>>30724242
>hat of memes: control over the DNA of the soul

>>30724321
Fuck off, you were the most boring boss fight.

Wand of spell counter
Counts spells cast in it's vicinity.

Lense of detect magic:
Too bright to see through.

Wand of Cure Critical Wounds

Target is cured of emotional distress caused by being criticized.

>>30724340
what an exquisite meme

>>30724353
>Counts spells cast in it's vicinity.
That is not useless. That's incredibly valuable for detecting spellcasters who are trying to hide their magic. Especially valuable for ensuring that mind-control and ability boosts are not in use in politics and competitions.

Staff of magehand

Is actually a mundane staff was the amputated hand of a mage tied to it.

>>30724584

But how is the wand going to tell you how many spells it has counted?

Rod of Mighty Dragonslaying
Reads as non-magical, is too heavy for a human to wield, and the 's' was only recently scratched into the grip.

>>30724403
Imagine if you could fire this through the Internet.

Imagine if you could create a charm that applies this effect constantly.

Imagine if you could create a machine that spreads a field of anti-butthurt across the entire world.

Rod of Cloudkill

Kills target cloud

>>30724242
Sword of Mercy - Like a regular sword, only it cannot actually harm anything, no matter how hard you swing it.

>>30724637
I envision it having a setting of gems in it that show a binary display in like 4 or 8 bits.

>>30724894
It should only harm things that want to die.

Rope of Untying: A rope that will not hold a knot no matter how hard you try

Staff of Balance: A staff that will always fall and right itself to stand on end

Rebounding Lantern: A lantern that bounces as if made from rubber

Cape of Despair: The wearer of this cape cries uncontrollably until removed

Amulet of Reverse Gravity
Upon putting it on, amulet will reverse its gravity and fly up off your head.

>>30724894

Might be nice by putting on a play.

>>30724242
Wand of shadowwarp
Turns shadows inside out

Wand of disintegration: Wand disintegrates on use.

>>30724602

>>Backscratcher

>>30724946

Give is a slip knot and put it on your enemies

>>30724850
Not at all useless. Aim it at a hurricane, goodbye flood-producing clouds.

Ring of spiderclimb

Allows wearers to climb spiders.

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>>30724799
Peace and happiness for everyone, forever.

>>30725048
Would have been useful in Limbo.

>>30724242
Ring of Radius - It always fits the finger its placed on.

>>30725098

Now i have an idea of a mud golem covered in sod and shaped like a gnoll that you hide behind

hehehehe I need to take my medicine and go to sleep

Ring of Invisibility, when you put it on, the ring turns invisible.

Sword of Chaos: when you attempt to attack with it, the attack is redirected in a random direction.

>>30725193
That's an awesome item, invisible knuckle dusters for days

Potion of Dihydrogen Monoxide: Corrodes non-enchanted iron objects, causes severe burns in gaseous form, lethal if inhaled.

>>30725222
The whole point of useless items is to find uses for them.

>>30724242
Hat of OP - Turns you into a bundle of sticks

Wand of obscure object

Wand turns into an obscure object on use.

>>30724242
>Orb of Slope Detection
I don't get it

>>30725300

Think about it for a moment.

>>30725300
Orbs roll.

>>30725040
>Fire rod at hurricane
>Hurricane dies
>Corpse of hurricane falls to the ground
>Including all the water vapor it contained

Goodbye flood-producing clouds. Hello flood.

Wand of alarm
Target is surprised

>>30725113
Good for proposing to fat people

>>30725113
>Not Ring of Perfect Fit
It would be great for marriage.

>>30724894
Foil the execution of the true kind by switching the sword!

>>30724894
Sword of No Mercy

You become unable to heal people while wielding it in two hands.

Wand of Locate Object

Locates whatever object it is pointed at

>>30724941
Staff of Balance? You just discovered a source of perpetual energy! Attach the staff of balance to a wheel or mill and voila! Free energy.

>>30725383
King*
Fucking smartphones are retards sometimes

>>30725441
Goggles of See Invisible

Any invisible objects you see are visible to you.

Good one ring. From time to time, after saying a relevant phrase, the wearer can hear a voice saying "good one."

>>30725222
௵

What IS that. I've never seen it before

>>30725485
Looks like Sanskrit to me.

>>30724403

Wand of Cause critical wound

Causes target to suffer from the humiliation of being criticized

Sword of Healing - Heals every wound it causes instandly

>>30725589

Eh, probably wouldn't be that effective. What if you stab them and leave it in them?

>>30725631
Or just kill them in one stroke.

Even if their brain is repaired afterwards, cutting off access to the brain for even a second is not healthy.

Wand of Wish
Target experiences wishful thinking

Helm of Nostalgia - Wearer will suddenly remember the show Dinosaurs.

Wand of Sadness - User will become sad while using it.

Gloves of Unified Phalanges - Really, just mittens.

>>30725501
>>30725485
nvm, not Sanskrit or Arabic, too loopy.

Something Middle-eastern though.

>>30725631
>>30725654
ah i guess it kind of Works like the Sword of Mercy further up but it does damage only it heals it instantly so you wont get deeper than a little cut becuase always rehealing does stop it from penetrating further...
Guess it like a konstant scratch on the person cut with it must be realy anoying

Ring of Speak with Plants

Allows the wearer to speak with plants. Plants will not answer being non-sentient.

Wand of Chilling Grasp
Chills target drink

>>30725822

You do realize how goddamn useful that is, right?

Boots of Tightness - Boots magically change so that they are a size too small for whoever wears them.

Ring of Arnold Murphy - The wearer's name will temporarily change to Arnold Murphy

Axe of Bovine Execution - Whenever the axe draws blood a random cow somewhere on Earth will die a mysterious death.

>>30725839
Pants of Tightness - Same effect.

Klingon Armor
It's just spandex.

>>30725839
>Limiting the axe of bovine execution to only one planet
If it were me, I'd make it off a random cow anywhere on that plane

>>30725839

>Boots of Tightness = Wonderfull Torture Device

>Axe of Bovine Execution = +3 dmg +Moral dmg Against Indian People

>>30725885
Only hindus

>>30724982

How the hell would that work? Best not to think about it.

Wand of Torture
Gives splinters to whoever holds it.

>>30725901
still usefull you could become Arnold Murphy the thight bane of Hinduism

>>30725885
That would be the worst torture devise.

"So prisoner, how are the boots?"
"Ok... I mean, if you can find me a size eleven that would be great but these will do for now."
"Are you ready to talk?!"

Cape of apparent invisibility - Wearer is under the impression that they are invisble as long as it's worn, and even being confronted cannot convince them otherwise

>>30725193

Is it possible for that kind of magic to be imbued into something other than a ring? Like a pair of gloves with spikes on the end. That aught to give a nasty surprise.

>>30725924
let them walk around a bit

>>30725944

>magic things that aren't rings

I don't u-understand?

>>30725232

So, it's a potion full of water.

>>30725959
thatsthejoke.wav

>>30725366
>target is surprised
The rogue would get a heck of a lot of use out of that. Sneak Attack damage for DAYS

>>30725959
I think that was the joke anon-sama

>>30725948
"Well traitor! I hope you don't mind a little trip... to the store and back!"
"Oh boy, I am going to have a blister tomorrow, I just know it."

>>30725485
looks like that weird language they have in Thailand.

Weatherproof cloak - Cannot be affected by any weather phenomenon. They will pass right through and onto the wearer.

>>30725831

Bar owners would kill for that sort of thing.

>>30725995
I think they sell those at Wal Mart.

Helm of the unseen - makes the user unable to see things

Plate of buffet
Continuously shows live footage of jimmy buffet shows

>>30724242
Helmet of mind control

Wearing it allows you to control the mind of whoever is wearing the helmet

>>30726025
Monks could POWERLEVEL with that shit.

>Wind-blown Cloak: a cloak that will always appear to be blown by an invisible wind. not useful for protection from the elements.

>>30724242
Ring of invisibility

Allows you to be invisible so long as no one is looking at you

Bracelet of Perpetual Time - A metal band worn on the wrist that magically indicates that it is 4:25 regardless of the actual time.

Wand of Timestop
Activating stops time for everybody for 10 seconds.

>Ring of ethereal form
Upon wearing, a person will move through any physical material, causing the ring to fall off.

>>30725989
you never went around in boots that are to small did you ?
at first its only a blister but when you walk around nonstop for a day parts of your foot start to "disapear"

>>30726043
Useful for looking dramatic

>>30724242
>Ring of fire
A metal band that while worn can be activated by the user
When activated it engulfs whatever is touching in in resistance ignoring fire

>amulet of mind reading
A steel amulet that broadasts the users thoughts involuntarily to everyone in a 100ft radius

>>30726065

Can keep a readied action to get a free dodge against all missile attacks.

>>30726025
>>30726035
yeah, I had a player mind control his character into doing nothing but training, also effectively giving himself infinite willpower and a number of feats involving ignoring pain and fatigue to accomplish certain actions

This item can be broken by a clever player

>>30726093
>amulet of mind reading
>A steel amulet that broadasts the users thoughts involuntarily to everyone in a 100ft radius

Also images? If so in the hands of the Sick Mind that thing would become quiet terrible

Necklace of Fresh Beats - Wearer will speak only in rap.

>>30726093

So, everyone in my building will hear and see my rape fantasies?

>>30726173
and your inane thoughts about how you really like whatever food you are smelling, and that you itch, and pretty much everything

>>30726167
Best item.

>>30726223
or your plot to overthrow the monarch of <x>..

>>30726167
Has no effect on white dragons.

>>30726223

Put it on the right gibbering psychotic and you could conceivably get a WMD. Just need a tightly packed crowd, like a colosseum, which would already give them a predilection toward violent thoughts and acts. Nutter of Instant Riot.

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>>30724602
Is it wrong i imagined this?

Ring of Truth - The wearer is able to tell when they are lying

Orb of Smash Mouth - Summons the band Smash Mouth, can only be used once.

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>>30725272

>>30726285
They will not eat any eggs presented to them as tribute.

Wand of Wish: When you tell this wand your wish, anything you wish, it will tell you one of its own wishes.

>"I wish for a million gold pieces"
>"I wish I was a real child ;_;"

>>30726319
I thought of a similar thing
Sword of truth: Whenever someone touches it, they tell the truth of a random lie they've told

>>30726319
>"I wish I was immortal"
>"I wish you would stop sticking me in your back pocket"

Ring of One Up - Whenever the wearer describes his abilities to someone, Josh will interrupt and talk about how he is slightly better at it.

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>>30725272

Ring of Flight: This ring has tiny silver wings on it. When you wear it, it will start rapidly flapping its wings.

>>30726336

Sword of Uncomfortable Truth: When wielded, user blurts out a true fact relating to themselves they'd rather not reveal in polite society.

>>30724242
>360 degrees

Ring of Haste

Wearer is always in a hurry

Sword of Dragonslaying: When held, this sword will give you tips about slaying dragons.

>"Try not to get hit by a dragon's breat attacks! They can hurt a lot."

Boots of Quickness: These boots can be put on or taken off in less than a second.

Ring of Giant Determination - Wearer will be able to tell if something is big or not

Boots of Water Walking

When filled with water, they start walking away.

>>30726445
>PROTIP: Stab the dragon until it dies.

Ring of Counter Spell

When placed on a counter, this ring will cast a random spell.

Sentient armour: rearranges itself to avoid being struck by weapons.

>>30726491
That spell will almost always be Random teleport

>>30726520

Alternatively: Ring of Teleportation

Ring will occasionally teleport itself randomly

Sword of judgement:
States it's opinion on every action you make.

Cloak of Misdirection: The wearer will randomly hear spoken directions incorrectly.

Wand of Summon Wand: This wand can summon Wands of Summon Wand. Using the wand destroys it though.

>>30726421
>why'd they call it the xbox 360?

Antimagic ring
Ring occasionally states its negative opinion concerning wizards

Sword of Axe: This sword turns into a battleaxe when a command word is spoken. It can't change back.

>>30726554
The voice sounds like Gilbert Gottfried.

Helm of Charisma: When you wear this full helm, your face appears to be strikingly beautiful, increasing your social ability when talking to anyone that can see your face.

Fire distinguisher

Pointing at a fire will tell you if it is fire or not

Wand of Steve Extermination - causes all Steves in a one mile radius to instantly die.

>>30726629

Good for identifying illusions.

Sword of Rust: This sword rusts very easily. It will practically be useless after a few minutes of use under rain.

>>30726638
more like ray of steve extermination right?

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>>30726420
Jesus Christ, that's evil.

Red Gauntlets of Illusion - Fools everyone but the wearer into thinking they are actually blue

>>30726613
>When you wear this full helm, your face appears to be strikingly beautiful, increasing your social ability when talking to anyone that can see your face.
>full helm
>can see your face.
That was a subtle one.

Bag of Holding: This bag can be held by anyone.

>>30726461

Good to issue to fast reaction troops and rogues. You can quickly "toggle" between barefoot (read: moving silently) and wearing heavy boots.

>>30726467

Useful as a distraction. Water a small plot of land. Auto-walking boots if it still counts as "filled" when you stick your feet in afterwards.

>>30726638
Situational, but powerful.

>>30724941
Rebounding Lantern could be good for determining the depth of pits and shit.

>>30726740
my DM insists on calling EVERY BBEG Steve, we don't know why.

>>30724941
>keep rope of untying on you at all times
>get attacked and knocked out
>your attackers tie you with the nearest rope available

>>30724894
Interesting, the paladin in my current game has a sword of this name, it receives +1 to attack rolls but only deals nonlethal damage.

Shirt of Duck Perception Prevention - Wearer is immune from all spells that would make him think he is a duck.

>>30726784
People named steve are assholes.

See: Steve Jobs

>>30726812

Oddly specific.

Bag of bags: This bag can only hold other empty bags, and once placed into this bag, said bags can also only hold other empty bags, any bag of bags has infinite holding space though.

>>30726822
Very useful if you are a bag salesman.

>>30725915
Summons a Lego under target's foot.

>>30726663
Took me four seconds. crikey.

>>30726822

Nesting bags are always useful. Carrying one bag that is actually 85 bags is far better than carrying 85 bags.

>>30725232
>Potion of Dihydrogen Monoxide: Corrodes non-enchanted iron objects, causes severe burns in gaseous form, lethal if inhaled.
Too obvious. You need to do better than that anon. Dihydrogen Monoxide is a common sense test to see if people figure out it spells our H20 meaning water.

Call it a "Potion of Hydroxylic Acid." Unless they know their chemistry, they're much more likely to fall for it with that name.

>>30726894

"Potion of pOH 7"

Wand of create wand. Has one charge. Creates a wand of create wand that has one charge. When out of charges, wand of create wand turns to dust.

>>30727036

Think of all the free dust you could get.

>>30726279
There've been times I could have used this for myself. Also self discovery tool for monks.

>>30727127

If you say something you think is true, even if it isn't, you aren't lying.

Codpiece of the Infinite Erection

>>30727151
I think in uncertainties and am very good at fooling myself. Or maybe I'm not. I dunno.

>Ring of Strength Draining - Drains the wearer's strength, ring becomes stronger

>>30727256
You can reforge the ring into a badass spearhead, or at least the tip of a spearhead if its too small.

>Ring of concience
You feel really bad about yourself. The ring can be removed, but you're afraid you'd feel even worse if you did.

>Invisibility cloak
The cloak turns invisible when you put it on. You don't.

>Hat of discomfort
The hat never goes with the rest of your attire, and you're painfully aware of the fact. Can't be removed.

>>30727282
Not if it's too strong to reforge.

>>30726445
>"Hit it´s weakpoint to do massive damage"

>>30727287
I hang glittery shit on it and twirl.

>>30726564
>peasant's firecracker
Shame peasants can't afford such a wand

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>>30727287
>Hat of discomfort

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>>30726784

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>>30724941
>Rope of Untying
Could be useful in a situation where you need a rope to not get tangled up.

>>30725276
Depends on what the obscure object is. Could be very useful for disposing of possibly dangerous materials.

>>30725693
Useful for door-to-door salesmen
>damn, I wish I could have a chocolate bar right now
>sir, do I have just the product for you

>>30725716
>Wand of Sadness
Could be interesting, have that be an unidentified mark on a wand and watch as your local wizard becomes more and more depressed over his work.

>>30726017
So a blindfold, or a bag over someone's head?

>>30726052
>of course it's 4:25, just check my watch

>>30726404
Shit, I'd wear that just to show off for rich people

>>30726428
Never miss another meeting

>>30726498
A goo-filled suit of armor with this would be pretty hard to deal with.

>>30726822
Again, very helpful for door to door salesmen

Cursed throwing darts

A potion of curing
filled with pineapple juice.

>>30727287
>>30725193
>weave rings together into invisible chainmail
>look like a toughguy braving a rough storm naked

>>30727762
Man I wished that comic never died. I always got a chuckle from it.

>Tin of Great Storage - A small tin used to store anything that can fit inside it

>Hammer of the Brittle Mountain - A hammer imbued with the power to crush mountains, but will break permanently if used even once

>The Egg of Hands - An oval shaped object bound in the skin of the great Devil Boar. When held under the arm is shields the holder in a thick casing of armor

>Staff of Giant Killing - Boosts any rolls related to playing sports

>The Twenty First Helm of Shielding - Increases movement speed and agility to super human levels

>>30727762
What's the comic?

>>30725839
>Evil sorcerer learns your name and is going to use it to curse you.
>Wear Ring of Arnold Murphy
>curse fails because you are no longer Fighter McFighterson.

>>30726084
A particularly important modifier for Perfomance (Brooding Hero)

Spear of Godslaying - A spear capable of piercing a god's heart even in their heaven's. Too long to actually move

>>30727826
I thought it just took months to update. Is it really over?

>>30727895
Gone with the Blastwave. Check it out man.

>>30726663
You evil motherfucker.

>>30728076
Will do. Thanks mate.

>>30725781
But aren't plants sentient?

Excuse my stupidity, I wasn't very good at Science and Biology.

>>30724242
>Gem of Anti-Magic - Casts an at-will anti-magic field five meters around the user. This artifact is magical.

>>30729659
Sentient implies they can make decisions and think independently outside of basic responses. Plants, and some would say most animals, only respond to basic stimuli and don't think for themselves. If you put a mixture of flies and pebbles in a flytrap's mouth, it doesn't think to pick up and remove the pebbles, it just closes and tries to digest everything inside it.

>>30726112
Wouldn't it also make him susceptible to crashing into mental feedback loops? If he slept with it on, could dreams adversely affect his psyche?

Card of Distraction: See other side for more details on how it is used.

>>30726701
Even those with a horrible aversion to holding bags?

Wand of Growth - a stick that magically grows over time
Bag of Holding - a magical satchel that can easily be held (assuming nothing is inside it and you have free hands)
Ring of Warmth - a ring that is magically lukewarm to the touch
Ring of Cold - same as above, except the ring feels slightly cold

>>30729800
>Wand of Growth
Enchant that thing with some indestructibility and strength enhancements, place it somewhere structurally weak and use time magic to accelerate its growth.

The wand is suddenly impaling the planet.

Glock's wand of Minor Perforation: An intricate magic-imbued piece of machinery that cauese holes to appear in the object it's pointed at upon use. A critical miss however will cause it to explode like a Fireball spell centered on the caster.

>>30729822
If you had that kind of magic at your disposal, you could just alter the time around the structurally weak point, leading to its quick decay. You wouldn't really need the wand or enchantments.

>>30729826
>Glock's wand.

Use it on a ship.
"Yar, captain, the ship be full of minor perforations! We be going under!"

Also, debuff yourself so you will critical miss and wear talismans that render you immune to fire. Magical grenade ahoy!

>>30729822
Assuming playing around with the density of the wand doesn't alter its ability to grow, eventually it would hit something strong and stop.

>>30729750
Sentience is what you described in the second and third sentences. Sapience is "I think, therefore I am."

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>>30729851

>>30725468
No no, Goggles of See Invisible: these opaque goggles make everything invisible to the wearer.

Belt of belting: when worn, the wearer's behind stings as if it had just been lashed by a leather belt
Hound of Tind-Er-lust: a small, onyx figure of a twisted eldritch dog. Sniffing the rear of the dog makes you suddenly attracted to thin wooden objects

>>30726019
>Continuously shows live footage of jimmy buffet shows

You are an evil, evil person.

Bow of Seeking Missile: When fired the arrow seeks the user of the bow

Ring of Silence: The ring makes no noise when it comes in contacts with something

Sword of Fire: The handle of the Sword bursts into flames when wielded.

Staff of Summoning Skeleton: The staff summons the users skeleton to fight your enemies.

>>30731687
replace your with his or her

>>30725839
>Ring of Arnold Murphy - The wearer's name will temporarily change to Arnold Murphy

>put ring on devil
>now devil's truename is Arnold Murphy

>>30731846

To add to this:
>as the devil "Arnold Murphy" what his real truename is
>remove ring and use it for the next devil

With this item you could enslave all of the nine Hells to your will.

>>30726467
"the man we're tracking went this way!"

>>30727836
>The Twenty First Helm of Shielding - Increases movement speed and agility to super human levels
Presumably it doesn't change your reaction speed or ability to survive running full-tilt into a wall head-first?

>>30726638
Incredibly useful in Minecraft PVP.

Ring of Stoneform: Gold ring that turns to stone when worn

>>30725822
You just invented the fridge.

Shoes of Mercury: fly away when unattended

>>30724403
tumblr would rejoice.

Amulet of Water Breathing: Fills users lungs with water

>>30730016
Wouldn't those be 'Goggles of Unsee Visible' ?

Wand of Death: Causes target to die 1 hour before they would normally have died of old age

>>30727175
Should be Chastity Belt of Infinite Erection.

>>30731656
Useful for grabbing the attention of one person and one person only.

Helm of darkness. When worn darkness surrounds the wearers head and makes it impossible for him to see.

>>30725485
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Javanese_script

>>30726093
>Amulet of mind reading
The solution to broadcasting your thoughts to everyone is to babble about inane shit like the weather or sports

>>30726063
So, forever?

>>30725589
Non-holy Double damage to undeads! That's really awesome

>>30726663
I hate you.

>Sword of Planar Crossing - When swung, the sword teleports to the other plane it is bound to.

>>30726796
Then they say "Wow, this rope doesnt work" and use a different one.

Its not like it wont hold a knot very long. It wont hold one at all. As soon as you tie one, it gets unknotted.

Tome of Darkness: Opening the book causes the opener to go blind until it is closed.

>>30729851
>Debuff yourself so you will critical miss
>Implying you can debuff yourself to critical miss.

5% chance. Always.

>>30731631
>Wear all over my body
>Stealth mode engage

Ring of Farming: Wooden ring, gives wielder the ability to items they own into shit. Spell is cast when wielder thinks about item turning into shit.

>>30734832
*to turn items

>>30734786
>>30729851
>>30729826
Flaw in the design of this one is a misinterpeting of the rules, skill checks cannot critically fail. Would be better to re-write as "has a 1/20 chance of".

>>30726819
fuck you Wozniak is practically a saint the guy's so fucking nice

>>30726063
I see use of this, fire crossbow, activate, watch as guy falls over dead as the bolt has already been in him for most of those 10 seconds.

>>30735389
Stops time.

Not freezes everyone.

Stops time.

>>30734832
That is OP as fuck.

>Steal item
>Turn it to shit
>No more macguffins.

>>30726025

Makes you immune to psionics.

>>30726894

I find people are more freaked out by Hydrogen Hydroxide as a name, due to vaguely-understood concepts of alkalis from school.

Further, Dihydrogen Monoxide is simply wrong. Following correct guidelines the name would simply be Hydrogen Oxide. This is because, chemically, each of two hydrogen atoms are acting as a single electron donor to oxygen to form a covalent bond. There is no way for a single hydrogen to bond covalently with oxygen and no way for multiple oxygens to bond with single electron donors, so neither the specifier Di- or mono- are necessary (hydrogen hydroxide, incidentally, is describing the alkali solute of water in water, where hydrogen ions and covalently bonded hydroxide ions are diffused through hydrogen oxide molecules)

>>30726564

You mean the wand of placing itself in a terrible position, breaking and therefore exploding? Nice!

>>30726701

My handless gnome thanks you.

>>30726812

This... This wizard had a very odd rival.

Orb of Orb Detection - Detects the first orb in a hundred mile radius (itself included).

Fork of Disappointment - Regular fork sold at a very high price.

>>30725314
>>30725320
Not that Anon but, fuck I'm an idiot. My first thought was that it calculated the slope of a line.

Research Tome
This 100 page book, filled with 25 different versions of the same 3rd level spell, plus a primer page each casting noting the high end academic brief on the strengths and weaknesses of each version. While only good to learn this spell once, the entirety of the tome is excellent reference into the magical underpinnings of the effect and grants you a +2 circumstantial bonus to spellcraft check made to craft magical items that has this spell as a requirement. This bonus stacks.

Price: As spellbook with 25 lv 3 spells in it.

>>30726025

Someone could use that to undo mind control effects on someone by putting it on the controlled persons head.

Satchel of Spoilers - When books are stored in this satchel, it will tell you (in a boring, masculine, monotonous voice) all of the boring and/or lame stuff that happens in the book.

>>30736975
Place in a reference text, suddenly audiobook learning onbound.

>>30728076
>I thought it just took months to update. Is it really over?
I think that the one I am just looking at right now is completely new.

>>30732499

BSDM.

>Helmet of Mind Reading

When worn, allows user to physically see the brains of others. Has no psychic effects whatsoever.

>>30737790
It lets you see infiltrators from non-human races disguised as humans by nonmagical guises.

Bet you didn't think to disguise your internal organs, huh?

>>30725589
That sword is the perfect torture device. You can break any man by feeding him his own testicles 3 times a day. Or even running it along the sensitive nerve endings 3 times per day.
What If you use a different knife to cut someone open then put the sword in their body cavity then sew them up/heal them magically.

>>30726582
Stab someone with it and say the command word. It'll fuckemup real nice.

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>>30725002

Rod of meat.
It's just a big salami.

Infinite Pot of Re fried Beans

Can produce an unlimited amount of refried beans from nothing. The more you make in a day, the worse they taste.

>Greatmace of the Gelatinous Cube - Squelch.

Night of the Living Haggis:

This peice of meat is indestuctable and will always move towards the nearest true scotsman.

Cockring of Penis Extension

Will allow you to trade width for length or vice versa in equal proportion by volume.

Novelty Singing Hooters of Autranacht

Fake boobies that create a sound like a theramin depending on how you touch them.

>>30739692
Ah yes, Autranacht. The women have a saying Autranacht, it goes, "Thats not what you said da Autranacht!"

Skeptics Spellbook

Any person who tries to write in this spellbook becomes convinced during that period that magic does not exist.

lamp of inadequete light.

Provides just enough light to obscure the details of whatever it is you are looking at.

ring of murderous shadow

your shadow gestures to the people around you while you are not looking and tries to convince them to kill you.

>>30726887
Can be argued against, with an unclear victor. Primarily, lose-one-lose-them-all cases are the point I'd like to make. Same situation as carrying a bunch of fivers, or a larger denomination of money. Convenience is convenient, but less secure to a degree.

Utiliks Magical Consentual Lovemaking Tentacles.

This spell summons tenticles from the negative material plane. They will not restrain, fight, or combat anyone, but will engage in consentual intercourse with any one who desires to do so.

>>30737344
Gubleshew.

>>30732465
>Epicly long boss battle
>Several party members die
>Boss close to death
>Use wand on him
>Finish him off
>Time fucks itself bringing dead party to life and healing your wounds

Obo's magic stinkpile

The more waste is piled on this heap of unnatural pink flesh, the worse its odor. First conceived of as a seige weapon, it was abandoned when they realized that before the stench reached the neighboring castle, they could no longer approach the pile to feed it more garbage due to the odor.

Ring of Not Your Fetish

Will make all those you are attracted to sexually inclined to indulge in fetishes you find abhorrent, even if they normally have no such inclination.

>>30739718
Why am I hearing this in Fred Amerson's voice from "the Fingerlakes" sketch!?!?!?

>>30740137
*sexually inclined to indulge in fetishes with you that you find abhorrent

>>30729973
>filename
Fuck, man, I got myself a Boomerang in BL2 and it was THE MOST THING EVER fuck mang loved it

>>30730016
Joo Janta 200 Super-Chromatic Peril Sensitive Sunglasses?

>>30739570
endless supply of fertilizer for the magic stinkpile. potential wmd when put together.

>>30732413
Even better, Tumblr wouldn't have any motivation to keep being... tumblr-y anymore.

Cigar Cutter of Regenerative Penile Function

When a penis is cut off using this cigar cutter, it will grow back.

Wand of Forgetting.

This item would come in handy, if you ever remembered you had it.

>>30740304
feed the world. If they are hungry enough, they will eat it.

>>30740030
>old age

You just guaranteed your boss can't die until an hour before he dies of old age. Congrats.

Deck of 2/7 Offsuit.

Whoever owns this deck of cards will be dealt a 2 and a 7 of different suites while playing the first hand of Texas Hold Em, everytime.

>>30740379
>gift to someone
Say, anyone up for poker?

Dress of the Noblewoman

While wearing this dress, everyone will be convinced that you are a woman, no matter how hideous. It automatically adjusts to your height and weight.

Horn of Amplified Flatulence

Makes your flatulence 10 times louder than it normally would be. Is of no use as a weapon, despite what your friends might say.

>>30740364
what about preemtively shooting it at your party members before fighting that boss?

Petrified Monkey Anus.

This ring will cause male apes and monkeys to be amorously inclined towards you.

>>30739648
Is it willpower activated? Can I activate it while already inside of somebody, so as to pulsate inside of them as it switches back and forth?

Reusable Trojan

This condom is made of rawhide and can be used over and over again without any chance of getting a female pregnant.

>>30740637
why... yes, yes it is!

>>30726019
shows it to the wearer or to the people looking at the wearer? Would be effective if it's the second one

>>30740573
Why would that help? It only affects natural death causes. If you fuck up and die any other way the rod isn't gonna save you.

>>30740304
i should mention this only works if it is applied to oneself.

>>30740573
Doesn't seem to prevent anything, just makes them die then if they haven't already died.

>>30740512
Perhaps by itself, it is of no use as a weapon, but add a torch and you've got yourself a burning hands spell that never runs out of gas...

>>30740030
Your party retroactively found the boss already dead. You gain no XP and his minions have already looted the treasure.

>>30724242
>Gem of Feather Fall - All nearby birds lose their feathers
That would be really useful to a poultry farmer.

bucket of dirt

this 1 gallon bucket appears empty, until it is tipped over, when a bucketfull of earth appears inside of it and falls onto whatever it is being poured on.

Shovel Of Unending Fatigue

This shovel allows you to use it for shoveling for as long as you normally would be able, only you will feel no fatigue so long as you continue to use it.

After you finish using it, you will become as exhausted as you normally would after working for however long you continued using it.

Ring of Chastity

This ring will cause those you are attracted to to become sexually aroused at the thought of rejecting you, to the point where they will find any excuse to repeatedly deny you any form of affection or sexual contact.

>>30741156
Ring of Appreciated Unrequitement
This ring will cause you to become sexually aroused at the event of somebody rejecting you, to the point where you'll intentionally and uncontrollably botch any and all moves made on somebody while wearing it.

They're complementary.

Ring of Charity

This ring will cause others to seek any excuse not to pay you or give you money for any reason. People will still accept any money you have, and will not necessarily try to cheat or trick you, but will simply refuse any offer you make that would require them to pay you, no matter the circumstances.

>>30741224
>>30741156
A couple wearing these. One rejects the other. Suddenly both so horny they fuck right there and then.

>>30741254
A couple only in the... strangest sense.

>>30740659
...rawhide...
ow

Ring of the Homosexual Agenda

This will cause everyone who you are sexually attracted to to want to watch and/or participate with you while you have sex with a person of your own gender, regardless of your orientation.

When asked why the enchantress Sylvia created the ring, she said, "Its a power thing."

Illusionary Elephant

This will create a large pink elephant to appear to everyone in your vicinity, except you. It will follow you around no matter where you go, even indoors, and others must make a willpower roll to comment on it or even mention that it exists.

Gloves of the Barn Door

These gloves will cause every door in the room you are currently in to slowly begin to unlock and creak open. This happens very slowly, over the course of an hour or more.

This thread turned into "items just fuck the user over, but aren't I funny for thinking of this?!"

>>30741619
they are supposed to be cursed or useless, or only mildly beneficial.

The idea is find ways to subvert their powers to make them useful.

>>30741618
I forgot to mention, this only happens on doors you could open or unlock normally, and has no effect unless the gloves are being worn.

>>30739478

this one got me

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Poison wig!

It must be eaten, though; you have to make someone eat it, not just wear it.

New gamemode, /tg/:

Find the best two-item combinations of these things. Obvious combos like >>30741156 and >>30741224 are to be avoided. Define "best" and try to impress us.

>>30724602
>fuckingbrutal.jpg

>>30725407
Well, DUH. You need a free hand to heal anyway.

>>30726043
+10 Charisma

>>30727175
>>30732499
>>30737344
>>>/b/