
>>31455694
Sounds good for me.
>>
>>31455694
I would definitively like that, please do it.
>>
>>31455694
You write 8k words in an hour and a half? Damn, you are fast. Why are you not writing so fast in the quest? Come on, step it up.
>>
>>31454455
Hes not, he was just passing in the street.
>>
>>31455694
That would be great and definitively worth the wait.
>>
>>31455719
>>31455744
>>31455747
>>31455775
>>31455843
I'm typically pretty good at picking out what is and isn't a joke through text; I like to think at least. Are you guys being serious, though?
>>
>>31455719
>>31455744
>>31455747
>>31455775
>>31455843

I'll do it once and just once in this thread

>>31455819

I calculated the time after a series of extensive studies in my own-

Wait, no, I just made it up.
>>
>>31455856
This is not like every other place on the internet anon.
>>
>>31455856
I'm serious about it, don't know about the rest.
>>
>>31455886
Same.
>>
You muscle your way through the zombies. "Hello! Excuse me!"

The big ape man looks at you. "Who the hell is this?" he growls.

"Hello I am Shax. Bonemurder. I am a raid leader, and you probably don't know me. Hi. I heard there have been a bunch of serial killings around here?"

The ape man turns back around and signals at some zombies who start walking to you.

"Because there were a bunch back on my continent and I thought maybe they were similar?"

He continues ignoring you.

"C'mon, Sarge. We really have no leads, and we oughta take whatever we can get. With the festival coming up..."

There is a low voiced and heated discussion between the two as they growl at each other for a while.

"Alright, fine. Tell me what you know, girl."

You elbow Allonces, "Yeah, tell him what you know." She gives you a look. Before sighing and turning at the ape man.

"Uh, well. There was a rash of ritualistic sacrifices through several of the more provential villages back home. Dismembered body parts, strange patterns on the walls. Usually one was reported every four days or so. No idea wh-" You elbow her shaprly in the side, and give her a look.

The guy they call 'Sarge' scratches his chin. "All that stuff could have been found out over here, so I'm not sure you're telling me anything new. But, just in case, I might as well have you take a look at the crime scene."

Sitri shifts a little uncomfortably, "Yeah, I'll pass on this for right now. Sorry, boss." Maybe she doesn't like too much gore?

You head into the building. Oh, whaaat, you recognize some of these markings. This reminds you of those guys. The big purple guys with the gross huge eye. You forget what they were called. You raise a finger to your chin and tap it.

"You have any ugly purple people here?"

"Yes." Maybe you should be more specific.

"With a giant gross eye?" The police chief shrugs.

>Go hunt for a library.
>Go grill your subordinates.
>Go looking for a giant purple guy with a gross eye.
>>
>>31456090
>Go grill your subordinates.
>>
>>31456090
>Go grill your subordinates.
>>
>>31456090
>Go grill your subordinates.
It'll be fun! Like a game!
>>
File: 1397430520320.png-(1.13 MB, 1152x720, 201403302327-2.0.png)
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>Gross eye

Oh, and I just remembered: Some guy asked me to make the middle part more readable. Here you go, guy.
>>
>>31456183
you need to update that a bit
>>
>>31456090
>Go looking for a giant purple guy with a gross eye
Because I want to know what they are.
>>
>>31456198
Where's the current chart?
>>
>>31456090
>Go grill your subordinates.
>>
>>31456090
>Go grill your subordinates.
Tel the guy to hunt for a giant purple guy with a gross eye.
>>
Alright! Writing.
>>
>>31456219
Oh right, the pastebin. It's getting a little late.
>>
>>31456219
In the OP. We've bought Like a Stray Cat, Bite of the Snapping Turtle and Longevity of the Non-Goblin.
>>
>>31456313
Now we only need Grouchiness of the Terrapin to unlock Sword Saint.
>>
>>31456444
we need that sword saint.
>>
>>31456183
The middle is much easier to read now. Thanks Anon.
>>
>>31456444
My plan is Terrapin > Sword Saint > Softshell > SMASH N' CRASH
>>
File: 1397432313749.png-(Spoiler Image, 1.51 MB, 1248x780)
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1.51 MB PNG
>>31456294

And done.
>>
>>31452177
We going to get Daern's instant fortress? That was a fun one.
>>
>>31456787
according to your chart we can get sword saint next right?
>>
>>31456787
That rocks Anon! You're doing an awesome job.
>>
>>31456844
>>31456787
or do we have to get all the lines that are going to it to unlock it?
>>
>>31456844
Check the pastebin. It isn't available until wit pick up Terrapin.
>>
>>31456844
We need grouchiness. See that it is a requirement.
>>
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>>31456844
>>31456860
>>31456850
>>
"Did you see the food at the port? I swear dogs eat better shit than that." Brokagh spits as he looks around the crime scene, "I haven't seen an appetizing meal since we got here."

The gnoll ranger nervously toys with his knife. Supernatural stuff has always creeped him out a bit. "I dunno, some of it didn't smell that bad. A bit spicey, but not bad." Fetidclaw eyes flick between the windows and the doors.

"You like their seasoned garbage? I haven't seen just a good slab of salted meat since I've gotten here. This stuff looks like it has been overcooked to hell and back." Brokagh lets loose a loud burp.

Fetidclaw laughs at him, "Aren't you always going on about your body being a temple or something? 'An ascetic lifestyle rewards you with a clear mind and sound body'!"

Brokagh waves his hand as he kicks a piece of body out of the way and stoops down to look at a particular blood spray. "Yeah, there is that, but the real deal is training. Lifting. Practicing. Had a rough day? Go punch your problems outta you. That's my policy."

Fetidclaw nods along, he can understand that somewhat. "Still, I wouldn't knock the food here till you've tried it. Reminds me of food back home. Sometimes you'd get a deer with meat so gamey you had to drown it in spices to get some taste out of it. It's not so bad." The gnoll ranger notices Shax approaching him. "Hey boss. What's up?"

Shax clears her throat loudly, as if about to say something official and important, "Hey, Brokagh. You remember the basecamp, right? You know the big purple guys, right?"

"Gonna have to be more specific, boss. We've had more than a few weirdos in camp after all."

"They got, like, misshapen faces. Big ugly yellow eyes. That sorta thing."

"Ah. Fomorians."

"Yeah! Them. What're they all about? They got a certain god or anything like that?"

"Can't really say, Boss, mostly avoided them. No one liked them very much." Shax can't blame him. She didn't like them either. Well, at least she's got a name, now.
>>
Allonces gets pretty pale. She tried to put up with it, but it is grossing her out a little too much. Well, she lasted longer than Sitri, at least. She steps outside of the crime scene, and sees Sitri looking off into the city, tapping one hoof and shaking her little goat tail to some beat only she hears. Allonces sneaks up on her and grabs her tail.

Sitri whips around and backhands the elf with a mean look on her face, before realizing who she is. "Oh! Allonces! I'm sorry. You wouldn't believe the amount of perverts that do that."

The elf rubs her cheek for a moment. Goat girl has some strength. "You couldn't react cutely? A 'kyaaah' or something? Jeez."

Sitri gives her best smile and raises her hands in mock surrender. "Sorry, sorry! Are you done in there?" A noticeable pause is between the last two words.

"I wouldn't think you'd be squeamish around blood. Haven't you entered multiple gladiatorial competitions?" Allonces has a hard time understand other people some times. "Anyway, what were you looking at? You seemed pretty lost in thought."

The goat girl scratches her thick hair. "Ahh. I was just thinking about how I got here. I come from an old forest filled with kidnapped women and a drunken orgy every other week. The closest thing to a wall I saw for the first fifteen years of my life was some dilapidated ruin in the middle of nowhere. Now I'm here." She spreads her arms out to try and take in the sprawling ivory hewed city. "Wating by government employed zombies in a city of bone and blood while my friend makes a snap decision to investiage a serial killing of a people she neither knows or likes two minutes after she hears the existence of it."

Allonces pats her on the back. "Haha, impulsiveness runs through the whole group. You wouldn't be here if you weren't impulsive, too."
>>
With a nod, Sitri responds, "Oh, aye, and that impulsiveness has led me on a journey all over the world." She gives a dazzling smile, "It's almost enough to inspire a song." A lynx comes sauntering up, stopping to scratch its neck, and then rubs against Allonces' leg. She grabs the tail gently, and scratches its ears idly. Pets have always liked her, and she's always liked them. The shaggy gnoll druid exits the building shortly afterward and walks up to them.

"Hey, the Boss is almost done in there," he says, jerking a thumb at the house, "She's been grilling the whole group about Fomorians. Says it has something to do with the murders." He stops and looks at the two girls, who just sorta staring at him. "The hell you two talking about? Girly shit? Sorry for interrupting, I guess."

Sitri shakes her head, "No, it wasn't that. Just wondering how the boss cracked the case in four minutes flat after arriving here with no previous knowledge."

"Just lucky, I guess," Shax says, ducking out of the door. "Anyway, Bearbreath tell you what's up?" Sitri nods, "Got anything for me, then? You always know stuff."

"Ehehe," Sitri gives a shy laugh and scratches her head, "I don't know much about the fomorians. Hideous, huge, ancient. Insane."

"Know who they worship?"

"I think... Kantoritator? He's one of the lords of madness. There are at least eleven of those, so it isn't a huge deal. But I doubt a fomorian could even fit into that building, boss." She's right. The fomorians back at base camp were way too big to fit in there. Damn, was a dead end after all. "Umm, but. There was an epic poem detailing the exploits of Balonk, the High Fomorian King. He ruled over a hundred thousand misshapen slaves, the mutated workforce of his army. And there is a legend that Fomorians tell each other about the second arrival of Balonk, ushering in a new age of giants."

Shax rubs her chin, "So do you think there is some sorta Balonk cult, then?"
>>
Sitri shrugs, "How should I know? I only know the legends."

"A second age of giants would be bad," Shax says, looking around, "Because I am not a giant. And neither are any of my friends. So we oughta stop it. These legends say anything about what these slaves look like?" Sitri sings a few passages of the epic poem regarding the masses of Balonk's slaves, and Shax writes down the description. "Thanks, Sitri! I'mma give this to the police chief. See if he can't rustle up some suspects. Then we can have a trial!" Sitri refrains from pointing out that a place like this probably doesn't believe in due process.

>On second thought, let's find the criminal ourselves.
>Maybe we'll get a reward! Let's hurry to the chief.
>>
>>31457507
Woo, mega-update!

>Maybe we'll get a reward! Let's hurry to the chief.
>>
>>31457507
Find the criminal ourselves cause were the boss and also more minons.
>>
>>31457425
>>31457451
>>31457481
>>31457507
>1164 words. Nice.
Are you trying to make a point about inter-party banter. Because if so. I'm liking this style.
>>
>>31457507
>On second thought, let's find the criminal ourselves.
>>
>>31457507
>On second thought, let's find the criminal ourselves.
It's probably quicker this way too.
>>
>>31457507
>Maybe we'll get a reward! Let's hurry to the chief.
>>31457564
Did you miss the whole
>>31455694
>>31455719
>>31455744
>>31455747
Thing?
>>
>>31457507
>Maybe we'll get a reward! Let's hurry to the chief.
>>
>>31457507
>Maybe we'll get a reward! Let's hurry to the chief.
>>
Alright, writing!
>>
Loving all the Dominions stuff. Let's hope Shax doesn't get Horror Marked!
>>
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Actually, I need to call the thread here, unfortunately. I'll pick up next time with us getting the description to the chief! I had fun making up the sidequests on the spot and doing the party banter update. I might do those every now and then so the party members will get more characterization, I guess! Since you guys like that.

>You Receive:
>36/40 BtB exp
>34/40 MSiF exp
>8/40 CyRCTHaM exp
>14/16 FMMM exp, 2/2 Tidal Points

You didn't really fight much or do much leadering. But you got sweet loot! And also hung out with one of sea mom's friends. Maybe... an old flame?!

Anyway, sorry for cutting things short! Thank you so much for playing and reading. I'll run again tuesday and we can try to get more side quest stuff done or even explore this awful continent! It is really not the kind of place you'd want to raise your kids.

As a bonus, here is a picture I had comissioned from Larro! I was gonna run a joke one shot called Oversized Kendo Quest: A Maiden's Doki Doki Love Raid and make it a dating game, but I ran out of ideas in the planning stage and my test runs turned out pretty bad so I scrapped the whole thing.

But you still have this! Yay!

I hope I see you guys tuesday, I hope this update (even though it was slow and short) was fun, and I hope you guys stay as awesome as you have been!
>>
>>31458206
Thanks for the thread, it was fun.
>>
>>31458206
Thanks for running!
>>
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>>31458206
Oh well, it's getting way too late anyway.
Good night everyone!
>>
>>31458206
Thanks for the thread, Chief!
>>
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>>31458245
Forgot to update this when we got the new skill.

>>31458206
Thanks for running, Chief!
>>
>>31458245
>that picture

Perfect.

>>31458206
Goodnight!
>>
>>31458303
Oh fuck that, I'm going to bed.
>>
>>31458206
I like the idea, but here is hoping you don't do the banter too much, it already slowed down events considerably compared to how quickly they went before.Before i dropped PGQ it spent around a month or 2 in the same week.
>>
>>31457425
>>31457451
>>31457481
>>31457507
Ahahahah.
Good one Chief. I like you. Full homo


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