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/tg/ - Traditional Games


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I'M NOT DEAD
http://suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/archive.html?tags=Neckbeard%20Quest
Previous thread

You are now fighting a dog.
>>
>>30053928
tongue strangle it
find out if dogs have souls
>>
>>30053928
Devour it in the Most Cosmically horrifying way possible.
>>
>>30053928
grab it with your tongues
pull it into your mouth
chew
swallow
????
profit!
>>
>I'M NOT DEAD
Can you pretend?
>>
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>>30054027
I've had this in mind for the past week. Unleash the pic related.
>>
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Rolled 2

>>30054034

You unleashed a couple of tongues at the dog, rolling for success.

>>30054037

Wh.. Why do you want me to pretend to be dead?
>>
>>30054118
/tg/ has assholes, pls ignore
>>
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Rolled 21

The dog dodges your grapple and in turn, bites your ankle!
Accumulating damage.

It is your turn again.
>>
>>30054217
Do a high pitched whistle to stun the dog.
>>
>>30054217
if at first you don't succeed, try, try again.
specifically this >>30054034
try that again
>>
>>30054118
I like the idea of your followers being sad. Then we can go get pizza and laugh about it.
>>
>>30054217
Pull dog off leg. Throw through window of nearby house.
>>
>>30054217
Badass dog we've got here.

Let's see if we can scare it off.
Open up as many mouths and tongues as we can. If we can make them all scream, even better. Generally attempt to be a creature that should not be.
>>
>>30054289
Teli isn't mean like that.
I hope you eat your pizza alone and flavor it with tears and regret.
>>
>>30054322
I can flavor it with your mum's feelings of disappointment every time she looks at you.
>>
>>30054357
lol
if only those existed
>>
>>30054217
This hound is fierce. Perhaps we can recruit it as another underling?
>>
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>>30054280

Considering how close and distracted this dog was, you had no trouble on coiling it with your tongue.

"YIP!"
>>
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Then you pull the dog into your mouth.
>>
>>30054989
Attempt to assert dominance over dog, establishing yourself as its alpha so that it may serve you.
>>
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And then you chewed.
Then swallowed.
>>
>>30055050
Well, there goes >>30055032
>>
>>30055050
Make a mental note to buy a basket of puppies at some point.
>>
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You have collected 1 SOUL. This totals up to 4 SOULS.

The dog had no money.
>>
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Well, now that was taken care of, on to the house! It appears one of the inhabitants of the house is at the window.
How do you proceed?
>>
>>30055108
Continue on to house to ransack the fridge.
>>
>>30055264
Lick the window.
>>
>>30055264
Creepily walk towards the window and when it looks like the person is fleeing disappear to another side of the house.
>>
>>30055264
Look for the kitchen.
>>
>>30055264
Stare. Stare into submission.
>>
>>30055032

I FEEL AS THOUGH DOMINANCE WAS ASSERTED.
>>
>>30055264
Use DOG SOUL to summon DOG into HOUSE behind INHABITANT so that INHABITANT cannot FLEE from us.
>>
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>>30055368

You look through the window for the kitchen, you can barely just se-
>>
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>>30055376
>>
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>>
Hello, small child. Are your parents available?
>>
>>30055722
Lick your lips. Or the glass. Or both.
>>
Repeating >>30055505
>>
>>30055722
Poke out your many many tongues and begin licking the window all over.
>>
>>30055840
This
>>
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>>30055840

>Hello, small child.
>Are your parents available?
>>
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Little fucker hid.
>>
HOLY SHIT YOU LIVE!

Also, if you're half as cute as your avatar, you must be beating guys off with a stick.

...wait...
>>
>>30056135
Well, guess you should just invite yourself in then.

Raid their fridge.
>>
>>30056135
Guess that means the game is Hide N Seek. Make like Kris Kringle and hop down the chimney!
>>
>>30056190
>invite yourself in
Through the window.
>>
>>30056135
Oh shit i thought this quest died at like thread #11 or something. anyway climb in through the chimney screaming "ITS SANTA TIME MOTHERFUCKER"
>>
>>30056282
God yes this lets be the grinch
>>
>>30056282
My evil spell of summoning in QTGs for like... a month straight worked eventually.
>>
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>>30056190
>>30056212
>>
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>>
>>30056388
>>30056399
Brutall
>>
>>30056399
THE STEALTHY APPROACH IS ALWAYS THE BEST APPROACH
>>
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Well, that was easy.

Fridge Contains:

Half dozen of eggs
A gallon of whole milk
A half loaf of meatbread
Uncooked bacon
Left over chilli
Head of Lettuce
Five tomatoes
Pudding cups (Chocolate)
Beer
Rootbeer
Ginger Ale
An open can of dog food
A pound of hamburger
A steak
Left over spaghetti
>>
>>30056432
Eat all their pudding cups
>>
>>30056432
Eat everything except the bacon. You gotta fry that shit up.
>>
>Preheat oven to 450
>Acquire bacon
>Weave bacon
>Remove bone from steak and grind the meat
>Combine ground steak and hamburger
>Add egg and bread/crackers to bind
>Form loaf
>Wrap in bacon weave
>Put in pre-heated oven for an hour
>Crush tomatoes
>Add to sauce pan
>Add root beer
>Add spices, like salt, pepper, cayenne, maybe a touch of tobasco and a little sugar
>Cook until liquid evaporates
>Hit it with stick blender until it has a uniform consistency
>Add to meatloaf about fifteen minutes before it's done so it acquires a nice crust
>Beat people to death with barbecue bacon loaf
>>
>>30056432
eat the uncooked bacon, drink the beer
>>
>>30056432
>>30056489
Make delicious meatbread. Serve it to shocked and concerned family when they wake up.
>>
>>30056489
God damn it, now I'm hungry.
>>
>>30056432
Put meat in blender.
Drink Meatshake.
Preheat oven to 20000 degrees
Enjoy Arson #2 with some tasty pudding and save some beer for Minion.
>>
>>30056489

this
>>30056518

then this
>>
>>30056611

without "beating them to death" part, of course.
We can always do that if they refuse to be our minions.
>>
>>30056623
That's part of the joke.

"Hey! I made you this beautiful, delicious meatloaf and homemade root beer barbecue sauce. And now I'm going to bludgeon you with it!"
>>
>>30056632

we may be eldritch soul-eating monstrosity with no sense of right and wrong, but beating people to death with perfectly edible meatloaf is just impolite. And we aren't gonna get much minions if we're impolite.

I mean, we only touched the room charlotte was in when she refused, and we still want to get canon back, even after all his shenanigans.
>>
>>30056432
>>30056295
Double check to see if there isn't any Who roast beast.
>>
>>30056688
I think we only want Cryanon back because he's proven to be harder than a car made of diamonds and our dick when we were eating that dog.
>>
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>>30056458

You ate all their pudding cups.
>>
>>30056846

>hey, kid, ever fancied yourself a minion of evil overlord?
>>
>>30056846
Put spaghetti in pockets, for later spilling.
>>
>>30056963
I like it. Say while doing >>30058956.

Wait, we don't have pockets. We've been running around in the nude for about two days. Acquire something with pockets. We don't want to soil our luxuriant neckbeard with tomato sauce.
>>
>>30059720
Yes, pockets sound good. Kill the dad and steal his clothes.
>>
Man, for whatever reason, I just always imagine Beardstrosity's shenanigans being set to boss music from Rare N64 games.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k4jNjceZX6o
>>
>>30058956
What are we some sort of animal? Put the spaghetti in ziploc bags and THEN pocket them
>>
>>30059923
>What are we some sort of animal?
....are we not?
>>
>>30059834
>not Mad Jack
Please.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bouTIxPSmLo
>>
Back from the brink.
>>
>>30056846
Greet your neighbor and ask what team he plays for
>>
Bump.
>>
Bump.
>>
>>30065514
>Bumping after an hour
At least let it get to page eight first
>>
>>30065582
Bump
>>
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>>30058956
>>30059720

You do not have pockets, the container of left over spaghetti is stored in your secondary mouth.

>Hey, kid, ever fancied yourself a minion of an evil overlord?

"No."
"What are you doing in my house, eating all my food?"
>>
>>30067637
"That's... excellent question. What's to do here? You got playstation? Or cute sister?"
>>
>>30067637
>You just answered your own question kid... though I COULD go for some veal.
>>
>>30067637
Eat the kid. Need more souls.
>>
>>30067637
>"What are you doing in my house, eating all my food?"
Is there any more to say? I am in your house for you food.
>>
>>30067637
"Your house? You seem mistaken. This is my house now."
>>
>>30067637
Recruiting of course! Only the people with the finest food can be allowed to see me and you pass. So how about you come work for me?
>>
>>30067637
No, this is my food now, because this is my house now. Please leave.
>>
>>30067637
Oh, you're not the little kid. Older brother?
>>
>>30067637
Well, then, today's the day to expand your mind! You're going to serve me.
>>
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>>30067690

>You just answered your own question kid... though I COULD go for some veal.

"I think you should leave, monster."

The older boy's raising his bat and taking a defensive stance.
>>
>>30068217
"The fuck is wrong with you? Back OFF!"

Heh.

Eat him.
>>
>>30068217
Eat the kid. He's asking for it.
>>
>>30068217
Are you sure that you don't want to become my minion?
>>
>>30068217
"There are three kinds of people. Me. Minions. And food. Obviously you're not me. And you refused to be my minion. Pity."
>>
>>30068217
O so you want to play ball. Throw the refrigerator at him.
>>
>>30068217
Yank the bat out of his hands with a tongue.
>AN EXCELLENT OFFERING, YOU'RE HIRED.
>>
>>30068217
Any scents of other people in the house? Mother or father? If there are, snake one of our tongues through the house and reel one of them in as a hostage.
>>
>>30068273
This.
>>
>>30068309
>taking hostages when we can just eat them all
>>
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Rolled 3

>>30068270

>Oh? So you want to play ball.

You lift up the fridge with relative ease. Rolling for success.
1, he gets hit
2, you miss
3, he hits the fridge
>>
>>30069069
TRULY WORTHY OF BEING OUR MINION!
>>
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>>30069069
>3, he hits the fridge
i think we invited ourselves into the wrong house guys
>>
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>>30069069

And it's out of the park!
>>
>>30069123
Damn kid got some move.

Wanna become a slave of darkness?
>>
>>30069123
"I like your style, kid. I could use kids with style. Wanna be my minion? We could rob a toy story or somethin."
>>
>>30069123
Take the precious bat with your tongue, of course.
>>
>>30069123
"Homerun!"
start cheering
>>
>>30069123
Excellent. I believe a spot has just opened up on Team Evil.
>>
>>30069123
Jump out of the house and attempt to catch the pop fly.
>>
>>30069123
Damn kid! Nice arms!

Here, let's make a deal. I think it's a pretty good deal. So if you join up with me, I WON'T kill you! But there's more! Yeah, I know, it gets better. See, if you join forces now, not only will you not die horribly, I ALSO will not kill and destroy everyone and everything you've ever loved, all while you helplessly watch.

So what do you think? Pretty sweet deal, right?
>>
>>30069160
>>30069247
>>30069386
>>30069762

We already asked him this, why would he join after he batted his fridge out of the roof?
>>
>>30070017
Mainly by saying this: >>30069762, and then following through when he refuses.
>>
>>30069123
Oh out of bounds. That is strike one. Pick up the dish washer and throw it.
>>
>>30070301
That's a ball, as in foul ball. It's not a strike.

Fuck, Beardy, don't you even know how to baseball?
>>
>>30070017
Beardy is a villain, which I think means monologues. He's also a little bit of a psycho.

The kid refused to be our minion when we casually asked. Now we're going to put on the screws. Be our minion, or we'll murder your family, destroy your home, and leave you with nothing before murdering you and devouring your soul. We won't do that if he joins us. That's the deal.
>>
>>30070538
"All right, slugger... can I call you slugger? Fuck you, I'm going to call you slugger. I ate your fucking dog, by the way. So, you're going to join us. Or what? Or I'm going to eat your parents. I already burned a horse slut to death because she wouldn't join me, and she was fuckable. I mean, kind of. Not that I'm into animals. I might be. I fucked an elf once. Bitch tried to eat my dick. Where was I? Oh, yeah. Serve me or I'll Shang Tsung your ass. Who's Shang Ts- FUCK YOU, KID!"
>>
>>30070496
sshhhh... I'm using it as a way to back talk the kid when we fails to note that. Then i follow up with you don't deserve that bat give it to me.
>>
>>30070587
Yeah, like that. That's a pretty good one.
>>
Rolled 60

>>30070587
This one's pretty good.
>>
>>30070587
Yesss, this.
>>
>>30069123
>Our meatbread!
Follow the bridge with the most dramatic NNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO imaginable.
>>
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>>30069160
>>30069762

>Damn kid! Nice arms!
>How about you become a slave of darkness!
"Why?"
>Because not only I won't kill you, I ALSO won't kill and destroy everyone and everything you've ever loved, all while you helplessly watch.

>So, how about it?
>>
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>>
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>>
>>30071821
Eat them all.
>>
>>30071821
Oh crap, not THE DOG FORCE.
Slap 'em outta the air with your tongue!
>>
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BATTLE INSTIGATED

"I gave you a choice to leave, beast."
>>
>>30071847

oman, more dogs
that means more souls
I don't even feel guilty killing them because they aren't people
eat them all!
>>
>>30071847
This jabroni seems to be handy with a bat. Let's grab it from him first chance we get!

Also eat his dogs
>>
>>30071847
Express your amazement aloud. "Much whistle. such battle. wow. so grand, such slam. hometeam. wow"
>>
>>30071922
lol
>>
>>30071847
Wait, wait, wait.

If we defeat him, do we get his dogs?

A dog army!
>>
>>30071847
Use Tongue Barrage to scoop up as many dogs as possible. Rip and tear. Chew and crunch.
>>
>>30071847
I think I missed a thread. Where's our /d/eviant minion?
>>
>>30072068
we took pity and left him at his shop
>>
>>30072109
We have no pity.

Anyway, attempt to Tongue Spear the dogs.
>>
>>30072154
false
our benevolence is hard-earned but generous
>>
>>30071847
I say again, I say. Take that bat with your tongue!
>>
>>30071856
>>30071882
>>30072318
If you do any of these things, heckle the guy. Be like "hey, batter batter!"

Alternate plan: steal second.
>>
>>30072154
Idea.

We're pretty much a dog right. We're hairy, we've got an insatiable hunger, our tongue is constantly hanging out, we try to mate with everything, we destroy houses, and we have a master... we're totally a dog. Flawless logic, I know.

Perhaps we can attempt to communicate with the dogs and get them to turn on their master?
>>
>>30072555
...I like it.
>>
>>30072555
>>30072576
There is like a 100% chance this ends with us urinating on someone again. Actually the fact that we did that at all is further fuel on the dog-theory fire.
>>
>>30072555
Trips demand it.

Attempt to wow their bow.
>>
>>30071847
Open the Special Menu to see what's there.
>>
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Rolled 6

>>30071856
>>30071882
>>30071922

>Much whistle. Such battle. Wow. So grand, such sla-

"BARK!"

You send out a number of tongues to grab at your opponents. The dice will decide your chances.

1, You get all four
2, You get dog1
3, You get dog2
4, You get dog3
5, You get the Dog Shepherd
6, You miss completely
>>
>>30072880
You're killing me here, Teli.
>>
>>30072880
Well.

Time for diplomacy.

>>30072555
Attempt to communicate with our dog brethren.
>>
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>>30072880
>>
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>>30072880

All four had dodged you tongues.
>>
>>30073040
Regurgitate Shrine Maiden and Ogre souls as minions.

Can we do that?
>>
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>>30072908

You attempt to speak to the dogs in their own language, telling them to betray their master.
They give you a bewildered look.
>>
>>30073059
"I'm a motherfucking doge and wut is this?"
>>
>>30073059
Fuckers going to sell you to the local butcher.

Get'em, and I'll take you to the local butcher. For steak. The good stuff.
>>
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Rolled 34, 89, 63, 40 = 226

It is your opponents' turn.

DOG1 used head butt
DOG2 used bite
DOG3 used bite
Dog Shepherd used clobber

Accumulating damage
>>
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It is your turn.
>>
>>30073102
Hm.
We dead.
>>
>>30073102
Shouldn't that have killed us? Like, badly?

Use Swallow Whole on a dog to restore our HP.
>>
>>30073131
Whistle to stun the dogs.

>>30073160
Probably accounting for armor.
>>
>>30073160
Begin eating the pets as gruesome a manner as possible with intent to stun the sherperd.
>>
>>30073131
Do we have any pheromone abilities? Perhaps to use on lesser minds? That is...animals.
>>
>>30073160
I guess diplomacy isn't an option... this time.

We must work to get in touch with our inner canine. We have all the traits, we simply need to make them as one. If we ever encounter a werewolf later, we should ask for guidance.
>>
>>30073131
Putting it out there again. Neckbear.
>>
>>30073131
Pee on the shepherd and bark loudly in further attempts to communicate.
>>
>>30073131
Run away.
>>
>>30073131
Do the chicken dance of power!
>>
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Rolled 1

>>30073160

You prepare a tongue to lash out and grab one of the dogs for consuming.
Rolling for success

1, Dog1
2, Dog2
3, Dog3
4, Neither
>>
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>>30073757

You have successfully consumed one of the dogs, lessening their ranks.
>>
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Rolled 32, 2, 69 = 103

It is your opponents' turn.

Dog2 used bite
Dog2 used bite
Dog Shepherd used slugger-cut

Accumulating damage
>>
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>>30073897

It is your turn.
One of the dogs' bites had left you bleeding, and will drain 5hp per turn.
>>
>>30073932
THE CANINE BUFFET MUST CONTINUE, WE HUNGER
>>
>>30073932
What's our special list?
>>
>>30073932
Tongue Spear the remaining two dogs to replenish our HP.
>>
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Rolled 3

In SPECIALS, you have:

DIGEST (Digests a recently consumed opponent/victim for HP and MP)
TONGUE TENTACLE (Grapple)
BEARD GRAPPLE
MULTI MOUTH
LICK (Stun)
ALLURE (Pheremone, Neckfluff)

>>30073948
>>30074034

You prepare another tongue to snag another dog.

1, Dog2
2, Dog3
3, Miss
>>
>>30074536
...fuck.

Well, if we survive next round, Digest.
>>
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>>30074536

The two dogs dodged your attempt to grab them.

It is still your turn.
>>
>>30074555
DIGEST
>>
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>>30074560

You digest both of the dogs, the one you ate earlier and the one you ate now, and recovered 20 HP.
>>
>>30074630
Not much meat on them, it seems.

Also, Teli: We need battle music.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vj4tUKktLJI
>>
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Rolled 61

It is your opponents' turn.

Dog Shepherd used bat boomerang and had aimed for your secondary mouth!
You feel a few teeth broken, and your protection went down by 2% for the next turn.
Accumulating damage.
>>
>>30074630
Digest that dickdozer's BAT
>>
>>30074735
Release Shrine Maiden soul for heals!
>>
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It is now your turn.
>>
>>30074756
Tongue grab another dog.
>>
>>30074756
Eat the Bat Man. Or his Bat. Maybe both, if possible.
>>
>>30074756
Summon Shrine Maiden Soul.
>>
>>30074756
Stun the Batman
>>
Run. We're outclassed here.
>>
>>30074735
Allure the dogs!
>>
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Rolled 2

>>30074786

You attempt to rope the boy and his bat and ring him in for consumption.

Rolling for success.
>>
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Dog Shepherd had avoided your tongue!

It is still your turn.
>>
>>30074977
...fucker's tough.

Hold L+R
>>
>>30075084
Eat his cap and spit it at his minions! That'll demoralize AND damage the lot of 'em!
>>
>>30075084
make slugger touch fluffy neck.
>>
>>30075084
Sticking by dog allure
>>
>>30075084
Pheromone allure dogs!
DO IT.
FLUFFY BEARD DEMANDS IT
>>
>>30075912
Bump
>>
>>30075912
And once we use our pheromone to distract him, we can dick punch him with our stomach tongue!
>>
>>30078988
that sounds dangerously close to sucking his dick anon

get your gay sub fantasies out of here
/d/ pls leave
>>
>>30079271
fine then anon, how about using our neckbeard to grab one of his dogs, and use it as a shield against bat-anons attacks?
>>
>>30075390
>>30075912
Allure it is.

>>30079472
Shields are for pussies.
>>
Bump
>>
>>30082689
And again.
>>
>>30084702
Bampity bamp bamp
>>
Teli plz return
>>
>>30088154
I believe in Teli.
>>
>>30090571
Nigga he dead
>>
>>30091380
videa gaems 2 stronk
>>
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>>30075136

You'd take a safer route by using your tongue to scoop up his hat.
He simply steps out of the way.
>>
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Rolled 1

>>30075390
>>30075912

You ruffle your neckbeard, emitting weak pheremones to allure the dogs.
Rolling for allure success.
>>
>>30092013
Oh, shit, we got some allure going on.
>>
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>>30092013

You have successfully allured the dogs for 2 turns.
>>
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Rolled 1

It is your opponents' turn.

Dog Shepherd attempts to distract the dogs the dogs with a ball pulled out of his pocket!
Chance roll.
>>
>>30092141
dang, we just got them too
at least we can wreck the kid 1v1
>>
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Dogs successfully distracted, the kid tosses the ball into the living room. Dogs will return on his next turn.
>>
>>30092215
While he's distracted, attack the shit out of him from behind!
>>
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Rolled 52

Dog Shepherd performs HOMERUN! Well, basically he hit another ball with his bat into your face.

Accumulating damage.
>>
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It is now your turn.
>>
>>30092264
Smack that fucker so hard he tastes defeat for a week
>>
>>30092264
attack the kid in the face
>>
>>30092272
Don't you mean Snack on that fucker so hard you taste his defeat for a week?
>>
>>30092290
As long as we smack him I'm pleased as the proverbial punch.
>>
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>>30092332
>>
>>30092264
Punch him in the dick.
>>
>>30092357
Woahoho I just saw how you got me thereee
>>
>>30092264
Eat his hands so he can't whistle/attack
>>
>>30092264
Bite him. on the face.
>>
>>30092264
HACK HIS BRAIN
>>
>>30092264
Who can withstand the chompening?

Chomp chomp, motherfuckers.
>>
>>30092264
Hack his bat so it attacks him. CYBERMANCY
>>
>>30092264
>>30092666
Bite this fool
>>
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Rolled 10

>>30092272

Accumulating number of slaps
>>
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Rolled 2

>>30093854

However, Dog Shepherd is prepared to block off each attempt to hit him!
>>
>>30093889
Yea well too bad because he's due for a shit-slappin
>>
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For the 2 slaps that missed..
>>
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Rolled 17, 27, 83, 4, 43, 63, 72, 80 = 389

8 more come in!

Accumulating damage
>>
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Rolled 62

>>30094280

It appears this kid has money in his pocket, rolling up how much you earn.
>>
>>30094320
Sweet money. Lets go buy some food. I'm thinking gas station microwave burritos.
>>
>>30094625
All of them
>>
>>30094653
>>30094625
"Stay right there. I'll be back shortly."
>>
>>30094320
Just got back from Magic.

How'd we pull this one out of our asses?
>>
>>30094320
Don't we still have to deal with the dogs?
>>
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>>30094824

>Stay right there. I'll be back shortly.

"Urgh.."
>>
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>>30095096

Unfortunately, you do, as the pheromones you used on them were only temporary.
>>
>>30095811
Beat a motherfucker with another motherfucker.
>>
Use dog shepherd on dogs
>>
I propose we let this guy live.
We're an evil villain. And DS over there is a strong guy.

Every villain worth his salt has somebody chasing him for vengeance. Having a guy like DS pursuing us would keep us on our toes and make things more "fun" from Beardy's psychotic point of view.
>>
>>30096649
Let him go, but eat his dogs anyway. That's two souls, mang.
>>
Late morning bump.
>>
>>30095811
Recruit! Recruit the animals into our death brigade!
>>
>>30096878
But of course we eat his dogs.

>>30095811
Look at these little shits. They're fucking adorable. So we eat them in a horrifying manner while he watches, and then he'll be filled with the fires of vengeance.
>>
>>30096649
>>30100043
I lioe this course
>>
>>30101113
Like, that is
>>
>>30095811
We should still have one turn of allure
eat em while they're still loyal to us
>>
>>30096649
We already have anons group and charlottes group

how many enemies do you want?
>>
>>30102578
All of them.
>>
>>30102665
shit son
shiieeeeeeeeet
>>
Bampity bamp bamp
>>
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>>30096878
>>30102554

You took it as a chance to eat the dogs, collecting another two souls.
All the while you made sure Slugger here watches.
TOTAL SOULS COLLECTED: 7
>>
>>30105131
"Huh. Shit. Passed up a good opportunity for a pun there. 'Good hot dogs?' But they weren't hot... could have set them on fire first, I guess. Umm... 'mutts excellent?' Naw, doesn't make sense. Hey! Hey, fuckstick! I ate your fucking dogs! Om nom nom! Give me your hat."
>>
>>30105222
yes
>>
>>30105131
Attempt to recruit.
>>
>>30105613
No, gloat about how we gave him a chance to be our minion and he said no! About how his dogs would still be here if he had joined us.

Then piss on the carpet.
>>
>>30105222
>>30105674
top one THEN pee on his carpet.
>>
>>30105790
>"Huh. Shit. Passed up a good opportunity for a pun there. 'Good hot dogs?' But they weren't hot... could have set them on fire first, I guess. Umm... 'mutts excellent?' Naw, doesn't make sense. Hey! Hey, fuckstick! I ate your fucking dogs! Om nom nom! Give me your hat."
>Piss on carpet
yes.
>>
>>30105790
>>30105674

Why the carpet? Piss on the batter. Then he's ours.
>>
>>30105852
We'd be marking the house where the dude lives. Doesn't that make him ours, too?
>>
>>30105915
Eh, better safe than sorry.

Drink all the liquid in the fridge. Piss on everything.
>>
>>30105915
only if we pee on him.

BUT, what if we piss on the carpet, then wrap the guy with the piss carpet? not only can he not escape, but he's also covered in piss.
>>
This is a weird quest.
>>
>>30106176
>tfw I just joined at this thread
>I have no fucking clue what's going on but damn if it isn't entertaining
Maybe I'll catch up in the archive sometime.
>>
>>30106211
Belay that last comment, man, I can't into reading comprehension. Sorry about that.
>>
>>30106211
I felt the same way. And then I read all the archive and was pleasantly surprised. This is a fun train to ride.
>>
>>30106211
Read the archive. It's a blast.

This is a pretty damn good quest. Really creative and spontaneous. There are times when things get out of control, but that can happen in any group game, and it doesn't really ruin the quest.
>>
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>>30105843

>Huh. Shit.
>Passed up a good opportunity for a pun there.
>'Good hot dogs?' But they weren't hot... Could have set them on fire first, I guess.
>Umm... 'mutts excellent?' Naw, doesn't make sense.
>>
>>30107593
I'd go as far to say that segments where we play as Beardy actually thrive on those times, I think.
>>
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>>30105222

>Hey! Hey, fuckstick! I ate your fucking dogs! Om nom nom!
>>
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>Give me your hat.
>>
>>30108329
[Bewilderment Intensifies]
>>
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>>
>>30108351
[Nah Man Intensifies]
>>
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"Augh!"
>>
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You began pissing all over the living room.
>>
>>30108397
Whistle a jaunty tune as we do.
>>
>>30108397
i own this stuff now, and you too. its been marked with my scent so i own you. so as your first act as my slave you can willingly give me your soul and i will let you keep your hat and your life or whatever too i guess
>>
>>30108528
Can we even remove souls without killing?
>>
>>30108397
"You're mine now, bitch!"

Followed by a bat to our bearded face.
>>
>>30108555
he doesnt know we dont know, it will be a learning experience.
>>
What happened to the younger brother who ran away? Are the parents going to return home? Is there a little sister?
>>
>>30109464
That's a good question.

Also, bump from page 9.
>>
>>30112371
Revive.
>>
>>30113418
This thread pretty much shot. Only six more replies after this until it sinks.
>>
>>30113849
Well, shit. All right, after this I'll stop bumping.
>>
>>30108512
it better be this
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=h5sX24usBvQ
>>
Archive?
>>
>>30114033
Already did.
>>
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>>30108512

You whistle a jaunty tune as you made your rounds.
>>
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>>30108528

Then you made it back before Slugger recollects himself.

>I own this stuff now, and you too.
>It's been marked with my scent, so I own you.
>>
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>>30108528

>So, as your first act as my slave, you can willingly give me your so-
>>
>>30114649
fuck it
eat him
we gave him enough chances already
we want a hero coming after us, he has a little bro
>>
>>30114649
time to find out just how delicious he is
>>
>>30114649
Are you making it tonight, or just putting a capstone on this one?

THESE ARE ANSWERS I NEED, WOMAN!
>>
>>30114949

If we're really autosaging, I'll wait until this thread 404's. I can make it tonight or in the morning, I'm sticking around for suggestions.
>>
>>30115007
Yeah, we're past 300 replies, so we're autosaging.

Think I'll take this opportunity to ask what gave you the idea to do a quest on /tg/ in the first place. I'd heard you'd been run off /v/ or /vg/ or something?
>>
>>30114649
One: What the hell did Beardy just get hit with?

Two: How long will it take before Slugger is ready to battle again?

There's food enough in the fridge. We could keep him alive and grind levels off of him.
>>
>>30115046
This thread won't be going anywhere for several hours. It can still be used for chatting.

So, who are some of your favorite characters?
>>
>>30115046

I got a ban for running dogquest on /v/, but I haven't been ran off.
I only wear my trip when I'm doing this thread only.

>>30115141

Patience.
I like Receptionist, Anon, Neckbeard and everyone else.
>>
>>30115198
Fair enough. And how long have you been drawing? I've creeped your thing, and I like the new little series you're doing.
>>
>>30115222

I've been drawing for most of my life. And if I didn't feel the need to rush these pictures in this game, I'd make them prettier.
>>
>>30115266
This is rushed for you? Nice. If I was running a drawquest, people would be getting stick figures. Bad ones. Your work usually looks pretty polished. What do you use?
>>
>>30115298

I use photoshop. I also use sai, but not for this quest.
>>
>>30115323
So in the past, you mentioned the vidya distracts you. We know about Starbound, but what else do you like?

Personally, I've been playing System Shock 2. Fucking psionic monkeys.
>>
>>30115323
Do you have a dog, or do they just show up in your quests?
>>
>>30115351

I play bad mmos.

>>30115763

They just show up in my quest. They originated from a doodle way back.
>>
>>30115839
All MMOs are bad, but I'm guessing you mean ones like Maple Story or PWI?
>>
>>30115839
In real life, which would you prefer--a dog or a cat?
>>
>>30114649
piss on kid and take hat, leave and continue journy
>>
>>30116244
We're in freefall, bud.


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