Greeting wizards and magicians,I hereby declare the annual Council of Wizards&Magefolk for open. Today we shall discuss some important issues concerning all of us. Our main subject should be dealing with the wyrm outbreak in the west. It's quite possible these malicious animals were created by magic and it would be our duty to deal with them.
>>31296450How much of an outbreak are we talking about? I think we need to know more before doing anything.Who was in charge of the repport?
Get out of my kitchen.
You damn fool.>Metting>The act of trying to talk while on illicit drugs
>>31296450Have we tried Burning them?I feel that setting fire the the west will solve all our wyrm problems forever.
>>31296470Magician Reynolds was in charge of the research.Sadly he was eaten by a wyrm and can only communicate with us through a seer's orb.
>>31296471We have already talked about this, Technocracy! The budget cuts this year don't allow us to use any other place for this meeting.
>>31296494>Picturing dozen of wizards in a crowded kitchen
>>31296490Did he say anything useful, or was it just screaming?... It was just screaming wasn't it?
>>31296509Screaming and crying i'm afraid.
What is this shit?When did we become a Wizard Council? I thought this was the Mage Guild!This isn't a protest against the default commencement imagimancy craft, is it? For heaven's sake!
>>31296509>>31296515Well, he had me read a 400 page report of the situation while holding each page in front of his orb for five minutes.The problem is that Reynolds is running out of mana potions and will soon be incapable of keeping himself shielded from the wyrm digestive system.We might need to start flinging mana potions at the wyrm and hope he'll gobble them up as well.
>>31296518Mages are just like Wizards, only not as cool.So we are wizards now, 'cause we're cool as ice.Especially the ice wizards.
>>31296540I take offense at that remark.
>>31296484But what about the commoners?
>>31296544Just because you're on fire doesn't mean you can't be cool as well.
>>31296450One thing can be certain!We can't blame the warlocks for this. Those innocent and gods-fearing warlocks are our strongest ally! *shifts eyes nervously*
>>31296540>>31296518We reallised a Mage is anyone who use magic. Had we kept the Guild open, we would have had to accept... Bards in our ranks.So now we're the Wizard Council, because we uses Wizardry!
>>31296546Are they Flammable?
>>31296570Wait, I'm no longer allowed to take part at those meetings and get discounts at the market?I protest this change in policy!
>>31296575Yes>>31296560Who let you in?You're no wizard!
>>31296560When did this transition happen? What year?Look, I just spent a few days rummaging around in some of the old mermaid ruins looking for vintage fish/man erotic artwork to add to my stash- component collection. For polymorph spells.Anyway, I demand an explanation! Who decided this? When? Why? As you should all know, 'wizard' has certain political connotations that are entirely unwelcome in this chamber, which should be entirely neutral in order to foster proper discussion of magical theory.I don't know about the rest of you, but I won't be lumped with those dick-sucking king-worshipping monarchists!
Back on topic, I think we can use the crystal ball to send Reynolds mana. All it takes is a prism and a Magical Light of Drunds spell.So, about this repport, what did it says? How many wyrms, what kind, that sort of thing?
STOP THE WAR ON NATURE!WYRMS ARE OUR BRETHREN!DON'T TOUCH WHAT YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND!WIZARDS GO HOME!
>>31296634Is nature that stuff that burns REALLY well?Because we always need more of that kind of stuff.
>>31296621Reynolds was nice enough to tell us that their numbers are innumerable and that they increase exponentially.Supposedly it's the dark slime wyrm we're dealing with.Very dangerous and always hungry.They have not started to grow wings yet as far as we know.
>>31296594 You could have protested at any time on Wizard Network. It was voted two month ago and the change won by unanimous decision.>>31296613"Wizard" simply refers to a magic user who memorise his spells. The fact that the Red Wizards are a political extremist organisation has nothing to do with it.
>>31296613Listen to this radical!I bet he doesn't even have a beard and wear robes covered in stars!
>>31296662Dark slime wyrms? Aren't they immune to magic?
>>31296693I'm sure dropping levitating rocks on them would work.
>>31296726Fire also would work, fire ALWAYS works.
Why don't we charm them with song and lure them into a volcano?
Wizard noun1.a person who practices magic; magician or sorcerer.2.a conjurer or juggler.3.Also, whiz, wiz, [wiz] a person of amazing skill or accomplishment: a wizard at chemistry.4.Computers. a software feature that guides users through complex procedures with step-by-step instructions, often presented in dialog boxes. Origin:1400–50; late Middle English wisard. See wise, -ard
>>31296773Why don't we Charm a volcano and lure it to them?
>>31296773What kind of spell do you propose to do that? I doubt Reevan's Musical Obsession would work on something this big, even if it was vulnerable to magic
>>31296780This is so insane it might actually work!
>>31296808BUT COLLATERAL DAMAGE!Why can't we send those parties always looking to slay dragons and stuff like usual?
>>31296808There isn't any volacano in the west, but...Wait, aren't you a bard?
>>31296819We're broke.All our money went down the sewage when the real estate prices in Desolate Fields of Great Demon dropped after a demonic portal opened over there.Who would've though that area was so demonically active.
>>31296819>>31296833THE TIME FOR WORDS IS OVER!NOW IS THE TIME FOR FIRE AND LAVA!>>31296808GET ME A VIRGIN AND AN ANCIENT TRIBE OF PYGMIES And so help me if you just happen to "slip into" this one Herold, then there WILL be problems
>>31296833No I'm a wizard, why do you ask?
How about the Spatial rend spell? It worked when we need to remove that demon city some years back. Then we won't have as much collateral damage.
>>31296847What do you mean? Every wizard recieved his share of the payment. Boy, it wasn't easy work to open this portal, but we did it!>>31296853Perry, there is no way we can afford this. Ancient tribes ask 300 gold pieces per hour per person
>>31296847You're not even welcome here, You're a bard!>>31296912Even saying you're a Wizard means nothingTurn Perry there into a newt for a few minuites and prove yourself a wizard
Luke, what are your friends doing in my kitchen playing dress up? I swear, you're 23 and have that computer science degree. do something with it
>>31296928Last time you tried that i became a salamander and burnt your favorite hat.HOWS THE SUN FEEL ON YOUR BALD HEAD NOW TERO! HA!
Okay. Um. You are not going to believe what the Warriors' Guild is planning.We can't determine the result of this yet. The diviners that have attempted it are too busy shitting themselves to provide a full report.
>>31296853>just happen to "slip into" this one HeroldHey, I'm a force of nature. Can't hold me back if the time comes.
>>31296946What could those idiots accomplish other than sticking their tongues in electric sockets?
>>31296948Damnit Harold, thats the third virgin this week. Eventually were going to have to start sacrificing sluts, AND NO-ONE WANTS THAT HAROLD!
>>31296946What is it... What have they been doing?(new rule, If you're Posting/playing, pick a name, Doesn't even matter what it is(as long as you're a damned wizard), Seem good?)
I have an idea! Why not using the ritual "Perfect Meteor Stike of OLOboutos"? It would be fire and stone, won't cause much colateral damage, and it would beat the Warriors' Guild to the punch.
>>31296978Yes *cough* we wouldn't want that at all my stalk of sluts is one of the very few things that keep the damned politicians off of us.
>>31297023Didn't we have that one wizard who could turn sluts into virgins?
>>31297035Why yes he did but he got married and couldnt do it anymore. That is what I heard last. Besides who wants to spend all that time retraining a girl into a slut when you can just go out into the alleys with a sack and a club and catch well trained sluts.
>>31297016You remember what happened last time we did that right?It was hard enough convincing everyone we already had 2 moons, if we add another they might start asking questions again
I've got it! The universal still point rod! We can use several of them for maximum effect! Wait are we talking about the warriors or the other things?
>>31296978>>31297035Don't stop me now I'm having such a good timeI'm having a ballDon't stop me nowIf you wanna have a good time just give me a callDon't stop me now ('Cause I'm having a good time)Don't stop me now (Yes I'm havin' a good time)I don't want to stop at all
>>31296959I'll stick your fockin tongue into a socket m8
Hi guys! I'm totally a wizard. We should all hang out at my castle later!Do you know any princesses? Wyrm princesses? Or just regular princesses?
>>31297061Does your wife know your here?
>>31297063Who let Conrad the Barbarian in here?
>>31297071I think he caught wind of my slut sack. The barbarians are drawn to it like pigs to truffles. Even the female ones so more sluts for the sack.
>>31297067Hey.Hey guys.Hey.Guys.Hey guys.
>>31297086Slut sack?! Where?
>>31297050Oh please a third moon would be fine.It'll just make night's even more romantic for the fair maidens.>>31297070Don't stop me now I'm having such a good timeI'm having a ballDon't stop me nowPlease
>>31297086Damn it Vonigut we have a naming convention! It's called the sack of Sluttage. We're professionals, not students.
>>31297100*reaches into my sleeve* why here of course! but my prices are steep here sign this contract in menstrual blood! its all legitimate I assure you.
>>31297096Ive got an idea guys, just roll with itDon't worry, ALL the wyrms are princesses, just waiting for you, go get em tiger!
>>31297122But he doesn't even have a pointy hat with stars.
>>31297122Wait, really? And you're sure?
>>31297113Jannet is not going to be happy not happy at all Herold. But I assure you since this is a crisis she should understand. >>31297118This is the slut sack I patented it! The sack of sluttage is the item that holds extra dimensional sex toys not actual sluts and you call me the student.
>>31297120I don't have any menstrual blood.
>>31297141Why does your's say ''Wizzard''?
>>31297155Best go get some then and I will await your return! go forth young adventurer!
>>31297142100% pure Princess, ALL of them, i think the one on the left just winked at you>>31297141Shut up Harold, if we can get this guy to take them away our problems are solved and we can claim the reward
>>31297141I AM A WIZARDSEE MY SHINY CROWN?IT'S POINTYI'M A WIZARD KINGWIZARD KING OF ICE STUFFWizards only, fools
>>31297145Don't you dare call me that! You.. you.. you novice!
>>31297165W-w-what!? But I haven't showered yet! I need to buy flowers! I haven't cleaned the cages in weeks!You're a good friend, Perry the . . . Pyromancer?Oh dear.
>>31297191Bet your a virgin too..>>31297141Harold what are the policies on sacrificing virgin wizards for the greater good?
>>31297194Don't worry about that now, just go talk to her, and her and her and her...Herold get over here, he's actually going to do it
>>31297142Well, the Wyrm Queen did have a lot of daugthers. So it's safe to say the biggest and angriest ones are the princesses.Did you know I went to school with the Prince Consort of Wyrm? That guy could sell water to fishes
>>31297221. . . Pyromancers are squares, Gunter. I don't believe him
>>31297213You cleric! I would conjure a wyrm just for you.. If I could but still!
>>31297244>Show him the picture of the Royal Wyrm WeddingConvinced, now?
>>31297225Hmmm . . . a trivia scholar, hmm? What are you, some kind of nerd?
>>31297244Wenk Wenk WEENK!
>>31297244>>31297268You can do it Wizard King!We believe in you and your skill!You're the best!Around!Nothing's gonna ever keep you downYou're the Best!Around!Nothing's gonna ever keep you downYou're the Best!Around!Nothing's gonna ever keep you dow-ow-ow-ow-own
>>31297256Thats because your a Virgin only real men with real magical powers can do it.
>>31297268Well, yes. I know stuff.
>>31297278Hah! Everyone knows real wizards are celibate. So what does that make you?
>>31297304Unusable as a sacrifice to the Fire lord of the Volcano?Get my rope...
>>31297304Only until thirty man.
>>31297304the reason every one says that is because a cabal of wizards ages ago had an orgy together and combined their powers. They are the reason for the asshole sea to the south.
...I'VE BEEN DUPED! YEARS WASTED!
Now that the Wizard King has left for the Wyrm Princess, what shall we discuss next?It looks like the Druids are trying to sue us for wanted destruction of nature and unholy ritualism.I think this one is mainly addressed at you Perry.
>>31297363IT WAS ONE SACRED FOREST!and in my defense i DID see a spider.must have been at LEAST 5cm
>>31297363Unholy Ritualism really? they are the ones who started sacrificing virgins back in the day and we all thought "hey thats a great idea lets try it" and it worked better for us then them.
>>31297378Their fault for sacrificing them to their gods.now DEMON sacrifice, that's where the mana is!
>>31297376>i DID see a spiderWell, we're still getting sued and I can't charm the judge this time.Do we have any adepts of lawyermancy here?
>>31297409Agreed the queen of the succubi owes me some extra mana really. She just digs all them sluts I throw into the hellgate under the library..I mean uh..*sweat* closet...
>>31297410not since 'The Moon Incident'.>>31297422Cant we just throw sluts at the situation like last time?
>>31297453I am unsure. I have yet to head into the alleys and gather more I will require assitanance
>>31297467I PUT MYSELF FORWARD, I HAVE YEARS TO CATCH UP ON!
>>31297453>>31297467Why don't we just counter-sue them for loitering on the marketplace?
>>31297488We would love too, But without any Lawyermancers, Adepts or otherwise, there's no real point, do YOU know how to counter-cast a level 12 disturbance of the peace? i thought not.
>>31297483Glad to take the help here is your sack and your club. Have at em champ!
I must say you lot are quite unprofessional. All this silly bickering and no a single familiar to be seen. Shameful.
>>31297518>>31297467Wait a second!What if use the Slutbag to put all the wyrms, let's face it they're all sluts, into it and then unleash them unto the druids?
>>31297537While that may be true, Do you really want to lure them into an alleyway for Vonigut to bash on the head? What if he misses? do you thing you could Seduce a wyrm into a bag?
>>31297537Brilliant! Then we place the wyrms back in the back and unleash them on the warriors!
>>31297568Deal with TWO PROBLEMS AT ONCE!
>>31297527That guy from before had a penguin.
>>31297561I have good aim with a club but not that good. Some times I gotta hit em a few times to get em properly pacified.
>>31297561Oh! oh oh oh!! Let me! I have JUST the skeleton for this! He sticks EVERYTHING in bags! Even the same bag! Can I get him can I get him can u get him pleeeeease? I swear he'll be good!
>>31297603Cmon Niggles, last time you let him out he rounded up ALL the psycopomps and stuffed them in his bag, now it impossible to do anything without tripping over extra souls.
>>31296450*rushes into the room barricading the door*so it turns out summoning an alternate female version of my was a horrible Idea......oh godsammit, Did I miss this again?well I recommend not leaving this room till the summoning spell fades out, because dear fucking god is she unreasonable in her carnal demands
>>31297632GIVE ME YOUR KNUCKLEBONES.
>>31297561I know how to seduce a Wyrm into a bag! We need to summon Succubi of the Vastra sub-species, aka Reptilian Succubi. They may try to eat us at first, though.
I don't understand how we got so many of us fitted inside this small kitchen
>>31297632*knock at the barricaded door from the other side!Randolph open the damn door. I just left for the bathroom for five minutes and you lock out.Don't make me sing the song of un-barricading!
>>31297661Get Tero to summon it then, he's expendable.the fool hasn't even chosen a specialty yet.
>>31297653Thank the lords destruction spells are my weakest area of magical expertise, or we'd all be fucked, literally and brutally. Is that what it's like to be in a room with me?
>>31297678Yes, now get your hands out of your pants, Jesus man do you even know where those have been?Actualy, you probably do... YOU SICK BASTARD!
>>31297673I know I've said I wanted to die in bed with a beautiful woman,but I don't want to die in the act
>>31297677Im an Enchanter...You should fucking know this, I ENCHANTED YOUR DAMNED ROBES WHEN YOU FIRST JOINED THE GUILD
>>31297687All over an alternate version of myself?
>>31297688Exactly how Fire-Retardant would you say you are, Just out of curiosity?
>>31297653>>31297678>or we'd all be fucked, literally and brutallyLet me deal with this "situation".Perry, play the music. You know which one.
>>31297650MagicAlternatively, we could simply seduce the wyrms and be done with it. I don't think the Druids are going to mess with us if we manage to pull this off
>>31297678GIVE ME YOUR FUCKING KNUCKLEBONES, DAMNIT. THE SLOSHING ABYSS HUNGERS FOR RIGIDITY. SURRENDER YOUR CALCIUM COMPOUNDS OR I'LL START SUMMONING DONG ELEMENTALS.
>>31297712We got Druids in the guild, They want us to resolve this peacefully rather than being violent or hostile to them
>>31297709https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fn4i8bAfnMY&feature=kpavert your eyes gentlemen, this wont be pretty...
>>31297705>>31297709I don't know, burning flesh is a turn off for meAnd don't you dare herold, we're colleagues and why are we in the kitchen??
>>31297721Good thing we're not the Guild anymore, eh? Wizard only.I vote that we simply seduce the wyrms and convince them to stop their rampages. That, no one will think before us.
>>31297720Dear gods, does your dimension not have men or something?
>>31297754were in the kichen because SOMEONE spent all our money on real estate in the Demonic planes.
>>31297759I am against it, Why not send the warriors to deal with the Wyvern menace?
Rolled 6, 5 = 11>>31297791>>31297754Too late, old chap.
>>31297791Randolph, I may provide a solution to your predicament...Do you think your alternate self would want to seduce some wyrms?
>>31297791AT LAST A WORTHY OFFERING. YOUR FLESHY SHALL BIRTH THE DESTROYER OF HOPE. IA SHUB-NIGGURATH!
>>31297799Why don't we just hock our wares again to make more cash?
>>31297816Speaking of the wyrms, do you guys think that Ice Guy with the penguin is still alive?
>>31297801Because they'll get the credit.>>31297799Hey, the prices are low now, but when people realise the place is in the Circle of Lust...Well, let just say the prices won't be the only thing to rise, if you catch my drift
>>31297841It takes more than that to kill a wizard. Reynolds just informed me he managed to get out of the wyrm that shallowed him
>>31297820Because out combined skill are,Burning shitMaking SlutsCollecting SlutsTrivial pursuit nerd Touching himselfAnd enchanting robes with "an enchant of +12 magic" which i would have you know is just 12 glow in the dark star stickersPlus whatever Simmons does something to do with fruit i think?
>>31297818>Rolled 2d6: 6, 5 = 11You no match for me woman!I banish thee from this dimension!
>>31297852The prices were low because the land is just a pile of dried man juice, WHY DO YOU THINK THEY CALLED THEM THE WHITE ISLANDS!?
>>31297871Im a general Enchanter... I made those robes as a gift initially to welcome you... Do we have any Golemancers here?
>>31297871Actually involves several high speed billiard balls and my left sleeve.
I don't want to go outside.and take care of the wyrm outbreak.The sun is too bright, there's paladin and clergy orders that want me dead, I have to hide my appearance with illusions and that is a super hassle to cast and maintain, oh and there is angels and minor gods of pure order that want to erase me from existence for unnaturally extending my life to immortality. Those guys are total bureaucratic jerks.I just want to stay in my cozy catacombs and scry the ether for knowledge infinite guys. Can't we just trick some adventuring band of murderhobos to do it for some trivial trinket like we solve all of our problems?Because for the last 1567 council meetings that is what we usually end up agreeing upon after climaxing in a huge magical orgy.
>>31297871You forgot Reynolds and his power of not getting digested by a wyrm!
>>31297941Well i think Herold and Randolphi just had an orgy of there own over there, so time to work on the trinket i guess, I recomend an amulet of Immolation, 'Sheild yourself with all the power of the sun' great for parties.
Rolled 1, 8 = 9>>31297900YOU SEEK TO MATCH YOUR GENITALS AGAINST MINE? FOOL. THE BLESSINGS OF THE BLACK MOTHER ARE DEEPER THAN YOUR PITIFUL STAFF CAN HOPE TO PLUMB. BEHOLD, AS YOU WITNESS THE HORROR THAT IS DIE SIZE MODIFIERS!
>>31297904Wait, you didn't get the memo? the White Islands had been bought by someone called Randolphi before we could make our offer. They then disappeared, for some reason. What we bought was the "Big Tower Stuck In The Hole".
>>31297971Well shit. You're a cunt, Shub.Alright, I guess you can top this time.
>>31297975not the fucking Dick tower... i guess its better then the spooge piles anyway.
I found menstrual blood.
Were sageing gents>>31298017Good, now, Go collect 204 Wyrm scales, WE can use them to make you the KING OF THE SLUTS Dont you dare ruin this for us Vonigut
>>31297997Well, Demons can't enter it without asking for authorisation first, so it's probably the safest touristic place of the whole Circle of Lust...Wait a minute! We could refurbish it into a dungeon easily¨!Boys and girls, I think I found the solution to all our problemsFirst, we need to open a portal to the Circle of Lust where the wyrms are
>>31298017Who the hell let the barbarian here?
>>31298068I did.Can I borrow some wyrm scales?
>>31297966The last time I want outside and did stuff, I believe it was for some magical disease or some other non-sense.I was killed and obliterated 24 times, had to relocate my home and study 13 times, I had to personally destroy 8 holy orders and no less then 245 adventuring parties. Honestly they breed like rats. And when I did finally create the cure, one of you assholes took all the credit because I was reduced to a skull. If I wasn't board out of my phylactery I wouldn't even show up to these pointless meetings.
>>31298107Larry, my friend, you do have a Dungeon Master diploma, right?
>>31298071By the way, I'm pregnant now, and so are you.
>>31298107Its your own fault for not thinking in advance, What did you think would happen when you raised all the dead sick people, walked them into the town and had them cough all over their families,
>>31298146Now, now, we're not playing the blame game
>>31298131Several, most of them are honorary.>>31298146They can talk and they can walk what more do you living meatsacks want? Geez.
>>31298158yes we are, its literally ALL WE HAVE BEEN DOING!
We could contact the thieves guild and have them steal the wyrns?
>>31298139Nothing I haven't dealt with so far.>>31298184I think this meeting is going fine. Nobody has died or suffered any serious injuries yet and we haven't had to deal with adventurers yet.
you know what? BUGGER THIS, IM GOING HOME!i NEVER get to drive a volcano across the plane, NEVER.its always "But the commoners will get hurt" ITS THERE OWN FAULT FOR BEING SO DAMNED FLAMMABLE!Im off for the night, hope you guys get this whole wyrm thing sorted out
>>31297410Well, I've looked over your case and it definitely isn't good. According to the Great Magicians Treaty of '06, we are to respect the druids' life choices and stop treating them like children. In the event of any claimed sacrilege we are to apologise profusely and get out of their room.
>>31298184Point taken.But, my fellow master of Wizadry, what we have here is an opportunity. And we are not foolish enough to let it to waste!I propose a simple plan: We create a portal to the Demonic Circle of Lust near the area the Wyrms are rampaging. Then, we make them go through. They will arrive in the "Big Tower Stuck In The Hole", that we will have transformed into a Dungeon. And then, every adventurer in the land will try to vainquish this new, lusty dungeon and we will become rich!
>>31298269Seems about as secure as our plans on selling real estate on the Desolate Fields of Great Demons.I support this idea!Let's do this.
Sirs... I have news and knowledge the Warriors are already making preparations for their plan to deal with the wyrms we must make haste to defeat them quicker. *looks around* where is Reynolds?
>>31298327Why don't we ask Randolph and Randolphi to take distract them?While they're at it Vonigut and Simmons can grab their sluts.
>>31298254>We are to respect the druids' life choices and stop treating them like children.HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.I remember when I used to share a room with a druid back in apprenticeship. She was always going on and on about, "Save the Tarrasque", "Stop the Rust monster genocide", "Campaign for the banning of dragon scales in magic use." and etc.Oh man did she hate my necromancy, she tricked me into going into a addictive Magic Anonymous meeting. Because "Practicing necromancy is a addiction and curse, like going full warlock.: It is a respectful practice of magic like every other mystical art!But boy was her views of things warped. I think I killed her as part of my graduation.
>>31298327Reynolds is already on site, Pindle. Thank you for your informations.We must be quick! We have had our glory stolen by some lucky sword-for-hire too many time before!All for Opperation Wyrm Dungeon, raise your hand!>Raise hand
>Raises Hand as wellWe must finish the job before those tin wrapped triceps steal our thunder.
Hey guys. Sorry about not attending these meetings so often, however I've busy.You see, I'm in charge of the "Reagent and Research Supplies Garden and Arborium" and am also the head chair of the "Natural and Hedge Magicks Department". Normally this isn't quite so taxing of a job...however some Schmuck-monger keeps DEPOSITING THANATOPIC REAGENTS AND DRACONIC ZYGOTES IN MY GARDEN BEDS!!!!Please, if you want to perform any experiment, clear it with me and i'll make you a nice controlled area to perform and observe them. Do you know how many Alurane and Reagent Crops have been lost along with prospective Arcanists killed? Its spent me the better part of a Decade just to finally get the soil not to be aligned to Cyth'Visog's Abyssal Realm, in fact I heard one of our defective crops was able t escape and terrorized some Hobbit village before it was slain.So anyone want to Fess up and explain why they thought this was a good idea...Larry, im pretty sure you where involved or at least know who was....oh, as for the Wyrms, I volunteer myself to take care of them. Thier flesh and Dung make for excellent Fertalizer
>Raises handWhat could possibly go wrong. This plan is perfect.>>31298376Was she hawt?
>>31296450you aren't Archwizard Antruthius, isn't he the only one allowed to declare mage guild meetings?
>>31298422Good! We have a motivated caretaker and a way to make even more money!It's taking shape, my friends! It's taking shape...Larry, how fast could you transform a giant-sized desaffected hotel-castel into a dungeon?
>>31298461Archwizard is visiting his fitness and health club.So we went ahead without him.
>>31298269Lets not do that, I still remember when some artificer tried to mass produce the Girdle of Masculinity/Femininity and sell them for money. Lets just say the half-breed population quadrupled over night. And we're still killing half dragon/half centaur/half rust monster/half demon/half-angel/half kobold/half troll spawns even today.>>31298315I have you know that it is prime real estate. There are no adventurers, pesky elves and no holy orders, and the Great Demons play poker every Friday night and golf every Sunday. And no one judges you by your appearance or what sort of magic you practice. It was the neighborhood I have ever unlived in.
>>31298473Very quickly if you don't mind a skeleton decal.
>>31298502Please, Larry, we're not planning on breeding wyrms. Just on putting them into a dungeon and steal the equipment of the foolish adventurer would will try to defeat it. You can't tell me you don't see the appeal.
>>31298363Well it depends, can I ruin their lives with my distraction?
>>31298422>>31298502Larry, I'm serious, do you know who has been dumping thier Reagents and Materials in my Gardens? If it's you, and you and come clean now, then I will only bill you for half the expenses the Council has lost from this
>>31298540I don't mind. Could you do that to the "Big Tower Stuck In The Hole", in the Demonic Circle of Lust?
Mop want to know if big magic men can stop guys wif swords and axes from killing all the goblins?
>>31298540Awesome, skeletons always attract more adventurers.Also Larry, do you happen to have a spell of remove unborn?I happen to be pregnant and Perry is gone so I can't have him burn me and then bring back to life.
>>31298556Fine!But if we get invaded by a army of demonic wyrm halfbreeds from the demonic plane of lust in a couple of centuries. I'm going to say "I told you so!"
>>31298637I could change the men into something else
>>31298643That doesn't sound like a bad thing, honestly
>>31298643Do not worry, the tower is sealed: No demon can enter it unless the owner let them in.>>31298637Well, I'm sure directing their effort to a dungeon filled with wyrm will mean they can't attack goblins as much as before.Pindle, any news on the Warriors' Guild meeting?
>>31298623That. Is. Racist!Just because I am a lich does not mean I am cause every single act of evil in this world! By the dark gods, in this day and age I never thought I would face such bigotry from other members of wizardry. You should be ashamed of yourself! And I am totally not playing up the prejudice card to change the subject not at all!>>31298642Yes I happen to know such a spell. Here,*Mumbles a couple of words of power."Its done.
Reynolds says the portal on site is done. He just need us to send the mana>Send the mana
>>31298743Thank you Larry.Now I am the bar...wizard I used to be.>>31298622That would be expected of you. We can't let those warriors steal our glory again!
>>31298743Im not doing because your a Lich, heck my Cousin almost became a Lich before he decided to become an ArboriumiteIts because your one of the only people here with access to such a sheer amount of Thanatopic Materials and Magical Zygotes. Plus the place smells vaguely of Funeral Incense, thought that could just be the Janitor's doing.
>>31298710some are debating on sending us just there to be butchered... If this fucks up, We'll have Wyrms all over the city. I assumeEither way, They seem to be formulating((Their thread is not as active as its suppose to be, I spotted the draw thread, Somebody requested Reynolds inside a Wyrm be drawn))
>>31298802Great I can open the whore house I always wanted to have
We need three more wizards sending their mana, people
>>31298794No we cannot do it so soon, I will agree with Prindle, I will send him Mana over to maintain his shield but not for the incantation to teleport the dragons
WAIT, I AM OF HAVING EPIPHANYGUYSWHAT IF WE ARE CREATE MANY GOLD GOLEM? WYRMS ARE OF LOVE GOLD. WYRMS WILL NOT ABLE TO ATTACK GIGANTIC GOLDEN AUTOMATON.I SAY IS GOOD IDEA. ALMOST AS GOOD AS VODKA ELEMENTAL IDEA.
>>31298902Reynolds got out of the wyrms more than 20 minutes ago, Tero. A creative use of th "accelerate Digestion" spell, he said he used
>>31298915We're broke... and i have to askHOW has he not been caught yet?
>>31298915>WHAT IF WE ARE CREATE MANY GOLD GOLEM? WYRMS ARE OF LOVE GOLD. WYRMS WILL NOT ABLE TO ATTACK GIGANTIC GOLDEN AUTOMATON.>I SAY IS GOOD IDEA. ALMOST AS GOOD AS VODKA ELEMENTAL IDEA.Mop say this is dumb idea.
>>31298894You and I both know, if I send my mana, the negative energy is going to create zombies.Beside I am currently designing the dungeon as we speak. 4 is the main entrance lined with moving skeletal wall constructs that push the hapless adventurers in and close behind them, 3 is the wyrvern roosting areas, and 2 is a giant every shifting labyrinth of bone and flesh.
Mop will send mana when men stop killing his people.
Sorry I had to take a trip to the alleys to gather more sluts for spell reagents. Did I miss anything important?
>>31298988I like that design, it reminds me of something.I just can't put it together.hmmm....
>>31299020It is like giant slug!
Och, you guys are a buncha wee crybabies. Feart o' the big, nasty slugs.
>>31299038Mop wonder what Ethnomancer is?
>>31299016We've got a great plan for dealing with the wyrms and a way to make those warriors look like a bunch of idiots.
>>31298988...and you wonder why I blamed you for the dragon zygotes....
>>31299058sounds perfect how are we to accomplish this? do we require more sluts for the slut wall?
>>31299057We'll tell you when you're grown up.
>>31298988Oh and 1 is the corridors connecting the Wyrvern roosting areas to the labyrinth, it is designed such that it prevents the Wyrven eggs and newborn from getting through but quickly and forcibly pushes the matured wyrven into the main dungeon. And the roosting areas are magically supplied with infinite food and water so the Wyrven can keep breeding and breeding.
>>31299057Ah'm fae the department of offensive stereotypes. I'm fair gid at castin' accents, an all.
>>31299079Mop is grown up. Mop is seven!
>>31299082How do we supply this food, I don't think our Conjurer is willing to spend his time producing it, Do we have any Golemancers?
>>31299109i have sluts..
>>31299109Ask Vonigut what the bag of sluts is for.
>>31298955>poorARE. FUCKING. WIZARDS. MAKE GOLEMS *LOOK* GOLD, IS ALL THAT MATTER.
>>31299124you read my mind. are you actually a wizard?
>>31299136Mop still think this is dumb idea
>>31299058and that is?
>>31299136Och naw, it's Sergei. My first test subject.
BEHOLD, COWERING FOOLS, THE END OF YOUR ORDER AT THE HANDS OF MY UNDEAD LEGION!Wait. You guys aren't a paladin order.Oh, shit, sorry, so sorry. I was looking for a paladin order to slay, and the guy I got directions from said that I could find one here.Uh... Anyone know where I could find one?
>>31299224fix your pampers there sonny we have a real necromancer already. Ask him where the paladin order is. >>31299082
>>31299250Tis is why the Orders Distrust us and why Im often the one who was to act as the unofficial Liaison to the Paladins, Clerics, and Druids.
>>31299157If three more wizards send their mana to Reynolds, it will send the wyrms to the "Big Tower Stuck In the Hole", that Larry is transforming in dungeon as we speak. Then, the adventurers will come to "triumph against challenges" and make us rich by paying the entrance fee. Also, we can sell the wyrms' body parts they don't use anymore.
>>31299224You can try the Order of the Sacred Slayers of Sacrilege. They're located just beyond the Northern mountain of Sacrilege, where they slayed their first blasphemer for breaking a toenail clipper for one of their gods.They reside in a giant alabaster cathedral of shinning light and glass in the shape of a giant gothic crotch bulge. You can't miss it.Have fun!
>>31299293......That's it. Peace, Im gonna ask the warrior's guild if they want any weapons and armor to fight the Wyrms with
GREETINGS COMRADESIS BORIS, DA?I MANCE BEAR ON WYRM AND WYRM IS FEAR OF GREAT WOOD GRIZZLY WHO STIMP AND CLAW HIS PITIFUL SCALES
>>31299325Oh, neat. Thanks!
So, really? No one want to do this plan?
>>31299472I am up for it.
>>31299325like their testicles?
>>31299472I think the Ecomancer left to help the warriors or something
>>31299501then could you please send your mana to Reynolds through the crystal ball?Two more people? Two more wizards needed here.
I think there's a problem with the Infinite Fountain of Results of Well-Meaning Misdeeds, it's been popping out living miniature soldiers every 40 seconds for the last hour.
>>31299510They are a order of aesthetically driven roid raging idiots. In fact I am pretty damn sure their genitalia are very very very minuscule and infertile from all the potions of bull strength they've been chugging down and they compensate for them by threatening blacksmiths and artificers to forge them really large jock straps and crotch bulges into their armor.In fact I am pretty sure that is how they got all of their "relics", just bullying other people to make them semi magical body care items, like a razor that never dulls and always gives a clean shave, a unbreakable comb that gives you a rich flowing locks of golden hair, and a toothbrush that makes you're teeth so clean, every time the brusher smiles, its like casting ray of radiance.
>>31299472All right ima sending my "mana".
>>31299610can I turn them into whores?they seem stupid enough to fall for a simple trap
>>31299551I always wondered why we even got that thing.
>>31299224*Raises all limbs*Pick a direction.Speaking of direction, I think I know of a way to defeat the Wyrms. Why don't we form a mass polymorph spell and turn them into bitches? Preferably octopus bitches.
>>31299660You can, but first go and do that to the warriors.The Ecomancer has betrayed us and is trying to help them.Also if anybody happens to exterminate the guys Larry mentioned I'd love to take a comb and toothbrush.
>>31299660Sure by all means go ahead, that is one less holy order of dickwards and douchnozzles to deal with in this century.And to think that I thought at the end of my apprenticeship I had suffered enough from paladin and white knighting bullies trying to smite the evil out of me only to suffer a eternity of bullying in my lichdom.I hate those idiots.
>>31299735Any preferences? shall I keep them their original race or tamper with that as well. and I assume you want me to completely destroy their previous personalities?
>>31299697I like that idea.What if we fill our dungeon with octapus wyrms?
>>31299743Want to help? it's good fun turning things into others things
You know what? It's fine.See you around, fellows. I have to get roasted by Daemons
>>31299765Do whatever pleases you.In hindsight, I'm sure we all will eventually regret that I said that.
>>31299782Not now, time flows very different for my kind, there is always time for polymorphing idiots into sluts and bimbos.I have to first build the Dungeon of Suck it in the hole first, if you don't mind go out and collect me more skeletons, I am running out of bone(r)s.
>>31299812Ok, I assume you want me to share them? also I think we need someplace to keep them, so we don't trip over them as we go about our work
Sorry i8m back, Had a smoke break, I saw a lot of prominent members from the warriors society beginning to march westwards, Why don't we interupt them
>>31299777Thank you for the support, Shoam. Your title is rightly earned. With the council's approval I shall go henceforth and prepare a mass Octopussification.On a lesser note, someone's been dumping all manner of alchemical reagents in my cove. That will stop.
>>31299842Has anyone cleaned up the pile of dead whores in the bathroom?
>>31299858It's too late, they left their guild and are on their way to slay the wyrms.
>>31299530I apologise for my late arrival, there is a lot of paperwork involved with sending mana through portals of questionable longevity. Transferring now.
>>31299887they'd be easier to trap while they're drunk from celebrating their wonton slaughter
>>31299878Oh! I can use those!I can create walls upon walls of seductively singing choir of siren zombie whores that can drag adventurers by the jock strap and crotch bulge deeper and deeper into the wo- caverns of the dungeon!Its brilliant!
>>31299928Wonderful, they should still be piled in the center of the room
(Im actually amused that somebody set up the warriors meeting thread and well... they got shit done haha)WE MUST MAKE HASTE, QUICKLY I have summoned some heavy winds but they won't last to disrupt them, I heard them talk on riding birds. So we need a stronger mage to disrupt them!
>>31299978In our defence.We did come up with a plan and we defeated Randolph's alternate female form.So we saved the world at least once.
>>31300019That was within our meeting, WE do not want those gloryhobos getting the glory do we?
>>31299978Let me astral project there and distract them.
>>31300052I mean to keep the winds heavy enough to stop them flying around
>>31299978On my way>>31300019I miss her already
And I'm back!Now, we just need one more wizard sending his mana. Randolph? Octomarilius? Shoam?Remember: if we don't act quickly the Warriors will beat us to the punch! And we'll be the laughingstock of the kindgom! Again!
The Infinite Fountain of Results of Well-Meaning Misdeeds just pumped out an unfinished human. Has someone been creating artificial people again?
>>31300095Harrrrr, take me Mana!
>>31300096ahahahah, maybe>>31300095Fine, I'll do it
Welp, Drawfriend did our meeting! ))14 posts til autosage, Think we should try to start moving on
>>31300137We did it!>The wyrms are absorbed by the portal, which then close
>>31300150Excelent Work!But we have to make sure nothing of this fucks up and backfires
>>31300145funnyNow, to save the hide of the rest
>>31300145>>31300150It was good time. We beat Randolphi, the Wyrms, the Warriors and saved the realm!Good fortune to all of you friends and until next time.
>>31300171Not yet, The warriors are fighting some of our colleagues
>>31300150>>31300171If anyone needs me, I'll be raising the bar on all that is deprived
Well, I tried
>>31300339Don't worry friend.I'm sure nobody will get hurt.
Rolled 2, 4 = 6>>31300379Wheres Reynolds now, Did he get sucked in with the portal with the Wyrms or is he on his way back?
>>31300439I'm sure he's fine
Rolled 9, 1 = 10>>31300451He's probably with the wyrms... Send the warriors to get him, If they die, they're out of our hair(2 posts til autosage)
>>31300476But then I can't turn them into muscle bound women
Farewell friends and I hereby declare this council meeting for over.It was a success and we beat the wyrms.Until next time.
A frantic knocking comes to the door outside a small man with a scroll waiting to be let in.
>>31300515greetings, bearer of news! How can we help you?
>>31300515oh boy a new victim
>>31300537>>31300552Strangely enough there were no casualties on either side... the only one who was there at the time has left... But there were some... Property damages... As in the entire guild was burnt to the ground as the wizards attacked...
>>31300608I see... How about we rebuilt it and everyone forget this regretable incident, yes?
>>31300656I am but the carrier of the message... I was sent before the only one there left through a gate... You would need to find him...
>>31300656Shouldn't we save Reynalds?
>>31300698I guess, I mean I'm not built for rescue missions
>>31300698We should, we should...
(posted Dungeon......if anyone cares)
>>31300812 A link does help man ))
>>31300853Here you are. Warriors help all they can!>>31300697