Twitter: @HeroRena>Last time on HERO QUEST!>Our hero was assigned by the Hero Association to train a newcomer, Jade Revolver. Rena was able to give the new hero great advice and set her on the proper Hero Path. However, a dark secret was revealed. This so-called Hero was none other than the S-Class Villain Void's daughter! With her secret revealed the evil not-hero fled. Rena is safe for another day.>We join our hero a few days later, having caught up on the impressive amount of fan letters she received. She returns from her daily training with some news from Robomaid.
First
>>30662484Pay your damned rent and Decu won't fuck up your shack.
RM: "Mistress. A message came from Shadow Man.""Oh? What's up?"RM: "He wanted me to inform you that your coffee get-together was today. Also the Hero Association is having a 'No Fatalities In 5 Days' celebration. You are welcome to attend with some friends if you choose. It seems he regretted not inviting you to the last one."Oh yeah.Coffee thing.Totally forgot about that.
>>30662536Is it too late? Shit. Go have coffee with Shadow Man and then go to the party. Take Bridgette and Sparkle. Show off your godson.MGS: "She's not the godmother."Show off your godson.
>>30662536You should do that Rena. You should invite anti-hero!And how long can you run now?
>>30662536Forgetting a date, Rena? That's not cool.
>>30662536get the coffee!go to the party with Shadowman!
>>30662536Yeah, lets see Shadow Man for some coffee. Why not.Might as well drill him for some information on Anti-Hero and whether he knows something about QB.
>>30662536They're trying to pair you up with Shadow-man. You're aware of that now, right?
>>30662536>Coffee then take Shadowman to the party.DRAG HIM!I just hope he hasn't fallen for you.
>>30662536YOU BETTER HAVE FORGOT CAUSE YOU WERE TOO BUSY EXERCISING.
>>30662535But it was the new villain Meteor Bunny.
>>30662536Yeah go for the coffee alone or with Robomaid. We should invite her cause we haven;'t done anything with her for a while.
>>30662641Nothing fit for public, anyway.
>>30662536Is it really so bad for other heroes that "5 days without fatalities" is something to celebrate?
>>30662641Supporting this. Robomaid needs something to do other than cleaning, especially now that she's able to have fun.
>>30662641Does...does Robomaid drink coffee?
>>30662632Y-yes...>>30662658Makes you wonder, huh? I'm glad that that wasn't me, actually... I get the feeling that the world outside my home might be a bit more violent than I assumed...>>30662641Eh. I'll go on my own. Robomaid can come to the party.>>30662573Oh man, yeah. I think the girl could use a party. I mean, she quit but I can still invite her. Right?I'll ask Shadow Man if he knows where she is.Now, what to wear..?====================================You are now Shadow Man.>Shadow Man stands in front of his closet with a frown on his face.>It appears that most of the clothing he owns is dark and brooding. It was rather embarrassing going out for coffee in that last time. He needs a better outfit but he only has an hour before he's supposed to meet Rena.
>>30662725REAL COFFEE!?FROM THE HILLS......OF COLUMBIA!?
>>30662658there are villains like spine ravager who are less like the monster family, and more like serial killers with super powers.
>>30662725She'd probably drink whatever Rena told her to.
>>30662536let's go have coffee with shadowmanTHEN SURPRISE HIM BY TAKING HIM TO THE PARTY
>>30662744Bleach your clothing.
>>30662744>>It appears that most of the clothing he owns is dark and brooding. It was rather embarrassing going out for coffee in that last time. He needs a better outfit but he only has an hour before he's supposed to meet Rena.Button down+dark chinos
>>30662744Eh, whatever, this is a friend date. No need to look nice, and we look weird if we aren't in a brooding outfit.
>>30662744Do you have any casual clothes at all? If not, see if someone around the Hero Association can lend you a hand with that.Maybe Omen?
>>30662744Spend some money. Get a camouflage modifier to your costume.
>>30662744Quick go buy some light-colored clothing with hearts on it or something. That's what girls like.
>>30662744You may have to consider wearing something that isn't 100% black
>>30662799By which I mean, something to let you change your clothing's appearance.
>>30662744Hey Shadow Man? I'm going to try to help you out right now, don't even think of trying to pursue Rena. The girl doesn't do relationships. At all. This path only leads to your frustration and depression.Hell, you should know this if you've been stalking her like I think you have.
>>30662744Uh, are any of your capes reversible or something?Kind of short notice to run out and get something totally new, after all.
>>30662744Get a trendy black suit and some nice sunglasses!
>>30662744are they reversible?
>>30662831This. Try that Bridgette girl instead.
>>30662744First thing you do is take off the hat. It's fine when you're a hero, that's part of your costume or whatever, but wearing a hat indoors is for hipsters and losers. And I assume you wear something under that cloak, right? Just go out like that, it'll be fine.
>>30662869I don't think that would work
>>30662744Something white, with a cape
>>30662886>And I assume you wear something under that cloak, right?Special ability: Paralyzing flash
>>30662744It's only a friendly outing, why the effort.Though I do agree you need a better outfit.Also congrats on the hearing voics club how do you feel?
>>30662886Most of what you wear should be fine. Just, get a white-tee and maybe a checked shirt.
>>30662744I'm gonna give you a tip shadow man.Buy. Rena. Food.Get her one of them cinnabons to go with the coffee. Or a big ol' chocolate muffin.
>>30662886>>30662849But the only thing I wear besides cloaks are really expensive black suits... That still is my Hero costume but I suppose it will have to do.>>30662831I've studied her psych report quite extensively. I've determined that she enjoys video games, food, letting time slip through her fingers, and safety. I've also discovered that the girl has had 0 successful relationships with her longest being a month and her shortest being a few minutes.But I have something that those people didn't have. A thorough understanding of this girl. I believe that if I can appeal to her love of fine food and video games I can win her heart. I have come prepared. During our coffee date I will present her with the latest Mario game and casually bring up dinner reservations at that one place near the resort.It's foolproof.
>>30662943>Get her one of them cinnabons to go with the coffee. Or a big ol' chocolate muffin.You uncultured swineBring her a whole lasagna!
>>30662951I await you imminent failure
>>30662744Go buy a T-Shirt and jeans.That will take like 15 minutes, so you'll have plenty of time.The t-shirt should be white with the words "Totally not a spy" printed on it. History dictates this will be the most effective disguise ever.
>>30662951Good luck. That plan sounds solid.Aside from the fact that Rena isn't aware that she has a vagina.
>>30662904Shh, it'll be hilarious
>>30662951>Don't doubt yourself>Don't doubt yourself>Don't doubt yourself>Start doubting yourself.
>>30662951That all sounds nice, but man, don't get your hopes up.
>>30662951>It's foolproof.You're fucked.
>>30662951You are not the first to attempt this, but good luck. In any case, you sure look spiffy.
>>30662951You may be over preparing. Improvisation is a very useful skill, especially in social situations.
>>30662951Shadow, you fool. Trust me, I've been in that girl's head. This path leads only to ruin.You know what? If you think you are such hot shit, go for it. I need a good laugh.
>>30662951Good news is you can be as blatant as you want when you hit on her and she won't notice. Bad news is she won't notice
>>30662951Why Rena? Why not one of the Rangers, the mayor's daughter i mean
>>30662951your plan is as solid a plan as there can be.except for ONE CRITICAL PART.casually bringing up dinner reservations.You have to -invite- her to dinner. Directly.
>>30662951You like Rena!Anyway, you look way too formal. This is just coffee, not a dinner date at a fancy restaurant.Or is it?
>>30663014Yeah, why not the Mayor's daughter? She's adorable, an inferior, and totally desperate.
>>30663018Well, the critical mistake is actually trying to get into a relationship with Rena, but you do raise a good point.
>>30663014why not Madam Hourglass or Rider?Both of them seem more competent and attractive
>>30662951>It's foolproof.the first mistake that anyone makes trying to come up with something foolproof plan is to underestimate the ingenuinity of complete fools.I look forwards to watching you learn this lesson.also: Stalker much?
>>30662951You are going to fail so hard that you are going to create a singularity of failure, and everyone who isn't you will win forever.
>>30662951The only thing you would've gained from studying her head is learning about us. How's your plan going to work if she's on auto-pilot while we bum around with you, huh?We're the driving force her her finding a relationship. It'll be like trying to seduce a rock, I'm telling you right now.
>>30662951Maybe, but the main thing about romance is that your partner has to be interested in you. Just trying to appeal to what she/he likes will usually make for a pleasant pastime, but it won't be romantically fulfilling.
>>30663041She also has actual curves.Her Hero rating isn't the only thing that's D-class.She's got bigger rocks than Rena will ever have.I'm saying Rena is a flat-chested man-girl and the Mayor's Daughter actually has fun things to play with.
>>30663043Way out of our league.
>>30663088Look at Rena's picture up there. Her boobs got bigger.
>>30663006Planning is the key to victory. Observation and then careful planning. If you improvise things can go wrong.I'm not good at spontaneous things.>>30663014...I like redheads.>>30663036Fine. I'll just wear a button up and a tie.>>30663050It's my job to learn about every Hero and Villain. I'm just using information I would have obtained anyway.Trust me. I can do this.I have what others have lacked. I will win.Alright, I think my outfit is all set. Anything else I should grab before going? I feel pretty confident.
>>30663107her body is finally getting some of the nutrients it needs after her years of poverty and abuse
>>30663107>Her boobs got biggeris rena pregnant
>>30663126Some hip-waders. You're so deep in denial it's going to soak through into your pants and boots.
>>30663131>>30663107Maybe she's also developing the most common female superhero power.
>>30663126Buy some lasagna, like a whole fucking lasagna.Trust me.
>>30663126>I have what others have lacked. I will win.You do have half-decent odds, I reckon. She did ask you out first after all.I mean, so long as you don't feel emasculated by that or anything.
>>30663136I think you mean eggnantIt was all that sleeping together with Bridgette
>>30663126I wish you great luck shadow man.Though this will be a challenge.my advise to you?HANDHOLDING. Break that filthy shit out early.
>>30663126Remember to ask her about her hobbies, dreams and ambitions.
>>30662951You're treating a woman like a math problem. There's no sure thing when it comes to relationships.Haven't you ever watched any romantic comedy movies? You're the over planning perfectionist who goes through hilarious and awkward misunderstandings.
>>30663131That, and she's getting into shape.Rena is /fit/ now.
>>30663155Wrong, MAKE some lasagna
>>30663166Ah: Is that the Kyoko Special?
>>30663126Wear a ton of AXE body spray, women love it trust me.
>>30663126You need some sort of delicious cheesy snack.And a very large dose of luck.
>>30663178Muscle girls are my fetish.This can only go good places.
>>30663126You want to be dressed nice, but informally.Keep the jacket, lose the tie.Also, her sexuality is ASEXUAL, so you're doomed to failure from lack of interest, but good luck realizing this before you've invested too much emotion into this to realize your mistake.
>>30663126bring pictures of Splarke's baby. Rena likes cute
>>30663126...you haven't been in many relationships, have you?
>>30663126Take off the sunglasses are you fucking kidding me. And comb your hair.
>>30663126expect progress, if any, to be slow.glaciers would like a blur.
>>30663126Wear a Spider-Man tie. Bitches love Spider-Man.
>>30663190You are correct, sir!>>30663200Shadow Man don't do this. Please.
>>30663204>Also, her sexuality is ASEXUALWhat if her sexuality was dormant because of horrible nutrition and lack of exercise.
>>30663203Dranule? Ygg?>>30663213He has been in many relationship! But they never knew...
>>30663126Do not mention breasts.
>>30663215>Old man and woman sitting on the porch together>The woman looks to the man>"I think... I think I'm ready...">Man looks over expectantly.>"Would you like to... hold hands?"
>>30663147So far in denial QotW is going to have you arrested for trespassing.But godspeed anyway, Shadow Man.
>>30663236Mention breasts
>>30663126Don't expect things to happen quickly with her. Take baby steps.Also later on make good with Bridgette. She'll catch on to what you're doing eventually, so best to get it over with.
>>30663229Are you trying to tell me frozen lasagna isn't nutritious? If so, you are completely mistaken sir.
>>30663233>implyingMy fetish is also musclegirls and I am neither the anon you're talking to nor the two faggots you mentioned.Besides, Ygg/Dranule are the same person.
>>30663126> I like redheads.You are a gentleman of impeccable taste.Anyway, some flowers would be nice, but she'll probably abandon them or won't know what to do about them.You don't want to appear as a creep, so don't do anything that makes it obvious that you've been watching her.Your best bet would be to take her to an Italian restaurant somewhere and get her lots of lasagna. Don't get her drunk, she can't handle alcohol.She also can't pick up on clues as easily as others, so you'll have to be a bit more forward - but not too much, that backfired last time.If you're going to go somewhere later on, hit the arcades, because that girl loves video games. Expect her to kick your ass, so don't hold back.Also carting is great fun.
>>30663251Why should he care what some second-rate villain thinks?Bridgette can go and stay go.
>>30663126Good luck Shadow Man. May you succeed where others have failed.
>>30663251Meh, she seemed pretty ok with Rena's rejection. It's something to watch for but I don't think she'll overreact. She's pretty level headed.
>>30663203She's a tomboyish, redhead musclegirl with freckles, and a total bro.Rena is a 10/10.
>>30663324I would make a rena preggo
>>30663324I like all of those except freckles.Close enough, though.
Introduce Rena to this human emotion called love.
>>30663241slow down anonyou're going to fast
>>30663214This.Take off the sunglasses, they work for your outfit but not for dates.
>>30663213I have not but I've read enough. I think it's simple.>>30663214But... I can't stand bright lights.>>30663236I won't.>>30663166Got it.>>30663168I think the problem with the world now is that not -enough- people treat things like a math problem. If we had been more calculating we could have avoided all the destruction 75 years ago.Since I joined the Hero Association things have gotten much better. It's thanks to me that we have our current Rank Up system rather than the mess that was there before.>>30663283... That is some really good advice.I will do that.Hmm... I have some time before I reach the coffee shop. I can spend a bit of it talking about any Hero or Villain. I know about all of them so ask away. Might only have time for one, though.
>>30663324Kind of agreed.Though, not 10/10She cannot produce monster daughterus.
>>30663398Tell us about Hourglass.
>>30663398Raindrops.What exactly is her current job all about? Artifact finder?
>>30663398You look like a fucking Homestuck you tool. Take off the damned glasses.
>>30663398Tell us about Omen. How many men are gay for him.
>>30663398>If we had been more calculating we could have avoided all the destruction 75 years ago.Holy shit, is this... Exposition about the setting?
>>30663398Take off the glasses, for now. It makes you look a bit dickish, and she hates those. If you studied her relationships, you know that her ex was the Dark Stranger, and that he's an asshole.Also, really, really important. You pay for everything. She doesn't know how to handle large amounts of money, and could end up paying thousands of dollars for something. That, and it'd make you look like a proper gentleman.
>>30663398>But... I can't stand bright lights.If you can't handle the sun then how will you handle the blinding radiance of Rena's naked figure?
>>30663398Hold the fuck up buy that cute thing I want it
>>30663398Sir Bearington pls
>>30663398>It's thanks to me that we have our current Rank Up systemYOUUUUUUUUUUUUUIT'S ALL YOUR FAULT
>>30663398I rememeber her last boyfriend wears sunglasses because he's cool.Also sudden plans may come up, go along with it
>>30663398tell us more about the chief and his voyeur bots
>>30663398What happened to the guy that S-class was named after? Caped...something or other.
>>30663429>It makes you look a bit dickish, and she hates those.She hates dicks?We already knew that.
>>30663398>that magical vampire rena merchandise in the backgroundI wanna hear about the S-Class Rank 1 hero
>>30663398>magical vampire renaPause your train of thought to consider what in gods name they are selling in that store.
>>30663398Tell us about Void.Or the Spine Ravager.
>>30663398Don't wear the sunglasses into the restaurant, at least.
>>30663398I'd really like to hear about Hourglass. She seems like a pretty awesome lady, and I've never seen something like her powers.
>>30663398Larro, now I want real life Magical Vampire Rena merchandise. I will pay you real money to make it happen
>>30663398GET THAT MVR FIGURE FOR YOUR PERSONAL COLLECTION
>>30663398>Hmm... I have some time before I reach the coffee shop. I can spend a bit of it talking about any Hero or Villain. I know about all of them so ask away. Might only have time for one, though.Talk about the mysterious Void
>>30663398How about that Lord of Death guy
>>30663398Do you have any clues about a weird hooded cat figure going about?Supposedly it's the thing that attacked Sparkle, Rena, MGS, MM, QotW and is making new Magical Girls.Any info on that thing?>>30663409We don't know that yet. When she was a vampire, she probably could.
>>30663398Hidden past of what the male of the Monster family has been up to.
>>30663456You're thinking of Bridgette.
>>30663477I wonder if Bridgette shops there.
>>30663443...You might now want to bring that up when you go out for coffee.As for the hero, who is S-class rank 1?
>>30663398>MVR figure in the back>next update is JR buying it
>>30663398What's the deal with Spine Ravager?
>>30663439...But we're a voice in his head. Temporarily at that. That would be a waste of money for him, and a bit creepy if Shadow Man went on a date with Rena while holding a MVR figurine.
>>30663398Have you ever met Spine Ravager?
>>30663398ask Rena if she's into anal play
>>30663429Addendum - if you can't handle bright lights, when you get her to a restaurant, find a private table somewhere in the back. You'll get some privacy, it'd be a bit romantic, and if you turn away from the lights, your eyes won't hurt. You won't look like a tool wearing them inside a restaurant, and for added extra, she'll be in the limelight.
>>30663398S-Class rank 1, tell us about himAlso please don't buy that figurine
>>30663603that's disgustingpeople poop from there
>>30662536Robomaid looks like she's drooling.
>>30663398Don't tell her that you made the ranking system.She will hate you forever for that.
>>30663654when's the last time we gave her the robo kibble?
>>30663646Not all the time.
>>30663663this.You must keep that a secret from her.Forever.
>>30663663Right. Keep the conversation away from work. Focus on relaxing and getting to know her better, what she likes, what are her hobbies, that stuff.
>>30663670I don't see what difference that makes.
Oh god they made an anime of Rena....Sparkle is going to have a fit.Also I just imagine her returning to alcohol, if her son is a big fan of the tv show.
>Do you have any clues about a weird hooded cat figure going about?He has alluded even me.And fine. No glasses. Ugh... Sunlight...>>30663477What?Oh...Yeah. Rena is actually quite popular right now. She has a bit of a following. Her official sloth deck page has over 3000 followers now.These figures aren't too bad and she was officially added to the Hero TCG a while ago with her own themed deck 'Stone Cold Rena'.You want to know about Madam Hourglass? Very well. Her parents were 'naturalists'. They believed that we should try and reconnect with the remaining forests in the world. They took their young daughter, Janet, along with them on their trips. The two of them were convinced they could speak to animals and would often imitate the sounds of nature around them. Her daughter picked up on it and gained a knack for connecting with beasts. During one of their trips they uncovered an hourglass. There was a blast of light and Madam Hourglass's parents were gone. She survived on her own in the wilderness for a while before finding her way back here. She had that hourglass with her and with it she gained power over time. She used this new power to become a Hero and once she reached S-Class she was given the title Madam Hourglass.
>>30663721>alludedEluded. You mean eluded. Unless he has made allusions about you whenever he talks.
>>30663721so she was raised in the woods by... time?
>>30663717>returning>implying she left
buy her one.
>>30663721>1% offWhat a fucking racket
>>30663241Goddamn spoiler that stuff, I just woke up, can't handle that much lewd this early in the morning!
>>30663721Larro if you find a way to make those Rena dolls I will buy 7 regardless of price
>>30663721> Stone Cold RenaDid her recent increase in popularity have something to do with Jade Revolver's visit?
>>30663765Increased the dosage.Well also she's a mother, I expected her to hold back on it a little
>>30663721she sounds like a handful, and I imagine Rider isn't much better. I understand your interest in Rena nowGood luck and God speed. Consider buying intro decks of the TCG for the two of you at some point
>>30663603Don't you mean Renal play?
>>30663824Renal play means... Something different.Something very different.
>>30663818Actually, yeah, Rena might be into some tabletop gaming.
>>30663824Really? That's the pun we're going with? You've gotta be kidney me.
>>30663721Buy that MVR doll
>>30663824you go die and go to paradiseCarlos
>>30663721Shadow Man, what do you mean "remaining forests?"Emphasis on "remaining."
>>30663721That is... Actually kind of lame.Tell us about Spine Ravager!
>>30663721You mean like this?
>>30663426Oh, c'mon, silly, it's not gay if it's for Omen.
>>30663824HOW DOES ONE PLAY WITH KIDNEYSI NEED TO KNOW BECAUSE REASONS
>>30663872Lower back rubs I guess.
>>30663721Are you at all disconcerted that there is a host of disembodied voices residing in your mind, or is this a regular occurrence in this society?
>>30663409Of course she can! Sure, she wouldn't have them with you specifically, but that's not Rena's fault, that's because of your inferior non-monstrous seed.
>>30663872Juggling?
>>30663699Neither do I.But I'm pretty sure Caffornicator would be able to explain it.Gotta ask next time we are in her head.
>>30663872drinking
>>30663872Scalpels and marionette strings?
>>30663761Who knows. Honestly? I suspect it was bears.>>30663855Remaining as in there are few left after what happened. Between the S-Class Heroes and the God Level Mysterious Beings there was just so much destruction.>Shadow Man arrives at the cafe and sees Rena coming up.R: "Hey! Sorry I'm late!""It's fine. I just got here. You uhm... Look good."R: "Thanks! You too. Finally not wearing that cloak, huh?""Not today. Just casual.">The two of them take a seat and order their drinks.>Shadow Man goes over the advice he was given."So... I don't think I've asked you before but what are your hobbies?"R: "Huh? Oh. Hmm... I like to play video games, I guess. I mean. Games in general. I don't think I've found a game that I didn't enjoy. Except for Risk. I'm not very good at that game. What about you?""Collecting information and sometimes I go and play card games with some of the other heroes."R: "Card games? Like Card Battle: Super Destruction?""Well... Mostly just the Hero TCG. I have my own Iced-T deck. I'm surprised you didn't know about it."R: "I didn't know we had a card game based off of us! Why does no one tell me these things!? I need to buy one! Am I in it?""You are indeed in it. They even have a started deck for you."R: "Oh man I'm going to buy all the cards. I have the money.""Well, if you want I have extras. I can set you up with some."R: "That would be awesome!"See? I think I can do this.Look at that innocent smile. It just makes you want to protect it forever.Now I just need to find out how to bring up dinner later.
Rolled 3>>30663979Try not to lasagna, Shadow Man.
>>30663979>bearsSO THIS IS THE DESTRUCTION THAT RISA WROUGHT ON FOREIGN DIMENSIONS
>>30663979Tell her you have a throbbing clue.
>>30663979...Man, you're hooked in hard, aren't you?Please don't freak out or be a douche when she inevitably rejects you.
>>30663979when is the dinner?You could ask her if she's going to the party, and then after that, ask her if she's free on (day) for dinner.
>>30663979Shadow Man you have great taste
>>30663979Just offer her free food shadow dude.
>>30663979Not today....man.There's a hero party, and knowing your stalking powers you should have realized this
>>30663979Imagine having sex with Rena.
>>30664048You do realize he can see everything we post.Including images.I think you know which ones I'm talking about.
>>30663979>I suspect it was bears.Is Madam Hourglass on good terms with Barrington?He seems like the bear type of person.
Shadow Man seems like a pretty cool guy. I'll support him in his endeavors.
>>30664048"I don't understand. What's happening? Why did you put your penis inside me?"
>>30663979Just ask her if she wants to get dinner at this Italian place with great lasagna.She will be so attracted to the lasagna that she will not refuse, no matter how awkward you are.
>>30663979Rena's going to a party today, dude. Just cancel the reservations and go with her. This isn't an official date to her yet, talk to her at the party to set up one proper, huh? You're doing okay so far, don't blow it.
>>30663979Ask how things are going with Bridgette. You don't want to be too forward if there's still some awkwardness there, and you want her to think you're interested in her friends as well.Girls love it when you're friends with their friends.
>>30664101This.
>>30664077Does she even know what a penis is?
>>30664103Never. Talk. About. Exs.
Isn't Shadow Man the guy who invited Rena to the hero party? Shouldn't he already know about it?
>>30664121IIRC she once disabled a Villain by kicking him in his family jewels, so she at least has some general idea that such things exists.
>>30663979Do some small talk first. You don't want to appear like you're rushing things.Shadow dude, when's the party? Ask her about it, and whether she has any plans for it. If she doesn't, ask her if it'd be okay to go with her to it. If you have the time, maybe hit the dinner before the party - you know this amazing Italian restaurant that serves the best lasagna ever.But, in case you don't have the time for a proper dinner because of the party, just ask her to meet some other time. You have to take it slow with her. Invite her on a game date, if you want - carting, arcades, and lasagna. You can use the opportunity to set her up with her own Hero Deck, and teach her how to play.
>>30664131Bridgette isn't Rena's ex, though.
>>30664142I think the dinner reservation is on another day entirely.
>>30664131Bridgette isn't an ex though.
>>30664071The two of them are very very good friends. It is rumored that they went out for a while but broke up on mutual terms. Of course, Hero gossip can't be believed."So how's everything going between you and Bridgette?"R: "Bridgette? Uhm... I don't wanna talk about it right now."Oh god I messed up.Dammit.I'm messing everything up.Oh god.Should I abort?
>>30664179Stop panicking or you'll vomit
>>30664179Quick, move on to ambitions!
>>30664179Don't worry, you're fine. Just stay calm and be casual. Talk about card games or video games or favorite foods or something.
>>30664179NONOYOU CAN SALVAGE THISAsk what she's been doing lately. Even though you already know.
Rolled 48>>30664179ABORT! ABORT! NO TIME FOR THE DOOR, GO THROUGH THE WINDOW! FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK!
>>30664179Don't abort. Calm down, don't panic, keep it cool. You're doing good so far.Just say how you heard she got hurt recently in a fight, and you're curious if she's feeling alright.Just friendly concern, is all.
>>30664179Resume dating procedure.If you are too panicked for dating procedure, use smoke bombs to escape.
>>30664179BRING UP LASAGNA, IT ALWAYS WORKS
>>30664179Just change subjects.
>>30664179SMOKE PELLETS AND BAIL OUT.You have failed and we are all ashamed of you.
>>30664179>Should I abort?You're a long way from fucking up that badly.One benefit of Rena being Rena is she'll let you know if you done wrong.
>>30664179Apologize.Also, note that fucking up on this sort of thing is actually a good thing for you. You know so much that you can come off as stalkerish, so when you ask a question that you don't know the answer to--especially if it's awkward--it shows that you aren't cataloging her every move.
>>30664179No. This is a good thing. You have got confirmation that Rena is single and available. All you gotta do is to take it slow and give some obvious hints and she can be your girlfriend. So take heart Shadow.
>>30664179Shadowman, it's time to bring out the big guns: buy her some foods
>>30664225>One benefit of Rena being Rena is she'll let you know if you done wrong.Uhh... I don't think this new Rena is like the old one.
>>30664179SQUAD BROKENhttp://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MbRGg3e1b68
>>30664179Backflip through the window and run off.
>>30664179Apologize first, stay calm. Talk to her about the 'No Fatalities In 5 Days' celebration. It's good for casual conversation, she'll probably ask you some questions and keep to flow going.
>>30664179This is what happens when you listen to the voices
>>30664179SHE'S STILL SMILING IT'S COOL
>>30663979ask her "How was your day?" nod and offer various platitudes during the ensuing 40 minute conversation
>>30664251Oh, please. She hasn't changed anywhere near as much as you seem to think she has.And she's open and honest to a fault.
>>30664179The way the lines of Rena's body and chair taper out as they meet the table looks weird. It's like she's growing out of the ground or dissolving into some kind of goo.
>>30664179switch subject to Robomaid, Jade Revolver, or the bizarro ride with MGS
>>30663979>innocentShes into bondage, you know.
>>30664179just change the topic. she's not offended she just would rather talk about something else.
>>30664179Bail. She knows.
>>30664375I wonder if there are any action figures with SUPER BONDAGE OUTFIT
Right. Okay. Calm down. I got this.Still in control.>>30664375What?"Ah. Sorry. I didn't mean to bring her up."R: "No, it's fine. We just had a bit of a... Fight? I don't really know what to call it. She wanted me to be with her but I kinda just wanted to be friends. It took a lot of talking and fighting to get back to where we were and-. Ah, I probably shouldn't keep saying. It's kinda private? I really don't think she'd want others to know."Well, I already know."I understand. So, you going to that party later?"R: "Yeah! I missed the last one so I'm definitely going to this one. You're going too, right?""Of course..."R: "Great! Maybe we can walk there together after this?""Sure thing."Things are not going as planned."So I was thinking... If you're free next week maybe we can hang out again? Maybe go go-karting or something?"R: "Yes! I love go-karts!""Great. And uhm... Perhaps have some dinner afterwards? I know this great Italian restaurant."R: "You had me at Italian."The books did not mention this terrible feeling of an icicle being jabbed into my gut.But I think I'm doing well so far. How do I even tell if I'm doing well?
>>30664430Now seal the deal! Tell her you share her bondage fetish!
>>30664430You're doing well if she's smiling and/or happy.
Rolled 85>>30664430It's the Rena."I had fun! You're such a good friend, Shadow Man!"There, fuckstick. Saved you the cost of the date.
>>30664430You don't.You just flail and struggle until you either stick the landing or fall on your ass.
>>30664430Maybe try and sweat less and you'll be great.
>>30664430you're doing as well as can be excpected.You are set for having a night of fun with a lady.Whether it's romantic, well, that's another story.
check your left pocket. does it contain any pasta? if not you are fine. if it DOES you need to bail before it spills out.
>>30664430you're doing fine except for the go-karts.Good choice, but you gonna get pwned.
>>30664462No, try and sweat more. Sweat so much you can provide water for entire villages.
>>30664430>But I think I'm doing well so far. How do I even tell if I'm doing well?Ask her if she wants to bear your children.
Nice recovery bro, you're doing good. You're looking a little bit worried, don't be. Just relax and let it happen.
>>30664430>How do I even tell if I'm doing well?You can't. Even though she is agreeing to everything, she probably doesn't think of it as a real date. She slept in the same bed as Bridgette without realizing the girl had a crush on her, so she probably thinks you are just proposing a fun day together as friends.
Rolled 77>>30664472>Implying she wouldn't latch onto his nipple like a starving puma cub if she detected marinara
>>30664430Take out your Rena Handkerchief and wipe away that sweat!
>>30664430You are being friendzoned.You can't stop it.
>>30664430You aren't. YOU'VE FAILED AND YOU DON'T EVEN KNOW IT.Have fun~
>>30664430That depends on what you're trying to get. If you're trying to arrange a fun weekend with a good friend, you're fine. If you're trying to pursue a romantic relationship, your sunk.
>>30664430You're fucking Shadow Man. Observe. Analyze. Learn. Adapt. And most importantly, relax.Think of it as a mathematical equation and detective work rolled into one.Is she smiling? Does her body language say that she likes being around you? Is her tone of voice friendly? Is she happy?If yes, you're doing great. And so far, you're doing awesome.Maybe sweat a little less, though.
>>30664444Quads confirm it.
>>30664430Your doing okay, whether or not it's a date is another story.Also the books don't tell you shit about emotions. As a shadowy figure you should know theory is different then real experience
What if Shadow Man is computer and overheating
>>30664493I am now imagining an edit of that sweating man.
>>30664430You're doing great there super trooper.Keep going. She's dense enough that she probably won't see your advances, but that also means she won't recognize your mistakes.
>>30664430Don't worry, get through dinner. You can't go anywhere doing what you're doing now, you'll just end up being her friend who pays for go-carting.At the party, talk her up HAHAHA and ask her out on a date. Use the word 'date', seriously.
>>30664430Why do you look like Manabe from Koutarou-san
>>30664430Now? NOW you give her a lead on where she can get some powers that don't involve being undead or locked into a contract with an evil being.Because that would make her survival so much easier, and you're not into having hot nights with cold women.If you were, you'd be going after Robomaid, Rider, or Jiang Shi
>>30664430Man, it's Rena.You can't tell if you're doing well. I mean, damn, she slept with Bridgette on numerous occasions and still didn't manage to even glimpse the subtext.You're probably already deep, DEEP in pic related.
Rolled 86>>30664565...motherFUCKER!
>>30664562>dinnerFUCK I meant coffee.
>>30664538Then Robomaid will develop a crush on him. In fact, that's who you SHOULD be courting, SM. RM probably sees the world as a calculation like you do whereas Rena barely sees 5 feet in front her face since her density is so strong not even light can penetrate it.
>>30664519Right. Of course. Remain calm. Form a new approach.I can do this.>He inhales deeply and analyzes Rena. Everyone about her posture seems to imply that she's having a great time.>The two of them spend another hour drinking coffee, eating sweets, and chatting.>By the end of their date they begin walking to the Hero Association."Did you have a nice time?"R: "Mhmm. I love hanging out with my friends. It makes any day great.""I'm glad."Ah.That smile.Why does it hurt so much now?
Rolled 12>>30664582>CoffeeDINNER I meant fuck.
>>30664598HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
>>30664598Spend some time googling the "friendzone"Maybe ask Bridgette about it too.
>>30664598You must destroy that smile. Sell your information to villains.
>>30664598>with my friendsSM, pls.You have to be clear.Rena is dumb as a rock.
>>30664598Friend zone. We tried to warn you.
>>30664598>That smile looks familiar.
>>30664598>Why does it hurt so much now?Because you know that you will only ever be a friend to her. Sorry, bud, but that's what happens when you court The Girl With No Libido
>>30664598It hurts because you know deep down she'll never consider you anything more than a friend.For she is Rena the Rock.
>>30664598It's not you, it's her. etc.
>>30664598We told you about the friend zone, bro.We told you.
>>30664430is she mad or looking for an excuse to bail?also , blurt out the Larro can teach her to suck eggs
>>30664598>with my friendsEMERGENCYEMERGENCYHOLD HER HANDNOW
>>30664633best girl
>>30664598Just another entrance to the ride.
>>30664598fisson mailed
>>30664633What if Bridgette and Rena are actually half-sisters?
>>30664598>Why does it hurt so much now?Because you're smart enough to recognize nothing will happen between you two.See if she can hook you up with Robomaid, I'm sure she's got a Hentai mode, right?
>>30664636>Rustling in the bushes>Cynthia rises up with an elephant gun and a pith helmet>Shoots at Rena before slithering away>Rena clutches the syringe in her neck>Looks up at Shadow Man>Cut to internal view, alarm clock ticking in her gut>Cut to love hotel, Shadow Man unconscious beside Rena, Rena clutching the blankets and looking confused
>>30664633> Rena takes off the mask> MM+'s face shows up> "IT WAS ME SHADOW MAN"> "IT WAS ME ALL ALONG"
>>30664598The friendzone, we warned you.You gave it the old college try and we did our best to help you. Think of it solving pie, though you know there is a solution but it is endless.Like her denseness
>>30664658if it was anyone other than Rena I'd say it's a problem.Rena doesn't really have a non-friendzone... yet.
>>30664696>>Cut to love hotel, Shadow Man and Bridgette unconscious beside Rena, Rena clutching the blankets and looking confusedFTFY.
>>30664708>solving pie
>>30664598Have we told you about the possibility of Rena being asexual yet? Because we're beginning to suspect that that's a thing.
>>30664598What did I say about baby steps? Take it slooooooowlyyyyyyyy.Today was a victory in that you didn't make her upset. One step closer!
>>30664598Shadow Man, this is gonna sound crazy, but.....You need to dress up in a lasagna costume. Trust me. It's the only way.
>>30664598we should probably have mentioned this earlier, but there is a good chance rena is asexual and aromantic. As in will never see anyone as more than a friend.
>>30664598FRIENDZONED, my friend. It is a good pain.
>>30664598Your love life is over. Commit yourself to justice with all your heart and soul.
>>30664719She's not a lesbian, so why would she bring Bridgette along?
>>30664750But justice doesn't have a vagina.
>>30664757She does in my magical realm.
>>30664633glad I'm not the only one that noticed
>>30664765She's still getting over being confessed to by her best friend. Slow the fuck down.
>>30664710Except with Dark Stranger.
>>30664755Because Cynthia wouldn't do anything unless it was for her little sister and I assumed she just jammed Rena full of enough aphrodisiac to get a rhino randy to the point where Rena wouldn't care who is in bed with her.
>>30664676It's either that or Larro getting a mild case of sameface.
>>30664757Justice is the greatest vagina of all.
>>30664598Well um... you can make a last ditch effort and say you don't want to be friends.Either you make your intentions known now, or never man. Even if she denies you, she'll stay your friend. At least get denied BEFORE you consider it impossible.
>>30664787understandable, considering how simple the art style is
>>30664783Arguably not even with him, though Shadow man would know more about what happened there than we do
>>30664806Don't do it man. it's too soon
>>30664598Baby steps, man. Take it slow and chill out.She agreed to meet you later on, that's a win right there. Many didn't even get the second date.
>>30664786I was thinking synthetic estrogen to kick-start her biological clock. Hence... y'know... the clock.Then she can slowly corrupt her into lesbianism by sabotaging every single relationship she ever tries to have with a man. Shadow Man's a stalker, so maybe she hooks up with Chet and happens to find kiddy porn on his hard drive or something. She seeks comfort from Velocity Raptor who then gets brought up on extortion charges or something.It is a slow plan, but effective. Then, since Bridgette has been with Rena throughout the whole thing, eventually Rena will be so broken she will have to rely on Bridgette for emotional support because that's about all she'll have left at that point.Then Bridgette will find out how badly Cynthia mindfucked Rena and kill her, but that's another story.
>The two of them make it to the Hero Association, chatting a bit along the way.>>30664625I could never...>>30664735Surely being asexual doesn't mean she's not capable of romantic feelings? Even if it's just cuddling.I may have been pushed into this 'friendzone' but I will not give up. I have never failed a mission in my life and this will be no different.I will not give up!=======================================<You are now in control of Rena>>Rena has just arrived after the Hero Association after a nice evening with Shadow Man. Robomaid greets her and says that most of the Heroes are inside. She also says that Anti-Hero declined Rena's invitation."What? Why?"RM: "She did not say but I assume it is because she is still in the Hero Hospital and recovering from her wounds."
>>30664581What did I do wrong?
>>30664861Pointed out the similarity that I should have caught.
>>30664856I believe in you, Shadow Man! Don't give up!Oh wait, we're Rena now? Forget you heard that!
>>30664856Go visit her!NOW!
>>30664676I doubt it.It's more likely Cynthia is impersonating Rena than Bridgette and Rena being related at all, and I consider that supremely improbable.
>>30664856Hey, hey Rena. You think Shadow Man is cool right? Because he's cooler than you think he is.Like, super cool. Video games cool.
>>30664856WOUNDS?
>>30664856We should visit after. Let's go say hi to Caffornicator, or Sparkle if she came.
>>30664856Well hey, that's good for two reasons! Not only does that mean she's still alive enough to decline an invitation to the No Fatalities Party, but the fact that she's alive is one of the reasons the No Fatalities Party is still going!Two cheers for Anti-Hero!
>>30664856https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qNpIcOWjG1IHere Shadowman some nice delusions as a parting gift
>>30664856>>30664856Rena, realize that Shadow Man is in love with you.He has a penis and wants to put it in you.
>>30664887But if Bridgette and Rena are related that would make their relationship even better
>>30664598THAT IS MERELY YOUR HEART CHILD!DO NOT WORRY, SNOWFLAME WILL GUIDE YOU ON THE JOURNEY OF LOVE!SNOWFLAME IS TENDER AND UNDERSTANDING! I WILL GIVE YOU SOME EASY TIPS!TIP 1: DO MORE DRUGS! YOU NEED TO BE MORE AWESOME!TIP 2: COCAAIIIIINNNE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!TIP 897654: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAIUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUURRGHRHGHARTAHAHTATATAAAHTAHTHA!
>>30664856Go look for Omen! You haven't gotten to talk to him much and he's handsome.
>>30664856We should call her later, after we've had a few drinks. Everyone loves drunk Rena!
>>30664856"She's in the hospital? What happened to her!?"
>>30664856Rena, Rena. RenaREEEEEEEEEENAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA>the friend zoneYou put Shadow man in>the friend zoneand that was awful of you. He likes you for Christ's sake. Like Bridgette liked/s you except straight. Reevaluate what just happened and know that we were in his head like we're in yours
>>30664856Rena, ruffle Shadowman's hair before heading off to see Anti-Hero
>>30664856hey renarenaIsn't shadow man romantic?
>>30664856Rena. Mingle for now. See if there're any familiar faces and mess around with them.Don't forget Shadow Man, though. You came in here with him, it would be rude to leave the guy hanging.
>>30664856Wait, she's in the HOPSITAL?We must go see her! With a strawberry-scented teddybear and a balloon of course.
>>30664856Go to the party. Bring the party of Anti-Hero
>>30664934They're just friends.
>>30664856HEY! I HEARD YOU NEED SUPERPOWERS!I CAN GET YOU SUPERPOWERS! SUPERPOWERS FROM COCAINE!
>>30664921
>>30664896Yes, person who isn't me. Shadow Man is the coolest. We should totally get to know him better.No, really, why didn't you try to get to know him better, Rena? He seemed to want to get to know -you- better. So why didn't you ask him more about what he does? Like his ambitions and dreams and such.
>>30665007But next time.And next time you'll ask him again.In the meantime. Ruffle his hair.
>>30665007>>30664896>>30664856yeah. Shadow man is an exceptionally cool guy, rena.You should consider settling down with him, starting a family, and having 15 children.
>>30664856Hey, Rena, just curious.How did you and John hook up back in college?
>>30665046how DID that happen?What did john -do-
>>30664856Rena, you should probably stop having friends, they all just seem to want to have sex with you and nothing more.
>>30664856HEYWHAT DID YOU THINK OF THAT LAST GUYHE THINKS YOUR HOTYOU SHOULD TOTALLY DO COCAINE
>>30664856Hey Rena! This is your alert that you set to let you know when you broke someone's heart!I think you are up to at least 15 by now.
>>30665076robomaid and MM+ don't!
>>30665046>>30665070...ironically, I think she lost those memories the last time she saw the Monster due to a really bad crit.
>>30665101Robomaid did at one point and MM+ is just crazy.
>>30665114>MM+ not wanting to dom Rena like the fist of an angry godHave you been reading the same quest as me?
>>30664856french kiss the shadow man
You guys are animals. Animals, I say!
>>30665108...Do you think Rena was knocked asexual by Monster-induced brain damage?
>>30665175no-oooo, I'm pretty sure she was always like this.
so is Rena a hot tard?
>>30665166Rena! Listen to me! You were a hero once!A HERO!
>>30665175http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0BsLd4Y060Q
>>30665007I got to know him better... His favorite color is black, he really likes to eat chicken, he enjoys puzzle games.I asked him a bunch of stuff. He's a pretty cool guy and I really can't wait to play some card games with him.>>30664928Huh..? I put him in the friendzone? But... He's my friend.>>30665046He asked me out.>>30665091What... What did I do this time!? I was having coffee!!!>>30664885Oh man. I should really go see her. I think the hospital is in the building anyway so..."Shadow Man, I'll be back!"SM: "Where are you going?""To see Anti-Hero!">Rena runs to the hospital. She has to consult a few maps but she eventually finds the place. The room is filled with Heroes. She recognizes a few from posters but she doesn't know any of them personally.>Except for the one at the last bed.>Anti-Hero is staring off at a wall. She doesn't look very happy.".... Hey there.">She just stares ahead.
>>30665175I think she was just born not producing estrogen. How else do you explain the development rivaling a twelve-year-old's?
>>30665175no, her last relationship ended when she just sorta wandered away, and that was before the whole hero thing started. I think rena likes the idea of love, but doesn't really feel attracted to anyone.
>>30664928>being friends with people is awful>you should get in a relationshipthat's a bit bigoted don'tcha think?to be honest though, give the guy a chance at least. When was the last time you've ever been attracted to anyone?
>>30665210Throw a rock at her.
>>30665210Eh, she looks fine. Better head back.
>>30665210Yeesh
>>30665210Eye wonder what happened to her!
>>30665210It was a date you idiot. Jeeze, I remember a time when Rena loved the idea of romance.
>>30665210Hey, AH? It's us. Your friend? Sorry we couldn't come by earlier, or that we haven't brought you anything this time.We'll do that the next time we visit you.Give her a hug. She looks like she really needs one.
>>30665210"I uh..heard you quit."
>>30665210HUG HER!Ask what's wrong!When she doesn't answer, find the doc-bot and ask what's wrong with Anti-Hero!
>>30665210"So what are you going to keep in your eye now that your demon's gone. Ooh, could you put in some kind of death ray laser eye? Pew pew!"
>>30665210Why is she chained to the bed?
>>30665210>What... What did I do this time!? I was having coffee!!!He was clearly into you.But... Are you into him?
>>30665255OK.Hug Anti-Hero.Then stick us in her head. Time to find out what's going on in there.
>>30665210Ask her if she wants to go out for coffee sometime
>>30665210just a reminder, you're going to die a virgin
>>30665255>Voices In Your Head in charge of tact
>>30665245u wot m8?
>>30665210"Y-you okay?"Also, shadow man:Show up at this emotional moment. It will gain you romance points.
>>30665210GOD DAMN IT RENA HE DOESN'T WANT TO BE YOUR FRIEND HE WANTS TO BE YOUR BOYFRIENDHe asked you out not as a friend but as a man how sought to challenge THE ROCK. THE most immovable of rocks, that knows not what happens to it, for lo! That rock is YOU RENA, You.He wanted to see if the two of you could fall in romantic love and be together without pants on and not be judged.
>>30665210Now might not be the best time to approach her, especially given those handcuffs she's sporting.
>>30665269Can this pass us on like that? I don't remember it ever happening that way before.
>>30665210"So... how's that demon in your eye? Treating you well?"
>>30665210DO NOT WORRY. I KNOW HOW TO DEAL WITH PEOPLE.STEP 1: USE YOUR PERSONALITY AND SMILE TO CHEER HER UPSTEP 2: DO COCAINESTEP 3: GIVE HER COCAINESTEP 4: YOU ARE BOTH HAPPY! BECAUSE OF COCAINE!STEP 5: THERE IS NO STEP 5! ONLY MORE COCAINE!
>>30665210> He asked me out.So, if Shadow Man, or Omen, or John again, asked you out on a real date, you might consider it?
>>30665303She's restrained. Now is the BEST time to approach her. Besides, it's probably something like suicide watch, the pussy.
>>30665305I have absolutely no idea.Now would be a good time to find out, no?
>>30665361Good point.Rena, just place your forehead on her's and concentrate really hard on moving us to her
>>30665281From chapter 13>Awww~~~>Love is so awesome.>I'm kinda jealous.Then she immediately grabbed shadowman for the coffee date. From the next update:>Anyway, no time for Bridgette, I have a coffee date with Shadow Man!It seems like even Larro forgot.
>>30665302>>30665245Oh. I messed up again, huh?I... I do like the idea of love. It just seems like people who are in love are really happy. But sometimes I think I feel just as happy when I hang out with my friends. I care about them. I get sad when they're sad. I try and do my best to make sure they're okay. I think I can say that I do love my friends, if that's what love is. But as cute as I think Sparkle and Monster Marauder are I... Just don't understand it.I guess it's like pasta and ice cream. I'm really enjoy eating pasta and sparkle really likes ice cream. I can appreciate it but I'm happy with what I have.That's a horrible way to put it.I don't know.Maybe there is something wrong with me."You okay..? I'm sorry I didn't come sooner. I didn't know you were here. Uhm... I heard you quit."AH: "...""... You know if you wanna talk about anything I'm here for you."AH: "......""Or not. That's fine. Did uhm... The demon finally get taken out? Is that why you're here?"AH: "... I'm here because I killed Ignis and everyone thinks if they let me go I'll try and kill them too."...Oh.
>>30665438"but you're not."
>>30665420Thanks for the reminder, man.
>>30665438Ask why she killed Ignis.
Do you want to kill them?
>>30665438I don't think you would.
>>30665464and now i feel all squishy inside~
>>30665438You wouldn't do that, right?
>>30665438that's...that's not good
rena, put your S class to use! escort her around and no one can get mad because she has someone strong keeping them safe from her.
>>30665438>AH: "... I'm here because I killed Ignis and everyone thinks if they let me go I'll try and kill them too."But you don't have your eye demon thingie anymore, how are you supposed to hurt anyone?
>>30665438That's called being asexual, and it's fine.It's just kind of boring for the voices who live in your head, is all. They get all kinds of mad about it.
>>30665438It's okay, Rena. Love isn't for everyone. No matter what the other voices say, I don't hold it against you.
>>30665438"I don't. I know you'd never hurt a friend. What happened was an accident and completely out of your control."
>>30665438Wait wait wait. She didn't kill Ignis, the demon killed Ignis. You know, the demon that isn't there anymore.
>>30665438But she didn't. The demon did after MM summoned it out of her. If anything, it's MM's fault for unleashing a dangerous monster.*MEANWHILE, AT BRIDGETTE'S APARTMENT~*Bridgette receives a letter."Congratulations! For your brutal murder of the hero Ignis via the hero Anti-Hero, you have been upgraded to S-class rank 38!""RENAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!"
>>30665498Not the right thing to say now!
>>30665438...Well, will she?I mean, if you say you're not going to kill people then you aren't, right? So as long as she says she's totally not going to kill people, you can probably put in a good word.>>30665494This is smart! The best part is that if they decide to panic and tell you that you're obviously NOT strong enough to keep them safe from scary Anti-Hero-Demons, then you should totally get demoted! It's a win-win!
>>30665438Throw a rock at her handcuffs
>>30665438guys, refresher. Just how DID Ignis die?And Rena, I think you need a girl night to sort your head out. I think Sparkle won't mind too much trying to help you, along with Robomaid.
>>30665438But that wasn't her, it was the demon acting on its own, and Monster Maestro killed the demon.
>>30665438One, there's nothing wrong with you and two, break Anti-Hero out
>>30665519It's alright, Rena is a gigantic retard!Flat retard.
>>30665438It's okay, Rena. No one holds it against you. You're good just the way you are, and as long as you're happy, we're happy for you.As for AH, you know deep down that she's not the one who killed Ignis. She's not such a person - she's your friend, and she needs a god damn hug. Tell her that you're there for her if she needs you, and that you're willing to listen if she wants to talk about it.
>>30665438"do you want to talk about what happened?"
>>30665530He got his shit pushed in by a demon.
>>30665438"Oh.How about we get out of here and you tell me what happened over ice cream?"When she says they won't let her go, tell her you're S-class so they'll totally do it if you ask
"But you wouldn't do that, right? I know you. You wouldn't really hurt a Hero."AH: "But I did. That's why I'm here right now... I'm healed. Just... Captive.""No. I think it was that demon inside of you. It's gone, right? Do you feel like killing people?"AH: "... No.">Rena gives Anti-Hero a big hug."Then it wasn't you. It was that demon. And if everyone else is to stupid to see that then they don't know you. Now come on. I'm a S-Class and I'm getting you out of here. If anyone wants to complain they'll have to go through me!"AH: "...... Heh.""..? What? I'm serious. We're going to this party together."AH: "I know you're serious. That's what's funny. Everyone else has been treating me like I'm a Villain but you still look at me exactly the same. It's kinda funny. A nice change of pace, too. But I think I'll stay here.""Huh? But there's a party. Cake and everything. Come on, cake makes everything better."AH: "I have a lot of thinking I need to do... I appreciate the invites but I think I should be alone for now."
>>30665530Chapter 20, bridgette went out for a night on the town. Ignis showed up and she summoned him to make him do evil. Anti-hero showed up and they fought, then AH lost control of the demon in her eye and it killed poor ignis :(
>>30665582>you know deep down that she's not the one who killed Ignis.No Rena doesn't. In fact, killing people is exactly what AH is known for. She even threatened to kill Rena once when Rena wouldn't let her kill the villain she was fighting.
>>30665646No Anti-hero, you've been alone too long.
>>30665646"alright, but don't hesitate to give me a call if you want someone to talk to."
>>30665649> AH lost control of the demon in her eyemore specifically, Bridgette summoned it out of her eye, if I remember correctly
>>30665646If you ever want out give me a call. I'd be happy to let you stay at my place if you need somewhere to stay or hide out as well
>>30665646...Yeah, fuck the party.Let's hang with our greatest lady-bro and keep her company. Being alone would only hurt. Or we could bring her cake!
>>30665673She did that after.
>>30665650but she didn't.Rena talked her down.I think it's time for us to try and do some wandering. Alone is exactly what Anti Hero doesn't need.
>>30665673that was after AH killed ignis.
>>30665646Well that means we're bringing cake to her and then hanging out with AH for the rest of the evening!
>>30665646Ok, fine, but you're for sure saving her a piece of cake and making sure she eats it in bed because FUCK THE POLICE and also cake in bed is like the #1 eye-and-emotional-conflict-healing hybrid balm of all time.
>>30665646offer to bring back some cake
>>30665646Alone, eh?Well... here's my number. Again. Call me if you need anything. Anything at all.Then give her another big hug/headpat.
>>30665673she did that to protect herself after AH lost control of it and killed ignis
>>30665646"Nope. We're going to get cake now. Stop me yourself if you want."Let's see if we can't get her into a wheelchair.
>>30665646"No. If you think you should be alone then you probably should be with friends.How about we talk to Rider? Ignus probably got sucked into her, and if he did you can tell him you're sorry. You'd feel better after that."
>>30665646You sure? Give her your phone number and email and tell her to call you whenever she needs you.Go back to the party, and grab some cake and something to drink with her. She needs some company, Rena, and you're the best company.
>>30665646Bring some cake back for her, at least.
>>30665646>Retrieve cake>Return>Feed her cake>Fuck the haters
>>30665707CAKE FIXES EVERYTHING
>>30665684>greatest lady-broThat aint Queenie.
>>30665646I think Bridgette is getting competition in the "no she's not a lesbian but I still want her" camp..
>>30665646"Okay. I'll save some cake for you. And some lasagna, if they have it. Is there anything else you like?"
>>30665646>Send Robo-maid to get the cake.
>>30665781>Is there anything else you like?"Having two eyes, probably.
"Then I'm going to bring the cake to you. And punch. Do you like punch? We'll have our own party here."AH: "Rena I... Fine... Go ahead. .... I like chocolate."========================================<You are now Caffornicator>>This is your first day back from the hospital after receiving terrible bite wounds. You find yourself manning the coffee table as usual. >And as usual no one is getting any.>The party is going well. A bit slow for your liking. Pretty much every Hero is here along with their friends.>Except for that redhead. The coffee hero saw her earlier but she's gone now.Ugh.Bored.If I don't screw or punch something in the next minute I'm gonna... Punch something.I wish Hourglass were here. Or Aeon. Either one of them.And Rank 1 isn't here, again.
>>30665849Consume coffee
>>30665849...Rank 1?
>>30665849Get busy with the Manstache
>>30665849screw the table
>>30665849BE BORED NO LONGER, MORTAL.THE AUDIENCE IS HERE.
>>30665849Have sex with the coffee machine, publicly.
>>30665849rena:consistently miss parties because of toughing friendshipCaffornicator:Check bite wound scars
>>30665875I am still like 95% certain that Chet is secretly a woman....not that that would stop Caffornicator. Infact that might just make it better.
>>30665849> after receiving terrible bite woundsWhat happened?Call MM+. See if she'd like to hang out somewhere.
>>30665849>bite woundsDON'T DRINK BLOOD
Rolled 6>>30665849Spike the coffee.REPLACE THE WATER WITH VODKA.VOFFKA
>>30665849you should conspire with Shadow Man about getting in Rena's pantsmaybe all three of you!
>>30665849so is the need for stimulation a side effect of your powers? or are you just the kind of person who can't stand boredom?
>>30665849Go talk to Anti-Hero. She's a broken shell, so she won't bother to say no. And if you punch her she'll feel like she deserves it.
>>30665896BRILLIANT.
>>30665849Take the coffee machine's virginity. Then he can brag to that virgin Warbot in Accounting.
>>30665849See the Redhead abscond with cake and follow her so you can get all dirtylike with her.
>>30665910anon caffornicator is a hero not a villainous rapist
>>30665897cooperate with shadow man.
>>30665849There's gotta be somebody here to fuck! search high and low!
>>30665849I'm going to say spike everybody's drink. Hell, it's not like we've got anything better to do, and it might be entertaining.Sooo....how was the biting? Pretty hot, or traumatizing?
>>30665849Give Shadow Man some pity/sympathy sex.
>>30665849See if that coffee machine can be screwed.
>>30665849If no one wants any coffee, then go out and mingle with the rest of the heroes. You might be able to find someone to screw that way. Or punch.
>>30665849So considering caffeine is a diuretic and you're more or less made of coffee, do you wear a diaper because you have no control over your bladder? I need to know for reasons.
>>30665849Seduce coffee machine.Get coffee machine-pregnant.Give birth to cybernetic coffeemandos.
>>30665849>Rena I...Is AH in love with Rena
>>30665849CAFFORNICATORTHE VOICES IN YOUR HEAD TELLING YOU TO DO THINGS HAVE GIVEN YOU A MISSION:Be the first one to get Rena the Rock to do a sexual act of some sort.
>>30665958Everyone wants her boybutt. She is just so intoxicatingly unerotic.
>>30665849Quick, tell us about S-class rank 1!
>>30665963>Be the first one to get Rena the Rock to do a sexual act of some sort.It has to be a CONSCIOUSLY sexual act. She has already worn a full bondage getup before as well as meido fetish garb.
>>30665849reminisce on what MM+ did to you after you attempted to seduce her.
>>30666009this
>>30665849TIME TO FUCK EVIL
>>30665903A little of both, hehe.>>30665963ManI don't think even I could.That girlI don't think she even knows what sex is. She seems like the kinda lass who doesn't even twiddle herself.>>30665997Uhm...He's pretty cool. Modest dude. I like him. Plays hard to get. Hehe.>>30665873Done~>>30665875Haha, nah. He's no fun.>>30665881Nah.>>30665896Are you implying I haven't? Though I think everyone saw me doing it. Heh.>>30665936Sure. Where is the guy?>Caffornicator seeks out Shadow Man. It's a bit hard to find the spy but she succeeds. No one can hide from her."Heyyyy~"SM: "Huh? Oh. Hey, Caffornicator.""Heard from the ether that you went out with Rena~"SM: "What? How did you... Yes. We did.""Didn't go well, huh?"SM: "It went well enough.""Your face says differently, hehe. So, wanna get busy?">Shadow Man spits out his drink.SM: "Uhm... I have to go. Away.">He flees.Dammit.>>30666009Uh... It involved a lot of biting. Which is kinda hot, I guess? But she had fangs. That was less hot. Those suckers were like an inch big. She really did a number on me, hehe. I didn't feel like killing her or anything though. she might be fun later. Man, maybe I should just ditch this party and chill with her.Or find that redhead. She's fun to watch at least.Maybe even Rider.
>>30666086>She seems like the kinda lass who doesn't even twiddle herself.Why don't you find her and ask?
>>30666086go chill with your monstergirl, girl.She's mad kinky.She likes clothes shopping.
>>30666086>Man, maybe I should just ditch this party and chill with her.Yes. See if you can turn her to good through the power of l̶o̶v̶e sex.
>>30666086He fled.You must pursue.Wouldn't be the first time you've ran a man down, ripped off his clothes and had your way witih him, right?
Rolled 92>>30666086Go bother sparkles.You've yet to see the kid after all.
>>30666086She probably knows how to twiddle her thumbs, just not twiddle WITH her thumbs.
>>30666086At least give MM+ a call. Maybe she'll be down for something.
>>30666086Rena is coming to retrieve cake, wait for her and ambush her
>>30666086Be the Rider Rider and Ride Rider, if you know what I meant.Failing that, mess with Rena.Failing that, get MM+'s number from Rena and call her up for a round 2. Offer to be the one who bites this time.
>>30666086What's Rider like? Are you two friends?And yeah, call MM+. See if you two can get to know each other better.This party is pretty much dead.
>>30665849>>This is your first day back from the hospital after receiving terrible bite wounds.WORTH IT!
>>30666086DITCH THIS PARTYFIND SOME VILLAINSAND FUCK THEM RAW
>>30666086wait, bothering MM+ is an option?Why would you not?
>>30666086chase after. Yell" If I catch you, I'm gonna fuck you!"then catch himthen fuck him
>>30666086Yeah chase down MM+See if you can get her to agree to no bitingOr at least no fangs
>>30666165>>30666130>Friendly game of Hump n' ReleaseGood times.
>>30666086MM+ is only going to play with you if you agree to take part in her complicated schemes. Are you sure you can deal with such MACHINATIONS?
>>30666086>>He flees.Chase him screaming I CAN RUN FASTER HORNY THAN YOU ARE TRYING TO PROTECT YOUR PENIS
>>30666167Scan roomlocate nearest souce of potential entertainmentbug them mercilessly.
>>30666153>This Summer>Evil is Fucked>Caffornicator Begins
>>30666187Uh, of course she can. She's caffornicator. she thinks faster than the speed of light.
>>30666086Oh god.... what have we done.Teach her how to twiddle.
>>30666086You seem like a hot little number, how come no one wants to screw you?
>>30666086Rider!We've been meaning to ask if Ignus is in there, and how he's doing.
>>30666086Gotta go with MM+ here. That woman is an addiction that we just can't kick.
has anyone tried of let rena be a nun?she would be the second mother teresa.
>>30666086Go visit Sparkle and her boyfriend. They have a young son you can corrupt and /ss/ later. It will also be funny to see Sparkle keeping you from doing the above and doing the later.
>>30666233Oooh, we could let Ignis talk to Anti-Hero!
>>30666116>>30666229You are the worst and I hate you.
>>30666277No, she asked to take some time off and people should respect their wishes. They're on a goddamn honeymoon for christ sakeYou asshole
>>30666252>rena>torturing the poorpick one
>>30666230Haha, no idea.I get some. But I guess some are put off? Whatevs.>>30666130Haha, nah. That ain't how I roll. He'll come around eventually. I can wait.>>30666139Exactly.>>30666148We're close. Super close. Like two girls who've fucked each other senseless close. Haha. But that was before she was this crazy. Now the girl can't seem to agree on what she wants. But it's cool. I still got me some Omen every once in a while.Well... Let's go see Monster Master.I'm gonna get me some lamia.Man.She's complicated though. I don't even know how to approach her.
>>30666311Clothes. Take her shopping for clothes. She likes shopping.
>>30666311>I don't even know how to approach her.Naked is a good start.
>>30666311Approach her with a heat lamp.Lamias fucking love heat lamps.
>>30666311Give her a dead rat as an offering
>>30666311I'd imagine with a heat lamp
>>30666311Why is S-class so slutty?
>>30666311Go in full throttle.You were way too conservative last time.
>>30666335Totes agreed.
>>30666311"Want to go clothes shopping and end the evening in a love hotel?"
>>30666311Go hard core. I guess
>>30666348Slut-class.>>30666311Bring her coffee.
>>30666311ask her something about being a great aunt.
>>30666311>We're close. Super close. Like two girls who've fucked each other senseless closeThis makes me feel bad. I like Rider.
>>30666311Now, listen to me very carefully, because this might sound insane.Cynthia isn't used to being hit on. She's the one who teases, not the teased one.So take it slow, invite her out for some coffee, apologize for being too hasty, and tease her for a bit so you can see her blush and act shy all of a sudden.She likes shopping, and messing around with other people. So maybe you can go to a coffee shop in a mall. And you can use the opportunity to mess with her for a bit.The thing is, not to go overboard or she'll go mental on you.
>>30666311>I don't even know how to approach her.Come naked, bring snacks.
>>30666335This.And if you want to expand it, just follow with >>30666330 and say "it looks like I don't have any clothes. Want to go shop for some~?"
>>30666348Because not everyone shares your delicate sensibilities
>>30666311Approach her like this "I don't care who or what you are, I just want meaningless kinky sex. Can you do tentacles?~"
>>30666311She's part vampire, you know. You might want to get yourself checked.
>>30666377Well, start by being less judgemental, then.>>30666386>The thing is, not to go overboard or she'll go mental on you.>implying that's not what Caffornicator likes
>>30666405we already covered that she didn't like the biting
>>30666311REMEMBER: Let her do the seducing, she gets weird if you try to get pushy.
>>30666405Caffornicator strikes me as being a lady of many fetishes.
>>30666387>bring snacksCaffo IS the snack
>>30666393It's less sensibilities and more basic dignity. S-Class feels as loose as the half-drunk intern or the desperate aging woman in your office. You know the one.
>>30666418She was OK with the biting. The fangs were the bit she had a problem with.If she had a REAL issue with it, she wouldn't be going back for seconds.
>>30666387>>30666311treat her to some shopping AND some food.It's like a preying mantis. If she's well fed, she won't try to bite you.
>>30666438Probably because they know how close they are to dying any moment when a villain drops in and begins wrecking shit.
>>30666438S-Class is also a class in which death is a daily possibility.Forgive them for maybe needing to blow off some steam now and again.
>>30666438They gotta live fast and die young bro>>30666311get some like, male snake pheromones or something
>>30666458>>30666464Every now and again seems to be more like a constant vice. It also seems like most of them have several vices to go along with that. What I'm getting at is that these are the actions of mentally and emotionally stunted individuals, relying on sensation to achieve emotional numbness or an artificial feeling of satisfaction and wellness.
>>30666438Haha. Wow.Maybe we get tired of almost dying every time we go out to fight and like to blow off steam? Some of us, at least. Good luck trying to get guys like Bob or Rank 1 to do anything.Sticks in the mud.Alright. Slow and steady.And with a heatlamp.Man, I got this. Hehe.Woah.>Caffornicator barely dodges an attack out of nowhere.>She sees a weird cat creature in a messed up cloak behind her.???: "As I expected from an S-Class. I'm sorry but I'm really going to need your power. I'm running out of time and the lower ranks aren't enough anymore.""Huh? Dude... That wasn't cool."I guess I'll kick his ass real quick.>Attack 1d20>Other 1d20
>>30666464Most people who get to S-Class are so stupidly powerful that they can blow through most threats. It's just the rare end-of-the-world scenarios that they get caught up in.
>>30666311>I don't even know how to approach her.I KNOWDRESS UP AND ACT LIKE RENAIT WILL GET YOU MORE SEX THAN YOU CAN HOLD
Rolled 13, 20 = 33>>30666505ATTACK FOREVER.
Rolled 13>>30666505Run to your snakey lover's arms for comfort
Rolled 19>>30666505>REVEAL THAT HOOD
>>30666505use the FULL EXTENT OF YOUR POWER to obliterate the entire region.Do not get hit. highest priority never get hit. Do not count on phasing through him, it won't work.
Rolled 18>>30666505KICK HIS SHIT IN
>>30666505>>She sees a weird cat creatureHasn't there been a bulletin not to mess with wierd cat creatures offering deals?Flee!
Rolled 57>>30666505ALERT THE ENTIRE HERO ASSOCIATION IF YOU CAN DODGE A WRENCH YOU CAN DODGE A CAT
Rolled 8>>30666505attack but don't die
Rolled 2>>30666505>>Other 1d20Retreat, lure him to follow, call for reinforcements to surround it - MGS, Madam Hourglass, any S-Class available.This guy is serious trouble, trust me.
Rolled 9>>30666505RUNCALL HERO BACKUPTHAT CAT DUDE AINT NO JOKE
>>30666505no no no no no noYou run the fuck away at hyper speed and call in as much back up as you can, this is the most dangerous mother fucker we've seenLike, nearly ganked THE MONSTER levels of scaryAlso, this is Sparkle's fish to fry, don't take that away from her
Rolled 15>>30666505>>Other 1d20EVADE SOUND THE ALERT.SUMMON ALL S-CLASS
>>30666494eh, Caffornicator looks more like she's just a hedonist rather than emotionally stunted. I would also like to point out that if she was a dude I doubt anyone would care nearly as much about her considering sex a good way to pass the time.
Rolled 20>>30666552i'm an idiot who cannot into numbers
>>30666505>Maybe we get tired of almost dying every time we go out to fight and like to blow off steam? Some of us, at least.See >>30666494
Rolled 4>>30666505goddamnit I actually wanted caffornicator/mm+ sexytimesattack I guess
Rolled 12>>30666505Run and tell someone. This thing is superhumanly fast and extremely dangerous. Don't risk letting it have your power. If you must fight, use a weapon with a long reach.
>>30666505Caffornicator will be fine.An experienced pussy like hers will always beat some newcoming kitten.
>>30666582And yet you can.
>>30666582You did good, idiot who can't into numbers.Caffornicator, wreck that motherfucker, and call for backup.That's the guy who's been after Sparkle, Rena and several other heroes and villains.
>>30666582No anon, you are an idiot who CAN into numbers
>>30666520>>30666536>>30666543>>30666573>>30666582wow, these are super good
>>30666512Tell that to Lord of Pain.Oh wait, you can't. Barrington killed him.
Rolled 15>>30666505want some fug?
>>30666505>>30666552>>30666582>dat curse of action>dat dice roll>mfwseconded
Rolled 17>>30666505>>Other 1d20Seduce
Oh man I hope Caffornicator doesn't end up dying in MM+'s arms or something
>>30666633That's so moe.
Rolled 5>>30666505Roll to seduce!
>>30666616It was suicide. I mean - provoking a bear with superpowers can hardly be considered anything else.
Rolled 11>>30666647bear? what bear?
Rolled 9>>30666505>Lose
>>30666505be very, very careful. that thing steals powers from anyone it hits, and god help us all if he gets your speed power.
>>30666700With any luck, it'll inherit her libido as well.
Rolled 7>>30666739Hopefully it only gets the libido
Haha, too easy.>Caffornicator proceeds to punch the fuck out of the cat while also dialing the Hero Association.>She calls for some backup even as chunks of the creature are torn off by the force of her punch.>After a while it lays in a crumpled heap on the ground, parts of it have been spread across the street.>It doesn't look like it's moving anymore.>Then, it rises. Blades emerge from it's body.???: "I... Miscalculated... Again... I will not fall here.">It attacks with it's many blade.>Dodge and counterattack 1d20>Flee 1d20
>>30666751>>30666739But then we'll have to deal with barbed quantum cat dick.
Rolled 19>>30666767>Flee 1d20
Rolled 17>>30666767>Flee 1d20
Rolled 2>>30666767>Dodge and counterattack 1d202FAST
Rolled 1>>30666767>>Flee 1d20it's going to keep dividing until it CAN hit you.
Rolled 1>>30666767Dodge and counterattack. What kind of S-class hero flees?
Rolled 5>>30666767>>Dodge and counterattack 1d20
>>30666767>Flee 1d20
Rolled 12>>30666767Fight!
Rolled 16>>30666767dodge and dodge some more, but don't disengage, dont' let him escape
Rolled 5>>30666767> Dodge and counterattack 1d20It ends here.
Rolled 14>>30666767>>Flee 1d20It's not even his final form.
Rolled 14>>30666767Flee
Rolled 19>>30666767dodge+counter
>>30666787>>30666790Poor Caffornicator.
>>30666787>>30666790RIP Caffornicator
Rolled 18>>30666787>>30666790Cocks.
I sure hope it's first three
>>30666787>>30666790The world is doomed. DOOMED I SAY!
Rolled 3>>30666787>>30666790GOD DAMN IT GUYS
>>30666787>>30666787Oh wow.Did we establish whether QB sounds male or female?
Rolled 7>>30666767>FleeFuck that, back up is on its way.
>>30666785>>30666787>>30666790>this kills the Coffinator formely knowns as Caffornicator
Rolled 10>>30666767>Dodge and counterattack 1d20Kick it some more.
Rolled 9>>30666767DODGE WRENCHDODGE CATDODGE DODGING
>>30666826>>30666827>>30666828>>30666833>>30666834but those weren't first rolls
Rolled 4>>30666787>>30666790Oh godoh nonot caffornicatorlarro plznot her
Rolled 2>>30666767Vibrate into intangibility. Cheaty-dodge.
Rolled 2>>30666787>>30666790And THIS is why S-ranks induldge themselves like there's no tomorrow. Because there might very well not be.
Rolled 6>>30666767Run the fuck away.
Rolled 4>>30666851I don't think that's how Larro-Dice work
>Writing.
Rolled 14>>30666767ENTRUST YOURSELF TO THE HEART OF THE CARDS!Attack.
Rolled 18>>30666910Rest in peace, brave coffee whore.
>>30666910I can't wait to find out if coffee falls out when she gets ripped open
oh come now guys, she's probably fine.
>>30666910plz not my waifu
Rolled 5>>30666958Cat spilled her beans all over the street like Juan Valdez's donkey fell over.
>>30666966ur waifu is a slut
Rolled 19>>30666833Be cool, Attarou. Even if there is no Saitama or Caffornicator, there is still Rena. Won't you believe in her?
>>30666992You shut your whore mouth, she has her reasons.
>>30667017reasons is sex
Rolled 1>>30667017Her reasons start with coffee and end with whore.
Rolled 3>>30666992I see no problem with that. I mean, it's not my cup of tea, but different strokes for different folks
>>30666992>his waifu is not a slut>laughing sluts.jpg
>>30667001I believe!
>>30667034why do you think her name is Cuf-whore-nicator?
>>30667060Then you are a fool!
>>30667082Caffornicator. Combination of "Caffeine" and "Fornicator."Your joke is not funny. Go to the sad box.
>>30667099
>Caffornicator dodges the attack and comes in for another punch.>But then the creature vanishes.>She hears the sound of a blade cutting through air from behind.How did he..?>The blades come down on her but hit nothing but solid metal.???: "Prince shield!">The cat creature's blades shatter on impact leaving him with only two. Rider and Prince are behind him, dozens of machines hovering around the two of them.Pr: "Caffy, didn't you get the memo? Us non-powered Heroes are the only ones who can take him on. And Rider. It's a good thing you called us. Without my shield the ground would be covered with your delicious blood."Ri: "..."QK: "More... I don't need you. Just her..!">His blades dance around the shield, going in for one last desperate attack.>Hit him back 1d20.>Stay behind the shield 1d20>Other 1d20
Rolled 4>>30667152>Stay behind the shield 1d20
Rolled 3>>30667123>>30667099Don't listen to him. Rena is strong! Even without powers, Rena won't lose. And if she does, Sparkle will come and save her like always.
Rolled 3>>30667152>Other 1d20Put as much distance between you and him as possible while maintaining the shield between you.
Rolled 6>>30667152Stay behind the shield.Flip him off.
Rolled 20>>30667152> Hit him back 1d20.Finish the asshole off.
Rolled 2>>30667152>Stay behind the shield 1d20We don't want to be hit, seriously. These guys can beat him up good.
Rolled 7>>30667152FLEEFLEE FOR THE SAKE OF MM+
Rolled 13>>30667152gtfooutrun those nasty blade thingsthank you based larro
>>30667182Welp.
Rolled 10>>30667152Stay behind the shield and get the fuck out of dodge. We just want some loving, we did not sign on for the pincushion special.
Rolled 15>>30667152>>Stay behind the shield 1d20
>>30667182holy shit yes
Rolled 12>>30667152Feint. Shove the sheld his way like you're charging him, but run away instead.
Rolled 5>>30667182based 20 redeeming these crappy rolls
>>30667182EVIL IS FUCKED
Rolled 17>>30667152Page 9, autosage soon.
Rolled 19>>30667182THE WHORE THAT CLEAVES EVIL
>>30667247I like that hero tag.
I hope the thread ends on caffornicator hitting on MM+.And possibly going missing again because of it.
I have a good idea, hehe.>She grabs the shield and charges at the cat with breakneck speeds.>She slams into him at the speed of sound with Prince's shield and knocks him into the ground. Once he's pinned down she lifts the shield and slams it on to him. Again and again she repeats this attack, speeding up as she goes. The shield becomes red hot, then white hot. Parts of it begin to melt off from the sheer speed of her attacks.>Once she's satisfied she lets go of the shield and lets it fall to her side.Hehe.Got him.Pr: "Hmm... My scanner doesn't detect him anymore. Let me get that scrap. That and the blood Rena brought us will be invaluable to finding out what he was."Ri: "Pest.""Take it."HaThat was kinda fun.Don't see why everyone was so worried about the guy.
>>30667290DONT TURN AROUND.
>>30667290>Don't see why everyone was so worried about the guy.FUCK! FAMOUS LAST WORDS! RUN THE FUCK AWAY
>>30667290proceed with your previously planned sexual harrassment.I mean date.I mean friendly hookup.I mean hanging out.
>>30667290Because this is at least the third time he's been "killed".
>>30667290>Don't see why everyone was so worried about the guy.BEHIND YOU.
>>30667290>>Don't see why everyone was so worried about the guy.DON'T YOU KNOW YOU'RE NEVER SUPPOSED TO SAY THINGS LIKE THAT?It's ill omens or some shit, lady. C'mon.
>>30667290oh godrun forward at top speed for about 50 feetcan't hurt to be sure
Rolled 1>>30667290Everyone was so worried about the guy because he could steal powers. I have a feeling that it's not dead yet. Be afraid, be very afraid. In fact, FLEE LIKE A MOTHERFUCKER
>>30667290> Don't see why everyone was so worried about the guy.Remember those God Level Mysterious Beings that leveled the world 75 years ago?He's one of them. And he has the power to steal other people's power.
>>30667290Well done, girl, now go get yourself some scaly sexy times as a reward. You deserve it.
>>30667290Stay alert. He can teleport.
>>30667290>Don't see why everyone was so worried about the guy.WHY WOULD YOU EVER SAY THAT!
>>30667290IT stole power from Monster Maestro! IT CAN SHAPESHIFT!
>>30667290think about retiring in 2 days. sail on your boat the SS LIVE FOREVER
>>30667324I'm so sorry everyone. brb sudoku
Rolled 15>>30667324You fucked us.Caffornicator, you stupid fucking cunt. How are you going to protect yourself now? Fucking hell, do you even think!?
>>30667290> hitting something so hard metal melts from frictionJesus Christ, Caffornicator is a killing machine.
>>30667357two words.Friction. Burns
>>30667357More like a killed machine
>>30667379DON'T YOU EVEN FUCKING JOKE ABOUT MY WAIFU LIKE THAT
>>30667377And that's the story how Ignis became fire incarnate.
>>30667377wow. I guess sleeping Cath might give you a burning sensation twice over.
>>30667329Hey, man. Prince says he ain't here so the dude ain't here.>>30667325... Oh. Damn. Okay. I... My bad. Should've been more careful, I guess...But, hey. Still totally kicked ass.>>30667324Haha, nah. I'm gonna take my time. Savor the moment.======================================>Caffornicator busts down the door to Monster Master's Lair."Heyyy~ So, do you, like, have a cloaca or is it all normal down there?"MM+: ".......""Guess there's only one way to find out, huh?"Haha.Call me Ms. Smooth.I think I can handle it from here.
>>30667423>do you, like, have a cloaca or is it all normal down there?"...I thought she knew already.
He has kind of been getting his ass kicked by the higher rank heroes. Maybe he's just not enough of a threat to warrant S-Class intervention
>>306674232smooth.Surely, Caffornicator gets all the ladies. And guys. And basically everything else in between....Surely.
Rolled 6>>30667423I can see the eye twitch from hereDis gon be gud
>>30667423insufficient eye-twitch from MM+
>>30667423just be sure to take responsibility when she shows up at your front door with an egg with images of coffee on it
>>30667423You forgot the heat lamp.
>>30667423I fucking love you Caffornicator.
>>30667423> Tonight, /u/
>>30667423>"Heyyy~ So, do you, like, have a cloaca or is it all normal down there?"BACKPEDALAct like Rena to succeed! Act like Rena!
>>30667423she can have anything you could ever want down there
>>30667423QUICKUSE THE HEAT LAMPTHE PICK UP LINE ONLY WORKS WITH THE HEAT LAMP
>>30667423I never thought I would hear a worse pick up line then "wanna fuck?" Shows what I know.
Rolled 20>>30667473"I'm gonna attack-a dat cloaca."
>>30667423Too smooth.Smoother than the smoothest sooth at the smooth sooth store.
>>30667423WHY DIDN;T YOU USE THE HEAT LAMP??!?!?! It's ok I still love you
>>30667455
>>30667495The nat twenty makes this fantastic
>>30667517
>>30667423LARROIMPORTANT QUESTIONIS MAGICAL GIRL SPARKLE MAGICAL MOM SPARKLE NOW?DOES SHE GET A MM+?
I missed the thread, but my theory is that the cat-creature is actually Rena's pet cat Kitty, who is envious now that Rena is off making friends.So we might even to have to kill him seven more times.
So, who's going to watch this thread until it's gone to make sure every post gets archived?
>>30667544>my theory is that the cat-creature is actually Rena's pet cat Kitty, who is envious now that Rena is off making friends.
>>30667544Six, monster did one, rena did one, and now caffy did one.
>>30667544Pretty sure we didn't kill him once, because of his teleportation and shapeshifting powers.But he is getting weaker.
Fic soon folks, I'm just doing a quick skim to catch errors and I'll get it posted.
>>30667495the last time that happened we wound up with an egg.
>>30667544Why would Kitty stab Rena, though?
>>30667580MM+/caffornicator needs to be.
>>30667580Right on, dude. I hope it's vanilla lesbians.
>>30667544It's Kirbay, not Kitty.
>>30667586Yandere jealousy?
Rolled 1>>30667580Hooray!
And so ends another thread. I had a lot of fun, as usual, and I hope you all enjoyed it. The time for the next one will be posted on the twitter.Here's a bonus panel.
>>30667635Thanks for running, man. Great thread as always.See you next time.
>>30667635I love you larro <3
>>30667635wheshesmiles.jpg
>>30667635hospital party!
>>30667635Rena is Hero Jesus.
Did we ever learn Anti-Hero's name?
>>30667635Rena will be the best mother someday.
>>30667635D'awwwww...Thanks for running!
Rolled 20>>30667635Rena: The Friendmaker
>>30667691No she wont and you know it.Maybe, MAYBE if she adopts
>>30667719I'm fairly certain she's going to settle down with a nice man eventually.He will be just as dense as rena.The child will be concieved on accident, and embarrassed "take responsibility" style marriage will follow.
>>30667719Not with how she takes care of Stick. No one will ever approve her for adoption.
>>30667635>cloacaI was kind of hoping for the aftermath of Californicator
>>30667691She is more of the spacey aunt who you can talk to about things you would never ask your parents
>>30667737It's NSFW. He can't show that.
>>30667735>The child will be concieved on accident, and embarrassed "take responsibility" style marriage will follow.so, just like the rest of them then.
>>30667667Yeah, Rena should've brought everyone in the hospital some cake and punch.Next thread, we should do that.
>>30667759with more slapstick. And banana trips.
>>30667580And here's the fic, with an extra serving of S-Class!http://pastebin.com/CrYhgiL3
>>30667782>Rider.Oh boy.
>>30667782Rockin' stuff! You do awesome work, Anon.
>>30667776Was Anti-Hero proficient in martial arts?Because if she is, we could get her out of the hospital and have her teach Rena how to fight properly.
>>30667776this was SUPPOSED to go to >>30667758
>>30667635Thanks for the Thread!Oh, and Threadly reminder that the updated Ebook can be found at http://pastebin.com/kbGzcbDb
>>30667825Thanks!On an unrelated note, I have just accepted a job offer to a really awesome company, but the position will eat up a lot of my time. Due to all of that, I might not be able to do as many flatfics in the future, so nobody should worry if I disappear for a while.
>>30668108What job? Good news deserves to be spread, ya?
I'd ride a Rider
>>30668108Well congratulations, I hope it's great
>>30667423Is there anything to Ara about?
>>30668186MM+ totally got laid, for one.
>>30668462She doesn't want to get laid, though, she wants to get loved.
Rolled 18>>30668533Just like Rena!
