>>28588794

'It's a pity you missed the funeral, Mister,' your, uh, driver says. 'It was a very big event. Everyone in the scene was there, everyone.'

'I see...' ought you be sad? Your great-uncle - you haven't seen him in years and years, and even before that you weren't really close. Actually, that's what makes the call even more... disturbing. It must be about three or four days after he passed - that's when you got the call, saying you would need to take a little trip to the City.

And then comes the email with your plane ticket, paid for, as well as the advice that someone is waiting for you. Yes, you probably should be a little sad.

'I'm sorry I missed that. It's just, we haven't been in contact for some time.'

'Oh, no, Mister, I totally understand. I'm sure Fourth Master would understand too. Should we perhaps go and get some offerings for the old man?'

Offerings? Oh yes, damn. You don't have any of those.

> Go get some simple offerings - joss sticks and fruit.
> Get more lavish offerings, flowers and tea and what not.
> Wait, you want to ask more about this trip before going to see Great-Uncle.
> Other.

>>28588850
> Go get some simple offerings - joss sticks and fruit.

>>28588871
> Go get some simple offerings - joss sticks and fruit.

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>>28588871
>>28588977

You stop over at a shop, where with the help of the driver, you get some bundles of incense and some candles. 'Fourth Master loved fruit. Especially pears.'

'Great. Let's get some pears then.'

'Oranges, also.' He sounds like he's rattling off his own preferences, but sure.

'Should I not... perhaps get something more?' You turn to look at the driver, sizing him up a little. He has the straight shoulders and build of a pugilist as well, someone who like your great-uncle practiced a lot of wugong. 'Flowers, maybe? Some liquor?'

'Oh, Fourth Master quit drinking a long time back! It's okay.'

Getting out at the cemetery gates, you are joined by a man and a woman, both very well dressed. They take you to the gravestone, but it is clear they're not just fellow mourners, and they're not family. After you do the required rites, arrange the fruits and all that, you turn around to look at the suit-man, who returns your look with a little nod-

-and then moves into a high fighting stance.

'Steve, please, this is a cemetery!' The woman chides.

She didn't point out that you don't really know any wugong. Great-uncle taught you some stances and exercises, but does that count?

> Well, point it out yourself, then.
> For impudence like this, you must reply in kind. Get in stance.
> Other.

>>28589079
I choose option one, everybody loves kung fu fightan

>>28589185

Doesn't option 1 mean you don't want to fight? You're pointing out you can't fight. So you don't fight.

>>28589079
>> For impudence like this, you must reply in kind. Get in stance.

>>28589202
Oh, option 2 then.

>>28589079

> Draw. Shall I roll to determine?

>>28589079

>Well, point it out yourself, then.

Might as well be honest with him. If he still wants to go at it, might as well give it a shot and hope we don't get pummeled too badly.

Rolled 15

>>28589273
I Shall

>>28589295
>>28589185
>>28589202
>>28589221
>>28589224

You look at the young man's stance as he smiles at his female friend. 'No, it's fine. It's exactly what Master would have wanted.'

'You said yourself that you were just an unofficial student...'

'Shhh!' Hmm. Well, official or not, his stance definitely looks the part, a slightly wide horse stance you have seen before. You know the stance too, and instinct tells you to get into it and meet the threat head on, especially before your great-uncle's tombstone. Well, someone like him would have been glad to watch a fight, dead or alive.

But wait a minute. If this Steve actually knows how to fight... 'look, uh, Steve? I don't know if you're aware, but I've never been taught how to fight before.'

'Oh please. Master must have taught you *something*... no?' He blinks when you stare back at him, then looks to the companion. You look at your driver, but he is standing before the tombstone with his joss sticks, completely oblivious. 'No exercises? No meditation? Nothing?'

Well... you have been taught exercises. And meditation as well, in certain strange positions. But you haven't done those for a long time...

> Demonstrate a routine to show him. You're not fighting, but you want to show what you're capable of.
> Say nothing. A true student hides what he has learned carefully.
> Other.

>>28589396
Kungfu fight is to be demanded, Option 2

> Say nothing. A true student hides what he has learned carefully.
> Only less "hiding" it and not wanting to lead someone else into thinking you're even halfway towards proficient when the best you know is how to stand in place right.

>>28589396

>Other

"Well, maybe some exercises, but it's been practically forever since I've bothered with those; things just kept popping up whenever I had the thought of practicing, eventually I just pretty much gave up trying."

>>28589396
>> Say nothing. A true student hides what he has learned carefully.

SHOW NO TELLS.
>conquest nothUn
Yes, Captcha. Yes.

>>28589587
>>28589538
>>28589475
>>28589470

You think this over. To be sure, you... can't say you know anything anymore.

Then again, given how arrogant this Steve's challenge sounds, you're not about to *admit* you don't know anything. Thinking this over for a moment, you arrive at the best answer you can - a smile, and then a shake of the head.

'...right,' Steve says, clearly disappointed. But before he can say more, the woman comes up to you, her smile framed and made more alluring by her bright red lipstick.

'Sorry. Don't mind my boyfriend,' she says, which is a little bit of a disappointing revelation. 'I'm Mila, and I'd just like to read to you some of the conditions that your great-uncle set forth when he... wait. Were you informed about anything by him or any of your family? Inheritance matters? Anything?'

'No. I was just about to ask, really - I mean, I was given a ticket to come here, and...'

> cont'd.

>>28589786

'Ah,' she nods. 'Yes, well. You see, the thing is, when your great-uncle died, in his will, he left you his residence, out in the Lotus Ponds neighbourhood.'

Residence? After that little drive through the City, and your previous experiences, the image that floats into your mind is one of chicken-cage like environments, cramped rooms and tiny halls and dark hallways. If great-uncle left that to you... well, what on earth are you going to do with that? But then if that's the case, why be so secretive about it?

'Residence.'

'Yeah. In Lotus Ponds.'

'Is that, like, in the City?'

'Oh yes. But it's quite nice, really.' Mila nods, and then takes out a small sheaf of papers for you, which you look over as carefully as you can. Ever since you rented a room with a leaking roof and got tricked into releasing the landlord from responsibility, you've been paranoid about these things. But... as far as you know, this all checks out. 'Your great-uncle only had some verbal conditions for you, that he'd like you to give your work of honour, before you got the house.'

'Yes?'

'First, he wanted to see the deal being done, which is why we're here. Secondly, he said he wanted you to take good care of the upstairs library in the house.'

... Wait. Upstairs. Okay, no, now this changes the calculation somewhat. 'Okay...'

'Third, he would like you to live in the house. And fourth, he would like you to practice your exercises and meditation diligently.' Mila smiles again. 'Do you think that's acceptable for you, mister?'

> Say something to Mila or Steve before signing. (Write-in)
> Sign it, let's go see the house.
> Other.

> Put off signing it before you get more details. As things go, you might end up not even wanting to sign it at all.

>>28589922

> What would you like to ask, specifically? Mila and Steve should be able to help, but you can't get answers without questions.

>>28589922

Seconded

>>28589967
Jeez, I don't know, some basic details would probably be nice at the very least. I mean, we've literally just arrived, and suddenly this residence is getting shoved in our face? And we're gonna be given it, only we HAVE to take care of the library, and we HAVE to live there and we HAVE to do meditation and exercises? What? What?

I mean, we just got here! And maybe we don't even want the place! We haven't even SEEN it! Why is this Mila person here acting like us accepting is a foregone conclusion?

It really grinds my gears!

>>28589967
Can we at least see the property and residence before committing? If that checks out then maybe we can make a move.

>>28589856
Just sign it and check the house...

>>28589922
>>28589971
>>28590013

Acceptable? You... we... they... Mila takes a pen from her breast pocket, clicks it and holds it out to you as if you're already going to sign this, which annoys you even more. Wait a bloody minute, you say (internally), you haven't even seen the library or the place at all, so what if it's a shithole, and-

'Well, look.' You know your way around hot girls in suits, and a lot of it involves being polite. Actually that's kind of a general rule, suit or no suit. Try to phrase this nicely... 'um, see, I do appreciate the offer, and it all sounds good. But I haven't really seen the place, and if you expect me to sign this, then well...' you chuckle. 'It's just that I've rented some places of my own, you know? Been burned before?'

'Oh right, you want to see the house, you mean?' Mila's face pauses for a few moments before she reacts. 'Oh, no, definitely! Wait, Uncle Marco, I thought you'd already-'

'His flight was late,' Uncle Marco says, finally planting his incense and turning to look at you. 'So I couldn't bring him to see the house before coming round to meet you.'

'Right, right,' Steve says. 'Right, no, let's go see the house then. Come on, mister.'

> cont'd.

>>28590095

Your great-uncle's residence... well, you have reason to be concerned. The last time you visited him, when he was already about 60 but still physically fit as a horse, he was living in one of those chicken-cage flats you had been thinking of. In fact, it wasn't even such a flat; those flats are actually *in* the apartment buildings, whereas his place was really just some crudely erected concrete walls on the roof of the apartment. Like a slum hut on top of more slum huts.

'It's withstood a typhoon! It's fine!' He said when you went in, clearly sensing your apprehension. But the place was full of rats and it didn't take a typhoon to make the place leak.

So apprehensions were completely justified. But the drive to the 'residence' almost seems designed to alleviate your concerns, one by one. For one, instead of heading into the city and its cramped nightmare, you're heading *out*, towards the New Districts with their relatively countryside feel.

So maybe it's a farmho- no, it's not a farmhouse, since you drive into a suburban area. Oh great. A subur- no, it's not here either. 'Just up ahead,' Mila says. 'It's a lot more convenient than it looks, really. By rail it's a lot faster than by road!'

'That's nice to know.' You soon see the rail line, but then drive past that too. Finally it's a short, narrow path upslope, before you finally lay eyes on your inheritance. 'Wait, this is it?'

'Yep!' Mila smiles and opens the door for you.

> cont'd.

>>28590172

'It's, uh...' You stand just within the gate, surveying what's around you. A chest-high, white-painted wall surrounds a rectangular compound. Front yard with low gardens and rather long grass. 'Wait, I really meant, all three buildings are it?'

'Oh yes. The entire compound, mister.' Mila seems to be relishing your surprise, and points to each of the buildings. 'This,' motioning to the three-storey building in the centre, also painted white and tile-roofed, 'this one's the main living area. That one on the left,' a low, long and wide space with a metal door, 'garage, of course.'

'This on the right?' The right building looks like a cottage, connected by a walkway to the main building.

'Oh, dining space and kitchen, of course!'

'That's not a dining space, Mila, that's a house by itself.' You walk up, slowly, gravel crunching underfoot as you go to the window and look in on two large, round tables. You... wait, wait, WHAT? WHEN did great-uncle buy this place even? This is... *fantastic*.

'Well, what can I say? Master used to love entertaining guests. Every weekend it's two full tables and eight courses with soup.' Steve says, patting your shoulder, and then Mila comes up as well, fishing something out again. Oh, not pen - keys.

'Anything you'd like to see inside in particular? It's fully furnished, trust me.'

> Look at the library.
> Look at the bedrooms.
> Look at the dining room.
> Just give me the pen, I'm signing it.
> Other.

>>28590243
>Full house tour.
Gotta find the skeleton(s) in the closet(s).

>Full house tour.

God, I hate this place already.
Fucking rich bastards.

>>28590243
>> Look at the library.

>>28590243
>Look at everything. NO STONE UNTURNED

>>28590243
> Look at the library.

Oh, man, I just had a thought. Can you think of what the upkeep cost for a place like this must be? We might have to sell the place just to keep it.

>>28590285
>>28590259
>>28590329

'Right, okay, right.' You step back, watching the jangling keys. 'So you're saying that if I sign that paper, this entire house...'

'Will be yours, mister.' Mila shrugs. 'Believe me, I understand what you're feeling right now. It's a bit too good a deal. But then again, your great-uncle was very much respected throughout the City, and I know many people here who would sign that paper straightaway knowing that Fourth Master was bequeathing them stuff. And he *was*, a lot of it.'

'Nonetheless,' you say, 'I'd like to see the entire house.'

Mila nods and unlocks the double door, and you enter the vast living room. Couches, TV... well, yeah, this checks out. It's a little bare - probably most of the stuff that's movable has been given away, as Mila said, leaving behind empty closets and cupboards. When you turn to the fireplace, however, you see something that brings to mind many of the things great-uncle stood for.

Next to the fireplace is a wooden rack, holding up several weapons used for practice - a spear with red tassels, a long sword, a Pudao, a halberd and a Guandao. You stand there for a few moments. The old man was a fighter all his life; these were his most treasured things...

'It's a little bare. But furniture checks out, I hope.'

'Oh, yes...' you see that the TV switches on as well. This place could probably seat 15 or 20 people really... what a house. The stairway is beside you.

> Move on upstairs.
> Stand and reminisce. You were pretty close to him, given the rare visits.

>>28590556
>Stand and reminisce. You were pretty close to him, given the rare visits.

Obviously.

>>28590556
>> Stand and reminisce. You were pretty close to him, given the rare visits.

> Move on upstairs.

Next.

Also

>I know many people here who would sign that paper straightaway knowing that Fourth Master was bequeathing them stuff.

Why does this feel insulting?
It feels insulting, but I can't put into words exactly why.

>>28590556
>> Stand and reminisce. You were pretty close to him, given the rare visits.

>>28590648
Depending on tone it could be a backhanded "What, you too good for his shit?"

>>28590648
>A starving child in Africa would happily eat your broccoli, Billy!

>>28590706
Yeah, that's it. That's it! Fuck this woman.
We got all this dropped on our back literally minutes ago and she's pissed off we don't immediately sign up for the mandatory exercise program and being made look over someone else's library?

Fuck you, woman! Fuck you.

>>28590543

As a guy who lives in a largish country house with a family of 5 (me included). I can tell you that large houses:

Need lots of labour to keep the grounds clean.

Need lots of heat to warm it during winter (just to keep the pipes from bursting)

Need round the clock vigilance and protection from thieves.

It's really a guilded cage to be honest.

The only reason why we still hold onto it is because it's the only thing that remains of our family history. It's really hard to keep together and we occasionally have to sell stuff from it to pay it off, especially since property tax.

The only reason why you'd want one is if you had a secure source of income as well as companionship. It ain't as easy as signing a contract I tells you what.

>>28590653
>>28590648
>>28590635
>>28590603
>>28590706
>>28590716

The little sense of being insulted by Mila's words comes to you, though you don't really understand why they sounded offensive. Certainly she didn't mean it... you can tell that by now. Wonder how much commission she has riding on you signing the paper?

Maybe it's just because she assumes you'd jump at a bequeathment like most people in the City. But she probably meant that your great-uncle's name was good enough that people would trust him. Need to take some rhetoric classes, lady...

Your great-uncle's good name. Well, you certainly knew he had a good name, and from personal experience he was always such a generous man. Since it was a long flight to see him, you only did it once or twice every year, and you can remember the scenes on his roof-top - people coming by to practice or spar with him, or just lots of old, formidable-looking men coming to drink tea. Lots of visitors always.

When there were no visitors, he would teach you exercises and reward you amply if you could remember the moves properly. Perhaps due to that system, even now - eight or nine years on - you can still remember the moves easily. Hold your hand like this. Loose fist. Thrust! Parry, sweep, elbow up. Keep your shoulders level. Resist the temptation to close your stance, to advance too quickly, or to strike upwards. 'The head is what we're always staring at. But the body is where the fight is won.'

Sometimes he would really train you quite hard, too, three or four hours of routines and exercises. 'Want a massage to loosen the tendons?' He would then say, after leading you back to a lovely dinner of roast duck.

> You let him massage your back, of course.
> Uh, no, you didn't.
> Other.

>>28590795
>> Uh, no, you didn't.

>>28590766

> All that is true, except (thankfully) for the heating. The climate of the City is relatively mild.

> But yeah, cleaning and gardening the place is a nightmare. This place looks a lot cosier and smaller now that you're inside, though.

>>28590795

> You let him, of course.

We trusted him then. If he was a pedo, we wouldn't even be here, right? Do you take a long flight to visit someone who molested you?

>>28590795
>> You let him massage your back, of course.

> Uh, no, you didn't.

>>28590834
Sometimes you don't understand until afterwards, though. A long time afterwards. You think back, and you suddenly put two and two together that that doctor was touching you for too long for just a routine check-up, or that that distant relative put his hands beneath your shirt a little too often...

>>28590795
>You let him massage your back, of course.

We trusted him, and it's good for you after some exercise.

>>28590928
>>28590889
>>28590844
>>28590834
>>28590805

> Seems like a draw as well...

>>28590965

Yeah, this. Don't want to be all stiff and exhausted.

>>28590795
>You let him massage your back, of course.
No homo was called before and after, of course.

>>28590795
>> You let him massage your back, of course.
We always called out no homo first, so its ok.

> Fine then!

You always lay, face-down, on the rather rough bed and let great-uncle massage your back, and he always made sure you had your clothes on. 'You probably ought not to tell your Mom about this. Your Dad would know, of course, because he's had this treatment as well.'

'What treatment is this?'

You feel two knuckles, gently pressing on your ribs between shoulder and spine. First the knuckles move in a line, up and down, then circle around the spot where they first landed on your back. Okay. This feels quite nice, and-

KRK.

'ARGH!' You shriek into the pillow as the fingers suddenly sink into your flesh. It's not just a pain that happens when someone presses or punches you; instead, as you lie there and his knuckles keep up the pressure, the pain seems to spread through your entire body, step by step and slowly. 'OWW! OWW! STOP IT!'

'Shhhh. Try to focus on the routes by which the pain is travelling, boy.' He does nothing, simply keep up the pressure. The agony lasted some ten minutes, but after it washed away eventually, you feel... lighter. Easier. Like your body is more under your control.

The subsequent times it didn't hurt as much, and you managed to pay more attention to the routes of the pain. Oh yeah, it does have routes. Spreading down your back first. To the hips, where it clots and circulates. Then your solar plexus. Then up to the shoulders, neck, the cranium. Outwards and downwards to your limbs. 'What... is this pain?'

'It's the way your energy flows, son. You'll find it useful later, I hope...'

> cont'd.

>>28591146

And everything went better than expected.

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>>28591146

Chuckling softly to yourself, you turn and start when it turns out Mila is standing next to you, looking at the weapons. 'They're pretty fearsome-looking, aren't they? Are they all real?'

'I presume so,' you say, trying to hide your slight irritation with her. Yeah, hot and all, but firstly, boyfriend so you can't do anything, and secondly, she *is* quite obtuse. Still, she shows you up to the second floor, and you follow behind her nicely swaying hips, which makes things a little nicer.

Well. The master bedroom is nice, and there are four other rooms as well, each different in size - two pretty large, two relatively small. 'There's just one of me,' you say, peeking back into the master bedroom with its wooden floor and king-sized bed. 'See, this all seems a little excessive...'

'Oh, the renting market in the City's great. Don't go through estate agents, they're just bloodsuckers. I'd know, I was one.' Mila stands at the door. 'The location being what it is, you should have no problem finding tenants. Train station's just over there, about 10 minutes' walk; halfway to there, is a bus station, for areas in the New Districts. Covers a lot of ground, then.'

Okay... well, the bed's nice. Closet's got no skeletons in it. Heh, see what you did there, hehe...

ANYWAY. The crown jewel of everything, however, is the library upstairs. There are two other small rooms, both of which are empty - 'you can do what you like with them' - but the library... three floor-to-ceiling shelves, each one at least eight or nine metres long, and *all* crammed with books, illuminated by the window and skylights.

'Beautiful, this place. My favourite part of the house if you ask me...'

> Woah. How do you react? There must be like thousands of books here, and many of them look valuable too...
> Go ahead, ask or talk.

>nicely swaying hips
Our protagonist's a creeper, innee.

>Why so much attention given to the library in the agreement?
>What's with the mandatory meditation and exercise?

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>>28591348

>>28591348
I think our jaw hits the floor and we just stare at all of those beautiful books for a moment before we can talk straight again.

"Wow, it's downright gorgeous.

How many are there? Do any of them need special care due to age?"

>>28591348
remind me again, what's mila and steve's relation to our deceased great uncle?

>>28591454

Steve says he's a disciple. Mila's just his girlfriend, apparently.

...You know, with upkeep of the place, AND taking care of the library's content specifically, AND having to exercise and meditate dilligently, I hope we didn't have anything else we wanted to do before we got yanked here. Like a job, or a hobby. Or...anything.

Because time? Ish.

>>28591473
>>28591454
>>28591432
>>28591420
>>28591416

You can't do anything but stare at the books for what feels like an entire minute, looking them over. Many are in English; many, also, are in Chinese. Good thing you still kept up on your reading skills, then... but then they seem to be in old, classical Chinese, and *that* defeats you.

'Dear me,' you finally find the words. 'This is gorgeous, this is very nice.'

'It's apparently Fourth Master's greatest and most precious possession, really. As you can see, the room is very well taken care of. Dehumidifier and everything.'

'Good thing it is, then. Any special upkeep required? I mean, if great-uncle put it in his will that I have to maintain the library, just how much work is that?'

'Oh, he just wants you to occupy the house really. And make sure the library is in one piece. But since he didn't catalogue it - he just *knew* the books were here, I guess - so maybe categorising them might help with that. Unfortunately I can't help you with this sort of work.'

'Does he just not want me to sell the books or something? I mean, not that I'm considering this, but...'

'Oh, that of course. That he said quite explicitly. But I assumed you wouldn't, in any case.'

'How about the mandatory meditation and the exercise thing?' You sit down at a fine, wooden armchair. 'Also, a place like this must have quite a bit of upkeep...?'

'Well. In Fourth Master's will, there is provision for hiring three cleaners and one gardener. No cook, unfortunately. We've taken the liberty of hiring them, they come around every week to just sweep the place out. Of course, once there's people living in it, they'll have a little more to do...'

The implied question behind Mila's words is clear. Steve simply stands there, admiring the library.

> What do you do now, protagonist? This... this is almost too good to be true. But the paperwork Mila offers checks out.

>>28591588
Do we have a basement? Should we check that out?

>>28591588

Everything seems pretty on the level. I'm down for signing the papers

>>28591588
How exactly would my meditation and practicing be enforced? Is there going to be people checking up on me or something?

>>28591661
>>28591706
>>28591713

'Is there a basement in this building?'

'Not as far as the plan tells me. I should think not, though.'

'Also, when great-uncle's will said he wanted me to continue my meditation and practicing the routines... he meant those routines he taught me, yes?'

'Of course, mister.' Steve comes up to you. 'Whatever he taught you, Master wants you to continue practicing. He says it will come a lot more easily to you now, of course, and that it'll be worth your while.'

'Okay. Not that I'm thinking about it, but... is someone going to check up on my meditation?' You smile. 'Like, is there a provision in the will for an examiner of exercises or something?'

'My, my, no...' She laughs at that. 'I'm afraid that's more than our jobs' worth. I think the Fourth Master meant it more as a sort of gentleman's agreement, you know?' She then turns the papers and takes out her pen again. 'I'm afraid the City is less trusting, but still...'

> Sign the papers. It seems they'll be gone after that.
> Other.

> If you sign the papers, what will you do now, you new houseowner?

>>28591869

Sign papers, dance around in joy, take train to city, pick up someone.

Then look for renters.

I think...I think we had better not sign the papers.

There's just something about this whole thing, some all-encompassing hinkiness that's been present from the get-go. I don't like it. I think we had better retreat back to our everyday life before we get caught up in something beyond our control.

The overbearing attitude this woman's had isn't helping, either.

>>28591899
agreed

>>28591869
>Sign the papers.

We Landlord now.

>>28591899

second this

>>28591869
> Sign the papers. It seems they'll be gone after that.

Ask them what standard renting prices for a place like this would be. Mila used to be an estate agent, she can give us a good ballpark figure. We don't want to go into this blind.

>>28591901
ghosts?

>>28591949
No, just a feeling like we're standing at the edge of the highboard with everyone below hollering at us to jump, only they've underfilled the pool quite spectacularly and they don't plan on letting us know before we're halfway there.

>>28591901
Agreed. Let's sleep on this. I mean, the papers will be there tomorrow right?

>>28591936

This is sensible, yeah.

>>28591936
3rd this.

Seriously? You look at the pen and the paper. This is... a little dubious. Maybe even more than a little. You're hardly three hours away from landing at the airport, and now you're going to become a homeowner?

'Look, Mila, it's not that I don't trust you,' you say. 'It's just that... a lot of alarm bells are ringing, you know? Natural alarm bells?'

'Mister, trust me, I know.' She places a hand on your wrist. 'It's just that Fourth Master, your great-uncle, was really quite insistent that you should have the house. Thing is, when he was ill and already bedridden, there were many people who would rather it be given someone, or somewhere, else. And one day when your great-uncle was resting here, they were downstairs having an argument.

'And the old man, who hadn't been out of bed in two weeks, personally walked down stairs to the living room. No one even noticed him, and no one said anything when he was there, they were so shocked. And he said... well, I shan't say it, but Steve was there.'

'Master said, all rivers know the end they're flowing to, and all trees know where they stand,' Steve said, his arms crossed, suddenly serious. 'And that all men must therefore know their lot and their destiny, and how to treat things properly. And then he said that the house was yours. That's the lot and destiny.'

A deep, restful silence permeates the library. 'Three days after that, Fourth Master passed away,' Mila said, softly. 'He was such a nice person. These were his.' She shows you the two jade bangles on her wrist. 'So you see, he really wanted to give you this house. It's not that we're forcing, but...'

'I see,' you say. The pen feels heavy in your hands as you sign the papers.

> cont'd.

>>28592158

After you sign it, Mila and Steve shake your hand in turn, and then she gives you your copy of the contract. 'Please, I hope you enjoy this house. Fourth Master certainly did.'

'I think I will, it's a really nice house.' You then ask Mila about the usual renting price for a place like this, which might be considered quiet and a little out of the way; she leads you downstairs and looks over the rooms. This time she paces them quickly, her eyes darting one way and another, looking over the furniture, the walls, floor.

'I'd say... that for about 1,200 a month, the two bigger rooms should be easily rented out. The small ones, probably around 800 each. Of course, depending how confident you are, you can give or take about 10 percent...'

She also tells you where you can go to put up the room and find some tenants, and then gives you her name card. 'In case you might need help of any sort.'

'Sure.' And then, with more handshakes and waving, you see them to the front and- oh wait. Uncle Marco's gone, as is the Lexus. But when they walk out the compound, you also see a namecard at your doorstep. It's Marco's.

... well. This... has been a weird day. Still, it being early in the day, you feel reasonably energetic. Maybe it's time to see what the City has to offer. If it really turns out not to be worth staying here, then surely you can sell it somewhere...? Would that be heartless? Hmm.

> Let's go to the train station after Mila and Steve are off.
> Let's see if the local bus route goes anywhere interesting.
> Actually, let's put up the notices online first. A house like this needs upkeep money, so you better get some renters quick...
> Other.

>>28592237
so, by 1200 a month, are we talking Dollar or yuan?

>>28592237
>> Let's go to the train station after Mila and Steve are off.

>>28592237
> Let's see if the local bus route goes anywhere interesting.

Get used to our immediate area first.

Well, we no longer have a life that is our own, so.
> Actually, let's put up the notices online first. A house like this needs upkeep money, so you better get some renters quick...

>>28592237

Start training. We said we would keep up with it, no sense in not starting now.

>>28592237
>> Actually, let's put up the notices online first. A house like this needs upkeep money, so you better get some renters quick...

Need income, then we can relax and do what we want. Could even offer in meetings that a portion of the rent be reduced for doing work around the house.

>>28592237
>Actually, let's put up the notices online first. A house like this needs upkeep money, so you better get some renters quick...

promontory.craigslist.com/rooms for rent

Then >Might as well start getting to know the library. If it was Great Uncle's most treasured possession it's worth knowing in at least some detail. Also general "getting aquaintaned with a new house" and "oh my god I just moved into my own house I need to cancel my lease" and all that other shit.

>>28592237
Put up some online notices. Also, did we have a residence already? If so we might want to get out of that contract

You were living at your Mom and Dad's, so thankfully you don't have any leases to cancel. This is definitely something to call home about, though. Mom isn't at home, it seems. 'Hey.'

'Dad? Um, okay. You might want to sit down.'

'Go on, son.' So you do, talking about going to the gravestone and meeting Mila and Steve and then going to the house and then, uh, and then getting the house. To your surprise, though, Dad - who is usually a little dramatic about things - seems completely unperturbed.

'Mm. Right. Mmm. I see,' he says, throughout your entire exposition, and when it ends there's a long silence. 'It's a nice house, right? You'll enjoy it?'

'Dad, not the point! I've just, uh, inherited a house! What do I do?'

Another long silence, and then - did Dad just sigh? But before you can ask, he continues talking. 'Well, I'll take care of things on my end. You might want to get a bank account and everything settled, of course. You've got cash to use?'

For some reason this entirely unperturbed approach actually does work. You feel a little calmer now after talking it all out and getting a shrug. 'Yeah, I'm fine for a while.'

'Tell me if you need anything, yeah?'

'... okay.'

'Also, son, practice. Be sure to practice what great-uncle taught you.'

'... sure.' You hang up. Oh wait a minute, what? How did Dad guess that condition...?

> cont'd.

>guess
Okay, calling it: There is some serious behind-the-scenes bullshit going on here, and I don't like it further than I can spit.

File: 1385882805933.jpg-(73 KB, 809x1171, rt_hnd_ld_dummy.jpg)

73 KB JPG

>>28592480

After hanging up, you look around the vast hall. Okay, you really need someone else in here - if not for the money, then for the companionship. Actually, that's... that's a good point. Not that you'd need it, of course, but it's a useful place to get close to people, you bet.

FIRST THINGS FIRST, though, and you run upstairs into the vast master bedroom when you realise there's a closet you didn't open, behind you. Unlike the others, this one is aged and wooden and heavy, and just about the right size for a skeleton. Holy shit. This isn't like the stairway to the basement BDSM dungeon or something, right?

... oh. It isn't. If this was anyone else's house, you'd say it was just as weird, but for your great-uncle it makes perfect sense. A mook jong! The practice dummy's arms and legs are all weathered from use, but - you give it a hard shove and watch it rebound and shudder. Yeah, still works.

Heh. Taking your laptop - you travelled quite light, with just that and some clothes - you soon realise that there isn't an internet connection here. Oh yeah. Well, the phone will do. It takes a long while for you to get a simple notice typed out, but soon you have photos uploaded and a contact number too.

... better not take pictures of the mook jong or the weapons in the hall...

> Right, that's done then. People will come and ask, hopefully.
> So, what do now? You could explore the bits of the house you haven't seen yet, or go out. It's sunny outside, but with clouds in the distance...

>>28592648
Explore the house more.
Lets get familiar with what we'll be renting out.

>>28592648
>> get modem and router.

>>28592648
Get internet set up or explore the house.

>>28592648
>Go into town.

Let's go shopping for essentials.

>>28592648
Let's explore a bit and then do some exercise.

>>28592648
Get comfy in the house. It is, after all, ours.

Can't be scared when it settles.

> Right, that's done then. People will come and ask, hopefully.
> Look into getting an internet connection.

>>28592648
I think we should get information on the bills and what's going to be owed. Also internet and cable.

>>28592736
>>28592725
>>28592708
>>28592689
>>28592682
>>28592676

> Explore house, get internet.

You check up who to call to get internet, and a machine voice informs you that you need to head down to any NetOne retail shop to speak to the customer consultants. WHY THE HELL DO YOU KEEP THE LINE THEN!?

But there's no use yelling at a machine operated voice, so fuck it. You quickly find that in the Lotus Ponds town centre, where there are three large shopping malls and a restaurant district, you'll be able to find a NetOne, so that's not so much a problem...

Later. Later. Let's look at the house first. Going through the walkway, you end up at the dining hall, which is indeed as it looks from outside. Uh, duh, of course it does, this isn't the Tardis. Two large round tables, and a smaller, long table; there's seating for maybe 25 or 30 people, really. The kitchen is *huge* - it's got an oven and six hobs, and a full sized fridge and another full sized freezer.

Electricity bills could be excruciating. Better get the renters in stat. Or maybe... what, find a job here? You always heard that the City has very few restrictions on employment, but then... anyway, nothing in here is stocked, so you'll have to go out and eat. But first, the garage-

> cont'd.

>>28592810
>Cable

Nah, cable is a rip off anyway.

>>28592825
I agree, but I'm sure the tenants would like it.

>>28592821
Huh, speaking of jobs, maybe we should work at a library? or perhaps a bookstore?

>>28592825
But muh HBO and late night cinemax softcore!

>>28592821

As fluorescent light floods into the cavernous space, your jaw drops. This... this isn't a garage. It's got no space for cars. It looks like one, but the looks are all a lie.

This... is a dojo.

Half the room is covered in ground mats, slightly lowered to be level with the ground, forming a good sized sparring ground. On the opposite wall are racks - of weapons, spears, broadswords, but also of training implements, like stone barbels. Next to the entrance is another mook jong, and more weapons and tools.

The fans overhead hum into life, and it seems a bit remiss to be here and not to do a little practicing. Man, this place is perfect! A cool breeze makes you feel nice and comfy, and you go upstairs to change into your gym kit before coming back down again. Okay. So what your great-uncle taught you...

You can remember several routines that he taught. Some are aggressive, some are defensive; some focused on projecting power, others on training suppleness and speed. And then there's the footwork, so much footwork.

'Like a dragon in the water, come on!' His voice, ghostly, resounds in your head as you walk to the centre of the routine section. 'Swirling... fierce, but not straight. Come on.'

> Roll d100, if you're practicing.

> Practice your footwork.
> Practice your attacking routine.
> Practice your defensive routine.
> Do some proper stretching.
> Nah, actually, leave it.
> Other.

> I'm guessing after this you'll be off to the shopping mall for lunch and internet?

Rolled 95

>>28592923
practice footwork and defense

Rolled 84

>>28592923

Rolled 28

>>28592923
>Do some proper stretching.
>Practice your footwork.

We're not going to get renters with thighs like THAT.

Rolled 22

>>28592946
Whoops, didn't copy.
> Practice your footwork.
> Practice your defensive routine.

>>28592923
While we're exercising, can we get a decent description of our main character?
I presume we're male, from our focus upon the realtor, but at the moment we're suffering from a fatal case of h-game protagonist syndrome.

>>28593054
does our character have a name? I don't remember seeing a name.

>>28593098
Landlord.

>>28592940
>>28592946
>>28592953
>>28592961

> 95: Great success!

Right. You look down at yourself, loosen up a little and stretch some muscles. You've not out of shape, not by far; even at home, between your part-time jobs and being a NEET of sorts, you do plenty of running and swimming. It's just something that's come easy to you, it feels like - the sense that your body is easily at your command, or that pain is easy to push away.

Okay. Let's do this. You start with a simple defensive routine, remembering that your great-uncle called this the 'Sweeping Route'. Indeed, the moves are quick parries and diversions, meant to lay the ground for pushing an opponent off position before finding an opening to counter-attack. After one run, you realise you can remember the whole thing quite easily, which is encouraging; and you go back to position and do it again, two more times.

Good stuff! This is almost like muscle memory, of a sort. Now let's combine it with footwork... great-uncle's footwork was always famous; you would watch him go through a routine, at his usual super-forwarded speed, and his feet seemed to simply carry him everywhere without fail at great speed. You've got none of that of course, but the basics are also there to your mind. Dart step. Shifting step. Slide, circle. Open step. Big swirl, Inner swirl...

How do you even remember how these things were called? This is amazing! You grin after a few more dry runs, and then - woah. Your gymwear is completely soaked through, and when you sit down, fatigue runs through your body in tremors. Oof.

> Excellent - you remember most of your stuff, still.
> Do you intend to keep to the condition great-uncle set, mate?

> Go to the Lotus Ponds centre to get your shit done.
> Have a little nap, you're shagged. Not literally.
> Head into the City itself (Peninsula), see what it's like there.
> Head into the richer districts (Promontory).
> Other.

>>28593143
keep to the conditions Great Uncle has set for us.

>> Go to the Lotus Ponds centre to get your shit done.

Also, should we come up with a name, or do you plan to reveal that later on?

>>28593143
>> Go to the Lotus Ponds centre to get your shit done.

>>28593143
Sure do, being fit is a great thing, even on its own.
Head to the lotus ponds centre for now, then maybe check out the city afterwards

>>28593143
it would be dishonorable to not at least pretend to please Great Uncle.

>Take a shower, get changed, to get our logistics shit taken care of. Hopefully they defer first month's payment.

>>28590928

STOP BRING UP MY FUCKING REPRESS MEMORIES ASSHOLE!

>>28593197
>>28593190
>>28593172
>>28593264

Stepping into the shower, you have a quick wash, and then another stretch to loosen those hard-worked muscles. Well, you say hard-worked; you've been practicing for all of half an hour...

You used to be a little more built than you are now, though the outline of your pecs and abs are still visible in the mirror. Reasonably strong. But well, perhaps not strong enough. You're not so sure about the meditation and what that would entail; sitting in one place for an hour is... is *boring*. But exercise?

'I'll do the exercise, great-uncle, sure,' you mutter, towelling yourself down. Damn, there's a zit on your chin. Air travel does that to you. Right? IT DOES. SHUT UP.

Heading for the train station, it quickly strikes you how... how *quiet* this house is. It's almost as if great-uncle built it specifically to be a little isolated. After all, from the entrance of the compound, all you can see is a slight rise in the ground and the many trees that surround you, from which birds chirp and everything feels very tranquil.

Walk just twenty paces down the driveway, however, and you are looking down on street after street of semi-detached houses or terraces, stretching from the start of your driveway to the surrounding foothills. There must be thousands of people living round here, and you can easily ignore them...

Intriguing choices, great-uncle. You walk to the train station, which turns out to be a slightly run-down affair, four platforms and a bridge. Just two stops from the centre, though, which is nice. The crowds, however, are not so nice; you navigate and force and slip your way through them, squeezing into an elevator that brings you to where the NetOne store is.

... there's about 30 or 40 people in the queue. You approach, unsure whether to join, when suddenly a cheery girl, slightly shorter than you with hair done in a braid, comes up to you. 'Hello, sir, anything I can help you with?'

> What say, landlord?

>>28593343
Yes, you can thank you, I live at wherefuckingeverthemansionwaslocatedat and I need to get some working internet.

Maybe cable too, if you guys agree, and they do that here.

>>28593343
Use our new homeowner magic and get that combo cable/phone/internet installed!

But none of that copper wire, Great Uncle would want us to have 10gbit fiber.

>>28593343
"Um, yes. I'm trying to set up a working internet connection at my new house. Anything you'd recommend?"

>>28593343

"You could stand here and let me admire you. But helping with internet's nice too."

Let's see if charm works.

>>28592263

Woolongs!

>>28593393

I support this currency.

>>28593393
As if, scrub. 1200 pieces of Imperial Jade.

>>28593404
1200 Taels of silver

>>28593417
Credits

>>28593417

白銀 1200 両!

>>28593417

1200 silver shekels.

>>28593425
1200 Silver Jots

>>28593371
>>28593385
>>28593389
>>28593390

You return her glance and she reflexively looks down for a split moment. Aww, that's a cute gesture. Then again, salespeople out doing stuff - they're kinda meant to move stuff with cuteness, so...

Let's see if you can pull the same trick. 'Well, yes, actually. I was just wondering if maybe you could help me with setting up my home internet.'

'Oh, right, yeah sure!'

'And when I said you, I kinda meant you.' You nod at the queue. 'I'm in a bit of a hurry, so could you be kind?'

Her face is a mask of confusion. Shit! But just as you think you might have blown it, she nods, gives you a broad grin, and then glances around. 'Ah, I think there's a counter over there, maybe if you'd like to follow me...?'

Reeesult! You sit down and watch her type stuff into the computer. Here comes the questioning - name, address, telephone number... 'Actually, you could probably get a package deal with your mobile and broadband access. That comes up to around 60 bucks a month...'

You have no idea if that's a good or bad deal. Wait, broadband? 60 bucks? And a room is 1,200 bucks? Hmmm... meanwhile, she brings up the map.

'Ooh, that is a very nice part of Lotus Ponds!' She says, contemplatively.

> What do/say? Charm seems to have worked, somewhat.
> You check the package deal and see some elements you might not need. Maybe you could haggle a little...

>>28588794

Just catch up with the thread, great start, good hook. You got yourself a reader.

>>28593535
Keep the sports and premium channel and HD cable packages, since we can pass those costs on towards the renters'.

Besides, how else will we keep up with all our favorite shows and teams?

>>28593371
If our tenants want cable they pay for it themselves.

>>28593535
roll for haggling?

>>28593535
We're going to want to make sure we've got fast internet, we'll have a number of roommates on it and we can pretty much skip cable if we torrent stuff and hook a computer up to the TV.

Look through the packages, see if we can haggle it down a bit.

>>28593563
I don't think cable companies work that way.

>>28593535

> If you want to haggle, roll d100. Saying nice things will add bonuses to the roll.

> 'I could twerk for you if you give me a better deal' is not one of those nice things you might say. Just to be very clear.

Rolled 25

>>28593578

Rolled 56

>>28593578
I'm for keeping the premium channels, sports package, HD package.

Basically covers everything.

Rolled 3

>>28593578

Rolled 63

>>28593535
>>28593578
I'm not a very charismatic person, but I'll try.

I appreciate the time a pretty cute girl like you has given me, but that seems like a bit much. I'd rather not have wasted your time but don't you think you could cut it down a little?

Rolled 13

>>28593535
>>28593578

Rolled 42

>>28593578

Rolled 8

>>28593578
How gauche would it be to try and work the sympathy angle by mentioning we inherited from our uncle who just died?

>>28593578
"Surely we'll be able to strike a better deal for both of us miss. See, I'll be a regular customer, considering that I'll have plenty of tenants at my place soon."

>>28593143
>and his feet seemed to simply carry him everywhere without fail at great speed.


Did they not, then? Was he actualy moving slow as a turtle, or perhaps grew wings to carry him?

>>28593616
No

>>28593625
Better

Rolled 41

>>28593578
"Yeah, its a sweet place. View's great, there's loads of space. Fancy as hell. Maybe, when you have time, you could come over and have a look?"

Rolled 37

>>28593636
Yeah, I like >>28593625 more too.

Rolled 41

>>28593578
"Internet only please. Cable is not required."

File: 1385887617440.gif-(3.03 MB, 200x200, mexican_stanblargghaara.gif)

3.03 MB GIF

Rolled 33

>>28593625

Dun goof'd.

>>28593578

"It is a very nice house, yes. Maybe you could come round when you finish work?"

>>28593648
We should keep cable. It's better to offer too much than too little, and if nobody wants it we can get rid of it later.

Rolled 79

>>28593616
oh fickle dice gods, you are our only hope.

> Let's just say you guys are lucky this is an opposed roll.
> 63 + 10 vs. 7: Seven. SEVEN! What does she see in you?!

'Well...' you put the card back on the table, and then take a peek at her computer screen. Oddly enough she moves as if to shield it. What, it's not like you're watching porn right this moment...

Okay that might be quite disturbing, but also a little attractive perhaps. Maybe it's best you head for the logical angle. 'Well, it is a nice place, yeah. Quiet and peaceful, but just a short train ride away from you.'

'Eh?'

The hell? 'Did I say you? I mean from here.' Goddamnit. 'Anyway, I was thinking, some of the cable channels might be unnecessary for me. Would it be possible to maybe shave them?'

'Well, I could remove cable from the package, perhaps...' she's blushing a little now. You consider what to say next... oh yes.

'Hmm. I think I'd like cable, but you see, since I'm becoming a landlord, I think we could have a lot of repeat business if you gave me a good deal. It's just that I need the internet, you know. Big house, spacious, and lots of users...'

'Is the house really big?'

'You can come see it after work, if you like,' you say with a straight face. Nice straight face wugong there, mate. She blushes even more fiercely, and looks down.

'Well... I think I can give you a basic package with fewer channels. That'd be like 50 bucks a month...'

That's not much of a discount. Meh. Then again, it isn't that expensive to begin with...

'Also, I could... waive the installation fee, which is 70 bucks.'

Aww, now that's better!

> What say you to the deal?
> Say anything else to the serviceperson, you?
> Also, anything else you'd like to do in the mall after handling this? It's a big mall, you can probably find just about anything...

>>28593763
>> Say anything else to the serviceperson, you?
ask for her name and give ours. What is our name, anyways?

>>28593763
"Are there any forms I need to fill out? Because I can fill out an extra, if you want to keep one for yourself."

We agree, btw.

>>28593763
Take the deal, and introduce ourselves. Ask her if there's anything she'd recommend someone new in town see.

>>28593763

"That's a great deal. Thanks sweetheart."

Might as well keep the momentum with our charm.

>>28593763
Smile, "That sounds great." Then "I'm [name], by the way"

>>28593763
Maybe I missed it, or if it is unclear, is this just for television services, or for home phone/internet access as well?

Do they even offer that?

>>28593763

When can we get our mobile?

>>28593839
We have a mobile phone, don't we.

>>28593847

Yeah, but we need a local phone number.

>>28593788
>>28593798
>>28593813
>>28593814
>>28593818
>>28593825

'Well, that's lovely. Thanks very much,' you smile, watching her blush slowly dissipating as she nods and continues typing. 'So this is for the television, as well as home phone and internet.'

'And your mobile phone as well...' she reaches down and gets a sim card, putting it down.

'Well,' you turn it over and push it towards her, 'now you know my number I guess.'

'Oh, I... yeah, I suppose I do, eh?' She laughs, hand on her mouth.

You take the time while filling in the application forms to talk to and flirt with her a little more, and she seems quite receptive. Apparently Lotus Ponds is quite a quiet area, not much to see... well, there's plenty of sports, a stadium, there's also the Lotus Pond Park. When you ask her name, she doesn't hesitate to tell you she's Sandra.

'Nice name,' you say. And she gives you a name card, with her mobile number on it. Well, well, you say as you take a risk and reach to shake her hand. Looks like you still got it...

> Internet settled. Some dude is coming in two days later. (Two days later! Sandra must have pulled a string there too... bless her.)
> Meanwhile, what do? The mall is an 8 storey monstrosity, bookshops, restaurants, gyms, shops, more shops, yet more shops, another shop over there... if there's stuff needs buying, you should find it here.

>>28593919
let's get some flashlight and batteries. You know, in case of a blackout.

>>28593919
What's our cash reserve at? We're going to need to actually furnish the common areas of the house, as well as Landlord's room.

Probably going to be taking our meals outside/delivery until we get that cook brought in.

>>28593919
Let's stock up on food. I doubt there's any at the house.

>>28593958
Yeah, I'm with this guy. We need some supplies.

>>28593957
We can cook for ourselves.
>>28593958
Food is a good idea

>>28593958

Groceries are important, yeah. Can we cook?

>>28593983
I certainly hope so. If not we should probably make sure one of our tenants is a good chef.

>>28594005
Or hire one...

>>28594023
aren't we kind of tight on money?

>>28593919
Get some lunch. We haven't eaten today, and we've had a long day so far.

No need for anything fancy.

Do we have anything back home we should arrange to be shipped over here, like a computer or a car or something?

> Well, you've got about $200 left on you in cash. But as Dad said, you could probably ask him if you need help. And hopefully once the tenants come in, it'll make life easier.

The hypermarket at the mall's bottom floor is a surging, swirling nightmare of people, rushing up and down the corridors and reaching for shelves. This is not any sort of crowd you've experienced back home; the city isn't small, but it isn't *that* big either.

Grabbing a basket, you move headlong into the rush and get swept up. Shit! Okay, groceries is that way... veg is over there... swimming like a fish in a huge shoal this way and that, you eventually manage to get some veg and meat to cook with, as well as a torchlight, some batteries, and some sauces. Oh wait, you forgot the bloody carbs!

A bad feeling attends you as you fight your way towards the pasta and rice section. Oh wait, your phone is buzzing. Managing to find a little niche where no one's rushing around, you take it out to see a text message from someone called Charlie.

'Hello! Just saw your notice for a room for rent. Is it still on? Can I come see tmr? Charlie xx'

... Huh. Charlie is of course a guy's name, but the two kisses are a little... interesting. Still, a good thing - 1,200 bucks a month is nothing to scoff at, optimistically.

> What say to her?
> Also, roll d100. Most of your stuff is bought, the cafe is upstairs... but the bad feeling persists.

>>28594029
We're already paying for gardening and a maid staff. What's one more retainer?

Besides, we're looking at around 4,000/mo from the renters, in addition to whatever position Landlord himself holds down.

Mortgage on a home this size in a quiet, urban area is probably 3-5 thousand/mo, but that assumes that Great Uncle has it mortgaged, and not paid off entirely. Something to look into, that is.

Rolled 40

>>28594069
Yes, it is still available.

Rolled 16

>>28594069
Tell her sure.

Charlie is a unisex name anyways

Rolled 77

>>28594069
"Sure. Meet up at my place in the afternoon and we'll talk."

Rolled 49

>>28594069
>Let 'em come.

Rolled 14

>>28594069
>What say to her?
>Her

sure he/she can come have a look.

Rolled 16

>>28594069
Why's there always gotta be trabble.

>>28594069
Yes, it is still available.
What time are you able to come?

Rolled 26

>>28594106

>>28594069
by the way, is this thread archived?

Rolled 73

>>28594069

I swear to god this is going to end in kung-fu shenanigans, but let's roll

>>28594136
Let the OP archive it when he's done so he can put the proper tags and stuff.

>>28594069
Tell her it's still available. Give her the details she needs to know and ask when she's planning on coming over.

>>28594069

> 77: lucky, lucky you.

As you stand there with the phone, you can sense that something bad is definitely heading your way, even though you have nothing to back that up. But you know better than to not trust your intuition; there was that time when someone flung a TV out of a 9th storey window, and you told Mom something's weird about the building just a second before the bloody thing crashed on the ground.

So yeah. That radar be accurate...

Still, Charlie. You type without looking at the screen, knowing where your thumbs will land. 'Sure, Charlie. Be nice to see you. Is morning or afternoon better?'

Within a minute, there's already a reply. Charlie says afternoon... 2 pm. You reply that that sounds good, and then that's when it happens.

The hairs on your back prick up, and without thinking, you flatten yourself against whatever it is behind you - oh, damn, it's someone else trying to squeeze through! The woman lets out a squeak of protest, but that's when you see a hand shooting from the crowd and slicing into air where your shoulder and neck were just a second ago.

Goddamnit!

> cont'd.

Does the residence house have its own dining/family room area, or is that only in the (adjoining? adjacent) dining house?

For a house of 5 or so, it's going to be...strange, if the dining hall is the only facility available.

>>28594203

Belatedly, your body comes back into the crowded hypermarket and your hand reaches out to grab the intruder. This isn't a standard elbow or a jostle; someone aimed a hand directly at your neck! But of course, by the time you even reach out, the hand has already disappeared.

'Oi, you!' The woman behind you says, and you inch forward, not really registering the anger. Fear runs cold down your spine as you glance to your left, where the hand probably came from- THERE IT IS AGAIN!

The hand, broad-palmed, shoots out from behind the head of a conveniently tall and bulky man, and stupidly you raise your left hand - holding the phone - to block him off. But his fingers close around your phone instead, and you feel a powerful tug you only barely manage to resist.

'Thief,' you say, thinking it's loud. It really isn't, compared to the background noise; no one hears you, and it's too late for a second cry. But just then, you spot another tall figure in the crowd, who dodges slightly to the side when you spot him/her; then, as your right hand reaches to tug the phone back, another hand shoots out from the crowd to your right and delivers a little tap on the wrist of the intruder.

... it was just a little tap, right? Why did the guy's hand just jerk and then fall, limply, out of view? That same hand then reaches in front of you, and you spot the wrist turning in your direction.

> Try to see where it came from.
> Oh, *fuck*. RUN!
> Keep your phone calmly. Calmness withstands all. (Right? RIGHT?)
> Other.

>>28594261
>> Oh, *fuck*. RUN!

Best option.

>>28594211

> Well, the hall itself is really quite big. You could easily get a table, or move the smaller table from the dining room, and just eat in the living room. Shouldn't be a problem.

> Unless the small table weighs a ton. Since it's solid wood, you can't discount that...

>>28594261
Keep your phone and try to get out of the crowded area.

>>28594261
>> Keep your phone calmly. Calmness withstands all. (Right? RIGHT?)

>>28594261
> Keep your phone calmly. Calmness withstands all. (Right? RIGHT?)

>>28594261
Don't turn around and run. Keep hold of our phone, dodge backwards, and assess the situation.

We have clearly fallen into a Kung Fu Hustler's trap.

Let's Kung Fu Hustle him right back.

>>28594261
> Keep your phone calmly. Calmness withstands all. (Right? RIGHT?)

We're freaking Buddhist monk levels of calm.

>>28594261
>Keep your phone calmly. Calmness withstands all. (Right? RIGHT?)

He did drive off the would be thief so it's probably not trying to harm us, right?

sorry lady, we might have to squish you again.

>>28594261
Prepare for kung fu action. Start by getting some distance.

>Keep your phone calmly. Calmness withstands all.
>Find that spot, deep within yourself.
>Be at peace with everything.

>>28594330
I like it.

>>28594269
>>28594272
>>28594287
>>28594299
>>28594306
>>28594308
>>28594312

Despite the panic of nearly having your phone snatched, you just about manage to keep your faculties. Calm! Don't run! Well, it's not like you can run anyway in this bloody crowd, which both hides you and obscures your attackers. Or defenders. There's one of each, you're guessing...

Backing away, you quickly slip the phone into your pocket, but as your hand is pulling out, the hand moves to grip its wrist, sending a jolt of pain up your arm. Oh FUCK! You turn around, nudging aside some guy, and then have a glimpse into the face of your attacker. In a moment it feels as if the crowd is moving around you - this man with a slight beard, gripping your hand ever more tightly, forcing you to turn and face him.

Calm. Calm! It's only a little pain and the fact that your hand is immobilised and can't move! Just then, you feel another hand on your right shoulder, and then turn to look at it with a prickle of fear. This one doesn't grip to immobilise or agonise, though; the fingers are long, slender, clearly a woman's. Might have been the hand of your defender.

Glancing up the bare arm, you see a girl - a tall girl. Like, seriously tall. Five foot ten or so, probably?

'Let's go,' she says, in an accent you can't place because your wrist is being locked.

> What do/say, protagonist? Ow, ow oww.

"I would prefer not to."

>>28594358
"What the what? Who the hell are you people and what do you want?"

>>28594358

Judo Flip her ass, are we even halfway competent at Kung Fu Hustling? What did our uncle teach us besides homoerotic massage therapy?

>>28594358

"What is going on?"

>>28594358
HELP POLICE I'M BEING HARASSED

>>28594358
"Nope."

>Run run run

>Like, seriously tall. Five foot ten or so
European here.
>177.8 cm
This is tall?

>>28594358
Haha...how can I help you?
>>28594390
That is pretty tall for a girl's height around here.

>>28594358
>Nod at wrist lock, assume she gets it.

>>28594390
For a girl. We still don't know where he lives anyway, this could be asia for all we know.

>>28594376
The girl seems to be on our side, the painful grab is from the guy.

Actually read.

>>28594386
Not much of an option when someone has a lock on our arm.

>>28594358
Don't make any sudden movements, he could probably break our wrist, but he doesn't want to. Stay calm.

"Could someone explain what exactly is going on?"

Keep an eye on the bearded guy, look for a good opportunity to break the lock and get a solid hit in, preferably somewhere vulnerable like the groin.

>>28594390
For a grill that's pretty tall.

>>28594419
Fine, kick the guy in the groin then
>run run run

"The rate of a cricket's chirping can be used to approximate the temperature."

And then jet while they're confused!

Just caught the thread. Seems like it has potential. You have a new reader OP. But in the future state how many rolls you're taking. First 5? First 3? What about crit ranges?

> Okay. I'm done for today. Thanks for playing!
> I will run tomorrow, in the evening 4chan time.
> Follow @Stratocumulus1 for updates.

A million and one options flip through your mind. This must be what drowning is like, apparently, all sorts of images going through your mind and all of them FUCKING USELESS.

Reaching to grab the woman's hand, you try to shove it off; but while it causes little pain, her grip is surprisingly strong and you can't prise it off or pull her towards you. 'No, tell me who you aaaarrrrrr...'

Your left hand clenches and loosens, almost of its own will, within your pocket; and then you feel it being pulled out of the pocket and turn to see the man's other hand reach for it. Oh nononononono what are you going to do- but just then, the crowd seems to thin a little, providing just some space for you to lean back and pull against him with all your body's strength. Surprised, he budges a little, and that's what the tall girl needs as she pulls back on you and moves on right in front of you.

Wearing a black, t-backed halter top, you can see the girl's shoulder muscles flexing as she moves up, letting go of you and gripping the hand gripping you. The pressure loosens a little as she growls. 'Let go.'

'You little bitch!' He spits. Then he shakes her hand off, sidles forward, and thrusts his hand at her neck, but she quickly slaps it aside. Her counterattack is blocked by him as well, though.

Belatedly the crowd notices the fracas, but when they do they don't run to call the police. Instead they simply widen up, opening a bit of space for the three of you. THIS IS NOT GOOD CIVIC BEHAVIOUR, YOU BASTARDS!

> Attack the guy while he's distracted.
> Pull your hand loose and run. Let the girl deal with it.
> Other.

>>28594499

> Best, or best 2, of the first five. Normally it's the best 2 if there is a single good roll and lots of shit rolls; I like to muddy the waters.

>>28594500
>Attack the guy while he's distracted.

This city loves its street fights, nice town.

>>28594500
attack him while distracted!
shout something cool after kicking his ass too

>>28594500
>> Attack the guy while he's distracted.
HEADBUTT!

>>28594500
Pull your hand and skedaddle

>>28594500
>> Attack the guy while he's distracted.
Being protected by a girl? Like hell. Even if she can wreck us.

>>28594500
>> Attack the guy while he's distracted.

Be like water, friend. Be water.

>>28594500
>> Other.

Now would be a good time to flee.

>Thanks for running OP.

Also, OP? Archive the first quest yourself so we see what tags you want and the like.

>>28594500
>Attack the guy while he's distracted.

>>28594500
>Stratocumulus

Wait, how many quests do you have running again? 5?

> Yep, onto archiving.
> Thanks for playing, guys! See you tomorrow/later today (for the Americans).

>>28594551
And never fucking finishing. I'd really like it more if he focused on Retainer Quest.

>>28594561
Urban Story is better imo.

>>28594568

Hope he finishes that, at least.

Basically, stop fucking starting quests, start finishing them.

Can't believe I missed this. I say we should attack.

bump

>>28594634
Hey at least he isn't the author of berserk.

Bump

Next chapter is here:

>>28605305