Previous threads:>http://suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/archive.html?tags=Ogre%20Civilization%20Quest>http://archive.foolz.us/tg/search/subject/Ogre%20Civilization%20Quest/type/op/order/asc/"Every race has their own take on the very beginning of the universe, though all those different theories have been continually altered and refined as they improve their thaumaturgical and/or technological methods which, in turn, allows them greater access into the inner workings of our reality."One common theme underlying all theories and myths is the existence of one or more great, primordial divine being who came into existence around the birth of our universe. For instance, the dwarves (who insist on calling it the "Great Big Kablooie") believe that some "great flaming rooster" heralded the creation of all things with a delighted crowing, whereupon it fried itself to provide a feast for the soon-to-be-awakened dwarven god. Meanwhile, elven legend talks of a similar creature, a glorious, beautiful firebird, which did battle against the avatar of stupidity and thus saved all sentient life from being dumber than a sack of bricks."While everyone has a general sense of the mythical god-being's classification- some sort of fiery, avian creature- no one knows exactly what its name is, due to the untranslatable nature of its great voice, echoes of which may still be heard in the depths of the universe today."However, in recent years, the humans have insisted (with rising panic) that they have translated its name, using the dialect of some uncivilized monster-class race. The scholars of the human kingdoms were summarily laughed out of the scientific community..."(Cont.)
>>30531003Interrupting the Blorp!
>>30531003-----------------------------------------------Ogir Place - Flying Golem OasisFlight, Weapons, Structure broken!EQUIP - Sandstorm Drill (broken), Magma Shield (broken)-----------------------------------------------Population: ???/??? ogres (6 dead), 90/90 elves, ∞/∞ patchwings, 50/50 Solar Skellies- [Landmarks] Oasis, Daphnaia, Underground Cave/Quarry [50% mined]- [Food] Cacti(-ow), Fungi, Wheat, Potatoes, Ravager Meat, Milk; Fair Growth (+32/turn)- [Resources] Sandstone, Iron+Chromite Ores, Featherstone, Aquifer Pebbles, Bones [Ogir Fist]- [Diplomacy] Scaratone [ALLIED; Featherstone Carts, Fungi, Paper]; Felpowder Elves [UNITED]; Cheevo Hunter Dwarves [???]- [Key Items] Tomes (Dragon Lore, Illusory Magic I, Necromancy I), Crazy Ghost's Books- [Arms] Cactus Maces, Iron Scimitars, Heat-Seeking Rokkit Launchers, Short-Ranged Bow+Arrow, Crude Iron Armor, Demon Helm/Shoulderpads; Ur-Camouflage- [Vocations] OGRES: Geo (∞), Berserks, BMasters, Rockkits, Riders, Heallusionist- [Beasts] Giant Bats (trained), Naked Mole Ravagers (trained)- [Settlement] Ruined Rock Shanties, Broken Storehouse, Mud Farms, Anchor/Stairs, SOGGY HELL ASHES- [Named Ogres] Boss Bawss Fistboss [+30 Diplomacy], Geomancer Gubbins [+30 Geomancy to All, +Ruoumoko, +Time], Beastkrumpa Squiggles Irwin [+Beast Whisperer, Big Vulture]- [Allied VIPs] Celicia Silverstone, Gunston Lockstock, Vultan- [Tech] Fire, Fish, Farm[+Protection+Fertilizer], Cooking, Tea, Mine, Smelt/Forge, Write/Read, Hats, FStone Flight, FStone Airdrops, Airships, Ur-Cartography- [Magic] Geomancy X, Heallusion I, Necromancy I, Time I, Climate Control 0- [Economy] System=Barter; Currency=Shit- [Justice] Krumpin' Duels / Boss Knows Best-----------------------------------------------ROLLS>Any Doubles: STUPID LUCKY>100: SO BRILLIANT IT'S STUPID>90-98: Stupidly Successful>60-90: Successful>40-60: So-So>10-40: Kind Of A Problem>2-10: SO STUPID THAT IT'S BRILLIANT >1: LUCKY STUPID(Cont.)
>>30531048>Halfway through a turn...>[X] [SPHERE] Examine Oiwotsmilk's sphere. It's certainly a nice gift, innit?>[X] [CALL] Try calling out to anyone else!As the surrounding universe returns to its calmer, not-fiery ambiance, Gubbins glances down at the sphere in his hands, a parting gift from the great god-phoenix Oiwotsmilk.Cracked and leathery, veins of pulsing-red lava visible all along its blackened surface, the sphere resembles nothing more than some big toasted marshmallow that had just finished catching on fire. By all rights, it should be burning a hole through the short ogre's leathery hands right now, but Gubbins doesn't feel much other than a pervading warmth- and the ever-present scent of magic from this thing, inert as it is.... maybe he could eat it? That way, he'll know if it's edible or not. Or he could pump it full of magic to see what happens, which is ALWAYS a sensible idea that couldn't ever lead to anything bad happening.Gubbins shoves that thought aside for now, because he's got more pressing matters to worry about! The ogre stows the egg into his inventory before taking a deep breath- and then belting out his question at the top of his lungs."OI! SO DOES ANYONE ELSE OUT HERE KNOW WOT MILK IS, OR NOT?"(Cont.)
>>30531075His words barely have time to begin echoing through the cosmos before he senses a presence trundling up behind him. Gubbins blinks as another nondescript ogre approaches him, finding absolutely nothing strange about the presence of an ogre in the cold reaches of space, eons before the development of any sentient life. Because really, it stands to reason, don't it? Everytime you get an ogre, there's never another one far behind."Sorry, boss," the new arrival says apologetically, scratching his head in confusion. "Just got here myself."Gubbins sighs. "Dang. No dice, huh?""Nope. Can I go now, boss? I'm hungry."Gubbins shrugs and waves him away. The other ogre promptly starts walking through space, moving inexorably toward the nearest inhabitable planet in the galaxy, never to be seen again until some millions of years later. But that's a story for another time, and Gubbins doesn't have nearly enough patience to deal with that. He's an ogre on a mission![A] [BACK TO THE FUTURE!] Time to go to the dwarflands before the kobolds attack![B] [BACK TO THE FIGHT!] Time to go to the dwarflands while the kobolds are attacking![C] [BACK TO THE...] Time to go to the dwa- er, whoops.[D] [WRITE-IN!] Call s'more? Play with the sphere? The choice is yours!
>>30531094CHow is this even in question?
>>30531094>CLet's go get some help. A couple of Alternate Gubbins from Alternate Universes will make this job easier!
Rolled 99>>30531094Find someone who knows what Milk is. Or create Milk.
>>30531094>[A] [BACK TO THE FUTURE!] Time to go to the dwarflands before the kobolds attack!Gubbins does listen to boss's orders eventually.
>>30531094[A] [BACK TO THE FUTURE!] Time to go to the dwarflands before the kobolds attack!We made a promised with the boss.Also I like pising against the tide
>>30531219>>30531220But if we get Alternate Gubbins, this'll be done in X-a(b/c) amount of time!
Rolled 19>>30531075If Gubbins' doesn't know what milk is, then what the fuck have ogres been "milking" out of the ravagers?Oh....
>>30531185I hear Blorp laughing.
>>30531310Blorp didn't ask for Super Lucky Time.
>>30531173>>30531145Or we could get Blorp from EVOquest
Rolled 120>>30531185>>30531275>Gubbins' travels to the future to asks his future self OI WOTS MILK>Future Gubbins doesn't know>both scratch their gizzards and create "Milk".>it imbibes the drinker with Ogre luck>panic
AL...RIGHT, looks like we need a tiebreaker between both forms of time dickery!1 - Warp to before the dwarves were attacked!2 - Warp to OOOH SHIIIIIII-
>>30531185>>30531275>>30531397Sorry for samefagging, but those were rapid fire thoughts that shot through my brainymeats that I had to get down.Back to lurking.
>>30531486Seems like people haven't shown up yet.
>>30531608Seems so! I'll give it about 10-15 minutes before deciding, then.
>>305314861 and 2, at the same time.I WANT TO TASTE YOUR TEARS, BLORP.
>>30531486Alright, looks like WARP TO OOHSHIIIIIIIT wins! TOO BAD, >>30531927>***STUPID LUCKY TIME?***ROLL d100! (dice+1d100 in the email field)
Rolled 63>>30532019STUPID LUCKY
Rolled 64>>30532019Hey, I tried. Plus I added it in too late.
>>3053205963 isn't too bad! Writing-
>>30532094WHY ARE YOU NOT SOBBING YET
>>30532110Because he got to ignore >>30531185.
Rolled 96>>30532110Bcause your tears are delicious
>>30532110YOU KNOW AS WELL AS I DO THAT IT'S ONLY A MATTER OF TIME.... or i just didn't see >>30531185fuck
>>30532169Nah, it wasn't stupid lucky time when that was rolled, Blorp. Doesn't count.
Rolled 20>>30532169Blorp, it was a 1d200! Not a 1d100! You are still sane!
Rolled 33>>30532203And THAT was a 1d20. Wow.
Rolled 29>>30532222AND a double. What.
Blorp you're beautiful and should feel beautiful.
>>30532019>>30531094>[X] [BACK TO THE...]>63 - Successful!Right. Well, it's certainly not time to muck around. Boss Bawss Fistboss needs to know the location of the dwarflands so he can put it on The Map, therefore saving the dwarves from the clutches of the kobolds!Gubbins takes one last look at the breathtakingly young cosmos around him before channeling his magic, his eyes glowing a bright golden yellow as he wrassles with time and reality. It's not long before he's able to grab one edge of the universe and pull downward, revealing a portal full of the stuff of chaos. Once he steps in, everything simply ceases to adhere to any rule of logic and/or physics, but the ogre simply swims through the nothingness until his hands find something to hold onto.Magic is an imprecise art. Doubly so, when it's being cast in the most freeform and confusing manner possible. Gubbins steps out of his portal and is immediately assaulted not by the freezing air of the dwarven mountains or the muffled ambiance of the underground world-Rather, there's the scent of kobolds.The master geomancer quickly hides behind a nearby stalagmite and extends his senses outward. As far as he can tell, he's in some sort of cave, fairly close to the surface; this particular cave stands alone, not connecting to any dwarven tunnels or anything of the sort. There's the sound of dozens of claws skittering around him, and he can hear the sibilant, hissing murmurs of many kobolds as they discuss something among themselves.[A] [STEALTH] Try to get closer for either a look or a listen. Maybe this could be important![B] [WARP] Nope nope nope IT'S TIME TO GO[C] [AGGRESSIVE MAGIC] Geomancy's never failed Gubbins before, he may as well cause some confusion among these kobolds.[D] [WRITE-IN!]
AND ON THAT NOTE, back in 15 minutes! I think my toilet vomited all over my bathroom floor, because QMs can't have nice things.
>>30532652>[C] [AGGRESSIVE MAGIC] Geomancy's never failed Gubbins before, he may as well cause some confusion among these kobolds.
Rolled 23>>30532652>OI DO ANY OF YOU KNOW WHAT MILK IS?
>>30532652[A] [STEALTH] Try to get closer for either a look or a listen. Maybe this could be important!BE VERY SNEAKY!
>>30532652>CLet's do this! Gubbins Guuuuuuuubbiiins!
>>30532693>[D]yesyesyesyesyesAnd>[D] [PASSIVE AGGRESSIVE MAGIC] Geomancy's never failed Gubbins before, he may as well cause some confusion among these kobolds while trying to get closer for a look or a listen. Maybe this could be Important!
>>30532652A SNEAKYAND D SNEAKY MAGIC BECOME STALAGTITE GUBBINS
Rolled 47>>30532673Oh hello, I derped and forgot this was running. Didn't miss much, it appears.
ALRIGHT, looks like the winning choice this time is-[D] [PASSIVE AGGRESSIVE MAGIC] Confuse the kobolds with geomancy while trying to get a listen! (Also, WOT'S MILK??)>***STUPID LUCKY TIME?***ROLL d100! (dice+1d100 in the email field)>taking the best 1 out of 3!
>>30533152>>30533171Dubs>>30533149And a ninety. Shits whack yo
Rolled 17Well damn, I got distracted at the worst time.>>Two of the same roll.Oh bloooorrrrrrp~
>>30533149hah ha Ogres
Rolled 80>>30533149My first roll in one of these threads and it's over a 90.I'm so proud of myself.
>>30533149>>30533119We get +30 too.
>>30533149>>30533152>>30533171>and +30WELL THEN
Rolled 48>>30533202We do?
>>30533202THat's only Boss Bawss Fistboss.
>>30533222Not with Geomancy~~~. That's Gubbinnnns~~~>>30533229HA!
Rolled 39>>30533248Oh. OH!!!
Rolled 93I would like to take this moment to remind everyone that in the unlikely event we get a sub-par roll we have a 'goddess of luck intervention' and can literally say 'fuck you dice it's Ogre time'.
Rolled 47>>30533402I know nothing is said about those, but they're still cool.
Rolled 60>>30533424If you look closely, my 92 was a reversal of the last two digits of my (brain fart) post... number... thing.
>>30532652>>30533119>[X] [PASSIVE AGGRESSIVE MAGIC] Distract the kobolds with geomancy, then take a look and a listen!Gubbins frowns. This is- yeah, this is totally important stuff, right here. The kobolds are most likely strategizing... stuff. Important stuff. World-conquering stuff! Stuff that Boss Bawss Fistboss needs to know, 'cause he's gonna help the dwarves not get krumped by the kobolds! And that means Gubbins can't hold back, not any longer.About fifteen seconds later, one of the kobolds on guard duty pauses in his patrol, staring at one of the stalagmites near the cavern entrance. The reptilian humanoid immediately tenses up as he sees movement, his tailing lashing once, twice as he reaches for his combat knife. The unspoken signal alerts his squadmate, and they both sneak over to the disturbance.Immediately, the stalagmite, age-old rock formed by mineral deposits over impossibly long periods of time, suddenly becomes as fluid as putty, morphing as if molded by some invisible artist's hands. It ignores the sudden hisses from the kobolds or their drawn weapons, gradually turning into-There's a long, drawn-out moment of silence as the kobolds stare at the stalagmite's final, slightly jiggly form. And then they stare at each other. Eventually, one of the kobolds breaks the silence."... so... is this one of the things we're supposed to get the squadron leader for?"The second kobold scratches his head. "Hell if I know. Still, THIS sure as hell can't be 'just as planned,' can it?""I know, I know. But-"The reshaped stalagmite suddenly chuckles, startling both guards. "Hehehe. Hehehe, you said- you said 'butt.' Ehehehe-""Zz'gha," the second kobold growls. "It's a goddamn talking /butt/-""Eheheheh-""- shaped out of rock. If this doesn't require his attention, I don't know WHAT the fuck does. I'm gonna go get him, you stay here."(Cont.)
>>30533680The first guard's eyes widen, and he shakes his head frantically. "What!? Hell no, you're not leaving me alone with this... this thing!""But-""EHEHEHE-"A larger kobold stomps out toward the guards, his lips pulled back in a silent snarl. "ALRIGHT, what's all this racket about!? Zz'gha, Vv'awk, you'd better have one hell of an explanation for this! You're going to bring the mountain down around us in no time!""S-Sir!" Both guards squeak and salute. "It's this- this thing, it's- sir, it's a talking rock butt-""EHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHE YOU SAID BUUUUTT-""Goddamn, I don't care what your pet THING is, you're shutting it up right now, you hear me??""But sir-""BUUUUUUTTSSSSS-"... back in the cave, Gubbins quietly fists-pumps to himself as most of the kobolds start looking over toward the entrance, some of them abandoning their posts to peer out at the magic phenomenon. Eyes still glowing yellow, he quickly tiptoes over toward those few groups that are still talking among themselves...[A] [SERIOUS] Peek in on the group of robed kobolds clustered around a table, examining various documents. They look pretty smart, maybe they're planning something.[B] [ANGRY] Listen in on the armored, heavyset kobolds preparing themselves for a fight, gossiping among themselves. They look like they got their ears to the ground.[C] [FURTIVE] See what's going on with the group of lightly-armored kobolds whispering among themselves, flipping through various tomes. They look suspicious, maybe they know something you don't.[D] [WRITE-IN]
Rolled 94>>30533705Carve out a chamber below you, form some tunnels and listen to all three at once!
Rolled 70>>30533705[A]! Super SERIOUS!
>>30533705>[C] [FURTIVE] See what's going on with the group of lightly-armored kobolds whispering among themselves, flipping through various tomes. They look suspicious, maybe they know something you don't.Tomes = MagicMagic = GoodGood = ...Good, right?
>>30533740OOOh this sounds just right!
Rolled 96>>30533780The best part is, because it involves geomancy, it gets +30 :D
Rolled 37>>30533705Have the butt ask the leader what milk is.
>>30533705>[C] [FURTIVE] See what's going on with the group of lightly-armored kobolds whispering among themselves, flipping through various tomes. They look suspicious, maybe they know something you don't.MAGIC TOME GET
>>30533740The 90's have it.>>30533801Also, of course, This.
Rolled 94>>30533793>>The time has come.
>>30533824>94, 96, 94How.
Rolled 55>>30533824>And so have I[
>>30533793>>30533824The path is clear
Rolled 35>>30533847Nanomachines, son
>>30533801Oh dear god.Yes.
>>30533705>90s, 90s everywhere, jesus christOkay, it looks like the consensus is:>[DIG-DUG] Carve out tunnels underneath all three groups and listen in to all of them at once!>[OIWOTSMILK]>***STUPID LUCKY TIME?***ROLL d100! (dice+1d100 in the email field)>taking the best 1 out of 3!
Rolled 62>>30533958LETS GO
>>30533873Well, DAQ is up... Maybe the rectal nanobots conversation came here?
Rolled 71>>30533985Well damn.
Rolled 26>>30533958IT'S OGRE
Rolled 5>>30534006>>30533967>>62>>26>>It has begun...?Might be too far down there though :/
All these wasted rolls. Christ.
Rolled 6>>30534026>>30534037However this turns out, it'll be entertaining.
Um. Blorp. You didn't die on us, did you?
>>30534725>>30534787too much luck?
Rolled 68>>30534859All those 90s I threw around overloaded his proccessors.
>>30533680>>30533705>>30533958>[X] [DIG-DUG] Carve out tunnels underneath all three groups and listen in to all of them at once!>75(+30) - ... WELL THENGubbins doesn't even pause to THINK about which group he should listen to. Seriously, he is a master mage of the ground, time, and also gibbering images of butts that also happen to heal things! Why's he gotta be bound down by logic and rational decision-making, huh? He's got enough sparkly cool magics to get ALL the information, enough to make Boss Bawss Fistboss sit down with his chin on his hand and do that awesome thing where he thinks of things and the consequences of things! It'll be absolutely amazing!Once again, his eyes begin glowing a brilliant golden shade as he quietly becomes one with the ground underneath his feet, sinking into the rocky cavern floor as if it were quicksand. Once he's cocooned within the earth's embrace, Gubbins focuses his magic and digs out small tunnels leading from his ears up into the cavern, fashioning them into hearing tubes- one near each of the three groups, close enough to hear them.After a moment's thought, he adds earthen eyes to the tips of nearby stalagmites, allowing him full vision of the ongoing conversations above him. The heavily-armored group of kobolds, clad in metal that DOESN'T look like patchwork, is the easiest to hear, their voices gruffer and lower than those of their brethren."- don't know what's coming to 'em. Almost enough to make you feel sorry for 'em, huh?""Almost." The other soldier flicks his tail. "Don't get cocky, though. We got lucky with the humans. Groundlings know tunnels and warrens like the back of their grubby hands, so they'll come out swinging and hollering.""Hah! No wonder we're going all scorched earth on 'em. Trap elementals, dimension rifts, railroading- the works."(Cont.)
>>30535052The soldier's eyes seem to sparkle. "And then we're gonna space 'em?"There's a nod in response. "And then we're gonna space 'em."Their conversation fades into silent muttering and weapons-sharpening, so Gubbins focuses on the next group. The whispers of the robed kobolds filter into his ears next..."- this quadrant, then the next one," the speaker intones, jabbing a clawed finger at the parchment in the center of the table. "We'll pass over the ones we can't warp warrens into.""An initial bombardment of spacing? Good call. What of quadrant 356's throne room? We can't just space THAT, that would remove the whole point."A third robed kobold raises one hand. "Might I suggest Squad Dracolich for that?""I just said, we can't warp soldiers directly into those rooms.""Just put them in the adjacent warrens." A claw is jabbed into the parchment again. "This squad, they're VERY good at shock and awe.""Good. We need those tomes at all costs... Just As Planned, gentlemen."The entire group pauses to murmur as one, "Just As Planned."Down in his earthen cocoon, Gubbins frowns in confusion. He understood, like, maybe half of what they were saying. Still, he commits it to memory the best he can, before turning to the final group of kobolds dressed in patchy leather armor, huddled over what appear to be books of some kind...(Cont.)
>>30535066"Gods above. Look at that... that! Are they really doing that!?""S-So lewd I'm gonna explode!"Gubbins frowns and accesses the earthen eye closest to these kobolds. Their books seem to be filled with strange crude drawings of... extremely stylized kobolds, drawn so that their edges are rounded and adorable, with nary a scale or fanged tooth in sight."M-Moai!""Shhh! Squad leader's right outside, he'll take this away!""Why is Hs'sna-tan such the best girl?">"hs'sna-tan best girl">"not kz'zan""Say that to my snout, fucker-""Guys, calm down, you're both wrong, Gha'zgh is the best-"Gubbins closes the ear-tube as the conversation quickly dissolves into angry bickering and tail-pulling. He crosses his arms and frowns, trying to figure out his next step- oh. Right.(Cont.)
>>30535110Back outside, the kobold commander and his two guards stop trying to kick the animate rocky butt to death when it suddenly forms a mouth on one buttcheek and pipes up in a surprisingly deep voice."OI! WOT'S MILK???"The three decidedly non-mammalian kobolds look at each other, blinking in confusion. One of the guards is the first to speak up."Um... isn't it, like, that horrible things humans do to feed-""Wrong, soldier!" The commander snarls. "It's the most dreaded torture tactic the elves have to date! They grab your snout, then they start peeling off each scale bit by bit, and-""But that's-""EHEHEHEHHEHHEHE-""Oh my GODS, will SOMEONE shut this thing up?!" Gubbins sighs in disappointment as the kobolds finally succeed in destroying the talking butt statue. Looks like he wasn't able to get the information he needed, not this time. The ogre doesn't have THAT much magic juice left in him, he's not entirely sure how much more he can dawdle through time without, you know. Things happening to him. Or to the universe.Now, what should he do with the other non-milk information...? [A] [HOME] Gubbins' done what he could back in time. Boss Bawss Fistboss needs to know what he learned![B] [WARP] Gubbins hasn't mapped out the dwarflands yet! His mission is not complete until he does that much, at least![C] [SABOTAGE] Gubbins could totally just ruin these kobolds' days while he's here, even though they haven't attacked anything yet![D] [WRITE-IN!]
Rolled 12>>30535132Warp the entire cavern home.
>>30535132>[D] [WRITE-IN!]Snag that commander. He sounds like he knows what milk is, maybe he can help with getting some for the ride back home.>[B] [WARP] Gubbins hasn't mapped out the dwarflands yet! His mission is not complete until he does that much, at least!
>>30535132[B] [WARP] Gubbins hasn't mapped out the dwarflands yet! His mission is not complete until he does that much, at least!
>>30535132[B] [WARP]We have a job to do, after al
>>30535155I approve of this action and would like to support it.
Rolled 25>>30535155Annendum: And then go map the dwarflands.
Rolled 22>>30535132>>30535132Encase the commander in rock and bring him to us. He has some semblance of what milk is. We can interrogate him with butts at our leisure later.
>>30535132>[B] [WARP] Gubbins hasn't mapped out the dwarflands yet! His mission is not complete until he does that much, at least!
>>30535132Warm the entire cave system home
>>30535132>D/BWe need to map out those Dwarflands.Of course, we could always just tell the dwarves about this plan, tell them what areas aren't warpable and will therefore be good places to hole up, and ask as a reward a comprehensive map of the Dwarflands and some milk.Even if they don't believe us until too late that reward's cheap enough to do and hey, it might help them.
Rolled 50>>30535155We have that sphere Oiwhatsmilk gave us, right? Might be the time to see what it does.
Ok, so we do >>30535155 but we keep the commander with us for shits and giggles like >>30535180 said.
>>30535273I can dig it. Seconding.
>>30535110>"Gods above. Look at that... that! Are they really doing that!?">"S-So lewd I'm gonna explode!">Gubbins frowns and accesses the earthen eye closest to these kobolds. Their books seem to be filled with strange crude drawings of... extremely stylized kobolds, drawn so that their edges are rounded and adorable, with nary a scale or fanged tooth in sight.>"M-Moai!">"Shhh! Squad leader's right outside, he'll take this away!">"Why is Hs'sna-tan such the best girl?">>"hs'sna-tan best girl">>"not kz'zan">"Say that to my snout, fucker-"Despite being slaughtered by the hundreds, despite being exiled to a realm beyond space and time, the Kobolds have managed to progress their culture to involve cheap mass entertainment in the form of manga and inspire neckbearded soldiers.Truly a progressive society.
ALRIGHT, by a landslide, it looks like the consensus is:>Warp the entire cavern home, keep the commander with us, and THEN go map out the dwarflands.GODS SAVE US, EVERY ONE.>***STUPID LUCKY TIME?***ROLL d100! (dice+1d100 in the email field)>taking the best 1 of 3 rolls!
Rolled 61>>30535562Nat 1 time
Rolled 92>>30535562FOR DERP
Rolled 77>>30535562This is going to end in tears
Rolled 35>>30535562Boom goes the dynamite!
Rolled 62>>30535562FOR STUPID
Rolled 80>>30535562Damn, I'm late.
Rolled 16>>30535583awwwwwww yeah
Rolled 3>>30535577>>30535583Stupid lucky and successful!
>>30535577>>30535583DERP DERP DERPA DERP DEH DEE DERPA DOO
>>30535583Ogre!>>30535584Since I think spatial translocation magic fall under Geomancy for Gubbins, we almost had an unnatural double. Shucks.
>>30535583>>30535577>This is going to end in tearswellwhen you roll like THAT on a course of action like THISespecially when this probably also opens up HORRIBLE TIME PARADOXES
>>30535638THE OGRE TRAIN HAS NO BREAKS!
Rolled 33>>30535638>time paradox>when there's an active portal that revives dead elvesYeah, we've already crossed that wall and are knocking on the fifth wall at this point.What could possibly go wrong?
>>30535638We just made so they couldn't have made the dwarf lands disappear in the first place, didn't we?
>>30535661>>30535683You two are making it worse!Or better?
Rolled 88>>30535776:D>ensure sedeieam i the fairy
Blorp, I wanted to tell you: this is the motherfucking best quest ever. It's even better than Anal Prolapse Quest.
Rolled 53>>30535859>Anal Prolapse Quest was 2 years agoI went into that thread without reading the opening post. I saw spaceships, figured it was a dump.Boy how wrong I was.
>>30535935>I figured it was a dump.>Boy how wrong I was.Well, you weren't ENTIRELY wrong
>>30535638>HORRIBLE TIME PARADOXES>OgresNot seeing the problem, man. What, you think reality needs to follow logic and reason?Because we already suplex'd that train, man.
In case anyone is interested...
>>30535132>>30535562>[X] [FUCK EVERYTHING] Warp the entire cave home, kidnap the commander, map the dwarflands, go go go go go!!>92>77>why thisWell, Boss Bawss needs this information. Like, REALLY needs this information. And Gubbins is completely uninhibited in many respects, but he knows enough to realize that his mind probably isn't the sharpest crayon in the lighthouse. Probably less so, given how much magic he pumps through it on a regular basis. So Gubbins isn't sure exactly how much of all these conversations he can remember, ESPECIALLY when he's already racking his brain meats to figure out this whole milk thing.It's only a short while later that the shorter ogre's eyes brighten up as he comes up with the most PERFECT plan ever.Each and every kobold currently working in the cavern- and those returning from their short-lived viewing of The Butt That Talked- nearly jump right out of their scales when an ogre pulls itself out of the ground like some sort of big, blue, horrifying mole. The finely-trained warrior kobolds quickly pull their weapons, and within moments, Gubbins is surrounded by a circle of gleaming metal and/or magic staves."I don't know where you came from or why you're here, ogre, but you'd best stand down before you find yourself full of new breathing holes," the kobold commander snarls. "Now stand down!"Gubbins frowns as he takes this in. "... nah. No thanks, I got 'nuff breathin' holes as it is." He taps his nose for emphasis, showing off his two big nostrils. "So anyway, you know all dat stuff you said 'bout plans an' spacin' and killin' and cute koboldy things? You think you could repeat 'em if asked?"The commander's eye ridge twitches. "Not to the likes of you, ogre!""You will?? Great!" Gubbins claps his hands together cheerfully. "I got a LOTTA friends back home who'd be totally happy to hear dat! Shazam!""Wait, wha-"(Cont.)
>>30536494As usual for these sorts of mornings, Celicia crawls up to a sitting position and stares blearily into nothingness, waiting for her brain to finish booting up. After a few minutes of spacing out, she swings herself up out of bed to stand at her window, peering out from Daphnaia's boughs into the desert below. The most coherent thought in her mind right now is basically "thank fucking god the ogres pulled Ogir Place to a standing position (and by extension, Daphnaia)." It had been absolute murder to try sleeping in a bed perpendicular to the ground, and-Celicia blinks as, a few feet from Ogir Place's big stone feet, a giant round rock falls screaming right out of the sky, the chorus of LITERAL screams cutting off as they land right on the desert sands. She leans against the windowsill and watches with a detached sort of interest as dozens of kobolds shakily leave the rock, some falling to their knees to empty out their meals, others catching sight of the huge oasis-golem and screaming back into their upended cave.A few moments after THAT, she watches as dozens of ogres pour out of Ogir Place, all of them running right toward the kobolds while bellowing "HURRAH! NEW FRIENDS!" at the top of their lungs, eliciting another round of horrified screams from the unfortunate kobolds.Celicia goes to pour herself her usual morning alcohol mixture, fully intent on watching the outcome of this little incident. Nowadays, there's ALWAYS something interesting to watch on Saturday mornings.(Cont.)
>>30536517Back in a slightly more theoretical plane of existence, Gubbins grasps the unfortunate kobold commander in a friendly chokehold as they float through the reality rift opened up by the geomancer. "... an' I'll call you George an' you're gonna be a real good friend!""eeeee," the kobold commander manages as his face turns purple."But first... we're gonna map out da dwarflands! This'll be our first mission together!""eeeeee!?""Ahaha, yeah, we're gonna be da BEST of pals. And we're here!"The kobold's eyes bug out even further as Gubbins deposits them right in the midst of the dwarven capital, standing in front of a small shop stall (the owner of which promptly drops his freshly-hewn dwarven bread, which falls with enough mass and speed to shatter the stone floor)."I would like one map of da entire dorflands, please," Gubbins says cheerfully.The dwarf gulps. Slowly, he reaches out and hands a rolled up parchment over, making no sudden moves. "Er... 'kay, lad. Here ya go. Now don't-" "Aw, yeah! Thanks a bunch!" Gubbins sniffs the parchment and nods, looking pleased. "Yup, dat's a map, alright. Here's yer payment!"Moments later, the unfortunate dwarf merchant stands alone in his stall, turning an unfortunate shade of green due to the large bag of steaming fresh ogre currency clutched in his hands.(Cont.)
>>30536517Oh god, this was worth staying up for.
>>30536536Moments after THAT, Celicia nearly spittakes her drink when Gubbins appears right in her room, though she lowers her rifle once she realizes that it's just him. "Gubbins? Where have you BEEN, it's-""Map!" the geomancer crows triumphantly, thrusting it into Celicia's hands."E-Er, okay, but-""Important kobold guy!" he continues doggedly, thrusting the half-conscious commander into Celicia's hands."W-What!? Gubbins, where-""Sleep!" Gubbins finishes, going from upright and lucid to prone and snoring in the blink of an eye.Celicia stands amidst the debris of Gubbins' chaotic return, though the silence is quickly broken by the kobold commander's whimpering."... yeah, I feel you," she grumps, shoving her morning alcohol over to the commander (who accepts it gratefully, chugs it all down, and then collapses in a weeping heap of almost-terminally-confused kobold).(Cont. for status report and Civ bits in a few minutes!)
>>30536536That poor dwarf merchant.
>>30536536HE FORGOT THE MILK!
Rolled 13>>30536536My sides have reached terminal velocity.
>>30536564Mine have long since stopped existing on this plane.
>>30536560>>30536556>ADDENDUM:Meanwhile, back in the dwarflands of the past, the dwarf merchant nearly retches when he FINALLY saw the contents of the ogre's payment to him, and is very nearly about to go and dispose of it in some form when he realizes that he is, once again, NOT alone in his shop."MILK!" Gubbins barks out, still half-asleep."H-Here you go!" The dwarf merchant all but throws the bottle of milk at the ogre, trying to hide behind himself and failing. "Please, lad, just don't give me no more of that-"Moments later, the ogre is nowhere to be seen, and the dwarf merchant is kneeling on the floor, weeping into his hands as he's sandwiched between two rather large bags of ogre poop.>MILK GET!>Continued in a few moments for civ bits!
>>30536560My fucking sides. Oh god why did you
>>30536634It took me >>30536641 this long to stop laughing and read your post. Well played OP!
Rolled 99>>30536634SIDES OF PERPETUAL MOTION ATTAINED!
Rolled 30>>30536697The end of days are upon us, for truly no sides can withstand this punishment.
Rolled 26>>30536712MY SIDES BLINKED OUT OF EXISTENCE! C'MON OGRE ROLL TO GET GUBBIN'S TO DELIVER ME MY SIDES! HELP ME IN THIS TASK!
Rolled 50>>30536769NEED MY SIDES HERE! GUBBINS?
Rolled 53>>30536784>>30536769OH, THERE YOU ARE GUBBINS! THANKS FOR ME SIDES!>Captcha: typsop maps
>>30536769>>30536784TWO 50'S! YOU'RE SITTING ON TOP OF THEM!THEY WERE ALWAYS THERE!
Rolled 74>>30536810Together we are the 100.
>>30536634I have no fucking clue what this is.But reading it. I am now a fan. Going read the archive.
>>30536556>>30536634>STATUS REPORT:On the plus side, it's not going to take very long to repair Ogir Place at all, not with the new methods that the ogres have ingeniously discovered! The oasis golem's legs are already repaired, and the arms and everything else should come along shortly.Gubbins' mission was also a success- he found valuable information on the dwarflands' geographical stats, which will totally be used to save maliciously-destroyed dwarflands. He even went into the past and brought back an entire cabal of evil kobolds who were dead set on... maliciously destroying the dwarflands.Needless to say, the aftereffects of Gubbins' little jaunt into time may be a little more far-reaching than anyone could predict.Now, onto more news: Boss Bawss Fistboss should be waking up shortly! He no longer looks so pallid and kinda-deadish, but now there's credence to the ogres' insistence that he was just sleeping it off!And almost as if to celebrate this fact, the mountains to the far west of the Scaratone Hives appear to be moving to farther westward, as if they just happened to grow legs and start walking! Also, the sun appears to be turning an angry shade of purple.That's... that's all totally normal, right...?(Cont.)
>>30536802You fool, you'll never get your sides back.Don''t you understand?Ogres have no textile works, their only clothes are rock and dead critter hats.So where do they get the sacks their currency comes in?Hint: It's our sides. It's always been our sides.
Rolled 27>>30536847But Gubbins just handed me my sides because of Ogre. And they're clean.
Rolled 89>>30536844Yay, I altered the timeline.
>>30536844oh noes, our new opponent is Bizarro Bawzz! (who is actually just Bawss, but purple) bent on protecting his ogres from more timeline editing!
>>30536844--------------------------------------**CHOOSE TWO (2) STRATEGY ACTIONS, AND...**--------------------------------------[A1] [REPAIR FLIGHT & WEAPONS] Ogir Place being able to fly and defend itself WOULD be nice![B1] [REPAIR STRUCTURE] Ogir Place would certainly enjoy not looking like Swiss cheese, too![C1] [AWAKEN BAWSS] Just a little bit more, and Boss Bawss Fistboss will wake up! (Or he'll just wake up next turn).[D1] [TECH UP] Inventions![E1] [MAGIC UP] Magic... ventions![F1] [WRITE-IN] Wot do?--------------------------------------**... AND CHOOSE TWO (2) EVENT ACTIONS!**--------------------------------------[A2] [SCARATONES] Check up on Queen Kilkkarak! The ogres' oldest allies might know something about what's going on.[B2] [DWARVES] Check up on Lockstock and his crew. Their morale might be a little... confused, after all that (hasn't/has) happened...?[C2] [MOUNTAINS] Walking mountains! Hurrah! Let's go check 'em out![D2] [KOBOLDS] Interrogate the prisoners- both groups of them![E2] [SUN] Dawn of the Purple Day. 72 Hours Remain. Naah, I'm just messin' with ya.[F2] [OIWOTSMILK] Bring the teachings of the great self-frying chicken to the masses of Patchwings and skeletons! (And whoever else will listen!)--------------------------------------
>>30536952Nah, it's Sswab Orrazib, Time Orge Orgeordinaire!
Rolled 71>>30537000B1 D1 Combo!B2 F2
>>30536844Yeah, don't worry 'bout that.OI! YOU UP THERE! I AIN'T HAVIN' NONE O' THAT CHEEK! GET YOUR SHIT TOGETHER OR I'M COMING UP THERE!(sun goes back to normal)THAT'S WHAT I THOUGHT!Better?
>>30537000B1, C1 and A2, and D2. I'd like Boss to be up and about to help with the interrogatings.
>>30537000C1!B1!A2!E2 BECAUSEFUCKYOUMOON, I CAN SEE WHAT YOU'RE DOING! C-Right, A, C-Down, C-Right, A, C-Down!
>>30537000THE EGG THING WE GOT FROM OIWHATSMILK
>>30537000>[A1] [REPAIR FLIGHT & WEAPONS]>[E1] [MAGIC UP] (Climate Control to turn the sun sunny again!)>[B2] [DWARVES]>[F2] [OIWOTSMILK] Bring the teachings of the great self-frying chicken to the masses of Patchwings and skeletons! (And whoever else will listen!)
>>30537000[C1] [AWAKEN BAWSS] Just a little bit more, and Boss Bawss Fistboss will wake up! (Or he'll just wake up next turn).[E1] [MAGIC UP] Magic... ventions!Let's invent Notcromancy, the logical inverse of Necromancy![B2] [DWARVES] Check up on Lockstock and his crew. Their morale might be a little... confused, after all that (hasn't/has) happened...?[D2] [KOBOLDS] Interrogate the prisoners- both groups of them!
>>30537000a1 d1a1 d2
>>30537000[A1] [C1] [A2] [D2]If it's possible to get bawss up before the two event actions, do so, if not, then [A1] [D1] [B2] and [F2]
>>30537071>Let's invent Notcromancy, the logical inverse of Necromancy!...I will support this.
>>30537000didn't our roll to repair the holes succeed? cause we totally chose that as our second strategy action last round
>>30537105Nah, the winning second choice ended up being REPAIR REPAIRS.
>>30537000A1, C1A2, F2
>>30537072>>30537071changing my d1 to an e1 in support of this
>>30537000A1 B1D2 F2
>>30537144The Ogre repairs made things better instead of "legit" in the "highly questionable" sense.
>>30537000Strategy: A1D1Event: C2F2
>>30537144We had to learn how to repair things the Ogre way!
>>30537071>>30537053I'm willing to change a vote from [C1]Waking up Bawss to [E1]Notcromancy.
Alright, going to wait five more minutes for more votes to come in!
>>30537071I'm all for Notcromancy!
Rolled 9>>30537000A1, E1 Notcromancy, E2, F2
>>30537000Alright, it looks like the winning votes were:Strategy Actions:>[A1] [REPAIR FLIGHT & WEAPONS]>[B1] [REPAIR STRUCTURE]Event Actions:>[A2] [VISIT SCARATONES]>[F2] [GOSPEL OF OIWOTSMILK]And so, it's time to roll for the STRATEGY ACTIONS!>***STUPID LUCKY TIME?***ROLL d100! (dice+1d100 in the email field)>taking the best 2 out of 4 rolls!
Rolled 62>>30537396WOT WOT
Rolled 61>>30537396Ogre T->>30537420Brings tears to my eyes.
>>30537420HA HAH!My turn to break blorp
>>30537420>1>LUCKY STUPID>for flight and weapons>FLIGHT>AND>WEAPONS
Rolled 62>>30537485Like I said. Brings tears to my eyes.
>>30537485Do we get a hyper beam now?
Rolled 9>>30537485Ogre Place farts to fly now.And fight.
>>30537420>>30537485I think the ogres just forgot Ogir Place could fly and it just rips space apart until they get to their destination.
>>30537485What's we do, plug up the holes in Ogir Place with pieces from Bawss's mech armor?
>>30537485so what were you doing over the four month break? piecing your mind together again, running a different quest, doing exams, having a life
>>30537542>piecing your mind together againyes
Rolled 76>>30537485They put the FLIGHT on the WEAPONS didnt they?We have BITS or FUNNELS now?
>>30537584Need more superglue?
>>30537595No, the put weapons in the flight. We now have to shoot things I order to go places.
Rolled 52>>30537617That'll be a problem, we'll never stop.
>>30537485No more dreamsOnly tears
No, no, no, we fly with the weapons and we attack with the wings. Simple.
>>30537636>never stop>problemIndividually those words make sense, but taken together they're utter nonsense.
>>30537485I hate offering this, but if you want to hit the pause button for the night I won't think less of you OP.
>>30537735But we haven't finished destroying his mind.
>>30537485THE RETURN OF THAT GUY!I hope no one forgot That Guy.
>>30537396>>30537000>[X] [REPAIR FLIGHT & WEAPONS]>[X] [REPAIR STRUCTURE]>1 - Lucky Stupid!>89 - Successful!The ogres have gotten a bit more used to working without the guidance of Boss Bawss Fistboss, who would normally prevent them from doing utterly stupid things (or, perhaps more accurately, funnel those utterly stupid things into works of pure and unintentional genius). The repairs to Ogir Place continue unabated, and its non-ogre inhabitants quickly got used to the constant, all-pervading sound of "ONE, TWO, LOTS" followed by dozens of stones cracking against each other.Perhaps unsurprisingly, the structural integrity of Ogir Place gets fixed VERY quickly. After all, it's just a matter of making stone grow back to its normal, unbroken state and size, right? Because that's totally how stone works. Utterly confident in their logical view of how (they think) the world works, the ogres soon make Ogir Place as whole and pristine(?) as it used to be.Then, of course, comes the hard part.Today, the ogre in charge of repairs stares up at Ogir Place, which stands as tall and proud as it ever did. The only catch? The deactivated weapons aren't working. Like, at all. And the oasis-golem can't even manage to hover more than a few feet off the ground; it's as if the Flightstone veins within are broken, somehow.The ogre shakes his head, dismissing his worries and turning his frown upside-down as he faces the assembled ogre repair crews. "A-Alright, boys," he rumbles. "We're gonna start fixin' da place again, like we always do. Okay? Okay. So onna count of 'lots', we're all gonna hit our rocks together, okay? Okay. Here we go-""WAAAAAAAIT!"(Cont.)
>>30538457Every ogre's head turns to watch as Gubbins jogs down from Ogir Place. "I GOT IT," the geomancer crows. "I know wot's wrong with Ogir Place's flyin' stuff! It's not Ogir Place dat's broken!"The repair crew leader blinks, scrunching his face up in confused thought. "It... it ain't? But if Ogir Place's flyin' stuff ain't broken-""Yeah! Dat's exactly it!" Gubbins cracks his knuckles. "It's not Ogir Place dat's broken..."* * *"... Lockstock?"The dwarven prince pulls himself out of the bowels of his team's giant drill machine, wiping the sweat off his brow before replying to Celicia. "Aye, lass?""I need a second opinion." Celicia points over to Ogir Place's feet. "What the hell are they doing?"Lockstock squints out into the desert, watching as literally every ogre living in Ogir Place roars and yells as they run helter-skelter, slamming any weapon they can find at something close to the ground. "Well, if you asked ME, lass, it kinda looks like the lads are chasin' after some manner of intangible concept that shouldn't actually be able to be beaten to death.""And?""And they're winnin'. Pretty handily, at that."Celicia pinches the bridge of her nose. "... thank you, Lockstock. I think I'll- oh gods," she shrieks as she suddenly begins floating up into the air, unable to find any purchase in the ground."Looks like they won," Lockstock grunts, hanging onto his machine as the entire thing begins floating up into the air. "How 'bout that?""GODDAMMIT!" Celicia bellows out at the ogres, shaking her fist into the air. "WE NEEDED THAT GRAVITY, YOU GUYS!"Gubbins briefly stops punching an invisible law-of-physics-that-may-or-may-not-be-punchable-right-now. "Don't worry! We're just comin' to an agreement! It'll come around soon enough!"(cont.)
>>30538478>as she suddenly begins floating up into the airHAHAHAHA! OGRES!
Rolled 81>>30538478I have tears in my eyes from laughing so hard. Fuck you.
>>30538478Five minutes later, gravity skulks away with its tail between its legs, thankful that it managed to retain its hold over most everything else in the universe; behind it, Ogir Place hovers serenely above the sands, finally free from the oppressive tyranny of physics and logic. "Great!" Gubbins rubs his hands together, his eyes gleaming only slightly sanely. "Wot's next?""Er... weapons an' stuff, boss," the repair crew leader replies calmly."Alright, done an' done! Let's just fix da Sandstorm Drill an' da Magmastorm Drill!"All ogres in earshot have to pause for a moment to consider that. "... 'ere, I thought we only had one drill, did you just say-"Gubbins' eyes are already golden. "CAN'T TALK, BUSY MAGICKING!" he howls, ridiculous amounts of magical energy coursing through his shorter body. Immediately, the winds pick up as the entire force of the Scouring Wastes' storms are once again lashed down to Ogir Place's right hand. And a towering inferno bursts out from the bowels of the earth to wrap itself around the oasis-golem's other hand, defying the laws of convection as it bubbles and boils mere inches away from the living areas on top of Ogir Place.The repair crew leader grins uncertainly. "Gee, boss, dat looks really-""RUOUMOKO!" Gubbins stomps one foot against the ground, summoning one of the many demigods of earth and/or lava. Another minor eruption shakes the immediate area as a humanoid shaped from magma oozes out of the ground, nursing a divine icepack to his head as he groans.[Goddammit, it's you guys again,] Ruoumoko groans, squinting blearily at the ogres assembled around him. [C'mon, man, piss off, it's only been like a day or so, I still got the biggest fucking hangover. You won't BELIEVE the party the other demigods threw for me-]"You're moving in!" Gubbins says cheerfully.There's a beat. [... where?](Cont.)
>>30538508>"You're moving in!" Gubbins says cheerfully.A live-in demigod! How convenient!
>>30538508The shorter ogre points to the empty chest cavity of Ogir Place, where an angry and rather unfortunate demon lord was once imprisoned. "In there!"Ruoumoko shoots Gubbins a look. [Really? You want me to- what the hell's in it for me?]Gubbins crosses his arms. And then he gives the demigod a huge shit-eating grin, waggling his eyebrows.Later that day, a truly titanic stone spider stomps over the horizon, its body shining a baleful yellow as it catches the (purple?) sun. "Foolish brute-warriors!" the crackling, mildly-insane voice within bellows. "Did you honestly think you could rid yourself of me so easily? It is I, the Yellow Ant! I have come for a rematch against you, vile allies of those mewling Scaratones!"The golem's eight legs slam into the ground with enough force to split the very earth itself; the Yellow Ant skillfully pilots the massive construction to stand in front of Ogir Place, preparing to unleash hell upon the defenseless, comparatively tiny ogres within. "Which of you dares to fight the Prophet of the Formichroma, and pave the path to our rightful destiny as rulers of-"The Yellow Ant's soliloquy is rudely interrupted by a lightning-fast punch to the face, despite the fact that Ogir Place has not moved one inch. The spider golem staggers back, looking around in fury for its phantom attacker. "What!? Where are you, coward? Show your... self..."(Cont.)
>>30538508I just, I just want to show Ruoumoko the orb Gubbins got from Oiwhatsmilk.Dude's an Earth demigod with some fire control. He probably knows whats' up.
>>30538478Grubbing is the best Mage.
>>30538534Dude, friendship comes after crumping (usually). Don't you know that?
>>30538534A gigantic red shadow looms above and behind Ogir Place, which leans back and places one massive hand on its hip. Completely relaxed, the oasis-golem lazily raises its other arm and snaps its gigantic fingers together, with the sound of boulder cracking against boulder.Ruoumoko, larger than any demigod has any right to be, incorporeal and yet violently corporeal at once, immediately launches himself into an amazingly fast flurry of punches, bellowing one continuous warcry at the top of his lungs as he smashes the golem to pieces before the Yellow Ant can so much as blink."ORAORAORAORAORA- ORAAA!"The demigod ends it with an uppercut, the golem flying apart into its component parts with a thunderous CRACK. As the essence of the Yellow Ant once again evaporates into thin air, Ruoumoko crosses his arms, savoring the inexplicable power flowing through his body.[... yeah. That'll do.]>Ogir Place's structural integrity repaired!>Ogir Place's flight restored because the ogres beat the shit out of gravity!>Ogir Place's weapons re... paired...?>SANDSTORM DRILL repaired!>MAGMASTORM DRILL created! Because who needs shields when you have another weapon?>RUOUMOKO infused into Ogir Place!>HA HA HA TIME FOR A BIZARRE ADVENTURE!(TO BE CONTINUED NEXT THREAD)
>>30538580Oh my fuck. We just gave Ogir Place a Stand.
Rolled 59>>30538580It's beautiful.
>>30538580It's only fitting
>>30538580ALRIGHT, it's later than it has any right to be and my brain is shutting down, so I'm going to end the thread here and go off to bed.Thanks for participating, you guys (with your crazy-ass write-ins and suggestions and rolls, jesus h. christ), and I hope you enjoyed this thread!Gonna tentatively try for a thread this SUNDAY, 3/2, at around the same time. Updates will be at https://twitter.com/BlorpQuest , just in case I have to reschedule or something. See you 'round!
>>30538633You were brilliant Blorp! Absolutely brilliant!
>>30538633Thanks for running man! Always a fun read.
Rolled 72>>30538580I... I think... I think I finally know how Eric Cartman felt. When he saw the couple with buts for faces.He saw something so funny, nothing could make him laugh afterwards. And so it is here.
>>30538633Oh god, I really wish I had remembered to check in today. I have to get back into the rhythm of checking for these threads again. It's so much more fun experiencing OGRES live with everyone else.
>>30538580So let me get this straight, Ruoumoko moved into Ogir Place for MOAR POWER? As good a reason for any demigod to do anything, I suppose.
>>30538633thanks for everything, Blorp. You're awesome.
>>30538534>The shorter ogre points to the empty chest cavity of Ogir Place, where an angry and rather unfortunate demon lord was once imprisoned.I was confused for a bit before I remembered Fluffy.I wonder if he's dead or doing alright.
>>30538580http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uints81YYMcThis better be the theme the next time we engage in a kaiju brawl with something.
>>30539023Pretty sure this fits what happened better.http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=H7hiF7fXhLg
You know, I feel like, as a lava demigod, Ruoumoko would be very interested in any snatches of lore related to Oiwatsmilk. You know. Being the primordial fire diety, Ruoumoko would just be a derivative of the former. Seems like, if we wanna deal in divine politics, he'll be our main guy to go to.
My goodness. I can't believe this is running again. Ogre civ was the quest that got me to even come to 4chan. Just wanted to state how excited I am to see this.
>>30542636this is, by far, the best quest thread I have ever been in, thank you blorp, and keep up the great work.