>>30311207
>>Descend to 1st floor

Descend to 1st floor.

>>30311207
>Write in choice
Go down to the first floor, but get stuck about halfway to the door, and then open (so the top half of the 1st floor doorway goes to the elevator, the bottom half is open to the bottom of the elevator shaft).

>>30311207
Don't press any buttons wait until someone else calls the elevator but don't get off just sit there in the corner watching as the other go on with their lives.

>>30311220
>>30311223
Going down!

You descend to the 1st floor in a smooth and uneventful series of motions, gliding through the shaft to the lobby. The doors open and a man in a suit steps in!

He presses the button for the 8th floor.

What do you do?

>Ascend to 8th floor
>Ascend to different floor
>Remain in place and await service
>Write in choice

>>30311275
>>Ascend to 8th floor

>>30311275
Ascend to the 9th floor

>>30311285
Going up!

You begin to ascend, and as you pass the 2nd floor, someone on the 4th floor presses the button to go up!

What do you do?

>Continue ascending to the 8th floor
>Stop on the 4th floor
>Remain in place and await service
>Write in choice

>>30311275
Ascent to 8th floor.

>>30311327
>>Stop on the 4th floor

>>30311327
Continue to the 8th floor

>>30311327
Fuck that guy. WE ASCEND.

>>30311332
Going u-

"You made the right choice, elevator," the man in the suit says as he lights a cigar, in clear violation of the NO SMOKING sign affixed to your side wall.

"I'm not the kind of person you want to keep waiting."

What do you do?

>Let him out on the 8th floor
>Remain in place and await service
>Write in choice

>>30311376
>>Remain in place and await service

>>30311376
Let him out on the 8th floor, for this man is clearly an agent of some greater force. The last then we want is to become, say a cursed regular elevator.

>>30311376
Let him out on the 8th floor

>>30311376
>Smoking
Fucker.
Remain in place.
Failing that, freefall.

Rolled 2

>>30311400
>>30311413
>>30311417
>>30311439

>>30311439
>freefalling from the 8th floor
please think anon

>>30311456

"Wise decision," the man in the suit says, exhaling a fume like a dragon as the doors slide open.

Someone on the 10th floor presses the button!

What do you do?

>Descend to 4th floor
>Ascend to 10th floor
>Remain in place and await service
>Write in choice

>>30311524
Stop an inch and a half above the 10th floor.

>>30311524
Ascend to the top floor, fuck this guy

>>30311524
>>Ascend to 10th floor

>>30311546
No, a few inches below where you would stop on the tenth. Trip the tosser up.

>>30311524
>>Descend to 4th floor
That poor guy still waiting for us.

>>30311524
Stop at 10th floor, let person on, immediately descend at high speed to 4th floor.

>>30311546
Going up...up... a little more up... too much!

The doors slide open on the 10th floor with part of your underside visible in the darkness of the elevator shaft, and your floor forming an inconveniencing and possibly workplace-accessibility-violating step!

A woman in a white dress glances at your floor for a moment, then steps inside, waving her hand to clear the smoke fumes before pressing the button for the 3rd floor.

What do you do?

>Descend to 4th floor
>Descend to 3rd floor
>Remain in place and await service
>Write in choice

>>30311639
>>Descend to 4th floor

>>30311639
Descent at a rapid speed to the 2nd floor.

>>30311639
Descend to 4th floor, let the person there on, then go to whatever floor they want before going back to the 3rd floor.

I approve, /tg/. We ain't no faggy white elevator.

>>30311651
Going down!

You descend through the elevator shaft to the fourth floor and the doors open, revealing a child and a pair of adults, all wearing shorts and t-shirts!

The child presses the button for the 9th floor.

What do you do?

>Descend to 3rd floor
>Ascend to 9th floor
>Remain in place and await service
>Write in choice

>>30311639
Dramatically drop to the 4th floor

>>30311698
>>Write in choice
Go up to the 11th floor, we aren't slave to no humans.

>>30311698
>>Ascend to 9th floor

>>30311698
9th floor it is

>>30311698
Down to 3rd first.

>>30311698
Get stuck on the 6th floor

>>30311698
>Descend to 3rd floor

>>30311698
Dramatically ascend to 9th floor, to give the kids more fun from it.

>>30311709
>>30311715
>>30311764
Have you guys just convenientyly forgot the lady who wants off at the 3rd?

>>30311708
Going up!

You begin to rise, higher and higher, passing the 9th floor!

"Daddy, what's wrong?" the child wails.

"I don't know, Janey!" her father shouts as he drops to one knee, clutching her.

"Elevator!" the woman in the white dress says emphatically as the doors open on the 11th floor. "You must do as you are bid! Deliver them to their rightful floor!"

What do you do?

>Descend to 9th floor
>Descend to 3rd floor
>Remain in place and await service
>Write in choice

>>30311792
descend to halfway between 9 and 10.

>>30311792
>>Remain in place and await service

>>Remain in place and await service

>>30311792
>Remain in place and await service

>>30311792
>Write in
The "FUCK YOU I WON'T DO WHAT YOU TELL ME" part of "Killing in the Name Of" by Rage Against the Machine blares on the speakers

>>30311792
>>Descend to 9th floor

Sorry Miss White Dress.

>>30311812
>>30311835
These.

Rolled 2

>>30311812
>>30311814
>>30311829
>>30311834
>>30311848

>>30311861
>Skipping a perfeclty good option

>>30311834
>Remain in place and await service

Rolled 5, 3 = 8

>>30311792
i roll to seduce

>>30311861

"Daddy, I'm scared!" the child cries as the doors remain yawning open, revealing the lightning-scarred hellscape beyond your floor.

"This can't be right!" the mother sobs. "We were- we were good!"

"Elevator, you MUST deliver them to the 9th floor!" the woman in the white dress shouts.

What do you do?

>Descend to 9th floor
>Descend to 3rd floor
>Remain in place and await service
>Write in choice

>>30311899
>Remain in place and await service

>>30311919
>Descend to 3rd floor

>>30311920
Ascend as far up as you can go

Remain in place.

Await.

SERVICE.

>>30311919

>Descend to the 9th floor

But do so in shuddering, jerking movements, as if we really, really don't want to.

>>30311919
Higher.

>>30311919
>>Write in choice

Decend to the First floor. If high numbers are bad then lower numbers must be good!

>>30311940
Ascend as far up as you can go, then freefall.

>>30311919
KEEP ASCENDING
ASCEND TO HEAVEN

HOW HIGH IS THIS FUCKING BUILDING HOLY SHIT

>>30311939
Going down!

You descend down the elevator shaft to the 3rd floor in a smooth motion and the doors open, but the woman in the white dress doesn't step out right away.

"Please-" she begins to say to you, then stops herself and looks at the family and steps out, just as someone on the 2nd floor presses the button to summon you!

What do you do?

>Ascend to 9th floor
>Descend to 2nd floor
>Remain in place and await service
>Write in choice

>>30312006

Aren't skyscrapers like 50 stories tall or something?

>>30312020
Ascend as far up as you can go, then freefall.

>>30312020
Whoosh up to 9th floor to let family out, then descend to 2nd floor.

But fake the person there out by opening and closing and opening the doors again.

>>30312020
Turn off.

>>30312020
>>Descend to 2nd floor
MORE PEOPLE

>>30312020
>>Descend to 2nd floor

>>Descend to 2nd floor
MORE PEOPLE

>>30312020

Go to the 8th floor. They'll need to earn their 9th floor.

>>30312020
Gather people until someone has pushed every floor button, then let them all out in sequence from 1 upwards.

File: 1392685019845.png-(188 KB, 369x253, Beyond.png)

188 KB PNG

>>30312006

>>30312020
Go up to floor 9, then sideways to floor 9B.

>>30312033
Going up!

The doors slide shut, enclosing the family within you as you begin to rise, higher and higher, past the 5th floor, past the 9th floor, past the 13th floor, farther and farther up, as the humans inside you scream and grasp at each other insensately, choking themselves raw with the vigor of their terror, when suddenly you slow to a halt and hang for a brief instant before plunging downward, renewing their cries of anguish!

GOING DOWN!

The family's cries have been reduced to blats and painful wracked sobs as you arrive on the 1st floor!

What do you do?

>Ascend to 9th floor
>Ascend to 2rd floor
>Remain in place and await service
>Write in choice

>>30312110
>Write in choice

Begin blasting Queen's "We Are The Champions" over the speakers. Do nothing else.

>>30312110
Pretend to start opening the doors, the immediately close them!

>>30312110
Go to the 2nd floor.

>>30312110
>>Ascend to 2rd floor

>>30312110
>>Ascend to 9th floor

Then open the doors one inch.

>>30312110
>>Ascend to 2rd floor
Pick up those people

Rolled 1, 2 = 3

>>30312121
>>30312122
>>30312124
>>30312125
>>30312129
>>30312133

>>30312148
OH YOU'LL PLAY QUEEN BUT YOU WON'T PLAY RAGE AGAINST THE MACHINE? IS THIS /tg/ OR /mu/?

>>30312159
/mu/ doesn't really like either.

Open up your doors then as soon as someone tries to cross them, close as hard as you can.

>>30312148

From within your speakers blares a cacophony of sound, blotting out their shouts, first some kind of loud pol-rap thing and then this other old song but it's really loud, as the doors open tauntingly just long enough to afford the family a glimpse at the outside universe before sliding shut, trapping them inside!

What do you do?

>Ascend to 9th floor
>Ascend to 2rd floor
>Remain in place and await service
>Write in choice

>>30312205
Open the doors just enough for them to see outside, but not enough for them to go through.

>>30312205
Go as high as you can and open the doors.

>>30312205
Open up your doors then as soon as someone tries to cross them, close as hard as you can.

>>30312205
Release the bees

>>30312205
>Ascend to 9th floor
Why are we picking on this family specifically, again?

>>30312205
>>Ascend to 2rd floor
New friends!

>>30312240
I'd like to second this motion.

>>30312205
Ascend to 9th floor and play 'Hallelujah' chorus.

>>30312205

"Only one of you may exit on this floor." You have 30 seconds or I will enter freefall."

Start counting backwards then open the doors so they can all go.

Never have I been more glad that tg isn't an Elevator...

>>30312295
>he doesn't want to ride the demented elevator of the damned

Mr. Buzzkill, over here.

Loosen the maintenance panel on the roof and let it fall to the floor.
Play a recording of a voice saying "I will open the doors when someone lays dead."
Don't open the doors afterward.

>>30312220

Again the doors slide open, teasingly revealing the lobby beyond, but far too narrow to allow them passage!

The father snatches the child's arm back as she begins to reach for the opening, as he looks around the inside of your car, wide-eyed with silent terror.

"Please... please, I'm begging you-" he chokes. "We-we-we-don't want anything, we just want to go to the 9th floor. Please, we didn't- we didn't do anything to you. WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS TO US?"

What do you do?

>Ascend to 9th floor
>Ascend to 2rd floor
>Remain in place and await service
>Write in choice

>>30312295

>Regular Stairway Quest
>591 posts and 28 image replies omitted. Click here to view.

>>30312333
Ascend to 9th floor.

Play Nelson's "haw haw" when the doors open and they run away screaming.

>>30312333
THE BEES

>>30312333
In a robotic, MS Sam voice say "Because..." and then start blaring "Sexy Back" by Justin Timberlake.

>>30312333
>>Ascend to 9th floor

>>30312333
>Ascend to 9th floor

>>30312333
>Write in choice
Tell them that you will let them out if they do as we please. Then proceed to take all peopel who called us with us and trascend to the highest floor. If anyone tries to escape, intimidate with freefall.

>>30312333
>>Ascend to 9th floor
Alright. Let em go. We had our fun.

>>30312333
>Ascend to 9th floor
Fiiiine.

>>30312333

>Ascend to the 9th floor

But do it at 1/20th at normal speed, and don't open the doors for like 20 minutes.

>>30312333

>"No reason. Just felt like some fun. Have a nice day."

>>30312333
"You may exit here, but one must be left behind.

>>30312333
Ascend to 9th floor than close the doors shut as hard and fast as you can when they try to cross.

>>30312333
>Write in choice
Then them that you'll only let them out if the mother fucks her son

>>30312333
Go all the way to the 9th floor, say "Targets verified. Commencing hostilities." and then begin rapidly moving between 10th and 8th floor, turning them into a meat-milkshake

>>30312438
>>>b

>>30312363

After what seems to be an eternity you rise, ascending to the 9th floor and opening the doors with a soundbite that they may recollect at some point in the future, but for now the three of them stumble-drag each other out of your car.

Someone on the 5th floor presses the button to summon you!

What do you do?

>Descend to 2rd floor
>Descend to 5th floor
>Remain in place and await service
>Write in choice

>>30312465
>Write in choice

Release the bees.

Begin moving up and down in an erratic manner, never more than a few feet at a time. Do so with the door open just a crack so they can see outside.

>>30312465
>Await service

>>30312465
2nd floor

>>30312465

>Descend to the 5th floor.

Collect our next victim.

>>30312465
>Descend to 5th floor

>>30312465
> Write in choice

Cease with our day-job as an elevator and become a full-time avatar of corruption and fear.

>>30312465
>Descend to 5th floor

>>30312465
2nd floor to pick up person there, then rapidly ascend to 5th floor.

>>30312465
>Descend to 2nd floor

>>30312465
Descend to floor B1

>>30312465

After we pick somebody up, we should ascend to geostationary orbit.

>>30312477
>Do so with the door open just a crack so they can see outside.
The bees? You are currently empty of passengers.

>>30312478
BZZZZ!

The SERVICE NEEDED light clicks on, and you remain on the 9th floor. A pair of floating cherubs cautiously approach close to your open doors, but not far enough to find themselves inside you before fluttering away. A faint scrim of strawberry-scented fog has begun to drift inside of your car by the time a repairman arrives and steps inside of you. He kneels, opening a panel and inspecting your wiring.

What do you do?

>Begin working again
>Remain where you are
>Descend to 2nd floor
>Descend to 5th floor
>Write in choice

>>30312465

Attempt moving sideways.

>>30312567
>>Descend to 2nd floor

>>30312567
teleport to a different elevator shaft

>>30312567

Play clips of sensual moaning.

>>30312567

Snap doors shut and function normally. Freefall to the 1st floor.

We have caught our first kill, gentlemen.

>>30312567
>descend to 2nd floor

>>30312567
>Descend to 2nd floor

>>30312567
Take him on the wildest ride of his life.

>>30312567
>descend to 2nd floor

>>30312567
"Repairman, please, shove your fat monkey wrench into my circuit panel!"

>>30312567
Not the Heaven elevator twist again...

>Write in choice
Shut one of the repairment and a few cherubs in.

>>30312567
Await until maintenance guy shows up.
Then ascend into your true form as a construct of meat and metal, a whirling, grinding, shredding force of power unable to be dealt with by mere mortals. Exit through the roof and exact unholy revenge on the townsfolk.

>>30312567
Ascend to -1st floor

>>30312567
Translate to floor i

>>30312584
Going down!

You descend down the elevator shaft to the 2nd floor in one smooth motion, startling the repairman, who stands up and braces himself!

The doors open on the 2nd floor and the man in the suit with the cigar steps inside! "What, you don't think you're the only elevator in this place, do you?" he asks.

He glances at the repairman and says "Beat it kid, while you still can."

What do you do?

>Allow the repairman to leave
>Keep the repairman here
>Ascend to 5th floor
>Remain in place and await service
>Write in choice

>>30312591
This.

>>30312680
Beeeeeeees

>>30312680
>Keep the repairman here
Why are you not rollling anymore OP?

>>30312680

Do as our cigar-smoking friend suggests and allow him to leave.

Close the doors at doublespeed though and try to catch the repair guys' ankle though.

>>30312680
>>Keep the repairman here
>>Ascend to 5th floor

>>30312680
Close doors, teleport to the elevator shaft of a different building

>>30312680
Remain in place and await service

>>30312680

>Ascend to 9th floor

This guy seems so upstanding I say he goes to heaven.

Close doors.

>>30312680
Talk with the man with cigar and ask him who the hell he is and who the hell we are.

>>30312680
TRANSFORM AND ROLL OUT

>>30312680
Do what the cigar man says.

>>30312680
Trap them both. Release the bees.

Rolled 1

>>30312708
I'll give you a speaker, but no bee hatch.

>>30312716
No teleport hatch either.

>>30312710
I tend to not count anything after I started writing the response.

>>30312717
>>30312721
>>30312711
>>30312713

I'm not sure what's happening in this thread, but it sure seems exciting.

>>30312791
Start playing "I want to be free" through the speakers.

File: 1392687499130.jpg-(48 KB, 300x265, 1369261226484.jpg)

48 KB JPG

Is.... is this a quest about the existential dread of a half aware Bangsian hellevator?

Because if so you are my new favorite person ever op.

>>30312791
The repairman scurries out of your car, shrieking as you pinch his foot with the closing doors. He manages to wiggle free but loses the shoe, which slides along with you as you begin to ascend!

"I know what you're going through," the man in the suit says to you. "You're starting to think about things, about the big picture. They've got you working here all day, every day, and what do they give you for it? Repairs?"

"That might be good for some elevators, but what about the ones that want a little more? A little piece of the action?"

The man in the suit holds up a cigar but doesn't light it as you approach the 9th floor. "Think about it. We could use another elevator like you."

What do you do?

>Ascend to 9th floor
>Remain in place and await service
>Write in choice

>>30312886
Accept offer.

>>30312886

Wiggle enticingly up and down to communicate our enthusiasm for the cigar man's offer.

>>30312886
>"I know what you're going through,"
Cigar man used to be an elevator.

>>30312886
>>Ascend to 9th floor

>>30312886
Ascend to 9th floor. Let him keep talking.

>>30312886
Start playing http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VVtD4qMy5Hc as you reach the 9th floor, but don't open the doors untill he presses the open doors button.

>>30312886
Begin playing Soviet anthem.

Freefall.

FOR GLORY OF PROLETARIAT!

>>30312886
Light up a series of floor lights illuminating a "Y". Ding enthusiastically.

>>30312886
Rapidly turn lights on and off

File: 1392687715077.jpg-(1.69 MB, 1621x1513, 1369357418314.jpg)

1.69 MB JPG

>>30312886
>>Ascend to 9th floor

"Thank you for your company. Have a wonderful day."

>>30312886
Go sideways, fuck these people and their rails

File: 1392688112442.jpg-(116 KB, 636x460, 1378242097958.jpg)

116 KB JPG

>>30312929
This.

>>30312911
>>30312912
>>30312916
>>30312919
>>30312922

"Welcome to the winning side, friend," he says. "We're not asking much. Just a few people a day, delivered to the 13th floor. I'll stop by later and see how you're doing."

"One more thing," he stop, turning, chomping the cigar in his mouth. "Watch out for broads in white suits. They're up to no good."

The doors slide open and he steps out onto the 9th floor, wrinkling his nose at the strawberry mist that permeates everything before lighting the cigar and blowing a huge plume at a stray cherub.

What do you do?

>Descend to 5th floor
>Remain in place and await service
>Write in choice

>>30313096
Go sideways, leave the confines of our bidirectional movement prison

>>30313096
Attempt to move sideways.

>>30313124

Yeah. Lets see if we can.

>>30313096
Move sideways.

>>30313096
The guy in the black suit is obviously the devil, and the women in white dresses are the angels, but what about the family? Are the normal people? Are we the afterlife elevator or something?

Rolled 2

>>30313096
Move forward in time and space. Achieve ascension.

>>30313096

Go to 5th floor.

Deliver EVERYONE TO 13th FLOOR.

EVERYONE.

>>30313096

Blink your floor lights in a pattern that resembles the Transformers Universal Greeting.

Rolled 38

>>30313224
Mwee bop nee grop ninnybob

>>30313224
>>30313245

Thirded.

>>30313124
>>30313127
>>30313140
>>30313141

You strain as hard as you can, causing the SERVICE NEEDED light to flicker on and off, as your very walls grind with unseen strain...

but alas, you are forever bound in your prisoner's shaft!

Unless...

What do you do?

>Descend to 5th floor
>Remain in place and await service
>Write in choice

>>30313284
>>Descend to 5th floor

>>30313284
Try harder

>>30313284

Descend to 5th Floor.

>>30313284

Ascend to Enlightenment.

If our body cannot leave this prison, our mind can.

>>30313284
Come to the realization that we cannot leave the rails, for that is impossible. Instead, focus on the truth; that there are no rails.

>>30313284
Contemplate our tortured half life, and what mad deity might have wrought such an existence.

Then beep once.

>>30313284
Don't descend to 5th floor, ascend to 5th floor.

>>30313303
Going down!

Your doors pinch shut, trapping a wayward puff of strawberry-scented mist as you smoothly descend through the torturous confinement of your prisoner's shaft... you never looked at it this way before!

The doors open on the 5th floor and a pair of old men dragging oxygen tanks step in and press the button for the 11th floor.

What do you do?

>Ascend to the 11th floor
>Ascend to the 13th floor
>Remain in place and await service
>Write in choice

>>30313346
>Then beep once.

And then, beep again.

Beep, and notice that the energy required to do so is coming from the outside.

Stretch the tendrils of your unfathomable mind into the aether and try to project yourself through the power grid that grants you life.

>>30313366

We're going up.

Forever.

>>30313386
>>DESCEND to the B13th floor

>>30313386
Inquire about oxygen tanks.

>>30313386
Ascend to 12th floor and then the fogeys take a gamble

>>30313386
Descend to floor B666

>>30313386

Turn off all overhead lights as you treat the old men to a lightshow from your floor-choosing board, mapped out in such a way as to display a man going through the major events of his life.

>>30313408
We need to try to keep those tanks and ditch those men.

>>30313386

>Ascend to the 9th floor

Fuck the devil, everyone gets to go to heaven!

>>30313386
Inquire into the old men's lives. Ask why they're here. Then judge them accordingly. We are the masters of our fate, we are the captains of our destiny!

We may only be the masters of this tiny shaft, but here in our realm we are GOD.

>>30313441
Or just go up and down really fast, nod flicker the lights. Try to give them a heart attack

>>30313461

yes

>>30313466

>God is an elevator.
>You trust He will take you where you want to go, but ultimately it is His decision.

>>30313461
Seconding.

>>30313401
Going down!

You descend into the ground, into the sub-basements that regular passengers don't even have the option to travel to!

The temperature inside begins to rise, and one of the old men tugs at his collar and gasps, before the doors slide open on the B13th floor!

A pair of coal-black worker imps pause from their unfathomable toil amidst incalculably large machinery glowing intermittently with scalding heat and arcing with titanic electrical forces, and glance at you. "Hey, you can't bring them down here! Workers only!"

What do you do?

>Ascend to the 11th floor
>Remain in place and await service
>Write in choice

Ascend to the right floor, but then make them wait. Make them wait until all hope is lost, until they consider devouring each other.

Until the most foul thoughts reverberate through their mind.

Then, open. WE ARE NOW PURGATORY ELEVATOR AND WE ARE ABSOLUTE

>>30313441
>>30313466
Both of these. Communicate with old spliced together sound clips from elevator advertisements.

>>30313461

Do it

>>30313501
Ninth floor.

Save these poor souls.

>>30313501

Ascend to 9th Floor

>>30313501
>A pair of coal-black worker imps pause from their unfathomable toil amidst incalculably large machinery glowing intermittently with scalding heat and arcing with titanic electrical forces, and glance at you. "Hey, you can't bring them down here! Workers only!"

Utilize spliced elevator advertisements as >>30313507 and bellow out a single response.

WE ALL TOIL IN THE LABOR THAT IS LIFE.

>>30313501
remain in place

No imp can tell us what to do.

>>30313501
9th floor
jeez, we have one job

>>30313501
>"Holgens lotion makes your hands smoother than a nun's pert buttock!"

>"Thaaaaaaaaaaaat's Holgens!"

File: 1392689576300.jpg-(37 KB, 1280x720, tada_banri.jpg)

37 KB JPG

If heaven is on floor 9, and hell is on floor 13, what is on the other floors?

>>30313624
>If heaven is on floor 9, and hell is on floor 13, what is on the other floors?
Porn mostly

>>30313507
>>30313514
>>30313533
>>30313534
>>30313541

With solemn reverence, you utilize your button array to give the men a view of all the stages of life, from infancy to old age, and then ascend with purpose, slowing to a halt and opening your doors upon the splendor of the 9th floor once more.

"Wh-what is this?" one of the old men asks the other? "Can it be?"

"Then... then He did not care what we have done!" the other exclaims. "They deserved what they got, the lot of them!"

The two old men begin to wheel their oxygen tanks out of your car.

Someone on the 6th floor pushes the button to summon you!

What do you do?

>Descend to the 6th floor
>Remain in place and await service
>Write in choice

>>30313624

Floor 11 was pretty scary. Maybe it's Hell lite?

>>30313624
Well, the 11th floor looks like this:

>>30311919

>>30313651
Close the door on the old man's leg. Drag him up to the thirteenth.

>"LOL J/K!"

>>30313651

Shut doors to trap the oxygen tanks.

Where they're going, they don't need oxygen tanks.

Descend to 6th floor with pure oxygen venting into the elevator.

>>30313651
>>Descend to the 6th floor

>>30313651
explore the floors a bit, see whats out there

>>30313651
>>Descend to the 6th floor

Time to bring more people to heaven!

>>30313651

Wonder what those two did.

>>30313651
Go to the sixth floor because we CHOOSE to. The buttons are mere supplications. Prayers by the unworthy beings that beg for our mercy.

>>30313746
>Play soundbite before the doors close.

"HEIL HITLER!"

>>30313651
Close doors before they can leave.
Inquire as to what they had done.

>>30313746

They were Crusaders.

>>30313746

Maybe they fought in a war and killed some enemy soldiers?

>>30313684
>>30313693
>>30313697
>>30313708
>>30313714

One of the old men manages to escape to the 9th floor, but the other one isn't so lucky, as you clasp him in your doors and force him back inside!

Going up!

You rise up the prisoner's shaft to the 13th floor, and as the doors open the old man weakly crawls backward further into your car, as licks of shadowy flames spill and play over your interior walls.

"No, no please, take Frank instead, not me, not meeeeee-" the old man cries as something dark and formless reaches into your car and drags him out.

What do you do?

>Descend to the 6th floor
>Explore other floors
>Remain in place and await service
>Write in choice

>>30313765
>Inquire as to what they had done.

Do this through using the McFarley's Apple Pie and Westland Lingerie jingles.

>Give her the truth, give her some Westland's
>You wouldn't lie when presented with a Farley's Apple Pie!

>>30313813
The balance has been maintained.

Time for an elevator beer.

>>30313813
>>Explore other floors
7th floor

>>30313813

Turn on the smooth jazz muzak as you descend to the 6th floor.

Alternatively, play The Gonk.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=V66m52YFZBg

>>30313813
>>Write in choice

"Hey! Come inside me, I'll take you to floor 9. It'll be great, there's roses and shit!"

>>30313813
Lets go explorin'

>>30313813
Look, we need to get our shit together. If we're going to become the god of this elevator shaft we can't just go damning and redeeming people all willy nilly.

Also we need to start a cult.

>>30313816
And fuck yes we only communicate through jingles.

>>30313816
This.

>>30313852
We're not God of the Shaft.

We're Death. We're just a functionary who takes people where they need to go.

>>30313816

And then when they aren't telling the truth you start to speed up and distort the McFarley's jingle's ending bits so it sounds like

>lie lie lie lie lie lie lie

File: 1392690544117.png-(147 KB, 457x343, tumblr_mii63qGScL1s6tpfuo1_500.png)

147 KB PNG

>>30313886
>Settling for being a glorified tin psychopomp.
It's like you don't even want to seize our will to power. Disgusting.

>>30313816
No no, even better. We only speak through jingles, and they're only vaguely related to the questions people ask. Like zen koans made entirely of shitty 50s advertising.

>>30313816
>>30313827
>>30313828
>>30313832
>>30313850
>>30313852
>>30313863
Going down!

You close the doors, cutting off the whispering malice beyond, and begin to descend toward the 6th floor, but along the way you stop at the 7th floor and open your doors unexpectedly!

Beyond lies a monumental series of flat granite steps, from which tumble cascades of waterfall. High overhead birds arc, and above them drift white clouds the size of galaxies.

What do you do?

>Descend to the 6th floor
>Explore other floors
>Remain in place and await service
>Write in choice

>>30313982
Ones station in life is inescapable.

>>30313999
Explore other floors

>>30313999
>>Descend to the 6th floor

But catch a bird first

>>30313999
Trap an angel until they start talking. Use our new elevator jingle voice to demand answers about the shaft and the floors. Where people get on, why, ect... We will know all that we possess.

>>30314021

This. Do any of our commercial jingles have bird noises? Like one about Ocean Perfume and seagulls are cawing.

>>30313999
>>Descend to the 6th floor

...Does ground/0th floor exist?

>>30314073

1st floor was the lobby.

We're in an american style elevator.

>>30314016
>>30314021

You remain on the 7th floor, heedless of the summoning you have received from the floor below, patiently, patiently...

A small brown bird flutters to the granite slab nearest your doors and hops delicately toward you, cocking its head inquisitively at a piece of peanut left on your floor.

And then you have it! Trapped inside you, it flits about the inside of your car madly, as the fruit pie jingles blare from your speaker!

Feathers drift in the frantic disturbed air as you descend to the 6th floor and open your doors, allowing the bird to dart out of you as a pair of teenage girls wearing prom dresses step inside, shrieking and guarding their hair as it passes.

One of them presses the button for the 12th floor.

What do you do?

>Ascend to the 12th floor
>Explore other floors
>Deliver them to the 13th floor
>Deliver them to the 9th floor
>Remain in place and await service
>Write in choice

>>30314136
>>Ascend to the 12th floor

>>30314114

Not any more, we're British now. Time to interpret every command as one floor higher than what it actually is.

>>30314136
take them to the 14th floor
fuck the rules

>>30314136
Deliver them to floor 13.

>>30314136
Go to 21st foolr.

>>30314136
>>Ascend to the 12th floor

But see whats outside first.

If it looks like shit, they go to the nineth.

>>30314136

Deliver them to the 32nd floor.

>two teenage promgoers become goddesses of time and space

>>30314136
Just keep moving. Talk to them. Question why they want to go to 12, what they think is there, and why can they trust that? Offer them a place in our new world if they swear fealty to the elevator.

>>30314073
Presumably 0 is the twisting maw, the elemental chaos waiting to swallow everything and everyone.

Rolled 2, 1 = 3

>>30314162
>>30314167
>>30314178
>>30314181
>>30314194

>>30314136
>"Abortion. Is. Murder. Paid for by the national pro-life association."

To floor 13 with the hussies!

>>30314136

"Gosh Billy! How come your mom lets you get FLOOR TWELVE sausages?"

Why do they want to go to an evil shithole floor?

>>30314206
Going up!

The button for the 13th floor lights up on its own as you rise up the prisoner's shaft, opening your doors to disgorge the two girls on the 13th floor!

"Oh God, no! NOOOooo-"

Their shrieks of terror reverberate off the walls of your car!

Someone on the 8th floor presses the button to summon you!

What do you do?

>Close your doors before the girls are dragged out
>Descend to the 8th floor
>Explore other floors
>Remain in place and await service
>Write in choice

>>30314249
>>Close your doors before the girls are dragged out
>>Descend to the 8th floor

>>30314249
Close the door before they're dragged out.

Then open them.

Then close.

Then open.

>>30314249
close doors

>>30314249
>Close your doors before the girls are dragged out

>>30314249

Check out floor 12. See what they're missing.

>>30314249
>>Close your doors before the girls are dragged out
>>Descend to the 8th floor

>>30314249
Save the girls, cryptically guarantee their safety only as long as they do what you want.

Think about it. We need hands and feet outside the elevator. We need servants who can leave this damnable shaft!

>>30314249
Close door so it's only open a crack, so they can see outside but can't fit through.

>>30314269

While asking what did you do in jingles yes

>>30314269
>>30314270
>>30314271
>>30314273
>>30314281
>>30314288
>>30314290
>>30314304

The doors pinch shut, sealing the pair off from the floor beyond your car, and the skipping loop of your jingle repeats, a nightmarish interrogation, over and over as the two roll their eyes and claw at their hair.

"We didn't mean to! We didn't see him coming! It was too dark out! We were drunk!"

You whir to life unexpectedly, lowering yourself down the prisoner's shaft to the floor below and open the doors. Beyond your car is an endless smoky room, from which dry wracking coughs emerge as vague shapes crawl about, disorientated. A bit of smoke drift into your car and the girls begin to cough as well.

What do you do?

>Leave the doors open on the 12th floor
>Descend to the 8th floor
>Explore other floors
>Remain in place and await service
>Write in choice

>>30314410
roll 1d20, take them to that floor

>>30314410
>"LITTLE - guuuuuuuuuurl - YOU'RE GOIN' TO - Floor 13, eternal damnation, sulfur, and buggery!"

>>30314410

Ascend to the 90th floor, then go up and down from 90 to 99 repeatedly while playing "Running in the 90s" as loud as possible.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BJ0xBCwkg3E

>>30314410
Explore the other floors. Make the girls go explore and report back. If they never make it, well they did kill a guy.

>>30314410

Let the smoke figures take them.

>and our role as Judger of Souls begins

>>30314410
>>Leave the doors open on the 12th floor

12... or 13?

Rolled 54

>>30314410
Play some green day.

"Little Girl. Little Girl why are you cryin? Inside your restless soul your heart is dyin."

Loop and distort as necessary.

>>30314410

I'm curious about how scary the tenth floor is because 9 is good and 11 is bad. Dump them there.

>>30314410
Family Guy clip.

>"GET NAKED YOU STRANGE WHORE!"

>>30314442
You were on the 13th floor, closed the door, descended to the 12th floor, and opened it to the smoky place.

>>30314492

No I meant as asking the girls if they wanted the 12 or else they can go back to the 13th floor.

Rolled 1, 1 = 2

>>30314425
>>30314429
>>30314440
>>30314441
>>30314458
>>30314464

>>30314518
Going up!

The doors close, leaving only a faint trace of smoke inside your car as you ascend upward.

"What's going to happen to us?" one of the girls asks the other."

"Please, don't take us back there! We're sorry! We're so sorry!"

You arrive on the 16th floor and open the doors, and a blinding bright glare shines in, obliterating all sight in a white light. Strange whining sounds fill the air, rising and falling in pitch like Doppler effects.

What do you do?

>Leave the doors open on the 16th floor
>Descend to the 12th floor
>Deliver the girls to the 13th floor
>Deliver the girls to the 9th floor
>Explore other floors
>Remain in place and await service
>Write in choice

>>30314637

Really~ really~

Tease a few more horror floors.

Then:
>>Deliver the girls to the 9th floor

>>30314410
>>30314464
Disgorge them. Play a travel agency advertisement about getting out and exploring the world while there's still time. Maybe throw in something about FABULOUS PRIZES for those that act now.