In the last thread our brave Orcy scouts decided to try and capture some unicorns they came across, so lets see how that turns out.Having decided on attempting to capture a unicorn or two, the scouts gather together to come up with a planA. Offer apples and lasso them?B. Have some Orcs circle around and flush them out towards the rest of the band?C. Charge in and try to capture the foal?D. Other?
Rolled 13>>29306362>D.Raep Unicorns
Rolled 24>>29306362A. Offer them Apples and lasso them
>>29306362Let me dust off my Unicorn lore...Do we have a female amongst our scouts? If so, have her approach with apples. Otherwise, be gentle and approach unarmed, offering apples. I doubt it's gonna work out anyways, but whatever, the horde has spoken
>>29306362Nice thread so far, keep up the good work.>Lurking
>>29306362A. We need their horns for magic experiments.
>>29306461Second
Our stats so far>Population: 25 male orcs and 20 females>Specialists: Three Earth Seers>Tech: steel axes, steel shields, steel tools, forge, pulleys, horn bows>Magic: Earth Sense, village bound Earth Elementals>Resources: Ponies, yaks, apple orchards, green nuts, stone, refined silver ore, refined iron ore, coal, steel>Food: Strained>Morale: Good>Training: Mounted Archery>Village: Basic stone buildings and underground stronghold>Fortifications: Mortared stone walls with wood gatesWe have alright relations with halflings living in a walled city to the east of us, on the plains. And we know of lizardmen living in a swamp to the south east and humans living on a lake island to the north east of us.
>>29306461
We have no way of capturing all three AND transporting them home. I say C, rush the foal and use if for bartering purposes. Maybe even raise it as a mount for our great leader?In either case, if the parents attack, aim to wound, not to kill. Maybe if we're lucky we can get an extra horn or two out of this.
Rolled 94>>29306362See last thread for the answer. >crazy. orc. haka. "DOES THIS DANCE PLEASE YOU NOBLE BEAST, DOES THIS PLEASE YOU?!?"
>>29306535>Food: StrainedWe really need to fix that quick, before the moral drops
>>29306620There has been talk of an apple orchard back in the village
>>29306592The bard strikes again. I'll pull my original suggestion (>>29306461) in the face of this glorious roll>>29306620We started our orchard before we sent out the scouts, did we not?
>>29306592Your dice god has spoken! OBEY!
>>29306592Fuckin' Brogluk, always rolling good on improbable shit. This, then.
>>29306592By Beogh, you're good at rolling.
>>29306592You god damn faggot
Good lord, the Gay Orc strikes again. And for this asking, we have an apple orchard in the works, although it may take a bit of time for it to stabilize our food stores.While the rest of the scouts debate on how to tackle this situation, one brave orc strides out into the clearing, chest puffed out and head held high.The unicorns look up and seem ready to bolt...Before the Orc breaks into a dance.A vivid display of passion and and emotion, the noble beasts are held in trance as the Orc dances, and even his companions stop their bickering and proceed to stare in awe.Finally, the Orc comes to a stop, posing before the unicorns and saying.>DOES THIS DANCE PLEASE YOU NOBLE BEAST, DOES THIS PLEASE YOU?!?
Rolled 76>>29306592Glorious. I'm pull my vote of A here >>29306454 and voting for this.
>>29306854The suspense is fucking killing me
>>29306854The horned creatures continue to stare, before the largest of the adults, most likely the male, strides towards the Orc and kneels before him, almost as if he is offering to let the Orc mount himA. MOUNT THAT FUCKERB. Approach it, but do nothing else yet.C. Other
Rolled 88>>29306854>>29306953Good lord, my sides.A! MOUNT IT LIKE A MAN!
>>29306854Fuck the sixth grade spelling contest, THIS is now the proudest moment of my life. ;v;
>>29306953Mount that fucker. Try and get the others to follow you back to the mountain homes.
>>29306953Mount it, of course
>>29306953A. we've gone this far let's see where this takes us
>>29306953Gay orc-mounting incoming!
>>29306953C.Invite the unicorn to rise, for the orcs are not their masters, but their equals.Orcs and unicorns are now allies, unicorn herd returns to village with orcs as honored brethren.
>>29307013>Orcs riding to war on UnicornsYou've been planning on turning us into the most FABULOUS orc tribe, haven't you?
>>29307068Let's make dancing a pre-fight and pre-everything tradition, too. To honour this one brave and skillful orc.http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=B-Jf8zbM76Y
>>29307068
I just want to let you guys know that I'm laughing for real right now. God, my poor sides.The fabulous Orc decides that since he's come this far, he might as well go all the way. He walks up to the majestic beast and mounts it with one fluid movement, the unicorn rising up and seeming to accept him as its master.It then proceeds to make a circuit around the clearing, the female and the child following along behind it...And the other Orcs cheering and clapping in the background of the forest.And maybe...Just maybe...There's a rainbow spread out in the sky above them.
>>29307201Ask if they will accept to live with us in the village.
>>29307201That orc's name?>Brogluk
>>29307201We should send the fabulous orc to bring our new friends back to the village, with honors for his achievements, then have the rest of the scouts keep looking for a viable food source in the west woods.
>>29307201Im drawfagging this as soon as i get back on base.
>>29307332I've been lurking this entire time, felt the need to pay homage to the Orcish incarnation of Freddie Mercury
Attempts at communicating with the unicorns seem to be successful, although incapable of speaking they seem to understand the Orcs well enough.They indicate their willingness to live in the valley with your village by nodding their heads up and down, and with the now legendary gay Orc proceed to head back there as the others continue to explore the forest.A.Go NorthB. Go SouthC. Go West
>>29307201Time to return to our village and have an orchard constructed for our unicorns. I don't think we can feed them pony-flesh.
>>29307201Promote that orc to either beast master or head diplomat.Give him some fab clothing too.
>>29307450Go further west.
>>29307413lol listening to Queen now...
>>29307450C. Go west, my child.
>>29307450A, scout the cold north
Rolled 29>>29307450My sides hurt so much right now.Let's go North.
West yes
>>29307450West. We have unicorns, but still lack food.>>29307484Head Diplomat for sure. He has balls of steel and he knows what he wants and how to get it. I love it.
This quest is killing me. Damn.
Give gay Orc title of beast master and fab clothing
Back at the village, the FABULOUS Gay Orc is showered with praise and adoration, and in honor of his daring feat is granted the title of Grand Diplomat. Treating with other races will go easier if he is present.>Obtained Specialist: Grand DiplomatThe Unicorns settle down in the valley near the village, but have little desire to live within its walls for now.As for our remaining scouts, they continue going west into more forest, the trees becoming larger and closer together, beginning to block out the light...A. Continue onwardB. Turn backC. Other
>>29307729A.We still need food, and it needs to be soon. Can't give up now.
Rolled 77>>2930772I think we should press forward. Orc aren't afraid of the dark!
>>29307729AAs for the unicorns, treat them well, feed them, wait till they decide to join us.
>>29307729Do these orcs hve good darkvision? Either way, press on.
>>29307775Second
>>29307729B. i'm leaning toward turning back, I feel like we're so far out that a food source all the way out here would do little good to a growing stronghold back home. maybe our halfling friends have some high yield crops theyd be willing to trade us?
>>29307729A. what could go wrong?
>>29307878Tree snakes, that's what.
Our Orcs can see better than humans in the dark, but don't have fully fledged dark vision.Back at home the unicorns are being taken care of, and in time they may decide to move in with us. Mister Pickaxe is also getting a little on the years now and as a result has selected a young female orc to be his heir, the two of them spending large amount of times in his quarters.As for our scouts, they press onward despite the glowing gloom, but before long the sound of bowstrings can be heard as arrows come flying out of the trees, bringing down one Orc and injuring another.>-1 Male OrcA. Locate the attackersB. Flee.C. Other
>>29307998>B. Flee.
>>29307998covering fire with bows and get into some fucking cover, don't rush forward into an ambush. head count? how many scouts do we have out here?
Rolled 77>>29307998Normally I'd suggest killing them all, but we're looking for food, not war. FLEE, DAMN YOU!
>>29308067The party originally consisted of 6 Orcs, 4 males and 2 females.The Gay Orc returned home with the unicorns, we just lost one, and another was injured, so that leaves 3 orcs that can fight.
>>29307998B
>>29308129Sounds like here be elves. Run for cover.
>>29307998B. flee! We will return for vengeance once the horde war machine is up an running
>>29308129Get the fuck out of there!
>>29308129yeeeeaahh, we're gonna want to jet on this one. scouts' first job is to get the information back into the boss's hands after all, and we need to know something's hunting orcs out here. controlled retreat!
The remaining scouts choose to flee, leaving the dead and injured Orcs behind along with their mounts. A harsh price to pay, but better than losing the entire party.Whoever the attackers were they seem content to just drive you off and there are no further attacks for now.Your scouts return to the village to find that the apple orchard has been a success, and the food supply should stabilize soon. However, if you plan to do any more growing, then more food will have to be located.A.ExploreB.TechC.BreedD.MagicF.Other
>>29308285We need to focus on training a Shaman in my opinion.
Rolled 69>>29308285B. Let's develop some armor for our warriors.
>>29308285This exercise should have been enough to convice us to finally get some armor going, so I say B: research armorsmithing
>>29308285Let's get some armour! Also, send our diplomat with a couple of guards to negotiate food trades with the halflings. They might know about the elves, too.
>>29308285A. we still need food, go a tad bit south
>>29308285>>29308336>>29308337agreed, develop some armor, protect the vitals with steel but keep it loose around the joints for riding and shooting. >>29308362also this!
>>29308362second
Remember guys, orcs have an affinity towards a certain type of magic, doesn't mean developing another is impossible.>>29308362Thirded, but i'd rather avoid depending on the little ones.
>>29308374>protect the vitals with steel but keep it loose around the joints for riding and shooting.RINGMAIL AND BOILED LEATHER!
The attack in the forest fresh on their minds, the village smiths work on developing some form of protective armor that still allows good movement.They manage to come up with a form of steel lamellar armour, providing good protection to the torso while leaving the arms and legs free.>Obtained: lamellar armourA.ExploreB.TechC.BreedD.MagicF.Other
>>29308549A) Let's explore near where the halflings indicated the lizardmen were. Bring the diplomat.
>>29308549I vote for getting a Shaman again. Magic is the only thing we haven't done yet.
>>29308680We actually have three Earth Seers that can sense ores and other goods in the earth and create Earth Elementals, although the Elementals can't wander too far from the village and are mostly used for hard labor.
>>29308549we need more food, A north
>>29308735Well, I more meant combative magic.
>>29308549We'll need to improve the food situation so that we can grow our population. Let's talk to the halflings.
>>29308840this
>>29308840>Let's eat the halflings.FTFY
Deciding that your people need more food before doing anything else, you send the Grand Diplomat and a small escort of guards to the halflings, who are more than happy to hear you out.The fat faggot from before even invites you to stay at his manor, looking even fatter than before and decked out in all sorts of bling...Seems that the halflings have been doing very well for themselves.A. Strike a deal.B. Ask them something.C. Other
>>29308992>A Some silver and iron for food and farming techniques
>>29308992ask for food for protection from the woods, tell them about the woods.
>>29309117or that would be food for information and protection
>>29308992A. strike a dealwe want seed. barter for some other trifling goods too, to obscure what it is we really want, but we want some good, common seed to grow food with. offer silver, which is only good for trade and gets the halflings' jollies off.
>tfw you can't draw horses>implying you can draw anything
The Grand Diplomat proposes a trade to the fat bastard, offering more silver in exchange for crop seeds and the method to grow them. The halfling thinks on this, pausing only to let a human servant girl feed him several grapes>Silver for seeds, hmm...I suppose we could trade you some bags of wheat and potatos for your silver. They are wholesome crops with a variety of uses!A. AcceptB. Counter offerC. DeclineD. Other
>>29309322>BIs that all? I think we might get a better deal from the humans. They probably have better uses for our precious metals.
>>29309313Aren't a Unicorns horns between his eyes?You did better then I could've
>>29309313OH GOD MY FUCKING SIDES!
>>29309322>Human servant girl>HUMAN SERVANT GIRLShit. That's really, really bad newsB. No way we're getting cheated that hard. Fuck that overgrown potato.
>>29309383I think I like this rhinohorse better though.
>>29309322B. yeah can get a better deal, we also need the know how and seeds most of all, have to focus on sustainability or become nomads. And nomads tends to be more shifty than an established force. demand knowledge and more than just wheat and potatoes.
>>29309383I feel like I was thinking rhino, i haven't looked at a unicorn in a long time :/ i guess between the eyes makes more sense from a charging standpoint though>>29309370this, but put it a bit more subtly and diplomatically. ease off and pay if he doesnt back down, we do want these crops in our fields
Our Diplomat attempts a counter offer, explaining that bars of silver are far more valuable than simple seeds and deserving of more noteworthy crops along with the proper knowledge of how to grow them...Possibly while striking various JoJo poses.The halfling lets out an exaggerated sigh, his fleshy chins wobbling, before replying.>Fair enough, I will admit that it was a somewhat one sided offer. For your silver we will give you the before mentioned seeds along with proper irrigation and fertilization techniques, and throw in some orange and tomato seeds as a sign of good faith.This does sound like a fair better deal than before, but you can always try pushing for more...A. AcceptB. CounterC. DeclineD. Other
>>29309720>ANo need to get greedy
>>29309720greed is never good so A: Accept
>>29309720A. take the deal, we're trade partners, and that means something to us, even if he is a greedy lil' piglet.
>>29309720Good enough for now.A.
>>29309747>>29309761>>29309776>>29309843Trademind, I like it
>>29309720A I say, good chap.
You accept the second deal, bringing the oversized halfling apparent joy.>Excellent, excellent! As before we will provide you with the goods once we have received your silver. Your business concluded, the Diplomat and his escort make ready to leave the city...But not without hearing about how the humans are apparently having trouble with a race of Undead hailing from the northern wastes. Apparently the reason why the halflings are doing so well is because they discovered a source of iron and are making a killing selling it to the desperate humans, sometimes for more than just silver and gold.
>>29310006Cool, we can become merchant orcs.
>>29310006Let's finish our trade, then treat with the Lizardmen. I think the halflings are fattened up enough, since their principle allies, the humans, already have their hands full.
>>29310006Ok, new plan. We use our geomancers to look for good sources of iron and we sell it to the humans for mad profit.
>>29310006THe humans are weak, and the halflings are wealthy and friendly.Let's leave things that way for now. No need to anger the halflings by trying to undercut them with arms deals. I say we make contact with the lizards, next. We might find a common ally against the elves.
Sell the humans steel?
>>29310102That's the thing tho, the halflings are selling all their iron to the humans for mad profit. And said humans can't come to back them up. We ally with the lizardmen, take the small faggots down and take their place.
>>29310060Yes I think something along the same lines. I think we should acquire the skill to make basic jewlery with what we got of resources: silver, copper and maybe some nice stone. Then show some work to the fat halfling ans ask to rent a spot and establish a jewlery/tradepost in the town. This will benefit in that we can take everything in as trade. from information to weapons to maps, tech and so on. It would also raise our status among the "higher" races in the area.
>>29310157Either way, looks like the next task is to send the diplomat south-east.
>>29310006alright, let's think about this one. the humans have iron from the halflings, which is fine. we could undercut them, but that ain't the way we roll. I think at this point we're in a good position to hire ourselves out as mercenaries to the humans, depending on what they have to offer us. plus, the undead might become a serious threat further down the line. there's the mysterious hunter (elf) problem far to the west, but it shouldnt cause us problems behind our walls and in our mountainhome.
>>29310209Except the humans hate orcs on general principals. Allying with them isn't really our best bet. We kill the halflings, and take their things. If we really decide to stand with the humans afterwards, we can, and make a killing in the process by supplying them.
>>29310209Something nobody has yet considered: we don't undercut the halflings - instead, we secretly sell steel to the undead. We get a diplomacy bonus with evil creatures, after all, and doing this will keep both civilizations down in the long run.
>>29310209Waste of resources. Let the humans be meatshields for now, they can't be bothered with taking us down anyway.I say we ally with the lizards, build some catapults, take the halflings down and then deal with the humans or the undeads.
I'll let you guys debate this for awhile, but allow me to remind you that we have yet to develop siege equipment or anything like that and our military training mostly consists of mounted archery tactics.
>>29310363Then let's get on that. You can't take anyone down without some heavy equipment. And our soldiers will need training too.
>>29310323it's so dirty, but i'm kind of turned on by this. envoy to the undead leader? assuming they're controlled and not a random plague of zombies or a tomb curse gone off the deep end. >>29310363archery's great for making living things dead, not so much for making undead dead, which is why I want them gone. but we'd need to get some formation fighting together first.
>>29310283no we use the halflings to keep the humans in an cold war type of alliance. If they can keep us from getting trouble from the north, they can expect no trouble from the south. Then we can focus on east and south
>>29310354why take the halflings who can supply us with basic shit and rocket our development as a big faction in the area? I understand that it is tempting being flat out retarded when being orcs, but we have clearly moved another direction.
>>29310480Undeads are an actual civilization so they probably have a leader.>>29310493Humans aren't a problem anyway since they are apparently so desperate they sell themselves as slaves to the halflings.
>>29310363Our strength lies in melee, which wwe should focus on. Also, with our bounty from the halflings, we can work on bolstering our numbers while diplomat is out wheeling and dealing.
>>29310586no the humans are not the problems, but they can be the ones who keep the problems out.
>>29310577Because they are extremely rich and basically useless to us now. They have also proven to be extremely greedy (2 wagons of silver for a few sacs of grain was their actual offer).>>29310620If we can't deal with the undeads then yes. And in any case we can just sell them some iron for a slightly smaller price and they'll most likely be very happy.
>>29310676useless on what accounts? we got some seeds and potatoes from them and they are now useless? That makes no sense at all. The halfling town is clearly a trading town, and establishing a good relationship with it could be pivotal to us.
>>29310676Let's not forget the halflings so soon. We have strength and steel, and they have wealth, tech, and prestige. That's not going to change, so they remain useful to us.
>>29310742Keeping a trade relationship with the halflings is only going to end in us getting screwed over, like the humans currently are.I'd rather supply the humans with what they need ourselves to keep the undead horde out, if need be. As it is, the halflings are a relatively easy, and rich, target. Their armies are inexperienced and weak. We need siege equipment, and some monstrous allies, but we'd need those anyways eventually. Let us take advantage of the fat opportunity in front of us.Rape and pillage! Rape and pillage!
>>29310742Simple. We don't need anything more from them and they're ripe for the taking. Doesn't have to be right now, but remember that they wouldn't mind robbing us blind like they do the humans (in fact they tried). That and taking them down means we get all their resources and trading routes.It's simple really. They're an easy weak target that's taking us for retards. Big mistake.>>29310783Actually they don't have that much useful tech left. And they probably won't part with it to keep their one advantage.
>>29310851Based on what? That we are growing stronger? I say that we should keep the good relationship we have with the fat one and groom it some more, bring him gifts and so on. He can be our voice in the town, granting us more possibilities. Being an orc does not mean that you have to be a retarded war machine. we have unicorns as friends, we cannot simply go back to cave man ethics
>>29310742A trading post inside the town could lead to income and developing better tech through good relations with the halflings. It also offers the opportunity to have orcs inside the town walls so when he choose to attack the halfings we could Trojan Horse them.
>>29310590>Our strength lies in ponies, which we should focus on.FTFY>>29310676i'm not sure he was asking for that much silver, we just offered to trade silver for seed. they're the merchant hub of this little region, that much is clear, we shouldn't oust them unless we're ready to take on that role. in any case, they've been amiable enough toward us, while we still have no clue if we'll find anything close to an ally in the lizardmen, humans or undead. i propose we send envoys to all three parties before we move forward.
Alright, lets boil down the popular ideas to a few votes now.A. Prepare to invade the fat halfingsB. Leave the halfings alone, continue as normalC. Contact the humans and try to sell goods to them for cheaper than the haflingsD. Try to contact theUndead
>>29311001A/D
>>29311001Try to contact the undead and the lizards. See where allies could be made.
>>29311001Can we also have E. contact the lizards?
>>29311001>B
>>29311001I vote to leave the Halflings alone and help the Humans
>>29310931one do not just automatically get the trade routs the halflings have. It is more likely that the town will stay sacked and we have no routes since they were trading with stable halflings and not mindless green grunts who has a history of stabbing in the back. How do you know about the tech they have?>>29310971yes but without the trojan horse mentality. We would certainly spy yes.
>>29311001D/E, undead and lizards. let's see where we stand amongst the rest of these factions.
>>29311037Sure, I meant to imply that would be an option from continuing as normal, but I we can do that.E.Contact the lizards
>>29311001B, and breed
>>29311001C. for a trading post
>>29311155apologies that's supposed to be B
Alright...Lets go with a mix of actions.We'll send envoys to the halflings in an effort to establish a trading post, then attempt to contact the lizards, undead, and humans.This is going to be a pretty big task and it's getting late, so I think I'm going to call it a night here.I've made a Twitter account where I'll announce the next date and time I start this again, it's in the e-mail field
>>29311304Alright bro, good thread! lovin it so far
>>29311304Awesome, it's been fun. Thanks for running it!
>>29311304ah finally sleep
>>29311304Fun thread, our fabulous unicorn riding diplomat will sort everything out in the future.
>>29311369>>29311386No problem. I probably won't be able to post tomorrow or Thursday, but unless something comes up it will happen on Wednesday.Looking forward to seeing everyone there.
>>29311304oh and can you make a test tweet?
>>29311441*TuesdayDamn similar spelled days.
Facebook would be better for me at least
>>29311441wednesday sounds great, OP, definitely look forward to it. thanks for the quest! have these threads been archived?
>>29311527As far as I know they haven't yet, and honestly I don't know how to do that.
>>29311441Thanks for the threads, they were great. Look forward to the next.
>>29311545i'll archive the other one if it's still alive, and this one.
>>29311611That would be awesome, thanks. I'm keeping general notes on what has happened, but having archives at hand would be great for remembering specific details.
>>29311651good test
>>29311651http://suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/archive/29306362/here's the archived part II, part I died and no one archived as far as I know :( you'll just have to summarize.
>>29311783Oh well, I have all of our tech, relations, map, and settlement information written down anyway, so we should be fine.And with that I'm going to bow out for the night, see you guys later.
