You used to be a Villain. You had it all, Money, power, respect. You used to rule, well, everything, the world bowed to your every word and movement. You could kill a world leader and no one would stop you, YOU COULD BURN DOWN ORPHANAGES AND THEY WOULD FAWN OVER YOU LIKE YOU WERE A GOD, EVEN THE BARRIER BETWEEN LIFE AND DEATH BENT TO YOUR WILL. And then, they came, Heroes, brave souls who refused to stand aside as you did with the world as you pleased. They took everything from you. Your money, your magic, your respect, Even the harlot you called your better half.Currently you are staring down a bottle filled with cheap liquor, covered in your own bodily fluids in your tatter finery outside of the bar that has just thrown you out. You look at a passerby and they laugh at you as they kick dirt into your empty eyes. What do you do>[X] They dare treat I, <insert name here> Like that (if no name is chosen Bethany will be used)>[X] throw your bottle at them (roll 20-5)>[X] Continue drinking>[X] other
Rolled 16 + 5>>29402841>>[X] throw your bottle at them (roll 20-5)
Rolled 6 - 5>>29402841>throw your bottle at them
>>[X] Continue drinking, light cigarette
Rolled 17 + 5>>29402999Nah, nat 1 is when a 1 is specifically rolled. It's still a bad result, just not an epicly bad.
I suggest that our villain is named Wilhelm Valentine
>>29403109Only if he forced his old lady love to take the name Faye.>>29402841>[X] Continue drinking
>>29402841Hold onto bottle and apply it directly to their forehead.
Rolled 16 + 5>>29402841We are wilhem Valentine! And we will not be mocked!>throw the bloody bottle at them!
Rolled 17 + 5>>29402841Wilhelm Valentino requests you to go fuck yourself, Sir!>chucks bottle at head
>>29403275why do that?Acknowledging the faceless masses personally, even in violence is beneath us.They'll feel our heel once again.
>>29403054got it>>29402930You stare at the insolent cur and throw your near empty bottle at him. It flies through the air and misses him by a mile, shattering on the asphalt of the road. The man looks at you and laughs."How could anyone ever take you seriously" He taunts as he walks up to you. You stare up at him, mouth slightly agape as you try to get the both of him to stand still. He takes a deep, gurgling breath. He's going to spit on you, as so many other have since that horrible day. You look past the disrespectful peasant at a Advertisement. A spandex wearing buffoon appears, drinking down a unhealthy piss flavored energy drink, before flying off and......you feel your hands shake with rage as a caricature of yourself appears and is bested by that idiot, to be put in a stock and mocked by children. You would do horrible things to him, his loved ones, and everyone who dared worship him as a "hero". You'll YOU'll. You are drawn away from your plans of revenge when a glob of spit splatters across your cheek. You hear laughing, they're laughing at you. They dare laugh at their better.What do you do>[x] Stop the laughing (roll 1d20)>[x] Curse the world for doing this to you, <insert name here> (free action)>[x] Stumble back home or to the nearest bar (roll 1d20)>[x] Destroy the television broadcasting that Dammed advertisement (roll1d20-3)>[x] other
>>29403332Is it within out capacity to kill swiftly? if so:>[x] other: Destroy him
>>29403332>[x] Curse the world for doing this to you, <NecBromancer>A cross between a death cultist and a frat boy.
Rolled 17>>29403332Today was our last night of sitting back and writhing in the street as a has been, we will be again!other: return to our dilapidated lair and begin >THE RITUAL!
>>29403332>[x] Destroy the television broadcasting that Dammed advertisement (roll1d20-3)
>>29403412Gonna need a roll for that
>>29403412Okay, can someone tell me what I did wrong?
Rolled 4>>29403332>[x] Destroy the television broadcasting that Dammed advertisement (roll1d20-3)
>>29403390Would they have keggers with the walking dead?
Rolled 2 + 3>>29403426Let me try again.
>>29403440Put dice+1d20 up in the email field to roll dice, man.
All in favor of our villian being named Baron Von Neckbeard?
wait, someone directly spat on us and none of you want to try to fight that guy?Is this a fetish game or are you people just THAT non-confrontational?
>>29403510I am as surprised as you are
>>29402841the better question is what happened to dick dastardly the 3rd?is this him and things went to shit?
Rolled 9>>29403332>[x] Stop the laughing (roll 1d20)Smite the drunken bastard
>>29403527yeahleyes headbutt his ugly Mr
>>29403451Of course, when he's not spending time with his "partner", Fearleader (imagine a cheerleader with Batman style gadgets)
>>29403562I really ought to check how my phone auto corrects before hitting the reply buttonlet's headbutt his ugly mutt
>>29403532Dick dastardly the third is a famous cartoon character who managed to out live his former nemesis and has become one of the most well know characters in the world. Merchandise, video game and movie adaptions, spin offs, horrible fan made porn. However no one knows that he is actually currently fucking up the multiverse with his familu, or that he is even real, at least on this plane of existence
>>29403584Also it seems split between breaking the tv and breaking his face>1: for smashing the tv>2 doe smashing his facefeel free to roll 1d20 again
Rolled 19>>29403619>for smashing his face
Rolled 9>smash his face
Rolled 17>>29403619hammer smashed face
>>29403619WAIT WAIT WAITWHY DONT WE SMASH THE TVWITH HIS FACE
>>29403723I LIKE THIS GUY'S THINKING
Rolled 8>>29403723Oh fine, THE RITUAL can wait, let us deal with this petty fool AND the TV.
>>29403723YOU MESS WITH THE BULL, YOU GET THE HORNS!
Rolled 8>>29403619Roll for smashing TV with his dumb ugly poor face.
Rolled 12>>29403947YOU CAN'T MILK THOSE!
Rolled 13>>29403619Break his face with the TV. Kick dirt on him, spit on him, then Laugh. Show them a glimpse of the past come again.
>>29403642You stare up at the young man, his laughing filling your ears along with everyone else who has taunted you through out your life. You twitch as something snaps inside you and you stand up, shaking in barely suppressed rage"Stop laughing" You command to the world. it disobeys and grows louder and louder"I said STOP LAUGHING" You scream in rage as you drunkenly swing at your tormenter. somehow you manage not to miss and knock him flat on his ass. the laughing does not stop, so neither do you. "STOP LAUGHING AT ME" You scream in impotent rage as you pound drag him to the tv with the laughing cartoon children who are guzzling down energy drinks while laughing at you "YOU HAVE NO RIGHT TO LAUGH AT ME, I AM BETTER THAN YOU, I AM BETTER THAN YOU, STOP LAUGHING, STOP LAUGHING AT ME YOU CUNTS". You slam his head into the screen, shattering it and sending electricity coursing through your tormenter. You continue to slam his head into the broken screen, again, and again. A crowd gathers around you and mutters to themselves, but you pay them no heed, until one of them pulls you away from the possibly dead man."LET GO OF ME YOU PEASANTS" You shout "YOU HAVE NO RIGHT TO TOUCH ME, UNHAND ME YOU MONKEYS, THIS INSTANT"Your victim stares into the night sky with empty eyes, his expression one of pain and horror, he twitches every now and again. The crowd is mutteringAnd one of them is going for a button that calls down the spandex squaded to put you back in the hospital or prison, depending on how hard they beat you. Fuck."He isn't breathing""He's going to get what he deserve""Animals like you should be ut down""Monster""He was my mate""Drunk asshole""Has Anyone seen a mountain of man with a really thick accent around here""Why are you even still alive""They spare you and this is how you repay them?"What do you do>[x] run (roll 1d20, recommended) >[x] laugh>[x] Fight whoever they call for (Bad idea)>[x] double ta>[x] other
>>29404063well now lets not get carried away, two birds with one stone is very efficient. Petty insults won't drive our point home harder than if we just turned around, threw a bill on the table and left at a reasonable pace.
Rolled 19>>29404071Laugh, laugh at the idiots. that's what they get when they disrespect you, they might not fear us now, but one day they will understand the monster they have bread on mockery and humiliation.Also we should probably run.
>>29404071>the spandex squadi don't know what that is but it sounds tasteless and annoying. We need to move. Do we have a grappling hook? or some previously calculated route of escape?
>>29404071Snag douche's wallet, buy more booze at a liquor store away from here, and drink at home till we pass out in our own vomit.
Rolled 13>>29404152bred* fuck me with a rake. forgive my horrible spelling and grammar
>>29404169Not exactly
>Everything you were, everything you had was taken away.>Fate worse than Death>"They spare you and this is how you repay them?">mfw
>>29404152>>29404170I'd like to combine these two, please!
Rolled 2>>29404071 Inform them that you will return to power and avenge yourself in a maniacal and deeply satisfying fashion ,that they are sub-human filth, and have only made their lots in life harder than they would be had they left you be.Then whoosh your tattered up cape. Then haul ass.
>>29404177fuck.>[X]leg it
>>29404071time to get out of there
Rolled 20>>29404223FUCK, A 2? Reroll, if this is low I will commit sudoku.
>>29404249Well everything went better than expected
>>29404249Success! Sweet, threatening, vengeancy, theatrical success.
>>29404071leave for now>they'll see...>THEYLL ALL SEE
>>29404249I'm all for it. let's ditch these peasants
>>29404152You stare at the fool who dared to spit on and mock you. You need money, he has money you could just take it and (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nPxf58jUZYQ) You feel a chill go down your spine as that thrice dammed song begins play, if you can even call it a song.No...nononononononono, Not her, anyone but her, that brat is insufferable. You break free from the monkeys grasps and begin sprinting drunkenly, running into several people. They'll get what's coming to them later. The nonmusic follows you as balls of green plasma disintegrate large portions of the road and buildings around you."Stand still you washed up old rat" A muffled voice calls out to you "It's only going to hurt for a few seconds a swear""FUCK OFF" You shout behind you as you force your legs to run as fast as they can as another boom rings through your ears.You duck behind a car and get thrown on your ass as it is reduced to slag in seconds. You get back up somehow and keep running"Keep on running rat" She laughs as she tosses more plasma at you, but misses do to your drunken serpentine. You hear screaming and curses. You don't know when Cemi Cal stopped chasing you, but when you don't stopp running till you are at what remains of your homeA crater with a few stone walls in it. Inside is your humble abode, made of stolen mattresses, boxes, and cheap blankets. Inside are the few possessions that Plasma chucking cunt didn't turn to goopNamely a few books, your liquor cabinet, and your Chair, which is made of mahogany and baby seal peltsWhat do you do>[x] read a book>[x] drink>[X] Sit down>[x] look at your portrait that somehow survived (free action, basically char gen)>[x] other
>>29404526also if you wish I can give a description of Cemi cal
>>29404526>[x] read a book>[x] drink>[X] Sit downYes. All of these, at once.
>>29404548Sure, lay it on us
>>29404526>Look at portrait
>>29404526>[x] look at your portrait that somehow survived (free action, basically char gen)Lets get started
>>29404526>>[x] look at your portrait that somehow survived (free action, basically char gen)can we look like that guy from There Will Be Blood/Gangs of New York?
>>29404526>[x] look at your portrait that somehow survived (free action, basically char gen)>[X] Sit down
Rolled 14>>29404626Forgot roll
Rolled 6>>29404683Fuck. I am retarded please rape my face.
>>29404629"Cemi cal, that's the cunts name. She as far as I can tell used to be the disobedient daughter of one of my minions, who died due to fucking around with the plasma tanks. She was not pleased with losing the thing buying her tight leather pants, jackets, and internet, SO she had the balls to steal a very important thing of mine. Now she's 5'8 of murderous rage, plasma, and bitchiness. She died her long hair green and wears a cat eared hoodie reinforced with enchanted metal Stolen from yours truly and Gasmask, both are black and green. Her eyes are emerald and I want to gouge them out with a rusty spoon"
>>29404526Sure we might have beaten a man within an inch of his life, but that crazy bitch cemi just decimated an entire street JUST TO TAUNT US while she chased us! oh the inhumanity of it.We must sit down and evaluate our plans, THE RITUAL most likely requires a few more finishing touches and that liquor certainly needs a good seeing too.
>>29404672You look at your portrait that somehow survivedWhat do you see>[x] A man with dark hair and a smug smile using a man as a stool, he has a mustache>[x] A red haired woman drinking a red liquid while being waited on hand and foot>[x] A man with blond hair and beard carving a rune into a womans stomach>[x] A Short woman with black hair looking really pissed oogg>[x] other
>>29404767I really want to know what THE RITUAL is
>>29404747It must be ironic that the very same life insurance policy you gave to your employee is now being used to bolster her superhero career.
>>29404747surely we have some sort of remote control that can turn off the power source so we can take it back from her?Or maybe we can play the "actually your parents are still alive, but i can only get them to wake up if you help me get that thing from the hero guy" card and get her to be our minion again.>>29404807>[x] A man with dark hair and a smug smile using a man as a stool, he has a mustache
>>29404840That would be telling.
>>29404840Oh, so I'm not the only one? I was just gonna smile and nod till I figured it out.
>>29404807>[x] A man with dark hair and a smug smile using a man as a stool, he has a mustacheThis, sans SM dude stool. We DO have a bitching seal chair.
>>29404807We are a short blond haired beard toting woman, drinking a red liquid with a man under us as a stool who happens to be waiting on us hand and foot. we also have a mustache
>>29404864You had a remote control, she destroyed it while you fought her allies
>>29404807>>[x] A man with dark hair and a smug smile using a man as a stool, he has a mustacheLike the Captain wouldn't chose this.
>>29404807>[x] otherI'm saying we have close resemblance to Vlad Basarab
>>29404807I agree with >>29404908 A man with dark hair, a smug smile and mustache minus the man-stool.
>>29404807>[x] A Short woman with black hair looking really pissed oogg
>>29404976>>29404945>>29404908>>29404864You look at your former self and scowl. You used to keep your hair short and clean, to look your best, but now your dark hair was long and look lied swamp weeds, your mustach used ot be well groomed, now it's scruffy and accompanied by a beard that a tramp would have, and you can't afford razors since you keep buying booze. You still have your smug smile, despite having eery bone in your body broken several times. You coat is black with a red dress shirt inside, both are stained by unmentionable things. Your pants are in tatters, you have been barefoot for a year, and your brown eyes are alight with hatred and rageWhat is your name
Real Name: Not ImportantVillian Name: Coil
>>29405072Wilhelm Valentine
>>29405072Manipulator
>>29405072>>29405118Though I'd like his real name to be Tyler Masters
>>29405072Chi Mai - Whoever
>>29404852Life insurance? that's a good joke there
>>29405072Wilhelm ValentineTime to let the cat out of the bag, THE RITUAL! is everything the name implies, fueled by desperation and a need, no a hunger for vengeance and a shadow of our former selves back we have delved into magics beyond our reasoning, using what little resources we retain we have cobbled together an unfinished ritual circle whose purpose has yet to be filled, all its components ready for whatever spell or wish we could deem worthy, it is a one time deal however, an ace in the hole that we just scrambled together at the bottom of the barrel.
>>29405206Implying there were any traditional benefits for working as our mooks. They should just be glad we didn't keep their families hostages and gave them 2% for serving as a minor distraction to the heroes
>>29405206Tell it to him.
>>29405229You are Wilhelm Valentine, Also know as drunk washed up asshole rat bastard by your Drinking "Buddies". You sit in your chair and stare at the the mess before you.Empty bottles and hastily written notes cover the place, as do the bloodstains of your former henchmen after R.A.M.F got them during that fateful day. You feel a fire within you still, anger, hate, rage, a need for revenge, A need torip out that cunt's vocal cords and feed them to her for destroying your hard work But first>[x] Beer>[x] THE RITUAL (roll1d20)>[x] Sleep>[x] other
Rolled 7>>29405299>THE RITUAL
Rolled 1>>29405299>>[x] Beer>>[x] THE RITUAL (roll1d20)Because we're apparently going to be really irresponsible with this
>>29405337This won't end well
>>29405299Beer, then when we're completely shitfaced, THE RITUALFOR SHENANNIGANS!
>>29405299Let us sleep for the moment, THE RITUAL can wait. it wouldn't due to make a horrible mistake and end up in a worse situation.Before that rest though let us douse our burning anger in beer.
>>29405349I regret Nothing!!!!!
>>29405337>>29405349>>29405364I regret EVERYTHING!
>>29405299Beer while doing the ritual
>>29405299Drink like a fish, then drink some more while prepping THE RITUAL.Glorious failure shall ensue...
>>29405337You stand up from your extremely comfy chair and open up the cabinet, opening and draining the bottle you grab in seconds before you toss it at a wall, causing it to shatter. You stagger towards the circle you drew, and do not look at any of your notes or your two remaining books of the occult. You grab a shard of glass and cut your thumb, Smearing the blood on the circle in a random pattern as you are to drunk to give a single fuck. You begin chanting, slurring nearly every word as you struggle to stay standing as you see triple of everything.The circle begins to glow and you arr nearly jump with joyUntil these words appear written in your blood"Choo choo, Fuck you"And like that a spectral steam train plows through one of the few walls you have left before vanishing, taking with it your portrait and leaving you a grand total of two wallsWhat do you do>[x] Pass out in vomit>[x] Try to get more beer (roll1d20)>[x} try to read a book (roll1d20-4)>[x] other
If mere drunkedness prevents us from performing a ritual, then we never truly deserved to live.>[x] Ritual>[x] Beer
>>29405479>>[x] Pass out in vomitI feel like we've really accomplished something here. I couldn't accurately describe what but I get that feeling.
Rolled 19 + 4>>29405479Could have been worse>[x} try to read a book (roll1d20-4)one more time!
>>29405505Oh wait now I know, we just pissed off a God. Lets hope this is all he decides to do to us for prank calling him.
Rolled 7>>29405479>>[x] Try to get more beer (roll1d20)
>>29405523Remember what said god used to do to people who pissed him off, besides hitting them with a trainAlso Should I make a paste bin?
>>29405479Well, at least we still have the chair...Hang the cheapest blanket over the hole in the wall then get some damn sleep.
Rolled 20 - 4>>29405479try to get more beer, the train was clearly a hallucination, no self respecting spirit of the arcane world wou...Pass out in vomit.
>>29405567Truly the dice are fickle in this quest
>>29405567You stare ate where your favorite wall used to be.you swear you hear villainous laughter on the wind"Godfucking dammit" You mutter as you shamble towards the liqor cabinet to find *gasp* a bottle of wine you somehow missed over the years, it is of a rare vintage and...you don't care this would get you a pretty penny on the market, as you bite the cork out and spit it at where the ghost train came from. You down the liquid as you sway from side to side, You try to toss the bottle but end up on your knees, covered in your own vomit (which is mostly bear and a handful of cheap pretzels) you try to stand but give up and pass out in your own vomit. You sleep peacefully despite being surrounded by rodentsThe next morning"VALENTINE" You awaken to screaming. You push yourself out of the now dried vomit pool and find yourself staring at another annoyanceR.A.M.FReal angry Massive fucker or at least a projection of him"TURN YOURSELF IN VALENTINE BEFORE I *BLEEEEEP* Your *BLEEEEP* With my*BLEEEEP* till you shit out nothing but *BLEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEP*He is dressed like a super powered gimp and looks like someone gave steroids sentinence, oh wait that's exactly what you didGood timesWhat do you >[x] I didn't do nothing officer>[x] Well if it isn't the creepiest fucker around, no cock in your ass today Ehh R.A.M.F>[x] *flip him off and find a dark quite place to ride this hangover out in*>[x] other
>>29405738>>[x] I didn't do nothing officerAnd you can't prove I did. I am the victim of circumstances here
Rolled 13>>29405738as pleasantly as is possible with this hangover state "I didn't do anything officer" whilst calmly flipping him off, the chucklefuck just gave us a wakeup call we really don't need right now.Other: shiver from the cold, created by the two massive holes in our hovel, which have always been there and were implicitly NOT created by an interdenominational train.
>>29405781>>29405847Anyone else
>>29405738>[x] Well if it isn't the creepiest fucker around, no cock in your ass today Ehh R.A.M.F
>>29405928I'll go with option 3 please, with a side of half coherent insults and a cup of monologue.
>>29405847You sit up and nurse your head, trying to calm the storm within. You stare at the metal mask you welded onto R.A.M.F's face years ago for "Volunteering" in your latest experiment.You smile"I didn't do anything officer" You say"BULLSHIT YOU LITTLE" He shouts. You flip him the bird, causing him to roar in rageYou clutch your ears, rolling around in suffering no man should ever hear"was that really necessary you fetishistic asshole?" you ask"You got a lot of people killed Willhelm" He says flickering like an exposed flameYou shrug and search for a beer to clear the pain and discomfort."No but it is your fault" He says ""You aren't supposed to run"."Not my fault Cemi cal is a murderous whore" You say as you try to get a single drop of nectar from a long empty bottle. R.A.M.F growls at you. You want to rip his mask off and beat him to death with it."Now, you are going to go to the center of the city, And eagle is goign to whoop your ass" He says licking his lips "if you don't I'll hunt you down".What do you sya>[x] fuck....off>[x] Fine>[x] Why am I doing this again>[x] write in
>>29406060>>[x] Why am I doing this again?Is this a condition of my parole?
>>29406060Why the hell am I doing this again? I am an asshole but this is still a bit much...
Rolled 20>>29406060"well that's a fine new turn for you guys, public beatings! whatever will you think of next? scratch that, don't you might hurt yourself" and with a sour groan stand up and proceed to ignore him trying to kick the debris of your ruined...home? back into some semblance of order, preferably while he watches.
>>29406060>"Oh, so I'll be trading one asskicking for another? Fuck off."
>phantom train destroyed living roomWell fuck. Black magic is so unreliable these days.Truly this is rock bottom, no power, no minions, booze is gone, only half the room is left..There must be some way to escape this pit!
>Remind RAMF about the the good ol days. Experiments, ruling the world, and crushing self-righteous tools.
>>29406188More booze?
>>29406207 This>remind him we're not the bad guy>remind him there are much worse people out there he could concern himself with>try to get him to help us, or at least take us to lunch. For old times sake.
So, what exactly are our goals/options here?We've got to get back on top, sure, but we need powers. And influence. And money. And a new suit.
>>29406101"Why am I doing this again?" You ask."Because every time you misbehave you have to be...punished" R.A.M.F says, you swear you can see him turning redder than he already is, sick fucker."Oh so I'll be trading one asskicking for another?" You ask "Fuck of" You begin trying to organize your home when he roars again, your eye twitches as your mind screams in pain"I said fuck off" You say angrily "What is a drunkard like m going to do anyway"."Upset the civvies" He says "Get one of the other scumbags to give you a loan of power"His voice bores into your minds and tears into it like a serrated blade, like the one you used to cut him open to implant all of those mind breaking experimental drugs into him directly as you had just used all of the injectors to fill a disobedient minion with liquid explosives before sending him home to his family. You look at the hologram, tracing every surgical scar, that R.A.M.F tells everyone he got from fight. He's never told anyone how you used to make him squeel as you tested how long it would take for a man to turn into a monster, However he escape just as you were about to replace his legs with those of a spider. because why not "Look We both know I'm harmless now a days" You say softly "How about lunch, We'll talk about how you should be dealing with the upstarts or maybe help me out""I know that, The Eagle however still thinks you're planning to get back at us, doesn't help Cemi blamed you for her little spree last night" He says "Look, if you can still walk after Eagle kicks your ass I'll make sure you don't starve""and If I kick his as, what then?" you ask. R.A.M.F Laughs"Then I'm a pretty fucking fairy"He says "Two hours, our your ass is mine Valentine". And with that, he vanishes and you are once again aloneWhat do you do?>[x] go to the center of the city>[x] Procure a weapon>[x] look through your book of demons and summon some help>[x] other
>>29406361>>[x] Procure a weaponMight as well see if there is anything left in the armory so this upcoming fight doesn't look completely ridiculous
>>29406361>Demons
>>29406361We need SOMETHING. Some sort of weapon that we can hide on or inside our body. Or program something to explode downtown after a few hours if we dont turn it off. I'm not afraid to go into the lions den but I better know for sure I'm going to walk out.I'm sick of being such a shit villain.
Rolled 4>>29406361Procure a weapon FROM our apparent box of demons, now that is an interesting thing to drop into our laps OP.>>29406442also this, what sort of self respecting man of EVIL are we if we don't have a backup plan or threat to get us out.justice rallybm capatcha
>>29406474You need a weapon, any weapon, however the only thing around this shit hole are rock, and rats, not very good for defending yourself with. You grab your trusty Tome of forbidden knowledge and browse through the many horrors with in four names catch your eyeThe skull render (heavy weapons and weaposn with the word great slapped on)The Snitch (Daggers and guns)Kim'agari (Weapons for causing delicious torment on others) <You know this succubus, but she sees you little more than a future pet who's being stuborn as a mule)Missy (canes and trains)Also you'll need a back up planwill you>kidnap some orphans>set fire to the church>Or threaten the mayor with castration?
Minions, weapons, let's do the whole lot.
>>29406594You can still get minionsBut it may cost a bit, extra
>>29406573>>set fire to the churchLet's go with the Kim'agari. Other people's lives should be as miserable as our own.
>>29406573>Weapons for causing torment/orphansAnything that brings death instantly is so.. heavy handed.Orphans will make good minions.
Rolled 3>>29406573Set an incendiary bomb ready to blow in a church if certain conditions are not met. and pick out the name missy, every dapper man deserves a cane, no matter their current state of depperness.
>>29406665>caneYes, but none of this southern gentleman bullshit. Something stout with a weighted head. I trust we know how to use a cane as a weapon? Dad always said "don't carry a weapon you don't want shoved up your ass."
>>29406647You make a mental note to send a present to the church that will let them all see their lord if certain conditions aren't met, like booze, or perhaps the mayor's daughter or something. You decide to go with what you know, and begin the ritual for summoning Kim'agari. It isn't that hard, A drop of blood or two, a bit of your....seed, some of your precious booze and a chant the resembles a rap song far to much for your comfort. With a moan she appears from the book, floating like she owns the place"So you've finally given up, eh dear" She says trying to make herself taller than you "I assure you you'll adore your new home".. She tries to drag you into hell, but you don't budge, partially due to the fact she is used to....well younger souls You stopped associating with her due this, but she swings all ways, even ways that most other lust demons don't dare to"Dear lord you can't wait a few fucking years can you" You say "Anyways I need a weapon"She stretches, trying to seduce you with her very well endowed bus."Well lets see what toys I've got for you" She says reaching into nothing"."Pain's embrace" She says pulling forth a whip covered in thorns that pulsate "A single scratch of this and you'll be screaming in pain for hours"Lover quarrel" She says "this knife will fill your foe with hate for his love ones""One night stand" She says pulling for a rapier "Drains the energy of it's victims""Wai, don't deal with that hussy" A small vocie calls fro your book "I'll give you something much better""What?" you ask"A cane"What do you choose
>>29406941>"Lover quarrel" She says "this knife will fill your foe with hate for his love ones"Corruption stories are my favorite and this seems like the perfect tool to accomplish just that
Rolled 17>>29406941I think i speak for most of us when i say this bitch be a gold digger, better to seek help from a possible ally rather than throw our lot in with someone we KNOW is going to devour us.Besides, we are getting a suit soon, whether its fresh or ripped from the still warm body of some poor fool we will need a cane to complete the image.
>>29407012Oh she doesn't intend to eat all of your souljust most of it, and burning what little remains when she's done with you.
>>29407041It's cute how she thinks we'd actually allow her to do that if we had any power.
Rolled 3>>29407041Not gonna lie, i bet there are some people out there into that. but I'm not one of them.
>>29407064have you already voted?
>>29406941Wouldn't mind the cane, but I don't want our ladyfriend here to think we called on her for nothing. Can she augment our body?
>>29407131Yes
>>29407121Yes I'm this guy: >>29406971I'm just hoping we branch out to different powers instead of retreading the same character.
>>29407151>>29407151Well his weapon was a monstrosity Cane/Sword?minigun
Rolled 13>>29407140Horns, i demand small spiraled black horns. if not for any practical use, it would be perfect for intimidation, and solidifying our devilish good looks.Which we are hiding beneath a guise of hobo.
>>29407174Oh come now, we'd stick out like a virgin at the orgy. People aren't going to trust us if we walk around looking like Satan himself.
Rolled 18>>29407242Surely that's the point.Or maybe people will be liable to trust us more, because you know.you don't say no to the devil.
>>29407174She looks at you for a moment and smiles"Well you know my price for those kinds of things dear" She says as she touches your face, no doubt planning on doing horrible things to your soul the second you bite the dust, should've really thought out the the first deal you made with her, back when you first started out "For everychange I give you for you, I make one for me"."Since this is the first time you've asked for such a thing" She adds "I'll let you choose what else I change of you" You grind your teeth in thoughtDO you accept this dealY/nand what do you ask for>[x] horns (adds ability, ram)>[x] poison fangs (adds Ability, Bite)>[x] a demon arm (stronger hits, but you get a bit bloodthirsty>[x] Eyes of the seducer (gainn ability, Charm)
>>29407281>>[x] Eyes of the seducer (gainn ability, Charm)I think we should go with this, we can be more manipulative this way.
>>29407281>>[x] Eyes of the seducer (gainn ability, Charm)Because why not.
>>29407307I'm cool with that
Rolled 8>>29407281You are the worst villain of them all such a horrible set of things to choose from.
>>29407340First set is always rather shit,
Rolled 20>>29407366>>29407366I meant it in the best possible way my friend, i can't choose, those eyes look mighty enticing but i have my heart set on horns. if we accept her at all.
>>29407402With the current spread of votes all being accepting from her I think that's pretty likely to occur
Rolled 14>>29407436There is always later, we can conspire with Missy another time, possibly towards the downfall of the succubus we seem to be pledging our soul too.
>>29407327>>29407307>>29407318"I wish for the eyes of the seducer" You say deciding that you should live without care about what happens to you when She inevitably takes you. She giggles like a school girl and plucks your eyes out, leaving you screaming in pain as she replaces them with two predatory eyes not unlike her own. She holds a mirror up so you can see"Snake eyes?" You ask as you try to blink away the burning pain that is somehow both cold and hot. She looks at you hungrily, Like she has done so many times before."Now, for your payment" She says "Now what to do with you then, I'll give you four choicesThey are>[x] Purple skin >[x] Prehensile tongue (you have little control over it)>[x] useless tail>[x] a few extra joints (will take a while to get used to)
>>29407486Also to succeed with charm you have to roll a 15 or over, unless the person you are trying to charm knows you are doing so, then you just have to beat their roll
Rolled 9>>29407486Prehensile tongueI'm going to assume this will also be snakelike.Then after she makes her change, activate your eyes, lets see just how powerful they are, let us charm the seducer.
>>29407486>>[x] Purple skinEverything else seems like a hindrance, plus if we make more deals later on this is going to match nicely with the demonic-nature of the stuff she offers.
>>29407486>>[x] Prehensile tongue (you have little control over it)We'll be a big hit with the ladies though it'll probably screw over our ability to speak initially.
>>29407551Another thing to consider is of course how these hindrances could be evolved in the future to be useful for us.
>>29407546Being purple makes you stand out
Rolled 10>>29407599More so than black horns? and a long wavy tongue we can't control yet?
>>29407634Ok you got me there
>>29407599For the purple skin, to make it more of a hindrance maybe make it slimy, thin, or limits our ability to feel things.
Rolled 12>>29407655That's a blessing in disguise though, pain resistance.
>>29407655Will do for later deals
>>29407669Wouldn't the inability to feel pain make you more reckless? Pain exists for a reason, it's there to tell your body that something's not quite right.
>>29407551"Prehensile tongue" You sigh. She smiles and reaches into your mouth, her fingers glow a color you've never seen despite staring into the open wounds of reality once before. A blinding pain shoots down your throat as you convulse as if being electrocuted. She laughs as your tongue dance like a snake out of your mouth.You eventually make it calm down, only for it to start up again"You're doing this aren't you" you try to say but it comes out as gibberish."See all of the booze hasn't rotted your brain completely dear" She says "Good, I want to break that part of you personally". With a laugh she disappears in a twirl of smoke.The books shuts".....did you really take that deaL?" The voice from earlier says"Oh fuck off" You say placing the book back in your makeshift bookshelf. well that could've gone...worse and better reallyhowever and hour has passed from the time you had your old eyes plucked out and your tongue fucked with what do you do>[x] wait for R.A.M.F>[x] go fight the eagle after announcing your little gift to the church>[x] other
>>29407713>>[x] go fight the eagle after announcing your little gift to the churchLet's get into action and give a good show for the dumb townies
Rolled 2>>29407706There are pros and cons, to a lack of pain. just saying that it could be both a benefit and a curse.Besides who's to say all our mutations are going to have negative effects anyway, our lovely benefactor might decide to give us something beneficial later, of her own ac...Ahh fuck it w all know she wants us dead fast.>>29407713Go fight eagle after announcing your little gift too the church.It would be best to get things over with, its not as if the supers are gonna kill us, well...most of them aren't at least.
>>29407713>>[x] go fight the eagle after announcing your little gift to the churchWhat could possibly go wrong?
>>29407778You walk out of your "Home" with a smug smile upon your lips as you imagine all the things you want to do to The eagle. Pluck out his eyes, impale him with the american flag, cook him alive, feed him his own wings, pay him back for the tearing up your nice coat. One day you'll make good on all of this in more, he needs to punished for daring to overthrow you. Most of the civilians ignore you, I mean you are covered in vomit. You catch a ride on the back of a bus, and are soon in the cent of this horrible city. The mayor is giving a speech, as usual, apologizing for Cemi Cal, and swearing they'll bring you to justice, Oh this is going to be delicious. You stride up onto his stage, pushing the fat man off and grabbing his microphone, your head still throbbing as his guard surround you"Pull the trigger, I dare you" You say "Unless you do exactly what I say, all of the kiddies in sunday school get a nice preview of hell, curtsy of Uncle Valentine". Everyone gasp, the mayor whines a bit, the guards swea, and some gets the balls to dial her for douchebag, wonderful. You enjoy being superior before your foe is announced by the blaring of the national anthem, fucking egotistical asshole had to choose that for his theme song didn't heHe appears like a majestic...well eagle, flapping his great wings and flashing his inhumane body that makes the idiotic young women swoon"Valentine" He says puffing out his chest "I knew you'd show your true colors once more, Now what say you evil villain". God yu forget he had an eagle headWrite it
Rolled 16>>29407875"i came here because YOU called me here, bird brain. the Firebombs primed to explode are a fail safe, i wouldn't want you ruining my already diminishing good looks!" and with that leave the next move up to him.
>>29407875I'm having a bad day right now, really every day has been unpleasant ever since you heroes decided to stick your noses in my business. I've done my best to break those noses and even though I have fallen it makes me happy to see that I can still instill a little fear in the cattle that inhabit this town. It was unfortunate that most of you heroes only came to be from me not taking care of loose ends.What you people don't realize is that I have managed to insert a mole right into your organization. use charm on Cami CalNow Cami Cal, attack the crowd!
>>29407939Cemi cal is currently asleep in her well furnished room in the heroes expensive as dicks tower, but that is a clever idea
>>29407939Dang it misread it, doesn't appear Cami Cal is here, change Cami Cal to Eagle
Rolled 3>>29407939Ok that's it, This my vote is for this. Dice gods don't you dare fuck with me!
>>29407966You sigh deeply, wondering how this asshole ever beat you in the first....oh yeah he had friends. Kim still hasn't let you forget the you were beaten by the "power of frienship". Friendship my ass, most of them were ready to kill eachother back then due to paranoia "I said, WHAT SAY YOU VILLAIN" Eagle shouts again, hurting your head. You nurse your head and smile a devious smile "I am having a bad day right now, really every days since you heroes decided to stick your nose into my business" You say trying to sound villainous and not like an angry hungover asshole "I've done my best to break those noses and even though I have fallen it makes me happy to see that I can still instil a little fear in the cattle that inhabit town, it was unfortunate that most of your heroes only came to be from me not taking care of loose ends"Eagle glares at you as the crowd begins to whisper, he cracks his knuckles and ruffles his feathers,like the mutant freak he is."You created us from your cruelty" Eagle says trying to win back the crowd "And we roes up from what your twisted mind intended for us, valentine"You raise a finger, silencing Eagle"What you people do not know is that I have manage to insert a mole right into your organization of "heroism"You stare into eagle's eyes"Now eagle, Attack the crowd"Roll1d20
Rolled 15>>29408068>"Now eagle, Attack the crowd"I'm hoping we didn't just embaress ourselves doing this come on Crit!
Rolled 8>>29408081This gonna be good
Rolled 11>>29408068Nat 1 ahoy!
>>29408081And thus do the heroes become tarnished, and trust is lost from the people and others who might still obey us.
>>29408081You stare into the cloaca avengers eyes and watch as his poor Imitation of a human mind turns to puddy into your hands. He wasn't the smartest of men, and certainly didn't have the healthiest mind. However you find his horror at realizing he was right that you weren't going to lay down like a beaten dog and take the beating because they said you had to.The pain in his eyes as he attacks the crowd of innocents is delicious to you, oh so delicious. The guards seem confused and lost. You spread your arms and laugh, your dammed tongue getting in the way once more. OH this was worth it all. to see the peoples' hero drop them like stones from the sky, and to see them splat onto other people, as everyone shrieked in misery similar to yours, which was worsened by their screaming, the dicks. Sure you had probably opened a can of worms for yourself, but there is no way they could fix eagle reputation . The mayor waddled away as Eagle tried to stop himself as demonic energies molested his mind further and further. You should have given him talons instead of a bigass eagle head.....wait a minute, I wonder how the city will react to the their hero eating the guts of a pregnant woman.....(http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nPxf58jUZYQ)OH MOTHERFUCKER, just had to ruin my fun didn't you, can't let a vengeful god have his fun can you, you cunt?"VALENTINE!!" she screamed "YOU WOKE ME UP ON A MONDAY YOU RAT, TIME FOR YOUR DAILY DOES OF VITAMIN PLASMA""Eat Eagle monstrosity you harlot" You say calmly as the eagle dives at the pajama Wearing Cemi Cal"Also I do so want my toy back""NEVER!" She screams as she aims at the eagle. "Fine" You say "One of you will die to day". as you say that a bolt of plasma melts the head of the guard nearest to you"HOLY FUU" You scream as you turn to notice a slightly burning Eagle descend towards you as the plasma wielding bitch lobs another barrageEnd of thread one
>>29408194Yep
>>29408271>You scream as you turn to notice a slightly burning Eagle descend towards you as the plasma wielding bitch lobs another barrageKind of a slow start but next thread should be exciting. I'm laying 2 to 3 odds one of them kills us. It was also impressive to see how such a simple command affected him for what had to be a decent amount of time till Cemi Cal's arrival. That it pushed him beyond simply wounding to full on Sociopath levels of killing makes me think we did something right with this play.
>>29408271Missy was the giant demon turned cute girl, right? We shoulda seen what she had to offer.
>>29408271Huh, just read through, kinda weird hour to stop. What timezone are you in?
>>29408331Also any idea when that next thread will be?>>29408349Yeah could you share what you would have offered if we'd gone down that path?
>>29408331Say you manage to stop the big villain without killing him, take away his powers, everything. He gets drunk and the blast happy one of you takes out a few civvies as he refuses to get his beating for justice.So you set up an arrangement to calm down the publicyou leave himm alone for a few hourshe finally shows up and blabs your origin before mind controlling when He had no such ability yesterdayvery similar to his former world bending anticwould you trust this fucker a second time?
>>29408359PST>>29408364Still can, it's just that, well, that connects you to Dick Vilian Bethany Dastardly the third, who while he is the god of villainy, He is also a massive fucking prick.
>>29408419I thought that since he started fucking around elsewhere, she woulda been in the clear.
>>29408419Nevermind than I much prefer Valentine establishing his own legend instead of drawing from that well.
>>29408433Still his herald, though she still hates being so, each of those demons Can fuck you over. by the way.
>>29408451Well she isn't really drawing from his power.
>>29408419Also I forgot to mention I archived the thread
>>29408392Oh their behavior is perfectly in line with what we just pulled. We're going to have to abandon all our known locations after this because if Eagle lives through this there is no way he isn't going to want to go anti-hero killer on us.
>>29408528SO all the bars in town, and the ruins of your home, don't forget to grab the demon book, or do, it's a real can of worms
Did Bethany...err... Valentine create all of these heroes through his sick and demented torture?Also, welcome back mustache twirler. I nearly missed that thread.
