>>30534559
Sector Whoknows VIII
Planet Whocares IX
A planetary governor hears a huge knocking at the door to his palace.
'How odd' he thought to himself, not a servant in sight.
The knocking came louder, THUNK, THUNK THUNK! It sounded like a tank was banging on the front door! It started to make the metal quiver and buckle, it was going to break the door down!
With haste, the governor answered the door....at first he saw green...then he followed it all the way up to see more green...Orky green.
Looking down at the governor was a gargantuan Ork, a warboss by the look of him, at his front door, of his palace...with an almost as large package.

"Uhh...hello." He greeted, almost astonished.
>"Iz gotz a package fer ya." The Ork replied in a "matter of fact" tone
"I...didn't order anything." The governor said apprehensively, searching for his nearest firearm.
>"Itz got yaz name on it, seez! Guvnor Reegal" The green giant pointed at the box with his Power Klaw.
What in the name of the throne was this? A warboss delivering a package? what form of lucid dream was this?!
"O-okay then." Regal stammered out, in no such luck of finding a fire arm.
>"I needz ya to sign diz before ya takez it" The Warboss thrusted a huge clipboard forward, with a tiny pen attached to it.
The governor stared at it, then up at him, then back to the clipboard.
"Th-thats fine." He scribbled a signature down on the clipboard, the Ork quickly took the clipboard away and grabbed the package with two hands.

"So, what is this...delivery anyway?" He questioned the ork with more confidence.
The Warboss tore open the package, a dark shape falling out of it only to be caught by the Ork, green bubble wrap hiding it for a moment until then he saw it...a very, very big shoota.
>"Dakka"
No one really knows how the Eldar had infiltrated the governors palace that night, but there had been rumours, of a box that was on the front doorstep of the governors palace, that quite crudely had writen on it.
"Dakka Xpress"

>>30534559
>>30534583
Iz we run by Mad Dok 'Erbert?

>"GOOD NEWS, YA GITS!"

>>30534616
We'z moight 'ave a Mad Dok, who krumped a bunch-a Orks.

I dun fink he's da boss doe.
He's been on plenty-a Dakka deliveries though!

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>>30534616
>Mad Doc Herbert
>GOOD NEWS, YA GITS!

Yes...

>>30534826
Trying to make something light hearted and fun!
Throw in something to the ring.
I tried last time I made a thread to flesh out the "Ordo Postularum"
Elite Post Officers who use explosive packages and letter shuriken.
their main rivals.

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Wut if some Loota's get into dem packages?

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>>30535169
Den we findz out where dey Iz.
An we deliver our specialty.
Dakka.

>>30535210
Oooooi! I weren't tinkin' of stealin' nothin'. Just sharin', is all.

>>30535244
Den "Shaaaare" ya shoota so'se we can deliver more Dakka!
Ya git!

We'z Dakka Xpress.
We deliver da Dakka first.
shiny stuff second!

>>30534559
BOSS! I gotz da Delivery Choppaz workin'... Mostly

>>30535377
Wutz ya mean "Mostly?!"

>>30535410
Well, da onez we looted from those spikey gitz iz actin' funny. And Gruntspit replaced the whirly bitz on his wif gretchen...

>>30535753
Wif Gretchen, whut da zog?

>>30535834
Dem stupid gitz. Maybe we ken put wheels on da Choppa, make it ride 'cross da ground? We paint it red, it'll go propah fastah.

>>30535896
>>30535834
OI! I gotz an idea. Wut if we use dem Shokk Attakk Gunz and mod-y-fied 'em ta fire parcels? Den we could have da grots deliver papers while wez deliverin' packages!?

>>30535999
Eeeuuh...hmmm....howz we gonna know if the parcels land in da propah place?

>>30536101
We just get lotz a' parcels, ya git!! if we miss, we just use more dakka!!!

>>30536172
A'right! Also, Oi'm pretty shure one uv da Grots wuz stealin' bitz from da workshop.

I love you tg, don't ever change.


WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!M

*knock* *knock*
comes from the front door

someone yells
>HELLLOOOOO IMPERIAL POST I HAVE A PACKAGE FOR A UHHH DOC AT THIS ADDRESS!

its the hated enemy, he has come for you and all your gubbins at, last the final confrontation between orky and 'oomie postal service is at hand >WAT DO

>>30540549
>open the door

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>>30540702
on the other side of the door is a 'oomie who looks suspiciously like pic related

>got a package for you sir

he says as he hands you a small brown box along with a clipboard

>going to need a signature too

which you give him as any roight propah orc would

you hand back the clipboard and he leaves with one last

>have a good day sir

its a few minutes before you come out of your stupor enough to tear open your package

inside is a piece of paper with the sentance "thanks for the ride" written across it.

>well that don't make no sense ah avan't done nuthin yet today

you say to yourself as you slam the door and turn around

very quickly you realize somthing has gone horribly horribly wrong because right in front of you, right where your triple orky gargant should be is a piece of paper, written on it is

"I.O.U -creed"

you collapse to your knees, throw up your hands and do the only thing apprpriate in a situaion like this

you yell

>CCCCCCCCCCRRRRRREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEED

Score
imperium 1
orks 1

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>>30540973
Who-ever you are Anon.
I love you.

>>30542455
we'z go aftah im roight boss? gets da stompy back roight?