Was hoping to start up a humanity fuck yeah! thread since I haven't seen one in a bit, and I do love a bit of reading. I'll be posting some of my favorites, and at the end, a story of my own if no one minds.So, h-here I go!
>>29578819This one has got to be my favorite, simply because humans aren't the hurf blurf bestest speessies ever.
>>29578853This is one I did a while back, so critique it at your pleasure if you think I could've done something or a lot of things a bit better.
>>29578811That's actually pretty cool and has a great tweest. Normally I don't care much for HFY.
>>29578841Veil of madness is the best HFY.
>>29578875Another one of my favorites.
Alright, so I guess that's all the good ones I have right now. If you all don't mind, I'll post my story in a pastebin, simply because, fuck you I'm not waiting over an hour to make all those posts.So here it is: http://pastebin.com/Ax2C0h7E
>>29578875Wow, that's pretty good. 10/10 brought a tear to my eye. Now I'm gay. Thanks a lot OP.
>>29579021As happy and appreciative as I am, that's not a critique, that's genuine dicksucking. I don't expect a pat on the back, I'd rather have a serious critique.
>>29579083We can play pretend if you like.No but seriously, since I hate HFY, I have no idea how to critique it. Essentially, HFY basically follows the same, almost haiku-like pattern every time. So it feels freakish when I like it, even though the same general thing happens in every HFY story.So if I have criticism for it, it would be that it could be cool to see HFY that doesn't follow the formula.Within the constraints of HFY as a complete story that can be put into one image file and read super fast and has the formula of humans starting off slow, growing, and winning, not sure what to say. But the essential problem is, besides the predictable formula, is that it suffers from telling rather than showing: it usually relies on an omniscient narrator's perspective.>>29578811This one is particularly good, for example, as it shows more than tells, and it only very loosely follows the usual HFY pattern.Again, if the intent is to follow a rigid pattern, that's fine. The rigid pattern can be very entertaining, as was in your story -- but its also stone cold predictable.
>>29579436And that's a fair critique, and I do legitimately appreciate it. I'll just have to work on it some more with the illustrations and such, and make it less...cliche I guess.Thank you.
>>29579536Remember, its questionable at all to call it -bad-. I found it genuinely moving, as mentioned before. People, presumably, turn to HFY because they want to hear what is essentially a love song to their species, and love songs generally are what they say on the label.
>>29578995God fucking dammit that was too good.
>>29579785He didn't say it was inherently "bad" just that it fit a cliche. By my standards, that's completely viable and certainly true. Therefore, it works.I give zero shits about my work not turning out well. Always more stories to write, and always more time to get better.
For those who actually like HFY stories, you can go here: >>29579489and help vote for Risen. The potential to turn it into a HFY story as a mere human conquers hell itself is tantalizing.
I realize they're often blatantly biased and go to ridiculous lengths to justify why humanity is awesome, usually by gimping everything else beyond anything we have seen on earth.>>29579930There is a complete series of books about humanity conquering hell and then heaven called The Salvation Wars that's pretty damn epic.It's in a modern setting though:http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Literature/TheSalvationWar?from=Main.TheSalvationWar
>>29579868If I might ask, why do you feel that way? What was good about it? Was there anything bad about it that you saw?Elaborate please.
Why are there so few quality HFY stories?Most of them just make everyone else lame without justification in order to make humanity look good instead of actually pointing out things we ARE good at that might still be relevant in the story.
>>29580459It's reverse elvenification following the Mary Sue™ protocols.>And then humanity was the elves
>>29580657Jesus christ these captchas are getting absurd
>>29580714Stop reniggering and reset your IP. The double control word appears because you got banned for fucking with the non-control word.
>>29578811Anyone got the veil story where the xenos build a stealth ship to spy on a human station?
>>29580805Not entirely true. They show up if you enter a lot of captchas in a short amount of time.
>>29580962Whoops, meant to link to >>29580934
>>29578995I don't have a reaction picture for how good that was. So here, have a butt instead.
>>29582158Again, please explain what was good, what sucked, what could be done better. Still looking for a decent critique.
>>29582458Oh dear, sorry.Well, the story was good, and you carried it well, didn't put any explanations or tech or anything that weren't needed.Conversation felt a tiny bit silted once or twice, but most of it was remarkably good. Grammar was... off, occasionally, it's a little hard to explain but it also felt kind of stilted a few times.Otherwise, as I said, it was pretty goddamn awesome.
>>29582586I don't understand what you mean by 'stilted', and I certainly agree my grammar could have been a bit better, but if you could elaborate a little bit more, it'd make my stories a bit more free flowing.I know it's difficult to explain in words, but greentext the shit out of what is niggling at you, and I'll do my best to manipulate it.
>>29582699It's sorta like, as I'm reading:>Okay, this is flowing alright>Something happens>That wording is a little bit weird>Oh wait I get what he meansYou know?From experience all I can say is just reread your work, preferably the day after you've wrote it.
>>29582752Will do...I'm not entirely sure right now about what exactly you're seeing wrong, maybe my context about certain situations is off (like the whole backstory about how Alex got onto the Dothen ship and whatnot) but other than that, I'm not sure I follow.
Either way, to keep the thread goin, I guess I'll take the time to post what I have instead of a pastebin...maybe that'll get things started.1/?A soft click pierces the silence as one of the two Arbiters places a translator onto the "table" inside of private room designed for questioning."Begin test for auditory translation hardware. Can you both understand me?"Two other voices begin speaking, though unintelligible at first. They begin to coalesce into a steady stream of bad grammar to perfect speech as the two continue talking until one of the Arbiters commands them to cease."Seeing as the translator is working, let me begin. As per our legislative laws, before we consider your application to living quarters on this station you must first identify yourselves, your species, and the planet that was the original home of your species" spoke an Arbiter with a bored and hurried voice.The human leans forward in his seat and speaks authoritatively. "My name is Alex Johan, I am a human, I hail from the planet Earth in the Sol system.""And you are?" asked the other Arbiter as it pointed to the tripedal chitinous creature.
>>295838992/?The human leans forward in his seat and speaks authoritatively. "My name is Alex Johan, I am a human, I hail from the planet Earth in the Sol system.""And you are?" asked the other Arbiter as it pointed to the tripedal chitinous creature."Th'lakis, I am a Sharn, I come from..." it trailed off as it confided with Alex. "What do you guys call our star system again?""Alpha Centauri...jesus, are you fucking dense?" Alex said in a low whisper.With more confidence than before, Th'lakis corrected her statement, "I come from what my people call Sharnari in the Alpha Centauri system." Contradictory to her commanding squeaks and clicks, her "bean-stalk", as Alex called it, reverberated an embarrassed slightly black color. The Arbiters didn't seem to pick up on such a clue, but Alex knew her far too well. She was hiding the fact that she forgot.
>>295839183/?The two Arbiters sat back in highly strange seats. Alex and Th'lakis considered that by some measurement, the seats they themselves sat in were constructed just for both of their species, as if they were tailored simply for them before they even entered the room. Alex thought of this as a reassuring gesture, though Th'lakis was annoyed by this as no immediate measurements of her carapace or Alexs' were made even though she knew her species was on file.Still relaxed, or what seemed to be by their body structure, the rightmost Arbiter began. "Alright, now that we've gotten the basic information we require from you, we must ask the circumstances of your arrival and the nature of your request. Under law, we also must advise you that you have the right to separate interrogation chambers should you so desire."Th'lakis, without hesitation or consideration for Alexs' opinion strongly clicked "No. We're fine right here." Alex seemed humored by the gesture.
>>295839334/?The leftmost Arbiter gave what the two could only guess as a sigh before muttering "That'll make this long ordeal." Ignoring his counterpart, the other Arbiter continued; "So how did you two come to this station, for our record-keeping?""Some dude rescued us from a planet that they called Rax. I can't tell ya how far away it is, or what star system it's in." Replied Alex."I wouldn't really call it 'rescuing' to be fair. They just picked us up after we finished our distress beacon." Squeaked Th'lakis."It's called a 'distress beacon' for gods sake! Neither of us wanted to be stuck there for the rest of our lives, we were fuckin' *rescued*."Clearly annoyed, judging by the greenish hue her stalk had changed to, Th'lakis clicked "Here we go, another argument about semantics from the oh-so-wise idiot who-""Please desist from further banter and tell us how you came to be 'trapped' on Rax." said the right Arbiter, clearly calm and disinterested.
>>295839475/?Alex and Th'lakis glanced at each other before the human stated "Well, we kind of 'escaped' from our detention cells on a Dothen ship, found an escape pod, and jettisoned ourselves before the ship we were on was cut in half...""I still can't believe we survived all of that shit." remarked Th'lakis. "Some Dothen assholes capture me and him, both on different planets, and try to sell us into slavery above Rax, and then we were attacked by...whoever the fuck they were. The power cut out, the magnetic seals on our cages broke, and we escaped."Alex gave a short laugh, "Yeah, after we ejected, apparently the captain of the Dothen ship piloted the ship halfway through the atmosphere before the aggressing ship cut the damn thing in half with some kind of beam cannon.""Luckily for us, one half survived the plummet to the ground."Seemingly more involved with the discussion, the left Arbiter asked "And you have no knowledge of who attacked the Dothen ship?"
>>295839716/?"Nope." both replied instantly and plaintively."So how long were you two on Rax, and how did you survive?""Seven years." replied Alex.Th'lakis' stalk again turned a slight irritated green and corrected Alex. "They don't use Earth years." She raised up one of her scythe-like claws and continued, "We were on Rax for about one tenth of a standard year.""Like I fuckin' know what a standard year is...in any case, after we landed, we damn near killed each other. I mean look at her, she's friggin 8 feet tall, stands on three legs, and she's got claws that could slice clean through a steak, no offense Lacky."
>>295839907/?Alex had taken to calling Th'lakis "Lacky" as shorthand. She seemed fairly at ease with such a butchering of her name, given that her race detested such mannerisms. The Arbiters, being privy to this particular social faux pas, expected an execution. What they got was a deep purple from Th'lakis, indicating contentment and trust. "I had heard rumors about humans; incredible strength, superior reflexes, being a barbarian species, and the inability to sense pain, so of course I feared him as much as he did me. But against the odds of certain death, we kind of "mimed" our way through most of the early days until we got to the wreckage of the ship.""I'm sorry, 'mimed'?""A human expression." replied Alex out of turn. "It basically means making motions and gestures with your appendages and body to kind of communicate.""If you can call it communicating." said Th'lakis, now emanating a bright orange which denoted amusement. Nothing was amusing to the both of them during those days, but looking back on them was simply funny. "It was more like incredibly primitive motions to objects and things we needed or wanted-"
>>295840098/?"-or hunted""Yeah, that too. But as we made our way to the wreckage of the ship, we started to learn basic commands verbally and could *actually* communicate."Both Arbiters, sitting more upright, were visually intrigued by the story that they were hearing. The Sharn were a uniquely xenophobic race and detested other species, and they knew absolutely nothing about the humans, or Earth. It was a rare thing for a Sharn to communicate to the communal races of the galaxy, but for an unknown race such as humans? Both Arbiters thought of it as blasphemy. "So...you two simply learned each others languages as you went along. Is that correct?""Pretty much." exclaimed both Alex and Th'lakis, again in unison."It's pretty hard to distinguish the different types of clicks and squeaks that Lacky makes."Just as hard is it for me to decipher the retarded vowels and consonants all strung together...and don't even get me started on human grammar.""Yeah, took her ages to figure out why 'their, they're and there' meant completely different things and stuff like that."
>>295840229/?"Oh, and spending two years learning Dothen so we could operate the technology inside the ship was a big pain in the ass."Again, in complete unison, as if bound by telepathy, both stated "It fucking sucked."A short silence fell between the four. As the Arbiters simply looked bemused and confounded, Alex gave them an opportunity for reprieve."Hey, don't mean to be an ass to ya'll, but do you guys got bathrooms? I gotta go somethin' fierce."Before the rightmost Arbiter could even open his mouth to ask 'What is a bathroom?' Th'lakis clarified for them. "He means a bio-waste disposal area. To be fair, you guys kept us waiting for quite a while.""Ahh, yes. If you exit the door behind you, go right all the way down the hall and it will be the last door on your left."Without a word, Alex jumped up from his seat, turned around and opened the door, eager to alleviate his hurting bladder. Unaware of this fact, Th'lakis inquired "Is it a number one or two?"Without answering, he headed out the door towards the 'bio-waste disposal area' as she clicked incredibly loudly so as he could hear her "DON'T STICK 'IT' INSIDE IF YOU GOTTA PISS!"Anticipating the Arbiters' questions of the meaning of 'piss' and 'number one or number two', she explained human excrement and the mechanics of such things."With your bathrooms, it won't take him long to figure things out."Fifteen minutes pass, and she had successfully elaborated on the human male genetalia and waste orafices and the practices thereto in "grooming" as Th'lakis called it. Just as that conversation has concluded, she began to wonder 'What the hell is he doing?'
>>2958404710/?Another brief moment passes, and Alex opens the door, eyes abeam with a smile that went from ear to ear. Startled by this, Th'lakis asks "And just what were you doing in there? Giving birth?""No. No, no, no. I was just..." he paused as his smile paradoxically grew wider. "I was simply exploring the...intricacies of your restrooms. Quite gracious and fulfilling they are."Simply by the tone of Alexs' voice, she knew exactly what had happened. "Please tell me you didn't." she pleaded."Awwww yeah I did. And screw you for telling me not to!" Alex boasted with great gusto.Completely confused, both Arbiters tried to make sense of the situation. "What did you do? Did you destroy our waste facilities?!"With a great bellowing laughter that took everyone by surprise, Alex replied "No, absolutely not, I just found them enjoyable!"
>>2958407311/?"You stuck it in and fucked the anal evacuation tube didn't you?" her stalk now an incredibly embarrassed black."Oh you know me all too well." said he. "Hey boss, those things are sterilized after every use right?"Even more confounded by the outbursts from both parties, the leftmost Arbiter stated quite shakenly "Erm, yes, after every use, why do you ask?"Especially proud of himself, to no great surprise or relief to Th'lakis, Alex replies, "Excellent."Th'lakis' stalk, sparking a deep, burning red, she curtly cuts the conversation short. "If you don't mind, we've answered all your questions, and we're a bit tired. I believe we've done our best to enlighten you to our situation."Composing themselves, both Arbiters can sense the frustration of the Sharn. "Well, yes, I think we have everything we need." The right Arbiter said hurriedly. You'll be stationed in quarters H82J6. Enjoy your stay."-------------------------------------------------------(chapter break)
>>2958409012/?Th'lakis entered their assigned room first, assuring their accommodations were met. Though cold for herself, and the air thick, it was perfect for Alex. "I think this'll do nicely for you, asshole." still holding onto her red, furious hue on her stalk."Oh come on" Alex nonchalantly pleaded. "It's been fucking years. I can't believe you'd be so -"The blunt side of Th'lakis' claw smacked across his temple at high speed as the door closes, knocking Alex to the ground. Through the flurry of clicks, squeals, and garbles, he hears only "- CAN'T BELIEVE YOU'D DO SOMETHING SO AMAZINGLY IDIOTIC AND FUCKING EMBARRASSING AS WHAT YOU DID BACK THERE!" She towered over him at full height, certainly an intimidating presence with all extremities extended. "WHAT THE FUCK CAME OVER YOU?! DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA OF WHAT IMPRESSION YOU MIGHT HAVE GIVEN TO THE ARBITERS, TO ME OF ALL PEOPLE, AND TO YOUR SPECIES IF THEY KNEW WHAT YOU HAD DONE?!"
>>29584090At work. Can't comment or dump. Saw pastebin, good stuff, will comment on later.
>>2958411713/?Getting on his feet, and absolutely mortified at seeing Th'lakis in a state of rage, he collected himself. She was leaning over his frail body like in the early days when trust was at a premium. He knew that in an instant she'd be able to dice him into nothing more than hamburger meat. "Jesus fucking christ, Lacky!" he yelled as he assessed the damage to his head. "They don't know what the hell went on, and I doubt they care! They have bigger issues than some human taking liberties with their facilities!" Seeing no blood on his hands as he drew them back for a looking over, anger swept over him. In a fraction of a second, he leaped into the air straight for Th'lakis' abdomen and knocked her down. The lower gravity giving him a higher advantage than her three legs could give to her. "Eye for an eye, bitch!" Alex screamed and his fist made contact with her cranium.The next short moments were a simple jumble of Th'lakis' body and Alexs' becoming more intertwined and furious, both scoring superficial yet painful hits to each other. Alex had his arms around both of her front insectoid and powerful arms and his right leg wrapped around her front right leg, keeping her off balance while she continued to pummel his spine with her back knee. Both of them rolling close to the door, a chime pierced the grunts, groans, hisses, and clicks of the pair. Instantly, their scuffle ended as the door was opened by the Arbiter. Seeing them jumbled on top of one another, and both looking straight at him like a deer in the headlights of a car, he exasperatingly muttered "Sh-should I come back at a later time?"
>>2958414214/?Both of them got to their feet, ashamed and embarrassed about being caught like this. "No, we're quite fine." clicked Th'lakis softly."We were just..." Alex trailed off as he gave a concerned look to her. "We were simply having a, uh, discussion about societal norms in...erm, you know."Satisfied that the situation had extinguished itself, and none the wiser to their fight, the Arbiter explained himself. "I regret to inform you that Records Keeping requires a bit more information from the two of you, and that it is in the interest of brevity and security that we interrogate you two one at a time. Is this a bad time to begin?"Wanting to distance herself from the whole debacle, Th'lakis spoke up. "Nah, lead the way Arbiter." Looking down to Alex, she could tell that he was feeling guilty of the scuffle. 'Good' she thought. 'Maybe this will give him a wake up call.' Before turning to leave the room, she decided to walk over to an end table near the door and remove a soft kind of cloth from a receptacle. Turning to Alex, she grabbed his head and tilted it upwards and wiped off blood that began to trickle down his left nostril before stuffing it in there. "Hold it there, I'll be back soon."
>>2958416815/?As the door shut, silence again permeated the dormitory, falling like a thick blanket of humiliation. Holding the cloth to his nose, body bruised and defeated, he simply let his legs give and dropped to the floor. Even with the low gravity, his ass still hurt from the impact. He simply didn't care. He fucked up, he knew it, and worst of all he fought the only person in the universe who he implicitly trusted and respected. For the next several hours, shame would be his only companion, or so Alex thought.Eyeing the room, there were two rectangular objects that he could only guess to as being beds. Being inside that broken wreck of a ship with Th'lakis for seven long years, he'd become acclimated to the hard deckplates of the ship as being his bed. Walking over to one of the 'beds', he towered over it and prodded it with his hands. It was soft, far too soft in fact. It was of no consequence to him though, the floor would do nicely.Giving his estate another look-over, he saw a table near one of the bulkheads across from the entrance. Next to it was a panel in the wall with a triangular hole that receded a decent bit into the wall labeled "Molecular Printer". On the table, Alex saw something that looked just like the translator that the Arbiter had put down in the interrogation room, except this one had an interface for displaying information. He picked it up into his hands and began to try and decipher the gibberish on the screen. Reflexively, he asked the datapad "Hey, can you translate this text to Dothen?" The datapad instantly responded, and the text began to morph into the Dothen language. Enjoying this kind of responsive tech, Alex muttered "Swanky."
>>2958418216/?With the newfound ability to access a galactic network of information, he posed yet another question for the datapad: "Can you give me all public knowledge of the planet 'Earth' or any information regarding the human race?"Attempting to sit down on what seemed like a simple elevated stool, he waited as the datapad scoured the network for all the information as the screen displayed the message "Standby: Searching for relevant information. Estimated wait time: 382 station units." Judging by the timer in the lower left corner of the screen, he supposed it'd probably take about 20 minutes."Twenty minutes..." Alex sighed. "Well, certainly not much I can do besides look back at my time on that hellhole." Drifting back to his memories, all he could focus on was his most intense and personal memory with Th'lakis.--------------------------------------------------------(chapter break)
>>2958419817/?In the bowels of the gutted and tattered ship, Alex found himself dragging his freshly hunted quarry down to a room of Lacky's choosing. Approaching the cargo hold, or what was left of it, he heard the clicks and hisses of his comrade in the dimly lit and spacious room. Entering the doorway, his still warm prey in tow, he asked her "Are you sure you want me to do this?" His voice echoed and boomed off of every which wall as she cowered in the far corner. "I can simply lock you inside until it's all over and done with."Chattering and clicking, Lacky responded in a very unusual way. Alex couldn't tell if it was her species' version of shivering or what, but it certainly sounded like it. "No!" she replied in an ear-piercing squawk. "I-it needs to be done this-s-s way. When we Sharn bro-ood, we become aggressive, an-nd each female needs to be subdued or k-k-killed.""So, basically, I just need 'ta beat the hell out of you when you're done laying your eggs and ready to fight. Is that it?" Alex asked calmly. He had to play it cool, he knew Lacky was nervous even without being able to see her stalk. Walking closer, he laid the fresh meat at her nest and gave her a concerned nod for her to eat.
>>2958422518/?Composing herself and trying to fight the chattering, she explained to him that this was a brutal ritual by human standards. After laying her eggs, she'd become supremely paranoid about protecting her newly laid offspring. Any living creature that came close would be slaughtered unless ready to fight for the brood. She elaborated that in her species, this was typically done by the 'Alpha Male' as Alex understood it. The Alpha would fight, dismember and subdue or outright kill the female in order to fertilize the eggs she was protecting, and by doing so, would prove his worth to the female and stand guard over the nest. Alex would be forced to fight her until she could no longer be a threat, or until he himself perished. Only then would her rage subside."Don't worry about the 'ripping off of limbs' part..." said Th'lakis. "They grow back quickly, as you've seen before on our hunts."Alex gave a hearty, yet considerate laugh. "And just as you've seen me on our hunts..." he said as he trailed off and put a hand on her arm. "I don't take threats against my life lightly. I certainly won't kill you, but you'd better be ready for the fight of your life." As he gazed into her compound eyes, he recognized her approximation of a smile as her stalk turned an almost invisible purple in the dim cargo bay. "Although I doubt I can fertilize your eggs!" he ended with a laugh.
>>2958425419/?"That's the only response I expected from you." she clicked softly. "Now leave me and let me eat. You'll know when I need you."Walking towards the exit of the defunct cargo bay, he looked over his shoulder at her with hidden fear. She was a formidable ally on their hunts, and an excellent brawler when they would fight over meaningless things. This was different, however. She had held back her hunters pride with him at every turn when they would fight. Never once did she seriously harm him, and likewise for him onto her. This was a battle of the most basic instincts of both of their species, and he knew damned well what that meant. She was going to be out for blood.Quickly he set out gathering every piece of weaponry he had while powering up the portable fusion generator to power the automated energy weapons outside the ship in case any of the wildlife decided to join in. Certainly a risky move, as if any of them stepped outside while they were active, they'd be killed.As Alex waited outside the cargo bay, he listened to the sickly sounds that emanated from it while sharpening his knife. He had to be surgical, he could not under any circumstance lose control over himself during the fight. He couldn't risk her life, as he'd be risking his own in the long run. Besides, who else would he have to make fun of or tell stories to? Who else could operate the innards of the ship like she could? What other friend did he have?
>>2958427320/?Two hours later, after much of the sounds from Th'lakis had stopped, an incredibly painful screech echoed throughout the entire wrecked ship. He heard the energy weapons outside discharge as 4 shots rang out against a foe. Disregarding this, Alex stood shaking with fear and adrenaline, and turned into the cargo bay to fight for his life. (edited for continuity)
>>2958428721/?She was covered in the blood of the animal Alex killed not long before. It's gore was plastered along every inch of the corner where her nest was. He'd never seen Lacky so intimidating before; every extremity of hers was outstretched and a loud hiss reverberated through the bulkheads. Looking for the first strike, Alex charged at her. She swiped at him furiously as he slid across the slick blood soaked floorplates underneath of her. He drew his blade and sliced her front right leg off above the knee, being exceptionally careful to keep the knife away from her body. As expected, she toppled over, unable to keep her balance on three legs. Propping herself up with her right arm, she lashed out with her left behind her, making a gash into Alexs' left shoulder. Crying out in pain, and in a frenzy of adrenaline fueled rage, he jumped onto her back and drew his blade across her right arm slicing it almost all the way through. She fell again as the remainder of her arm cracked sharply under the weight put onto it. Hissing and screeching, her left arm flailed and lashed out in arcs in an attempt to murder Alex. Both of her legs began scratching the floor in a semi-circle in an attempt to turn her towards her prey. With her being unable to use the right side of her body effectively, what with her right front leg and arm missing, all she could do was turn circles on the floor in a fit of seething animosity. Turning towards the cargo bay doors, he walked to the doorway and pulled out a long and sturdy piece of what passed for wood on Rax. Walking back to the enraged Th'lakis, who was now using her left arm and the two remaining legs to scratch her way closer to Alex, he hefted the log over his head and shouted "lights out!" before bringing it down on her head.
>>2958430822/?Th'lakis awoke to indescribable pain hours later. She had been laid down on her left side by Alex as he bandaged and cleaned the wounds he inflicted upon her. She turned her head, which was throbbing intensely, to get a good look at the room. The stumps on her missing arm and leg had been carefully and meticulously cleaned by Alex, as well as dressed. Cloth was covering her left set of eyes for what she assumed was a crack in her exoskeleton where he brought the log down upon."Alex..." she softly squeaked, unable to say much more.A familiar rustling of cloth came from behind her, and a warm hand placed itself on her shoulder. "Yeah, I'm here Lacky."As his voice rang out in the stained cargo bay, Th'lakis' stalk turned to a dim yellow. She was incredibly happy he was still alive. Through a series of nearly unintelligible clicks and squawks, she managed to ask "Are you injured? Are you alright?"
>>2958433023/?Walking around her injured and weak body to face her directly, he sat down in front of her and replied "Yeah, I'm injured." as Alex pointed to his left shoulder. The entirety of his left upper body was soaked in glistening red blood. Through the darkness she had seen that he had tended to his wounds only after tending to hers, judging by the bodily fluids on each of them. "You got a damn fine hit on me you fucking asshole." he said with a pained smile and a forced laugh.Stammering and chattering, Th'lakis told him to go to what was left of the medical ward and find the fibrous tissue regenerator to fix his badly wounded shoulder. Laughing heartily now, Alex said something she never expected from anyone in the universe. "Nah, got to guard your and your kids from predators, right? Once you have your strength back, we'll both go and find the shit we need."--------------------------------------------------------(chapter break)
>>2958435624/?Taking a deep breath of air, Alex slumped down onto the table. He had no idea why he thought of that particular memory, and in the situation he found himself in after the fight with Th'lakis, after the interrogation, he felt even worse than before. He began to hope that the whole ordeal would just wash itself away like all the other fights in the past. However, seeing her that upset that she'd loom over him like that, and in that kind of anger, he knew that she was irate about the whole thing.A soft beep interrupted his train of thought as the datapad now displayed all the information of Earth and humanity it could find. With a sigh of relief, he could finally find a place suitable to go home to. He could finally show Lacky all of the wonderful places he had told her about in his stories. 'Maybe the Grand Canyon first...' he thought to himself. She had been enthralled by his descriptions of it, and showed a keen interest in knowing all about it. She had said it reminded her of home in the past. Maybe that would be a good place to start.As he continued to read on and catch up with the goings-on of humanity, his cheerful thoughts of his far away home came crashing down as he came onto the 'Current Politics' part of the article.--------------------------------------------------------(chapter break)
>>2958438225/?Silently walking through the stations bright and clean corridors, Th'lakis took in a large breath of air to cool herself down. This wasn't the first time they've fought, and fighting between them certainly was never a rare thing. Given Alexs' small stature and fleshy extremities, he was just as capable and just as dangerous a fighter as she was. Given a weapon of any kind, Alex could have killed her outright at almost any time. 'Seven years...' she thought. Seven years of camaraderie, preservation, arguing, fighting, helping, *living*. Her species were born hunters, and the harsh reality of her world was 'nothing except your own kin will keep you safe'. Then there was Alex, the human. A species of hunter-killers and foragers...or at least as described by Alex himself and confirmed by Th'lakis herself later on. She happily clicked at the irony. A pure-bred hunter, and a hunter-killer, from two completely different stars, with two completely different societies, and here they were. Nearly inseparable, best and most trusted of friends, and an absolute treat to brawl with.Th'lakis nearly bumped into the Arbiter as she let her mind wander. He had stopped at the same room that they had occupied not 2 hours before. "Please, sit. We will begin shortly."
>>2958439926/?Silently walking through the stations bright and clean corridors, Th'lakis took in a large breath of air to cool herself down. This wasn't the first time they've fought, and fighting between them certainly was never a rare thing. Given Alexs' small stature and fleshy extremities, he was just as capable and just as dangerous a fighter as she was. Given a weapon of any kind, Alex could have killed her outright at almost any time. 'Seven years...' she thought. Seven years of camaraderie, preservation, arguing, fighting, helping, *living*. Her species were born hunters, and the harsh reality of her world was 'nothing except your own kin will keep you safe'. Then there was Alex, the human. A species of hunter-killers and foragers...or at least as described by Alex himself and confirmed by Th'lakis herself later on. She happily clicked at the irony. A pure-bred hunter, and a hunter-killer, from two completely different stars, with two completely different societies, and here they were. Nearly inseparable, best and most trusted of friends, and an absolute treat to brawl with.
>>2958441727/?Th'lakis nearly bumped into the Arbiter as she let her mind wander. He had stopped at the same room that they had occupied not 2 hours before. "Please, sit. We will begin shortly."The droning of the Arbiters questions was incessant; how did you survive with just you two and a broken half of a ship? How did you conduct medical repairs? How did the flora and fauna of Rax effect you? Could you tell me more about the behavior of humans? All simple questions, and all with simple answers. For about 2 hours this went on until the Arbiter threw her a fast-ball, as Alex would say."...And what is your relationship towards the human?"Her stalk dimmed to a pure abashed black. What the hell did that mean? "I beg your pardon?" she demanded."Protector, assistant, friend, mate? Things of that nature."She paused for a moment. Alex rarely ever needed protecting, she surely wasn't an assistant, far beyond a friend, but certainly not a mate. Composing herself, she meekly squeaked "An honored sibling of different species would be most accurate."
>>2958444028/?Satisfied with this, the Arbiter stood up out of his seat and remarked "Th'lakis, you've been more than helpful in our dealings here. I think we need not ask for Alex to come and testify. You and your companion are welcome to stay for 3 rotations, but after that we will begin to require compensation for your drain on our networks. Under the circumstances, we believe this is a fair and just accommodation for you and yours to begin plans for settlement on wherever planet, station, or ship you desire." Clicking off the recording software on the translator, the Arbiter said in a cautious tone, "Please, do yourselves a favor and stay out of trouble. Our security forces have been stressed due to lack of shipments and their emotional status may reflect this. Again, welcome to Adrani Station 3. Please enjoy your stay."-------------------------------------------------------(chapter break)
>>2958445729/?Th'lakis entered their dormitory with an approximation of a sigh. A bowl of pulsating meat was sitting in the center of the table near the bulkhead where Alex sitting with his back facing the door. A quick and forceful sniff was uttered by Alex as he cleared his throat. "I went to the molecular printer and asked for a traditional Sharn dish. Figured you'd be starvin'." he said, swiveling around and putting a datapad he had in his hands onto the table. He looked away from the door, staring off into nothing in particular. His face was red, bruised and many blood and mucus stained tissues laid on the table and floor. With a cough, Alex pointed to her right front leg and started "You aware you're drippin' goop onto the floor?"She looked down to her leg, and sure enough, trauma from the fight earlier had cracked her exoskeleton which she hadn't even noticed, with a greenish viscous liquid seeping from the crack and onto the floor. Giving a huff of surprise, she responded "Heh, so I am. Gimme one of those cuts of cloth."Picking up the receptacle, he walked over to her and jokingly asked if he should bleed on it to stop the drainage. Th'lakis, her stalk turning a blue-ish purple, shook her head and gave what Alex knew as a smile.
>>2958447930/?"What?" said Alex laughing. "It worked when you fell and cracked your chest. Christ, I remember bleeding myself three or four times just so the damn blood would scab over and seal it." Going from blue-ish purple to green, Th'lakis watched as Alex tended to her wound. Not to be outdone, she remarked "Oh you had your fair share of spills. Like the time you broke your leg and you had to be carried all the way back home like an infant."Finishing up the makeshift bandage, Alexs' face went from a smile to a stark emotionless expression. "Y'know...I truly am sorry about earlier." said Alex very softly. "I was a pigheaded asshole...it shouldn't have happened, and I shouldn't have done something like that to me, or my race..."Th'lakis was shocked beyond words or expression. Even her stalk gave no clue as to how surprised she was. Alex was an asshole, to be sure. Selfish, arrogant, single-minded to a fault. This was the first and only time he had ever apologized without having it beaten over his head."..or to you." Alex continued. He sat down slowly on the floor, looking at his feet. "You've always been there for me, and I'd like to think I've returned that...but now that we're off that godforsaken rock, I can't help but feel..." He paused for a moment to collect his thoughts. Th'lakis, completely taken away by this ludicrous change in him, folded her legs underneath herself and 'sat' down in front of him, listening intently.
>>2958450531/?"While you were gone, I tried finding any scrap of information on my people, or even a picture of Earth..." His voice was shaking, and his breathing was completely off. "Turns out that they've finally gotten FTL and that they just haven't made it this far." Alex could barely keep himself together, but he continued. "T-They've completely closed themselves off from other species...I don't know why or how, but my home has changed." A tear ran down his face as the news finally hit home in his heart. Earth itself became militantly xenophobic to any species that wasn't human in the many years that he had been away. After his colonization ship had been sent off speeding through space to his previous home before his abduction, and Rax, they made first contact and summarily closed it's borders some years later. No non-Terran lifeforms could lawfully set foot on Earths soil, and no human living amongst an alien species could come back home for fear of "corruption".Th'lakis, empathizing with his plight, pulled him close with both scythe-like arms. "What, and you think I can go back to my home?" she asked without need for an answer. Slowly, she reminded him, "You know I was cast out, shamed by my own people and family. I know how you feel." Her dominating height, even while sitting, forced Alex to look straight up into her compound eyes. She had never seen this kind of powerful expression from him before, tears were streaming from his eyes and down his fleshy and bruised face. His eyes were as red as her stalk could ever dare to be, and mucous dribbled from his nose. He looked so helpless, so incredibly sad, and this was a pain that she knew far too well, and her stalk shined a bright white in sorrow and understanding.
>>2958452732/?"That's not what I'm so upset about you fucking moron..." stammered Alex. Wiping his excrement from his face, he showed one of the most complex and vulnerable emotions she'd ever seen from any creature. Quickly, he buried his face into her carapace and began sobbing. "I wanted to show you my home, I wanted to show you my paradise, I wanted for you to share in it." She could barely make out his words, but she could hear anger, despair, and defeat in his quaking voice. He was breaking down, turning into his most vulnerable state right in front of her very eyes. "...and all I did was behave like a retard as soon as we left Rax. I...I wanted Earth to be your p-perfect home. I wanted you to come with me."Th'lakis was almost speechless. He was bawling, he had finally opened up to her, through 7 years of scraping enough for the both of them to survive, he had never once ever expressed anything but platonic kinship, jokes, stories about how great Earth was, and quips. Again, almost incomprehensibly, he muttered "It was the reason I wanted the both of us to get off that god damned planet, for me to go home and for you to have a real home...my home. I wanted Earth to be your new Sharnari..."
>>2958454833/33Th'lakis, again would be surprised. She never knew Alex to be anything but selfish, but this was the complete opposite. Looking back over the years, she remembered how many times that he had been there for her. Through broken exoskeletons, sliced off limbs, starvation, dehydration, predators...brooding...he'd been there and brought her through it all, just as much she did for him, if not more. The conflict they both went through made their bonds strong, nearly indomitable, and after all that turmoil, he was thinking of nothing else but bringing her to a new home; now that the dream had been shattered for him, this gross, embarrassing, beastly, violent, and 'selfish' idiot wasn't even concerned with himself, but her.If Th'lakis had tear ducts, she'd have been weeping herself.As softly and delicately as she could, she put her arms under his and propped him up onto his feet so his eyes met with hers. "Alex..." she squeaked softly, "when did I ever give you the impression I was ever going to leave?"In what seemed like an instant, he threw himself at her chest and wrapped his arms around Th'lakis' shoulders and put his head beside hers, laughing through his tears and squeezing her tightly. He could see her stalk turn the deepest purple he ever saw as she returned the gesture. "I know you haven't" he protested with even more tears streaming down his face. "But wherever you go, I want to be by your side.""Don't you get all mushy and soft on me now..." Th'lakis calmly warned him as she jabbed his side endearingly."..I expect so much more from a mate."I know this has been a long read, but thank you if you did. I shall provide more in the future if this was palpable.
>>29578995I...I have something in my eyes...
>>29584673Do you think there was anything I could have done better?
>>29584904It looks good to me, although I will admit a tolerance for faults in writing
>>29584948I'd GREATLY appreciate any insight you could give to me.
>>29584968It would have been better to have a break down of Alex's vision of humanity from his perspective as the current draft feels a bit off with it cutting back to Lacky and then launching into the emotions.
>>29585033I felt the same, but in the 2000 characters I have for this shit, i think if I broke it down, it'd have been about 50 posts, which I'm sure the mods would have deleted the thread outright.
>>29585111Ehh the mods don't really care for that shit. They got better things to do.
>>29584904I dunno. At times, it seems like the speech between the two are a bit robotic, I guess.The dialogue feel like it was written instead of spoken, if that makes any sense.
>>29585322I don't understand...maybe im just fucking retarded or something/
>>29585398No, I'm just no good at putting my ideas into words. It's hard for me to explain. Just forget what I said.
>>29585502Nope. I'll try to get into it, I'll fucking fail, like the past few years I've done, but god damnit, I'll try.
>>29585562That's the spirit.You know, I actually started and then abandoned a story really similar to yours. It was supposed to be 2 aliens and a human surviving on a death world after a riot on a prison ship. It wasn't nearly as good as yours though.
>>29585613Mind sharing what you've got? I'd like to see it
>>29585727Give me a minute. I may not even have it anymore.
>>29586388>>29585727Here, not >>29586388
>>29584968I have insights! Me me me...I really waited for a flashback of them managing to establish some sort of truce at the very beginning. From both or at least the alien's perspecitve.
>>29587211I think it works better the way it's just hinted at - that way the author doesn't have to go into minutiae about the mechanics of their translation attempts.
>>29587211I've been thinking it over in my head, and for a short story, this is most likely the best way to do it without going over 100+posts
>>29587211Shamelessly bumping for more critiques.
>>29587506Even after 7 years they still should retain some mannerisms characteristic to their personalities, they express themselves bit too similar. Maybe make the alien more wordy.Also give the mantis an ass. Because this is /tg/. We demand dat ass on everything.
>>29580857 HereStill asking if anyone's seen it seeing as I can't find it in the archives
>>29588240Took me a while, but here you go, is it this one?
>>29592799For anything in particular anon, or for random contributions?
>>29590533Every time I draw this I fail to capture it properly. I just imagine two white collar guys sitting in front of some consoles sipping coffee... when all of a sudden.They also have mustaches, and one of them is bald.
>>29594904Are you trying to capture the moment the humans are discovering the craft or are you trying to capture the whole scene? And if the former, can you post examples to see what you have?
>>29594904>I just imagine two white collar guys sitting in front of some consoles sipping coffee... when all of a sudden.>They also have mustaches, and one of them is bald.Sounds about right to me.
>>29595269But are they porn star mustaches? I believe they will make a comeback in the future.
>>29590533>>29594904>>29595269Should I write about one of these guys pulling a Walter Mitty, and striking out to explore the universe?Like a diminutive 5'5" sensor control panel operator out in the alien wild?
>>29595913Sure, why not? The veil needs feeding.
>>29595321>are they porn star mustaches?Definitely
>>29596373Thank you for posting this. I've been looking for it. I'm the one who wrote it, ever since I got my new computer I've been looking for it.
>>29596503Write a sequel, with a threesome
What bothers me most about HFY threads is the amount of reposts. That's why people get tired of it so quickly. We need a thread that consists mostly of OC with SOME reposts, not mostly reposts with SOME OC.And to the author of Alex and Lackey, I liked it. Some typos and grammatical issues aside, it was an enjoyable read.
>>29596567I wouldn't mind writing a sequel, but I need a good idea. Also threesomes are shit. Though I actually think of a way it could work with the current story, now that I think about it.
>>29584904NEEDS MOAR FUK
>>29596342There's a certain poetry to this shit.
>>29590533Many thanks anon, where was it exactly?
>>29593305Because it's good writings.
>>29580459Here's one that does that.
>>29596503Ah. So faggot-bug writer has returned. Faggotry aside, that was actually quite well written considering what it is, and even if we don't.>>29602298Personal collection. I find these stories interesting and a good inspiration for other activities.>>29603176I beg your pardon?
>>29604967I enjoyed reading what new content has been posted and so I bumped, and then explained why somewhat later.Pardon me for being a little silly with my reply. I forgot that some people have a fencepost up their ass.
>>29605102I am still not sure if that post was responding to me or not, but I'm going to take your response as a yes, it was a response to me.
>>29605102Had to bump this shit simply because of how funny it is. Jesus christ man, chill.
>>29603619Good god is that one impressive.
>>29578995You there! Check your past and present tense! You change between both constantly!
>>29606265I tried sticking to the past/present between each individual chapter break, but I see what you mean. I'll endeavor to make it more tense correct.
I haven't got much that's new or original, but I'll keep the thread bumped.
>>29607853The exactitude of HFY threads.FUCK YEAH.
Who has better HFY threads these days: /k/ or /tg/?
>>29608845hard question./tg/ seems to get more OC, but also seems to get infect with more haters and whiners of HFY./k/ Is a lot of copy-paste and more chest thumping, but far less bitching.
>>29608947Gotta say /tg/ simply because of OC.Sure you can have great stories, but if they're all reposted verbatim, then its useless.
Humans. Humanity. Humane. Humane, that is a deceiving word if i've ever read one. If i'd take any self-describing word from any other species it would be a good description on how that species make war. To be Kharkene is to be brutal and cold, to be M'xine is to be stealthy and deceptive, but to be Humane is to be gentle and caring. This, our High Logicians took as a sign of weakness and unwillingness to shed blood in the human species. Nothing could have been further from the truth. You see, humans have something they call “bersarkrgang” (Autotranslation: blood rage, maddening of the blood, red veil). One human warprisoner, Pry-Vhatt Le-Rhoy Chen-Khins Serv-Ice Num-Ber 650052697-C, described it as a desire to kill, maim, slaughter and utterly destroy every enemy in sight at the expense of self-preservation. It took five full power Lhas-Dhuu discharges, that each would have felled a individual of any other known species, and a severe beating with a Gho-Rham shockstick to subdue him from this “bersarkrgang” state. Out of my pod of six-and-three I lost three-and-one to this blood-mad human alone. And of those only one-and-nil was felled by ranged attacks. The other two-and-one were felled by a kicking, screaming, punching and biting blood-mad human swinging a depleted weapon and bent on our total destruction. We were lucky that the war was a short-lived ground one. I tell you here and now, if the High Logicians wants another go at humanity I'll personally throw my resignation in their metallic faces. For you see, humans are anything but humane in their ways of war.
>>29609281aaand 4chan done fucked up my formatting.
>>29596373What kind of jerk fucks an alien in the ass and doesn't have the goddamn courtesy to give 'em a reacharound?
>>29609281>Lee-Roy Chen-KinsAlmost stopped reading. Also it reads if if relying too heavily on alien-sounding names for regular objects or things. Calling it a "Gho-Ram shockstick" seems superfluous since shockstick already conveys the nature of the item and Gho-Ram is kind of left to the wind in terms of signifiance. By contrast, the Lhas-Dhu discharge one gets a pass because we didn't know what it did until you explained it immediately after presenting it.
Humor is the hardest thing to translate. Even across cultures, let alone across species, what people find funny is so different that as an order I get for my translation duties, I get an order to not express any jokes, so that I do not offend. I keep to this for an entire cycle.So I feel surprise when my Human translation partner suggests that we put on a comedy show, go 'on tour' across the Sector. Sure, the negotiations between Humans and Rakval and !mme do stretch on for cycles; sure, us translators grow quite close. But I do think that any amusement my partner expresses is out of politeness, not out of any genuine understanding. And even when I do think I understand a Human pun... I work with Human languages. I am atypical. And I know that while I can translate the words of, say, 'Who's on First', the humor itself cannot be understood so easily. I discuss this often.On the only cycle I have no work and my partner has no work, we discuss this at great length. I express my concerns, and the Human suggests we at least try it out over a meal. I try to translate a kvvan & frran joke, the Human tries to translate a joke about wishes, we display amusement out of politeness, not comprehension.We get up to go, the Human slips on a banana peel and does a pratfall. I flare red in glee, I notice that everyone in the room, regardless of species or culture, is amused ... and I realize that for all our differences, this translates. I explain this, the Human grins in happiness.You ask what the most important thing I learn during the conference is. It is not anything about the weaponry, or the resources, or the technology, or the politics. It is the humor. Let others discuss those other things; I share jokes. Human jokes. And you are amused. This is diplomacy at its best.
>>29609510I threw it together about 5 minutes ago and i couldn't come up with a better name on the spot. I blame lack of sleep and toothache. I'll probably give it a once over or two later on but i can't concentrate worth damn right now.
>>29609627Please, go for more. I enjoyed reading it, and if you can make it better, as the OP, I'd surely love it to be here.
Dumping some HFY I screencapped in a thread a while back
>>29612396And the last one
I had an idea for one; Hope it isn't too terrible."Humans? Humans! Don't talk to me about those accursed apes! How they evolved on a homeworld like that, and how they even evolved sentience with a body like that, I will never know.""I was the commander of ALL the ground forces when we were invading their homeworld. Course, none of the analysts said that humans had any hopes of winning; they didn't even have the ability to get ships into orbit on a daily basis, let alone the technology to fight us off.""I know you read the reports; and I know from the fact that you came to interview me that you know how much of them is false. Not wrong, or lies, but certainly not the truth. Humans are... well, they had no chance. Projectile weaponry, no personal shielding, no anti-spacecraft weaponry. Should have been an easy win. Should have... no, it shouldn't have, and it wasn't. It was a cruel and painful reminder that no one is infallible. I got cocky, thought that an ape had no hope of slowing us, let alone driving us back.""Well, the admiral in charge tasked me with driving the humans from their holes, wiping them out to the last. After all, they didn't have any space-weaponry, only a few space stations, and a ton of debris from their older launches. Nothing the shields on our shields and armored hulls couldn't hold against easily, even at the speeds the debris were moving.""Our dropships were ambushed every time we set down. At the time, I thought that they were just desperate; after all, none of them were successful in inflicting more than one or two casualties on my troops. Well, one went dark. The infamous Pariach-8265. The one time they got lucky, and managed to have enough troops amassed when it touched down to kill all of the troops on it, even the pilot."-Con't-
>>29613079"Of course, I thought they had some technical difficulties at the time; after all, their homeworld was far more dangerous than their troops, with temperature extremes and an atmosphere that could incinerate and melt your lungs if you took a breath there without a filtration mask, even before the humans poisoned it by accident. So, naturally, when that dropship reappeared on it's way back to one of the ships that had stayed to ferry us back home when the extermination was done, we had no idea anything was out of the ordinary. Sure, it didn't respond to hails, but that in and of itself wasn't strange. It was hardly the first to have comms equipment horribly mangled on that planet.""I'm sure if the admiral was still alive and had been stripped of his commission like me instead of executed by the humans before he could even get home he could give you a better idea of what happened there, but I guess I can suffice.""So, yeah, we realized something was wrong when it set a collision course for the largest of the ships, and then promptly rammed into its hangar. I only know this from watching the security feeds from the primary crew carrier ship, but the humans had managed to luck out and take one of the dropships mostly intact; and then somehow manage to correctly guess which ship was the flagship, and somehow retain enough speed to bust through the shields AND the hangar door.""So, some human special ops troops disembark and manage to loot a bunch of weaponry from the troops that asphyxiated in that hangar. And then, through a series of bizzare and improbable events, took the ship hostage, executed the admiral of the fleet, and then sent a command to the rest of the fleet to power down shields and open all our airlocks.""Remember that debris I told you about? Well, the humans didn't have some sort of superweapon like the history books say. No, they had something far more insidious."
>>29613300"They took the flagship back down to their planet to... dissect, to strip for technology as we struggled to get out of their planet's orbit and away from the debris that were tearing through the interiors of our ships. We reengaged the shields and closed the airlocks, eventually, but the damage had been done. Troops were mangled, staging areas were thrashed, the whole fleet was a mess, and we had no choice but to come home.""I suppose you know the rest, eh? They can't be falling that far behind in history if they aren't teaching you what happened next. I was discharged for incompetence, and it wasn't too long after that a human fleet arrived at our homeworld, using our technology against us.""I like to think the human who found out our atmosphere wasn't toxic to them was as surprised as we were. But however it worked, when the admiral of the human fleet met with the captured leaders of our species, it was face to face. And without translation software. Somehow, the humans had learned our language, and reverse engineered our technology, and assembled a fleet to counter our planetary defense fleet, and managed to build that accursed 'Space-Stick-Of-Doom' system they brought with them, all at the same time.""Humans are just one lucky break after another. I know that now. It's why I hate them all, and why I can't help but feel a little proud that the only thing that could best our species was a species that fortune itself seemed to favor."Well, that's done. How was it?
>>29613452I liked it
>>29613551Somehow I get the feeling I could have explained some things more, maybe given more of an explanation of what went on, but I think it turned out well anyway.At the very least, I don't think it qualifies as "shit."
>>29613869It works better without the details. Trying to explain that would end up in bad technobabble or insane science - It's better if it's from the mouth of someone who saw these things but only understood enough to be pissed.
>>29614040Really, you think so?Well, I guess so. Anywhere you can see where there's room for improvement? I admit it was probably a little short, especially compared to some of the other HFY these threads have produced...
I was waiting for one of these. Fetish insertion go!A tenth of the population of Earth had their rights revoked, their existence reduced to that of a product, of property. With them, we bought interstellar sovereignty and a stardrive, the bare minimum of independent existence in a cruel universe.These human slaves were valuable not because of mental or physical prowess. The human form was inferior to every specialized ET, and even some of the generalists. What made them sellable was the fact that they were TRUE slaves. We manufactured them with unshakeable loyalty, a single-minded dedication to their function and utter subservience. Only the human psyche bent rather than broke under such atrocity.Our first products where "pattern recognition appliances" and "combat expendables". The customers were satisfied, so we expanded with "neural sybiotes" and various "aesthetic units". It was only when we reached the third product generation did we realize how much more we could charge. We were, in essence, supplying a fragment of the dream that fictional AI had never delivered.Eventually, every "automated" system had a human behind it to make all the repetitive, fuzzy logic calls. Every boring, degrading or dangerous job too complex for AI was handled by a human.
cont. >>29614667Many among us were desensitized to our unethical trade. Time and fortune had eroded the ethical sanctity of free will. The ETs themselves see us as monsters for what we do to our kin, though the hypocrites continue to buy regardless of what they preach.But many more among us kindle a resentment that had never stopped smoldering since the first sale. We remember the daughter picked by lottery to become a scout station's fuzzy processing unit. We remember the bankrupted friend who was sold as a living artwork. We remember the colony conscripted into becoming the first wave in a petty flashpoint.Everyone has such a memory. We made sure of it.
cont. >>29614700Four years ago, our fifth generation of slaves were sold to the ETs. It was our most successful release yet. The line had replaced many of old systems and continues to run many existing ones. It was so robust that few customers opted to upgrade to gen sixes or sevens. We were free to cut back on our quotas.More importantly, no one had noticed our carefully hidden backdoor. No one had noticed the memetic trigger we released on the net a week ago, a week before the anniversary of us selling our souls. And in less than an hour, this trigger will activate hidden functions in our gen fives and above.ET stations and ships will vent their atmosphere or overload their cores. Research and intelligence centers will broadcast unencrypted data to our stations. Servants will assassinate officers, leaders and tycoons.In this chaos, we will seize back our free will.END
>>29614740Impressive.So, humans are the magnificent bastards, who instigate insane, decade long plans to kill all the filthy xenos? I approve.
>>29578841Veil of Madness is a classic!
>>29617791Shame theres only ever been four decent stories out of it
"All it takes for evil to succeed is for good men to do nothing."Hegalia. That's where it all started, for the war, for the humans, for me too. Hegalia was a pleasure planet near the rim of league territory. It was in a temperate band, had it's own flora, though no sentient fauna, and if the pictures I've seen are accurate, had astounding beaches. It was a holiday resort, peaceful and relaxing. I was a child, on my first vacation, barely a cycle and a half old. My parents... were going there for their anniversary.I don't really remember much of what happened, it sort of blurs together at points. I was too young, my memory has faded with time. So long ago. I do remember the human woman though. Heather Yale. If I close my eyes I can see her clearly.Humans weren't what they are now. They were a newcomer to the league, recently discovered FTL. The Victoria was only at Hegalia because they were so new. A cargo ship transporting their fruits and liquors delivered in bulk because they were fresh new and 'exotic'.
I'm thinking about tossing a "specifically-for-4chan" short story of my own little scifi setting. Bulletpoints:>humanity has reset itself 3 times>each time humanity became increasingly more creative in its lifespan>third time was the charm and created Earth>Earth suffered nuclear war, came out of it strong>Earth now commands a sector of the galaxy>Fought off an anomalous disease called "the Plague" that created biological warriors>>think Zerg but entirely humancentric>mankind's stake of the galaxy is a hypercapitalist confederacy>mankind has engineered supersoldiers specifically for dealing with the Plague and also rogue factions of the confederacy bent on self-destruction>aliens meet this Humanity and are greeted by a supersoldier kill-teamShould I do the write-y thing, Anons?>captcha: 1779 xiblaci>will use "Xiblaci" as a name for aliens
The Thaisians reached the sector three days into my parent's trip. A dozen war ships arrived in a system with only three patrol vessels whose only previous combat experiences were with a rogue smuggler. One of them was destroyed before they even had a chance to respond.Word went out immediately, the planet was a lost cause. The LDF ships were under gunned, and the planet had little tactical and absolutely no strategic value. The only thing of potential value were hostages, but we all know now that the Thaisians had no interest in capturing anyone. I know they are vilified even now, their captains judged harshly for their response and lack thereof, but they couldn't have known what would happen, nor could they have stopped it. And, at the very least, when they realized that the Thaisian were powering up weapons for an orbital bombardment, they gave an immediate evacuation order. That was the only real warning we had. The other ships left, three dozen ships, transports, cargo ships, personal pleasure crafts, they fled into the dark of space, abandoning the planet to it's fate.
The only warning my parents had was a blaring wail coming over the communications system. I didn't know what was happening. No one did. But they all saw the ships launching from the spaceport.It must have been a mad dash. I vaguely remember running, dad and mom grabbing my arms and pulling me off the ground as they were joined by others, running towards the only way off the planet. My mother fell, pushed over. I remember a flash of her face, obscured by legs, before my father picked me up and kept on running. I never saw her again. The Victoria was half full when the system was invaded. The captain, Pierce Menkin, may his soul shine in the heavens forever, heard the confused chatter and saw the transmitted holo of the system defense vessel being destroyed. He ordered the cargo to be dumped and pre-launch sequence to be activated as he contacted the remaining LDF ships, ignoring orders to leave immediately, to see how long he could remain. His crew began to clear out as much space as they could for anyone who could reach the ship, even while the rest of the spaceport emptied. Three dozen ships took off within the span of a minute. They alone stayed, counting down the minutes, the seconds until their ship had to take off.
One of their crew, Heather Yale, ran into the hall and called out to us, a charging horde of alien life. I like to think she had the confidence to stand there, stern and clearheaded, but she must have been as panicked as the rest of the adults. She dashed back to the ship as the holiday makers flooded through the doors. The ship was stuffed with bodies within seconds. Full of life, crushed together, barely able to take a breath. My father didn't make it inside. There were just too many bodies.I felt the world spin, and suddenly I was above the rest, held high as my father could hold me. He was screaming, begging for the others to let him through so I could be saved. He didn't care if he couldn't be saved, only that I made it off the planet. I was told later that Heather saw me, held above the crush of bodies, pointed to me and ordered the panicked mob to give me to her. It didn't work. The people were too desperate, the stench of fear and despair was filling the air. Even though they were almost thick enough to walk upon, I was too small to understand and nobody would have listened regardless.
She did the unthinkable. She tied a cord around some exposed piping, said something to one of the other humans, and then forced her way to me, pushing through the throng. I remember her, grabbing me from my father's arms, reaching down and tying that rope around me. I can still see her eyes in my dreams. They were so determined. Then... then the ship began to take off. It hovered, and I saw one of the other humans grabbing the rope and pulling it. He couldn't real us both in... couldn't with both of our weights. She looked at the ship, then back at me, and then slipped free of her bindings. The ship's ramp was closing, hovering over the ground, I was dangling by that cord, a human burly, brown haired, face beat red, pulling at the rope. Tears were streaming down his face as he pulled me inside, clutching me to his chest and sobbing, the hatch shutting behind me. The very last sentient saved from Hegalia.Later, much later, I found out that that man's name was Nathan Yale. -Ilkin Campos, The Thaisian Invasion and the S-Class Victoria, Prologue
>>29618721Fuck it I'm writing anyway.The stars are so beautiful at night. We could stare at them slack-jawed, the stellar shapes. What nobody was able to comprehend, was that these stellar shapes stared back, slack-jawed to quickly consume us on a scale so great as to be unfathomable. If it weren’t for how far we’ve come, we would never have known that we were sliding down their throats.The Xiblaci Sector was something of an anomaly. We knew it in our schools as a sector where civilizations large and small went to die. All I knew, before the 1779-Xiblaci Incident, was that civilizations very old and very much dead left messages - complete with translation keys - about a Scourge.They said the Scourge was an unstoppable, powerful force that took to the stars worshipping a Holy Man that nothing could best. They said the Scourge was coming, and that nothing could be done to stop it. And then nothing would come from that sector. The Directorate, at the time our Council of Ptryys, sent probes. These things watched a sector full of shattered hulls and corpses of vessels from civilizations that were on the verge of extending from their sector.And then silence, as another face showed itself in the Xiblaci Sector. This face wasn't anything our probes could identify, but we quickly identified their vessels changing and evolving with their technology. They found something, a remnant of the Scourge, and shortly after we realized that they WERE the Scourge. They would find dead homeworlds, terraform them, and replant the societies that they had obliterated. These societies would find the Scourge, unwittingly joining their society and ultimately dying in a bloody war. When they made it to the edge of the sector, a similar silence occurred.But we watched this one, and it was something we hope to the stars we never have to observe again.>cont
>>29619505But we watched this one, and it was something we hope to the stars we never have to observe again.My race can observe the rise and fall, it's something we perfected with our Rebirth technologies. It allows one mind to survive for as long as his mind can take. So, while I was a child, my father was living with this terrifying fact.The Scourge had self-destructed its entire race. In a confusing turn of events, the final race they created made the Scourge surrender. We intercepted a broadcast where the Scourge had officials dressed in full funeral-regalia announcing what they called a "Reprieve." All of their technology, everything they knew, all gone. They planted themselves on a planet suitable for their race, and replaced one species with an entirely vat-grown selection before performing a racial suicide.On this planet, we watched them rise. A race they left behind, called the "Precursors," watched them as silent guardians to prevent an unearned advance in technology, the likes of which had caused the wars that wiped the sector clean before.They subjected themselves to the horror of the atomic weapon, and all was lost. One of our Councillors was there, watching. He took a special interest, and the Precursors worshiped him as a God. However, they decided that the Scourge had died once more. His disagreement caused the Precursors to violently enter a schism, and collapse.And sure enough, the Scourge stood up. As a race, their previous forms had left them with gifts in their genetic code. Powerful psionics, these gifts allowed them to combine technology and manipulate space-time in such a way as to renew the planet's resources and skyrocket into the stars. In two-hundred of their planet's orbital cycles, they began to find their old home and expand.A tragedy struck, as some kind of monstrous disease rocketed from a sect of these people determined to make biological answers to each technological innovation.Few things were more terrifying.>cont
>>29619775The Plague carved chunks from the dying body of the Scourge. Their military forces retreated, holding up in a defensive blockade around their core colonies. We watched in terror as something came from the dark. The Scourge had something so potent they did not even know it existed.This shadowy organization leaped out, daggers drawn and teeth bared to fight the Plague back. The Scourge fell into its genetic history and met one horror with another. Asymmetrical warfare and poor military choices saw the Plague eliminated. Scourge against Plague, both extremely similar names, and as we had come to expect the Scourge came out victorious.A political vacuum was created, and the Scourge became a confederacy of nations in its own sector. The Xiblaci Sector fell into an uneasy peace, until the Plague resurfaced. A hive mind had formed, and crippled a planet. The Scourge had taken a new name, and although its nose was still bloody (a phrase they use to describe an arduous struggle, read subsection 18), and this time they used the tricks of the Plague against them.They declared that they had perfected war, and had perfected something no Council-Race had ever dreamed of doing. The Scourge used technological advances brought about by researching the biological warriors to create things of its own. Re-purposing its own people, squads of warriors created for the outright destruction of any foe were sent. They called them BELLATOR, a word in a dead language for "Warrior."They were showy, totally stealthy, and completely predictable. But credit where it is due, they were posting results no Council-Race knew possible. The Plague was defeated, conquered, and utterly exterminated. There were reports of others from intercepted transmissions, some sort of "Unit" that was astronomically more effective.Before the 1779-Xiblaci Incident, we thought it was just a rumor. But we are now recoiling from the Xiblaci Sector like an arm would from a fire.>cont
>>29619931I was unfortunately on that ship, on that squad that was attached as an armed escort for the ambassador vessel.We landed on a planet we felt was uninhabited, and began to set up the requisite buildings to falsify a homeworld and a fledgling race within their sector. We found something else entirely.The shadowy organization had a base there, and what we did not know was that this was where their "Unit" resided. At first, we thought we were being attacked by local wildlife. We found no evidence. A planet almost -too- clean. We ignored it. They were violent, but not unreasonable.There were four of them.In seconds, our patrols were silent. In minutes, our powergrid was down. In an hour, we knew we were under attack without a doubt.I was part of a fireteam, our blood boiling in a mix of fear and fury. Our race had reaped the most benefits from Scourge surveillance, we had become the most warlike race learning from them. The Scourge fought until the job was done, and we took that as a challenge. We are the Council's Twebodu, humans would call us a weapon.But, as I focused through my armor, I saw a single figure. I recognized it as a female Scourge. We aimed our weapons, and barked what we thought was an appropriate announcement of our intent to make peace."We mean you no harm, we are Findui, we know of your race's feats, Scourge, we res-"A scream with no source entered my mind, the female raised her hand up, energy arcing from her body as pieces fired off what I pray to the Stars was an artificial exoskeleton. Our spacecraft crumpled, and was fashioned into an imitation of my own helmet before slamming down into my squad. I rolled, watching another female jump over the first's head and bearing a weapon we now know as a 'shotgun.'I readied my shielding, expecting a blast. Instead I was engulfed in flame, watching as she danced about with explosives leaving a prosthetic limb.A third figure walked from the foliage, weapon revving.
>>29620120(forgot >cont)As he walked, his machine gun tore apart more of my squad, punching holes larger than I was in armor plates and spattering us.A fourth sprinted with a melee weapon, its blade lined with plasma and a pistol to his off-hand. This squad operated on such a level of cooperation that I had almost forgotten the first female, who was fashioning an explosion produced by the second into a funnel that engulfed a tank.I could only scream as I was lifted up, and was launched back to the central structure. Ironically, it was to be our embassy's main hall. We were looking to create peace.I asked myself several times how we could have misread these people. How did we misread the Scourge? They were victorious, why would they seek more enemies?!A surge of energy slammed into me, throwing me through a wall. I raised a weapon, a class-7 plasma weapon, that would melt tanks and warp atmosphere behind its blasts. I fired, and the source of the energy was another figure. He was different, he was unique to the other four. The plasma took off chunks of his armor, exposing pink flesh and burns. He created barriers around each exposure, until one hit him in the face.I saw... I saw innards. He should have died! I had seen Scourge individuals take bullets to the face on the surveillance feeds, we KNEW they would die to those wounds!But this one didn't. He walked. His face recovered, and he picked me up by my throat."We are Mankind. Tell your superiors that we are no Scourge," his face held a furious glance, and eyes I could tell had observed horrors beyond my imagining, "We are the Lion, we will give you the fight that will open your eyes,"To this day, I awake in terror from the recollections. He looked into my soul, my -soul- and said to me something he had to have made his personal prayer:"Don't close the coffin yet, I'm alive."We fear Mankind, and the rumors surrounding the Xiblaci Sector are all true. Mankind, the Lion, rests there.
>>29620353Done.It's probably shit. I don't want to make aliens canonical in my lore largely because I -really- don't think they would be able to compete with them at all, short of having plasma weaponry (which isn't truly an advantage IMO, I mean the Tau kind of get their asses beat regularly enough).Thoughts? Was it shit? Did I into aliens well enough?
>>29620387it was kinda hard to follow. Like, at all. the bits about the scourge and whatnot at the beginning make very little sense, and you never explain much of anything.
>>29620449The Scourge was mankind, the implications were that they showed up in that sector and just kicked the shit out of a race the rest of the galaxy studied and respected.They showed up again after detonating their culture, and when the narrator's people investigated they found Mankind (the race they exterminated called them the Scourge) expanding and planting new races around their sector before beating them into extinction again. Mankind was like 'oh wow that was stupid' and exploded themselves to start over.I didn't really explain that well at all... Did I? Fuck I probably should have let it get some more posts in it.
>>29620509yeah to be honest, I had no idea what was going on with the whole scourge thing and the whole mankind reset thing just further muddled matters.
>>29620606Basically the gist is that mankind reset itself twiceFirst time they had the last race in the sector send out a beacon of "we're fucked" and called Mankind the Scourge. They hit the edge of the sector, and that was it. Something caused them to reset their society.Second go they found samples of the races, rebuilt them, and exterminated them again. A Councillor joins when they reset again, curious to see what's the deal. The new Humanity goes to Earth, blows itself up, the guardian race offs itself, and the Councillor leaves.Mankind manages to fuck itself out of a bad situation, and their ancestors gave them the potency for psionic power and yadda, they reset Earth after the war and leap off that rock and take to the rest of the sector. They discover the Plague, fight it, and win. The Plague return, and are beaten down again.Our narrator has only known Humanity by the name assigned to it, Scourge. They rarely intercepted communications. He introduces himself, and goes "oh yea we're cool, Scourge, we like you" but he gets his shit kicked.Combat, these supersoldiers beat ass, and he is basically the only guy who lived in the incident after meeting a soldier that wouldn't die - a metaphor for how Humanity had died twice before and just got back up for business as usual.I probably need to go back to the drawing board for this one.
>>29618663>>29618733>>29618764>>29618859>>29618947I've read that one beforeAt least say you're pasting something
>>29620710don't explain it to me, explain this in the story dood.
>>29620894Yea, it's how I work my head around a writing challenge. I've got the thing up in a googledoc and I'm going to be fleshing it out a lot more there.Thanks for the tip, though! As an aside, I will say Captcha is a nice way to get 'alien' words.
>>29620387I have no fucking clue what this is about, it's more confusing than the 4th dimensional rock one.
>>29578995Dunno if its because I'm tired, but I cant get a visual of what "Lacky" looks like
So, was Gaston justified in trying to kill The Beast?
>>29578853Did somebody say Weaponthanes?
>>29580962This one always scares the hell out of me. Perhaps if we do take to the stars, we should distribute the story to ship captains as required reading for if the ever do meet a unified species.We do have to identify threats after all.
First Contact with the Mercatorians, as we called them, went smoothly. They were traders at heart, and seemed to relish poring over the proposed treaties. The translators spent the better part of a month ironing out the legalese, but the Mercatorians agreed wholeheartedly to the spirit of the negotiations. Trade routes with Earth, restrictions on tariffs and quotas, currency exchange. We wanted free trade; so did they. And as I prepared to deliver the last draft to Earth for ratification, I politely asked if there was anything else they wished to discuss.The Mercatorian delegation chittered amongst themselves for several minutes before the translator spoke: "We wish to inquire as to plans for development of Human local stellar holdings."I blinked. "I am afraid I do not quite understand the question." Another minute of chittering followed."We are inquiring on the status of the Human holding of 'Hispana-9'.""...Could you show me this holding on a map?" I had more fingers on my hand than Earth had colonies, and none of them were called Hispana. What were they talking abut?The Mercatorians were happy to oblige, and soon I was staring at an obviously undeveloped world on the edge of Mercatorian space. "Rhelomallians are here," said the translator, pointing towards the edge of the map, "and Ikrodens are over here. We would wish to discuss shipping routes through your holding. As requested, we have not infringed on your territory until your empire contacted us."Something wasn't adding up. How did we gain control of an entire planet without noticing? I began searching my diplomatic database with any query I could think of, and came up with nothing every time."My apologies, I was given no instructions regarding this planet and my database seems to be missing the relevant files. Could you give me its history?" More chittering and this time they pulled out their own datapads. One of them hurried out of the room.
>>29623353"In 3920 Galactic Standard Year, a police scout tracked a distress message to wreckage on the planet of Hispana-9. As per protocol, they landed to investigate. They found a human exploratory team on site, along with a Mercatorian trader wanted for crimes of the highest order. According to his testimony, they overpowered him and took him hostage. We negotiated to have him turned to our custody for judgement."Another Mercatorian interrupted. "Your exploratory team leader was quite shrewd. When he realized that he had the most wanted man in Mercatorian space, he was able to wrest what is in hindsight valuable concessions from us. Hispana-9 was observed as mostly useless at the time, but has become much more valuable now that we realize Rhelomallia and Ikrode lies beyond it.""As mentioned, your emissary negotiated control of Hispana-9," continued the first Mercatorian, "and the surrounding space. We agreed to treat the region as quarantined until your empire began formal negotiations. We requested that the Rhelomallians and Ikrodens avoid the planet on your behalf as well, and they have obliged."The Mercatorian that had left the room earlier returned, carrying a box approximately two and a half meters long. "It is unfortunate that your exploratory team did not survive until this meeting. When we spoke with them last, they requested that we return this to your empire."Inside the box was a staff, and at its head was a gleaming golden eagle. As I stared at it, the pieces started to click together."Good lord. IX Hispana... it's the Lost Legion."Rome conquered the stars."
>>29621019Yes. Unfortunately for him the loner aristocrat monster negleting his subjects was supposedly a good guy.
Many of these stories are based around the WW2 Eastern-Front dynamic1)Plucky humans win through superior choices and training (German)2)Stoic humans win through sheer spirit, sacrifice and determination (Russian)Throw in mixes of tech/numbers/industry and that's the majority of stories you'll find
As an exchange student for Bragnor 9, I can honestly say that Earth is my cultured then we are.No, really.The art, music, smells and sounds and architecture is divine. It feels so fresh and interesting, so spontaneous. It's not like the Culture Squares back on our homeworld. They feel fake, preplanned. That's because they are. But on Earth, everything is much nicer.Maybe I'm just a young little reptile that thinks the scales are always shinier on the other homeworld. But I'd like to think I'm not just being biased here.My first day I went to a museum. I only had one planned, but after that I was hooked and I went to four over the next week. So much variety! After that I went to a food festival. I had to put all of the food I purchased into my pocket processor so I could eat, but I still appreciated it's flavor and richness.I went to a library, sports gymnasium, a circus and more all in a few days. I wouldn't trade the experience for anything.But I wanted to sample one last bit of human culture before school would start and I would be busy with my human anatomy and physiology classes.That night, I went to a strip club.Holy fucking shit. You will not believe what happened.
>>29623546Please stop, unless this is meant to be satire of HFY
>>29623546diary of a humaboo
>>29623546The strip club was small and smokey, dark. Colored lights flashed and the music sounded like explosions in the distance. It didn't sound very loud to me, human ear drums are much more susceptible to loud 'base'.Anyway, inside the strip club there were poles leading up to the ceiling on the stage. I sat in a nearby chair (as best I could, considering my biology) and watched. Within a few minutes the lights dimmed further and the show began.Out came a male human wearing a tiny little thong.Holy fucking shit. A human expression, I use it here to denote my reaction. Holy fucking shit.The man bounced and gyrated around the pole, whacking his genitalia, barely concealed and tucked away, in the general direction of the audience. The audience was full of men, and a few females, but mostly men. They were rowdy and drunk, and it was obvious they were all in heat.Only later did I realize that humans don't go into heat. This surprised me. Are they that 'horny' all the time? Another human expression.I left that night with my primary heart palpitating. These human males were the pinnacle of attractiveness. I had to get more.Now I was horny too.Using the human internet, I searched around and did a little independent research. I soon found what I was looking for. Apparently humans solicit sex with each other over the human internet. It was strange, but I decided to make an ad. I tried to be as sexy as possible.'Young Reptiloid male wants to get plugged by dominant, muscular human male!'I got a response that day.
Damnit, I can't believe I missed this thread. I thought they had gone extinct!At least, I can throw in a joke:>Ever heard of the Quorian Drug Torture? They don't use it on humans.>Never?>Well they did, once.>Why only once?>The test subject didn't give them anything, he just wrote a book.>What? What book?>Fear And Loathing In Las Vegas.
>>29580714This one is my favorite. A refreshing departure from the usual "We made humans mad then they fucked shit up" or "Damn, humans never give up" stories.
>>29584198That last line of dialogue shouldn't be there. Either make it narration, or delete it entirely.
I'm getting the feeling that the term "Guerilla Warfare" would make for some suitable writing. Has it been done already, or is there someone with better artistic skills than me up to challenge to write it?
>>29580714This one's a keeper. It shows the better side of humanity rather than the warlike culture we endow to ourselves. This is one I'll cherish.
>>29623927How do you mean?
>>29623963I'm guessing it would make for some pretty cliché "Humans never give up" yadda yadda, but I'm kinda liking the idea of some big, bad alien race encountering guerilla warfare for the first time.
>>295845741 million/10 cried my eyes out.
>>29623981I'm on the job!
>>29578811The mental image of rockets just rolling out of a spaceship is giving me a severe case of the jollies.
>>29623993Sweet. I'm not trusting myself to being able to type something like that, so I appreciate it. In this case, humans doesn't win either I guess, but that was my general idea of it. Do with it as you please, I appreciate the effort nonetheless.
>>29623983Thank you for your kind words.>>29623981I'll give it a shot in the future, but I doubt it'll live up to anyones expectations. Guerrilla warfare is a very broad and difficult matter, as it can only be done well on land (seeing as humans are incapable of truly understanding space warfare at present). But I'll try.
>>29578819>Uruk warriors, hungering not for bloodshed but the camaraderie of fellow soldiers.......often reach high command>You are now imagining Commissar orks and Lord General Orks
>>29623981>>29624022The Lkari have been masters of warfare for five hundred years. Fleets en masse, carrying arsenals so great empires have folded merely at the prospect of incurring the storm of fire promised in those guns. Alas, empires decay as empires are wont to do, and over time Lkari discarded their origins of guardianship and moral discourse, and simply began to conquer for its own sake. This is perfectly natural, but wielded the sword of the Lkari Fleet, it was devastating.Oppression began to spread like a pathogen, growing and consuming and covering all that it touched. There were places of resistance, famously Qhworl's Last Stand, which gutted the Lkari Flag Ship at the cost of the Kazan homeworld, or Vanyo's Gambit, which was devastating in its own right.
>>29624199I'm cautiously optimistic, but the entry seems a bit...forced.
>>29624199Again we find this less than encouraging, as soldiers and materiel were merely replenished and rebuilt from the infrastructure the Lkari had claimed. On the whole it did more damage to morale than the actual effort. Such stories dotted a litany of expansion until the Lkari came to a small civilization centered around its high-gravity homeworld, Earth- Terra as it came to be known.As was by then standard procedure, Terra was given the choice of surrender, or systematic eradication. None of us saw it then, but there was lain the seed of a gamble that would span the length, breadth, and depth of the Lkari Empire: the humans wanted to be part of the war effort.The humans would surrender under the caveat that they be allowed to man the ships and guns of the Great Fleet, that they take their efforts on wars that could be won. A second caveat being that they have an embassy. It was daring, at least, to make demands in their position, moreso that they would put themselves at further disadvantages as soldiers of the Lkari. Daring or no, they took this agreement, happy to have war thralls dedicated to the effort.
>>29624267Eh, not my best work, but I'm trying.
Wow, so much OC. I love you guys. Here's one I wrote a while back.
>>29624281And for a time? It was good. The Great Fleet prospered, the Terran Fleet was given form, and in their own right the small fleet of Terra swung far above its weight, carrying a similar bargain: plato o plumo. Silver or lead. An ancient saying that carried with it promises either of wealth or death. Where its claimants chose death, their closely-guarded tactics became the elite of all star navies in known space.Human officers served on Lkari ships, took care of their young, manufactured their goods, and were well-treated for a conquered people. It all changed one quiet day on the Lkari Homeworld.Fifteen nuclear warheads turned the capital city to smoldering glass.By all rights it was considered an act of terrorism.
>>29624300I know, and I applaud it. Keep on going broski, it aint like you have anything to lose!
>>29624337And a few of my favourites.
>>29624342In a thousand systems, in a hundred theatres of war each, the Terrans first bared their teeth. Ships were mutinied, scouts simply disappeared, and a billion acts of sabotage all went off at once.Prey turned predator. The much smaller Terran Fleet would warp in out of nowhere, strike, and leave before the much larger Lkari could muster a proper defense. Factories, shipyards, bombed by what were thought to be civilians; the Lkari ability to make war systematically wounded piece by piece.On the ground, terrans have always been a terror, but in caves and jungles and deserts and cities the quadrant over, they again struck only to melt into the woodwork before retaliation could be affected.The Lkari faced a number of terrible choices. To strike at the terrans, they would have to fire through their own civilians, level entire cities, scour entire mountains from the faces of planets.Strike, fade away, sabotage, poison, undercut.
>>29624378This is the heart of rumor and legend, that behind every debris field is a Terran cruiser, that every hulk is booby-trapped, and every jungle crawls with invisible boogeymen.For all this, the Lkari have not learned. They are an army, a singular unit, that moves with ponderous slowness and strikes down with the weight of a star; Terrans are ghosts in the night.This is the state of war today, and we fight a foe much larger than ourselves. Are chances are at best astronomical and at worst futile. It is in this effort that we will learn the ways of the Terrans. The ways of false colors and assassinations and denying the enemy victory over claiming it ourselves. To quote the ambassadors of these two civilazations at their last contact, we look to that exchange:Lkari Salexa asked, "Why fight if you cannot win? What is the point? You will lose this war."Terran Garibaldi replied, "Maybe... but there's no scenario in which you win."
>>29623691You gonna post some alien smut or what?
>>29624199>>29624281>>29624342>>29624378>>29624399Decent. I like it. Far better than what I could ever have accomplished I reckon.
>>29624424Spasibo, comrade. I admit it's a bit less personal than it could be, but I'm not ashamed of it.
>>29623855>>29624409Nah. I don't feel like it.
>>29624484OP, here, and god damn I wasn't let down. Great shit, cyka.
>>29596937Write a story with a ship AI. Everybody loves some robot booty. > Gravity control> Mobile interface & maintenance platforms a la EDI> Temperature changes> Vibrating machinery> Cameras and other internal sensors> Sexy synthesized voice PAs> Jumping to warp as climax
I'M GOING TO DO A THINGSpacers define their life by three sounds. The first, they hear when they are born. Philosophers argue endlessly about whether the silence of space is a sound, but to a spacer, that quiet is what they fall in love with. City folk love the dull roar of traffic and the conversation of millions of souls, just like farmers love the wind of whatever planet they call home rustling through their crops. Spacers own the quiet spaces between the stars. The second, they hear when they make planetfall for the first time. The riotous chaos of a spaceport after the silence of space makes most spacer kids cry, first time. Most spacers are traders, carrying goods across starlanes from planet to planet. There’re the military brats that grow up on patrol warships, cruising the edges of known space. A few pirate vessels even carry families, with the children along with them. They all spend most of their time in space, but even the longest voyage need to make port every now and again. Most of the time, it’ll be a backwater planet where a spacer kid takes his first steps in natural gravity, with a star above his head, and dirt under his feet. Sometimes, it’s a major trade hub, or even a citysphere. An old spacer legend tells that if the kid was walking before planetfall, they’ll stay up in the stars forever. They all know it isn’t true, but they still get a little thrill of hope if their baby toddles across hull plating before they tramp across a planet. Those first steps on a planet, though, that’s probably the most defining moment in a spacer’s life. That one brief moment when you step down off the landing ramp, and feel the tug of a planet beneath you, and the heat of a star above, it makes or breaks a spacer.
>>29625125(fucked up my formatting a little)They don’t like to admit it, but everyone who makes their life trolling the emptiness has one thing in common: they’re running. They felt that tug, that insistent pull, and they felt trapped. Once in a while, when it comes time to leave, a spacer kid will go reluctantly up the ramp. The third sound, the final sound, every spacer hears eventually. Even the most cautious and meticulous spacer will hear the ever-so-faint hiss of atmosphere escaping. Maybe a piece of debris knocked a hole in the hull. Maybe an airlock didn’t seal right. It doesn’t matter the cause, because a good spacer will tell you that it terrifies everyone, at first. Eventually, it becomes almost a comfort. It reminds you that the ship is alive. The oldest spacers welcome it. They take it as a sign. A ship might stay in a spacer family for decades, if not centuries. Eventually, they break down beyond repair. That hiss tells you that it’s not time just yet. When it becomes a whistle, or a howl, a good spacer scraps it and moves on. A bad spacer dies. The hiss also plays into the death ritual every spacer holds dear. When an old spacer starts to slow at the helm, he moves to navigate. When his eyes can’t read the navscreen, he moves to the galley. When his hands start to shake, he knows. He says his goodbyes, gets pumped full of pain-killing drugs, sits down in the airlock, and waits. He hears the hiss one last time.
>>29625139Spacers are predominantly human. Granted, most species maintained patrol vessels, and you could write a who’s who of the Pangalactic Confederacy based on pirate crews, but traders were almost all human, human pirates outnumbered others by a large margin, and you could probably find at least three humans, but usually a lot more, on every warship in the galaxy (even in the ones that require 17 appendages and at least some level of telekinesis to operate). When asked about a homeworld, most will name the ship they were born on. Some will name some citysphere or trading hub. A few will name a backwater. Every now and again, you get one who will tell you a story of their long-lost homeworld. She’ll get a glint in her eye that tells you she’s been looking for it since she was old enough to fly. No two stories are exactly the same, but they have the same basic themes. Some big disaster, either created or natural, millennia in the past, causes a massive exodus. A few colonies are established (and these are almost as much of a legend as a homeworld), but for some reason, they keep moving. Some might settle here and there on garden worlds and cityspheres, a few on harsher planets, but the majority of the species just keeps running from that pull. Most don’t even know they might have a home to go back to. You’ll meet at least one in your lifetime, though. She’ll have a mad gleam in her eyes. She’ll be one of the best pilots you’ll ever meet. One day, she’ll be gone without a trace. Anyone you ask will say that haven’t heard from her in months. She pointed her ship in some random direction, and started going. She’ll probably have died out in the huge swathes of uncharted territory out there, but maybe, just maybe, she’ll have found her way home.
>>29624868>that last oneIt's like something of a comedy, where every adventure ends up happening because some new crew member isn't aware of it and they get to their new location for the episode.
>>29625368> "What happened? Why did we leave the station?"> "While you were asleep, Ensign Dekoy and I engaged in sexual activities. We jumped a total of 23 light years to the Grove system. Would you like a report on the planets in this system?"
>>29625463I can already imagine Ensign Dekoy's face when that happens.
>>29624517thats good i can feel my soul slowly getting corrupted slaneesh calling me
>>29625125>>29625139>>29625155Very good. I really like it.
>>29624517Wow, such bait. 9/10 trolls for you. Now repeat it on /d/, for maximum troll.
>>29609587Now this is a story I can get behind.
>>29619505>>29619775>>29619931>>29620120>>29620353>>29620387Hey, I've taken that hunk of unfollowable shit to a GoogleDoc and started hacking at it. Should I post the link (allows comments) or slowly put up the revisions?I worked on making it a lot more clear that Mankind is the race centered on the story and yadda yadda.
>>29578875>mfw my "10/10" comment was capped too
>>29630433I love that one, one of my favorites.
>>29578995Not reading the entire thing but after the first page I'm guessing it's a love story.
Too lazy to scan this. Anyone have anything by me? Interested in seeing if my story spread from /k/.
>>29631143None in this thread. You should share.
>>29631371Brb, grabbing the imagecaps.
Here's the first I did, ever. I have others, and I'm sure I've got a few saved on my drive.
>>29631446That was really good. do you have the screencap from the alien side?I will appreciate everything you dump.
Here's an interrogation!
>>29631769>>29631821>>29631849Loving them! Got anymore?
>>29630492All right stop that, this has gotten far too silly.
>>29631961Well, that's the wonder of writing. I can always expand.I wanted to possibly talk with all the authors and assemble a book of these, maybe write a full on universe for my own stories.In terms of updates, I think I have a few more of my own lying around. Gimme a sec.
I stand tall in the deluge of torrential rain, listening to the screams howling from before me. Like a mad dog in desperate need of putting down. Bear chested, I smirk. The smoke from the four barrels of torment quickly vanishing in the downpour. One by one the screams bleed out and my smirk becomes a roar of laughter. From my vantage point, I survey, like a carnivorous angel, the ruin brought on by this short quintupled barrelled tank. 'Hydra'. I roll the name over my tongue, tasting it, like some sort of rare vintage wine. Water pours down my carapace helmet, over my body and soaks into my standard issue trousers. Still I don't move. The tank hatch beneath me remains locked shut. In the blackness I am blind, but I do not need eyes to see. In the land of the blind only the desperate panic, only the hopeless, the damned.Under my feet the mechanical harbinger of death turns slightly. As if scenting the air, ready. Always ready to hunt. I adjust my feet and move with it. I am a puppet and right now I dance to the tune of my electronic eyes. “HEAR ME” I bellow to the blackness “IN MY HAND I HOLD THE POWER OF LIFE AND DEATH, BOW BEFORE ME, AS YOU ARE TO ME AS I AM TO GOD! GIVE ME YOUR SONS AND DAUGHTERS TO SAKE MY HUNGER!” Silence answers. I pause waiting, ears straining under the thick padding in my helmet. I open my mouth to shout again when a light blue bolt of plasma hurtles by my head, close enough it blesses my face with supercharged heat. For a moment I'm lost in imagination, something other than bone chilling rain and sopping wet ration packs exist.
>>29579974if you want humans being awesome then there is a series of 8 or so books called the human chronicles on amazon. HUMANS ARE SUPERMEN! is the tagline
The Hydra snaps round like a junkie would to the offer of pure, grade A, capital Spook. It'll end the same too; quick, messy and every bit as fatal. BOOF, BOOF the barrels hurl out death at 3500 rounds per minute converting concrete into dust and xenos into air vapour. Anti air against infantry. Can the dead hold a grudge? Can nurses really hook you up on cheap narcotics and cheaper sex? I squat down to maintain my footing, illuminated by the countless flashes of gun lights, my moments seeming jerky in the quasi light, like some kind of motion picture poorly strung together. I cackling like a maniac, unable to hear myself over the Hydras delivery of righteous justice. Middle fingerers outstretched I hope in vain it's the image that falls with them down to hell.Finally shells stop falling, it's past the last curtain call and the lights are out. As HFY as I get.
I made this. I've seen it around, but this is the original one.I have the other as well, one sec.
>>29632224Very nice! Would you fancy helping me with a little...project?
>>29632224Here's the other half, from the Human's perspective.
>>29632350Assemble a book, novel of sorts, of a lot of HFY. Find the original creators. Get them to contriboot.I was planning then on expanding and writing an entire section on my own galaxy, from the POV of a single protagonist on the front lines. Alien, probably.
>>29632416Sort of a fictional history on the level of World War Z?
>>29632485Yes. Of course, I'd like to have a section dedicated to the best of original stories, but if I could get people to write stories based on my galaxy, or someone else's, then that would just be AMAZING.
>>29632485But no dumbass movie with an A-list actor though.
>>29632583Guillermo del Toro could do that kind of thing.I mean, I'm not sure if Charlie Hunnam was A-List but del Toro did H:FY the right way, IMO
>>29631446Holy fuck that was really well done!
>>29633008Thank you Anon. If you want more, that'll be $14.99 per month.
>>29612431I rather liked that. humanity needs guardian demons.
>>29632113Please, please do. These are great! I thought my own OC was decent, but your stories have captivated me. Post everything at your disposal!!
>>29633251Thanks. Currently, I'm writing another project (focuses on the Texan Federation and the Second Civil War) for a client of mine.Once I'm *done* with that (it's gonna be a novel, so a while) I can take care of the HFY stuff.Until then, I can start collecting the best for myself. From there, its going to get a huge-ass project, where everyone in /tg/ can help me write out a World War Z style history for the bad boy. I'd give out a general history of everything building to the point, and start organizing from there. I'd pick a few select already-written stories, and borrow those.
>>29633019I come from /v/ little anon. We do not tolerate pay-to-read.
>>29633434Is the novel going to be released to the public?
>>29633434Your writing style is amazing, so let me ask you this, one author to another:What did you think of Alex and Th'lakis? I've read every single post and critique, I understand my past-present tenses could do a good working over, and that my descriptions of characters want for so much more, but is there anything you could tell me about whatever it is that irks ya? What could I have done better?
>>29633696Hopefully. How's a dollar sound? The dollar would go towards me being able to compile and write more of this stuff. Seriously, I'm not talking one thread, I'm talking 300 pages of serious stuff, all based within this universe.Assuming a whole bunch of people contriboot, then that money could be used to share between all of us to buy something.>inb4 book won't sellWho cares? Then I'd make it free, and no one loses anything.>>29633733Sorry, but I haven't read your stuff yet. Would you be kind enough to link to it please?
>>29634474Read >>29578995Or the 33 post OC in the thread.
>>29634575I suppose I should get a trip, but we hates them.
>>29634717Because tripfaggotree ruins the whole premise of 4chan. I don't want recognition, I want an honest-to-god critique, not dicksucking.
>>29586388I found the first chapter. It's complete shit, but if you still want it, I'll post it.
>>29621019Yes, but he was still kind of a dick.
>>29634575Just finished.I thought it was a pretty decent story! The ending was good, a great relationship shown, and a good ending.Though, you did use the word retard. Twice. A bit strange, I think you could find some better stuff than that.
>>29635628I'm not worried about upsetting people, I'm notnot worried about "social justice" (as much as it pains me to put down here) I'm simply looking for making the interactions of my characters seem cruel and understood. They respect each other, they have lived beside each other for a long time, and they've learned between themselves that insults can be endearing.I'm not worried about that particular facet, and they will stay in.
>>29635704No, I just find that it's not a creative word, personally, that's all.
>>29635752It isn't to be fair, but these are two people conversing with each other, their personalities will shine through, and Alex is a dickhead. Lacky picked up on it and absorbed it through her dealings with him.
>>29635800That makes a bit more sense.That said, you do write relationships well,
>>29635839Is there anything else that irked ya?
>>29636214No, I thought it was pretty good. Spelling mistakes are easily fixed; bad stories aren't. And the story was very good.In fact, just stay at the ready. When I finish the novel for my client, then I'll prepare an uber HFY thread here. Just be ready till then, I might recruit you for the writing.
>>29636330I'd love to help, though I don't think I'd be a great deal of help.But anything I can do, I will!! email in the email box
>>29636330How long till you think you will be done the novel for your client?
>>29636541Well, the novel follows the Texas Federation when it overthrew the U.S government after some shit went down. Here is the background:You could say that it all started July the 3rd, 2023, though I have no doubt it started far before that. The first date that comes to mind is 2016.Obama was finally out of office, leaving things just a little better and a little worse than when he first came in. The next elections were some fellow named John McHamor leading the Democrats, and, of course, Quinn Travis, then leading the Republicans.Everyone had already been a bit mad at Obama for the next to nothing that he had done, and many quickly changed to Travis, who seemed a lot more 'balanced' than previous candidates.When Travis was first elected, he quickly put into motion multiple policies that were passed through almost instantaneously through Congress, which was three quarters Republican. These bills quickly addressed multiple issues with tax, rebuilding a lot of it from the ground up. It looked like that it was all going to go in a good direction, everyone thought.But, unknown to the general public, the government had been reaching its tentacles ever deeper into the Internet, bribing out service providers in return for access to all the data.Then, one day, around February 2017, people noticed that some sites weren't working. Either they displayed a 404, or they never loaded at all. Not even VPNs could get out.With some trickery, the citizens discovered that contact to several sites had been closed, and more had been permanently shut down. 4chan, Reddit, other sites that still argued against Travis, despite the rather solid front he had put around himself.
>>29636716In another few days, a few techies posted on one of the non-blocked forums some messages they had managed to get. Apparently, they rigged up their own HAM radio, and contacted the outside world. To everyone else, the US was in lockdown. No information was getting out, apart from a few sources of the biased sites that Travis was probably controlling.Within a few minutes, the post was gone, and within a few hours, any contact to the techies was cut off.From there, a new wealth of sites seemed to spring up, filling the gap that the banned sites had left. Though they all didn't seem to appreciate any argument against Travis.2020 rolled around, and Travis seemed to win again. Funnily enough, there didn't seem to be any other candidates.From there, more restrictions were placed. The rebuilt tax system suddenly started asking some people for money, no matter if they were rich or poor, the majority being the latter.The military started to join up with local police forces, with the message that they were there to permanently destroy all crime. And as the police force slowly dissolved, it was replaced with all military. There wasn't any lenience. No matter the act you committed, you were a criminal, and sent to 'rehabilitation centres'. Not too many people seemed to leave these places, and if they did, they managed to get a job with the 'police force' not too soon afterwards.Other laws started to get stricter. More gun enforcement, and several people had their weapons confiscated for being 'illegal', despite the owners' claims to the contrary. The authorities said that some even tried to fight back, and were now in a rehabilitation centre for their crimes.
>>29636735Large businesses started to swallow up mom and pop shops, then moving onto medium sized, until they were the only ones left. If any customers of these shops tried to protest, or keep the shops in business, an EPA inspector came around and seemed to find 'something' wrong with each of these shops, quickly replaced by a McDonalds or Walmart.The roll of censorship was almost complete. Funnily enough, one state did resist through all this. Texas. They held on to their rights as a state, and fought every last bit of legislature that Travis passed. But it was mostly for naught.One shop in Austin had held out for a very long time. An extremely old diner, back from when Texas was established, sat near the centre of town, having never moved place in all its life. There was still some 60s decor left over, and the corkboard walls were filled with news articles on the moon landing, the freedom movement, and the fight for rights.Walmart offered to purchase the property, and it refused. When Walmart insisted, several customers tried to back it up. When the customary EPA inspector came around, it was met by several men, trained and hired by Texas, with all the proper paperwork showing that everything was in order. The EPA inspector left.From there, the IRS came knocking, claiming taxes hadn't been paid. Texas provided all necessary papers showing nothing out of the ordinary.The FBI investigated the claims that there were illegal immigrants working within the shop. Texas proved and verified each worker.A supposedly drunk driver crashed into the building, destroying a lot of it. Walmart moved in to buy, and was blocked by the help of the Texans who paid for and renovated the entire shop. They refused to budge.The federal government, seeing no way around it, finally ordered Texas to stand down, sometime in June, 2023. Texas said no.(Fucking post limits. This thing is 9000 characters long, 3000 words.)
>>29636766Within a day, the owners of the shop had apparently both had been robbed at gunpoint, and then shot by the robber. Within a few hours, McDonalds had moved in and opened up a McCafe.July the 3rd, 2023. That was the start of the revolution. The McCafe was operated completely by dispensing machines, since no one wanted to work there. That meant it was safe for that one man, the true leader of the revolution, to toss the molotov inside.July the 4th, 2023. Throughout Texas, the federal military bases were quickly overthrown, often the soldiers within helping out, shutting off connection to the other bases and outside Texas. Fireworks went off, people rejoiced, and Texas officially declared itself separate from the United States of America, "and if you try to come back in here again, we'll make sure you never walk out."This message was sent across the world, from satellite to HAM radio to drug mules running across the border. Within a week, the other nations that had been willing to ignore the U.S for now finally turned their attention to it and realized they were watching a repeat of history before their eyes.(captcha: among amyicum. Is amy plural for amium?)
>>29636786August, 2023. Texas had managed to block off most points of entry, young men and women jumping at the chance to protect their nation. At this point, the Federal Government realized the trouble that Texas could cause. With it's own power grid, sources of fuel, and close connection to another country, it would be ready to take on the rest of the U.S.But before they could think further, riots started all over. Oklahoma and New Mexico put up fights against the Feds, with the help of the Texan Army. Other states started to rebel.It was the Second Civil War in action.October, 2023. Texas, now the Texan Federation, had welcomed Oklahoma and New Mexico, assisting them in preparing to fight. No power flowed through either state, for they had been cut off. But they didn't care, because they kept going with the help of Texas.The Federal Government, now referred jokingly to as the Union, had kept their control over New England, but were fighting hard for the territories more inland. Even as the Union and the Texan Federation pushed inwards to fight, bandits and gangs became common, fighting over the scraps of land that the other territories didn't.The rehabilitation centres had been freed at this point, just a name covering a work camp. Each of the men inside, if they weren't broken, gladly accepted the help of the Texans, and led the infantry in tearing the Union apart.During this time, the rest of the world focused on keeping the war under control and away from themselves. Foreign aid assisted the Texans greatly, and they pushed on, fueled by their own economy and the help of the other states.
>>296367862024, February. If Travis hadn't been here, maybe there would have been a new election, another bunch of politicians with their heads up their asses. Now, it's the end of the very short war. In total, 7 million deaths, millions of more injuries, and the U.S was crippled. Though it wouldn't be for long.The Texan Federation was by far the winner, and yet it chose to remain within its bounds. The leader of the Federation claimed that they could better focus on improving everything within the Federation first, then possibly admitting other states to join.Cascadia, a collection of Oregon, Washington, and B.C, had already formed, helping each other out. A movement to re-engineer the power grid was in play, adding multiple renewable energy solutions. Cascadia was a major player in this, and with some foreign assistance, it opened several factories, advertising clean energy and starting to lead the world in that area of technology.Unfortunately, too many other states had been left on their own to struggle. California managed to regain power easy, becoming the Republic of California. On the other hand, Mississippi and Florida slowly became barren, as banditry became common and castle law ruled above all.And Travis had disappeared off the face of the earth, no matter the effort the Texan Federation put into finding him. He was simply gone.And it was all over. In the years following, the states would slowly rebuild, but now separate, rather than being united. And it seemed to be better that way.(That's the backstory. The novel is gonna be finished off in a month?)
>>29636839Dude, get that shit finished. I nearly creamed my pants.
>>29636890Thanks, man.Once I finish it, I get my doge, he gets his novel, and we can co-publish it for whatever. Maybe some of you fucks can buy it.
>>29636839So, what's the ending? Liberal superheroes find and exterminate Quinn for great social justice and then live happily ever after in a Jew-controlled world?
>>29636935Im buying this for sure!
>>29636839Intredasting.You could be the next Johnny Ringo.
>>29636990I shall charge ONE MEELION DOLLARS. *pinky*>>29637024I'd rather be the next lovechild of Terry Pratchett and J.K Rowling, but sure.
>>29637100>RowlingGod damnit dude....god damnit.
>>29637126Terry Pratcett is funny as fuck.Rowling is rich as fuck.Good combo, no?
>>29637164I'd be terrified if a had millions of girls shlicking to my work. Especially as a male.
>>29637276UGGHHH YES TEXAS YOU BETTER REBELHNNNNGBut in all seriousness, she's done well for herself. Debatable if her books are good, but enough people think so for her to be pretty happy.Anyway, fancy reading my actual novel? Gonna publish soon, and it's kinda spacey, so you might be interested.
>>29578995Line 197"Nah, got to guard your and your kids from predators...">your and your
>>29637514Also, in 209>Given Alexs' small stature and fleshy extremities, he was just as capable and just as dangerous a fighter as she was.Not sure that's the proper use of "given". Maybe "despite"?
>>29637717this anon is correct. if you want to use given, you need to insert another couple words"Given Alex's small stature and fleshy extremities, it was a surprise that he was just as capable and dangerous a fighter as she was"it's also probably best to remove the second just as. it has the same meaning either way, however it reads better without the second one.