>>31101864
Your name is Norman Niemand. You turned eighteen several weeks ago rather uneventfully. The High City of Imperial City, although famous for being a city of adventure and excitement, is still inhabited by thousands of people who do not actually live adventurous lives. You are one of these people. Suffice to say, that means your life isn’t exactly the most world-shattering, there are no prophecies centering around you nor will you find any swords getting thrown at you by water ladies.

You are just a regular human being in the Kingdom of Therindel.

It’s a beautiful morning as you walk to your place of employment: Clay’s Potions and Solutions. Shopkeepers, whether they are veteran adventurers working off their accomplishments or just old men working to make some money, are beginning to open their wares. You stopped by an apple farmer’s cart really quickly to grab an apple for breakfast earlier. You have a hunch that you might not have time for breakfast today, it might be relatively busy.

As you walk and occasionally say “Good morning” or “King’s Blessing” to a random passerby, you reflect on your life somewhat. Nothing new, honestly speaking.

For example, what are your parents like?

> Your parents are honest merchants, who made a fortune through wise investment and good sales with customers they built excellent relations with. Despite that, you decided to head to the High City of Imperial City to make something of yourself. They did not oppose this, and in fact supported you all the way.
> Your parents are an Adventurer couple, slaying monsters, bandits, and other things that would threaten a man’s existence. You never found yourself wanting to follow in their footstep though, which is why you immigrated to the High City of Imperial City. They still send letters to you however.
> Your parents are dead.
> Write in

>>31101870
>> Your parents are an Adventurer couple, slaying monsters, bandits, and other things that would threaten a man’s existence. You never found yourself wanting to follow in their footstep though, which is why you immigrated to the High City of Imperial City. They still send letters to you however.

This would be a nice change of pace.

Why not both? Our father was a rich and wealthy merchant, our mother was a rich and powerful adventurer.

Both of them are now dead.

>>31101870
> Your parents are honest merchants, who made a fortune through wise investment and good sales with customers they built excellent relations with. Despite that, you decided to head to the High City of Imperial City to make something of yourself. They did not oppose this, and in fact supported you all the way.

>>31101870
> Your parents are an Adventurer couple, slaying monsters, bandits, and other things that would threaten a man’s existence. You never found yourself wanting to follow in their footstep though, which is why you immigrated to the High City of Imperial City. They still send letters to you however.

>>31101870
>> Your parents are an Adventurer couple, slaying monsters, bandits, and other things that would threaten a man’s existence. You never found yourself wanting to follow in their footstep though, which is why you immigrated to the High City of Imperial City. They still send letters to you however.

>>31101870
>> Your parents are an Adventurer couple, slaying monsters, bandits, and other things that would threaten a man’s existence. You never found yourself wanting to follow in their footstep though, which is why you immigrated to the High City of Imperial City. They still send letters to you however.

>>31101864
>>31101864

> Your parents are honest merchants, who made a fortune through wise investment and good sales with customers they built excellent relations with. Despite that, you decided to head to the High City of Imperial City to make something of yourself. They did not oppose this, and in fact supported you all the way.

>>31101870
> Your parents are honest merchants, who made a fortune through wise investment and good sales with customers they built excellent relations with. Despite that, you decided to head to the High City of Imperial City to make something of yourself. They did not oppose this, and in fact supported you all the way.
I want them to be ivory tower wizards that hardly notice we're gone, but I got here too late to bring the idea, I guess.

>>31101870
>Your parents are honest merchants, who made a fortune through wise investment and good sales with customers they built excellent relations with. Despite that, you decided to head to the High City of Imperial City to make something of yourself. They did not oppose this, and in fact supported you all the way.

> Your parents are an Adventurer couple, slaying monsters, bandits, and other things that would threaten a man’s existence. You never found yourself wanting to follow in their footstep though, which is why you immigrated to the High City of Imperial City. They still send letters to you however.

I want postcards of a drawing or picture of their latest kill/adventure.

>>31101864
>Your parents are an Adventurer couple, slaying monsters, bandits, and other things that would threaten a man’s existence. You never found yourself wanting to follow in their footstep though, which is why you immigrated to the High City of Imperial City. They still send letters to you however.
Would have gone with simple farmers but this is the next best thing I guess.

>>31101870
>> Your parents are honest merchants, who made a fortune through wise investment and good sales with customers they built excellent relations with. Despite that, you decided to head to the High City of Imperial City to make something of yourself. They did not oppose this, and in fact supported you all the way.

>>31101870
> Your parents are an Adventurer couple, slaying monsters, bandits, and other things that would threaten a man’s existence. You never found yourself wanting to follow in their footstep though, which is why you immigrated to the High City of Imperial City. They still send letters to you however.

>>31101870
>Your parents are an Adventurer couple, slaying monsters, bandits, and other things that would threaten a man’s existence. You never found yourself wanting to follow in their footstep though, which is why you immigrated to the High City of Imperial City. They still send letters to you however.

FORWARD! TO CRUSHING DISSAPOINTMENT!
Also: it tells me I forgot to solve the captcha. There is no motherfucking captcha

>>31101929
Seconding this.

> Adventurer parents.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fUmzkSmbKi8

Quite the pair those two make. The letters they often send you, despite their best efforts, are often filled with tales of their exploits. Modest they are not, but bless their hearts they are some of the best parents you could ask for. Just last week indeed they apparently slew an Elder Dragon with only their fists when it caught them off guard on their travels.

You’re pretty sure they’re exaggerating, but then again when have your parents ever lied to you?

Still, the adventuring life, exciting as it is, didn’t really call to you like it does to a lot of other people. Indeed, Clay’s Potions and Solutions weren’t hiring adventurers to get ingredients for their potions, they just needed someone to man the shop. Because of your relative friendliness and because the owner’s daughter apparently took a shine to you, you got the job lickety-split. It’s an easy enough job, but you feel a bit underpaid.

You arrive at the shop, an unassuming corner store at the great big courtyard just two roads down from the main gate into the city. On the window display is a shelf of glowing potions of all kinds of colors and elements. Resting between all of them is the black ghostly and smoking apparition of a cat. The shop’s mascot and inventory master, Clay.

>> CLAY <<
>> SPELLCAT AND SHOP MASCOT AND INVENTORY MASTER <<

You knock on the window. “Clay, let me in,” you say.

Clay opens his bright empty white eyes. He melts right into the shelf then slinks along the floor and to the door, unlocking it for you. You walk inside and take off your coat, resting it on the rack nearby.

Clay speaks to you in his deep echo-y voice. “Good morning, Mister Niemand. I trust you are well?”

> “I’ve got a hunch that things are going to go wrong today for some reason.”
> “I’m fine, Clay. Thanks for asking.”
> “Slept like a corpse. No offense.”
> Write in

>>31102171
>> “I’ve got a hunch that things are going to go wrong today for some reason.”

Time to unlock our magical ability of being genre savvy.

>>31102171
>> “I’m fine, Clay. Thanks for asking.”

>>31102171
> “I’m fine, Clay. Thanks for asking.”
> “I’ve got a hunch that things are going to go wrong today for some reason.”

>>31102171
>> “I’ve got a hunch that things are going to go wrong today for some reason.”
Otherwise it'd be a very boring quest.

>>31102171
>> “I’m fine, Clay. Thanks for asking.”

>>31102171
> “I’m fine, Clay. Thanks for asking.”
Just another day. No reason to suspect anything.

>>31102171
>> “I’ve got a hunch that things are going to go wrong today for some reason.”
>> “I’m fine, Clay. Thanks for asking.

>>31102171
> “I’m fine, Clay. Thanks for asking.”
> “I’ve got a hunch that things are going to go wrong today for some reason.”

>>31102171
>“I’ve got a hunch that things are going to go wrong today for some reason.”

> “I’ve got a hunch that things are going to go wrong today for some reason.”
> “I’m fine, Clay. Thanks for asking.”

You walk over to the counter. The interior of the shop mostly consists of high shelves, filled with display potions, enchantment and spellbooks, and the rare magically powered amulet or ring. “I’m fine, Clay. Thank you for asking.” You hop over the counter and sit down in the chair, then you snap your finger. “Though, I have to admit. I feel like things are going to go wrong today.”

Clay phases across the floor and up onto the counter next to you, he tilts his head. “How so?”

You shrug. “Just a hunch.”

“Interesting,” says Clay. “Intuition is a highly sought after skill that many adventurers and hunters seek.”

“Well,” you say. “I’m not one of them. I’m just a shopkeep, you’re a spellcat. I’d like to leave it at that if you don’t mind,”

Clay harrumphs. “Well, I am one of THE most powerful spellcats in existence! I create spells capable of tearing down kingdoms, potions capable of granting amazing powers to the most sickly of men, and-“ He’s interrupted by someone coming down the stairs.

A blonde girl, aged sixteen and wearing the standard robes and cape of the Lord’s Magical Academy for Girls, yawns as she heads through the door leading to the upstairs. She gently pets Clay’s head. “Morning, Mister Fluffy!”

“Marigold!” yells Clay, trying to grow bigger in an attempt to look intimidating. “I am not MISTER FLUFFY.”

Marigold smiles, still muttering Mister Fluffy and other cute things. She’s not quite the morning person.

>> MARIGOLD MERRIWEATHER <<
>> DAUGHTER OF RANDALL THE RED AND STUDENT OF MAGIC <<

> Strike up conversation with Marigold
> Make sure everything is in place before the store opens
> Check in on Randall
> Other

>>31102377
>> Make sure everything is in place before the store opens

>Fluffy
Please no.

>>31102377
> Check in on Randall
Report to the boss man.

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>>31102377
> Strike up conversation with Marigold

Recettear quest as done by GermanSchteel?

FUCK YES.

>>31102377
> Check in on Randall

>>31102377
> Make sure everything is in place before the store opens
> Check in on Randall

>>31102377
pet the cat

>>31102377
>> Make sure everything is in place before the store opens

>>31102377

>Make sure everything is in place before the store opens
>Wish Marigold a good morning before she leaves for the day

It'd be rude to just ignore her, no matter how sleepy she is.

>>31102377
>Check in on Randall
> HEY RANDALL, WHAT'S GOOD IN DA HOOD?

>>31102525
Supporting this

>>31102377
>Make sure everything is in place before the store opens
>Custom
Wish Marigold a good day as she goes to school.

> Make sure everything is in place before the store opens
> Check in on Randall

You take a quick look at all the displays. Making sure that each and every one is right where they are supposed to be. It’s usually Clay’s job to make the display potions, and he does it well. A spellcat is an excellent partner to have when making potions or enchantments, but because of their rather incorporeal nature, they have trouble with finer movements of physicality.

Regardless though, everything seems to be in order.

Marigold hugs Clay, who attempts to wring himself out of her grasp. She rubs her cheek on his face, humming happily.

Clay says, “Marigold, please let me go.”

“No,” says Marigold.

You nod to Marigold as you pass. “Morning, Miss Merriweather.”

“Oh, Norma, Miss Merriweather is so formal, please address me by my first name!” she says.

You say, “Another time.” You head up the stairs and into the living area of Randall the Red and Marigold. There are only three rooms in particular, a bathroom, Randall’s room, and Marigold’s room. You knock on Randall’s door. “Mister Randall. I’m here. We opening the store?”

“Yes, yes!” he yells. He opens the door, sliding his arm into the sleeve of his robe really quickly. “Let’s go, kid.”

>> RANDALL THE RED <<
>> FORMER GRAND WIZARD AND OWNER OF CLAY’S POTIONS AND SOLUTIONS <<

You both walk down the stairs. Randall tells you, “I was up late last night working on a new solution. Think of it like this, a sword which instantly freezes your enemy on contact! Of course, Clay tells me that would just mean the sword would get stuck, but I’m working around it you know?”

You nod. “Of course, sir.”

Randall rubs his great red beard, white streaks running through it like lightning bolts. “Of course you think it’s a good idea right? I think it’s a good idea.”

> “Yes”
> “No”
> “I don’t know a damn thing about magic. Why are you asking me?”
> Write in

>>31102377
>> Make sure everything is in place before the store opens
>> Check in on Randall


We're on the clock

>>31102580
No no, we should try to sell her something like the good merchant we are. We need to play to her insecurities!

>>31102525
This

>>31102631
>> “I don’t know a damn thing about magic. Why are you asking me?”
>>31102631

"I'm not an adventurer"

>>31102631
>> “I don’t know a damn thing about magic. Why are you asking me?”
Damnit Jim, I'm a shopkeer not an adventurer!

>>31102642

Are you illiterate? She's the store owner's daughter.

>>31102631
>Maybe not to fight your enemy, but the meat packing district down by the docks would love it. They always have trouble with spoilage, and easy freezing would empty their purses quicker than I could blink. Maybe you'd try them?

>>31102631
>“Yes”

>>31102666
>Are you illiterate?
Yes.

>>31102631
> “Yes”
Maybe as a one use weapon or something, the enchantment triggers as the blade gets drawn.

>>31102631
>Write in
"What if the enchantment gets put on a mug or coaster, so a drink is always cold? The dwarves would be climbing over themselves to get one."

>>31102377
>Randal the Red
Thought of Adol for a moment there.

>>31102679
Seconding.

>>31102701
Whoa, that's actually a real solid suggestion that's basically just thinking outside of the box. Supporting this.

>>31102701

This.

>>31102679
Supporting this

>>31102701
>>31102679
These two.

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>>31102701
>>31102679
you guys could sell anything

>>31102631
Unless the wizard is willing to put up with gangsters doing puns about "icing" the competition, or the local town guards spouting "Freeze!" everytime, I'll have to go with these >>31102679 >>31102701

> Write in

You say, “How about using that on mugs or coasters or cups like that? Keep the drink cool. King’s blessing, maybe the meatpackers would like it too to keep their meat fresh.”

Randall nods. “Hm. I suppose that might work. But our main customers are adventurers and the like! People who need good enchantments for their good weapons!” He stops at the bottom of the stairs. “And honestly, I do like a nice freeze spell every now and again.”

You say, “Let me guess. Puns?”

Randall nods. “Oh chill out, kid.” You cringe at that. “Irregardless-“

Clay yells, “That’s not a real word!”

“Regardless, we have a business to run, if you find a way to sell that, do so.” You walk through the door and into the shop. Marigold is still hugging and stroking Clay like a fluffy toy bear. “Morning, honey. Ready for school?”

Marigold smiles. “Yeah, papa!” She puts Clay back down on the counter, to which he growls then phases back to the window display. “Oh, papa! I hope you’re ready today!”

Randall smiles, carefully adjusting display potions on the shelves. “Of course! Why wouldn’t we be?”

“Well, my class is coming over to see what kind of magic they can operate!” She tilts her head, walking up next to him. “You didn’t forget right?”

Randall looks down at her, smiling, for a full minute. He finally says, “Of course not! I will be welcoming your classmates amicably.”

Marigold grins, skipping along to the door. “Okay then! We’ll be here after lunch time! Soon you soon, Papa!” She opens the door and merrily skips along to school, her robe and cape swishing in the breeze.

Randall chuckles lightly, crossing his arms.

> “You completely forgot didn’t you.”
> “I’m going to have run some errands, aren’t I?”
> “Are you excited, Mister Randall?”
> Write in

>>31102419
Those two guys are my favorite characters...

>>31102848
> “You completely forgot didn’t you.”
> “I’m going to have run some errands, aren’t I?”

>>31102848
> “You completely forgot didn’t you.”
> “I’m going to have run some errands, aren’t I?”

>>31102848
> “You completely forgot didn’t you.”
> “I’m going to have run some errands, aren’t I?”

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>>31102800
The Nose Knows.

>>31102848
>“I’m going to have run some errands, aren’t I?”
We need a prototype "Evercool Stein" to try on the local dwarves.

>>31102848
> “You completely forgot didn’t you.”
> “I’m going to have run some errands, aren’t I?”

>>31102848
>I won't tell her you forgot for a few coins. just enough to pick up some candy from the corner shop.

>>31102894
>extorting your boss

>>31102848
>> “You completely forgot didn’t you.”
>> “I’m going to have run some errands, aren’t I?”

>>31102848
>"Do I get paid extra for helping you fix this?"

>>31102894

It's been three updates and you're already living up to your name.

I'm getting why everyone hates namefags at this point.

>>31102912
>not extorting your boss
With that attitude it's no wonder we're at the bottom of the ladder!

>>31102848
>> “You completely forgot didn’t you.”
>> “I’m going to have run some errands, aren’t I?”

>>31102848
> “I’m going to have run some errands, aren’t I?”
He obviously forgot. No use pointing it out. Just suck it up and get on with the job. We're being paid, after all.

>>31102848
>Sigh deeply
"Give me a list of what I need to pick up..."

>>31102969

>your boss is a former Grand Wizard

Probably not the best idea to piss off the guy who can turn you inside out with his mind, no matter how friendly he's been.

>>31103054
Randall used to be a Human Supremacist?

> “You completely forgot didn’t you.”
> “I’m going to have run some errands, aren’t I?”

“Let me guess. You forgot that she was bringing her class over today and I’m going to have to do something nebulously important to make sure the shop looks good all while getting underpaid. Aren’t I?”

Randall places his hands on hips, nodding to you. “That’s completely right, kid. We’ve taken store of the health potions right?”

Clay says, “The display potions are all we have left.”

Randall blinks, surprised. “Pardon? What do you mean all we have left?”

“Don’t you remember? An adventurer came last night.” He phases away from the display and towards the inventory room. You both walk over to see what Clay means. “He paid for it in knives, daggers, and broken shields.”

The inventory is stock full of weapons and shields, along with a mixture of spare potions of all elements and uses. The only thing missing are healing potions. Randall says, “What? Why did he pay for our health potions in this? We’re a magic shop!”

Clay says, “Because you thought we could get a good price on these weapons.”

[1/2]

>>31103099
[2/2]

Randall slaps his forehead, groaning in frustration. “King and Country! This is a disaster before we even open!” He snaps his finger. “Idea.” He looks over to you. “Kid, would you mind finding about ten or so healing potions?”

You tilt your head. “Where?”

“I don’t care where,” says Randall. He quickly runs over to the counter and opens up the locked drawer where the money is kept. He quickly bags thirty gold coins in and hands it off to you. “Take these coins, purchase them, steal them, I don’t care.”

You ask, “What about the weapons?”

Randall waves you off. “We’ll worry about that when it comes, heck maybe visit Mister Smith down at the blacksmith. Now get a move on!” He pushes you out the door. “And don’t come back until you come back with healing potions! That money is for you but I’d appreciate it if you’d only spend it on the potions.” He closes the door behind you.

You sigh. Figures. Where should you go?

> Sailors from down south usually have a wide variety of stores to sell, maybe they’ve got potions down at the docks.
> Might be worth it to visit the local Apothecary.
> Perhaps the local back-alley doctor has some.
> Perhaps Mister Smith has some spare potions he can be convinced to part with.
> Write in

>>31103113
> Might be worth it to visit the local Apothecary.

>>31103113
> Perhaps the local back-alley doctor has some.
I like back alley doctors.

>>31103113
>Go to the docks
>Gamble against some gullible travelers
>Use the original 30 to buy the potions from merchants
>Pocket the winnings for yourself

>>31103113
> Might be worth it to visit the local Apothecary.

Well, might as well visit the most likely source first.

>>31103113
> Perhaps Mister Smith has some spare potions he can be convinced to part with.
> Might be worth it to visit the local Apothecary.

>>31103113

Apothecary and Doctor seem to be the best bets, so we should probably check those places first.

>>31103113
> Might be worth it to visit the local Apothecary.
Sounds like our best bet.

>>31103113
>Sailors from down south usually have a wide variety of stores to sell, maybe they’ve got potions down at the docks.
We're in the same business as the apothecary; would he really help a competitor?

>>31103113
> Might be worth it to visit the local Apothecary.

>>31103136
Yeah, I have a feeling if we win big we'll end up getting the shit kicked out of us by angry sailors and/or travelers and dumped in an alley.

>>31103113
>> Might be worth it to visit the local Apothecary.

>>31102923
The reason is because we're recognizable, so we can be blamed for the shit we say.

>>31102848
> “You completely forgot didn’t you.”
> “I’m going to have run some errands, aren’t I?”
> Ask him if he would like you to get something to write his schedule on while you're out

>>31103163
What would you know? You're just Some Faggot.

But seriously, we're not going for lods of emone here, just a few extra coins so we can afford some actual Dinner-brand dinner tonight.

>>31103113
> Sailors from down south usually have a wide variety of stores to sell, maybe they’ve got potions down at the docks.
Plus we may see something the boss might want later

>>31103113
>Back Alley Doctor

When in need, consult your local street doc.

>>31103191
He totally won't wire you with a neural bomb. Probably.

>>31103177
No, but I got to admit, I am a rather huge faggot and I deserve any hate I get.

>>31103113
> Might be worth it to visit the local Apothecary.

>>31103113
>> Might be worth it to visit the local Apothecary.

>>31103191
Lets just hope the bloke isn't in need of kidneys, another vote for the street doctors.

>>31103113
>> Perhaps the local back-alley doctor has some.
These guys are always the best.

>>31103113
> Perhaps the local back-alley doctor has some.

>>31103113
>> Might be worth it to visit the local Apothecary.

>>31103113
> Might be worth it to visit the local Apothecary.
> Perhaps Mister Smith has some spare potions he can be convinced to part with.
Ask if Mr. Smith is interested in slightly used weapons

>>31103113
>> Might be worth it to visit the local Apothecary.

>>31103232
they're fun as characters, but notably unreliable.

>>31103293
What are you talking about, the local street doctor is more trustworthy than the local apothecary.

>>31103300

If they even look remotely shady I can promise you I'm NOPEing that shit.

>>31103300
>[citation needed]

>>31103322
>Back-alley doc
>Not looking shady

Looking like Dr. Frankenstein's bastard lovechild with Einstein and Goebbels is a prerequisite for even the entry-level of street doc-ing you fucking pleb.

> Might be worth it to visit the local Apothecary.

You place your hands in pockets, keeping your purse of gold on your belt. The city is already coming alive as people walk to and fro. You see huge hulking adventurers carry their loot on their backs, whether it be a monster skin, a great legendary weapon, or a bounty to be collected. Otherwise, people shout and call out their shops for purchase and selling. Near the gate of the city is always pretty busy considering all the people that come in during the morning, not to mention shops wanting easy sells on un-savvy travelers.

Still, people make a decent living here. You can even see a few kids running about here and there, playfighting as the noble King against the evil Elven armies who plunged humanity in a permanent winter all those centuries ago.

You arrive at the brick and mortar two story building, where above the door hangs a sign reading, “Medicines and Healing.” This is your local apothecary. You walk inside to see the old man, graying hair and black robes, at his desk. Behind is a large shelf of many different types of healing potions, all created by him.

He smiles as he greets you. “Ah, what can I do for you?”

>> APOTHECARY ABRAHAM ABADDON <<
>> HIGH CITY OF IMPERIAL CITY APOTHECARY <<

> Small talk
> “I need potions, stat.”
> Write in

>>31103335

Oh I'm sorry, that means I'm definitely NOPEing it for certain. Thank you so much for your information.

>>31103342
> “I need potions, stat.”

>>31103342
> “I need potions, stat.”

We need to prepare

>>31103342
>Small talk
Afternoon, Abraham. Patch any holes in adventurers lately?

>>31103342
Small talk? No time, we require potions.

>>31103342
>> Small talk
'So, you don't happen to have an alarm system installed already, do you?'

>>31103342
> Small talk

>>31103342
> Small talk

Maybe we learn of something useful we can afford after buying the potions..

>>31103342
> Small talk

>>31103342
> Small talk

We let on we're desperate, there's nothing to stop him from gouging us on prices.

>>31103342
> Small talk
If you seem desperate he could up the price on us

>>31103342
>Small talk
then after some talking
“I need potions"

>>31103300
sure. the friendly doctor work in an alley instead of an expensive office because he likes fresh air.

Also, he's environmentaly friendly: All his medical instruments were made out of scrap metal people threw in the street.

Your local street doctor is an incredibly chill guy, too. Contrarly from those stuck-ups that works in hospital, he will let you smoke, drink and do drugs. Hell, he might join you. While operating.

What a great guy, my friend the back alley doctor.

>>31103342
> Small talk
> “I need potions, stat.”
Be polite, then explain how you need potions.

> Small talk

“How are you doing, Apothecary Abaddon?”

Apothecary Abaddon shrugs, leaning back in his wooden chair. “Oh, it was quite busy yesterday. An adventurer came in yesterday, complaining of poison. Turned out he just drank some weird water, then we had a Royal Guardsman came complaining that women were too forward with him, I just told to switch soaps.” He laughs at that, to which you join him in it. “Hahaha! Oh, bless his heart, that poor boy.”

You nod. “Of course.”

“I recognize you though, you’re Randall’s shopkeeper aren’t you?” You nod. “Ah, how is Randall doing? Still coming up with lazy spells and the like?”

You shrug. “He pays well.” Why do you feel the need to lie.

“I assume you’re only there for Marigold, she is a fine catch,” he says. “I wouldn’t be surprised if Lord Leandros Lysandros Layton Lamarr the Fiftieth came for her personally.”

You say, “Well, I just do my job. But onto the reason I’m here. I need some health potions, standard, ten of them.”

The Apothecary nods, shutting his book and gesturing over to the shelf. “I’ve got a good number of standard healing potions! I price them at about one for five gold.”

You count that off. For ten, that would be… fifty gold.

> Haggle
> Accept the price and buy as many as you can.
> Refuse
> Write in

>>31103560
> Haggle
If he won't lower the price, can he store them aside for us? We still have the stuff we can sell to that Smith guy, maybe we'll come up with more money.

>>31103560
> Haggle

"We've got a new enchantment in development that can revolutionize storage of potions and reagents! And for a suitable discount, I can let you in on that revolution early."

>>31103560
> Haggle

>>31103560
>> Write in
Say we don't have 50 BUT we can offer him our services for anything he wants. This might be a job opportunity in the future since Randall pays so little.

>>31103560
>>31103593
seconding

>>31103560
> Write in
Crap. Anything you need done that can be done in the next 3 or so hours that will pay the equivalent of 20ish gold?

>>31103560
>> Haggle
make it 3 per potion

>>31103604
this.

>>31103607
>>31103604
Seconding offering services.

>>31103560
>Haggle

>>31103560

>>31103607
> Write in
>Haggle
This is a good idea but only if we can't haggle him down to 3 per potion

>>31103604

Going with this.

>>31103560
>Ask if he would be willing to be paid in adventurer's equipment
>If he isn't, ask him to reserve 10 potions for you
>Check the other place and come back if you don't find cheaper potions
>Try to make money in the process

>>31103604
i third this.

>>31103680

I veto his vote.

> Haggle
> Write in

“I don’t suppose we can do three gold per potion?” you say. Abaddon tilts his head, quirking his brow. “You know, I’m on a tight budget here.”

Abaddon shakes his head. “I’m terribly sorry, but I rarely change prices when I find myself satisfied with them, and I am satisfied with the price of five per potion.”

You sigh, rubbing your nose. “Four then?”

“No,” says Abaddon.

You cross your arms. “Well, maybe I can do you a favor or something? Heck, I might not have the money now but reserve those potions I might have it later.”

Abaddon scratches his chin. “Hm. I suppose I might be willing to part with these potions for free provided you were to…” he leans in closer, and you do as well, listening closely. “… perhaps, get me a gentleman’s book?”

You squint your eyes. “You want me to get you a-“

“I can’t be caught doing it,” says Abaddon. He quickly grabs a spare piece of paper and writes down the title.

“The Lusty Elven Maid.”

Oh, King’s Blessing.

“Get it for me, otherwise it’s full price, your choice,” he says.

> Get the book
> Yeah nah
> Write in

>>31103741
> Get the book
A used version.

>>31103741
Get the book
Wearing an over-the-top disguise

>>31103741
> Get the book
"The things I do to stay employed..."

>The Lusty Elven Maid
Heh.

>>31103741
> Get the book

The things we do for our boss.

>>31103741
> Get the book
Ask him where it's sold

>>31103741
>Get the book
This can't possibly go wrong.

>>31103741
>inb4 we're in Gertrude's dream or something.
"Fine! I'll get your damned spear-eared girly book! But you're paying for the magazine!"

>>31103741
>> Get the book

The guy better pay us extra for this shit.

>>31103779
>Get the book
Might as well, what's the worse that could happen.

>>31103741

>The Lusty Elven Maid

>not The Enslaved Elven Conundrum Dilemma

Abaddon, do you even deviant?

Anyway, let's go get that book.

>>31103782

We're getting 50 gold worth of potions for this, he's paying us pretty well.

That said, I hope to fuck we don't get caught doing this.

>>31103741
> Get the book
Probably from our master.

>>31103741
>> Get the book
Of course.
How old are we btw?

>>31103741
Welp, looks like we're getting this man his elven doujin fix.

>>31103808
18, in the second post

>>31103808
I think we're somewhere between "Read" and "the Thread."

>>31103741
"That's pretty vanilla."
Get a disguise and go after the book.

>>31103741
> Get the book

>>31103849
>Lusty Elven Maid
>Not "Wild Women of the Wood"

Stop pretending you have taste, Abaddon.

> The Lusty Elven Maid
Wait, aren't the elves loathed around these parts?

>>31103680
get out.

>>31103888
That's why he doesn't want anyone knowing he likes that shit.

>>31103888
Probably this world's version of Jungle Fever.

>Rimshot.wav

> Get the book

You say, “Fine. I must say Apothecary, you have very deviant, disgusting tastes.”

Apothecary Abaddon shrugs, smirking. “I consider myself a fine connoisseur of the arts. Just be glad I’m not having you pick up my other gentleman’s literature.”

“Please,” you say, about gagging a little. “No more. I can’t take it.”

He waves you away, to which you leave the Apothecary and head onto the local bookstore. Hopefully no one recognizes you when you’re in here purchasing… that. Good King, nothing makes your skin crawl more than the thought of sex with an elf.

You walk into the humble bookstore. The girl manning the counter is your age, with a new pair of glasses resting on her face as she reads a book. She looks up at you, smiling warmly. “Hello! How can I help you?”

> I need a very particular book.
> Small talk
> Write in

>>31103934
Please explain why in your setting elves aren't hyper sexualized ubermensch

What are they here?

>>31103934
"I'm here to pick up something for the Apothecary. If you love the King, please know what I'm talking about and let's just... be done with this."

>>31103934
> Small talk

And for god's sake, when we inevitably have to mention that we're getting that book, it's for our creepy deviant uncle.

>>31103969
Supporting this

>>31103934
> I need a very particular book.

Get this over with.

>>31103954
Is this bait? I feel like this is bait.

>>31103934
>>31103969
This

>>31103967
NOT THIS
outing him instantly is the opposite of why he sent us in the first place

>>31103934
> Write in
"I need to buy something, but it's not for me, still, you won't believe me anyway so...lets just get it over with."

>>31103954
Elves haven't been seen outside of their regions in centuries, people can go their entire life without ever seeing one.

The reason Elves are very looked down upon by humans is due to the fact that they cursed humanity with a permanent winter, almost causing them to go extinct. This caused humanity to migrate south into Elven territory which culminated into the Battle of Tirinia. The winter was thusly lifted upon Human victory, but there are still linger feelings of elven distrust and racism.

>>31103934
>> Small talk
And dodge the blame by any means possible.

>>31103934
> I need a very particular book.

>>31103967
The entire point of this errand is that the Apothecary can't be recognised.

>>31103983
In a small district like this, I don't think people really have many secrets from one-another.

>>31103988
So basically it's the same reason I can't get it up for niggers.

>>31103934
> Small talk
then
> Write in
Ask if there is a gentleman clerk on duty today as well. It's a hell of a lot easier to ask about that book to a guy than her.

>>31103967
DON'T mention him.
Do we hate anyone? Say is for him.

>>31103934
> I need a very particular book.

Why is it us doing this shit?

WHY

>>31103988
i fully expected that the elves to look far more alien than human. but this works as well.

>>31103934
"You can let me take you out for dinner."

>>31103988

Please tell me the elves are evil Fair Folk-style bastards that screw everyone over, kidnap children and look like piranha aliens with razor sharp teeth.

Because then I'd totally support Abaddon's fetish.

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>>31104059
Let's say people think elves look something like this in this setting.

>>31104052
Because we set up a bad flag by being genre savvy at the beginning.

>>31103934

>small talk

Before we do something that may ruin her impression of us forever, let's ask her out on a date. We may never get a chance after this.

This quest is so charming.

> Small talk

You lean on forward on the counter, sighing heavily. “So… what’s your name?”

The girl smiles further, blushing a little. “My name is Emily Eckhardt.”

>> EMILY ECKHARDT <<
>> BOOKSTORE PROPRIETOR <<

You nod. “That’s a nice name, Miss Eckhardt.”

“Oh, please,” she says clapping her hands on her cheeks, hiding her further deepening blush. “Just call me, Emily. Miss Eckhardt is my mother.”

Oh for King’s sake, this is not getting any easier.

You say, “So, Emily then. You have a lot of books here.”

Emily nods, grinning. She quickly adjusts her glasses then says, “We do! All of these books are brought in from outside the city, some are bought off from adventurers as well! We also have independent writers donate their writings to our store too!”

You nod. “Yeah… speaking of independent writers, I need a certain book.”

She drops her smile for an expression of curiosity. “Oh? Is it something we have here?”

> Yes.
> Actually, I think I’ll take my chances elsewhere.
> Write in

>>31104163
"The Skinflint Shopkeep and the Quest for Pornography!"

>>31104176
>Yes.
We can't stop now, this is Spaghetti Country.

>>31104176
> Yes.
Let's bite the bullet.

>>31104176
>> Actually, I think I’ll take my chances elsewhere.

I just can't break her cute mind. Promise to come back though!

>>31104176
>Well, I was hoping you could tell me that.

We don't actually know if it's at this shop, right?

>>31104176
"It's for my uncle, actually... he's an adventurer who's retired, and in his travels he developed some "tastes." My father wants to get him a gift, so of course I'm the one who gets to do his dirty work. I hate to ask, but do you have "The Lusty Elven Maid?""

>>31104176

>Yes.

I was told your store carries it. By my deviant uncle that forced me to go purchase it from you.

>>31104176
No fear now. Only dreams.

>>31104226
This works

>>31104176
> Yes.

>>31104163
a few more PGQ references than I would like but it's ok

>>31104176
> Write in
Maybe. Just point me at the Adult section, and I'll grab the book from there. Here's 20 gold as a down payment and if the book in question costs more, I'll cover the difference. If it's not there then I'm sorry for wasting your time.

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>>31103988
Knife-eared bastards.

>>31104176
>Yes

>>31104176
> Write in
Bluff like a mofo.

She can probably help. See, we need to acquire a book for some trader in exchange for money.
The guy doesn't want to lose reputation, so he sent us out to get his dirty stuff for him.
Damn rich people, right?

Anyway, the guy pays handsomely, and we're to keep the rest of the money if we can find him the book.
So, if she can help us find the book, we'll invite her out for a drink or something, and we'll pay with that rich dude's money.

>>31104226
Let's go with this. Tactful, but shifts the awkwardness off of us.

>>31104176
> Write in
"Maybe, There's no easy way to say this but do you have this book" *show her the paper with the name on it* " The apothecary is paying me for it because he's embarrassed about it, so do you have it?"

>>31104176
No way she'll believe us but that's half the fun. I'm going with this >>31104226

>>31104241
Wait, is that what this is parodying? FUCK!

Rolled 16

>>31104267

THIS

>>31104176
>> Yes.
'You see, I work at the down at the docks and this ship captain sent me to get him a book. He usually goes on long trips to the south seas, you see, so these books help him deal with the loneliness. Problem is he feels very embarrased about this whole thing, so he sent me here to get it for him.
Now here is when it gets interesting: He will pay me a lot of money if I get him the book, money I could use to... buy you dinner someday?'

>>31104176
>Yes. I HAPPEN TO LOVE LUSTY ELVEN MAIDS.

>>31104241
>>31104278
This Quest isn't intended to poke fun at Archelon. I happen to think he's quite the nice guy.

>>31104291
>I WANT TO FEEL THEIR EARIFICES IN MY ORIFINCES!

>>31104226
This one works.

>>31104241
>PGQ references

What? Where?

>>31104267
Too wordy.
>We need to acquire a book for some trader.
The guy doesn't want to lose reputation, so he's paying us to get his dirty stuff for him. A book called "The Lusty Elven Maid"

>>31104176

>Yes

"I was told your store has some material that could get you into trouble with the Kingsguard. Deviant literature for knife-ear lovers. If you hand all your copies over to me I'll dispose of them quietly. If not, well... Your shop may find itself out of business suddenly."

> Yes.

You nod. “I was told by my… father, that you happen to have a very particular book. We want to get it as a gift for my uncle who, as an adventurer, has developed very interesting tastes, and we want to get this as a retirement gift of sorts.”

Emily nods. “What book is it?”

You sigh. You slip the paper over to her, to which she reads, then immediately looks back at you, blank faced.

You say, “Do you have it?”

“Yes,” she says simply.

…

She slowly stands up then walks into the back of the shop. After a very pregnant pause, she comes back out with the book in question, dropping it onto the counter. “That’ll be five gold.”

> Pay the price
> Haggle
> Refuse
> Write in

>>31104383
> Pay the price
I swear it's not what you think it is.

>>31104307
It's OK no one got mad about bloodline protector quest. Or the hundreds of "redux" quests that are just new versions of other quests.

>>31104325
Ice puns. Royal Gaurdsmen that is complaining about being too popular with the ladies.

>>31104383
>pregnant

Take responsibility and pay for the book

>>31104383
> Pay the price
Don't meet her gaze. Just pay it and leave.

>>31104383
> Pay the price
> Give her the puppy dog eye look
"I swear I'm not a lesbian!"

Oh wait, wrong quest.

>>31104383
> Pay the price

Get this fucking over with, talk about humiliating.

>>31104383
>Pay the price
We don't need to go full pursketti

>>31104383
>Pay up

We need to get this dirty business done ASAP, no time to linger and possibly get noticed by someone while carrying /d/eviant material.

>>31104383
> Pay the price

>>31104383
> Pay the price

>>31104383
>> Write in
Pay.
Invite her for dinner after work.

>>31104409
And give in to her accusations?

>>31104383
Match her gaze while paying and leave with dignity.

>>31104383
> Pay the price

Never again.

I swear Schteel, are you trying to make this as humiliating for us as possible?

>>31104383
> Pay the price

>>31104442
"So...um...Emily. Are you into cosplay?"

>>31104383
> Pay the price
Just pay, apologies for being in this awkward situation, and leave. Leave fast and leave quietly

>>31104383

Bridges: Burned forever.

>Pay the price

Look back at her. If they didn't want people to buy that stuff, they wouldn't carry it.

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>>31104442
>>31104464

Don't forget to ask if she has some bag or something we can hide this thing in.

>>31104176
"Well, actually, it is your cheapest romance novel. I need it for pranking a friend"¨

Then we change the cover to a makeshit one with "The Lusty Elven Maiden", so our reputation is safe, the bookstore gets money and the Abbadon guy gets a novel he will think his is usual elf porn for a while

>>31104383
> Write in
pay the price and give her a little more to make sure she stays quiet about this.

>>31104383
>I don't suppose you've ever read this one?
LET'S DO IT /TG/.

>>31104512
I like that.

>>31104512
Welp, here's my vote.

>>31104512
Nope.

>>31104512
I like your attitude.

>>31104512
Supporting.

>>31104383
> Pay the price
> Write in
"Thank you very much, Emily. Sorry for this awkward request, I'm sure my pa'll get a hearty chuckle at embarrassing the hell out of his son."

>>31104512
Hell no.

>>31104512

Hell fucking no.

>>31104512
Veto, this is the stupid autistic shit that everyone mocks about quests.

>>31104512
Yes

>>31104512
Let's not.

>>31104512
>>31104512
DO IT DO IT DO IT
I SUPPORT THIS WITH THE FORCE OF A THOUSAND SONS

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>>31104512

Whatever happens, not this.

>>31104512
Please don't go with this.
It's being unnecessarily creepy.

>>31104512

Sometimes I wonder if people are actually competing to be as stupid as possible.

Anyway, veto.

>>31104512
As funny as that may turn out to be I'm gonna have to side against it. We need to get this shit done, not try and find out who would and wouldn't browse /d/ in this setting.

>>31104512
No
Just no
Take your medication and go to bed

> Pay the price

You drop the coins onto the table then pick the book up, placing it in a leather bag for privacy. “Thank you,” you say.

Emily nods, looking incredibly disappointed.

…

“Well,” you say. “I should go.” You point your thumb back at the door then walk backwards towards it. “Goodbye, Emily.”

Emily waves you goodbye, still looking incredibly disappointed.

You sigh as you leave the bookstore. You can never go back there again.

…

…

“Ah!” Abaddon flips through the book. “Excellent!”

You say, “Just give me my potions, Apothecary.”

Abaddon nods, standing up. He places the potions into a carrying box for you. “Alright. I am a man of my word! Here are your ten potions!” He presents the box to you, to which you take it eagerly. “Feel free to come by if you need surgery or medicinal advice!”

“Yeah, fat chance,” you say as you walk out.

Now what?

> You’ve got some spare gold. Maybe get some lunch at the Inn.
> Might as well go back to the Shop.
> Write in

>>31104512
Once more, into the breach

>>31104627
> Might as well go back to the Shop.

Whatever happens, I never want to do that again.

>>31104627
Go to a cartographer and get a map of the city.

Begin crossing off places we can NEVER GO AGAIN.

Make sure to buy a lot of ink.

>>31104627
> Might as well go back to the Shop.

>>31104652
The things we do for employment (and I guess Marigold's happiness).

>>31104627
> Might as well go back to the Shop.

>>31104627
>> You’ve got some spare gold. Maybe get some lunch at the Inn.
Buying pornographic books for some weird guy who sells me powdered rhino horn sure is hungry work, might as well go to Big Bessy's Greasy Cauldron.

Man you lot are boring.

>>31104627

> Might as well go back to the Shop.

Take a detour to walk by the book store in plain sight with a dejected look on our face like we sold our soul.

>>31104627
>> You’ve got some spare gold. Maybe get some lunch at the Inn.
We deserve it.

>>31104678
We should've said it's for our boss.
Apprentices stick together, you know?

>>31104627
> Might as well go back to the Shop.

>>31104627
>Hire somebody to pose as our uncle
>Have him go in raving about the book and hitting on the girl
>"Save" her
>Ask her out for dinner to apologize.

>>31104627
> Might as well go back to the Shop.

>>31104627
See this is why we should have gone to the street doc. He wants drugs, not porn.

>>31104627
> Might as well go back to the Shop.

We need to recruit allies for restoring our good name in Emily's eyes. Maybe Marigold can vouch for our not being a pervert.

>>31104627
> Might as well go back to the Shop.

>>31104627
>> Might as well go back to the Shop.
put those potions away before anything happens to them

We looked into the abyss, but we failed to reach inside.

>>31104627
> Might as well go back to the Shop.

>>31104704
Jesus Christ, let it lie. Why are you idiots so desperate to make it up to a girl we're never going to see again?

>>31104710
Or the cat.

>>31104710
I doubt Marigold even knows what a pervert is

>>31104735
Because /tg/ hates to lose.

>>31104727
>We looked into the abyss, and it gave us a reach-around.

>>31104735
Because mousie nerd girls in glasses are my fetish.

I am not lying, nor am I ashamed.

>>31104735
Because we refuse to lose.

>>31104747
The fools did not understand. There was no hope of salvaging the situation through awkward excuses, the relationship needed to be completely destroyed so that it could be built again from the ground up.

>>31104771
>>31104747

Adventurers refuse to lose. We are not an adventurer.

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>>31104763
We work for a mage, I'm sure we'll find more. For now we need to focus on making mad DOSH.

> Might as well go back to the Shop.

You open up the door and walk in. Randall the Red is busy sweeping up dust and dirt, trying to get everything clean for the arrival of the school girls. “I’ve got the potions, Mister, sir.”

“Good, good!” says Randall, barely looking up from cleaning the floor. “Put them in the inventory!”

You roll your eyes, then shuffle over to the inventory room and place the health potions down next to a giant rusting sword. You say, “Sir, I don’t really want to go through another experience like that, please tell me you don’t have any more errands for me to run.”

Randall says, “Well, her friends are arriving in thirty minutes. Do whatever you feel like. But don’t just lie around the shop, I don’t pay you to lie around.”

“You hardly pay me at all,” you say.

“True,” says Randall.

> Talk to Clay
> Help Randall clean
> Get lunch
> Other

>>31104793
So we've got 25 coins now, since the pervert made us pay for shit out of our own pocket. I say we go around town looking for a way to market that room full of junk weapons/shields.

>>31104840
> Help Randall clean
> Talk to Clay

> Help Randall clean
Get that shop clean for those QT schoolgirls.

>>31104840
> Help Randall clean

>>31104840
>Talk to Clay
Recount the tale.

>>31104840
Other
Lets make streamers, kids love streamers, right?

>>31104840
> Talk to Clay

Shenanigans with the local friendly spellcat!

Also, bitches love cats.

>>31104840
> Help Randall clean
> Talk to Clay
Do we keep the cash?