>>28996026
>Bitch is a gold digger out for his power
>It turns out he is actually a nice guy and she falls in love

Alternatively

>Bitch is a gold digger out for his power
>He recognizes this ambition and likes it
>The two of them are a duo. She is his lieutenant.


And fuck your guidelines. Those are the only two ways. Well, unless you count bitches swooning over the badboy, the woman being taken as a slave/concubine and they fall in love, or terrible cliches like that.

>abduct women
>evil magics
>just as evil woman
>fea temptress wants to sire next bbeg
>bound demon/devil
do you even evil love?

Stockholm Syndrome Kidnappee
Distressed noble avoiding her political marriage.
Failed adventurer/assassin who fell in love
Complete Fangirl
Bratty noble acting out against daddy.
Something otherworldly/monstrous that he summoned and courted to avoid Material Plane Pig Disgusting girls

How can we even remotely begin to answer this without knowing what kind of person your BBEG is?

>>28996026
>-avoid gold diggers (for obvious reasons), but another villain in their own right is fine.
>another villain is fine.
You answered your own question.
Nobody views themselves as a villain, there are only 2 kinds of villains
1. Post moralists who believe that morality systems are obsolete and arbitrary. (there is no good and evil (or I simply do not care about such concepts) therefore I will burn down the orphanage for personal profit / for the lulz)
2. Well meaning extremists (I will burn down the orphanage for the greater good).

No matter how unusual and extreme your views are, there is bound to be someone who either shares your political views, or has compatible ones.

And actually on the side of villainy there is significantly more compatibility in views. Because they will be less judgmental and will gladly help you murder the entire family of that dude who killed your father in revenge instead of stopping you from killing his daughter just because she is a child.

>>28996026
childhood love interest that bullied/was bullied alongside him
loyal right hand who's relationship developed
political marriage that actually resulted in love (evil emp won't torch his in law's castle)

>>28996026
have you played either of the overlord games?

>>28996930
Overlord 2 covers it all, really.
>Red headed childhood friend who encouraged your fledgling evil acts and likes to hunt things
>Gold digging seductress who loves rolling in dosh
>Corrupted elven fae queen whose veins course with the evil magic you freshly infused in her

>>28996026
>There's actually a nice little song about this.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9O-ra3RZeHk

>>28997002
>Overlord 2 covers it all, really.
not all, there are so many other types.

What you have to remember, and what a lot of people can forget, is that villains are people. They meet someone with qualities they like (generally similar to themselves) and proceed with courtship. For a personal example:
>Evil Half Fiend necromancer with a deep-seated hatred for humanity holed up in a "haunted" mansion near a road and raids caravans on said road for supplies
>One day finds a succubus assassin being sent to be executed
>Rescues her
>Invites her to stay in his house as he has plenty of extra room
>Succubus realizes that he has power, but little motivation to actually go through with anything majorly evil
>Succubus lives in manor for a while in an attempt to get close to him so as to push him into something along the lines of a genocide of the human race
>She realizes that she has feelings for him, given how much time they're spending together, living in the same house, eating together, etc
>Relationship progresses from there.
I personally really like these two together; one with the brains and firepower, the other with the plot and motivation to get it done. They need each other to succeed, which is a point of weakness and vulnerability that can be exploited.
tl;dr evil dude finds evil chick who gives him the drive to succeed in a career in darkness.

>>28996026
Maybe they were married before he began his rise to BBEGdom, and the two started down the path of ultimate evil together.

>>28997503
Maybe his wife has a fetish for evil overlords.

Do it the Shishio Makoto way.

If I were the Evil Overlord of Badtown and I wanted a wife, I wouldn't bring my work home.

>>28997503
>>28999320
I was once told by my girlfriend she would stay with me if I became an evil overlord as long as I did not kill anybody she knew.

>>28999320
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hybristophilia

It's a thing, inevitably.

One longtime internet friend's very much this way, has a very self-aware tendency to be intensely interested in such fictional psychopathic scumbags as the villian in Persona 4.

She said (possibly quoted) something once, about a story where the brave knight doesn't rescue the princess from the dragon, because the princess instead sacrifices him, feeds his heart to the dragon to seal an allegiance, and then rides out on his back to burn the world together. Or something.

>>28996026
Maybe she's the evil overlord of the next town over? Got a bit bored of her lot, decided to expand, bumped into him and now they're gleefully plotting the demise of the heroes as a tag team? She doesn't necessarily have to be a commoner.

He does evil to provide what he think's his family deserves, fabulous wealth, undisputed power, lands and titles, a world free of humans, or maybe just the world. They know he might not be doing the right thing, but they know it's because he cares.
Could be a religious thing too, like she is so devoted to her god, religion, or oaths that they are completely behind him because that's what you're supposed to do when you're bonded together in matrimony.
Or they could just have dynamite chemistry, they go together like peanut butter and jelly. They have their differences sure, but they accept them in stride. He conquers nations and commits genocide, she leaves her dishes around the lair and forgets that his cloaks are drip dry only, but they make it work and get past their pet peeves.
...He could also be a great orator if you get my drift, and that's worth hundreds of corpses blood on his hands.

Easy mode tier
>She's into what he does for a living
>She's planning to backstab him and claim the throne

Realism mode tier
>He hides what he does for a living
>She doesn't honestly care that he's an evil emperor
>Stockholm Syndrome
>Isn't in what people would call a deep relationship with him

Hard mode tier
>She knows what he does and hates him for it, but stays with him because she wants to try and divert him from the path he's chosen
>Is there because she knows he won't hurt her and she couldn't live with herself if she left him totally unchecked, tries to safeguard as many people from him as she can

>>28999407
Also for this friend in question, checked some old tumblr posts on the topic.

More accurate summary in their instance might be...

She likes twisted psychopaths. She especially likes hurting them. “boy i really like this character i wonder what they’d look like if they got the hell beat out of them and started crying”

Said friend is very much a "hear me roar" type in general. Won't claim to fully grasp her thing, but I kinda wonder if it's to do with wanting to be the one person who can fuck with the apex predator. Figuratively and literally, in that order.

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>>28999479
>dat last option
>dat moment where the BBEG finds out she's been throwing the party bones here and there throughout the campaign

I ask, what's the point on emphasizing the BBEG's evilness? Why does he need to be so stereotypically evil that he wears spikes, or lives in a castle wrought from hell itself? The demonic minions I'm fine with, kings need to have authority, but the rest of it just smacks of trying too hard.

But let's just say McMordor decides he wants a wife. Well, does he hold a court of nobles? If not, he does now. Their main goal is to avoid having their territories fucked, while finding ways to convince the BBEG to invade places that favor them. One of these people, he takes a particular shine to. He likes her because [REASONS], and vice versa. So they hook up, because a king needs progeny to rule his empire after his passing.

Don't like that? Well then, just marry him off to the princess of the empire next door. Instead of wiping the floor with them, the kingdoms engage in trade.

>>28999585
>That moment when the BBEG breaks down into tears because his closest companion was helping his worst enemies

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>not having them be evil childhoood friends
>not having them grow up with evil lives
>not having them go to an evil academy
>not having them be evil rivals through out their evil career
>not having them go to evil prom together
>not having them graduate top of their evil class
>not having him propose an alliance
>not having him then propose marriage
>not having them hold hands

>>28996026

Well... the BBEG could accidently have saved a girl, and the girl honestly believes BBEG is a good guy who just likes to dress like a bad guy.

Or have the BBEG's childhood friend (and reason for evil) turn out to not be so innocent after all, and she set out on a quest to find that hunky guy from next door who commands an evil army, and marry him.

Captcha: gyddrew was

There, now you have a surname for them too.

>>28996026
ever see The Adams Family?

>>28999320
>Maybe his wife has a fetish for evil overlords.
The fact politicians are all married and can find women to cheat on their wife with so easily is proof that this is a very common fetish

>>28999407
holy shit those examples
>One of the most infamous examples of hybristophilia is the large number of women attracted to Ted Bundy after his arrest.[5] He often drew scores of women at the jammed courtrooms of his trials each day.[6] Bundy allegedly received hundreds of love letters from women while he was incarcerated.
>Jeffrey Dahmer, a serial killer, is said to have had amorous women sending him letters, money, and other gifts during his time in prison.
>Serial killer Richard Ramirez married a female groupie in prison who had written him over 75 letters. During his trial, dozens of women flocked to the courtroom to catch a glimpse of him.
>Rapist Josef Fritzl, who imprisoned his daughter in a basement for 24 years, received hundreds of love letters from women following his arrest.[7][8][9]
>The phenomenon of Charles Manson groupies is also an example of hybristophilia.

Even the fucking rapist?

>>28999429
>bumped into him
I see what you did there

>>28999479
>Realism
no...

>>28997002
Yeah, it really does. But why did you list those other two when you already mentioned Kelda?

>>28999407
>One longtime internet friend's very much this way, has a very self-aware tendency to be intensely interested in such fictional psychopathic scumbags as the villian in Persona 4.

She must have fucking loved David Morrissey as the Governor, then...

>>29000001
>Women grant their cunt to the dude who saves them because they love good guys
... you really need to stop basing your view on human nature on disney cartoons.
of if you have to base it on cartoons, watch quasimodo, quasimodo loves esmeralda and saves her... so she friendzones the fuck out of him and goes after some douche who is beautiful and wealthy

>>29000009
I was thinking somewhere between the Addamses and the Macbeths, to be perfectly honest. If you've ever seen anyone play Macbeth and his lady just right, you know how absolutely crazy they are for each other.

>>28999958
Man, now I need one of my characters to NTR the BBEG.
Fuck this thread.

>everybody talking about the childhood friend route
>not the former rival route, a fallen paladin made evil by the power of love
I mean come on, it's perfect.

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>>29001695
Lady Macbeth is a terrible character, though.

>>28996026
OP, this is what you need: Lady Macbeth done right.

>>29001760
who are those people and why do you think we will recognize their image?

>>28996026

Two words: Nicodemus Archleone.

Found someone who shares his goals though they have different win conditions. Occasionally there are marital spats... So they fight for a decade, then have makeup sex on top of a paladin's corpse.

>>29001737
And of course the she backstabbed the last party that tried to stop him in order to be with him.

>>28996026
This is really easy, OP. Nobody is universally evil and unlikable. The BBEG, when he takes his armour and helmet off, when he's done pillaging, raping and conquering for the day, might enjoy sitting down and painting or something. He might meet somebody who also enjoys painting and hit it off. Turns out he's sort of not a completely terrible person as long as you don't bring up politics or religion with him.

Sure, I guess there's gonna be a little moral dissonance going on when the chick (Or dude, I don't discriminate) finds out that he's an evil overlord, but people have done crazier things in the name of love.

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>>28999988
Evil handholding?

>>29001911
It's house of cards you uncultured madman. Watch this to see how an LE character is done right. It's even what OP wants.

>>29002376
>Nobody is universally evil and unlikable
You clearly haven't met the people I know

>>29002516

>Calls others plebs
>watching the inferior US version

Never change/tg/

Love,

/tv/

>>28996026

For every Hitler there's an Eva Braun.

It can't be that hard to find a woman who would love him. Presumably her own moral compass can't be too good or she's in denial or oblivious about how a terrible person her husband really is.

>>29002548
>watching the inferior US version

Kevin Spacey's an -amazing- actor, you bastard. I bet you liked the british version of The Office, too. "It's always better if it's british!" Doesn't always hold to water.

>>29002591

But these are two cases where the UK series are objectively better.

Again, never change /tg/.

Could be that he was a normal guy before getting married and his wife pushed him into being an evil overlord. The guy could be the most badass over lord in the world in public, but he's just pussy-whipped and everything was really his wife's idea.

>>29002618

You are an insufferable cunt.

Pls leaf.

>>29002516
>Watch TV series you pleb
...
I don't watch TV at all you pleb.

>>29002624

He said he wanted to play a villain, not Nelson Mandela.

What about sweet housewife that just considers what the BBEG does as his job? Brags to her friends about is success, worries about him when he rides out to get in a fight with the party when he could just have sent some miniboss squad, walks into the dungeon when he's torturing party members to offer lemonade and baked goods.

>>29006778

>tfw no evilfu to bring finger sandwiches for the post-paladin-castration lunch

Take me now Dark Ones.

He's incredibly charismatic and charming.
That's really all you need.
Why do you think women love serial killers, both real and fictional?

>>28996075
As terrible as that first cliche you mentioned was, it's a cliche because it happens.

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I love my man for who he is, not what he does.

>>29001570
There's a dude in prison right now who has impregnated multiple female prison guards. None of them regret it.

>>29010077
If I was in prison I wish I was so awesome as to impregnate a bunch of female guards

>>29002437
This is how they activate their endgame armageddon spell.
Alternatively, have them just walking around the grounds or town, talking to each other, fingers intertwined.

>>28996026

Perhaps its someone who took the journey with him? He likely wasn't born an evil overlord. If someone knew him in his childhood and saw him grow up, they'd be more inclined to understand why he does what he does, and to not take issue with it.

>>29001729
>implying BBEG's wife isn't undyingly faithful to him
The plot kicks off when the bard attempts to sleep with her, and she tells her husband about it.

Maybe she got traded to him as part of an arrangement with a rival power. Common thing amongst nobility, and if he's powerful enough, then he counts. And then he's nice to her, and they go horseback riding on the weekends when he's not out conquering or raising zombies, and he proposed to her properly in a shaded garden surrounded by lilies and butterflies....

>>29009739
Except the finger sandwiches at such an event wouldn't really be made of fingers...

>>29009739
Imagine it - you're stretched out on the rack, the BBEG instructing his minion to pull you harder. Then, a ray of light almost blinds you, and a vision of loveliness steps through the now-open door.
"Honey, did you remember to get Cerberus his shots? You know how he gets in the dry season"
"Okay, I'll get it done."
A few moments of agonizing silence, then:
"So are you going to do it?"
"I'll take care of it! Just...I'll do it as soon as this guy gives me the magic words to open the portal to the elemental plane of lawyers."

>>28997033
> maybe I used too many monkeys
> dafeels.jpg

>>29010254
... this is fucking awesome!
Heck, take it a step further, it was the tavern, she said no, he pinched her ass, she slapped him, his party laughed. She ran home crying from the humiliation and told the BBEG.

Tale as old as time
True as it can be
Barely even friends
Then somebody bends
Unexpectedly

Just a little change
Small to say the least
Both a little scared
Neither one prepared
Beauty and the Beast

>>29010355
>"I'll take care of it! Just...I'll do it as soon as this guy gives me the magic words to open the portal to the elemental plane of lawyers."
so... the portal to hell?

>>29010548
PCs being dicks leading to their own demise? I love it.

>>29010548
Wife is there with her friends on a Girls' Night Out. They corroborate her story.

>>29010601
And they don't even find out until the final encounter, when tides of unspeakable evils have already washed over the world, and a simple apology on their part would have sufficed to prevent it all....

>>28996026
She is as evil and terrifying as him? A perfect match made in the darkest pits of hell? I'm imagining Rita Repulsa and the Litch King just giddily discussing how many flaming skulls each table at their wedding will have and the best solution for keeping their respective parents away from each other.

>>28996245
>Dating MPPD
>mfw

>>29010847
>tides of unspeakable evils have already washed over the world
That makes no sense, now, their home town getting sacked or just their families and friends killed? that's fine.
>and a simple apology on their part would have sufficed to prevent it all....
no, an apology would not do, they must suffer. The BBEG and his wife are too evil to let them go for a mere apology.

>>29011152
Being grandiosely evil is all about grossly overreacting to trivialities. The greater the overreaction and the more trivial the triviality, the better.

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>>28996026
Summoning and divination, mang. He can practically pick the perfect waifu. Hell, if he wants to, he can decide on the set of characteristics he wants, then scry until he finds someone with those in a situation where they would want him to come along and rescue them.

>>29006059
It's on Netflix. As is the UK version

>>29011260
overreaction to someone slighting you is burning down their town, not the whole WORLD.
Because you LIVE in the that world.
Now, if you were from another planet then burning down their world would be valid.
If from another galaxy then blowing up their galaxy is valid.
If from another dimension then blowing up their dimension is valid...
etc.
But in all cases the key is that you blow them up, not yourself and your loved ones.

If age of darkness is just the BBEG conquering the world... well he was gonna do that anways, its not a punishment to them.

>>29010355

Imagine the adorable drawings from the kids.

My dad is the best dad. For my birthday he got me a REAL unicorn!

Meanwhile an elf maiden's corpse lays in a meadow surrounded by trampled grass, a crumpled child's wishlist with various cutesy things crossed out in a fierce hand.

I feel like Dr. Doom would work really well for this as a template.
>has his own country, Latveria
>one of the best in tech
>one of the best in magic
>thinks his plan is the only one that will work

>>29012131
What a waste of elf maiden.

Its simple she has to be sympathetic. Works best with a lawful evil bbeg. Now the fun part is determining if he was already on his evil throne when they got together and she could almost hero worship him because she sees herself as the only one that sees the brilliance in his madness, like a joker & harley thing. Or has she been with him since before he was evil and is just so in love with him she sees what she wants to see and maybe acknowledges what he's doing is wrong but still remembers when he was a good person and thinks she can bring him back around. Its actually a good way to flesh out his backstory and make him slightly more sympathetic, admittedly this only works if he mortal.

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>>29001678
Can't say, usually it depends on them being fun to fuck with.

Like, I can't speak for whether this fits within or outside the general range of hybristophilia, but her thing is more... tracking down the apex predator and making him your bitch. With a formative example being extrapolated Bulma and Vegeta in DBZ. http://stupidoomdoodles.tumblr.com/post/69630240308/bulma-is-the-smoothest-motherfucker-in-the

This & the other works by this artist are about the coolest Villian-and-his-SO dynamic I can think of, personally.

>>29012475
Oh God, that Vegeta burns my eyes.

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evil wife you say?
i'd love to see a 20+ level minmaxed wizard scared of his wife

>>28996026
His wife tries to "change" him.

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>>29012131
I like that idea. The Dark Lord is not one to bring work home. By day, he's the Bloody Butcher of Arcadia, Iron Fisted Tyrant of the Seventeen Isles, and Emperor of All He Surveys.

But in the evenings he hangs his Helm of Skulls up on the walls, plops both his feet up on the leg warmer as his beloved wife brings him a dinner of roasted elven babies. His adorable daughters squeal in delight as daddy dearest brings home a new pet (And a former rival currently subjected to an extended polymorph spell). Junior shows dad his report card, and he rustles his hair and showers him with praise, while making a mental note to hunt down the bastard who dared to give his son an A- in Necromancy.

All in all, life is good.

>>29012722
>hunt down the bastard who dared to give his son an A- in Necromancy.
i'd say someone who plans to conquer the kingdom/world/etc would be all about earning things through hard work.

>>29012722
making a mental note to hunt down the bastard who dared to give his son an A- in Necromancy.

I would think it'd be more prudent to subjugate/hold a lich hostage by threatening his phylactery/controlling it and making him a tutor. Force him into a guise to help his son be the best he can be. The boy should earn his A+, but every edge helps.

>>29012844

Definitely, no bbeg worth his salt wants to raise a successor who isn't competent to rule.

>>29012722
>hunt down the bastard who dared to give his son an A- in Necromancy.

That's how you make your child into a failure.

Your son should EARN that A+ in necromancy.

Of course if some hippy teacher tries to "raise concerns" about your childs "unnatural fascination with necromancy" thats when you pull out her intestines... and then resurrect her as a vampire.

>>29011390
And that makes it not tv?

>>29013441
It's a netflix original series based off a UK television series. It's quasi TV, really.

>>29002554
This is one path. Don't forget, even the most terrible people are human. Stalin was a family man who loved his daughter (I don't know as much about Stalin as I do about Hitler though). Hitler was a quiet and mild mannered guy for the most part. A painter who loved to day dream, an aficionado of film, and apparently quite enjoyed Gone With the Wind and Walt Disney movies. A lot of people think that serial killers or mass murderers are these cold, unfeeling machines. Some are, but the scary thing is, most of them are much more like you and me. More alike us than we give them credit for.

>>28996026
There are other alternatives. Somebody who feared him at first, but he took a shine to her. She was able to see him as a human being, and he rationalized his actions to her. Or perhaps he's the only thing that matters in her world, everything else be damned. Or perhaps she's been sheltered by him, and doesn't understand the full impact of his actions; Stalin did that with his daughter.

And of course you could just have a normal, loving woman. She knows her husband is evil, but she does know that he is also capable of love and compassion. She expects that one day, they will both have to pay for his actions, and she believes that's the way it should be. But until that day comes, she is free to spend her time with the man she loves.

>>29012438
This. A thrifty Dark Lord would just imprison the maiden and slowly corrupt her over the next decade for a present for his then 16-18 child. Nothing bests a corrupted elf maiden when it comes to coming of age presents.

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>>29012722
Reminds me of that GI Joe comic about a guy who joins Cobra to do despicable things in undeveloped countries to provide his family with the idyllic suburban life.

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Look for a girl with emotional problems. Someone who doesn't have a lot of control in their lives, who feels pretty lost and alone. Take her in. Give her a job, a purpose, and get to know her. Teach her, help her grow as a person. Help her through her problems by being the sole point of stability in her life. Even if she hates what you do for your work, she will never be able to deny that you helped her, and she'll be indebted to you.

Pic somewhat related, it was the only thing that came to mind. Kind of fucked up how that ended, if any of you watched the show. Just imagine she stuck with him.

>>29010168
This, really.

There's someone for everyone OP. Even spergy overlords who love their obsidian fortresses.

Though, honestly, you should have an evil polyamorous relationship going. Nothing is more evil than polyamory.

>>28996026

>If you were in his position, how would YOU do it?

Uh... I'd do what Pygmalion did with Galatea. Sculpt a marble statue of the woman of my dreams and spend a few months carving sigils of power and wisdom in choice places before turning it into a real person.

Though to be honest, that'd be a far-fetched idea seeing how 1) that crap doesn't work in the D&D-verse unless you're some kinda gestahlted BBEG with Rank2 Deity levels of power and 2) the "Stone to Flesh" spell doesn't work that way; it'd just create a corpse instead of breathing life into the stone.

Then again, this is the BBEG. If one of were to take several steps of preparation beforehand, such as creating the statue as a replica of the human anatomy with organs and whatnot mimicked to minute detail in stone, binding a fire elemental's core to the heart key-stone-- I'd list more possible steps but the ability to explain properly eludes me for the time being.

But yeah, I'd take up sculpting as a hobby and study anatomy and elemental ensorcellment for a lengthy period of time before pursuing the whole "create a woman of my dreams from a statue" plan.

>>29013941
Step 1: Animate as golem
Step 2: Maximized empowered awaken golem (18+3d6/2 to each mental stat)
Step 3: Mindrape
Step 4: Polymorph Any Object (make her soft)

or you can just make a flesh golem to begin with but that is gross.

>>29011314
You just gave me an idea.

A magical dating service. They have a branch in most every town. People who want a date sign up and give a profile, which can then be copied and sent to other branches.

If somebody reads a profile they like, then they can arrange to have that person notified that somebody would like to scry them: like a video call, except it's two people scrying each other.

If that goes well, then they could agree to go on a date, and one would be summoned to the other's location.

Naturally, all of this would be done for a fee. It wouldn't be hard to monetize.

>>28996026

Why wouldn't she love him?

To everyone else in the world he is the King of Flames and Shadow, but to her he'll always be her Snuggywuggumsmirchiebirchie.

The pet name is the final fail safe for his Doomsday Device.

>>29014435
>neckbeard mage comes in
>can only find 3 women that fit his demands for perfection
>none of them interested in neckbeards.
>he gets angry and kills you.

>>29014435
What if the service was run by a religious group that followed a goddess of love and in her teachings, set the whole thing up so alignments couldn't be judged through the system?

Imagine the plot potential.

>>29014435
Magical matchmaking? That could be a cool thing for a campaign.
Now how would you implement catfishing? Maybe something that interferes with scrying? Maybe a magic scrying mirror that makes you look more attractive?

>reading old Ultimate X-men comics
>beast got catfished by the fucking Blob
>sets up a meet-up date, gets beaten half to death by the Brotherhood of Mutants

>>29014509
>neckbeard
>being able to kill anything
He probably lacks the strength, or even the ability to run, much less kill anything. Well, unless he was a wizard, which is a possibility. But why wouldn't he just summon her to his location?

Actually, that's a good question. Why don't we hear about more wizards summoning people into their magical realm? Or do we not hear about it because nobody ever leaves? You'd think some would escape.

>>29014575
>Well, unless he was a wizard
that is what i meant

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>>29014548

>See a profile
>Beautiful woman
>Loves going out on the lake, watching birds, wants to see the world
>Young horned up mage goes to meet his beloved after dozens of viewings through her scrying pool
>mfw yet another fulls to Glub Glub the Immense, Catfish Illusionist.

>>29014531
I love it.
... expose PCs to it, see if any are adventurous enough to try.
One PC gets introduced to the BBEG, but its not immediately obvious.

>>29014595

I figure it would be obvious right?

"Loves long walks on the beach made from the crushed skulls of his enemies" seems to be a tipoff.

>>29014595
I was more hoping for the BBEG and his good guy equivalent.

>So /tg/, I was designing a bbeg for a campaign, when I decided he was (rather happily) married. This raised a question though, how would an evil overlord of the obsidian doomfortress even court someone without scaring them off? How would one be able to get them to look past the huge shoulderspokes and demonic minions?

Dude just look at how fucking fangirls reacted to Dark Knight Joker or Loki

Crazy bitches exist

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>>29014740

>2013
>Needs fictional examples

Step it up. They're getting married.

I bet Squeaky is pissed.

>>29014740
>Joker
don't even need fangirls to prove that, joker has harley

>>29014740
>Loki
Women were swooning over a guy calling a woman he'd just met a "whiny cunt" to her face.

>>29014609
not realistic, there aren't enough skulls to make a whole beach out of. plus it would be highly uncomfortable and poke you in the legs.

>Loves magic and studying. Romantic walks on the beach at night. Dresses in goth fashion.

>>29014797
the fifty shades books are about a rich guy taking advantage of a girl. they're written by a woman, for women, and loved by women, and they're some of the most successful books of all time

just never get the library copy unless you want herpes. seriously

>>29014806
That's why you grind the skulls into powder under the steel-toed jackboots of your new regime.

>>29014806
depends how many he's killed and how finely he grinds the skulls

>>29014839
>wear steel toed boots to a romantic walk on the beach
being a BBEG =! being alergic to fun and love and romance.

>>29014863
>implying I'm doing the grinding myself
Please. I have minions for that.

>>29014863

The steel toed boots are for his sporting time. You know, little game of Kick the Skull, Skullky Sack with his favorite minions, little Baatorian Rules Football.

Then he busts out the nice set of sandals and go for it.

Every bad boy has a soft side. And if his soft side is helped by having thousands of impoverished alchemists forced to pestle down enemy skulls into a fine, smooth powder than so be it.

The man works hard for this evil empire. Let him enjoy the bony fruits of his labor.

>>29014531
>>29014435
Hey guys, I know what we could call this dating service: OKCupid

>>29014548
There would be a whole new market for stuff like that. It could get pretty interesting.

I'm definitely going to introduce this into my next campaign. It'll be mentioned as a side thing, but it the players want to investigate it, I'm not going to stop them.

>>29014583
You know, I feel like a moron, because I entirely missed the whole "mage" bit.

>>29015000
eh, by the time i read your post I FORGOT that I wrote mage and I thought I must have not mentioned it.

>>29015263

I pity you.

>>29014797
Contextually, 'mewling' was more saying she was weak than whiny. Like a kitten?

>>29012475
>Has just realised the shipping name for Vegeta + Bulma is Vegetabul.

I knew DBZ likes it's puns, but that one really flew by me.

>>29017468
Weak isn't really something that needs to be said, given that he was all but beating the cap with his own shield in Germany.

>>29017495
eat your vegetabuls children

>>29017495
how did i miss that? i grew up idolizing him, i cry to this day whenever i see him nuke himself against buu, i've written papers about him for my english classes, but i missed that entirely

1) She has the same evil philosophy he has
2) She's really a nice person, but sincerely believes in supporting her husband in all endeavours, no matter what
3) Stockholm syndrome / battered wife syndrome / "he's not evil, just troubled."
4) Convinced that this evil stuff is a phase, and he'll mellow out
5) The barbarians/orcs/hobgoblins/whatever who make up his evil army respect him because he married one of their women.
6) She loves him simply for what a competent and charismatic leader he is

>>29017524
I'm not going to complain about your taste in anime, but I'm going to have to say that essays on Asian fiction for English class are BS, and would be even if the subject was something like Rashomon or Romance of the Three Kingdoms

Imagine a world fraught with danger: horrible beasts roam the wilderness, roving bands of barbarians pillaging and worst of all feckless kings and barons keeping safe behind high walls as their subjects are harassed, raped and murdered by bandits.

In such a world, how could a powerful and driven individual sit back and do nothing. He sees nothing but chaos beyond his realm and he loathes it. In his mind doing nothing is tantamount to agreeing with these forces of chaos. He cannot abide it, he MUST crush these bandits under his heels, the roving orc warlord crushed by his hands and that foolish neighboring kingdom brought in line for the good of the world.

In this world there will be women who will gladly throw themselves at the Overlords feet, grovel and beg for his attention. These lessers may flatter him, but not fulfill him.

>>29017468
Mewling is whiny meowing.

>>29019140

So women are all cats?

Speciest.

>>29017630
>4
I'm dying for someone to draw this
"The empire? Oh no, it's just a thing. He'll repaint everything once he's done with his evil army's reign of terror. They'll be back to selling fruit and the like before you know it!"

>>29012722

>Evil Overlord
>Being a helicopter parent

Thus we understand why BBEGs are so easily defeated. Of course now I kind of want to see the helicopter mother who married the original BBEG constantly henpecking her son's choices in life.

Just imagine the BBEG sitting in the castle confronting the PCs:

NOW YOU WEAK FOOLS, TREMBLE BEFORE M...

>soft coughing from the corner, old woman in a soft, matronly throne crocheting

Your father never needed to use voice magic to get his point across. He spent a chest full of gold to pay to kidnap the best bards and you can't even play Hot Crossed Buns.

MOTHER, NOW IS NOT THE...

Oh no. It's never the time. You don't need to worry about the adventurers you said. Killed a hundred of them, will kill a hundred more you said. Now they're dirtying up the throne room, the room your father died in

MOTHER, FATHER DIDN'T DIE, HE BECAME A LICH

At least he studied hard enough to do something, make this nice doom fortress, raise a family. Your brother Mordred

OH HERE WE GO. DO YOU MIND? WE CAN CONTINUE THIS BATTLE IN A BIT? MY MOTHER HASN'T BEEN THE SAME SINCE FATHER

Don't you dare tell them our business!

MOM, YOU'RE EMBARRASSING ME

You are an embarrassment! When your father killed the Order of the Argent Drake he had the dignity to not bring his work home with him! This is why you could never find a girl, you don't have followthrough!

EXCUSE ME

>the BBEG slams a staff into the ground and a cone of silence falls as his withered old mother and he gesticulate back and forth and the party shuffles awkwardly waiting.

>>29021146
There's a reason we have the phrases "a boy and his dog" and "crazy cat lady", but not for the opposite sexes.

>>29021760
>MOM, YOU'RE EMBARRASSING ME
Now all I can think of is a acne-ridden teen of either sex, that's amazing

>>28996026

I had a BBEG who became obsessed with his dead wife to the point of wanting to bring her back. They had been so happy, he brought her back gifts from the nations and then planes he fought across, and she raised his children and took care of his interests. He posed as a merchant to his family, completely separating his evil overlord self from them and referring to himself as a simple merchant.

He would come home from the 'trading season' with stories of great riches, beauties, and false tales of his mercantile prowess.

Then the adventurers came, found her sitting around taking care of their adopted kids, and decided to kidnap her to make the Overlord pay. They took away her baubles, one of which was the only thing protecting her from a curse she had developed when they were children, the whole reason he had become the Overlord in the first place being to find a cure so they could be a happy husband and wife.

Over the months she slowly wasted away, as the Mage pored over tomes, the Cleric prayed to the Gods for intercession which wouldn't come due to the sins of her husband, and the party sought anything to heal her. They finally tried to bring her back to the Overlord thinking he had given her some sort of poison pill to prevent her from leaving him, and she died during the sojourn to find him.

When they learned of the curse they immediately apologized, but it was too late. She was lost to the planes, and the group joined up with the BBEG to right the wrong. They raged across the planes, fighting monstrosities in the deeps to find her soul... And when they did she admitted she knew what he was all along and would have just been happy with their little family. When the Overlord, now being played by the former Paladin's player (who died storming an Angelic monastery and Falling and killing himself over the shame) explained he wanted to save her she refused to leave and asked only that he redeem himself.

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>>29021146
>So women are all cats?
If only.

>>29022373

>Overlord is sitting in a room with his lieutenants, plotting the latest battle on a board

AND SO WILL THE PALADINS FALL AT MIRI

Son? Why don't you come up to eat? We have mutton!

MOTHER, I WILL BE RIGHT UP, I'M WORKING ON SOMETHING

Oh, I see. You don't want to be embarrassed by your mother. Is Gurluk the Merciless down there?

>A towering figure in black plate riveted with skulls and covered in blades stands up

y.yes ma'am?

Oh good! I made your favorite!

Apple Brown Betty?

NOW IS NOT THE TIME TO DISCUSS CUISINE GURLUK

But your mom always has the good cheese on top of i...

NOW IS NOT THE TIME!

Well, when you boys are ready come on up. I don't want the food to get cold while you're playing with dolls.

THEY'RE NOT DOLLS MOTHER! THEY ARE FIGURINES TO REPRESENT OUR COMBINED FORCES

Sure baby, whatever you say.

Can I stay over then Lord?

YES.

I have plenty for everyone! Invite all your friends!

GATHERED HOST. WOULD YOU LIKE TO COME TO THE BLOOD CHAMBER? WE HAVE MUTTON AND APPLE BROWN BETTY

And mashed neeps! And fresh Elvish honeybread!

>All of the rest of the warlords hurriedly Message home to make sure they can stay over too

I REALLY NEED TO MOVE OUT.

>>29022656
Being a lich is the ultimate helicopter parent strategy.

>>29022656

this is the single neckbeardiest thing I have ever read on 4chan

>>29022780
But that's what makes it great! I also like the imlication that each of the assembled Dark Lords also has a helicopter parent (or parents) at home.

Hell, what if having a helicopter parent was what made you a BBEG in the first place? Oh sure, they'd have other reasons for becoming world destroyers, but when you get right down to it, the mental issues from having an overbearing parent is what sparks that spark of evil genius. What would Paladins do?

>>29022780

>Year of the Screaming Innocent
>Not being proud of your rich traditional family values.

My father was Lord of the Fiery Hellscape, and his father before him. I must be the best Overlord I can be, or else Mom won't make me fishsticks when I get home from campaigning.

>>29023256
so... you like fish sticks?
You like them in your mouth?

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>>29023920

WELL OF COURSE I LOVE FISH STICKS. I LOVE FISH STICKS IN MY MOUTH. THEY ARE DELICIOUS.

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>>29023256
>>29023920
>>29023994

what are you a gay merman?

bump for more stories of mama's boy bbegs pls?

>>29024807

I will if the thread is still here tonight.

What kind of girl loves a villain?
all of them
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=s9xUQNZiMyo

>BBEG going home from a night of virgin sacrifices
>Takes a cohort's offer to hop-port back to his lair, gets dropped off
>Locks up his armor
>Puts Ulthir, Dearth of Mankind, in the ornamental weapon rack in the office
>Takes a quick bath with a skeletal servant assisting
>Locks up the 'office'
>Tiptoes into the master bedroom
>Sees that the drapes have been changed and a beautiful cast iron bassinet has been placed near the bed
>Crawls into bed with his shapely wife
>Found her in the burning husk of an old bakery, crying over the body of some forgotten baker-turned-swordsman
>Runs his hands over her calloused palms, hard from the forge
>The former blacksmith's daughter wakes up, pressing herself against him
>"It's going to be twins, dear."
>"I love you."
>"I love you too."

Meanwhile the party is sitting in a filthy dungeon somewhere, dealing with his latest major trap, miserable and cold.

Truly the BBEG deserves death.

>>29028880
>BBEG going home from a night of virgin sacrifices
I'm imagining the phrase "THOSE VIRGINS DON'T SACRIFICE THEMSELVES YOU KNOW" when she yells at him the next day for coming home so late.

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>>29028880

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>>29001654

>>29028959

That's more second trimester.

DEAR, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO TELL YOU. I WANT TO BE HOME MORE, BUT THESE DAMN ADVENTURERS

Don't use your Voice with me mister! You're probably with that damn whore!

BABY, SHE'S A SUCCUBUS. NOTHING HAS EVER HAPPENED

I smelled brimstone on your collar last time you came home... You just don't love me because I've gotten fat!

I DO LOVE YOU. WOULD SOMEONE WHO DIDN'T LOVE YOU GO AROUND AND FIND THAT BARD YOU LIKE TO SING LULLABIES FOR THE BABY?

You found Erlmor the Silvertongued?

YES. THOUGH HE MAY NEED SOMEONE TO DO ACCOMPANIMENT DUE TO AN UNFORTUNATE SWORD INJURY

Elvish: Please help me! He's threatened to murder my entire family!

I love Elvish.
NOT AS MUCH AS I LOVE YOU, DEAR.

Elvish: He's removed my manhood and fed it to me over a spit!

It always sounds like they are singing doesn't it?

YES. VERY BEAUTIFUL, CULTURED PEOPLE. WORK WITH THEM OFTEN.

The baby will love him!

E: Baby? Did I hear the word baby? You are bringing his spawn into the world?

HE SOUNDS TIRED. I WILL TAKE HIM TO HIS NEW QUARTERS. DINNER TONIGHT? I'M FEELING VEGETARIAN.

Oh, I know this place...

>as she turns the Overlord kidney punches the elvish bard before dragging him to the nearest dungeon.

>>29029094
>kelllllllllda
God, I hate this shit. When you draw out a word, you don't put more consonants, you put more vowels. It should be Keeeeeeeldaaaaaaa.

>>29029189
You can draw out the "L" sound, and that's how you write it.

You also generally don't write out drawing out a short e, as it looks like it's said "Keelda" instead of "Kelda."

>>29029157
This sounds like a sit-com waiting to happen.

>>29029286
Then write more e's, and it becomes more clear.

>>29029309

Sitcoms with villains rarely wok.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qWjCkcAmzDc

Yes, this is a real sitcom.

>>29029157
You know how pregnant women get weird cravings?
Imagine the cravings of a pregnant woman in a fantasy world.
Also, the BBEG, for all his knowledge, knows nothing of delivery. Other than that you're supposed to boil water. No idea what he's supposed to do with it, though.

>>29029315
More e's is the problem because the long e sound is usually written ee, and ee always has the long e. You may know, after thinking, that it meant to draw out the short e sound, but your brain saw more than one E and thought "EEEEEEEEEEE." (and you read that as some screeching, not someone going "eh" for a really long time)

They're drawing out the L sound anyway, so it's irrelevant.

>>29029372

>The BBEG paces around the throne room as the party is dragged before him, beaten and broken into a room filled with steam
>The sounds of a thousand blades clashing comes from his... wringing hands?

I NEED THE PRIEST'S ASSISTANCE

>One of his minions, a burly brute covered in blasphemous tattoos, removes the priest's gag, placing a dagger to the cleric's throat

I will never work with filth such as the Worldbreaker

IT IS NOT FOR ME. BUT MY WIFE. IT HAS BEEN A DIFFICULT FEW DAYS, BETWEEN OUR SKIRMISH AND THE SIEGE OUTSIDE. SHE HAS GONE INTO LABOR TOO SOON.

What? You have a wife?

YES. WILL YOU ASSIST ME? I DO NOT WISH TO LOSE MY BELOVED. GUARDS! PRESENT HIS TOOLS!

>Two half-giants, clad in livery, yank on giant chains exposing several old men, covered in soot, chanting before a giant cistern. Water, superheated and boiling, falls down on them as they chant, but they seem not to feel it. Chained alongside them is a young dragon being struck viciously, bellowing gouts of flame towards the vessel.

I HAVE THE BOILING WATER, BUT I DON'T KNOW WHEN SHE MUST PUSH? AND THE CIGARS... IS THAT BEFORE OR AFTER? HOW DO YOU BURP THEM? HOW DO YOU... DIAPER THEM?

>The cleric, beaten but realizing a chance, bows his head muttering a prayer to the Lord of Light

Alright. Get me rags...

TORN FROM THE BACKS OF A DEFILED MAIDEN?

No... Just rags.

>>29029573

i must say that evil seems to just do everything on an extreme scale more than being evil.

>>29030174
BBEG just doesn't know any other way to do things

>>29012558
wait, hold up. just what web comic is this? this has stumped me for ages.

>>29030386
that reminds me of how Loki works. it's just the way he is.

>>29030671
Marvel loki or mythology loki?

Damn it /tg/, I love you guys. This whole thread is pure gold.

>>29012558
Imagine the shitstorm that would result from a man in a webcomic threatening to violently kill his girlfriend and any men she knew if she cheated on him.

>>29030743
If he was a villain, probably no shitstorm at all.
If he left his girlfriend off the list, again no shitstorm.
If presented as written, probably a very minor one at best.

>>29030694
the Marvel live action movies and Mythology Loki are two completely diffrent beings, but each one is a perfect BBEG in their own ways. (i have not been able to keep up with the comic Loki for some time)

>>29030743
i still have no idea what webcomic that is from.

>>29030882
I'm fond of Marvel's Loki, although I hate the Phase 2 movies thus far. I also tend to smush him together with Mythology Loki because it's a touch more fun that way.

Oh God /tg/, this is pure gold. If someone hasn't filed it for archiving yet, I shall

>>29031382
It's already done

>>29030978
the Marvel Loki plays both sides ageinst each other for his own ends. THAT is a sign of a great BBEG. the BBEG that slowly performs the Xanathos gambits but not so much that the good guys turn on him to off him or take him down. he'll win in time.. and the good guys may not even know he has won.

>>29031472
I know that much, but it doesn't change that the fact that Iron Man 3 and Thor 2 was far lesser films than their predecessors.

>>29031414
Oh, just found it, alright then. As for the subject in hand:

I'm really fond of doing this in a way that fleshes out the villain, so nothing like kidnapping maidens to marry. Have the wife originally fall for the passion with which he pursues his goals, even if they are questionable. Besides, if he's so passionate about them, he should be able to explain his motives quite well to her. Doesn't mean the bbeg is a misinterpreted dude, mind you.

The wife should either be "amoral" or have the same easiness to justify evil actions as her husband has. As an example, think about some drug dealers: lots of them either don't care about the junkies or adopt the whole "they'll just buy from someone else anyway" philosophy. I have never met, heard about or read in interviews about someone who sells drugs only because he wants to fuck up entire parcels of the population. Ok, except perhaps the CIA with cartels/the chechens flooding russia with heroin, but this deviating too much from the main subject of the thread

>>29031644
Oh, and late example that the whole drug trafficking just brought to my mind. Breaking Bad does a terrific job showing the progression of a woman as the BBEG's wife, from coming to terms with what her husband does, to joining in on the activities and finally to doing some evil things herself. They don't exactly have a happy marriage though, but you catch my drift

>>29031644
That reminds me of the idea of a drug dealer who justifies his selling because he knows that the addicts are gonna keep buying so he might as well be the one selling them the drugs of the highest quality and of relative safeness to use.

>>29031559
Iron man 3 hit the wall due to the orginal comic was stuck when all the good orginal villians tonyh would have normally faced was used and removed. the manderin in the comic was NOT somthing they could easly toss into the Movie as he was. Disney wanted to avoid raceism calls if they cast Manderin as an Asien guy. so they slapped two villians into one. Thor 2 should have been a longer movie to smooth out the bumpy plot line. but the villians where fine IN THE COMIC, but the movie shift was not that easy.

>>29031759
I was more concerned about the setting of Thor 2 compared to the first one. The first one made the Asgardians feel more like the gods the vikings worshiped than thor 2's "we're not space viking gods, we're just space vikings'. Not to mention Odin's insistence that they are space vikings and not space viking gods one minute, then turning around and calling Jane a puny mortal. The best parts of the movie was everything Heimdal did and Loki's antics, and even the shape shifting was a disappointment as it felt more like it was just an illusion.

>>29031743
You saw that on that "Drug INC" episode about cocaine, right? I find that selling to people that are recreational users at first sight must be easier to justify than providing to homeless people addicted to crack. But to be honest here, I have some people in my life that went down this route, and my fights with them didn't happen based on the people/the families they'd be hurting, but on the risk of them doing time or getting killed over money they didn't even need in the first place.

That goes to show (if you exclude the possibility of me being a terrible human being) that it's particularly easy to not care about others if you have no direct contact with them and that you can justify pretty much anything to yourself if the morals regarding it don't affect you. Case in point, again, Breaking Bad: "alright Walt, kill those people I don't know, at least it'll be for protecting this family". And that's not even touching on the wealth and power aspects, which should make it even easier for mister and missus BBEG

>>29030743
there was a social experiment done. Two actors, male and female, taking turns assaulting each other on hidden camera.
When the woman was assaulting the men people laughed, many women and men cheered her on as they passed by, nobody helped or asked her to stop.
When the man was assaulting the women a fuckton of people ran to her aid.

Also, fun fact, a husband is twice as likely to be battered then a wife. Largely because beating you wife gets you thrown in prison, while getting beaten by your wife does AS WELL.
3/4 times when a man calls the cops saying his wife is beating him the cops will arrest him and NOT the wife, often times they will beat him too.

>>29031849
Worry not, friend anon. Soon GUARDIANS OF THE GALAXY will be upon us, and return us to the glory days of original Iron Man, Thor, and Captain America.

I AM GROOT

>>29031959
Nope.
>>29032092
Man I don't even know if I even want to bother with watching the rest of the Marvel Movieverse. Iron man 3 was bad and Thor 2 just killed my desire to watch any more.

>>29032128
oh, just endure it fellow anon. all of these are leading up to the offical entrance of one of the better BBEG of the whole Marvel universe. THANOS!

>>29012558
What's this from? And why does she talk like Skwisgaar?

Since we're talking about Marvel, allow me to vent about one thing here: Heimdall. Yes, he's badass as shit in the first movie (didn't bother seeing the second Thor), really imposing as Bifrost's guardian should be. And I'm aware that that's Marvel's Heimdall, not Norse Mythology's Heimdall, but... well, he IS a norse god, and he... he is black. That made about as much sense as having Samuel L. Jackson as Jesus, you know? Yes, I am thoroughly aware of how awesome that'd be, but still.

>>29032128
If you can't get excited about a half-alien, half-human teaming up with a grey alien warrior guy, a green alien assassin lady, a tree guy, and a space raccoon having SPACE ADVENTURES with space cops, intergalactic empires, and space pirates, maybe you shouldn't.

>>29032226
granted, Thanos is rather over powered in most settings, but he has a major flaw. he's long lived and he is really smart and thinks his plans though. BUT! he deep down knows that he could win at any time. but if he does, he'll get so board with being the ruler of all forever, he really does not want that. so he perposely puts flaws in his plans for the hero to use and win over him. he is so full of himself yet he has a major flaw that if pointed out to him, he nearly breaks down and retreats. he KNOWS this and is in denial over it. having a BBEG who has that one kink in his armor mentally is a nice touch.

>>29029573

The blood and muck. Stained robes. Several minions lay passed out around him. The knife lay in his hands cold, weighty for the first time in ages. A thousand skirmishes, a hundred battles, all a long war to rise to this moment, this place.

"My, my lord?"

His loyal man, Umsch the Vulgar. It was the first time He had ever seen Umsch smile without a wench on his knee or an ax in his hand. Behind Umsch stood Almin, the pockmarked thief who had become His Royal Assassin. It was Almin's knife in his hand, sharper than the Grey Lord's sword, perfectly balanced for the short man but even now feeling clumsy in His hands.

He struck. Clean, smooth, Almin cleaning up the mess. Two quick turns of the wrist, securing with cloth.

It was then the Prince of the Wastes, Firstborn to the Lord of the Deathfort, took his first wailing breath. And the tension left the Lord's hands as He handed back the blade.

"Ai say he perfec." Umsch said, placing a cautious hand across His shoulders.

"I see he has her nose, and..."

MY EYES. MY LIPS...

"And all hisss fingersss and toesss" came a hissing voice from the shadows. The tension came back into His shoulders as It spoke, the sound causing the babe's first breath to stop short.

___

The Beast. How long ago? That battlefield, when He was known as Sir... Sir... not Him, not My Lord. A blade in the chest, sucking wound, shining armor covered in blood.

He had thought the face was a helm at first. Then He saw the jeweled eyes blink, set atop the man's eyes. And He felt the hand reach down and poke into his exposed guts.

"A visssiousss predicament, yesss?" It had said. "Mortal I fear. But what will come of your ssservisse? Your glory? I offer a choice."

At the time it had all made sense.

>>29032374
(Well Jesus probably was a black/darkish guy, so Jackson would make more sense than generic white hero guy #1290398)

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>>29032374
There were black vikings iirc. The dudes did travel pretty much fucking everywhere
>>29032375
I

wat?

>>29032374
Well, they're not really Norse Gods, they're super-advanced aliens that look like humans and presumably speak Rigellian. I'd guess Heimdall just came from a place with a hell of a lot of sunlight.

>>29032429
GUARDIANS OF THE GALAXY is the best thing.

>>29032375
>>29032429
yea.. the Jack Kerby years in marvel was like that. i swear the guy was tripping balls when he made that stuff, but it kinda worked out, so it was all good.

>>29032429
> The dudes did travel pretty much fucking everywhere
I hadn't considered this. You might have a pretty valid point there, actually. Huh, /tg/ always seems to surprise me

>>29032393
Please continue. I must know the fate of the Prince of the Wastes.

>>29032393

It had been simpler then. He remembered the smell of stables that morning, the smile of a young woman fresh from the forge handing him his reinforced shield. He could see the shield even now, dying on the field, buried in the muck. It had not shattered, nor shivered, but His arm was too slow to stop the blow.

"Sservice. Yearsss, daysss. Jussst a single thing do I desire."

And He had taken It up on the bargain. So was forgotten Sir.... and so too He became.

He rose from the field that day and hunted down the man who slew him. The blade left in His chest reforged in his own blood, his raiment replaced. Where once sat a golden tree on his breast set a ruby one, with a black hanged man within its branches.

They all died that day. Except for Her. He looked for Her for years after that, in every village forge, every small forgotten thorp across the continent. When mothers held their children to their bosom He rode on, and the brutalities He performed kept Him going.

He found those who remembered Him quick to dispatch, but there were always others. The newest heroes, men who were as He was once, dead by His hands on every battlefield.

And then she was there. At first she did not remember Him, but it had been years, long years. Her hair was the grey of brittle steel, her face as lined as His ancient saddle.

It made a second offer, and He took it rightly. There was no fear in His ever having to pay it.

"Ssshe musst be left whole, purified. Ironiessss, I know, but it issss worth it. A year and a day, and sssshe will be returned to you."

And so He ranged. Fighting his battles, to return to her on a year and a day.

He hid himself as a beggar, romantic in his eyes. She would fear him, his reputation. She had moved on from the village, as His spies had said. Her ancient face had been restored to youth the day of his bargain, and with it her memories.

But the others did not forget.

>>29032656

She had been shunned. A child died the night she regained her face, and cries of witch attended her as she ran. A village long forgotten, she hid there.

It had been there, the place of the First Bargain.

He came to her as a beggar, on a pale horse, plump and round. He pried a shoe from the beast's foot a league away, and as He bound it He thought how silly the whole thing was, how strange.

She saw Him coming down the old road, coming hobbling, a tramp who had found a great beast.

"Well met." She said, the voice He had not heard in so long. The smile He remembered, slightly crooked but all the more beautiful.

"My be... this horse. I found him without a shoe. I fear he may be injured." How long since he had heard his own voice? The hesitancy, deep but slower than others among those forgotten friends.

"Well, we'll see how he goes." She smiled again, patting the nag on the neck and leading it near her forge.

The place was filled with memories. While the stable's wooden beams had long since been burned away the stonework remained, and it was there they hobbled the horse. He helped her ready the horse for inspection, His heart filled with... Joy? At the work, or just being near her again.

"Where do you come from, stranger?" She asked, as their hands brushed as she reached for a grooming brush near her own mare.

"Places. I have seen many lands in my time."

"Too many for me. But a blacksmith's tale is nothing to a wanderer as fine as yourself. That is a fine knife on your belt." She pointed towards the rope he wore, on which he hung a simple scabbard.

The knife. Taken from the Wizard of Greytower. The old man's contemptuous curses choked in his throat, He had stabbed the mage a hundred times for wounding Him. The knife had come clean each time, sealing the wound behind, and so He had kept it.

"I... I found it." He damned himself for the forgetfulness. The ruse was found out!

>>29032901
>guy has plan to sweep the girl of his dreams off her feet
>single innocuous comment
>SHE KNOWS
Classic.

>>29032526
the Dynasty age China was more like the Lawful counter point to the Chaotic Vikings. The Chines could and DID reach everywhere. they completed a around the world trip as well. but the emperor at the time when the ballsy chaptain did it said the outside world is not worth his time and sunk all his boats. Just think of this. If that screw head chose other wise. we would have the Minnisota China men as a football team instead of the Vikings. Mexico would have been an Asian influenced world instead of a spanish one. the USA would dominate Starcraft due to the fact that Korea would likely not exist as it is now. i could go on but you get my point. Both the china and the vikings did rather bad things in the past. but they had a major diffrence in their DRIVE to take over the world. one was defensive, the other offensive stance.

>>29032901

"Aye, and I found this place. No shame in a bit of honest finding I say." Her warmth came over him as she brushed hair away from her face, the horse's foot in her capable hands.

"Will he be okay?" He asked, looking down at the place the shoe had been pried from.

"I think so. I'm not a farrier, but there seems no damage to coffin, lamin, or frog. Did you find the shoe? I could make another, but these are well made, and it would be a shame to put such fine work beside my own poor stuff."

Her frustration, that pout over imperfection. He felt his heart leap.

Then another voice from behind.

"Any work you do is fit for a king, much less a beggar." The boy was of an age with her. He had a strong jaw and fair face, and kissed her on the cheek.

He felt His hands clench as he did when battling an opponent. The young man came forward, wearing a heavy hacking blade on his belt, and shook hands.

"Well met. My name is Darren of Thousand Oaks. And this is my betrothed..."

"Betrothed?" He felt the words catch. Was that the sound of hissing laughter?

"Aye. Darren found me in a... bad time. He's a baker's son, no worries about that sword. He thinks himself a knight. Knight of the Thousand Oaks, he wants to make this place our castle."

"Yes, and feasts for all! No man will go hungry, no child will go unwanted. Where do you come from, stranger?" Darren's eyes looked Him over, the challenge of a young buck seeing another male in his lands during season.

"Oh, he says he comes from Places. Beautiful, that Places. Perhaps he can be a wandering Knight?" She laughed a bit, then must have seen his face and stopped. "I will go to see to this fine beast, go on to find us some supper. Hare stew and fresh bread sounds delightful for a coronation feast. If you can find a priest on the way..." She smiled, but stronger, more sensual as she touched Darren's arm.

"Do you know how to hunt, Sir Someone of Places?" Darren asked.

"I have been known to kill."

>>29033127

The woods around Thousand Oaks were as beautiful as He remembered. The battles that were once there long forgotten by nature, He could hear the game moving ahead of Darren's heavy feet.

"Perhaps if I go ahead, young Sir?" He asked, stripping off his traveler's cloak to the rags underneath. It was far lighter than His armor, and He could stalk through the woods like a shadow.

"You know the whole thing is a lark, right? I am no knight. Just a baker's boy who ran off with a cute girl who needed help. Some men had been looking for her, probably to catch her for some lord's bed. They say she's a witch but a witch could magic up a pot of stew. Mostly she just goes about on that forge.

"I wouldn't mind a brace of quail, perhaps a pheasant. Can you call?" Darren asked, hunkering down. An hour into the woods, and the boy just kept clanking with that silly sword.

"I could call a tune, though it has been long since I hunted more than hen o' the wood." He smiled through his glammered teeth.

He had always loved the hunt. A young, innocent beast, the rush of blood to the heart, the hands, the heat of muscles limbered up, the final stroke.

He called out, and ahead he heard a reply. A finger to His lips, a hand to His side to have Darren clasp the blade. They had to be quiet. Quiet and quick.

He went ahead to flush them, and Darren was ready. Though the boy may not be a knight his hand at a sling was impressive. Two stones struck true, and they went to work on the pheasants near a small pond in the woods. Bloody and the both joking back and forth, He borrowed Darren's knife to do the deed.

As He finished he wrapped the pheasants up in His cloak, and went to wash with the young baker knight.

"I miss it, you know? Perhaps we can go on, after we marry. A child here, in the woods. The occasional merchant comes this way, but we will need to find a witch or midwife for the babe. I know nothing of children."

"You boil water." He said.

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How about a Lawful Good female paladin bent on turning him back to the side of good? They're happily married, but they still have their own jobs of fighting each other as hero and villain.

He builds dungeons and earth-shatting doom engines, she knocks them down and destroys his minions and collects loot, he gets away swearing that he'll finish this next they meet, then later that night they meet at home and have a nice candlelight dinner.

Their kids are just normal little kids, maybe five to ten. They have the blood of a hero and villain in them, though, so they're destined for greatness if their genes and family heritage has any say in the matter.

The youngest is a five year old little girl with a flair for the musical, and she loves books. She even does a bit of standup comedy, and drags one of her brothers in to assist her with her Abbot and Costello act. The middle one always plays the straight man.

The middle child is a stoic young man the age of eight. He is always mixing regents and trying to form tiny rock golemns, and likes conjuring and evocation spells. He uses a small posse of tiny golemns to carry out his various hi-jinks. Despite having a somewhat straightforward personality, he does love practical jokes and often sets traps all about the house. It helps keep his parents' perceptions razor sharp.

The third is a boy with fiery eyes that scream "I'll suplex a dragon one day!" At least you'd hear his eyes scream it if he wasn't screaming it himself. He's a boy on the cusp of puberty at the age of twelve. His body is surprisingly strong for someone so young, and he never bothers using any weapon other than his fists. Even a cestus is out of the question for him because "it isn't the true path that a man's spirit must take to victory."

It's a sitcom(?)

>>29033461
>earth-shatting

I'm not even going to correct myself.

>>29033311

Darren laughed at this, and His hands clenched under the water.

"Yes, boil water, bring rags, then you let the mother or the midwife in. They do the dirty work, and..." Darren paused, looking down at the water.

And then the baker boy screamed.

He looked down into the still pond, seeing His reflection. Not the reflection of the kind traveler, handsome if a bit older, but His true face. The scar from the Knight of Fallowfield, the tooth carved of dragon ivory that protected him from ill humors put in on the Isle of Fevers. And His eyes, His true eyes...

"You, you're..." Darren backed away quickly, groping for the sling. And He was on the boy as quick as a snake.

He broke the bread knight's fingers in one great hand, crushing them much as a hammer across the knuckles. As the boy fought back, striking at His face, groping for a weapon, He put His left hand to His lips and whistled a call. A call of a bird not heard in this land, a cry that many feared far away from this land as they hid in their hovels.

His men had kept themselves hidden. The magus they had hired in Falbrook had laid a fine glam upon them, though He now knew the glam was weak against any sort of reflection. Ten men in brigand's clothes, standing around him.

The boy never stood a chance. The blood ran from his face as the ensorcelled knife plunged deep, pulling out leaving not a mark. Quick, like sleep, the bread knight fell.

"What shall we do, milord?" said one of the brutes He had freed from the pit prisons for his retinue.

He drew quickly. A dead man's weapon, good for another. The strike took the murderer in shoulder, slamming into his rib cage clean, sticking into the top rib.

"The boy had to put up a fight." He said. "For her, you see."

The others saw their share of the loot increase with one stroke, and chuckled among themselves.

>>29033461
>be squire picked up by lady paladin during one of the couple's longer quests against one another
>manage to know nothing of their relationship and fall in love with her
>fight off mooks as the two duel
>BBEG manages to shatter her blade and force her to her knees, leaving her unarmed and vulnerable
>call out to her as the BBEG reaches out with an empty, gauntleted hand, think he is going to finish her off with his magic
>he just tilts her face up and kneels down and kisses her deeply
>I vaguely hear "I win this round Honey" as my heart breaks and the mooks leave to go back to base with their dead dragged along behind them.

>>29033461
Could also work as an Incredibles-esque sorta thing, "what happens when the book closes."

I'd watch it either way.

>>29033461

I'm sorry, but this is completely retarded.

>>29033547

"You will follow with me, on my heels. Give me ten minutes to start. I will carry him with me. And take this... thing." He handed the blade to a young weaselly faced boy, whose face showed signs of the whore's pox.

"Is there anything else?" the magus asked, looking away from the Lord.

"One other thing. For it I will need you. Make sure to not be seen."

___

The body was dead weight, but He had borne heavier. Darren's bloody hand flopped on His back, but He kept going. Worse than a bit of blood from an enemy on your clothing.

She rushed to Him as He came. Her scream was louder than any mother, any lover He had ever heard.

"Darren! What has happened!" She cried, tears streaming down as He sat the corpse on the stable floor. It was then he saw the filmy green light fill the body's eyes, and the voice start to come through.

"Bandits. They took us. Surprise." The voice came out gravelly, imperfect. As she held her beloved's hand He gripped the corpse's head and pressed down, cracking teeth.

"He's having a fit! He was hit in the head as we ran. He struck one down, but then they surrounded us, and I was injured." He looked into the corpses eyes, and felt the burning pain of magic on his back as blood flowed down his side and spine.

The magus was good.

"Oh no! You are hurt! Darren?" She looked between them, indecisive.

"Go get water. He is worse than I." He said, grimacing, rolling to his side. Nine...

The sound of horns. He rose, grabbing the bloody blade he had carried along with him, and went outside.

"Don't! They might just pass!" She said, disheartened and with a touch of fear.

"I cannot leave a maid in distress. Protect him."

He went out into the night. There were eight now, the magus still hidden, and they were ready to play the game.

He had practiced with them on the way there. An elaborate fight, but then there had been ten of them.

And he could see they had not expected what happened in the meadow.

Continue?

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>>29033637
I'm no Hemingway, I'll admit.

Do you just not like the premise? If that's the problem then you really shouldn't take things so seriously.

>>29033734
>continue?
All of my yes.

>>29033734
fuck yeah continue

>>29033734

The first, the thug's boy. Fanatic eyes coming forward, swinging hard and fast with an ax. The irony of this mirror of His last visit here did not leave Him, but He was faster, stronger, and this was just some thug from Falbrook.

His blow took the brute's head from his shoulders, and He smiled at the rest.

Two ran towards the stables, as the others struck out at him. The ugly boy, the sneak, ran towards the woods after the death blow, and He marked the bow-legged manchild for death for abandoning the mission.

They surrounded him, striking out. One came with a knife and lost a hand for it, and He turned the blade's arc with his strength mid-flight, deep into the knife fighter's chest. The blade, fouled on a rib, was stuck, and He had no time for games.

Rushing the next, a man who claimed his cock was more bloodied than even his ax. The brashness of the attack surprised the axman, and as He bit down into the surprised brigand's throat He reveled in it.

The ax was freed from dying hands, and He came forward. A staff cleaved in two along with a head, and then was left the archer.

The archer. They had needed a huntsman, and a poacher seemed useful. When the blade took him in the stomach the poacher mouthed "why?"

"Change of plans. Bad work charging in." He smiled, kicking the body to the ground.

Then he heard her screams.

>>29033949

Rushing to the stable, His body humming. It had been too long since there was a challenge, a deadline, that made him feel this way. Was it her? He made a note to test it. Perhaps more sparring in this manner, some work...

He broke down the door in a fit of rage. And smiled at what he found besides himself.

The taller one, pale as milk save for the healed burn wounds on face and hands, had come first. She had taken him with a hammer, heavy and quick, and the thug had never had the chance.

But the other had been expecting. She was braced against the wall, his hands around her throat, and he had pulled his britches down roughly while trying to tear at hers.

A blur falling from the ceiling, a grunt of pain, and the raper seemed to collapse. She fell into a pile as He came forward, and it was only then that He saw...

The poxy boy. And he had dressed himself back in finery, the only thing he had requested as his cut of the work.

"I dealt with the magus my lord. I kept his bracelets, and a few rings, and a horse..." whispered the rogue. The boy's face showed no fear, and his statement had no bravado, just clearly stated fact.

"Keep the dagger as well. And you have earned a small fortune. But you must be explained." He whispered back, patting the boy on the back.

The boy smiled, exposing jagged broken teeth that somehow fit his weaselly face, and came forward.

"Milady? Milady are you hurt?" the poxy boy said, placing his hands up and touching her softly. "I heard a cry for help, and I came. Are you well?"

She looked up at the boy.

"Lord? What do you mean?"

"Well, milady, you have been saved by none other than the Lord of the Deathfort, King of the Wastes. And I, his noble squire Almin."

"A king?" she said, smiling towards Him.

>>29034234
Hold on, let me get this straight
>we know a girl
>we miss our shot
>sell our soul to restore her youth
>we're still old as fuck
That doesn't make any sense

>>29034234

"Aye, a King. Well, it's not much, but it's home. Milord had thrown a shoe and fearing thieves came ahead to protect us, the fool." Almin looked back, a face somewhere between apology, exasperation, and a frantic request to go with the lie.

"That is enough of your exaggeration. I am only slightly a fool." the Lord said, smiling down. He felt the glam slowly start to fade from him as the magus' passed from the world. "Be not afraid, for I am not the King of your stories."

She stood, smoothing herself, and cinching her laces on her pants. She moved towards Him, only to touch His face, moving over the scars.

"I do not favor kings, but for a man who saved my honor? You are more than welcome to a kiss for valor." She smiled at him, and placed her lips against his as the stunned face of Almin faded from His vision.

___

He had paid another wish for the Deathfort, though it had been a hard fought victory. When His newly won army took the place she brought a touch of love and grace to His home. On every campaign He hoped for an end, but He had his bargain. A hundred services for his life, a hundred services for her youth...

And then they had come.

>>29010601
What about the upstanding warrior hitting it off with the BBEG's daughter who is going through her rebellious phase

>>29034383

The Deathfort was a Golden Dragon. Beautiful to behold, but far too expensive to feed. That was why It had given it so cheaply. Protection? From Him? They were bound, no harm in it, and someday He would be free of It.

But then the rumors. Servants lost in the maze of halls, weird sounds. A place with such a name was known to be haunted, but there were other strange occurrences. Five years passed, and he was off his guard.

The Grand Garden was beautiful, filled with flowers from across the world and kept in stasis by a new magus. Almin vetted this one, and the youth had proven far too advantageous to not keep at hand. Almin kept the rabble away so He could enjoy her time. Languid days in the gardens after a long campaign listening to her sing, warm nights abed... Though if asked He could not tell which he preferred the most.

"I love the smells of golden roses, don't you?"

"Yes, they are quite nice. Though you smell of coal and honeysuckle, and that is fine for me." He grabbed her then, and saw the glint.

The man rushed out, in quiet leathers. The Lord of Light's mark on his chest. An avenger, one trying to set right.. Some monastery? Perhaps when It had had him hunt the Sunchild?

Even with his gifts he was still mortal, and he hesitated. The blade went through her, into him, and they lay together there.

The guards struck then, bolts from the tower, but it was too late.

Almin came quickly, magus in tow, but it was too slow, too late. The cries of battle blared in the halls as He carried her to their chambers, and Almin barred the door with three of his most trusted men while he stayed with the magus.

He heard them outside.

"Ai don' think she gon' make it." Umsch the Vulgar said. The sounds of agreement, then the sound that could only be a hand across flesh.

"Ow." said Almin. "But the point remains. Shut your damned mouth and let the mage work."

"Yessss. Let me work. Five years for a hundred tassssksss? Fair, isss it not?"

>>29034627
Wait so the Beast is a magus who makes shitty deals with the dying?

>>29034706

I left it vague, but I consider it a spirit of death, or perhaps a demon of the Pit. Really just depends.

>>29034627

In His rage he swung at It, and his hands passed as through mist. The Beast chittered, its snaky, buzzing voice quiet as a whisper but pounding in his head.

"What do I have left to give to you, my Lord?" He asked, dejected.

"You ssstill have plenty. But one thing I will take. Ssshe izzz not dead, but between. Will you accept?"

He accepted. And after that day, the Lord of the Deathfort only took off his arms, his duty, when he knew he was safe and the laughter stopped.

____

He recalled as He came to himself, back in the chamber, as The Beast stood before Him.

"Love. Love bringsss me here. A moment frosssen in time. Memory izz a magic, izz it not? I have azzked so little of you, my Knight, and now I come for my due.

"I claimed twice hundred deedzzz, and for protection from you wounding my form. And then, in thiss room, I azzzked for the only thing you love at firzt sssight."

LOVE? I DO NOT LOVE THE CHILD, NO MORE THAN I LOVE THE WOMAN WHO I HAVE LUSTED AFTER, HAVE KEPT MY PRISONER.

"Oh, I have no doubt you lussted for her. Above all other thingzz in creation. Richesss? What are they to you? Did you begin to love her? Oh yesss, do not deny. A man can love a caged thing, though ssshe loved you sssooner. Not azz the baker boy, but love the sssame.

"But thiss child. A clean thing, purity born of death, a love born in ssservitude. He will be a breaker of chainzz, and a great man. Redemption for you. And I cannot have that."

YOU WILL NOT TAKE HIM.

"Oh, I will. You have another, being born now. I will leave sssomething behind. I brought it here for you. Do you not wisssh to zzzeee?" The Beast shook a bag, and from within came the sound of charnel bones and wet meat. "Unborn, a sson more worthy of you."

He looked around, all frozen in time.

"Thiss is a memory now. It is Fate. Now."

>>29034891

The slick, salted feel of compulsion, oily on His mind, reaching for His hands. He felt the chains pulling, and sat the Child down on the table.

"Yezzz... Yezzz... Hussh little princeling don't you cry..." The Beast cooed, and the babe's frozen grimace seemed to move.

And the blade was in His hand then, and he rushed forward. A blade so fine, so smooth, that it leaves no wounds, just pain. The Beast took the blade to the arm, recoiling away as it felt the magicked blade bite deep then come away trailing tendrils of smoke.

A TRICKERY, AND PLANNED. IT ENDS TONIGHT.

The wound was sudden, and broke It's concentration. A baby's cry, Umsch's shocked expression, and Almin on the move. The thief grabbed the babe, running towards the door, and the Beast raised a hand.

Almin's eyes met his Lord's as he slammed against the wall, and He felt sorry as He saw the rogue's eyes show sadness and begging for forgiveness.

The thief began to burn black as shadows wrapped around his throat , and the Lord took the sacrifice for a chance.

The knife turned in hand, striking out. Three stabs to the guts, and the Beast was on Him. They fought on, the Beast's twisted shadowy claws tearing through armor like blades through paper.

"I gave you life. I gave her youth, life, and a child. Before our lassst bargain sshe was barren, a fallow field. Take what you are given, Knight, before I bind you further to my ssservice. An undying Knight, unbound, with an army? I will be a King of Above and Below with my claim."

"Not now." Umsch shouted, rushing forward with ax drawn. The Lord was happy to see the loyalty of his thrall... Before the Bagthing reached out and grabbed the warrior's leg.

"Your child knowsss itzzz uncle. Take him." It croaked, hissing in some terrible speech. Umsch shouted, striking down at the sack with his ax, but was pulled within with a scream and a rush of abattoir wind.

"I will claim what is mine."

>>29035219

With a last desperate thrust the Lord of the Deathfort struck out, deep into the thing's ribs. The Beast reared its heads, screaming in pain, grasping at its side.

Then, it began to laugh, a sound like the chattering of locusts and the bray of a mule.

"I will enjoy taking you fully, Sir Alfred."

alfred?

Alfred.

The memories came. The pain of the ax. The smell of honeysuckle, his mother calling him to supper. His grandfather's hands, his tutor's riddles.

What may not be wounded...

And so he grabbed The Beast. Holding it in place, squeezing. All of his strength, fingers gripping into shadowstuff, grabbing hold.

The pounding at the door, Almin crawling towards him, bluefaced and redeyed.

And then the light.

>>29035402

your story is shit and you should just stop. please stop.

>>29035476
Your complaint has been noticed, examined, pondered, and finally, dismissed. Have a nice day.

>>29035402

"Lord? Lord?" a unexpected voice. Raspy, barely more than a whisper.

Almin?

"Yes Lord. We're here." The seneschal, his royal assassin, gingerly pried at something in his hand. A melted piece of slag metal with an ornate hilt, but the thief still wanted it. "I earned this, and will be keeping it."

What happened?

"The prisoners broke free. Rushed in. It was quite impressive. The barbarian used a sconce and the magus... My precautions against casters will have to improve. Unfortunately, they have taken the castle." Almin grimaced, grabbing at his throat. It was only then He heard the jingling of chains.

How many were lost?

"Umsch is gone, into the Bag. It left It's... trappings behind. Their swordsman lost his head and hands to the Beast, and the priest has been shaking since he banished the Beast but they have hold of the castle."

"And so it shall be until I have some questions answered, sir." said a cultured voice. The magus. Stocky, cocksure, and reeking of some cheap musk, he was dressed in loose fitting armor. A trick that had almost caught Him when He captured them at the gates.

"There are several facts that must be gone over. First, we fought off the demon that had hold of you. Second, your demon killed one of our warriors, and you helped to kill our scout. Third..." the magus paused, "we were unable to rescue your child."

What? Where is he?

"The Beast, as you muttered in your sleep, has taken him. Though I believe it may be wounded. It left behind quite a bit of residue, and Paldo, my savage friend, seemed to have given it quite a blow with that torch."

"Sconce" Almin helpfully added.

"What have you." the magus responded somewhat upset. "Your child has been portended, a birth of great importance. And for that reason we do not wish to harm you or your spouse if it is not"

He pulled at his chains, but the strength was gone.

>>29035755

He felt... Sore for the first time. And he could taste blood in his mouth mixed with some sort of porridge.

"Your bond to the demon seems to have left you, but you are still quite a beast. You were barely conscious, but it took six of our men to put you down and in chains. And for that reason I wish to make an offer.

"Your child is missing. There is no love lost, but I know that a father's bond is strong. We could use this to track the child, and you are renowned as a swordsman. You are older than we would normally take on, but we are short for such an adventure."

Adventure?

"On the morrow we go into Hell, and I wish you to be at my side. Nataniel Hoarfrost. Welcome to the Guild."

And if I refuse?

"Make no mistake, I will kill you. You're strong, and may have some residual power behind you, but an axe through the neck should do it. We will even allow Almin to come with us. The Shade of the Evening would be welcome as we will no doubt come across trickery."

But you could retrieve the child...

"Alfred. She has named him Alfred. And while we could, you still carry the demon's stink about you. You were It's man through and through, and it wafts off of you according to the priest. You will fight, you may die, but we will bring your son home." The man held his hand out to Sir Alfred, once Lord of the Deathfort, King of the Wastes.

And then they began to plan.

**END**

It's what I got. I may continue it at some point, may not. If anyone wants to put it together in some way be my guest. How did you like it? Any questions, comments? Concerns?

>>29035898

could you rewrite and make it less shitty, and less deus ex mangina?

He makes her laugh.

>>29035898
Ignore this >>29035987 ass.
Honestly? it's good, but not quite descriptive enough. The plot is mostly lost to me beyond the broad particulars. It by and large seems to make sense, but moment to moment things get confusing, and I'm certain there are details I missed.

>>29036257

Well, bit of a rush job. But thank you for the input.

Bump for storytimes.

>>29012539
Looks more like Syndrome form The Incredibles to me.

>>28996026
He's married to his former warlord.

>>29017468
>>29014797
Contextually loki has fucked a horse.
Or rather been fucked by a horse.
And many other fucking shit.
I doubt he's even into woman or sex anymore.

>>29041542
Roger and the lesbian elves disagree with you.

File: 1387826382295.jpg-(25 KB, 500x340, Ladd_and_Wife.jpg)

25 KB JPG

>>28996026

You know, all of this talk and not once has pic related come up. Ladd is your textbook amoral sociopath. He's also affectionately engaged with his strange hostage/girlfriend. Why? Because Ladd can be genuinely good with people. He's just only good with people who have less that their share of qualms with murder and the like.

>>29042225
Ladd wanted to murder her after he murdered everybody on the train. I don't think you can have a BBEG who's happily married to some lady he killed.

>>29042262

If you listen more carefully to the dialogue, he talks about not just killing the people on the train but everyone in the world who is some pompous enough to believe they are safe from him. Until the death of innocence and pride, he wants to keep her safe. Effectively, he is saying that he wants to spend the rest of his life with her and until that time, she isn't allowed to die.

>>29042262
He wanted to kill her after he killed everybody. As in all the people in the world. And she was down with that.

>>29042555
Yeah, the thing is she knows he wants to murder her (and everyone) and is completely, totally, 100% okay with that.

Bitch is crazier than he is.

>>29041542
As I recall he's fucked a fire giant that nobody remembers and had like 2 kids, the frost giant Angrboda but it's a toss up for who pushed out which kids, and then there's Sigyn who he had twins with.

Also he seems to have slutted it up in midgard and popped out a bunch of halfbreeds and it was common for orphans to claim that lokes was their mother and daddy dears ditched them upon learning this.

>>28996026
My BBEG met his S.O. when he needed to abduct the princess of the kingdom (because reasons).

More or less at random he selected this washerwoman or fishwife or some such peasant toiling in the street, and offered her the opportunity to be a princess.

He transformed her into the perfect likeness of her beauteous highness, and gave her lessons in the skills and decorum needed to become a passable lady of royal blood.

One thing led to another. I *think* her affection is genuine, it certainly wasn't necessary to secure her place on the throne as a puppet leader. But nonetheless it probably falls into the category of;
>bitch is a gold digger out for his power

>>28996026
I was going to ask OP for some more guidelines, but then I came up with a nifty scenario for the generic cliché BBEG setup. I'll type it up and post it if anyone is interested.

>>29047757

Go for ti?

Ok, I'll be back with some darjeerling.

>>29047757
>>29048728
Start with your basic storyline, but skip to the end.
>Aging, noble, and wise king has found an heir in a young hero who saved his eldest daughter, the kingdom, from the evil manipulations of the former vizier.
>The young betrothed couple remain in love as they go on adventures saving the kingdom from various threats.
>But who will now serve as vizier?
>A young, handsome, and bright noble steps up to humbly serve, and is very good at his position.
>What of the king’s younger daughter? She is free to court as she chooses, but somewhat resents her older sister’s permanent position over her.
>The new vizier runs the daily business of the country while the king-to-be continues to have brave adventures, proving his worth as a champion, but never learning anything about how to run a kingdom, and the older princess is only a little better. The vizier grows worried about his future having serve such fools.
>The vizier’s continued efforts to increase the law and security of the kingdom are always thwarted by the Princess’s consort’s “ethical” concerns, citing that measures that could prevent crime and disasters are not needed as HE is always there to stop the crime and disasters.
>The vizier remains loyal on the surface, but endlessly seeks a way out of his fate to powerlessly clean up after this fool.

>>29049792
continued...

>The only light in his days of service are the family lunches. More often than not, the Fool and his Princess are absent, off adventuring, usually defeating, but failing to kill a local necromancer. These lunches allow him to enjoy the pleasant company of his kind, if somewhat naïve, King and his younger, more charming daughter.
>One day, an opportunity arises after the incredibly gifted, but madly arrogant necromancer once again fails in an attack on the city. While being held hostage, a few choice words plant the seeds in the madman’s fevered mind to attack the Baron of the neighboring allied nation.
>The attack badly wounds the leader, and the vizier suggests a royal convoy to aid their ally. The young Princess leads the reconstruction efforts after the necromancer’s attack, proving her worth and winning the hearts of both the neighboring barony, and the ailing baron himself.
>The Baron asks for the princess’s hand in marriage, and the wise King reluctantly accepts, knowing that his daughter’s heart truly yearns for the vizier.
>The young princess marries the Baron, accepting that the people of the Barony need her strength.
>Unfortunately, after despite the vizier ensuring the King send the finest healers, the Baron dies.
>The young Baroness is understandably distraught, and needs help running the barony, and asks for her father to send the vizier to aid her, after all, her older sister and her consort should be able to manage the kingdom, right?

>>29049823
concluded...

>The vizier becomes Chief Advisor and Warlord to the Barony. His decisive actions quickly lead to the capture and “rehabilitation” of the necromancer, who now practices his dark art under close scrutiny of mages loyal to the Baroness.
>Aided by new, undead forces, the Chief Warlord finally defeats the rampaging ogres on their far border, but rather than kill them, he unifies the tribes under his chosen ogre, a powerful, yet clever man-beast who is now one of his Lieutenants.
>The victorious warlord is given the highest honor he could ever hope to receive, the hand of the woman he has loved for many years. He donned the sacred, ceremonial black spiked armor worn since ancient times by the Barons of this land.
>He has become a Baron of a fine land, enjoys the love of a beautiful, wickedly clever woman, and can finally put into action the brilliant plans he has held onto to establish order on this lawless, magic torn land.
>The streets are safe in the Barony. No law-abiding citizen need fear any bandit or monster.
>The only ones who need fear are their enemies upon their two remaining borders. He had terrifying plans for those that threaten the flourishing of his people, his land, and his legacy.
>But, his ally, the old kingdom never needs to fear. He would never seek battle with them, just as he would never have risen to power by harming the father of his darling wife.
>Sure, he fantasizes about the day when he finally can crush that fool Prince, but the kind, old King cares for the fool. And his sister in law has never done slight against him. So he waits for the naïve old King to pass and the perfect opportunity to arise.
>For now, he takes joy in the fact that the Barony’s celebration over the birth of his son and heir dwarfed the pitiful wedding of the Fool Prince and Princess.

>>29048071
bumping for a drink with german bread