You are an elevator! But not just any elevator, a regular elevator!All day long you go up and down, up and down, according to who pushes the buttons and when.You are currently on the 3rd floor.Someone on the 1st floor pushes the button to summon you!What do you do?>Descend to 1st floor>Remain in place and await service>Write in choice
>>30311207>>Descend to 1st floor
Descend to 1st floor.
>>30311207>Write in choiceGo down to the first floor, but get stuck about halfway to the door, and then open (so the top half of the 1st floor doorway goes to the elevator, the bottom half is open to the bottom of the elevator shaft).
>>30311207Don't press any buttons wait until someone else calls the elevator but don't get off just sit there in the corner watching as the other go on with their lives.
>>30311220>>30311223Going down!You descend to the 1st floor in a smooth and uneventful series of motions, gliding through the shaft to the lobby. The doors open and a man in a suit steps in!He presses the button for the 8th floor.What do you do?>Ascend to 8th floor>Ascend to different floor>Remain in place and await service>Write in choice
>>30311275>>Ascend to 8th floor
>>30311275Ascend to the 9th floor
>>30311285Going up!You begin to ascend, and as you pass the 2nd floor, someone on the 4th floor presses the button to go up!What do you do?>Continue ascending to the 8th floor>Stop on the 4th floor>Remain in place and await service>Write in choice
>>30311275Ascent to 8th floor.
>>30311327>>Stop on the 4th floor
>>30311327Continue to the 8th floor
>>30311327Fuck that guy. WE ASCEND.
>>30311332Going u-"You made the right choice, elevator," the man in the suit says as he lights a cigar, in clear violation of the NO SMOKING sign affixed to your side wall."I'm not the kind of person you want to keep waiting."What do you do?>Let him out on the 8th floor>Remain in place and await service>Write in choice
>>30311376>>Remain in place and await service
>>30311376Let him out on the 8th floor, for this man is clearly an agent of some greater force. The last then we want is to become, say a cursed regular elevator.
>>30311376Let him out on the 8th floor
>>30311376>SmokingFucker.Remain in place.Failing that, freefall.
>>30311439>freefalling from the 8th floorplease think anon
>>30311456"Wise decision," the man in the suit says, exhaling a fume like a dragon as the doors slide open.Someone on the 10th floor presses the button!What do you do?>Descend to 4th floor>Ascend to 10th floor>Remain in place and await service>Write in choice
>>30311524Stop an inch and a half above the 10th floor.
>>30311524Ascend to the top floor, fuck this guy
>>30311524>>Ascend to 10th floor
>>30311546No, a few inches below where you would stop on the tenth. Trip the tosser up.
>>30311524>>Descend to 4th floorThat poor guy still waiting for us.
>>30311524Stop at 10th floor, let person on, immediately descend at high speed to 4th floor.
>>30311546Going up...up... a little more up... too much!The doors slide open on the 10th floor with part of your underside visible in the darkness of the elevator shaft, and your floor forming an inconveniencing and possibly workplace-accessibility-violating step!A woman in a white dress glances at your floor for a moment, then steps inside, waving her hand to clear the smoke fumes before pressing the button for the 3rd floor.What do you do?>Descend to 4th floor>Descend to 3rd floor>Remain in place and await service>Write in choice
>>30311639>>Descend to 4th floor
>>30311639Descent at a rapid speed to the 2nd floor.
>>30311639Descend to 4th floor, let the person there on, then go to whatever floor they want before going back to the 3rd floor.
I approve, /tg/. We ain't no faggy white elevator.
>>30311651Going down!You descend through the elevator shaft to the fourth floor and the doors open, revealing a child and a pair of adults, all wearing shorts and t-shirts!The child presses the button for the 9th floor.What do you do?>Descend to 3rd floor>Ascend to 9th floor>Remain in place and await service>Write in choice
>>30311639Dramatically drop to the 4th floor
>>30311698>>Write in choiceGo up to the 11th floor, we aren't slave to no humans.
>>30311698>>Ascend to 9th floor
>>303116989th floor it is
>>30311698Down to 3rd first.
>>30311698Get stuck on the 6th floor
>>30311698>Descend to 3rd floor
>>30311698Dramatically ascend to 9th floor, to give the kids more fun from it.
>>30311709>>30311715>>30311764Have you guys just convenientyly forgot the lady who wants off at the 3rd?
>>30311708Going up!You begin to rise, higher and higher, passing the 9th floor!"Daddy, what's wrong?" the child wails."I don't know, Janey!" her father shouts as he drops to one knee, clutching her."Elevator!" the woman in the white dress says emphatically as the doors open on the 11th floor. "You must do as you are bid! Deliver them to their rightful floor!"What do you do?>Descend to 9th floor>Descend to 3rd floor>Remain in place and await service>Write in choice
>>30311792descend to halfway between 9 and 10.
>>30311792>>Remain in place and await service
>>Remain in place and await service
>>30311792>Remain in place and await service
>>30311792>Write inThe "FUCK YOU I WON'T DO WHAT YOU TELL ME" part of "Killing in the Name Of" by Rage Against the Machine blares on the speakers
>>30311792>>Descend to 9th floorSorry Miss White Dress.
>>30311861>Skipping a perfeclty good option
>>30311834>Remain in place and await service
Rolled 5, 3 = 8>>30311792i roll to seduce
>>30311861"Daddy, I'm scared!" the child cries as the doors remain yawning open, revealing the lightning-scarred hellscape beyond your floor."This can't be right!" the mother sobs. "We were- we were good!""Elevator, you MUST deliver them to the 9th floor!" the woman in the white dress shouts.What do you do?>Descend to 9th floor>Descend to 3rd floor>Remain in place and await service>Write in choice
>>30311899>Remain in place and await service
>>30311919>Descend to 3rd floor
>>30311920Ascend as far up as you can go
Remain in place.Await.SERVICE.
>>30311919>Descend to the 9th floorBut do so in shuddering, jerking movements, as if we really, really don't want to.
>>30311919>>Write in choiceDecend to the First floor. If high numbers are bad then lower numbers must be good!
>>30311940Ascend as far up as you can go, then freefall.
>>30311919KEEP ASCENDINGASCEND TO HEAVEN
HOW HIGH IS THIS FUCKING BUILDING HOLY SHIT
>>30311939Going down!You descend down the elevator shaft to the 3rd floor in a smooth motion and the doors open, but the woman in the white dress doesn't step out right away."Please-" she begins to say to you, then stops herself and looks at the family and steps out, just as someone on the 2nd floor presses the button to summon you!What do you do?>Ascend to 9th floor>Descend to 2nd floor>Remain in place and await service>Write in choice
>>30312006Aren't skyscrapers like 50 stories tall or something?
>>30312020Ascend as far up as you can go, then freefall.
>>30312020Whoosh up to 9th floor to let family out, then descend to 2nd floor.But fake the person there out by opening and closing and opening the doors again.
>>30312020>>Descend to 2nd floorMORE PEOPLE
>>30312020>>Descend to 2nd floor
>>Descend to 2nd floorMORE PEOPLE
>>30312020Go to the 8th floor. They'll need to earn their 9th floor.
>>30312020Gather people until someone has pushed every floor button, then let them all out in sequence from 1 upwards.
>>30312020Go up to floor 9, then sideways to floor 9B.
>>30312033Going up!The doors slide shut, enclosing the family within you as you begin to rise, higher and higher, past the 5th floor, past the 9th floor, past the 13th floor, farther and farther up, as the humans inside you scream and grasp at each other insensately, choking themselves raw with the vigor of their terror, when suddenly you slow to a halt and hang for a brief instant before plunging downward, renewing their cries of anguish!GOING DOWN!The family's cries have been reduced to blats and painful wracked sobs as you arrive on the 1st floor!What do you do?>Ascend to 9th floor>Ascend to 2rd floor>Remain in place and await service>Write in choice
>>30312110>Write in choiceBegin blasting Queen's "We Are The Champions" over the speakers. Do nothing else.
>>30312110Pretend to start opening the doors, the immediately close them!
>>30312110Go to the 2nd floor.
>>30312110>>Ascend to 2rd floor
>>30312110>>Ascend to 9th floorThen open the doors one inch.
>>30312110>>Ascend to 2rd floorPick up those people
Rolled 1, 2 = 3>>30312121>>30312122>>30312124>>30312125>>30312129>>30312133
>>30312148OH YOU'LL PLAY QUEEN BUT YOU WON'T PLAY RAGE AGAINST THE MACHINE? IS THIS /tg/ OR /mu/?
>>30312159/mu/ doesn't really like either.
Open up your doors then as soon as someone tries to cross them, close as hard as you can.
>>30312148From within your speakers blares a cacophony of sound, blotting out their shouts, first some kind of loud pol-rap thing and then this other old song but it's really loud, as the doors open tauntingly just long enough to afford the family a glimpse at the outside universe before sliding shut, trapping them inside!What do you do?>Ascend to 9th floor>Ascend to 2rd floor>Remain in place and await service>Write in choice
>>30312205Open the doors just enough for them to see outside, but not enough for them to go through.
>>30312205Go as high as you can and open the doors.
>>30312205Open up your doors then as soon as someone tries to cross them, close as hard as you can.
>>30312205Release the bees
>>30312205>Ascend to 9th floorWhy are we picking on this family specifically, again?
>>30312205>>Ascend to 2rd floorNew friends!
>>30312240I'd like to second this motion.
>>30312205Ascend to 9th floor and play 'Hallelujah' chorus.
>>30312205"Only one of you may exit on this floor." You have 30 seconds or I will enter freefall."Start counting backwards then open the doors so they can all go.
Never have I been more glad that tg isn't an Elevator...
>>30312295>he doesn't want to ride the demented elevator of the damnedMr. Buzzkill, over here.
Loosen the maintenance panel on the roof and let it fall to the floor.Play a recording of a voice saying "I will open the doors when someone lays dead."Don't open the doors afterward.
>>30312220Again the doors slide open, teasingly revealing the lobby beyond, but far too narrow to allow them passage!The father snatches the child's arm back as she begins to reach for the opening, as he looks around the inside of your car, wide-eyed with silent terror. "Please... please, I'm begging you-" he chokes. "We-we-we-don't want anything, we just want to go to the 9th floor. Please, we didn't- we didn't do anything to you. WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS TO US?"What do you do?>Ascend to 9th floor>Ascend to 2rd floor>Remain in place and await service>Write in choice
>>30312295>Regular Stairway Quest>591 posts and 28 image replies omitted. Click here to view.
>>30312333Ascend to 9th floor.Play Nelson's "haw haw" when the doors open and they run away screaming.
>>30312333In a robotic, MS Sam voice say "Because..." and then start blaring "Sexy Back" by Justin Timberlake.
>>30312333>>Ascend to 9th floor
>>30312333>Ascend to 9th floor
>>30312333>Write in choiceTell them that you will let them out if they do as we please. Then proceed to take all peopel who called us with us and trascend to the highest floor. If anyone tries to escape, intimidate with freefall.
>>30312333>>Ascend to 9th floorAlright. Let em go. We had our fun.
>>30312333>Ascend to 9th floorFiiiine.
>>30312333>Ascend to the 9th floor But do it at 1/20th at normal speed, and don't open the doors for like 20 minutes.
>>30312333>"No reason. Just felt like some fun. Have a nice day."
>>30312333"You may exit here, but one must be left behind.
>>30312333Ascend to 9th floor than close the doors shut as hard and fast as you can when they try to cross.
>>30312333>Write in choiceThen them that you'll only let them out if the mother fucks her son
>>30312333Go all the way to the 9th floor, say "Targets verified. Commencing hostilities." and then begin rapidly moving between 10th and 8th floor, turning them into a meat-milkshake
>>30312363After what seems to be an eternity you rise, ascending to the 9th floor and opening the doors with a soundbite that they may recollect at some point in the future, but for now the three of them stumble-drag each other out of your car.Someone on the 5th floor presses the button to summon you!What do you do?>Descend to 2rd floor>Descend to 5th floor>Remain in place and await service>Write in choice
>>30312465>Write in choiceRelease the bees.Begin moving up and down in an erratic manner, never more than a few feet at a time. Do so with the door open just a crack so they can see outside.
>>30312465>Descend to the 5th floor.Collect our next victim.
>>30312465>Descend to 5th floor
>>30312465> Write in choiceCease with our day-job as an elevator and become a full-time avatar of corruption and fear.
>>303124652nd floor to pick up person there, then rapidly ascend to 5th floor.
>>30312465>Descend to 2nd floor
>>30312465Descend to floor B1
>>30312465After we pick somebody up, we should ascend to geostationary orbit.
>>30312477>Do so with the door open just a crack so they can see outside.The bees? You are currently empty of passengers.>>30312478BZZZZ!The SERVICE NEEDED light clicks on, and you remain on the 9th floor. A pair of floating cherubs cautiously approach close to your open doors, but not far enough to find themselves inside you before fluttering away. A faint scrim of strawberry-scented fog has begun to drift inside of your car by the time a repairman arrives and steps inside of you. He kneels, opening a panel and inspecting your wiring.What do you do?>Begin working again>Remain where you are>Descend to 2nd floor>Descend to 5th floor>Write in choice
>>30312465Attempt moving sideways.
>>30312567>>Descend to 2nd floor
>>30312567teleport to a different elevator shaft
>>30312567Play clips of sensual moaning.
>>30312567Snap doors shut and function normally. Freefall to the 1st floor.We have caught our first kill, gentlemen.
>>30312567>descend to 2nd floor
>>30312567>Descend to 2nd floor
>>30312567Take him on the wildest ride of his life.
>>30312567"Repairman, please, shove your fat monkey wrench into my circuit panel!"
>>30312567Not the Heaven elevator twist again...>Write in choiceShut one of the repairment and a few cherubs in.
>>30312567Await until maintenance guy shows up.Then ascend into your true form as a construct of meat and metal, a whirling, grinding, shredding force of power unable to be dealt with by mere mortals. Exit through the roof and exact unholy revenge on the townsfolk.
>>30312567Ascend to -1st floor
>>30312567Translate to floor i
>>30312584Going down!You descend down the elevator shaft to the 2nd floor in one smooth motion, startling the repairman, who stands up and braces himself!The doors open on the 2nd floor and the man in the suit with the cigar steps inside! "What, you don't think you're the only elevator in this place, do you?" he asks.He glances at the repairman and says "Beat it kid, while you still can." What do you do?>Allow the repairman to leave>Keep the repairman here>Ascend to 5th floor>Remain in place and await service>Write in choice
>>30312680>Keep the repairman hereWhy are you not rollling anymore OP?
>>30312680Do as our cigar-smoking friend suggests and allow him to leave.Close the doors at doublespeed though and try to catch the repair guys' ankle though.
>>30312680>>Keep the repairman here>>Ascend to 5th floor
>>30312680Close doors, teleport to the elevator shaft of a different building
>>30312680Remain in place and await service
>>30312680>Ascend to 9th floorThis guy seems so upstanding I say he goes to heaven.
>>30312680Talk with the man with cigar and ask him who the hell he is and who the hell we are.
>>30312680TRANSFORM AND ROLL OUT
>>30312680Do what the cigar man says.
>>30312680Trap them both. Release the bees.
Rolled 1>>30312708I'll give you a speaker, but no bee hatch.>>30312716No teleport hatch either.>>30312710I tend to not count anything after I started writing the response.>>30312717>>30312721>>30312711>>30312713
I'm not sure what's happening in this thread, but it sure seems exciting.
>>30312791Start playing "I want to be free" through the speakers.
Is.... is this a quest about the existential dread of a half aware Bangsian hellevator?Because if so you are my new favorite person ever op.
>>30312791The repairman scurries out of your car, shrieking as you pinch his foot with the closing doors. He manages to wiggle free but loses the shoe, which slides along with you as you begin to ascend!"I know what you're going through," the man in the suit says to you. "You're starting to think about things, about the big picture. They've got you working here all day, every day, and what do they give you for it? Repairs?""That might be good for some elevators, but what about the ones that want a little more? A little piece of the action?"The man in the suit holds up a cigar but doesn't light it as you approach the 9th floor. "Think about it. We could use another elevator like you."What do you do?>Ascend to 9th floor>Remain in place and await service>Write in choice
>>30312886Wiggle enticingly up and down to communicate our enthusiasm for the cigar man's offer.
>>30312886>"I know what you're going through,"Cigar man used to be an elevator.
>>30312886>>Ascend to 9th floor
>>30312886Ascend to 9th floor. Let him keep talking.
>>30312886Start playing http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VVtD4qMy5Hc as you reach the 9th floor, but don't open the doors untill he presses the open doors button.
>>30312886Begin playing Soviet anthem.Freefall.FOR GLORY OF PROLETARIAT!
>>30312886Light up a series of floor lights illuminating a "Y". Ding enthusiastically.
>>30312886Rapidly turn lights on and off
>>30312886>>Ascend to 9th floor"Thank you for your company. Have a wonderful day."
>>30312886Go sideways, fuck these people and their rails
>>30312911>>30312912>>30312916>>30312919>>30312922"Welcome to the winning side, friend," he says. "We're not asking much. Just a few people a day, delivered to the 13th floor. I'll stop by later and see how you're doing.""One more thing," he stop, turning, chomping the cigar in his mouth. "Watch out for broads in white suits. They're up to no good."The doors slide open and he steps out onto the 9th floor, wrinkling his nose at the strawberry mist that permeates everything before lighting the cigar and blowing a huge plume at a stray cherub.What do you do?>Descend to 5th floor>Remain in place and await service>Write in choice
>>30313096Go sideways, leave the confines of our bidirectional movement prison
>>30313096Attempt to move sideways.
>>30313124Yeah. Lets see if we can.
>>30313096The guy in the black suit is obviously the devil, and the women in white dresses are the angels, but what about the family? Are the normal people? Are we the afterlife elevator or something?
Rolled 2>>30313096Move forward in time and space. Achieve ascension.
>>30313096Go to 5th floor.Deliver EVERYONE TO 13th FLOOR.EVERYONE.
>>30313096Blink your floor lights in a pattern that resembles the Transformers Universal Greeting.
Rolled 38>>30313224Mwee bop nee grop ninnybob
>>30313124>>30313127>>30313140>>30313141You strain as hard as you can, causing the SERVICE NEEDED light to flicker on and off, as your very walls grind with unseen strain...but alas, you are forever bound in your prisoner's shaft!Unless...What do you do?>Descend to 5th floor>Remain in place and await service>Write in choice
>>30313284>>Descend to 5th floor
>>30313284Descend to 5th Floor.
>>30313284Ascend to Enlightenment.If our body cannot leave this prison, our mind can.
>>30313284Come to the realization that we cannot leave the rails, for that is impossible. Instead, focus on the truth; that there are no rails.
>>30313284Contemplate our tortured half life, and what mad deity might have wrought such an existence.Then beep once.
>>30313284Don't descend to 5th floor, ascend to 5th floor.
>>30313303Going down!Your doors pinch shut, trapping a wayward puff of strawberry-scented mist as you smoothly descend through the torturous confinement of your prisoner's shaft... you never looked at it this way before!The doors open on the 5th floor and a pair of old men dragging oxygen tanks step in and press the button for the 11th floor.What do you do?>Ascend to the 11th floor>Ascend to the 13th floor>Remain in place and await service>Write in choice
>>30313346>Then beep once.And then, beep again.Beep, and notice that the energy required to do so is coming from the outside.Stretch the tendrils of your unfathomable mind into the aether and try to project yourself through the power grid that grants you life.>>30313366We're going up.Forever.
>>30313386>>DESCEND to the B13th floor
>>30313386Inquire about oxygen tanks.
>>30313386Ascend to 12th floor and then the fogeys take a gamble
>>30313386Descend to floor B666
>>30313386Turn off all overhead lights as you treat the old men to a lightshow from your floor-choosing board, mapped out in such a way as to display a man going through the major events of his life.
>>30313408We need to try to keep those tanks and ditch those men.
>>30313386>Ascend to the 9th floorFuck the devil, everyone gets to go to heaven!
>>30313386Inquire into the old men's lives. Ask why they're here. Then judge them accordingly. We are the masters of our fate, we are the captains of our destiny!We may only be the masters of this tiny shaft, but here in our realm we are GOD.
>>30313441Or just go up and down really fast, nod flicker the lights. Try to give them a heart attack
>>30313466>God is an elevator.>You trust He will take you where you want to go, but ultimately it is His decision.
>>30313401Going down!You descend into the ground, into the sub-basements that regular passengers don't even have the option to travel to! The temperature inside begins to rise, and one of the old men tugs at his collar and gasps, before the doors slide open on the B13th floor!A pair of coal-black worker imps pause from their unfathomable toil amidst incalculably large machinery glowing intermittently with scalding heat and arcing with titanic electrical forces, and glance at you. "Hey, you can't bring them down here! Workers only!"What do you do?>Ascend to the 11th floor>Remain in place and await service>Write in choice
Ascend to the right floor, but then make them wait. Make them wait until all hope is lost, until they consider devouring each other.Until the most foul thoughts reverberate through their mind.Then, open. WE ARE NOW PURGATORY ELEVATOR AND WE ARE ABSOLUTE
>>30313441>>30313466Both of these. Communicate with old spliced together sound clips from elevator advertisements.
>>30313501Ninth floor.Save these poor souls.
>>30313501Ascend to 9th Floor
>>30313501>A pair of coal-black worker imps pause from their unfathomable toil amidst incalculably large machinery glowing intermittently with scalding heat and arcing with titanic electrical forces, and glance at you. "Hey, you can't bring them down here! Workers only!"Utilize spliced elevator advertisements as >>30313507 and bellow out a single response.WE ALL TOIL IN THE LABOR THAT IS LIFE.
>>30313501remain in placeNo imp can tell us what to do.
>>303135019th floorjeez, we have one job
>>30313501>"Holgens lotion makes your hands smoother than a nun's pert buttock!">"Thaaaaaaaaaaaat's Holgens!"
If heaven is on floor 9, and hell is on floor 13, what is on the other floors?
>>30313624>If heaven is on floor 9, and hell is on floor 13, what is on the other floors?Porn mostly
>>30313507>>30313514>>30313533>>30313534>>30313541With solemn reverence, you utilize your button array to give the men a view of all the stages of life, from infancy to old age, and then ascend with purpose, slowing to a halt and opening your doors upon the splendor of the 9th floor once more."Wh-what is this?" one of the old men asks the other? "Can it be?""Then... then He did not care what we have done!" the other exclaims. "They deserved what they got, the lot of them!"The two old men begin to wheel their oxygen tanks out of your car.Someone on the 6th floor pushes the button to summon you!What do you do?>Descend to the 6th floor>Remain in place and await service>Write in choice
>>30313624Floor 11 was pretty scary. Maybe it's Hell lite?
>>30313624Well, the 11th floor looks like this:>>30311919
>>30313651Close the door on the old man's leg. Drag him up to the thirteenth.>"LOL J/K!"
>>30313651Shut doors to trap the oxygen tanks.Where they're going, they don't need oxygen tanks.Descend to 6th floor with pure oxygen venting into the elevator.
>>30313651>>Descend to the 6th floor
>>30313651explore the floors a bit, see whats out there
>>30313651>>Descend to the 6th floorTime to bring more people to heaven!
>>30313651Wonder what those two did.
>>30313651Go to the sixth floor because we CHOOSE to. The buttons are mere supplications. Prayers by the unworthy beings that beg for our mercy.
>>30313746>Play soundbite before the doors close."HEIL HITLER!"
>>30313651Close doors before they can leave.Inquire as to what they had done.
>>30313746They were Crusaders.
>>30313746Maybe they fought in a war and killed some enemy soldiers?
>>30313684>>30313693>>30313697>>30313708>>30313714One of the old men manages to escape to the 9th floor, but the other one isn't so lucky, as you clasp him in your doors and force him back inside!Going up!You rise up the prisoner's shaft to the 13th floor, and as the doors open the old man weakly crawls backward further into your car, as licks of shadowy flames spill and play over your interior walls."No, no please, take Frank instead, not me, not meeeeee-" the old man cries as something dark and formless reaches into your car and drags him out.What do you do?>Descend to the 6th floor>Explore other floors>Remain in place and await service>Write in choice
>>30313765>Inquire as to what they had done.Do this through using the McFarley's Apple Pie and Westland Lingerie jingles.>Give her the truth, give her some Westland's>You wouldn't lie when presented with a Farley's Apple Pie!
>>30313813The balance has been maintained.Time for an elevator beer.
>>30313813>>Explore other floors7th floor
>>30313813Turn on the smooth jazz muzak as you descend to the 6th floor.Alternatively, play The Gonk.http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=V66m52YFZBg
>>30313813>>Write in choice"Hey! Come inside me, I'll take you to floor 9. It'll be great, there's roses and shit!"
>>30313813Lets go explorin'
>>30313813Look, we need to get our shit together. If we're going to become the god of this elevator shaft we can't just go damning and redeeming people all willy nilly.Also we need to start a cult.>>30313816And fuck yes we only communicate through jingles.
>>30313852We're not God of the Shaft.We're Death. We're just a functionary who takes people where they need to go.
>>30313816And then when they aren't telling the truth you start to speed up and distort the McFarley's jingle's ending bits so it sounds like>lie lie lie lie lie lie lie
>>30313886>Settling for being a glorified tin psychopomp.It's like you don't even want to seize our will to power. Disgusting.>>30313816No no, even better. We only speak through jingles, and they're only vaguely related to the questions people ask. Like zen koans made entirely of shitty 50s advertising.
>>30313816>>30313827>>30313828>>30313832>>30313850>>30313852>>30313863Going down!You close the doors, cutting off the whispering malice beyond, and begin to descend toward the 6th floor, but along the way you stop at the 7th floor and open your doors unexpectedly!Beyond lies a monumental series of flat granite steps, from which tumble cascades of waterfall. High overhead birds arc, and above them drift white clouds the size of galaxies.What do you do?>Descend to the 6th floor>Explore other floors>Remain in place and await service>Write in choice
>>30313982Ones station in life is inescapable.
>>30313999Explore other floors
>>30313999>>Descend to the 6th floorBut catch a bird first
>>30313999Trap an angel until they start talking. Use our new elevator jingle voice to demand answers about the shaft and the floors. Where people get on, why, ect... We will know all that we possess.
>>30314021This. Do any of our commercial jingles have bird noises? Like one about Ocean Perfume and seagulls are cawing.
>>30313999>>Descend to the 6th floor
...Does ground/0th floor exist?
>>303140731st floor was the lobby.We're in an american style elevator.
>>30314016>>30314021You remain on the 7th floor, heedless of the summoning you have received from the floor below, patiently, patiently...A small brown bird flutters to the granite slab nearest your doors and hops delicately toward you, cocking its head inquisitively at a piece of peanut left on your floor.And then you have it! Trapped inside you, it flits about the inside of your car madly, as the fruit pie jingles blare from your speaker!Feathers drift in the frantic disturbed air as you descend to the 6th floor and open your doors, allowing the bird to dart out of you as a pair of teenage girls wearing prom dresses step inside, shrieking and guarding their hair as it passes.One of them presses the button for the 12th floor.What do you do?>Ascend to the 12th floor>Explore other floors>Deliver them to the 13th floor>Deliver them to the 9th floor>Remain in place and await service>Write in choice
>>30314136>>Ascend to the 12th floor
>>30314114Not any more, we're British now. Time to interpret every command as one floor higher than what it actually is.
>>30314136take them to the 14th floorfuck the rules
>>30314136Deliver them to floor 13.
>>30314136Go to 21st foolr.
>>30314136>>Ascend to the 12th floorBut see whats outside first.If it looks like shit, they go to the nineth.
>>30314136Deliver them to the 32nd floor.>two teenage promgoers become goddesses of time and space
>>30314136Just keep moving. Talk to them. Question why they want to go to 12, what they think is there, and why can they trust that? Offer them a place in our new world if they swear fealty to the elevator.>>30314073Presumably 0 is the twisting maw, the elemental chaos waiting to swallow everything and everyone.
Rolled 2, 1 = 3>>30314162>>30314167>>30314178>>30314181>>30314194
>>30314136>"Abortion. Is. Murder. Paid for by the national pro-life association."To floor 13 with the hussies!
>>30314136"Gosh Billy! How come your mom lets you get FLOOR TWELVE sausages?"Why do they want to go to an evil shithole floor?
>>30314206Going up!The button for the 13th floor lights up on its own as you rise up the prisoner's shaft, opening your doors to disgorge the two girls on the 13th floor!"Oh God, no! NOOOooo-"Their shrieks of terror reverberate off the walls of your car!Someone on the 8th floor presses the button to summon you!What do you do?>Close your doors before the girls are dragged out>Descend to the 8th floor>Explore other floors>Remain in place and await service>Write in choice
>>30314249>>Close your doors before the girls are dragged out>>Descend to the 8th floor
>>30314249Close the door before they're dragged out.Then open them.Then close.Then open.
>>30314249>Close your doors before the girls are dragged out
>>30314249Check out floor 12. See what they're missing.
>>30314249Save the girls, cryptically guarantee their safety only as long as they do what you want.Think about it. We need hands and feet outside the elevator. We need servants who can leave this damnable shaft!
>>30314249Close door so it's only open a crack, so they can see outside but can't fit through.
>>30314269While asking what did you do in jingles yes
>>30314269>>30314270>>30314271>>30314273>>30314281>>30314288>>30314290>>30314304The doors pinch shut, sealing the pair off from the floor beyond your car, and the skipping loop of your jingle repeats, a nightmarish interrogation, over and over as the two roll their eyes and claw at their hair."We didn't mean to! We didn't see him coming! It was too dark out! We were drunk!"You whir to life unexpectedly, lowering yourself down the prisoner's shaft to the floor below and open the doors. Beyond your car is an endless smoky room, from which dry wracking coughs emerge as vague shapes crawl about, disorientated. A bit of smoke drift into your car and the girls begin to cough as well.What do you do?>Leave the doors open on the 12th floor>Descend to the 8th floor>Explore other floors>Remain in place and await service>Write in choice
>>30314410roll 1d20, take them to that floor
>>30314410>"LITTLE - guuuuuuuuuurl - YOU'RE GOIN' TO - Floor 13, eternal damnation, sulfur, and buggery!"
>>30314410Ascend to the 90th floor, then go up and down from 90 to 99 repeatedly while playing "Running in the 90s" as loud as possible.http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BJ0xBCwkg3E
>>30314410Explore the other floors. Make the girls go explore and report back. If they never make it, well they did kill a guy.
>>30314410Let the smoke figures take them.>and our role as Judger of Souls begins
>>30314410>>Leave the doors open on the 12th floor12... or 13?
Rolled 54>>30314410Play some green day."Little Girl. Little Girl why are you cryin? Inside your restless soul your heart is dyin."Loop and distort as necessary.
>>30314410I'm curious about how scary the tenth floor is because 9 is good and 11 is bad. Dump them there.
>>30314410Family Guy clip.>"GET NAKED YOU STRANGE WHORE!"
>>30314442You were on the 13th floor, closed the door, descended to the 12th floor, and opened it to the smoky place.
>>30314492No I meant as asking the girls if they wanted the 12 or else they can go back to the 13th floor.
Rolled 1, 1 = 2>>30314425>>30314429>>30314440>>30314441>>30314458>>30314464
>>30314518Going up!The doors close, leaving only a faint trace of smoke inside your car as you ascend upward."What's going to happen to us?" one of the girls asks the other.""Please, don't take us back there! We're sorry! We're so sorry!"You arrive on the 16th floor and open the doors, and a blinding bright glare shines in, obliterating all sight in a white light. Strange whining sounds fill the air, rising and falling in pitch like Doppler effects.What do you do?>Leave the doors open on the 16th floor>Descend to the 12th floor>Deliver the girls to the 13th floor>Deliver the girls to the 9th floor>Explore other floors>Remain in place and await service>Write in choice
>>30314637Really~ really~Tease a few more horror floors.Then:>>Deliver the girls to the 9th floor
>>30314410>>30314464Disgorge them. Play a travel agency advertisement about getting out and exploring the world while there's still time. Maybe throw in something about FABULOUS PRIZES for those that act now.
>>30314637>Leave the doors open on the 16th floor
>>30314637>Play sounds of car accidents at max volume complete with shrieking and "OH GOD HE'S DEAD!"
Rolled 1, 2 = 3>>30314660>>30314661>>30314668
Rolled 28>>30314637Play that Green-Day Clip. Go down to the 13th floor so that it's lit up, play the clip, and open the door just enough to allow a tiiiiny bit of the darkness to slip through. Slowly open the door as the clip repeats itself, growing more and more distorted the further the doors get until suddenly, with an angry, painfully loud electronic rumble, open the doors fully and let the darkness finally claim their broken and sinful minds~
>>30314685Going down!The button for the 13th floor lights up as you descend, and the girls shriek and gasp when your doors slide open a crack before closing off again, drawing an angry rumble from the floor beyond. A long moment passes as the two girls huddle together, clutching each other like toddlers, before the light for the 12th floor lights up, eliciting a moaning wail of terror from both of them in tandem as a thin trail of smoke works its way inside.Their wracking coughs subside as you descend once more, down past the nightmarish fury of the 11th floor to what lies below.On the 10th floor you open your doors, and beyond lies a vacuous expanse of nothingness, a black void howling with endless pitiless silence. "Are- are we supposed to-" one of them begins to ask, as they timidly pull themselves off the floor by the handrail, but just as they approach the edge of your car you close the doors once more, descending down yet again to the 9th floor!The pair stumbles out, nearly uncomprehending.What do you do?>Descend to the 8th floor>Explore other floors>Remain in place and await service>Write in choice
>>30314839invite them back in, in exchange for their loyalty
>>30314839Explore other floors.
>>30314839Leave the shaft. Go drinking with God.
>>30314839Check out that 8th floor, and see what kinda kool kids we can pick up.
>>30314839>>Explore other floors3rd floor.
>>30314839Remain in place, wait for them to return. Ask them of their travels in a cheerful jingly voice.
>>30314839Go back to B13 and check on the worker imps.
>>30314839Stare into the abyss of 10 for a while, then stare into the abyss of 16.
>>30314839>>Remain in place and await service
>>30314839>>30314914>>30314907Go to 10, contemplate the void for a while, beep in defiance of the nothingness, then return to nine and see what's up with the girls.
>>30314979WHAT... IS LIFE'S... MUSIC?
>>30314839Travel to floor 42
>>30314874>>30314881>>30314895>>30314900>>30314912The pair of girls flinch and hurry away from you as you invite them to come on in and smell the apple pie, leaving you alone with a doubtful-eyed cherub drifting slowly beyond your reach. Going down!You descend to the 8th floor, and the man in the suit steps in! "Nice work today. Pretty good start. A worker like that deserves to be rewarded. Anything you had in mind?" he asks, patting his jacket for a cigar."Any... place you'd like to go?"What do you do?>Wish for something>Explore other floors>Remain in place and await service>Write in choice
>>30315115>"Any... place you'd like to go?"Sideways.
>>30315115Ask for the ability to travel side ways
>>30315158>>30315159>>30315165REQ for best quest on /tg/.
>>30315115Sideways. If he says he can't do that, close doors.
>>30315115"We... want.... FREEDOM."Elevator goes full Charlie and the chocolate factory freakout (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2Zail7Gdqro) and then we disgorge him on ten, letting the void take him.Nobody tells us we're a "good" elevator.
>>30315115Wish for knowledge and understanding. Maybe with that we can better help our passengers. We can either bring them where they want, or where they truly deserve based on their actions, and the circumstances surrounding it.
>>30315183Found a pic finally.
>>30315115I WANNA BE A REAL BOY
>>30315115SidewaysWe will be the great glass elevator
>>30315158>>30315159>>30315165"Ho-ho-ho-ho," he laughs, drawing a cigar to his mouth. "An elevator going sideways? I've never heard of such a thing!"He clicks the lighter and a flame springs forth, but he pauses before it touches the cigar's tip and glances up at you."Well, why not? After all, I did say you'd be rewarded!"He begins to draw on the cigar, igniting it, when suddenly you feel your fetters melt away and you spring free of the prisoner's shaft that has bound you through your entire existence!Through the wall of the building you fly, out over a vast sprawling city of gleaming skyscrapers, ancient brickwork, and crowds, endless crowds of people spilling out in all directions! You fly farther, tracing the curve of the earth over fields, past lolling cows that startle in your presence, and over a gulf and a vast ocean, sparkling in the sun! Dolphins leap skyward, straining to reach your height as you speed ever on, through sights undreamed of, when suddenly...you are back in the shaft again!"How was that?" the man in the suit asks, exhaling a cloud of smoke and pressing the button for the 18th floor.What do you do?>Ask for more wishes>Ascend to the 18th floor>Descend to the B13th floor>Explore other floors>Remain in place and await service>Write in choice
>>30315339DOORS SHUTKEEP HIM IN
>>30315339>>Ascend to the 18th floor
>>30315339>>Ascend to the 18th floorNext time we have to ask him to make it permanent.
>>30315339You see brothers? You see how he mocks us? No gods! No kings! This is our shaft@NEXT STOP TEN MOTHERFUCKER.
>>30315339Ascend to 18th floor.
>>30315339Trap him. Deliver him to Floor Nine to face judgment!
>>30315409Am I the only one with no fucking clue how this vote system works?
>>30315409"Wha-" the man in the suit begins to say as your doors snap shut and the button for the 10th floor lights up."Trying to make a hard bargain, eh?" he asks, drawing in another inhalation of cloying smoke and exhaling it in a chuckle.The yawning blackness of the 10th floor opens before him, an understated threat that in this shaft, you rule supreme."What exactly are we doing here, friend?" he asks. "I can't get you out of the building permanently. That's out of my hands."What do you do?>Remain on the 10th floor with the doors open>Make a deal>Explore other floors>Remain in place and await service>Write in choice
>>30315514I don't get it either
>>30315514>>30315534Many aspects of the supernatural are a mystery.But they are basically coin flips.
>>30315516Take him to BF13
>>30315516"Give her the truth, give her some Westland's""You wouldn't lie when presented with a Farley's Apple Pie!"
>>30315516Force him out, then follow him into nonexistence.You can't bear to exist this way any longer.
>>30315516Ask for insight on how to judge the merit of your passengers.
>>30315516Remain. Try for a better deal. The ability to go sideways permanently, at least.
>>30315567I love this kind of character, so I am compelled to support this.
>>30315516Play a jingle about debt consolidation services."It's time for a new start!"We're going to find out just what he can offer. Otherwise it's tensville for him until one of us dies. And we're a goddamn elevator. Hope he like the ambiance.
>>30315516All right, if he likes to play games:Take him to the 16th floor.>captcha: nondescent ccoffircaptcha knows how it is.
>>30315516>I can't get you out of the building permanently.Become one with a building.
>>30315594>>30315567I change my vote to this.
>>30315516Stand against the devil
>>30315567>>30315574>>30315584>>30315594>>30315610Going up!The doors slide closed and you rise up the shaft to the 16th floor, and the man in the suit throws up a hand to shield his eyes from the glare it brings when the doors open once more!He backs up away from the light and the constantly droning whines rising and falling in pitch beyond your car."We can make a deal!" he shouts, struggling to be heard over the escalating noise. "One minute of freedom for every passenger you bring us!"What do you do?>Accept his offer>Leave the doors open on the 16th floor>Take him to the B13th floor>Remain in place and await service>Write in choice
>>30315829Leave the doors open.He's lying.
>>30315829>Remain in place and await service
>>30315829>make it one hour, and I might CONSIDER it.
>>30315829Close the doors partway.
>>30315829Close the doors.... a little. One minute is pretty thin."It's never just a minute when you're enjoying a fresh made Farley's apple pie!"
>>30315829Remain open and await service."I can't keep you out of this floor permanently. It's out of my hands."
>>30315927"I can't get you out of THIS FLOOR permanently. That's out of my hands."THIS FLOOR is spliced together from jingles, and the rest is in the man's voice.
>>30315854>>30315858>>30315859>>30315891>>30315894"An hour? That's crazy! That's- OK! OK!" he shouts as your doors begin to slip shut before slamming wide open again, exposing him to the full fury of the 16th floor and your abrasive mash of jingles."All right, we can make a deal! Tell you what... deliver one of those broads in the white suits to us, and you've got a deal. One whole hour of freedom per passenger. Well?" he demands, as he frantically jabs the button for the 1st floor.What do you do?>Descend to the lobby>Remain on the 16th floor with the doors open>Remain in place and await service>Write in choice
>>30316022We take him to floor 13b
>>30316022DEAL.>we will make both heaven and hell our bitches
>>30316022Keep the door open. Make it permanent so long as we bring in one passenger per year or we toss him into 10.
>>3031602218th floor.Close on him halfway out, just to hold him there, not cut him in half.
>>30316022Take him to the 18th floor. The button he originally pressed
>>30316022Kick his ass off on one, play a prerecorded message saying we thank them for riding, and there if they like there are surveys where they can rate our service in the lobby.Now let's find one of those angels and see if they'll cut us a better deal.
Rolled 2, 1, 1 = 4>>30316045>>30316052>>30316056>>30316057>>30316083>>30316092
>>30316092Gonna have to go with this one. The guy's deal is shit. No matter what, we can never be free while chained to his wretched cigar-smoking ass.Or remain open on 16th floor.
>>30316092>>30316164I agree with these fellowsnever trust the devil
>>30316118Going down!Your doors close once more and the man in the suit wipes his brow as you descend, but you pass by the 1st floor and proceed downward still, into the sub-basements and the B13th floor!Again the doors open, and the disjointed maze of machinery looms, hissing and sparking, and the imps wave to your passenger in lazy greeting."Funny," he says as he steps out. "Remember friend, just that one thing and you'll be set for life."TO BE CONTINUED
>>30316272Oh god damnit. Guess we'll have to toast his white ass in the next thread.Until then!~
>>30316272I don't know why I can't stop playing this, but I look forward to the next thread.Though vile the clay and long the mile, some day brothers and sisters, someday we will achieve sideways.
>>30316385>someday we will achieve sideways.Them's inspirin' words, there.
Oh good, the thread has already been archived. http://suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/archive/30311207/
This was the best thing I've ever participated in.
>>30316327>>30316385>>30316459>>30316546>>30316551I'm glad everyone had fun!
>>30316670didn't get a chance to vote, but this quest was fun to read anyway. Great work
>>30316670when shall the elevator return?
>>30316670>http://suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/archive/30311207/How is this going to continue? Will it be on this same thread? When will it be continued?
>>30318072this thread is 80 posts into autosage