>>29448061
Let's just make a wild assumption and hope there's food instead of an eldritch abomination in the fridge.

>>29448061
This strikes me as a good opportunity to consume more alcohol.

>>29448061
Check the freezer

>>29448061
Consume delicious hooch-tears.

Loot fridge.

>>29448061
You need water.

>>29448472
What is this "Wah-tear" you speak of?

>>29448632
It's the magic de-hangover juice, that's what it is.

>>29448061
Welcome back, Teli.

>>29448645
That's not how you spell coffee or orange juice.

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>>29448308
>>29448436
>>29448464

You check the freezer for food and booze. Inside it are:
Frozen ground beef
Frozen sausage links
Bag of ice
12 ounce glasses
A pack of batteries
Vodka
Rum
Ice tray
and Torpedo Asshole, who weakly requests to go home.

>>29448686
OJ is for Screwdrivers, not hangovers.

>>29448798
jesus Christ
get torpedo asshole out of there
that was way too mean

>>29448798
Get torpedo asshole and the sausages out.

>>29448798
Take out torpedo asshole and the vodka.

Rolled 97

>>29448798
Take out sausage asshole and rum torpedo.

>>29448907
>torpedo your asshole with sausage

>>29448798
Remove Torpedo Asshole, Sausages, and Vodka.

>>29448954
>Asshole Sausage Rum Torpedo Cubes

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>>29448854
>>29448984

You take out the frozen sausages, vodka, and Torpedo Asshole out of the freezer and onto the counter.
The sausages are frozen stiff.
TA is shivering and trembling.
The vodka looks very enticing to you.

>>29449285
cook the sausage

>>29449285
Cook the sausage in the vodka.

>>29449285
Cook the sausages in the vodka along with some black pepper (white, if Garush has it) and onion powder.

"Will it fuck you up if I run you under a hot tap or something?"

>>29449285

Filter the vodka through torpedo asshole first.

>>29449285
Pour vodka into saucepan. Add sausages to vodka. Boil.

>>29449285
try and help TA out first

Considering the sounds coming from Garush's bathroom, it might be a bad idea to eat his food. Ordering delivery would be the best idea, if we had money. Ask Garush or Mimic if we can borrow some.

>>29448837
Also this.

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>>29449338
>>29449426
>>29449452

You decide to filter vodka through TA first. How are you going to do that?

>>29450256
It enters through the front.

>>29450256
No, dumbass, alcohol doesn't ACTUALLY make you warm! It'll actually thin out your blood and make you lose more heat.

Put him in the oven.

>>29450256

well given that he has a neckhole and no stomach you can just pour it through there and then into a bowl via his nose and mouth

given that it is alcohol it will also work as antifreeze, thawing him out

>>29450256
Give him a swig of vodka. Then pour the rest into a pan to make vodka sausages.

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>>29450394

You feed TA a swig of vodka, but he barely thawed. You pour the rest into the pan and plopped in three pried out frozen sausages and left them to cook.

Garush's groans quieted down, but he still remains in the bathroom. There is at least three flush sounds.

>>29450824
Take a swig of vodka.

>>29450824
Set TA on a nearby burner for ambient heat. Turn him whenever you turn the sausages. Cry into the pan for added salt content.

>>29450824
Drink some water.

>>29450824
Christ. Wrap TA in a towel and put him by the space heater or heat vent if there is one. Check on Yorick while things cook.

Warm TA further with a moving rendition of "Candle on the Water."

>>29450824
Start singing something really emo.

>>29450889
Seconding this.

>>29450824
Go see what Yorrick is up to. Bring TA along.

>>29450937
"VOOOOOOOOOOOOODKA IIIIIIIIIIN MY PAAAAAAAAAAN! THE SAAAAAAAAAAAAAUSAGE WIIIIIIIIIIIIILL NOT BUUUUUUUUUUUUURN! MY STOOOOOOMCH'S HUUUUUUUUNGER CAAAAAAAAAALS, DEEEEEEEEEEEMANDING IT'S NEXT MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAL!"

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>>29450970

"... And he was raped right before my eyes! I couldn't do anything but watch him turn into a orc cum crazed whore-"

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>>29450976

>VOOOOOOOOOOOOODKA IIIIIIIIIIN MY PAAAAAAAAAAN! THE SAAAAAAAAAAAAAUSAGE WIIIIIIIIIIIIILL NOT BUUUUUUUUUUUU-

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>- Yorick what are you doing

"Nothing."

>>29451407
bullshit!

>>29451407
Yorick how the fuck'd you manage to use the phone? The fuck?

>>29451407
Want some sausages?

>>29451407
"Who were you talking to?"

Redial, then *69 if that doesn't work.

>>29451513
I think the more pressing issue is how Yorick managed to use the phone.

>>29451539
Tentacle hair. She's a spirit possessing a severed head, I'd imagine she's got some method of control.

And you're questioning this shit when our friend's hairdo is heavy ordnance?

>>29451614
Nono you see, Pompadours are in a totally different player class of hair. It's totally different.

>>29451684
Be that as it may, it's expected for Pompadour to serve as a ballistic-class hairstyle. Twintails, especially thick ones like Yorick's, are expected to be a manipulation-class style, including manipulating small objects like telephone keypads, etc.

>>29451786
Shit. And it makes sense that Neckbeards are the source of evil in the world...
Shit.

>>29451786
She tried to use them to direct the roomba before, and that was just shaking to catch the wheels. I'd guess that the just uses her jaw, tongue, and whatever little bit of her neck remains.

>>29451838
Ponytails: Melee class
Pompadours: Ballistic class
Twintails: Manipulation class
Shag: Charm class
Cornrows: Armor class
Bald: Blinding class

>>29451881
Yeah, but they got caught in the roller. You try doing anything when your arms are in a sling.

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>>29451512

>Want some sausages?

"Nah, I'm good."

>>29452065
"What was that about an orc cum slave or whatever?"

>>29452065
want my sausage?

>>29452065
Offer her your man sausage.

>>29452103
I'm curious about that too. Isn't Garush an orc?

>>29452180
>Yorick confirmed for shipper

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>>29452174

You sport a cheeky grin.

>Want some of MY sausage?

"WHAT"

Rolled 92

>>29452288
"Oh, just heard you on the phone and thought you'd be interested in a non-orcish romp in the shag carpet."

>>29452288
I'm making sausages, want some of them?

>>29452288
It's got vodka and stuff on it.

>>29452288
Fluster her more! Make her blush!

Rolled 7

>>29452390
Supporting.

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>>29452340

>Oh, just heard you on the phone and thought you'd be interested in a non-orcish romp in the shag carpet.

"SHIT"

You can here a faint "White-hair?" from the phone, before Yorick manages to slam one of her pigtails on the end dial.

>>29452692
So... trying to keep up some kind of reputation with Charlotte and her crew, eh? Tell me what you know, horseless headsman.

>>29452728
We probably should make sure our sassages don't burn.

>>29452692
I WAS WONDERING HOW YOU USED THAT

>>29452740
We can take her into the kitchen with us. Put her in a salad bowl or something.

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>>29452742

>I WAS WONDERING HOW YOU USED THAT!

"EEEEEEEEE-"

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>>29452728

>So..
>Trying to keep up some kind of reputation with Charlotte and her crew, eh?

"NO"

>Bullshit!
>Tell me what you know, horseless headsman.

"GO FUCK YOURSELF"

>>29453113
At least tell me why you told all my friends I was now an orcish cumslut! That was totally uncalled for!

>>29453113
Lean in close.

"All right, now you fucking listen to me and you listen good: Achieving Zen has really, really changed my perspective on a lot of things, and one of them is that I'm not going to be afraid any more. I've been beaten up, robbed, degraded, and basically been butt-monkey to almost everyone and everything on this damned board, and you know what? I'm not going to take it any more. Now, you're going to tell me what you know or finding a new body is going to be the least of your problems."

"Anons! Dats no ways ta treats a ladys!"

>>29453153
Rolling for this.

>>29453113
What were you saying about me? And why is Garush moaning in the bathroom?

>>29453113
Hold her close and whisper in her ear.

Whisper "I'm going to get drunk again."

>>29453197
>hold her close and whisper u r a faget

>>29453153
dis pls

>>29453153
and this never happens because it and all votes for it are odds

>>29453153
Vote.

>>29453197
I like the more rapey solution.

>>29453188

>What were you saying about me?

"FUCKING NOTHING CALM DOWN"

>And why is Garush moaning in the bathroom?

"Explosive diarrhea. He ate bad meatbread this morning."
"NOW PUT ME DOWN OR I'LL RIP THE FLESH OF YOUR FACE OFF-"

>>29453367
>>29453153

This, and hopefully get fucking evens.

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>>29453367

fucking capcha

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>>29453318
>>29453380

>All right, now you fucking listen to me and you listen good: Achieving Zen has really, really changed my perspective on a lot of things, and one of them is that I'm not going to be afraid any more. I've been beaten up, robbed, degraded, and basically been butt-monkey to almost everyone and everything on this damned board, and you know what? I'm not going to take it any more. Now, you're going to tell me what you know or finding a new body is going to be the least of your problems.

>Anons! Thats ams no ways of treatings ladys!

>>29453430
Anon: "You didn't hear what she called you."

Garush: "Its doesn'ts matters. You shouldn'ts threatens girls. It's nots manly. You gots ta treats 'em tenderlys."

>>29453430
Give her a lick.

"That's okay. She's only part lady anyway."

Small cutscene?

>>29453580
Anon: Whisper into her ear and say "And if you keep this shit up, I'll sodomize your throat and cum out your nose"

>>29453666
Can it be this but more graphic?

>>29453666
Nah, we need something less rapey but just as threatening.

"And if you keep this up, I'll have to show you how to reach zen too" perhaps.

>>29453666
M-maybe a bit too evil, 666

>>29453666
SATAN DEMANDS IT!

>>29453676
666 Anon here, this pls. I was just throwing shit out there.

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>>29453580

>That's okay. She's only part lady anyway.

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>>29453666

You retract your tongue before Yorick bites onto it, whispering to her:
>And if you keep this shit up, I'll sodomize your throat and cum out your nose

She whispers back, "Go on, plant your tongue on me again- I'll bite it off."

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>>29453892
"You's actings just likes da monsta."

The... fuck?

>>29453910
"Big talk. Here!"

Throw her to Garush and go check on your sausages.

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>>29453910
>"https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hjlFGQAbh9M"

>>29453951
Oh no our sausages

>>29453951
Check those sausages before you burn down another building.

>>29453937
>Garush! She wants you to go gay for me.

>>29453985
>"I wholeheartedly refuse"

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>>29453974
>>29453984

>Big talk.
>Here!

You throw her to Garush, whom catches her immediately. You didn't glance back when you head into his kitchen.

The sausages are fully cooked.

>>29454153
>Offer vodka sausages to Garush
>Consume the rest

>>29454153
Wonder why we got so angry at her.

Oh, right.

She's a bitch.

Plate sausages.

My power goes out for one day, and suddenly anon remembers he achieved zen and is now threatening to rape Yorick?

Damn man.

>>29454304
With the absence of Neckbeard, /tg/ has to vent its more aggressive side some other way.

I feel like the character of Anon has a lot of flexibility, though. He's got multiple personalities to fall back on now.

>>29454355
He's not schizo, he's just accepted his failings and negatives as well as his positives and embraced them.

I'd have put "successes" in there too, but c'mon. He's Anon.

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>>29454174

You had plated the vodka sausages.

>>29454438
Consume.

>>29454438
Sorry, looked like they were still in the pan to me.

That being the case, breakfast is served.

>>29454355
True enough. I tend to prefer him as the crybaby bitch and leave Beardy as the outlet for our collective insanity, but at this point his character is pretty up in the air. I'm also pretty sure we didn't remember achieving zen due to the massive hangover that ensues after all your precious bodily fluids turn to alcohol, but it doesn't really matter at this point I guess.

>>29454153
Procure the now cooked sausages and vodka. Deep in our heart, guided by our crippling alcoholism, we know what we must do.

>>29454438
Who could those legs belong to?

>>29454509
I'd just say that he was relieving some built up stress. Together, him and Garush are the sane guys.

It's time to reunite with Garush. We've been kind of a dick recently. Have we even thanked him for saving us?

>>29454730
Seconding this.
>>29454599
And I agree with this.

We should thank Garush and apologize for being a Grognard. The alcohol will soothe us and bring us closer to zen.

>>29454754
Share the acoholism.

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>>29454472

You began to dig into your breakfast.

Wait.

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You just told Yorick you were a Zen.

YOU DON'T REMEMBER BECOMING A ZEN.

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>>29454730
>>29454754

You remember that you also acted like a dick today.
So you offer Garush some of your breakfast, thanking and apologizing to hi-

>>29455343
Man, what is it today with orifices and terrible things coming out of them.

>>29455343
Anon just got food poisoning, didn't he? I warned you.

>>29455343
>Try to avoid passing out in your own vomit
>Fail

>>29455400
Forgot to add.
We should probably run to the garbage can and once we've finished throwing up 200 proof puke, clean up our mess.

>>29455343
Vomit more! Unlock new skill!

>>29455442
>Unlock new skill!
Water Gun?

I think it's high time we actually did something instead of putzing around in the apartment. Let's get this story going, guys.

What is our next objective. Neckbeard is still out there, there is a rogue unicorn who might or might not know we are alive, and a common enemy.

I'm not saying we shouldn't find someway to team up...

But we should totally find some way to team up.

>>29455530
Charlotte would be a last resort. There's obviously a history between her and anon, and anon was totally willing to lead Beardy to her. Asides, we ripped of Yorick's head, beat the shit out of Blinky and Anry, and Mimic would also be hard pressed to work with them.

We do have an extremely dangerous common enemy, but still man. I don't know if it'll be that easy.

>>29455530
Well, what's even our objective here? I mean, we're safe and Beardy doesn't know where we are. Let's just lay low till-

BAM!

Charlotte: Alright, faggots, stop ramming each other in the ass and tell me why the fuck some naked two-mouthed freak just tried to kill me!

Charlotte and company attack!

>>29455602
I don't care how you do it, it would be a better story to unite wary people against a powerful enemy.

Even when they inevitably lose.

We need to do something, though. This feels a lot like stalling. Any propositions?

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>>29455436

You rush toward the garbage. Unfortunately, you slip on your beer-puke and fall to the floor. Beer floods the kitchen floor.

>>29455442

You continue to vomit. You haven't unlocked anything yet, but this vomit is strangely tasty.

>>29455625
I like it.

>>29455679
Well, someone like Garush should clean up the vomit with a mop and bucket.

And after that we should all head out to gather info.

>>29455679
Pass out to the sound of Yorrick laughing at you.

>>29455663
I think it would be fun to have them develop their own plans to deal with Beardy separately. Beardy is the point of convergence, and the two groups meet up as their plans are set in motion. I think it makes things more interesting and tosses more stuff up in the air. Their plans could conflict and they'll have to compromise, work together, or find a way to deal with the other group as well as Beardy.

That said, I'd say we should figure out who we know that could be useful for killing Beardy. Build a team. Garush seems like the kinda guy who'd know at least one /k/ommando, but that should probably come later. Anon might know some wizards, but you know how they are...

>>29455625
This.

>>29455803
I also like it.

Whatever. Maybe we go to other threads outside of /tg/ for help?

>>29455625
Thirding this

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>>29455840
/k/ is the only board that really leaps to mind. But we're close buddies with /k/. There are no doubt many /k/ommando taverns in /tg/, brimming with gentlemen like pic related. However, /k/ommandos should be a last resort.

Right now, I just think we should keep on the down low, not running around looking for people to help us kill the bearded menace. Call up our friends with fighting ability or unique talents, gear up, and think of a way to kill Beardy.

>>29455840
Ask /x/ for help, because they deal with Paranormal all the time.

And maybe /m/, to get powerups via technology.

>>29455948
>>29456043
I would think Anon would know someone in /e/. And /d/ is a friend to /tg/.

Anyway, what are we going to do immediately? We can't have Charlotte bust in now, can we?

>>29456067
Let's see what she's up to.

CHANGE PLACEs

>>29456067
Anon is busy puking.
We should ask Mimic if he has any associates that could help us.
Also, have Garush reflect on anybody he knows that could help us.
Anon can... keep puking, I guess.

Polite bump.

>>29455679
I suggest we go back to neckbeard

>>29458979
Think he's done with his latest catch yet?

>>29459079
Yes, he is a tg neckbeard

>>29456067
>/d/
>helping
i don't know why you would think getting raped in various ways most of which previously thought impossible is help

Polite bump.

>>29459671
One word anon
Bondage

After the vomit stops, if we still have an appetite, ask Garush what happened over breakfast. If not, ask him while holding a bucket. Do we remember telling him to flee from that battle with the neckbeard?

Bamp.

Rolled 11

>>29462795
Awaiting our dark Master.

Rolled 20

>>29464194
Reviving from Page 9.

Rolled 12

>>29466244
Final bump.

>>29468493
This has been archived. It doesn't matter if it falls off the board any more.

Rolled 1

>>29468542
My bad, then.

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>>29455720
>>29455738

Garush sighs, and went to fetch a mop and bucket to clean up the mess.
Yorick continues to laugh at the situation.

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>>29456130

>Charlotte
>Neckbeard

>>29469626
>character select
The receptionist at the thread in which the neckbeard started peeing everywhere

>>29469626
Neckbeard!

>>29469626
neckbeard!

>>29469626
Neckbeard, no doubt.

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Rolled 1

>>29469656
>>29469892

Conflicting answers, the dice will decide!

1 is OP of the thread in which Neckbeard started peeing everywhere
2 is Neckbeard himself, still deciding on loot

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You are the receptionist. There is a detective here investigating last night's murder and assault, and it looks like he's asking the assault victim questions.

However, you don't really give two shits and you are considering killing yourself sometime this week.

>>29470616
Start drinking heavily

>>29470616
Tell the detective it was some mecha yankee ogre thing.

>>29470616
take the detective's hat without asking

>>29470616
Decide the best method would be hurling ourselves off the top of the post.

>>29470616
Become an hero. Not an hero we deserve, but an hero that we need.

>>29470616
This fellow sounds like a guy who is just out of fucks to give. This could be a lot of fun, actually.

make sure to sell your sould to the devil for unimaginable power before you become an hero

>>29470658
Once we have imbibed alcohol, toss the bottle behind us and walk purposefully out the door.

>>29470896
Or we could use the stored alcohol to breath fire.

>>29471080
This is true.
We don't really care about anything, right? Why not?
Just sit at our desk, practice fire breathing.

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>>29470658

You do not possess any alcohol at the moment.

>>29470692

He's on his way to your desk, the perfect opportunity.
He also tried asking you something about questions but you don't really pay attention.

>>29470724

You consider doing this tonight.

>>29471224
Tell him we're going to go make a new post, about blackjack, and hookers.
Then storm out.

>>29471224
Steal his hat, duck under the desk and assume fetal position.

>>29471224
Ask him if he has any hard liquor. Any good detective worth his salt should have hard liquor on his person.

We're going to try fire breathing.

Ugh, I really need to get out of this god awful site... I wonder what 420chan is like this time of year.

>>29471317
meant to put that in quotes

>>29471224
>take hat and say you will trade it for hard liquor

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>>29448061
>Where do you look first?

UNDER the fridge.

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>>29471658

Rolled 8

>>29471224
"What do you want, dick? I mean, detective. Dicktective."

>>29472137
I think I'll start calling my urologist a dicktective.

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>>29471276
>>29471624

You swipe his hat as soon as he came close, and immediately ducked under your desk into a fetal position.
All the while you demanded hard liquor in return.

>>29472442
What is with anons and being boozehounds?

I'm sensing some incoming police brutality.

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The detective took his canister and wiggled it in front of you.

"I just wanted some information, lady. Not to play games."

>>29472442
from henceforth communicate to him by using your hands as puppets. make them argue with each other as well as discussing things with him

>>29472486
I just wanted some alchohol

>>29472486
Swipe the canister.

>>29472486
"Look, this is currently the most entertaining thing in my life right now. Are you seriously gonna deny me that?"

>>29472528
Seconded.

"Give me booze. Cave dweller demands tribute."

Detective: Receive distress call about disturbance at weird charm shop.

>>29472486
He was here. Him and his gloriously horrid hair...

>>29472486
"And I want some booze, pal.
Listen, I don't really care if you shoot me. I'll give you your hat back if you lend me your hip flask and a light. And yeah, I know you have both. I'll won't even drink it all, promise."

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>>29472528

You swiped his canister.
The detective sighs and slouches onto your desk.

"Are you really this bored?"

>>29472823
Yes? Enough bad stuff has happened in this thread for a century.

>>29472823
Yes...wanna build a pillow fort?

>>29472823
point to a floorboard
"no I am that board"

>>29472823
Yeah.
Working in a place like this man, you see it all. I've seen people murdered in their posts, the darkest horrors of /d/, things I can't even describe. It is boredom punctuated with horror, and I am out of fucks.

Give me a light, would ya?

>>29472872
Yes.

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Rolled 1

Let's have the dice decide on there.

>>29472866
1
>>29472872
2
>>29472904
3

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>>29472866

>Yes? Enough bad stuff has happened in this thread for a century.

"Then would you mine talking about some of that 'bad stuff' with me? Like last night, do you remember who or what you let up to the 4th floor where the victim had reside?"

>>29473155
Could I get a light first? I'll tell you everything you want to know, buddy.

>>29473155
He PEED ON ME.

>>29473155
It was horrible. He smelled like smoke, meatbread, and anal lube.

>>29473217
And everywhere else, for that matter

>>29473155
no
he might come after me next
just leave me alone
LEAVE ME ALONEEE

>>29473155
Run out of the building screaming.

>>29473155
He...it...was like an animal. Furry, but not from /d/. He had a sort of mane.

And he was pissing absolutely fucking everywhere, like he was marking his scent.

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>>29473250

>No.
>He might come after me next.
>Just leave me alone.

"He won't come after you if /we catch him/, Anonymous. Just tell me what you know. And hand my hat back."

>Fine..
>He...it...was like an animal. Furry, but not from /d/. He had a sort of mane.
>And he was pissing absolutely fucking everywhere, like he was marking his scent.

"Uh huh.. Did he threaten or coerce you to tell him the victim's floor?"

>>29473501
Yes, there was definitely a lot of threatening

>>29473501
>"Uh huh.. Did he threaten or coerce you to tell him the victim's floor?"
"I AM NOT TELLING YOU THAT"
And then run out of the thread naked.

>>29473501
Yes... if by "Coerce," you mean scared me bad enough I had to change my panties.

>>29473501
Nope, he asked and I told him. I didn't want him to piss on me.

>>29473708
This.
Also
"Officer, you wouldn't mind givin' me a light would ya?"

C'mon guys, we need to breathe fire in front of an officer of the law AT LEAST once, right?

>>29473708
And stand up. You're a goddamn adult. But keep the booze.

>>29473599
So just thinking out loud here, what's the consensus on how to play this guy?

I see some posts playing him as a guy who's crazy and does crazy things, others as paranoid/scared/disturbed, and others that try to play him as a guy who is crazy and out of fucks. Should we pick one, or just keep going like this and see which one catches on?

>>29474003
Teli said it was a "she" I think?

>>29474055

Here. >>29472486

>>29474055
I actually assumed that was an insult, since you just stole his hat and hid under the desk.

I could always be wrong though.

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>>29473708

>Nope, he asked and I told him. I didn't want him to piss on me.

You raise yourself a little higher.

>>29473758

>You wouldn't mind givin' me a light would ya?

"Only if you give back my hat and stand up like an adult."

>>29474368
>"Only if you give back my hat and stand up like an adult."

"Sure, whatever you say."
Stand up, return hat>
"Anything else, officer?"

>>29474368
"I will do one of those things..."

>>29474368
The guy had a mouth coming out of his chest and wanted some info. So are we done here?

Also >>29474411

>>29474368
Comply with the officers request

>>29474368
>"Only if you give back my hat and stand up like an adult."
NO NEVER

Prefer
>>29474427
in favor of
>>29474426

I'm all for random zanyness, as long as we keep characters in character. I feel like this anon would be more likely to just deal with this guy.

>>29474546
Yeah.
We should keep the chaotic randumb stuff to neckbeard.
What makes this quest awesome is the spontaneity of it, both on the part of the QM and the participants. But without consistent characters, it all falls apart.

>>29474602
Neckbeard:
BBEG
Hungry
Horny

Anon:
a bitch
alcoholic
smart-ish

Yankee:
Sounds like Swisgarr
protective of Anon
total bro

>>29474698
>Yankee

His name's Garush.

>>29474698
Not the same guy who wrote quoted post, writing my take on other characters.

Yorick:
If anon's a bitch, then Yorick is a BITCH.
Has friends, so must have some kinda soft side.
likes boys.
Garush may be growing on her

Charlotte:
Tough, not easy to scare.
Not one for nonsense.
Has some leadership ability, as she seems to be in charge of the gang.

Mimic:
He seems helpful.
Friendly, I kinda imagine him like the swiss.

The receptionist:
He's up in the air right now. Personally I want to play him as the guy who has run out of fucks, but we'll just have to see what happens.

>>29474368
Start walking up to the top of the post.

>>29474991
Receptionist:
Former /k/omando who moved to /tg/ after a traumatic experience that robbed him of his balls.

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>>29474426

You stood up, and kept the hat on your head.

>I will do one of those things...

"God dammit."
"I'm not here to play around, just.. Answer some questions, okay?"

"So, you gave him the floor number to the suspect because you didn't want him to.. Pee on you?"

>>29475159
That could be a lot of fun.

I'd like him get netted along with Garush or Charlotte and just see what happens. He could act as a sniper. I can see it now. He's on the roof of a thread with a sun umbrella, lawn chair, radio, and a cooler.
>Hey, you see any hostiles?
>*gulp gulp*- Ahhh, uh, no.
>Goo- What are you drinking?
>Beer.
>What?!
>It's a muscle relaxant. Anyway, I'm probably a better shot when I'm drunk.

He's seen so many things as a receptionist for that thread. He even lost his damn balls. He just doesn't care anymore.

>>29475495
that is correct
I figured it would be an unpleasant experience

>>29475495
Yes, exactly. Do you know how hard it is to get the smell of piss out of clothes?

>>29475495
Well yeah. I didn't think he was gonna murder her.
Here's your hat, buddy. Now could I please get that light.

>>29475495
"Yes, damn it. Besides, he looked like the unholy rape-child of /x/ and /d/."

>>29475495
>That and he had an exoskeleton and a giant mouth in his stomach

>>29475495
And get to the top of that post. You've got a job to do.

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Rolled 3

>>29475524
>>29475558
>>29475594

You decide to let the dice choose your words.

>>29475765
"The thing was horror incarnate, and I was scared. It hasn't been easy for me, and that just... it looked like /x/ fucked /d/."

Return hat and canister.

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>>29475594

>That and he had an exoskeleton and a giant mouth in his stomach

"I see. I assume you didn't knew he was going to murder Ruby?"

There's another detective at the door, telling him that there's a distress call about a disturbance at a Charm Dealer's house. The hatless detective tells the detective at the door to wait a minute, he's almost done here, then turns back to you.

"Well, OP?"

>>29475955
Had no idea, man. For all I know he was just gonna piss on her and leave.

>>29475955
>"I see. I assume you didn't knew he was going to murder Ruby?"
No.
How would have I known?

>>29475955
>"Well, OP?"
Did he just call us a fag?

>>29475955
"I had no idea. Honestly, the way he was talking to the group in the lobby, he was looking for a cheap lay. You know how elves are."

>>29475955
Of course not. Now get out, I've got some business I need to take care of on the roof.

>get your affairs in order

>>29475955
He was... eccentric, aint no doubt abut that. But I didn't figure he was gonna murder her. He looked like the bastard of some eldritch horror, sure, but we get a fair amount of /d/enizens here in /tg/,

Before ya leave officer, could I please have that light?

>>29475955
"Of course not. I mean, he surely was weird, but I didn't thought he would kill her. Stranger things have been seen around here, and those weren't murderers."

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>>29476044

>I had no idea. Honestly, the way he was talking to the group in the lobby, he was looking for a cheap lay. You know how elves are.

"I see. Thank you."
The detective swipes back his hat.

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"I'll be on my way now, do not hesitate to call us if you see the suspect."

>>29477590
"Hey... listen, do you need somebody else on the force? If I have to work in this damned thread one more day, I'm going to snap and jump off the roof. Er, but I can pass a psych evaluation. Swear to it."

>>29477648
Begin sweating at the thought of seeing him again.

>>29477648
We still have his flask thing.

Drink liquor. Find a lighter.

>>29477694
>Be the Detective

"This board is rotten to the core. They put on the act of being law-abiding posters, but really they'll put tits up behind spoilers at the least provocation, and this piss-fetish monster is just the latest in a long line of deviant scum infesting my fair board. I can't let this go unpunished. I am Detective Moe of the M.O.D., and this is my story."

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>>29477714

You downed the liqour and pulled out the lighter YOU HAD IN YOUR POCKET THE WHOLE TIME.

>>29478369
Do the thing.

>>29478369
Set it on fire, Marvin. Set the building on fire.

Really, it's the only way you're going to get the smell out.

>>29478124
I like character ideas like this, or ideas like the give-no-fucks receptionist. The problem with having characters with more distinct and fleshed out personalities, is that a collective would have trouble playing them.

>>29478369
>YOU HAD IN YOUR POCKET THE WHOLE TIME.

Well, I feel retarded now.
I'm sorry.

>>29478475
That's how we ended up with Beardy.

>>29478533
We've done a pretty good job self moderating with other characters like Garush. Earlier in this thread though, the character we had kinda established for anon was shoved aside for something much more like Beardy.

>>29478687
I blame that on an IC nervous breakdown, and really, Beardy started out as an Anon too.

>>29478687
>the character we had kinda established for anon was shoved aside for something much more like Beardy
Have you ever had a campaign pick back up after a few months of not playing? Trying to get back into character can be rough.

>>29478763
To be fair, it was only a couple weeks.

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>>29478426

>>29478733
Yeah, that's what I'm rolling with right now.

>>29478763
I figured that was probably a part of it.

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>>29478426

You did the thing.

>>29478908
Be Charlotte?

>>29478908
Go to your bunker on the old /x/ side of /tg/. Time to gear up to go beard hunting.

>>29478885
Maybe it's time we kind of... set the characters in stone? Establish characteristics, etc.

>>29478774
Yeah, but we're talking about multiple people.

>>29479025
I'd say we have Garush, Anon, Yorick, and Beardy pretty well fleshed out.

Charlotte is pretty clearly of very strong will, but we don't know much more about here. Mimic seems pretty friendly, but we don't know much more about him.

>>29479133
Mimic, to me, is like recruiting monsters in Dragon Quest: Just there to flesh out the party till you get all the main characters.

>>29479159
Fair enough. That works.

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>>29478958

You are now Charlotte.

You are at home. You have just received a distressing call from White-Hair, that contributes to your list of problems.

>>29479334
Well.
Anon is still alive, though I'm not sure how much we care.
We should probably go rescue white hair.

>>29479334
I am also seconding a rescue mission. White-Hair is a valuable member of our crew and it's probably not-

Why do we appear to be in our night-gown in front of blinky? What tawdry shit is this!?

>>29479334
Recall exactly what she was telling you before she hung up.

>>29479334
Well? Describe what she said in full!

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>>29479486

You'll have to figure out a good plan on rescuing he-

It's a tank top. You are in some casual clothing.

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>>29479790

Basically, White has told of the Pompadorc student turning into some powerful, magical yankee, defeated her and dragged her over to his home along with Anon. She claims that she tried to save him but no avail.
So Pompadorc rendered her unmobile and commenced netorare on her with Anon, giving you unnecessary detailing on how it went and how he forced Anon into some new, frillier clothing and a collar. White was threatened with "Join me or die", where as if she didn't submit to him he will grind up her bones and tenderize her flesh, stick her in a stew and force-feed her to Anon mixed in with his own body fluids.

So, bullshit fanfic story or not, you should probably go find her just in case.

>>29480019
Here is the plan: first, call gang. Assault Pompadork place and free White-hair. Kick Anon in nuts. Then, get some twinkies and watch a good movie.

>>29480155
Blinky and Anry at the ready? Gear up and move out.

This calls for the big guns. Equip... the sparkling mahou shoujo wand.

>>29480155
"Wait, Anon is with the Orc and not murdered by the monster?"