Hello Boners and welcome to Chapter 5 of the McStab saga!We are currently using a consensus style of decision making, and all rolls must come AFTER the decision has been reached. No rolls count until I request them.Twitter: @MrBonesQuestArchive: http://suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/archive.html?searchall=text+adventure
>>28760108Make the observation the letter makes the situation sound dangerous, and we'd like some compensation if he's going to be putting us in harms way.Maybe we'll even help instead of faffing about with slime girls if he offers enough.
>>28760209I'll take this for now since it isn't a massively important decision but still useful.
Rolled 17>>28760108Hey man, I'll start positng once I've caught up
>>28760209Seconded, we aren't a hero and we don't work for free, doesn't mean we won't help if the price is right.If the price is hot druid chicks he can tell us when Lily isn't listening.
>>28760288>Free spirited hippie sister DruidI can dig it.No I can't, it's too early in the day to fap.
>>28760314Sucks for you, over here in bongland it's half past five, I'm done with work for the day, and I can fap all I want.
>>28760314>Not saving every fapfic for later use.It's like you want to participate in an implied online circlejerk or something.
>>28760232>>28760330'ello mate. 'ows it goin'? Bit chilly rite now eh?
>>28760345>>28760330oi m8s notha brit erewe bong thread now
>>28760345Colder 'n a witches tit, innit.
>>28760345To Enton, then.I'd like to contribute to your strange weather discussion, but I can't mimic your dialect.
>>28760373>>28760377Tell me 'bout it. Bloody Cameron and his Big Six forcing me to live in a bleedin' igloo
>>28760416If no one else is up for posting we go with this.
>>28760469I second it to get things moving, nothing could possibly go wrong with McStab knowing fire magic.Nothing.
>>28760486What if he tries to make a fire golem?
>>28760493Can we put our dick in a fire golem?Protection from Fire is a spell, right?
>>28760493Oh god, the memories.
>>28760673Truly, this is our moment.Our calling.We must save this village.I'm afraid we'll have to sate the lust of every single harpy ourselves. Selflessly.
Rolled 14>>28760673Throwing knives.
>>28760673I'ts... beautifulno really i bet we could make some money recording this
>>28760673My god, even Jack couldn't fuck that many harpies into submission... probably.I know this hasn't worked out so well for us so far, but perhaps we could try to negotiate with them. I mean this is a village full of lonely druid men, and this is a flock of horny harpies. Rather than all just rampaging in here, why not suggest that the two come to an ongoing agreement.
>>28760736Put our charisma to work in a way the doesn't involve seduction? I'm iffy, but I'll back it.Too many to kill, anyway.
>>28760727>>28760745There's a hundred of them, we will die.
>>28760727>>28760745throwing knives>>28760736>>28760750negotiationI'll wait for a little longer then ask for rolls.
>>28760750Well, we could always take part in the first "cultural exchange" as a sign of good faith.
>>28760736No way we can fight all of them, so this sounds like the best course of action.
>>28760759Too many to fuck, too many to kill, no magic.panic
>>28760777Maybe we could convince the Harpies to engage in conventional relationships with the village men?
Ok negotiation wins.Any particular approach? Who do you talk to? How?What's the offer?
>>28760795Something along those lines, sure. As long as it stops the ongoing rape-fest.
Rolled 14>>28760834The matron is obviously the one with the widest child-berthing hips and the largest child-feeding tits.Seek her out. Offer... I dunno. A mutual exchange program in which they get semen without fighting for it, and the men have normal sex instead of being raped?Fuck, someone help me.
>>28760854Im pretty sure the leader will have great childrearing hips and a chest like a washboard
>>28760854>>28760910Well, if negotiations fail we can always go back to doing what Jack the Stabber does best.
>>28760976I have a certain feeling that you aren't referring to his namesake.
>>28760854Sounds good to me.
>>28760986I believe you are working with a slightly inaccurate definition of 'The Stabber;
>>28760986Well, it's LIKE stabbing...
>>28761004At least in this context.
>>28761034I just realized that I only proof-read AFTER posting the image.
>>28761034abridged:Hello, give leader please, please do not kill, thank you
>>28761034>Who are you takingPrincess stays on the boat... bug... thing. I doubt the Harpies like human women.I'm not sure if the slime girls would be useful in this scenario. I'm not even sure why we took them out of the sewer.>Preparations???>HowSneakily. We're a rogue, right? Sneak.If we're seen, they'll try to rape us anyway.
Okay so just arrived, can I get a quick recap of what's happening right now?
>>28761125Or, we can remove our pants and show them what a FINE SPECIMEN OF MANHOOD we are. Matron gets the choice cuts, doesn't she?Let our erection guide us. It knows the path.
>>28761130see>>28760108 pic+ we are saving a village from a swarm of harpies, particularly our druidbro's 15 year old son.Feel free to go off and catch up on the archive.
>>28761125>I'm not even sure why we took them out of the sewer."Human" shields if I recall very little other than magic or extreme heat/cold would be able to kill em.Useful to get em to slime down a few guardsmen to make an escape or threaten someone, but this isn't one of those scenarios.
>>28761125>>28761130Well which of these is better? Vote or add someone else.
>>28761209Give me a minute
>>28761125Actually I can imagine the slimegirls are vital in this scenario, IF the matriarch is joining the fray or if we can get her to do so.It'll be tricky, but yes we'll need to sneak around. The slimegirls must come along.If we can find the Matriarch in the sky, or taunt her into coming after us, when she swoops we duck and kersplat. Slimy matriarch.Then before we're ripped to shreds, we threaten her with knives to stand down the hundreds of other harpies.
>>28761209>>28761229Leave the princess and the slimes, they dont like human women and the slime girls wont be much use against monsters if it isnt combat Bring the druid, and offer him to the matriarch to sweeten the deal, then give her THE D
>>28761209We should probably make sure that (i've forgotten his name) the druid is okay with our plan to convince the harpies to be more peaceable.I mean just because he doesn't want it for his son, surely there's some guys around here who would be more than happy to agree to such an arrangement.
>>28761242>Bring the druid, and offer him to the matriarch to sweeten the deal, then give her THE DDruid won't go along with that, he just got finished saying how he didn't want that.
>>28761125>I'm not sure if the slime girls would be useful in this scenario. I'm not even sure why we took them out of the sewer.I can think of at least four reasons. Five, if you count handjobs.
>>28761234That actually sounds like a plan. We'd need to find the matriarch and taunt her though, and manage to hide the slimes with us.Do they have jars or vases here in the village?
>>28761269I want to make a highlight reel starting with this post
Rolled 8>>28761034It's simple.....we fuck our way through
>>28761234>>28761272>Sneak>Find jars and hide slimes under coat>Challenge/taunt Matriarch>Throw slimes>While down, threaten to stabby stab unless she tells her army to back down
>>28761323Looks like this is the consensus.Writan'
>>28761292I'll take that as a compliment.
>>28761256he wants to save his son, if not then knock him out
>>28761498Proceed with the plan. We ain't no Paladin, and we're not so short-sighted as that.Besides, stopping the matron means stopping the Druid's son from getting raped.
>>28761498The son is the only way we'll find the matriarch. We'll have to follow where they take him.
>>28761579Voting to follow the rapetrain.
>>28761498Follow the screaming boy to matriarch
>>28761498Let the harpies take him to the matriarch, but stay out of sight.
>>28761558>>28761579>>28761607>>28761608>>28761639We are agreed, then.
Ladies and gentlemen I am sorry but there will be a minor delay.Captcha has driven me insane, and must be punished
>>28761695I wouldn't mind a further delay to properly punish capcha.
>>28761695The bitch was asking for it.
>>28761728Maybe capcha can be our kinky test subject to bring Mr Bones out of his vanilla shell
>>28761909Oh capcha, when will you learn.never I hope
>>28761909Captcha quest when?
>>28762010It'll be a part of Anon in the Internetland quest>You have encountered a Virus!>What do?>press the d key repeatedly
>>28762128>used goodsbounce and save the kid
>>28762128Knock her out, full on facepunch, we don't have time to fuck about and we can't afford to have her raise the alarm.If we can do this without attracting attention, continue to shadow the other harpies to the matriarch.
>>28762128Shit, we still got that flashel right?Now would be a good time.We cannot be slowled down like this.
>>28762157>>28762168>>28762188So flee, punch or flashel?Decision time.
>>28762204flashel that dirty ho
>>28762204Punch.Fleeing and fleshels would raise the alarm. Punch at least gives us a chance to remain stealthy.
>>28762204http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=poDaiYKJFlo0:25Throat punch throat punch throat punch throat punch
>>28762204Punch that bird
>>28762280throat punch so she can't scream for help.
>>28762227>>28762280>>28762282>>28762310ROLLI TAKE THE NEXT ONE
>>28762327Honestly it's a wonder Jack made it to adulthood without tripping over and breaking his neck, given his luck.
>>28762344His bad luck seems to always involve girls for some reason.>geas by a princess>tried to stab an angel>captured by slimgirls>and a lamia, which also ended with us leaving her.Capcha: ingslyf woodcock
>>28762370I guess it's not surprising, considering that we have a 50% chance of a fuckup every time we act.
>>28762370His bad luck involves fighting women.He has great luck fucking them.
>>28762399Just like Mr Bones!
>Mister Bones dies to Mermaid Queen and her army of mermaids>Jack McStab just fucked up dealing with the Harpy Matriarch and her army of harpiesIt's been nice knowing you, Jack.
>>28762438ThisMr Bones rests in his coffin, protected eternally by his loyal guard and wealthy international brothel running family.With knocking noises still coming out of it.
>>28762480ITS NOT OVER TILL THE FEATHERED LADY SINGS
>What do you do?>>28762370>>28762386>>28762399>>28762417>>28762438I can promise you Jack will not live a long life, but a harpy who just wants to breed ain't going to kill him. She will fuck up your plan though, and give you a -2 to resisting harpies through charisma or physically.
>>28762516Well, on the brigther side maybe our Harpy son/daughter will carry on the Mcstab bloodline.
>>28762516Well dang. That ain't a penalty we need right now. But we can't stop here. We got a boy to save
>>28762600>We got a boy to saveYou sure about that?The plan has gone tits upWe're at a rediculously significant advantage.Remember, we ain't no paladin.
>>28762516Damn, well, let's get moving, if we see something we can use to cover up on the way, take it. Not that I'm concerned about modesty, but we need something to hide the slimegirls under. Maybe a cloak, if they wrap up around us tight.Ooh, or baggy trousers, because where better to spring a slimegirl ambush on the Harpy Matriarch from then out of our pants.
>>28762642Too sticky. Plus, their giggling or something might give us a away.
>>28762642I just like the image of the matriarch tearing off Jack's pants and slimegirls erupting from his crotch, like some bizarre rainbow bukakke.
>>28762639You know, if you just post a "nah, let's not do that" rather than an alternate suggestion, it doesn't really achieve anything, right?
>>28762777Well if we're still doing this apart from slimy trousers, which could work, the only other alternative is getting her to chase us through an alleyway with the slimes ready to ambush.
Keep tracking the boy to the Matriarch then?
>>28762898Yup, and see if we can't scrounge up some clothes for the slimes to hide in.
>>28762898Yes, and looking for some discarded trousers we can wear to hide the slimegirls under.
>>28762898>>28762923>>28762918Yeah,being naked would just attract to much attention.
>>28762898>>28762923Or more pots.
>>28762939>>28762923the slime girls can compress but really can't hide in clothing feasibly. They don't have perfect control over their shape, and you would likely be rendered immobile if there was thick sliming all around your limbs.
>>28762958Fine then, look for pots, to hide in our trousers.
>>28762958Shoot, maybe stuff them in a sack? Or more pots if we can find them.
>>28762958Then if we cant get more pots, we do the alleyway trick. Or something.Just get them to follow us as close to the matriarchs place as we can, then hide em in a good ambush position.
>>28762958What if we put two into new jars and have the third wrapped around our stomach under a shirt?
>>28762958>look for more pots>No pots? Follow on foot stealthily>When reach a point where slime can't walk without being seen, hide them in ambush>Get matriarch to chase us
>>28762994You have no idea where you would find a pot. Do you want to go searching for some?>>28762995A sack will be obvious, but they won't know what's inside.>>28763016I may have implied some sort of scaling that isn't quit right. Petal's mass is almost equivalent to your own. The difference being her body ends in a pile of ooze far thicker than yours, similar situations for the rest to a lesser extent.The younger slimes cannot control their ooze sufficiently to form legs.
>>28763099Hmm, we could try bluffing.Get a sack and filled with slime and pretend it's a live harpy.Threaten to kill it, and only trade for the boy.Then when she opens the bag and gets a slime surprise, we pounce?
>>28763196Good idea, but don't forget she ain't alone.I wonder, we could flashel the bunch of them and take the queen hostage in the confusion. Then talk terms.
>>28763269That's a great idea>Fill sack with slime>Bluff harpy hostage>Trade back to them>Opens bag, flashel, slime queen, knife to throat , threaten them all to stand down
>>28763099Or we could walk away and, you know, not get killed.
>>28763319Hey now these Harpies just want to breed. Their not filthy mermaids.
>>28763319But where's the fun in that?
>>28763370>>28763374I present to you the true murderers of Mr Bones.
>>28763317>>28763269Well hey if noone's gonna think of anything else I'll back it
>>28763396Mwahahaha!But seriously if you guys want to hang your heads and leave, yeah why not
>>28763418Looks like we are executing >>28763317I will write the first part now.
>>28763432Sorry guys I gotta bounce. We will jump straight back into the action with the next thread, which should be wednesday but might be tomorrow.Good Night! As usual, leave suggestions, questions or criticisms here and I'll get back to them later.I will be around in the QTG on and off for a while too.I'll just archive this thread.Don't forget to follow @MrBonesQuest for times!
>>28763831Thanks a bunch OP, hope we make it out of this increasingly sticky situation.
>>28763831God damn Jack, you are such a failure, we didn't even roll.
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