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/tg/ - Traditional Games


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Intro Crap: http://pastebin.com/mzS6YN7P

You are Risa Schrodinger, and you have somehow won a tournament of some kind. It started simply enough with your group trying to enjoy a vacation in the lost, and perhaps forgotten, world of Japan. Then some guy stole your clothes in a bid to become the underwear king or something like that. One thing led to another, you made a guitar which eats people, and now you are dealing with a genie. Perfectly logical.

You look over the tall, dark skinned man in silk pants as he smiles warmly. “So tell me, what is it you want? Money? Power? I can grant all of it onto you!”

“Don’t do it. They are a tricky sort who will hurt those around you and dick you over for no other reason than their own amusement.” Caede warns from the sidelines, where you note the strange shapes of the monster girls are melting away.

“What? Like a Jeannie?” You ask tilting your head. “But he looks nothing like her!” You say pointing at the muscular man.

“I am, in fact, what is referred to as a genie but pay it no mind! I can grant you your heart’s desire if you so wish it.” He explains.

“You aren’t a Jeannie. You look nothing like her.” You protest pointing at him.

“I have never had anyone tell me that before. Wait.” He pauses narrowing his eyes. “Barbara Eden? Is that really why you don’t believe me?” He asks.

“That would be why I spelled it that way.” You say.

He stares deeply troubled at you for a few moments before sighing and shifting in a haze. Where once a man with rock hard abs and skin like mocha now stands a woman with blond hair done up in a bun and harem pants. She crosses her arms and nods her head, then that sound effect happens, then suddenly she is sitting in a rather plush chair. “Satisfied?” She asks and you tap your chin.
(1/2)
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“Okay, yeah, this checks out.” You agree fully convinced to the world shifting power.

“She will dick you!” Caede shouts once more and you note Jager puts a hand on her head.

“A lady shouldn’t say stuff like that.” She explains and Caede lets out a low pitched buzzing sound your ears can pick up easily.

"Worry not, for my daughter can speak the most foul of all language and still be more ADORABLE THAN TEN MILLION BURNING GALAXIES!" Fuego explains flexing.

"She might be right though." You say. "They did make coke taste terrible."

Mari seems to perk up as you say that. "Coke? You mean the drink? They changed the recipe to not include sugar a couple years back." She explains as Kouta shares his snacks with Zweity but not friedhelm because fuck that dude.

Seems you have a choice. You could make a wish. Say no to a wish. Or, hey. Eat the lamp.

“I thought eating the lamp was bad.” You explain glancing up. No, eating the genie is bad. No one said shit about eating that lamp.

“Fair enough.” You agree looking around the melting figures. “Let’s see, we need to fix coca cola, something about werewolves being lesbians, or we could get something else. Then again we do have a vacation to take care of.”

[] Make a Wish
[] Don’t
[] Eat that lamp.
[] Other, please specify
(2/2)
>>
What's the policy on wishing for more wishes?
>>
>>30508271
No. He will give us more chances to fuck up if we do that!
>>
>>30508006
>other
Tell her to hold still then start tickling the genie.
>>
>>30508006
Question. Is that wolfgirl Jaeger won also melting away or is she still here?
>>
>>30508338
She is melting.
>>
>>30508006
>Other
Tell him to hold off on it. We need to consult our attorney. And our future vision friend who can tell us how you would abuse whatever wish we wish for so we can reword it so you can't do that.
>>
>>30508006
[x] Do him a favour. Take him to the Angel of Lust's place. We're sure he's stressed out from granting wishes.
>>
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“Can I wish for more wishes?” You ask, intent on making use of the greatest loophole.

“You get one wish per genie in an item, to a maximum of three.” She smiles at you with the charm of a 1960s or 70s sitcom star.

“So if three genies get shoved into a lamp you lot fuse together like candy in my pocket?” You ask.

“You never use your pockets, but yes that is generally how it works.” It explains.

You attempt to tickle the genie! It’s not very effective though.

“Well, now what?” You ask looking up in your brain holder.
>>
>>30508378
Aww...
>>
>>30508285
but you can usually get around the monkey paw BS by being real fucking specific

I know Jeannie is planning to dick us over but you don't get a magic wish offered to you everyday....

maybe we wish specifically we got back the rest of our fatebreakers from the point in time from which we lost and we came back from bad future with Maximum edge ryouichi.

we just need to word the wish just so

>>30508378
pity, looks like Jager will have to settle for the naught naughty captain...when she stops being a prude.


....AW FUCK IT!
>[x] Eat that lamp.

eating stuff has never turned out bad for us yet
>>
>>30508006
[x] Take the lamp, mail it to Lucy.
>>
>>30508393
Future vision friend? You mean Akira? You left him back at home because you said he and Ryouichi were major cocks.
>>
>>30508420
hence the holding off on the wish.
>>
So I suppose the majority want to shove it in our pants for now?
>>
>>30508526
yeah I guess that's fine. we can mull over what to wish for later right?

gotta find just the right to word getting the fatebreakers back with minimum bullshit.....
>>
>>30508402
Wish that she took the place of Jaeger's now melting new wolf girl minion, giving up her genie-dom in the process.
>>
>>30508526
yup
>>
>>30508378
Second vote for eating the lamp, we have never had a bad result from eating things
>>
>>30508658
I really don't want to become a genie and spend an arc granting other people's wishes until we destroy all reality according to Lucifer's plan.
>>
>>30508412
>maybe we wish specifically we got back the rest of our fatebreakers from the point in time from which we lost and we came back from bad future with Maximum edge ryouichi.

I can see that resulting on XXX ryouichi coming back.
>>
>>30508006

"Caede! As the youngest elder god... thing... I give you this old piece of metalwork as a gift for kicking ass at my behest!!!"

give Caede lamp.
>>
>>30508412
"I wish you were ticklish!"
>>
>>30508526
yes.
>>
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You grab the lamp and shove it into inventory, the hazy image of yank sitcoms fading away into nothing as you nod satisfied. “You should not consider keeping it.” Caede warns.

“I know, I know. Death, destruction. I am sure I can outwit a genie.” You say.

“You mean a powerful being who has been around since the world was made? One of the beings sealed by the angels because they decided they having freedom would be a problem to the stupid old bastard’s plans?” She asks sighing. “That thing is a nuke, and I don’t want to be around when it goes off.” She explains.

“Relax. It will probably be fine. I have had nukes in my pants before.” You say as Caede fumes.

“Now now, don’t be like that. I am sure Risa has a plan, right?” Jager says looking expectantly at you.

“Of course I do!” Have a guy who has screwed us over in a not past and works for an unknown force in the universe with the only hint being ‘look up’ tell us if we will be screwing ourselves over by making a wish. This plan has some holes. “Shut your mouth. This plan is awesome.” You say as the world around you melts.

As your group regroups, ha, you look to Jager. “Sorry for melting your werewolf.”

“I wasn’t interested in what she was offering, so it is fine. None of this was real anyway.” She replies.

“Have you even TRIED being a lesbian?” You ask exasperated.
(1/2)
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“That isn’t how sexuality works. That isn’t even sort of how sexuality works.” She explains and you remember you have to go buy some comics while you are out and about.

“Onee-sama.” A voice calls and you see, from a pile of melted goo which were once people probably, the ice woman.

“Oh! I totally forgot about you.” You say as she crawls out.

“That man, he used some power to make me think and-“ She starts but you stop paying attention.

You leave the cave, your party in tow, however along the way you get the strangest feeling of someone watching you. You freeze and turn around at random intervals, but you see no one, you are left with just an uneasy feeling. You bring yourself back to the inn, or lodge, or whatever strange foreign word people call these places, and then make a brief venture out to a comic shop. It is staggeringly difficult to find one, but a few sonidos and potential traffic violations later and you have your weekly editions. You put them into your inventory and then sonido back, the feeling of being watched continuing to get stronger as you open the door to your room.

You ignore the feeling as you open up the door to your room. Ryoko is already in a robe thingy and drinking beer while laughing at some Japanese comedy show I refuse to translate. Mari is helping Zweity, while Sin-Fin is playing a board game with Shiba, Kouta, and Friedhelm, though it looks like she doesn’t really get it. Jager is snacking on things while giving an occasional glance outside to Fuego and Caede as they turn the rocks into more pleasing shapes(that of Fuego).

You realize that you have a chance to spend the evening with some of them and improve those social links. Or you could do something else.

[] Just read your comics. To the next day!
[] Pillow fight.
[] Hang out with someone doing something they like.
[] Other, please specify
(2/2)
>>
>>30509170
>[x] Hang out with someone doing something they like.

Ryoko, haven't hung with best scrub in forever.
>>
>>30509170

Teen Risa hangs with the teens.... or rather Ryoko, Caede & Zweity....
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>>30509206
I support this.
>>
>>30509232
Arent we like forty?
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>>30509266
just morph into a teen body
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>>30509170
[] Pillow fight.
What if we were to demand that everyone else pillow fight eachother using a shapeshifted Risa as the pillow?

I really love bullshit shapeshifting.
>>
>>30509286
So we are a young looking forty year old?
>>
Seems majority favor Ryoko? Such as it is
>>30509310
We look to be in our mid to late 20s
>>
>>30509324
>>30509310
age is a state of mind baby
>>
>>30509170
Hang out with Jaeger. We normally do things we want, how about doing what she wants?
>>
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“We have not hung out with the best scrub in a while.” You note solemnly. You mean that random teacher who fell in love with you? “What? No, Ryoko. Or Kyoko. I have a very hard time keeping anything straight.” Just like Shiba. “Ha ha. Werewolves.”

You walk over to the delinquent as she finishes another can of beer. The comedy show she is watching is fairly boring. A pair of guys in suits stand on stage and talk in a microphone. One says something stupid and then the other guy hits him. “So it’s like a proper educational system then?” You ask. Yeah.

“Sensei? What’s up?” She asks cracking open another can of that light Japanese shit.

“We don’t hang out any more. Why don’t we hang out any more?” You ask.

“We never really just ‘hung out’ though.” She says pointing and laughing at the TV as the performers rub their hands and bow like they screwed something up.

“Sure we do! Like those times I walked in on you having sex. Plus, remember when we had magical soul society adventures together? Do you want your teacher to cry? Is this bullying?” You ask patting her on the head, her blonde hair quite soft.

“Let me go! Fine! We ran out of beer anyway. Come on, we can go shopping together.” She says walking over to the sliding door. “It’s just down the road and I want to clear my head”

You leave together, your boots leaving thick heavy tracks on the ground while Ryoko’s weird sandal things leave equal sign indents. You look around the dark evening town, the artificial lights illuminating your path and your breath leaving small clouds in the air. “So, how are things?” You ask.

“Fine.” She says as you make your way to the alcohol market.
(1/2)
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“This is really good bonding.” You say happily.

“Ah, yeah sensei. What’s with you and wolf tits?” She asks as you make your way into the store.

“What do you mean?” You ask and Ryoko seems to think about what to say.

“Well, she seems to think the world of you and she acts like, I dunno, a mom or a wife or something. It’s really weird so I thought maybe there was something going on there.” She explains.

“She is my wolfu.” You respond with a knowing nod.

“And what about Ms. Gloomy? How did you come across her? Plus that sexy guy with the kid, what’s his deal?” She continues as she loads up a small basket with her alcohol of choice.

“NPCs shouldn’t be asking questions.” You grumble.

“Huh?” She asks as you take her shit beer out and start replacing it with better alcohol.

What do you say?
[] None of your business. They are just some scrubs I picked up, same as you lot.
[] Well…(Write in about them)
[] Other, please specify
(2/2)
>>
>>30509686

"Did I ever tell you of the time I lead a glorious rebellion against a corrupt hollow king? Or when I assembled a team of the Most personable Arrancars? No, well then, STORYTIEM!!!"
>>
>>30509686
We told the scrubs about our period as a soul eating monster didnt we? Maybe now is the time to regale them with stories of all our past exploits.
>>
>>30509686
>[] Well…(Write in about them)
Me and Jaeger go way back. Like scrub hollow back, three or so timelines ago. We hung out for a while, then separated when I had to go off and be tall. We met again as adjucas and teamed up again to kill the current king of the place with a spider friend of ours. She died, we killed the king and all of his men but Sin-Fin, who joined us because I gave her some crisps. THE GREAT ME challenged the new queen Jager, then I beat him up and made him join us."
>>
>>30509686
>[] Well…(Write in about them)
Well ShortFin was short and I gave her shortbread and I don't think she's eaten it. Stuff must be like 20 years old now. Anyway then the writer decided that she was too short to effectively rip her husband's heart out without needing a step-stool and making the whole ordeal look silly. She's probably just as crazy as me but in a different way that makes the whole thing sad instead of fun. She's awesome.

Fuego tried to take the throne from Jager one time so I kicked him a lot. Neither of us really went all out on it but I won anyway but he understood that the moon was bullshit so I didn't kill him. Really glad about that. It's nice to have someone else that gets it even if Hue Co. is completely fucked now. He gets it so hard that even my narcissism doesn't argue with him about things he says he's the best at.
>>
>>30509686
>[x] Well…(Write in about them)

"Met Jager during a giant hollow invasion clusterfuck I whipped up ages ago, like way back in the 80's. I was just a purple insanity cat with illusions and she was just a dakka wolf with spike missiles. Hell! We didn't even have genders back then! we hung out, met interesting new hollows, ate most of them, and took over Hue co in GLORIOUS REVOLUTION! It's a kill the king, become the king deal ya know?Won Sin Fin in that little scuffle, the old king was shitty. Won Dom after I slapped his shit when he went for the throne WITHOUT RELEASING I MIGHT ADD. He adopted Caede and by adopt I mean stole but it worked out pretty well for them."

moral of the story, have a running crew. that shit is tight."
>>
>>30509920

"Then there was a Doctor... Brotha to then end, died how he lived, finger on the trigger bitch on the cock... He was a casualty of Doms fight against an angel.... He was the only one who had managed to return the sex-drive to hollows... and that secret died with him..."
>>
Why isn't she asking about the plant we've had with us since the very beginning that never was and or has been erased from time and or space?
>>
>>30509686

show her the gituar
>>
>>30509984
Because everyone just thinks its a plant or something. Also it doesn't talk.

Is the plant with us? We've never given it booze before I don't think. We should do that. Timmy wants drink drink.
>>
>>30510053
I wonder what would have happened if we watered it with Ice-girl.
>>
>>30510053
Plant-bro is too much of a big dick G to be questioned. Mother fucker knocked Satan on his ass.
>>
>>30510053
>>30510288
>>30510297
This brings up a good point. Shouldn't we be feed Jenny some scrubby hollows?
>>
>>30510568
He don't need it. He is leveling up because of space and time fuckery.
>>
>>30510568
What would arrancar Harold be like?
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“I did tell you the time I went up against the corrupt-” He wasn’t really corrupt “The less than nice-“ Now we don’t know that, in private he could have been a very amicable fellow. “Then maybe roman hollow king?” Acceptable. “Jager and I go back to when we were still scrubby. Like three timelines ago. Or maybe it was four, time travel is sort of complicated. Anyway, I met her during this hollow invasion of the world I engineered way back when, during the 80s or something, we didn’t actually have genders back then. I was a big crazy cat and she was a dakka wolf.

Anyway, I buggered off to be tall and shoot lasers, and be tall more. It was easily the best time of my whole unlife. Then we met back up when we were adjuchas and hung out with a big spider which may have been a boy named charlotte. Charlotte got killed by a warthog, then we decided to kill the king together. We won Short-Fin in that little scuffle, and before I gave her short bread which probably has gone bad by now but whatever. She used to be shorter till a writer decided that while it was comical she needed a step stool to rip her husband’s heart out it wasn’t very practical so she became less short. She is crazy as balls but in a different way than I am.” You throw in some proper gin and wines.

“The other folks?” She asks.

“Fuego we met when he tried to challenge Jager for the title of king.” You say.

“Queen you mean.” Ryoko points out.
(1/3)
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>>30510648
A loli
>>
>>30510648

Plot twist; Ramirez was an Arrancar all along
>>
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“No, King. Hueco Mundo is that sort of place. Anyway, he tried to attack her, but I kicked his ass without releasing. Neither of us was going all out, but I decided to spare him since he noticed something weird was going on with the world. He adopted Caede because he could. Well, he apparently stole Caede from somewhere, but she seems pretty happy with it so who am I to tell her it is wrong? There was also this doctor who managed to turn his sex drive back on. He died getting his dick sucked by Zweity’s big sister when an angel decided it was not particularly fond of the idea of his caddy. He still releases new tapes somehow but I decided not to question it. The secret to restoring hollow’s sex drives was lost with him” You say sadly.

“That so? Guess I just imagined it then.” Ryoko mumbles as you leave the store.

You walk past an alley as you continue your talk, then freeze as you hear some whistling. “Dayum, what we got here?” A voice calls out.

You turn to the alleyway and see four youths crouched down like they are taking a dump or something and smoking heavily. They are wearing some random school uniform jackets and you think you can smell the stupidity. “Don’t you girls know how dangerous it is after dark? Who know what sort of bad people you might find around here?” The lead, a youth with his hair dyed a deep red, explains while striding up.

“I like the foreign looking chick. Tough looking chicks like her make me wild, love making them meek.” One with a mask over his face like that yank bloke. King of pop? Says.

“You sure are popular” You say.

“Not her bitch, you. You have some fine legs.” The youth says and you blink.
(2/3)
>>
>>30510648
>>30510666
>>30510673
Plebs, clearly Janet would be a tree. Or a dryad.
>>
>>30510648
A tree? An enclave soldier? A plant with a slightly different pot?
>>
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“Ryoko. I think I am being hit on. This is a strange sensation. I feel young again.” You cross your arms.

“Look, you punks seem real nice and all, but it’s too fucking cold to shag and I don’t feel like it. Plus I want to get hammered and watch bad comedy.” Ryoko says.

“Don’t be like that babe.” The red hair ones says wrapping his arm around her shoulder and into her robe. “Not wearing underwear? You are asking for this.” He explains grabbing a bottle of your alcohol and looking at it. “The fuck is this?”

Ryoko glances back at you as a few of the youths get close. “Really, not in the mood. You guys don’t look really tasty anyway.” She explains pulling his hand out of her robe.

At once the red haired youth slams the bottle of gin into Ryokos head. The bottle breaks and sends the delicious alcohol spilling all over the ground. Ryoko staggers and you think she is trying to stop herself from killing the city. “I tried to be nice bitch. I can be really scary when I lose my cool you dig?” He threatens holding Ryoko’s hair and pointing the jagged bottle at her face.

Should we stop this? We are a teacher you know. I think that is one of our jobs.

“Look, this one is too scared to move taka!” One of the guys near you says.

Then again, they did hit on you which, you know, makes you feel like a kid again. Also, you still feel like you are being watched

What should we do?
[] Let Ryoko zerk out
[] We should step in
[] Grab Ryoko and run.
[] Call for help
[] Other, please specify
(3/3)
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>>30510666
>>30510730
>30510730
Why not both?
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>>30510717
I wonder who ryoko thinks has a sex drive

Also, chavs are gonna get fucked up
>>
>>30510769
> other
Mind rape them into being good christian children
>>
>>30510769
Let ryoko break them. Bala the ones who flee.
>>
>>30510769
[x] We should step in
THE GUITAR NEEDS SOULS
>>
>>30510769
Kick one of them in the nadgers. I hate drink being wasted
>>
>>30510801
>>30510834
>>30510835
Maybe we should stick to slightly less conspicuous methods of beatdowns while we have a mysterious force watching us.
>>
>>30510769
[] We should step in
Time to take them to the Fair
>>
>>30510769

just walk up to them and introduce a little of our go-juice into their systems.... should render them harmless and appear to be ODed on drugs...
>>
>>30510769
>[x] We should step in

something like this
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wD_Xb512Avc
>>
>>30510769
Poison them. It'll be funny
>>
>>30510869
>>30510887
Our we could make them worship us. Have to start somewhere.
>>
>>30510911
>>30510911
>>30510887
mix these two?
>>
>>30510887
Good point, we have poisons. Also tazer hands
>>
>>30510911
Yeah but not with four little shits who waste alcohol.
>>
>>30510769
>We should Step In!
Strip, remove bottle and Ryoko from his hands, then punch our hand up his throat through his diaphragm and use him as a sock puppet to explain the error of his manners to is companions and forcefully instruct them on how to properly treat a woman.

Or just break his arms and use both hands to work him like a ventriloquist's dummy. Would probably keep Ryoko happier with us.
>>
>>30510911

Don't need to be sane to worship the newest elder god...
>>
>>30510978
you don't have to be crazy BUT IT SURE HELPS!
>>
>>30511006
I mean the best superheroes are crazy
like plastic man and the creeper
>>
Seems majority want to give them the beat down in some manner.

Writing now.
>>
I hope Ryoko isn't secret moralfag.
>>
>>30511183
I doubt it what with all the Berserking.
>>
>>30511093
I want one of them to live so we can forcefeed them to the plant. I know it won't actually do much, but I feel nostalgic.
>>
>>30511263
well, she seems to be trying to keep it in, so I kinda feel murderdeathkilling them might piss her off.

Imma pessimist at heart though, maybe I'm overthinking this and she just doesn't like not being in control.
>>
>>30511327
Well maybe unlike us she doesn't really enjoy the huge collateral damage that is bound to come with one of our fight scenes. Maybe she wants to keep on something vaguely resembling the down low.
>>
>>30511093
Pretty sure the majority.wanted to use our poison because we haven't in forever.
>>
>>30511424
I thought that was like two guys.
>>
>>30510801
>>30510887
>>30510898
>>30510905
>>30510911
>>30510934
Seem to all be in favor of using our non-physical methods of hurting people.
>>
>>30511474
Four. And our crazy poison does miss driving people nutty.
>>
>>30511595
I was going to combine the ideas with soul poisoning done to the enemy group at the end.

Almost ready to post assuming no objections.
>>
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You look down at the gin and frown. “My gin.” You say with a level of sadness.

“Come on, baby, taka can be scary but I am real nice. We can get you a drink that doesn’t taste like perfume.” The one with the face mask says.

You reach down your pants and the pair around you seems to get excited, however when you pull a guitar made of their nightmares out they get confused beyond reason. The mask wearing one doesn’t have enough time to think about how you pulled a guitar out of your pants as you swing the instrument by the neck and smack him in the face. Honestly, you didn’t hit him too hard, even for the admittedly weak bodies of human beings, but the natural sensory overload of the guitar shoots through him in the instant it connects, sending so many chemicals through his brain and into his receptors his thinking gets totally scrambled as he falls to the ground.

The other one swings towards your face as fast as he can, which considering his poor form and damaged important parts, doesn’t amount to much. You let the swing connect with your cheek, your flesh impossible to break with his limited power. Your eyes flash with a violet light before sending a current of electricity into him, knocking him back into the ground while the tips of his hair smoke. You spin the guitar around your fingers before placing it on your shoulder as the two on the ground twitch and spasm. “Come to Risa.” You say wiggling your finger at the other two.
(1/3)
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The one who is not Taka lets out a scream as he charges you. He swings at nothing more than an illusion, you having already stepped to the side. You kick up between his legs and he lets out a high pitched gurgle as you lower your leg, then kick up once more, the tips of your boots connecting in just the right way to destroy something. He foams at the mouth as he falls to the ground, a bloody, sticky, wet mess appearing on the front of his trousers.

Taka goes wide eyes as he wraps an arm around Ryoko’s neck, pointing the bottle to her face. “Stay back! I swear I will fucking cut her you bitch!” He warns.

You reach your arm back and then mime a cricket pitch, ENGLAND, but your arm changes to a long tendril of flesh, sinew, teeth, and eyes. You wrap your fleshy appendage around Taka’s wrist and send teeth into it, locking him in. He tries to jump back in surprise, letting go of Ryoko, and you take the chance to pull him towards you and onto the ground. He struggles as the fleshy abomination from you wraps around his tendons and stabs in, immobilizing him.

You calmly morph your arm back and adjust your guitar as the bile in front of your stirs, trying to get back to some sense of self. You infuse the instrument with your gojuice and start to play, waves of sound giving soul based absolute insanity directly to them. They start screaming chaotically at first, then start to match a perfect resonance with the pitch of your playing. Your fingers play wildly as you allow a natural song come out of your very soul and into your minds.
(2/3)
>>
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Your song eventually ends, the four of them twitching whimpering masses on the ground before you. You walk over to Ryoko and tap your scrub on the shoulder. “Yo! You feeling okay Ryoko?” You ask, her blond hair stuck to her face with the gin.

“I’m fine.” She says, though you feel her gojuice swelling. You don’t think she is squeamish about hurting people, but you don’t think she really wants to go zerking in the middle of a town where she could hurt random people just because hulk smash.

You scratch your head as you look around. “Your robe thingy got soaked through. Should probably get you inside before you violate some sort of Japanese decency code. Granted I am not certain they have decency codes but all the same.”

“That right.” Ryoko growls and you notice her go juice is still picking up.

You seem to have a choice here.

[] Calm her down playfully
[] Calm her down forcefully
[] Let her rampage, no skin off your eyeballs
[] Other, please specify
(3/3)
>>
>>30511831
>[] Calm her down playfully
>>
>>30511831
"I'm afraid you leave me no choice."

Attempt... a hug.
>>
>>30511831

Offer her a go on the guitar. If anyone can take it, it would be her....
>>
>>30511831
[] Calm her down playfully
>>
>>30511831
>[x] Calm her down playfully

we can get rough later
>>
>>30511860
This seems fun. It is an axe.
>>
>>30511854
We aren't ice cat
we are insanity cat
>>
>>30511831
>Calm her down with a kiss
Because seriously no one expects that so it should shock her into shut down mode.

>Also, promise her more alcohol.
>>
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“You seem to be about to go zerker on the world. Which is not something I think you want? Can we get someone to check that out for me?” You ask looking up. All the interns are away. Remember? The Australia thing. “I did forget about all that. Repressed is the proper term.” You say.

“I am trying to be calm.” Ryoko mutters. “But these shit heads. These stupid fuckers!”

Ryoko’s go juice starts up as she steps forward, her gaze fixed with fury. Indeed, she seems ready to explode and take the whole of the world with her. If only there is some sort of crafty cat who is both a good role model and a snappy dresser nearby!

You are kneeling in front of her. The gin spilled over the front of her thin robe making it cling to her body as small snowflakes slowly drift down. You extend your index fingers and put them by your temples as if miming a bull. Then you thrust both out poking her in the nipples and making a “boop” sound. She jumps back and covers her chest, looking at you confused.

“Relax Ryoko!” You say standing up. “We took them out and they are already punished for their evil deeds! We can get you some fresh clothes and some more alcohol in a bit. Not like they really hurt you, my strange indestructible berserker girl.”

“Sensei, you really shouldn’t do that. You are a teacher and sexual harassment between teacher and students is bad.” Ryoko says with a sigh, managing to regain her composure.

“First, no sex drive means it was just harassment. Second, if I was brought up for this to the school board they would probably give me a raise or a promotion, cuz I'm a girl. You see what some of those other teachers around the country do? Bloody weird nation." You reply
(1/3)
>>
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“Get back!” One of the boys shouts pressing himself against the wall.

“Oh, good morning.” You greet him lighting a cigarette.

“Your faces. What’s wrong with your faces!” He shouts shivering in a cold sweat.

“We are cute, right?” You ask tilting your head at Ryoko who just shakes her head in reply.

“It doesn’t work that way. Mouths are not supposed to be that way!” He shouts running out of the alley into the street.

And right into an incoming car. He spins as he goes over the hood and into the windshield. The driver swerves before stopping and getting out of the car, looking at his twitching body. The young man seems to recover, looking up at the driver who came out before screaming again and trying to crawl away, his concussed brain making it difficult to stand.

“Crazy lout.” You say walking towards the inn, your purchases secure.

You enter your room, Ryoko getting glances from the twins which you think are probably healthy since they are at that age. You set the alcohol down and open a bottle, taking a long drink from the scotch. You let out a relaxed sigh as Jager walks over to you.

“Have any problems?” She asks.

“Of course not! Nothing can stop me! I am invincible!” You say proudly.

“Pretty sure I can stop you.” Jager replies grabbing an orange from the table and starting to peel it.

You slam your hands down on the table and raise an eyebrow, a mad smile on your face. “Jager. I am Risa Schrodinger. The Laughing Genocide. The Dead Goddess of Madness. You really think you can manage to stop me if I got going?” You ask.

“Yup.” Jager replies calmly, eating a slice of orange.

“Amusing! Very well then, let’s see your secret plan to stop one such as I!” You challenge.
(2/3)
>>
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Jager nods and goes over to her bag. She rummages around for a little while, then pulls out some circular device. She pushes a button and vacuum cleaner sounds come out of it. It goes around the room, turning here and there, bumping into things and turning around, and you tilt your head up and scoff. “You think such a thing can stop me?” You demand.

“You are riding on it already.” Jager states walking over to resume her orange.

She is quite correct. You used your gravity powers to lower your weight and are currently perches on top of the small robot cleaner, resting your hands on the front while your feet are on the back. “So? I can be unstoppable from on top this device as well! Now charge!” You say pointing towards jager, but your noble steed seems to have different plans.

It turns 180 degrees and heads towards the door to the hallway. “No! Turn my noble steed! Turn! We must show Jager how unstoppable we are!” You say.

The door opens as Ryoko enters in a new robe. She moves out of the way as you go out of the room and into the hall. “Sensei? You okay?” She asks but you just let out a growl of frustration as the machine takes you on an adventure.


You return to the room two hours later with the machine under your arms. Mari has started drinking with Jager, and you storm over to them both. Jager gives you a sleepy, relaxed look as you narrow your gaze then present the robot. “It stopped moving!” You explain and Jager takes it.

“Ah, I guess it needs a charge. Where might a plug be I wonder?” She mutters setting it down.

“Well played Jager bombs. Well played.” You say resuming your scotch.

The kids have been sent to bed by order of Mari, and you have a chance to have a nice talk with the other grown-ups. Or you can read your comics and go to bed since you plan on snowboarding and skiing tomorrow.

What do you want to do?
[] Talk to someone.
[] Go to sleep for the big day tomorrow!
[] Other, please specify
(3/3)
>>
>>30512815
>[x] Talk to someone.
"so Mari, what's it like pushing living things out of your vagina?"
>>
>>30512815
>[] Go to sleep for the big day tomorrow!
>>
>>30512815
>[] Go to sleep for the big day tomorrow!
This option has me confused. Since when do we sleep?

>[x] Other, please specify
Shapeshift an outlet, plug the roomba into ourself, unlimited night ride.

Which is really the same choice as sleeping in that it skips the night, but this one has more roomba
>>
>>30512854
"Or having a 50% success rate in raising thoughtful and kind children?"
>>
>>30513019
we can generate electricity....
>>
>>30512815
Ask Mari if she knows any Quincy secret techniques to, you know, not be mediocre.

Because right now it seems like she and her family are the harmless civilians who get their shit kicked in to show how a new villain can be more of an asshole than we are.

...Or at least have comparable levels of assholitude.
>>
>>30513019
We can sleep, we just don't have to. We can certainly roomba all night.
>>
>>30513157
If we power the roomba with our electric gojuice does that turn it into some hellish abomination that can channel our power with a thought?
Because I think Risa needs a prophet.
>>
>>30513249
You can not have the roomba as a prophet.
>>
>>30513306
... Can we be the Roomba's prophet instead?
The world needs to know of his glory.
>>
>>30513306
A cat can dream.
>>
Rolled 2

>>30513329
Could make it a target for divine retribution.

Seems it is more or less divided into "Talk to Mari" or "Ride roomba around all night/sleep"

May as well roll for it.
>>
>>30513370
The roomba commercial music just kicked in for a crazy montage of Risa riding around with the gang chasing her like Scoobie and co. running from the monster of the week through a haunted mansion.
>>
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You decide to let the boring people to the talking. You go over to the Roomba machine and grab hold of the electrical plug. You send in a wave of electricity and the machine starts up, sending you on a delightful ride through the inn. You pull out your comics as you enjoy the ride. “I wonder if this week she will throw a rock at someone again. Your misfortune delights me!”

You ride through the night, going on adventures into the quiet kingdom and slay monsters in the closets of your scrubs, keeping them safe from the night terrors. It’s only when dawn arrives and the others start waking up you realize you could have used your fluffy tails to aid in the quest to sleep. Still, you feel some choices had to be made. You Roomba into the room and point at Jager as she puts on her clothes. “Morning.” You say.

“Close the door!” She demands and you comply. “Have you been riding that thing around all night?”

“It is my most noble of mounts! We went to the quiet kingdom, and fought closet monsters, and cleaned the floor, and read comics together.” You explain and Jager nods.

“Well, I’m sure glad you like it.” She says.

“It was amazing. We need a fleet of these for the shrine. Also some for Hueco Mundo when we get it back, just imagine how terrified our enemies would be to see us riding upon their ranks on such magnificent machines.” You say, your face a glossy shine.

“We need to get the kids ready for playing today.” Jager says, her voice still filled with a desire to sleep.

Your group goes to the meeting room and find the hosts/chefs/food fairies have left food in the common room for you. You bite into the food and make a face as the bland meal sort of hangs on your taste buds. You note Jager has a similar unsatisfied expression. “This is a shock. I thought foreigners love Japanese food.” Kouta says and you turn to him.
(1/2)
>>
>>30513984
>You pull out your comics as you enjoy the ride. “I wonder if this week she will throw a rock at someone again. Your misfortune delights me!”
[Plotting intensifies]
>>
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“Why would you think that? Some sort of tofu soup with seaweed, fish, and rice? Why do you have to eat rice with everything?” You ask, the meal very unfilling.

“Be nice Risa. You know we don’t actually have to eat, right?” Jager says, keeping her feelings on the food to herself.
“Plus if you don’t eat then it doesn’t have to come out the other end.” Kouta says making Mari scowl.

“Don’t be gross over your breakfast.” She commands.

“Other end?” You tilt your head confused then seem to realize something. “Oh! You are talking about using the restroom. We don’t have to. Probably because we are pretty lasses. Pretty girls don’t use the restroom except in some niche porn markets.”

“Risa. Don’t be silly. We convert it all to spirit particles so there is no waste.” Jager explains.

“No, I am pretty sure it’s because pretty girls don’t do that.” You continue placing your plant on your head.

“Whatever, we are hitting the slopes, right?” Ryoko asks, her mood much improved from last night. “You know how to snowboard sensei?”

“I probably did it at some point when I was alive. I am sure it will come back to me eventually.” You say chewing on the fish.

Your group packs up and gets into stylish winter wear. You all get those poofy jackets and toques and goggles and make your way to the shop. You pay to rent gear for everyone and freeze as you realize you seem to have far more money than you thought you did. “Why do I have so much money?” You ask tilting your head. Inventory may have made some investments with your salary. Some damn fine investments with some people who you don’t want to talk about in polite company.

~S’bought human lives for cheap~

Crazy fucker. Anyway, you make your way to the slopes and give a tentative test to the board.

Please roll 1d100 for your snowboarding skills. Best of first five
(2/2)
>>
Rolled 74

>>30514020
I've been rolling low all night. Let's see how this goes.
>>
Rolled 10

>>30514020
The best snowboarder
>>
Rolled 16

>>30514020
Inventory is a good friend to have.
>>
Rolled 29

>>30514020
eat your heart out shaun white

go cry over your gold medals
>>
Rolled 79

>>30514020
>>
>>30514212
Not with that roll he won't.
>>
>>30514275
That's what the illusions are for
>>
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You look at the strange piece of treated wood and other not wood materials. You jump and assume a more or less correct stance as you move a little. You twist your hips and fall on your butt to stop. You nod, satisfied then look to the others. “It’s okay! It is really easy. You just put the board under you and then make your legs go ‘Geroooooooook’ then your waist has to go ‘zwam’ and you will be fine!” You explain.

You get back up and resume your casual run down the slope. Does this make us a snow bunny? What is a snow bunny anyway? “It is a rabbit that changes fur colour for the winter.” You explain going down the slope. You sure? “Pretty sure. Like, solid twenty to twenty five percent sure.” You say continuing down.

You travel up a few times and down, trying to remember something you have no memory of because fuck you anyway logic. You are about done with the easy way, but decide perhaps you should do something a bit different. You…

[] Go down the advanced course.
[] Spend a while teaching one of the others to snow good like you
[] Fuck it, snow man time
[] Other, please specify
>>
>>30514549
>[x] Go down the advanced course.
>>
Rolled 95

>>30514549
>[] Go down the advanced course.
hue
>>
>>30514590
>>30514590
While making a snow man
>>
>>30514657
Noice!
>>
>>30514549
>Go down the advanced course.
Also are we still getting that vibe that someone's watching us?
>>
>>30514939
Yes.
>>
>>30514957
Show off our sweet moves to whoever may be watching us. We need more followers for the Laughing Genocide.
>>
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>>30514957
>>
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You hop on the board and look down the advances course. “I must conquer this fertile landscape like the slut it is.” You proclaim to no one in particular.

You ready yourself on the top of the course and see what is probably your stereotypical jock rival with greased hair and a posse sneer at you then make a move towards Debra Walthers even though he knows she is your gal! “Wait, what?” I should really not be left alone with a staggering number of films to base all of my real world experiences on. Still, you must win her heart. And his heart. But mostly Jager’s heart. And who ever keeps bloody watching us, daft wanker.

“They are a daft wanker!” You agree. “I will build snowmen while doing tricks down this course.” Wait, I don’t think that’s physically possible. “I have super speed, lasers, and gravity magic. I will make it fucking happen.” You explain jumping down the advance course.

You strain your powers, using small bursts of energy to keep yourself upright. You hit a jump and do a spin. While upside down you fire cero lasers at snow banks, building up the snow you will need. As you land you throw out small pockets of gravity, billing the snow into three distinct piles as you dodge trees so close if you were Jager it would have made you crash. “Another tits reference? Seriously, get your mind off of them.” You say as your gravity molds them into orbs. There are so many things wrong with that statement, but I will let it slide for now. Have you seen them? Have you?!
(1/3)
>>
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You ignore your mind’s mind’s strange thoughts and continue down the mountain. You see your jock rival, or maybe, just another random snowboarder, and you get a good jump and land on their head, using gravity magic to stay perfectly balanced as your massive snowman orbs continue to fall and build up mass. “Could it be? The legendary Snow Ridaru?! But that technique was lost to the last generation snow mountain king! How is it possible to see it here?” You ask excitedly before kicking off the head and continuing down. You use a cero fired behind you to gain speed as the massive snowballs continue to grain mass under the careful direction of your gravitational manipulation.

You take a sharp turn, barely avoiding a rock and hit a last jump, your powers carrying you high. You unbuckle yourself from your board and then sonido over to the falling orbs. You kick one high into the air, then another, then the final one. As they reach their apex you sonido after then, performing a spinning kick on the largest, then the middle, then the smallest, all targeting the base of the mountain, then you make it back to your board and barely strap back in before just before it touches back down. You see the massive orbs collide and form well, but that enough is not a snowman make. You fire balas at the massive snow man, making the eyes, mouth, and buttons, then turn your board.
(2/3)
>>
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You uproot two trees, their sacrifice not in vain, then fire your cero behind you to get some speed. You approach from the side and leap from the edge of the cliff towards the snowman, then throw the first tree. It spins end over end and then slams into the torso at an appropriate angle. As you spin over the head of the snowman, the G-forces of your spin actually making you a little uncomfortable, you throw the other tree into the side to make the arms complete. You land, safely, then look at your towering snow man, angrily looking over the mountain as a judgmental protector. Now you need a nose.

You find a massive icicle on the edge of a cliff face, the marvel of nature a testimony to the long winter of fenrir, and break it off. You launch it like a spear into the snowman’s face and it lands perfectly. You nod satisfied, then carve your name into the snow butt just as the others come to see what you have done.

“Risa. Did you make a giant-“ Jagers starts.

“Yes I did god damn it!” You reply happily putting your fists on your hips and puffing your chest out proudly.

Your group goes inside for mocha. Not that you actually get cold, but Mari says it is bad for the not quasi gods to get too cold. Plus free mocha. You look around the group and realize it’s another opportunity for them links.

[] Go outside and play some more
[] Bonding time with others!(Who?)
[] Other, please specify
(3/3)
>>
>>30515682
>[x] Bonding time with others!

I dunno.. the Twincy family?
>>
>>30515682

Bonding Time!

Twincy Family + Zweity.
>>
>>30515682
Let's see how Kouta and Zweity are doing.
>>
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How about we pick up here next time? I seem to be getting quite tired for some reason.

Will be around for a little bit for question, concerns, comments, etc.
>>
>>30516199
how bad would it have if we had let Ryoko zerk out?

also 1997 had the 10th anniversary of Hellblazer.

Thanks for running
http://www32.zippyshare.com/v/40160424/file.html
>>
>>30516284
She would have had a little rampage. Buildings smashed, eggs dropped, milk spoiled.


Cool! Thanks for playing!
>>
>>30516366
don't forget to archive!
>>
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>>30516837
Archived. I am off to bed, goodnight all.
>>
>>30516923
g'night


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