>>29369446
They are easy to rape.

I don't know, Anon. Is this a comedy bit?

Because fictional things grab hold of real things in an effort to anchor themselves to reality. It gives them a few moments of reprieve before being sucked screaming back into the end of the universe.

Easy to pick, they like the taste of salt and the oils in them help the older ones with their arthritis.

Plus you can make necklaces out of the shells.

Practically every coastal orcish settlement has a clam farm.

essential amino acids and proteins
helps their brain growth

>>29369475
>Fantasy based stand-up
Mite b cool.

>>29369446
COZ YOU CAN CLAM IF YOU WONNA JAM

its like eating peanuts eccept they have meat inside them

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>>29369446

>>29369509
How many elves does it take to change a lamp wick?
Just one. But in the days of the Old Kingdom a hundred servants would have changed a thousand lamp wicks at their slightest whim.

How many dwarves does it take to change a lamp wick.
None. Dwarves aren't scared of the dark.

How many old orcs does it take to change a lamp wick?
Two. One to change the wick and the other to grumble about how lamps aren't as bright as they used to be.

How many humans does it take to change a lamp wick?
Just one so long as you can convinced them not to fornicate with it.

How many dragons does it take to light a lamp wick?
No one has survived to report.

>>29369446
What do you think those tusks are for? They're for prying open the shells of various sea food, from clams and oysters to crabs and lobsters. Orcs are naturally powerfully-build because they're coastal divers and spear fisherman, with strong jaws and large teeth as relics from their pre-tool-use days. When they're forced inland, especially to areas with poor farming and sparse animal populations, they resort to raiding because of a lack of cultural practices relating to survival in badlands.

>>29369605
What's the, what's the deal with dragon food?

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>>29369580
Oh, that's boner confusing.

>>29369652
I am so going to use this for my character when halfling asshole goes on a racial rant.

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>>29369674

>>29369663
Recent research seems to indicate a T-Rex would consume about 40,000 calories per day which is about 80 hamburgers or half a human. Dragons must have a vastly higher metabolism (and control over body heat) if they can fly. Maybe that's the primary function of the wings, cooling surfaces.

>>29369720
Go for it. Better than the alternative explanation, which is the tusks being used like the tusks and horns of certain animals in mating fights. Unless you're into buff male orcs going at each other mouth-on-mouth until one submits and the top gets the girl.

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>>29369738

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>>29369785
Insects are like that.

>>29369777
Orcs rubbing their tusks together is a sign of affection in my setting. Saying two orcs are "rubbing tusks" is a euphemism to say they're fucking each other.

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>>29369873

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>>29369907

>>29369605
>None. Dwarves aren't scared of the dark.
You dorfwank is showing., especially since in most settings it is orcs and elves who have darksight and not dwarves. A better punchline would be
>Two. One to change the wick and one to dig too deep and get the entire barrow murdered brutally by demons and orcs.

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>>29369892
It must make orcs sad that they can't kiss humans properly.

>>29369963
Which is odd considering in most setting dorfs spend most of their lives underground.

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>>29369952
Horseshoe crabs are funny. They even have blue blood.

>>29369969
More like the fact humans have no tusks to rub and grapple against amidst the throes of bedroll passion just proves how inadequate of lovers they are.

A true orc gains as many scars at night as he does in battle.

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>>29369952

>>29370041
MOTHRA!

>>29370041
Yes and scientists extract their blood so they can use it to detect bacterial toxins.

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>>29370041

>>29370041
horseshoe crab blood is valued by scientists because horseshoe crabs lived since dinosaurs roamed the earth, which means they been through many, many dieseases

>>29370111
Is that Zeus and Ganymede?

>>29369760
>be a dragon
>some ephemeral manling walks into my home shouting about an affront to justice
>eat him
>another one shows up the next day
This is why dragons grow all the way to Colossal.

>>29369760
We all know Dragons are just living nuclear furnaces, why do you think they sleep on piles of Gold?

>>29369652
That...that's actually pretty brilliant. Might have to now try and squeeze Orcs into my tropical island setting.

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>>29370111

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>>29370110

>>29370176
>Orcs into my Tropical Island setting

Let's make Orc Rum a thing.
What's Orc Rum like?

>>29370189
did i also for get that horseshoe crab blood is worth a hundred to thousand, roughly

>>29370173
Also the trespassers are covered in metal.

They come with their own baking foil for that evenly cooked texture.

>>29370226
It kills a lesser man.

>>29370226
Orcs, for all their physical prowess, are lightweights when it comes to alcohol.

So they put other things in the rum.

Sometimes its a type of mushroom and sometimes its 'happy leaf'. Either way its fun.

Used in some of their religious ceremonies.

>>29370176
Feel free. It's always good to try to explain why a given fantasy race has x or y feature, and try to build their cultural practices from that. Halflings, for example, are probably from areas with limited food, like how pygmy species tend to appear on isolated islands. Halflings should, thus, feature prominently in archipelagos worldwide, and would make spectacular sailors because the take up little space, take up fewer rations, and can scale rigging with ease.

Culturally, they could easily cover the gamut, from Maori to Japanese to Filipino. Of course, their small stature, low populations, and isolated lands make them rife for exploitation by the navies and merchants of distant lands. They likely end up the unfortunate victims of colonization and slave trade where they lack proper navies to secure their shores.

See? It's a fun game.

>>29370226
That's a boring question with an interesting implication.

Who harvests the sugar cane? Who works the sugar refineries? What are the mortality rates? What are the economic and social trends that surround this institution?

Rum doesn't exist without those questions being answered.

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>>29371087
I'm not sure what you're getting at, short of horrible imperialist trade practices.

>>29371087
Make the rum out of honey instead of sugar.

>>29371557
That's mead. If rum's not made using molasses, it's not rum.

>>29371478
There are also other possibilities, more akin to modern rum production, with local populations of distillers and harvesters. But you have to get the labor force for harvesting and growing from somewhere, whether it's slaves captured in a sort of Flower War, a triangle trade, magical constructs/voodoo undead working the fields, whatever. There are lots of interesting options, and that's what's properly interesting about this question of orcish rum production.

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>>29371557
Better yet, out of crushed island fairies.

Also, brown elves better be involved in this setting somehow,

>>29371557
>orc apiaries
Oh man.

>>29371677
>Tropical Mayan Brown Elves

Yes perfect

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>>29371709
>So here we have the orcish islands of-
>BEEEEEEEEEEEEEEES! GIANT BEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEES!

>>29371738
we debated them yesterday. a huge island chain (made up of smaller islands) would make for an awesome setting.
Maybe humans and Dorfs are newcomers selling metal weapons to the volcanic island elves and the island orcs.

Because these two groups compete for the best fishing grounds

>>29372232
This was done years ago, too. There were even Tikiforged.

>>29371045
>Maori orcs
That's fucking scary.

>>29371803
>InB4 Orcs are Abeil slaves, forced to cultivate the vast flower fields for their bee mistresses.

>>29372232
That's silly. Orcs are clearly divers for bottom-dwelling shelled creatures and for spear fishing, but elves aren't built for that. They might be able to fish from boats, but with their long limbs and light frames and lack of large teeth, they're better off climbing trees for tropical fruit harvests.

Coconuts, pomegranates, mangos. They could also harvest massive fantasy flowers for nectar, and have crude apiaries in the hills with the fields of wild flowers growing on the volcanic mountainsides.

I expect the orcs and the elves would have great trade relationships, and would hardly ever compete because they find dramatically different areas favorable. I would even expect them to peaceably inhabit the same islands.

Imagine it. Orks in form-fitting shark-skin pants, necks, wrists, and ankles adorned in shark teeth and massive black and white pearls. Tattoos with squid ink using fish-bone needles. Spears of bamboo and driftwood with simple fire-hardened tips, or the occasional obsidian or flint head traded to them by the elves. The orcs carry simple chipped stone knives for utility work and gutting/skinning their harvests.

The elves, meanwhile, would have loose grass skirts, simple padded armor of woven grass pads for skirmishes with other elves. Flowers harvested as a simple component of their daily work adorning their clothes and hair. Long poles with sharp hooks for getting fruit without climbing. Simple bows and arrows for occasional land hunts.

I'm loving this thread thus far.

>>29372542
That is oretty much how I imagined it. Elves are the jungle hunters who live in giant tree cities while the orcs are coastal fisherman who fight octopi and domesticate stingrays. Every now and then, the two come together to throw some cuhrazee parties.

>>29369873
dude im fucking done.

>>29372542
The problem is that the amount of food that an island has on it is limited by the island's small size. The slow reproductive cycle, migration between islands, or very careful farming and forestry may be the reason that means of sustenance would be enough for them.

>>29372542
Lizardfolk would make great polynesian style distance sailors. Can go without food and water for much longer than mammals, good swimmers, nictating membranes, etcetera.

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>>29372665

>>29372674
Which is why the inland elves would be slow-breeding, slight, and have slower metabolisms, while the coastal fisherman orcs would have more plentiful, higher-protein food, but also be more likely to suffer injury or death while hunting, resulting in larder, faster-breeding folks. Intertribal conflict between elves would also serve to curb too large of a population growth, as stretching your resources would force you to push another tribe's borders, there would be a conflict, and suddenly you would have less mouths to feed. Orcs, again, would be more curbed by unfortunate encounters with sharks or stingrays or getting stuck under a rock outcropping and running out of air.

The orcs would probably trade pearls, shells, the skins of sharks and stingrays, exotic teeth, meat, and other such things. The elves would trade fruits, honey, materials from the volcanic hills, woven goods like crude mats and baskets. Only rarely would the orcs and elves come into conflict with each other, with conflict being much more likely within their own race over territories the different tribes want from each other.

>>29372751
Hell, if they're saltwater crocodile-style, they wouldn't even need canoes, and could stay out at sea for months fishing by hand and floating while just chilling. They would make great traders, and could settle far and abroad fairly easily. I can just imagine three lizardfolk washing ashore, bags made of bladders and sealed with wax full of strange goods.

-cough- Giant Crabs -cough-

>>29370111
>Photographers
>No sense of right and wrong!

>>29372997
Crocfolk would probably be far more migratory than the other races, seeing as they gain more from constantly moving goods along the island chain. They would be the source of more exotic goods, tales from off-island, and wonders from far-away places. I could see them using long, low canoes that allow them to lay flat and paddle with their limbs while still having room for stuff.
Plus, expressionless, constantly grinning 8' reptiles make for great vendors of crazy shit to PC's. And if your players go standard murderhobo, good luck trying to kill a croc man with a war club.

>>29372997
>Be peasant of seaside kingdom
>Be trawling the shallows for shells to make a necklace so my lord will stop beating me and he can go fuck his wife for 10 minutes
>Hear a loud splashing sound
>Turn around
>A terrible beast is rising from the depths
>At least 5 feet long, writhing with tenticles
>It surfaces, opens it's great and many-teethed maw and roars
>Shit myself with fear
>Run home
>Wife tells me it was just a trader
>Go to the market
>Crocodile man is selling exotic goods, including a seaweed suit for protection against jellyfish
>Silently slip away in the night to live in the mountain kingdoms

At least the worst I get with the Dwarf traders is occasional kick in the balls from a woman I accidentally called sir. How am I supposed to tell the difference when they all wear armour and have beards?

>>29373699
And they all have Australian accents.

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>>29374122

>>29373720
It depends. you're probably pretty tall, right? Dwarves tend to give tall people a sort of "Tall-person" exception for faux pas like that. They just assume that anyone more than 5" tall are pretty much uncultured and can't speak the language if they tried. Being kicked in the balls is the WORST they'll do to you.

Ask a Gnome or a Halfling like me what it's like trying to navigate Dwarven trading and sociological issues. It's a fucking land-mine - One of my associated made that exact mistake to a vender once, and the ENTIRE CLAN boycotted our business until he was demoted to Janitor.

Not to mention the looks I get when I have trouble pronouncing some of the more complicated Dwarvish words. No language should have that many "Gck," "Veh," and "Vul" sounds in one sentance, and they act like I"m a pariah whenever I mispronounce "Gelkcvulchistam."

>>29373699
Yeah, that's fantastic. Sure, a croc could go without a canoe and just float on the surface. But a canoe is much more comfy, allows for transporting more goods, and gives you great access to sunning yourself.

I imagine they mostly move small amounts of high-value goods - volcanic glass beads, pearls, seeds, spices, fertilized eggs, that kind of thing. Higher-end dealers might have some magic goods and materials as well. I'm picturing them being light on jewelry, clothing, and other worn things, but big on decorative non-ritual scarification. After all, if you're migratory, it's still good to see how related you are to another croc you happen across by whether they have similar patterns.

>>29373720
Large amounts of facial hair suggest some kind of large-particle air contamination. Volcanic dust, coal smoke, something like that. You're probably going to get black lung if you don't grow yourself a big, bristly mustache long enough to cover your mouth.

>>29374289
6 foot 1. I try my best to avoid gender specific pronouns when addressing dwarfs, but it's hard to attract people to my turnip stand without shouting "YOU SIR (or madam), DO YOU WANT TURNIPS?"

>>29374292
So that's where my cough came from. I figured it was just the adjusting from the salt air, but now you mention it everyone here is pretty heavy on the facial hair. My turnip supplier lives halfway up the (supposedly) dead volcano nearby, and he had to sling his beard over his shoulder while working.

>>29374292
They give themselves scars or tattoes for every island they visit. Like a passport stamp.

>>29374452
I'm sure you've also noticed them putting veils and scarves on children too small to grow mustaches yet, and women of races that don't grow beards at all. Remember, if a race's biology naturally does something, there's something in their natural environment that makes it a good idea. For example, dwarves are so squat and broad because it makes them incredibly stable. There's only two things I've ever seen climb a nearly-sheer cliff face without taking handholds or ropes, and that's a mountain goat and a dwarf.

Now, most people would assume that means the dwarven affinity for alcohol is because they have water impurities, but that couldn't be further from the truth. Most of their water comes from pure underground springs and mountaintop melts. No, the truth of the matter is that alcohol is a cultural novelty for them, imported from the humans, with their plains farms, river deltas, and 'grains.' Who other than humans are well-suited in their natural environments to make beer, after all?

Dwarves just happened to like the taste, and, fascinated with the craftsmanship, wanted to see if they could do it one better. Just wait until they start importing fruit wines from elven orchards-forests!

>>29374546
I'm picturing a croc with scars from X mid-ocean meetup with another croc, tattoos from visiting Y orc village on the coast, and a few neat piercings from climbing up to elven tribe Z, living among the wild flowers and fruit trees of the rich volcanic mountainside soil.

>>29372631
Orcs are an entire race of Steve Erwins.

>>29369474
Browsing in a quiet as Fuck waiting room. Your little gay comment made me shoot burgers out of my fucking nose you faggot. Everyone is looking at me.

Okay, so.

>Coastal orc divers and fisherman, big on sharkskin, pearls, and tattoos.
>Elves that grow fruit trees in rich volcanic soil, honey and mountainflowers, grass skirts and flower boas.
>Dwarves that live up near the caldera, have beards to protect them from volcanic dust and ash, imported the practice of beer from humans.
>Halflings that live on inland jungle and plain areas on islands, hunting and farming. Fantastic sailors, often enslaved.
>Saltwater crocodile lizardfolk that ply the waves in canoes, trade exotic wares from port to port, and are largely self-sufficient and barely need the land at all.
>Humans who live along rivers and deltas, and grow crops in the fertile plains and valleys. Probably modeled after early Egyptian/Indian/Arabian cultures.

I like this setting. Humans clearly have the largest agricultural base, Dwarves probably have the best metallurgy, Elves have old memories and much more time per generation to selectively breed trees and bees, Halflings have ships the likes of which few other races can believe, Orcs have population and pearls and size, and Crocs are self-sufficient.

Nifty niches. Not too different from a generic fantasy setting, but with a lot more rational explanation for why and how it is the way it is.

>>29369963
I personally havent encountered a setting like that. In all the settings i have played dwarves have dark/infrared and elves and orcs have low light.

>>29375113
I would actually go so far as to maybe consider Humans as arriving from the far away mainland, attempting to establish a beachhead.

maybe different human kingdoms having colonies on a few outlying island but having to compete with the established core of the massive archipelago.

Basically the humans would carry standard fantasy stereotypes while trying to enter the thriving naval trade system of the islands

>>29369605
>How many elves does it take to change a lamp wick?
>Just one. But in the days of the Old Kingdom a hundred servants would have changed a thousand lamp wicks at their slightest whim.

Isn't that from Babylon 5?

>>29375249
Often the volcanoes of a volcanic island create both wet and dry regions because the mountain precipitates moisture passing over it. For this reason Hawaii has all of tropical rainforests, dry forests, and savanna. Humans might settle in the sparsely occupied dry areas bringing with them both the technology of irrigation and appropriate crops.

>>29374192
oh good lord, someone saved my image! this makes me a bit proud. I drew that like nearly a year ago and never seen it since.

>>29376726
It was one of those ''Holy shit, I have the perfect image for this!'' moments, which is the whole reason I saved it in the first place.

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>>29374122

>>29369952

Huh. So that's how horseshoe crabs swim. I've always wondered.

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>>29370152
Actually no. It's valued by scientists because they have a bizarre and antiquated immune system that is perfect for detecting bacteria.

Horseshoe crabs don't have antibodies. They don't have blood cells that attack invaders. They have ambebocytes which jump onto bacteria and turn into bacterial cement, giving invaders a personal set of concrete shoes.

This means if you test your sterile shit for bacteria with a liquid solution of amebocytes, it turns into chunky semi-solid goo - immediately telling you 'this shit is tainted.'

>>29370111
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7OsRNHb7nh0

>>29375034
Thats what you get for being a fat ass in a waiting room

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>>29372399

>>29383252
Go away, questfucker.

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>>29383369

>>29383369
>>29383570
>>29383594
What quest is this? I need to know because of reasons.

>>29369446
everybody loves clams man

>>29383635
Quest? The Tikiforged and naked island elves weren't from a quest. They were from world building threads we had... shit several years ago.

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>>29383692

>>29372542
Hmmmm, what if the elves were also capable of consuming nectar as well as the fruits themselves? Perhaps as a pollinator species, they consume nectar, spread pollen, so the trees can reproduce.

Then, they eat the fruits, so that the seeds they helped create could be spread across the elven wandering range.

Thoughts? (Elves are often depicted as long and thin, as you say, to maybe climb trees better. Perhaps their tongues are also long and thin, as a hummingbird's might be?)

>>29369674
Ah, the well-hung lesbian.

>>29383635
Tikiforged aint from a quest. That tripfag runs some quest about little girl cannibals or something, though.

>>29369446
I don't know.
Then again, I also haven't been able to see why kids love Cinnamon Toast Crunch since I turned 18.

>>29369605
What do you do if an Orc attacks you with a crossbow?
>pick it up off the ground and shoot him with it

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>>29369509

>Sharkskin-wearing Pearl Diver and spear fisher Orcs that speak with a Jamaican accent.

Dis a cool ting mon. I like it a lot.

>>29383729
WHAT is it you need? Those are the two pictures I have, and the only ones I know about. This was 2009 man, most of that stuff is gone.

>>29374292
Bristly? Hardly.

You'd need very soft, porous, absorbent hair material to properly filter air. Maximal surface area per follicle. I'd imagine since hair is dead on extrusion, and couldn't branch like a living tree does (which would be more ideal), that on close inspection each hair is quite thicker than human hair, and as it lengthens, is prone to split multiple times, exposing a soft, downy core which would fray and expand as the hair aged.

The hard outer keratin would degrade rapidly, its purpose as frond support fulfilled, in order to open maximal surface area, and allow for a high turnover rate as the soft hair filled with particulates. You'd need it to be unprotected and fragile for most of its length for absorptivity and removal.

Only very high ranking dwarves, unexposed to the harsh conditions, would have truly massive beards, and they'd be fine and fragile as a cloud, all the better to show off the care and wealth needed to maintain such a delicate structure.

>>29383692
6 years ago, exactly.
When I Started coming to /tg/.

Jesus Christ, what am I doing with my life?

>>29383837
Dammit, why is all of the good shit old?

>>29383837
>>29383851
>>29383861
Oh wait, it looks like sup/tg/ is still around.
http://suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/results.html?cx=015198020234618450974%3A8xeryiujmdq&cof=FORID%3A11&q=Tikiforged&sa=Search+by+content&siteurl=suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com%2Farchive.html&ref=suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com%2Findex.html&ss=2856j2079168j13

>>29383861
Welcome to the grim darkness of the far future, anon. New shit is crap.

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>>29383738
Nah bruh, brown elves sing and dance new trees/flowers into existence, like some kinda crazy shamans and whatnot. Also, the trees they sing into existence have like, wine or napalm or stuff as nectar, depending on what the Belves need em for.

Because brown shamanistic elves who make crazy shit happening by taking crazy jungle drugs and singing and dancing like madmen.

because they're hard on the outside but soft on the inside
just like them

>>29383879

There ARE exceptions, but those tend to probe the rule.

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>>29383943

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>>29383811
>Waahg Marley

>>29384026
>Bob Waaghley.

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>>29383960
>those tend to probe the rule.
>probe the rule.
>probe

>>29384059
>>29384026
Faggots, it's Nob Marley

>>29384086
>Nob Waahgly

>>29374192

'aving a giggle m8???

>>29383861
>>29383879
>>29383960
I liked the Scraplootas, myself

>>29379592
And they're at risk for becoming endangered because Asians have apparently decided they're trendy to eat!

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>>29376090
If Humans are suppose to be the entire 'advanced 'totally not European' settlers' attempting to colonize the region, then I have an idea.

You know Easter Island, and the various Oceanian Polynesian traveling canoes? How about having them being a race of giants?

So the Easter Island heads are actually titanic in size, since they were built by Giants, and the Giants themselves build massive canoes that are almost similar in size to warships of other races?

>>29384445
Are we assuming they also have gigantic trees everywhere for them to use/replace/repair in these canoes, or do they assemble them from regular trees like people building the empire state building out of toothpicks?

(them heads is BIG, son.)

>>29384445
Holy shit I never knew they were so tall, let alone having an actual body.

Ancient stoneworkers are a fucking mystery.

>>29384445
I would rather the giants just build giant inner tubes and treat the ocean like their personal salt water pool.

Imagine being out to sea for six months, only to see a bunch of giants lounging in giant inner tubes and sharing a couple of brewskis, which are actually entire kegs of booze.

>>29384666
It was a volcanic rock that is very easy to work. You could vandalize the thing with your bare hands.

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>>29384445
>there was entire body under there the entire time
Mind officially blown

>>29385189
If you think that's mindblowing, I read an article that stipulated that they might have been wobbled into place from where they were carved all the way up on the Volcano.

>>29385503
>How'd they get it there?
>Fuck if I know. Probably rolled it.

Archaeologists.

Not even once.

>>29385503
So you're telling me that these giants, hewn from stone at the lip of a volcano, slowly marched their way down to the shore of their island to stand watch for eternity?

>>29385549
No dude, they supposedly WALKED the thing!
You know, getting something up on one corner, rotate it a bit, then let it down and do it again?

>>29385624
That's pretty much what the people who carved them were doing.
Would make for a pretty awesome festival parade; Giant black stone dudes wobbling their way down the mountain.

Now I'm just trying to remember if they intentionally buried them up to their necks, or if that was just something that happened over the eons...

>>29385712
Wouldn't be surprised if they sank.

>>29385648
Bullshit.

Coconut golem. Only logical explanation.

>>29385790
Eh, I'd think they'd fall over first...

>>29386066
Depends on how they're balanced. All I know is they look great lining islands when you're polynesia.

>>29383850
That... That sounds beautiful.

>>29384445
Is that statue grabbing it's junk?

>>29389157
You don't when you're under your covers?

>>29375615
Yes.

I regret nothing.

>>29388641
I'm glad you liked the idea.

>>29389528
I lay on my stomach, so no.

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Holy shit, this thread is amazing, I have to bump it. The world must know of this setting!

Also, think the croc folk might look a bit more like this or would they keep the short limbs of modern crocs? (Actually, I think this is a prehistoric alligator)

>>29393011
Probably either closer to a Saltwater crocodile or a thalattosuchid.

As for Kaprosuchus, it's a mahajungasuchid, meaning it's only fair distantly related to modern Crocodylia

>>29393137
Ah, right, we already discussed saltwater crocodile. The Kaprosuchus is still pretty awesome though.

>>29375113
In other races that might factor into this? It seems like a good balance as is, the only thing I could think of might be the tiki forged who would not be an independent people, but a vassal people each of the races have their own versions of.

Like the Crocs and Halflings design theirs to float, the former to double as canoes and help them carry things on land, the latter to operate on the outer hulls of ships to maintain them.

Though, it still also feels like it would be kind of camp for such a well-thought-out setting.

>>29393209
That would be way too campy. Warforged fit Eberron because they have an actual magical industrial base. They don't fit in any setting that doesn't.

>>29383810
Wow. So many of those are spot-on. Hedberg's sounds like one of his one-liners. I wouldn't be surprised if the Carlin bit was a bit he had actually done.

>>29369952
>filename
give me back my sides

>>29374652
Most awesome thing I have ever heard.

>>29379592
>They have ambebocytes which jump onto bacteria and turn into bacterial cement, giving invaders a personal set of concrete shoes.
That's cool as fuck.

>>29379592
Horseshoe Crab people are also needed in this setting.

They are weird.

Unlike their ancestors of pre-history they breed very slowly. A couple can have one offspring in 5 -10 years sort of thing. They have one egg at a time and cultivate them in rock pools. It takes a year of constant care to hatch.

They live in the sea and only come onto land to breed.

Very hardy to the point of being able to fuck up a orc's day without trying and very sad. People just get depressed being around them and they can't tell why. All attempts at communication have failed. They just stand there an look mournful.

All anyone knows of them is that every decade or so they invade the beech, breed and leave. Best to let them get on with it.

Sometimes you can hear them singing in your dreams.

>>29394601
If it weren't /tg/, that would be called Sueshit.
I mean, I'm going to call it sueshit anyways, but whatever.

>>29394601
That's fucking stupid.

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>>29394601
What?

That's like making Humanity Belka or something.

>>29369963
Stop being a pile of shit. You aren't fucking funny.

>>29396374
Upset dorfwanker detected.

>>29384086
>Nob Marley and the Waaaighers

>>29369605
>How many dwarves does it take to change a lamp wick.
>None. Dwarves aren't scared of the dark.

Not funny. Better punchline is 'none, because then nobody can see where they hide their gold.'

>>29396945
Or 'None, because they're too busy bragging about the perfection of dwarven mastercrafted lanterns to notice that it went out'

I had some thoughts on what dragons could be in this setting, considering dragons are a worldwide cultural staple.

Dragons, as a species, are the ultimate adapters. Dragons typically are hatched from clutches of eggs numbering sometimes in the hundreds. They have to be for even the eggs are most delicious and the scales of even a newly hatched dragon are considered the finest crafting material in all the islands.

While young, dragons either adapt fast or die hard. Even in clutches numbering in the hundreds, its rare that one or two dragons survive. While juvenile, the dragons look like long snakes with protrusions at some point along their body (in accordance with their habitat/type) and glimmering beautiful scales. Their mouths are filled with two sets of teeth, generally with ripping sharp teeth in the front and grinding teeth in the back. Dragons can and will eat anything they can get their mouths on.

Dragons when fully matured are all flight-capable to some degree.

But the big thing is that dragons can live and adapt to any location. Middle of the deep deep jungle? camouflaged and silent owl-like wings for ambush preditation. Under the fathoms of the ocean? Pressure resistant scales and thin bodies for quickly swimming through lava. Sky? Multiple sets of wings. In the lava? Thick scales with volcanic rock encrusted on them.

In addition, dragons can suck up their 'element' into a special organ for storage and can 'spit up' the contents as an offensive weapon. Volcanic dragons and suck and spit lava. Ocean dragons can spit pressurized blasts of water or of salt. Sky dragons essentially suck up any loose debris and blast it out like a shotgun. Jungle dragons suck up mud and dirt and mix it with a mucus-like substance to ensnare and blind prey.

What do you guys think?

>>29372542
I try incorporating a bunch of crazy flora to my worlds and i always like these themes. If you have MASSIVE fantasy flowers (that you "harvest" for nectar >implying that wouldnt yield giant fuckhuge insects to feed on the nectar), you have MASSIVE fantasy fruits from said flowers.
I would make these plants scarce, a small flowering window that might possibly be harmful to anything but pollinators, and massive nutritional value. The fact that this large fruit would have many competing animals is a given, you could even stretch things a bit further and say that the pollinators establish hives/clusters, and that Elves have the <insert adequate characteristics here> that enable them to more easily access these fruits.

Just so you guys know, this thread has been archived on sup/tg/

>>29384666
they aren't. watch this if you have a spare 4 minutes, quite educational.
http://ancientaliensdebunked.com/references-and-transcripts/easter-island/

>>29398331
the organ-vacuum thing seems like the straw that breaks the verisimilitude camel's back. Just leave them as the ubiquitous all-terrain apex predators.

>>29399485
Eh, that's fine. I just wanted to do something different than 'they can breathe fire or whatever for no reason', so that's why that organs there. Though it was less like a vaccum I suppose and more like a gullet? Man, whatever.

>>29370111
>and this is the first recorded picture of uncle sam

>>29399587
>I was raised by eagles, you know.

>>29399561
funny story about dragons and organs and fire breathing.. there was actually a pseudo-documentary on the discovery channel years and years ago about plausible scientific explanations for the "dragon" myths, most of which were pretty cool.
http://science.howstuffworks.com/science-vs-myth/strange-creatures/dragon1.htm
'Like most omnivores, a dragon is assumed to be equipped with sharp teeth for tearing meat and flat teeth for grinding plants. It might also use its flat teeth to grind rocks. Although the rocks hold little nutritive value, they would be a necessary digestive aid because they help the hydrogen-producing bacteria in the dragon's belly pulverize inedible material like bones. Birds use a similar process when they swallow rocks to help digest seeds, nuts and rodents.
For dragons, however, the process could have an incendiary side effect. When a dragon grinds large rocks into bite-sized pieces with its molars, the platinum-rich rocks leave residue on their teeth. And when the dragon releases a build-up of hydrogen byproduct produced during digestion, and when the gas mixes with oxygen in the air, the platinum residue acts as an ignition switch. Voila! Fire spews, at will, from the dragon's mouth.'
(hydrogen gas accumulated in a 'hydrogen bladder' inside would also aid in providing lift, serving as a sort of swim bladder for flight)

>>29369760

Prrrrreeeretty sure the primary function of the wings is flight, chump.

>>29369963
>Elves with darkvision
>Not orcs and dwarves

I... I think it's your elf-wank that's showing, anon.

>>29371652
>That's mead

Fuck no. Mead isn't distilled. I don't know what the fuck a distilled honey beverage would be called, but it's not mead. That's like calling scotch beer because they're both made of barley.

>>29383740
you mean, that isn't part of a straight porn where she constricts a well-hung man's entire penis with her tongue?

fuck this gay earth

>>29400914
you'd get what you'd get if you distilled mead? probably something similar in taste/texture to vodka, but with another name.

>this thread
I can't be an Orc, because I'm allergic to shellfish. This makes me sad.

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one last bump for the night, hopefully up tomorrow morning.

>>29369674
Sauce on that?

>>29396322
>>Humans are fantasy Belka

I dunno about you, but I like this idea.

>>29394601
I know I am way late to the party, but this is dumb as fuck. It doesn't even add anything to the setting.

Somebody archive this.

>>29405488

this:
>>29398989

>>29405488
>>29405590
Also foolz.us archives everything automatically.

>>29404774
Larkin Love; half woman, half lizard, all boner confusing.

>>29400666
That's not the only, or the even first, source for attempts at a scientific explanation for dragons. someone wrote a book called 'flight of dragons' in the 70s that pretty much say the same thing, dragons being rock eating hydrogen blimps.
Which, as an aside, was part of the inspiritaion, along with a novel called the 'dragon and the george,' for what is, in my opinion, one of, if not the, greatest fantasy films ever made, the criminally obscure Rankin/Bass animation 'the flight of dragons.'

>>29400921
Well almost. She does suck a mean cock in that vid.

The thread is archived here, if you want to upvote it:
http://suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/archive.html?tags=crocs

>>29410634
i never realized so much of the archive is quest threads..

>>29408526
yup, that's definitely a sweet movie that could do well with a massive $100m budget makeover.

>>29369873
>>29369907
>>29369952
http://io9.com/happy-monday-have-some-nightmare-fuel-1484058929/@jesusdiaz
"These are the androconial organs, which male moths use to release pheromones and attract females. In this species, the organ consists of inflatable tubes at the tip of the abdomen."

>>29412357
>i never realized so much of the archive is quest threads..
That's a direct consequence of the quest format requiring an archive to catch up new players or people who missed sessions. The archive would be greatly improved by having a single button you could toggle to filter everything that does/doesn't have the 'quest' tag. That would make working your way through the archives so much easier for both of the main types of users.

>>29412445
The suptg archives DOES have that option, dunkass.

>>29412459
...well shit, I never noticed that function before! Good job, me, for suggesting a function that someone smarter added already.

>>29412357
Suptg is skewed. It doesn't archive everything, it's not Foolz. If suptg were like foolz, people would be complaining about all the redundant 40k threads and meaningless edition wars.
Instead, it only archives what people want to be archived, and quest threads with new content are more worthy of archival than 40k general #8472.

>>29370151
As freaky as this looks, it must feel great for the little... whatever that is.

>>29412585
Spider.

>>29384121
Well then >>29412159

loving the Croc people. Might just have to steal them.

Only build boats to haul around the stuff they trade. They sleep face down in the sea because the salt smells like flowers to them.

They always grin becasue that s the shape their head are. They would probably be grinning anyway because they tend to be a cheerful people.

They love orcish honey-rum.

The island chains are so far from 'civilized' lands that they are the only link between the mainland and the islands for the rum exports.

This
>>29374401

Is a shark-ogre. They are a solitary and grumpy people with atrocious table manners. Will lift heavy objects for red meat. Some of the islands have pigs and they are delicious and the sharks can't hunt for shit on land and that makes them sad.

>>29412900
>orcish honey-rum
No, it's the elves that have the honey. The orcs are way too built around the products of the coast and the sea to be able to manage inland apiaries in what should be elven territories.

And rum has to be made of sugar cane/molasses.

Rum is probably a byproduct of the colonialist Egyptian/Persian/Indian cradle-of-humanity settlers coming in and enslaving halflings to cut down the jungles and serve as labor on their plantations.

>>29412943
I am having this happen as well.

Then the shark-ogres are told no one will mind if the eat the flesh of slavers.

As slavery is illegal in [Insert country name here] at this time they were doing it officially in secret. They can't call for military assistance. As black-powder weapons aren't a thing yet it all arrows and axes. The shark-ogres have tough skin and can rip a human in half. They had fun but then went back to being grumpy because thats what they are good at.

>>29413009
In fact, I think it would be neat if all of the humans are Bronze Age in terms of tech, which is still light years ahead of everyone other than the dwarves. The dwarves, though, will be using steel, and experimenting with stranger metals only their deep mines can access. It provides a real justification for both why the human military machine is a big deal (metal swords and shields, man!) and how the dwarves have the best craftsmanship and metallurgy. So, these human slave plantations will be less like the plantations of Brazil, Jamaica, and the American South. They'll be much more like the teams of slaves used in Babylon, Assyria, and Egypt as disposable labor forces. This time, though, it will be humans towering over halflings as they issue orders and crack their whips.

We haven't properly discussed Halflings yet. Are they an example of island dwarfism, like Homo floresiensis? Are they adept tree climbers of proportions similar to bonobos or chimpanzees? Are they recent immigrants? Are they imported slaves?

>>29413363
Yeah, they're an example of island dwarfism. While orcs live on the coasts to fish and dive deep, and elves tend to live on rich mountain faces to grow their fruit trees and cultivate their bees among fields of wild flowers, and dwarves live near the rocky, dust-choked calderas of the volcanos, mining, building, and using magma tubes, halflings live in the jungles and lowlands.

The haflings build their cities up in the trees to sleep safe from the predators of the ground and safe from the occasional flooding of storms and monsoons. They hunt wild pigs and birds, and wear raw hides, leathers, and colorful feathers. They trade in meat, bone, pelts, and colorful feathers for all manner of goods from the others, and probably have a special fondness for when a croc is willing to drag his canoe of goods up to their shanty towns, or when one is already among the orcs when they go to the coast.

The humans, though, fell the jungles for lumber and farmland. They enslave the native halflings, who are small, defenseless, and need little food or space, yet can do so much skilled work relative to their needs. The halflings resist eagerly, burning down human farmhouses and using poison darts, but the humans have bronze spears and crossbows made using bronze leaf springs. There's only so much they can do without help, and it's so hard to organize any proper alliance of resistance beyond simple trading.

Especially when others want the humans' finished goods.

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>>29413469
And this is where the shark-ogres come in.

Humans don't have anything they want or need. Except red meat.

The half-lings have always gotten on well with the shark-ogres in the past. Sharkies do the heavy lifting and get paid in pork. Sharkies are happy when they get pork. Now humans come and fuck up their deal and give hurties to their little-friends and that makes them grumpy. They are very good at being grumpy.

They are also very good at violence and the two seem to go hand in hand.

Very difficult to stop a shark-ogre when they are enjoying a good grump. Stuck full of arrows like a hedgehog and they barely slow down.

>>29413469
>>29413577
>halflings live in jungle trees
>sharks live on coast
>both trade with each other and are friends
>neither like humans fucking things up
Seems to me like you just remade the relationship between orcs and elves but reolaced them with sharks n halflings.

>>29413614
Different islands.

Can mix and match. On some its orcs and half-lings. On some its elves and sharks.

Elves tend to be found on the volcanic islands as their weird giant flowers grow better in the nearly toxic mineral rich soil. Halflings tend to be found on the larger islands without volcanoes.

Orcs tend to like rocky beaches because the shell fish are more numerous and orcs like clams. Sharks tend to be found on islands with sandy beaches because you get more seals on them.

There are exceptions and there are conflicts and on some of the larger islands you might find all of them.

>>29412518
>8472
I saw that, anan.

>>29369487
Hahaha, nice.

>>29370041
Plus, they untap for just a blue mana. Combos with loads of stuff.

>>29413708
Sounds legit to me.

What islands would be major hubs to all the races?

>>29415676
Big ones with extremely diverse geography? It's not like we have a map or something to work off of.

>>29415758
Maybe we should. Gasp!

>>29415676
>>29415758

Pulling this out my ass. If anyone knows more about sailing routes etc please correct me.

Each culture would try and explore beyond their island. Some would bump into home island of another culture, or this "Hub island". Firstly, as mentioned, a diverse biome. Perhapes this is a large island, with other islands being around half or quarter in size. In terms of general shape, keep in mind how islands are formed breaking off continents. Imagine a mondo big island, then break it up a bit more, wear away the edges, and you have your archipelago. Unless you have a small planet, you won't get snow-y caps or a dramatic change in biomes (maybe some mountains though), but try looking at the differences in real life archipelagos and islands from their most northern and southern points (New Zealand, Japan, Hawaii).

>>29416130

In addition, keep in mind where storms are. This needs some weather knowledge (sorry I can't help you) but what areas of sea are impassable (due to shallow water, storms, or coral)? This could also affect who met who when (and also surprise players when steam engines are invented to fuck the whole thing. Full scale invasion, etc)

The rest you'll need other anons to help with and normal world building stuff (how cultures interact, natural resources and how cultures found/used them if at all, religions, etc)

>>29416130
Depends on how large the island chain is, really. Japan starts in the snowy north (Hokkaido) and their southernmost islands are more or less tropical.

Not saying we absolutely need a considerable variation in climate from island to island, just that it's possible. I'm going to have one myself in my own thing that I'm looting this for, but that's partially due to a Wind Waker/Anno 2070-ish "Shit got fucked, the world's half drowned" backstory.

>>29416405

Sweet. Run free with it then. Just keep in mind most of those island used to be mountains (so any old ruins/artifacts would be from mountain cultures). Thinking about that, could there be sub-terranian places from mines with air pockets in them?

>>29416724
That had already crossed my mind, yeah. Old mines, partially-submerged mountain fortresses, all sorts of fun things like that.

>>29415758
>>29415939

Do we have an anon following this thread with mapmaking skills?

because mine are subpar

>>29417217
/tg/ has some, hopefully by keeping the thread up, one will pay attention.

>>29416899
>>29416724
This idea makes the possibility of adding some 'is this world post-apoc' adventure module kind of things...well possible.

>>29416130
Eh. We can look to the real world for island culture spread, and there's no 'hub island.' There aren't civilizations in contact with other tribes on other islands. They're new tribes descended from other ones, but fundamentally new.

Basically, if you don't live on their island or less than one day by canoe away, you're a strange/foreigner/outsider. That's the way it works until you develop the sailboat - unless you're a croc, and can therefore metabolize salt water. So, the halfling cultures that have sailboats and the humans that have sailing ships are the only ones that really have multi-island or trans-island cultural buildup. Everywhere else is just 'this is what tribes of X tend to be like.'

>>29417845
Then why does the party, in theory, join together to do something?

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Dunno about the shark-ogre boner that seems to be pushing them into forming the exact same relationship with halfings that orcs and elves already had. Much preferred it when the halflings were a lot more like pic related. Filipinos that had the misfortune of being fantastic sailors and closest to the first human sailors to reach the archipelago. They were technically enslaved and their islands made colonies of the humans, though as it always is the relationship is more complex than that. They converted to the humans' religion and were technically members of the human state, but revolted almost on a decade-basis against the heirachy imposed upon them.

Their lives are a on the whole safer and more stable than many of the islanders, though it comes at a cost of liberty which they slowly accrue and lose depending on how this decade's revolution went. Especially in the navy, the lines between racism and camaraderie blur, with many captains treating their halfling hands better than their human ones, simply because the little people are so good at what they do.

Add in a healthy dose of Filipino martial arts, from single-stick to knife-fighting. Who doesn't love halfling sailors down in port-side pubs getting into Eskrima fights in back alleys for honor and a bit of extra money to supplement wages?

>>29374401
>Sharks
>Evil

I now need to go get an older post I made on this here.

>>29418383
>Humans are kidnapping our halfling trading partners, including a one specific person who every member of the party is personally friends with as a result of multiple tribal meetings
>The elves have warned that the volcano god is growing angry; delve into ancient ruins and tombs to find a way to supplicate him
>A fleet of Halfling ships arrived on the shores last night, spreading tales of their home island sinking; find out why it happened, whether your home is at risk, and stop it if it is
>You are a crew of human traders whose ship was sunk by a reef; you just washed ashore on an island populated by scary-looking savage rages who speak heathen tongues; survive
All kinds of reasons.

>>29418430
I love your halflings more than the others

>>29418493
Here it is.
>Sharks
>Evil

Nigga they be the moe-blobs of the sea.

See, dey ain't got much in their head, and they have poor eyesight, so when they see something in the water that they smell it's bleeding and assume it's food, but just to be sure they "Taste" it.

But when you have multiple rows of teeth, a vice jaw full of bara strength, the tasting tends to kill your assumed meal, and then there's the intelligence thing so you might forget you're tasting and think your eating or just chew constantly, so the bad taste is what sends you off.

Then there's the fact that Sharks can be hypnotized, controlled and ridden (Shark mounts fuck yeah) just by scratching their noses are placing your hands around their heads.

Suffice to say, they just look menacing as fuck, they won't eat you unless they're really freaking dumb.

>>29418383
Well, look back to the Micronesians and Maori. Even when peoples were spread out over islands, they still kept in loose contact and you can very easily hand clan-meets occuring. And if you want to add to the fantasy, have them go down every three years at the island of reefs in the middle of Rokoto Island and the Isle of Spirits, when it rises from the sea for a day and a night. Just keep in mind that each race is essentially a bunch of island-based sub-factions or clans. With crocs and humans being a notable exception, possibly halfings as well.

>>29418527
Thankee. It also helps that halflings would be amazingly build for Eskrima since it develops much for the same reason halfings would develop their own martial arts. From wiki, "he intrinsic need for self-preservation was the genesis of these systems. Throughout the ages, invaders and evolving local conflict imposed new dynamics for combat in the islands now making up the Philippines. The Filipino people developed battle skills as a direct result of an appreciation of their ever-changing circumstances. They learned often out of necessity how to prioritize, allocate and use common resources in combative situations. Filipinos have been heavily influenced by a phenomenon of cultural and linguistic mixture. Some of the specific mechanisms responsible for cultural and martial change extended from phenomena such as war, political and social systems, technology, trade and of course, simple practicality."

Halflings aren't really built for jungle-life but they are built for ships and rigging.

>>29418430
This. 100% this. This is what the inland-dwelling/naval-port-having hunter/trader halflings would be like. With the added advantage of taking up very little space and very little food. They're the perfect sailors/slaves/subsistence hunter-gatherers/knife fighting street punks.

>>29418565
Dolphins are malevolent hyper-intelligent gang rapist sadists that if they got lucky in evolution would give the creator races a run for their money in dominion of the world.

To top that off it is reported that Dolphins fight and kill sharks also, resulting in many a report of Dolphins saving people fro shark attacks.

Those poor people had no idea the sharks were trying to save them.

This world need Sea Druids.

Back in prehistoric times, there existed a super powerful shark No it isn't a Megladon that beat the shit out of massive sea creatures 100 times it's size by propelling itself like a rocket into it's target's gut causing it to FUCKING RUPTURE, then the shark would take it's fill from inside out.

Suffice to say, we only have hints of it's existence, and not a full blown skeleton.

It's supposedly related to goblin and hammerhead sharks.

DO NOT Google Goblin shark man.

>>29418621
Goblin Sharks, you say?

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>>29418565
I wouldn't save evil, so much as Neutral Hungry. I'm even happy calling them shark-ogres, because that's effectively what they represent in the sea. Something that's pretty goddamn stupid and pretty goddamn vicious. They don't think so much as feel, and they're by no means a major race of the islands so much as a minor and deadly force. Humans likely hunt them much like human kingdoms in tradition settings hunt orcs and ogres, while I could see the Maori orcs seeing killing one as a true test of a man's power, courage, and skill.

But they're not the halflings kawaii buddy-sharks.

>>29418655
Image swap bug?

>>29418621
>Dolphins are malevolent hyper-intelligent gang rapist sadists that if they got lucky in evolution would give the creator races a run for their money in dominion of the world.

This is an internet joke that's ran long enough for people to consider it a fact.

Dolphins aren't malevolent, nor are they gang rapist sadists - at least - not in the "ingrained into their psyche" sense like ducks (where they *evolved* to be ideal in rape.) There are dickish dolphins yes, but the fact is they're generally fun, goofy creatures to be around.

>>29418685
Yes, although the title is surprisingly appropriate. Hopefully, I have just ruined somebody's boner on /gif/.

>>29418685

Somewhere, a guy posting interracial big-dick porn got a terror of the sea instead.

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>>29418669
also, dem ampullae of lorenzini. They can *feel* your heartbeat in the water. (probably not on land, unless they were touching you)

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>>29418655
This is what I meant to post.

>>29418751
Exactly. The ability to smell blood on the water, to feel their prey's heartbeat. Sharks are a fantastic example of a brutish monster race, which is actually kinda nice because we've already gotten an understanding and sensible-by-feature interpretation of the Big Five: humans, dwarves, halfings, orcs, elves.

Oh, might as well name up if we're gonna keep on buildings and creating, so as to not get confused as to who's who. Welcome to an example of a halfling name.

Here's a question. What different "tribes" of humans do we want to have? Perhaps one that's been in one side of the archipelago for a while, inspired by Muslim traders while the more brash and aggressive faction slamming its way in represents the Western colonization of South-East Asia? I remember we were thinking about an Egyptian-esque human people that lives in river deltas on some of the islands, too.

>>29418717
>>This is an internet joke that's ran long enough for people to consider it a fact.
>BACON DWARF MANLINESS DOLPHIN-RAPE
They were all kinda funny at one point, but people shit at humour latched on to them for a cheap laugh. Nearly everybody is shit at humour, so lots and lots of people latched on to them and now through over-saturation and people's limitless capacity for retardedness, there's only boring and unfunny stupidity.

>>29418880
The idea behind the humans is that they're all representative of distant bronze-age 'cradle of civilization' type cultures. Egyptians, Mesopotamians, Indus River Valley people, and so on. We're talking pre-Hellenic-Greece here.

So, WAY before Islam, in other words. Dwarves having steel instead of bronze is going to be the iconic example of why, in this setting, dwarves are renowned for their metallurgy and craftsmanship.

>>29418993
This makes me sad for the lack of truly impressive ships from the Age of Sail, from clippers to galleons.

>>29418993
i feel like that's a needlessly large gap. Why not have humans established as Roman peoples with basic military technology and rudimentary agricultural understanding (e.g. biennial crop rotation), and Dwarves as late-middle ages peoples with a particular cultural/evolutionary focus on metallurgy for the purposes of offence/defence for <insert reason here> (e.g. warmongering in the past, close proximity to another race necessitating an early arms race?)

>>29418898

Exactly.

The bacon example you gave perfectly reflects the problem. People used to profess their love for bacon because they loved it, but then people picked up on the humor value of "add bacon to everything" and now look where we are; Think-Geek sells bacon shampoo and some of the more popular how-to-cook vids out there relate to copious amounts of bacon.

The "step on lego" joke is going the same way.

>>29419125
i mean Roman-era or Roman-like. Not exactly Roman.
Although when in doubt, steal from history eh?

>>29419125
Because early Cradle of Civilization cultures were cool as shit but about as poorly-represented in settings as island people are?

>>29413577
I think it'd more come down to the fact that humans are actually edible size and halflings are more useful as traders. Also humans ALWAYS try and ready to attack sharks on sight after the first few attacks.

>>29419125
>>29419145
Yeah, this I can get behind. Even with the possibility of one early middle-age kingdom of humans.

>>29419153
I don't see why you have to limit portions of the civilization solely to keep the entire setting about poorly-represented ideas. The aim isn't to create a "under-represented, the setting." It came out of a desire to see races features explained as products of their environments and habitats, which just so happened to get set in the microcosm of an island chain.

Also, note that island communities like this tend to be insular in regards to the outside world often times no because of choice so much as a lack of true sea-faring vessels. The crocs avoid this by being crocs, but the entire setting of tribal islanders can rather easily be placed in the middle of a time-frame from Ancient Egypt all the way to the 1800's.

>>29419299
>I don't see why you have to limit portions of the civilization solely to keep the entire setting about poorly-represented ideas. The aim isn't to create a "under-represented, the setting." It came out of a desire to see races features explained as products of their environments and habitats, which just so happened to get set in the microcosm of an island chain.
>
>Also, note that island communities like this tend to be insular in regards to the outside world often times no because of choice so much as a lack of true sea-faring vessels. The crocs avoid this by being crocs, but the entire setting of tribal islanders can rather easily be placed in the middle of a time-frame from Ancient Egypt all the way to the 1800's.

You know what? All of that is 100% fair. It would make a lot more sense to have the Human influence be vaguely Chinese, Muslim, and maybe Portuguese. At least in terms of themes and aesthetics.

>>29419360
And even vaguely Hindu. And if we're talking about under-represented, I don't think I've seen all that much about seafaring China, Muslim traders, or Buddhist kingdoms in many settings either.

>Why the fuck is this thread so popul-
>Shark ogres?

Oh looks like I forgot what board I was on again.

>>29419409
Obviously they wouldn't be literally Chinese/Muslim/Hindu/whatever. They would be silk-clad bureaucrats for foreign empires. Practitioners of exotic desert faiths with great riches and strange and confusing codes of honor and hospitality. And so on, and so forth.

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>>29419409
>>29419360
>>29419299
http://1d4chan.org/wiki/Setting:Golden_Archipelago

some archipelago setting that an anon in an island worldbuilding thread posted.
Not sure if the island thread was ever archived, but i saved a copy of it. there was some good stuff. i'll try screenshotting some of it.

>>29419489
you being sarcastic mate? u 'avin a giggle at the expense of our shark ogres mate?

>>29419522
Oh yeah, no argument there. Not saying direct imports, but borrowing from the themes, ideals, and motiffs of those peoples. And don't forget to include the jungle-dwelling men of a thousand kingdoms who worship great beast gods that walk the earth in a thousand myriad forms.

>>29419546
To be fair, shark-ogres the way they were initially presented were pretty fucking dumb.

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An old of South-East Asia. Behold, a fuckton of islands.

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>>29419594
i know lol, just a joke. I like grounding my fantasy races in a little coat of realism, and shark-ogres stretch the versimilitude a little bit too far for me.
Still scary as fuck to think about sharks with legs though.

>>29419594
>Oh yeah, no argument there. Not saying direct imports, but borrowing from the themes, ideals, and motiffs of those peoples. And don't forget to include the jungle-dwelling men of a thousand kingdoms who worship great beast gods that walk the earth in a thousand myriad forms.

For sure. I kind of want to bring in the Portuguese as a minor but excessively-foreign presence, but I'm not sure what a good method of that is.

>>29419680
seafaring empire from <across the pond> on a mainland, that only recently made contact and has tried to exert it's influence and failed? (think of the historical example of the portuguese and japan)

>>29419680
Well, have them be the relative new kids on the block. The newest arrival to the islands and they only share a language with the not-Muslims. Perhaps mix them a bit with British and Dutch colonists as well, giving them even more bizarre clothing and habits.

If no Brits, am I going to have to change my halfling name?

>>29419729
Yeah, that makes sense. Have them have a weird mix of vaguely Romantic and vaguely Germanic language, have even the darkest of them be weirdly pale to 100% of the other ethnicities and races. Strangely thick, simple, drably-coloured, and full-body clothing made of coarse fabrics.

And not even remotely the same level of infrastructural support or numbers that the other human ethnicities have. The new kids on the block whose only real advantage is how foreign and alien they are.

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>>29419664
We still are going to have sharks with legs, mate. Dunno about whether they'd have arms or not. The appearance of that massive fin on the water sends orcs into a frenzy to prove themselves -- while also likely losing more than a few tribesman in the bloody process -- while halflings let out cries, warning those cleaning the hull of human ships to come aboard and crocs close their eyes and still their heart-beats to a near comatose state to float by undetected.

>>29419898
Well, that and the fact they come from a small land, split between warring kings. They have the strictly-regimented routines of a people who've known war in equal amounts to peace.

>>29419546
I was more referring to /tg/'s magical ability to derail so hard it becomes productive. Look at the post that started this.


Anyone have the cap of the thread where the OP is a sexy Tyranid, but the last few posts are about rice and nuclear fission?

>>29398331
Dragons could be aquatic beasts in this setting. Their wings have long since been adapted into large fins, allowing them unmatched speed in the water.

>>29421023
Or albatrosses and frigate bird things.

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What about magic?

>>29421123
Or Valoo, roosting in a caldera that hosts a dwarven city as well.

>>29421123
I like that a lot better. Reminds me of Wind Waker.

Dragons being fuckhuge tropical birds is something you don't really see. Straying from the lizard thing, i mean.

>>29419664
I believe those are called Bulettes...

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>>29421231

Meant to post this

>>29421186
Probably ritualistic or crafting alone. Maybe the foreign humans have some more 'traditional' magic but in order to not shit stomp everything, there'd have to be limits on that.

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>>29421231

>>29421186
Usually savage and primal. See the mention above of elven dances, massive gatherings of song and dance that change the world with the combination of their wills and that of their ancestors who ring them in their performance.

Orcs with magic tattoos that I can't help but get reminded of Farcry 3 and Mark of the Ninja by. A mixture of squid ink, strange toxic plants, and other substances.

The mystic desert traders whose mystics channel the djinn and spirits of the desert. The silk-clad bureaucrats who gain great power from alqhemy and meditation, while beseeching long dead ancestors for advice in their current actions. The jungle lords who praise the thousand names of God, their hands and bodies contorting in physical prayers as their bodies grow the claws of the Aspect of the Destroyer or the healing breathe of the Aspect of the Preserver.

>>29421023
>>29421123
This setting is TAILOR MADE to let dragons live in the caldera of volcanos, and you want to have them live out through the open sea? You just went full retard.

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>>29421400
We can have more than one type of dragon

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>>29421433
Also, I feel we need peacocks.

>>29421400
I wouldn't say full retard. We could easily have dragons basically represent patrons of the elements, much like chromatics currently do. You'd have the great serpentine dragons that could grapple and tear apart ships with their scaled coils, the dangerous and temperamental dragons that live deep in the jungles of haunted islands covered in vibrant plumage, and the fire-breathing protectors of high mountains and smoking calderas.

>>29421459
Peacock + Bird of Paradise

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>>29421459
Holy shit I had no idea peacocks could fly.

Just look how fucking majestic this is.

Nigga that shit is straight up magical

>>29421549
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=h0Gr_0cHlpM
Imagine how fucking terrifying this would be if it was coming at you.

>>29421647
>"HO-OH, GET OFF MY LAWN"

>>29370041
Atlas Moth in case any of you were wondering

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>>29421459

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>>29421729
>>29421647
but seriously though, that would be pretty majestic and terrifying if it was a dragon-peacock hybrid.

>>29421935
Sounds legit. MAgic death birds

>>29421935
link to the rest of the mayan-ified pokemon:
http://www.buzzfeed.com/donnad/pokemon-reimagined-as-mayan-gods

not even a huge pokemon fan, but these are pretty sweet.

>>29370041
Holy shit, that's adorable.

>>29421988
A lot of those would be pretty jammin' dragons. All of the birds, Gyrados, Charizard.

>>29369674
Am I on /d/ again ?

>>29421491
Water dragons swimming through reefs, fire dragons nesting in ancient volcanoes and calderas, forest dragons in the ancient jungles, sky dragons soaring over the oceans, earth dragons digging tunnels between islands

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>>29422121
http://www.smosh.com/smosh-pit/photos/24-girls-freaky-long-tongues
>nightmare fuel

completely off-topic, i know, dumping a little thread-related art as penance.

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>>29422399

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>>29422481

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>>29422525

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>>29422559
i suppose this is a picture, not technically art, but it still fits with the theme i feel.

>>29370050
... Are Orcs Klingons?

>>29422660
Sometimes.

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>>29422600
have i atoned yet? or should i rustle up some more?

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>>29422714

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>>29422750