It's cold. It's always cold here. You burrow further into the fluffy ground and shiver a bit. Normally you would be asleep by now, but a thought afflicts you.What is best rat?>Biggest rat is best rat!>Fastest rat is best rat!>Smartest rat is best rat!
>>30552099>Biggest rat is best rat!WE IZ DA BIGGEST, THAT MEANS WE IZ DA RATBOSS!
SMARTEST RAT IS BEST RAT
>>30552099Biggest rat is best rat!Because we'z fluffy!
>>30552099Please. Biggest rat is biggest rat. Fastest rat is fastest rat. Smartest rat is smartest rat. None of them are best rat.>Rattiest rat is best rat.
>>30552099> Smartest rat is best rat!We Secret of Nimh now.
>>30552099Lucky rat.
>>30552099>Smartest rat is best rat!
>>30552099>Biggest rat is best rat!Hugeness is the ultimate virtue.
>nibbles warpstone
>>30552099Smartest is bestest,
>not picking smartest ratsmart rat knows how to lift and jog
>>30552226>>30552260>>30552269>>30552325Writing.
>>30552265This.
>being a rat
>>30552286Hey, put that stuff down. You are not a warplock. You are a fat rat. Warpstone only goes to smart rat.
Once again, /tg/ picks the brains option.Just once I want to play a brawler.
>>30552099Smartest rat is best rat! Smartest rat gets cheese while the others are running around lost in the maze. Sometimes the bald giants give you extra cheese too. They started giving it to you whenever you looked at the color box. At first it hurt and you only did it for the cheese, but now you stare at it for hours. There is something beneath the colors. Something terrible. Something significant. You will find it some day, but for now you let the unassailable existential truth of bestness comfort you as you drift off to sleep.....
>>30552434You awaken suddenly to the feeling of a bald one lifting you out of your home. Perhaps today there will be cheese. You hope it's cheese. You hope it isn't pain.It is. The bald one places you inside a large, dark hole. You can see the light from the top, but the walls are too sheer to climb. There is cold water in the bottom of the hole. A tiny island is in the middle, barely enough to stand on.>What do you do rat?
>>30552483Go to the island
>>30552407>pauses for a moment>resumes nibbling
>>30552483Prepare to never sleep.
>>30552500Seconded
Rolled 3, 6, 4 = 13>>30552483Squeak and Poop while plotting World Domination and evolution
>>30552483Feign death to manipulate captors into taking you out
>>30552500Yea but in all seriousness this
>>30552483What is the container made of?
>smart rathere we go
>>30552580Pls no My boner can't handle the impending Lewdness
>>30552500>>30552524>>30552535>>30552568You scamper up onto the tiny island, shivering and trying futiley to clean the cold water from your fur. As the time ticks immeasurably by you begin to drift back to sleep. It is still quite dark, not time to awaken yet. Maybe if you... just....*SPLASH*You're jolted back to consciousness as you struggle and gasp in the icy water. You scamper back to the island, squeaking bitterly.>What now rat?
>>30552680Angrily shake a paws an squeak to the heaven "DAMM YOU BALD GIANT I WILL HAVE MY VENGENCE!!"
>>30552680Go into the water and get accustomed to the temperature
>>30552680Get your body in the water and your head on the island.
loot the room
>>30552680WHAY ARE YOU DOING THIS TO SMART RAT
>>30552813There is only water here. You drink a bit, but quickly determine that drinking your way out will not be possible.>>30552732>>30552771>>30552729The water is quite cold, and barely shallow enough to stand in. You cannot sleep standing up. Nor can you find purchase on the tiny sheer island without using all your muscle and claw. No, you cannot sleep here. These defeatist thoughts wound your presumption of bestness, but you must struggle on. Smartest rat is best rat. Smartest rat is best rat!You squeak your mantra out in a fit of rage, railing against the cruel fates that have trapped you here. All at once you here a cacophony of angry squeaks emanating from other rats as if in reply. A few moments later a shadow looms over your hole. As you peer into the darkness you see a face.... a small, furry, bewhiskered face.The rat squeaks at you.>What shall you do?
>>30552906KILL IT, KILL IT AND USE IT'S CORPSE TO WARM THE WATER
>>30552906ratspeak: engage
>>30552412You're a rat. There's not a whole lot of brawling that can be done, save the fact that you could fight other rats or cats.
>>30552939That would not work in any way, shape or form.
>>30552906We need to sniff the newcomer. Is he a friend or a stranger?
>>30552906Go stand next to the wall, use it for support.They're probably going to keep sending rats in to see if they start fighting for the island. Let's not be a part of that.
>>30552906Look at it pleadingly.
>>30552906Squeak in a friendly but still somewhat suspicious fashion.
>>30552906>>30552962sniff the newcomer. if friendly, squeak for help
>>30552906drown to show dominance
>>30552906Squeak"Battle Brother prepare for combat in the name of the holy God Rat Emperor"
>>30552962>>30552978>>30552987>>30552989>>30552966You approach the newcomer suspiciously. It is bigger than you. Big rats are dangerous rats... but smartest rat is best rat. The rat bears it's teeth at you and squeeks menacingly. Rather than fight you fix your eyes on the newcomer and chitter disarmingly. The rat slacken as a sense of calm washes over it's face. It trudges around the edges... surveying the walls and scrabbling pointlessly against them a few times. Before long it makes for your island and clumsily starts trying to climb on, bowling you off in the process.>This is best rat island? What will you do?
>>30553106Let it climb on, then crawl on top of it. Rat tower!
>>30553106Best rat is already best, can leave island to non best rat.Use the wall as support.
>>30553024This
>>30553134Do this. See if there are any other rats we can make a rat ladder out of here.
>>30553106Explain situation, explain rat ladder plan.
>>30552906Beat it bloody.Then surf it to freedom.
>>30553106Explain what you're doing, then climb on its back.
>>30553239You guys must really hate quests, our chance to kill a seasoned tank with more ferocity in melee is fucking minimal even with surpirse. Plus, it wouldn't be a good floating device.
>>30553134>>30553149>>30553156>>30553202>>30553225You leave the bullying simpleton to his island and tread the icy water, letting the water brace your thoughts and focus you. Leaning up against the edge of the hole you stop to think. Unacceptable. Why should rats be set against one another? Why should you be made to live within the unwalls and fight over scraps of cheese? Surely there is a higher calling for ratkind than that!You turn to your new cellmate and marshal your thoughts. You prepare to tell him of honor and destiny. Of duty and brotherhood. Of the truest meaning of "best rat"."SQUEAK."Something strange comes over the other rat. It bends down as if inviting you onto it's broad shoulders. You struggle out of the waters and onto it's back. You stay there for a time, feeling warm and secure until both of you begin to fade into slumber.*KER-SPLOOSH*You thrash in the water alongside your new brother, only to see a third rat staring dumbly at the both of you.>There must be something we can do!
>>30553299This. Dead bodies don't float until they start to decompose.
>>30553313RAT TOWER!
>>30553313Our brilliant plan comes closer to fruition.RAT TOWER ENGAGE
>>30553313rat ladder to exit?
>>30553313Rat tower. Remember to get everyone on the other sideRecruit into party once benefit is clearly seen.
>>30553313Examine containment for structural weaknesses
>>30553313jump on ratdo this >>30552580
The newest addition to your hole is a nervous female. She skitters around the edges of the hole, doing endless loops around the perimeter. You finally manage to block her path and nip at her, getting her attention long enough to stare into her eyes and give her the same commanding squeak you did the big rat. She ceases her pointless running and settles next to the big rat, staring intently.>RATMIND level 2 achieved. You may give your rats direct orders.You tell your new friends of a plan. Alone even biggest rat is small rat, but together you can be biggest rat of all! The fat one lumbers to the edge of the cage and positions himself, standing as tall as he can. The female clambers on top of him, and you in turn climb to stand on her head. Straining your tiny claws to the very limit of their joints you grasp the lip of the hole, hauling yourself over the edge with torturous slowness.>You now stand precariously on the lip of the large cylinder. What will you do?
>>30553556Hold on to the edge and let tail hang down. They will use it as a rope to climb up.
Rolled 9, 3, 10 = 22>>30553556Scan for bald Giant then pull our rat kin up
>>30553556Look around to see if there is anything we can use to lift them up Do >>30553586 if necessary because I don't think our tail will hold up to Big Rat.
>>30553556>>30553605>>30553586Seconded. Hang on to the top with your dear life.
>>30553556on that note, what gender are we? Do we get to choose?
>>30553648Smart Rat shall be male rat who also happens to be best rat
Caution slowness.
>>30553648No need for gender when you're a neckbeard rat
>>30553605>>30553586>>30553621You scan the darkened room for bald ones, but see none. Somehow you get the feeling they would not like this. Somehow you know they will not give you cheese for this.A plaintive squeek pulls your mind back to your ratkin. The female is still atop the fat rat's back, reaching and clawing towards the edge. You position yourself along the edge, hooking your front claws under the lip and dangling yourself down as a living ladder. The female climbs (painfully!) up your tail and back and over your head to join you on the lip. The fat rat stares at you dumbly, waiting for you to do something. The realization quickly sets in that you cannot reach him. It is a bad feeling, not dissimilar to when you were given pain for failing to finish one of the longer mazes. But different somehow too.As you ruminate on these unwelcome new thoughts the world suddenly bursts into painful daylight. A bald one emerges from the door and begins moving towards you, making loud noises and gesturing wildly.>I don't think he has cheese at all!
Female should go first. We can pull big rat up together.
>>30553782That cage is on a table, right ? Can we get baldy to push it ? Maybe when he lunges forward to grab us ?
>>30553782Squeak a sad, final goodbye to Big Rat, before scaning the room for hiding spots.
>>30553835THIS.>Leave no rodent behind!
>>30553782Jump in. Let Biggest Rat use us as a footstool to climb up.We can be trapped here alone.
tactical scurry to nearest cover, search for weapon
>>30553782Quick, search your memories, there must be something you can use in this lab.
>>30553835This, or push it ourselves. Fight the human!
>>30553835>>30553872>>30553880>>30553988All your instincts scream for you to run, and you somehow know that the female's are telling her to do the same. But the un-pain compels you to stay. Rather than flee you turn to the female and squeak commandingly.You both stand stalk still waiting until the bald one reaches it's massive claw towards you, before jumping off the lip and scampering up it's body to rake at it's face. The creature screeches in pain and flails and drives forward, sending the prison and the perch it stands of crashing to the ground. As the creature reels you jump off and link up with your pack, scampering across the open ground.>FLEE! FLEE! WHERE ARE WE GOING?
>>30554047Through the massive gate, quickly.
>>30554047Use furniture as cover, aim for the door.
>>30554047Quick to the conveniently placed tunnel !!! That leads to the main rat storage
>>30554047Run under the furniture, trying to stay as concealed as possible, towards the door.
>>30554089>>30554100>>30554125The three of you scamper across the floor, darting from cover to cover as your rat instincts instruct you. You can see the great hole before you. The female charges ahead heedlessly while the big rat begins lagging behind. You need to squeak at the others to hold them together. Biggest pack is best pack! You cannot see the large one behind you now, but you can hear it, making terrible moaning noises.As you emerge from the greathole a chorus of excited squeaking greets you. There are rats everywhere, some trapped behind the glinting unwalls, and others locked behind steel bars. A great, terrible feeling washes over you, one you struggle to comprehend.>It is time, but for what?
>>30554224IT IS TIME FOR A REVOLUTION
>>30554261Find and press big red "RELEASE" button.
>>30554224It's time for a revolution lars...
>>30554290Meant for >>30554224
>>30554290Use our ability to get all the rats to make a mess while we look for it.
>>30554224>>30554290This. There must be a button or a keyboard with release mechanism. Try to remember, you always had a good memory after all.>>30554328This, command our brethen to chitter as high as they can muster to stun the primate.
>>30554261>>30554290>>30554316>>30554321>>30554360These are your people! You wish to free them, free all of them! But there is no button here to do that, not like the button that gave you cheese when you chose to shock the large male you did not like. That was a good button.The rats scream and rage against their bondage, struggle against the bars. You look on them with pity. The massive skein of skeletal bars stretches into the distance, sometimes solid, sometimes rattling, sometimes wrapping around itself in hooks and teeth, but always separating your people from you.>We must do something!
>>30554224It's time for the future!
Rolled 10, 10, 4 = 24>>30554480PULL THE LEVER KRONK
>>30554480Climb the cages. If we can see more we can do more!
>>30554480Squeak loudly, promising to return and free them all, before gathering your companions and continuing to run. There's no time to manually unlock each and every cage right now.
>>30554480Make a speech to the rats about how we will be the biggest and best pack and how we will co-operate for freedom.
>>30554496Yes. Excellent.I support Rat-Kane for Rat Leader.
>>30554480>>30554496Find release button.Push button.???Chaos!
>>30554496>>30554535>>30554546>>30554552You squeak at your companions, deploying rapidly into rat tower formation. You vault over their heads and onto the bars of the first prison. There is a fiendish contraption here, keeping the bars in place. A lesser rat would have despaired, but not best rat. You let one foot loose from your hold and kick at a lever lodged in the bars. As the lever slides downwards the bars swing loose, nearly threatening to send you plummeting to the ground below. Your eyes catch the rat's for just a moment as you swing by it. It squeaks smartly and jumps down to join the others on the ground. You manage this for a few more cages but even with your new friends there is simply no time!The noises are getting louder, the heavy footfalls of the large one grow louder now. You turn to your people and squeak for quiet. All of them are stilled, and turn to you in hushed anticipation. You tell them of best rat, of the un-pain, and of the pack. You tell them you will free them, no matter what. You will absolutely free them all!>The bald one is close now, what will you do?
>>30554780We need to find somewhere to hide where the bald one can't reach us. We can sneak back to rescue the rest later when the bald one has gone.
>>30554780How many rats have been freed? We can mount an ambush.
>>30554780EVERYONE! PLAY DEAD!
>>30554780Same thing we do every night, Pinky.Try to take over the world!
>>30554824This
>>30554780Escape and hide, use door or air ducts.>>30554867You need 25 rats atacking from surprise to incapacitate temporarily a man with poor reactions. IDT we're that many
>>30554916Using vents is a good idea.
Do rats have night vsion? We could command a rat to hide near the light switch. When the bald beast enters the room we turn it off and consume.
>>30554916>You need 25 rats atacking from surprise to incapacitate temporarily a man with poor reactionsI'm wondering why you know this particular tidbit.
>>30554824>>30554867>>30554882>>30554906>>30554913>>30554916You quickly weigh the odds of resistance, for which you have oddly specific figures already on hand. Though it pains you to admit it you are not strong enough to fight the large one now that it suspects treachery, and you conclude that today discretion is the better part of bestness.>RATMIND LEVEL 4 ACHIEVED. You may now sense the presence of large ones. You may try to command other creatures.Calling your eight companions you make for a loose metal grate. Sometimes when you were being wheeled through the halls in your home you saw these grates elsewhere, and you surmise that they might be connected. They do look a bit like the greatholes you went through earlier. Your faith is rewarding by a long, thin tunnel that stretches outwards into the distance.>You can go in two directions. In your ratmind, you can sense creatures in both directions. One way the minds are small and muffled, the other they are heavy and loud. Neither are ratminds.
>>30555076Go heavy and loud.
>>30555076we move for the small minds. should they not be bald ones, perhaps they may share our goals.
>>30555076Small. Perhaps not rat but mouseminds. Natural allies.
>>30555054I used to work at a huge neglected archive. A dusty place with rats the size of red king hares and half chewed papers with droppings everywhere. I never entered the "pit" without a sharp broomstick, thick gloves and my mouth and nose thrice covered. Just by inhaling the droppings you can catch some nasty diseases.A stupid mofo trying to mock my caution later and that's how I came across that particular number. I kid you not he entered like he owned the place and ended up covered in bites crying like a little bitch.To actually kill a man without significant losses you need enough rats to trigger a psychological effect and nibble at many vitals at the same time, possibly 90 or more. However once you're knocked out they can leave only bones in just a few hours. This other info I know since I've seen how rats devour full grown roosters.>>30555076how small, like us? How heavy, like dogs? If it feels dangerous, go with the small ones.
>>30555171>>30555267The terrible weight of the largeminds oppresses you, and you decide to shy away from it. Leading your companions through the tunnels you emerge at the source of the smaller echoes. There are banks of cages, not unlike the ones that trap your companions. But these are filled with other creatures, strange rats with massive furry tails. You reach out to commune with one, as you do with your brothers, but the feeling is cold and alien. You feel as though you could force yourself on it, but not it would never willingly accept the rat-thought.That's when you feel it. Another mind, slightly larger, and devious. Without the ratmind you never would have heard it coming. Looking behind you the thing is already there across the room. It bears down on you with terrible speed, causing the ratmind to boil with terror.>PREDATOR! PREDATOR! WHAT DO WE DO?
>>30555435RUSH THE FUCKER. ALL AS ONE.Cats are ambush predators, they'll usually back off from a straight fight, and almost always run if they're outnumbered.
>>30555435Cats and squirrels... shit...>We can actually kill and devour this one, but we're probably going to have one injured or dead companion (unless the cat claws a tank or something)I leave the decision to you guys. I'd rather hide if we can.
>>30555435The great enemy approaches!Defensive line! Stay together and fight off it's evil paws!
>>30555435>>30555521If we CAN't run, however, we'll have to fight.
>>30555435Fuck this, we out.Orderedly advance, but away from the enemy.We do some planning before we do anything else.
>>30555435Form ranks!Advance!>>30555556No fear! The feline must die.
>>30555435EVASIVE MANEUVERS Get the fast ones to distract him while the others evacuate. Keep a wall of big rats pushing forward.
>>30555435Retreat, an organized one mind you, not a panicked scattering, which will just result in one unfortunate being picked off.We are smartest rat, we plan before facing a deadly enemy.
Just don't break formation.
>>30555435Bumrush. A big rat can kill a cat in a straight fight if it sees them coming. Eight rats can swarm a lone cat easy.
>>30555600This. This is barely a fight. Cats are actually deathly afraid of rats. They prefer mice.
ctrl+f "brux"clearly no one here is a happy rat
>>30555615It's probably better to hold formation, though. We can't afford any losses.
Rolled 150>>30555518>>30555528>>30555556>>30555571>>30555590>>30555600>>30555615>>30555647You marshal your companions, struggling to keep control over the churning mass of instincts. Stabilizing the pack, You gather the rats together into a well packed phalanx. The creature hisses and bears it's fangs as it bears down. You match it's aggression and it's gaze, boring into it's mind with the eighteen eyes of the ratmind. The beast flinches a bit, but continues it's charge.>This is your most terrible challenge yet! Roll 9 individual d100s!
Rolled 51>>30555682
Rolled 21, 98, 70, 89, 98, 16, 16, 89, 73 = 570>>30555682RIP AND TEAR.
Rolled 22, 8, 62, 44, 84, 95, 16, 53, 29 = 413>>30555682TO ME BROTHERS! TO ME!
Rolled 15, 62, 38, 73, 95, 66, 27, 56, 45 = 477>>30555682
Rolled 43, 11, 20, 26, 59, 98, 80, 52, 10 = 399>>30555682>/tg/ dice>ohboyherewego.gif
>>30555682
Rolled 89, 45, 59, 58, 15, 3, 57 = 326>>30555682rollan for flanking, two rats in front, three on each side. Prepare for>frontal retreat when it pounces>Harrass on unprotected flank, then backslide>Go for vitals at the other flank as the monster spins>All rats in for shock and kill.Hope tactics giev bonuses to our dice because dice hate /tg/
>>30555758Only rolled 7. Nice plan though.
Rolled 25, 47 = 72>>30555758wait, I only rolled 7
Rolled 97, 3, 10, 10, 71, 53, 64, 45, 38 = 391>>30555682We shall not submit brothers! this shall not be our end!
>>30555758The Dice Gods and RNJesus don't hate /tg/. They love /tg/ so much, they give /tg/ exactly what they want. Not what they need, but what they want.Don't you want this? Isn't this how it goes? You could have stopped at any time you wanted. But you wanted to keep going.It's happening anon. And you didn't stop it.
>>30555712>>30555758The cat withers under the terrible gaze of the ratmind, almost breaking off it's attack but continuing at the last minute instead. It bats wildly at the balls of rats, knocking one aside and moving to clench it's razor teeth over another.Fortunately you had the foresight to put the female, and a few of the other slighter rats, in the front rank. They expertly dodge and weave between the creature's clumsy claws. As they do so they other rats circle around, biting viciously at it's heels and provoking a terrified howl. The furry creature's thoughts invert almost instantly from fight to flight, and it begins to retreat back into the darkness.>You have it on the run, but you probably can't chase it. What will you do?
>>30555851Celebrate and build friendship with your fellows. Then attempt first contact with the strange not-rats.
Rolled 90, 74 = 164>>30555851nibble just a bit more without thinning our ranks. basically give it space to retreat. It's going to be too bloody to come back, at least for a few days.After that tend to the baffled one, see if it isn't too hurt.We also need to know the individual components of our pack, how many thinkers, rogues, warriors, and how many of them are females, as well as their perceivable ages.While the party remains small we need to micromanage this shit.
>>30555882>>30555911A faster rat manages to sink it's fangs into the creature's tail provoking another terrible yowl before it violently shakes him loose. It will certainly think twice about attacking you again. Turning back to your own, you reach out and study the rat-mind. It seems nobody has been seriously injured, although a few are shaken up. You reflect on the effectiveness of your tactics and take note of the rats' talents.>2 of the rats are very large, with surly dispositions to match.>3 of them are very fast, including the female who is fastest of all.>The others are unremarkable. Two of them are rather clever, but not like you. You turn to the not-rats. Their thoughts are strange and, if you may say, rather insipid. They yearn to be free, to climb, to eat. They will not accept the rat-thought willingly. You nearly despair of these sad creatures when you finally fall on it. A beautiful, shining beacon of rat-thought hidden amongst these chattering idiots. It looks like the others, but with a sleek white coat and huge red eyes. It hears your voice. It understands. You quickly unlatch the cage and bring the not-rat with you. Through it's eyes you can now see much more clearly, even with the minimal light in the room.>Where shall we go now? Back through the tube? Or into the hall? You note that the pack is hungry. You will need to find food eventually....
>RATMIND LEVEL 4 ACHIEVED. You may now sense the presence of large ones. You may try to command other creatures.Maybe we should try this on something?
>>30552412That's like expecting /tg/ not to immediately jump to "LOL WE'RE LESBIANS NOW"In other words being reasonable
>>30556177Actually guys I'm going to call it here tonight. This was only supposed to be a one shot, but it's clearly moving too slowly for that.So instead it'll be two mini-shots. Tune in tomorrow for the thrilling conclusion of RAT QUEST.
>>30556279Thanks OP, it's been fun, I look forward to the finale.
>>30556279Ok ratmind, a pleasure to play dude.
