Previous thread was not archived, and is somewhere on foolz. To summarize- Shrine Maiden kills Neckbeard, Neckbeard makes deal with Beelze and Anon wakes up naked in his bathtub with a hangover and Torpedo Asshole in his arms.Thank you.--->Just stay here, I'll get the door.>My fucking heeeaaaad.You leave TA behind in your bathroom along with any other liquids in there. Most likely alcohols. Hopefully alcohol.And head over to answer your door.
Upon opening the door, you are greeted with a familiar Torpedo's body, sparing you from any sudden realization and embarrassment on the fact you're butt naked.
You consider on not reuniting the head with the body on account that Torpedo Asshole might beat on you-
"MINIIIOOOONNN~ "Oh. Oh god.
"I found you! Where the hell have you been this whole time?""I know that was you down that alleyway while I was getting horned, and you let me get chased away by mods and walked away.""You do know we had a deal, riiiiight?"Oh fuck.
Oh! I found the previous thread.http://archive.foolz.us/tg/thread/28522534Good night.
>>28574948Subjugate yourself immediately.
>>28574948Run away as fast as possible. Jump out the window if required.
>>28574948Use the power of zen drunkery to achieve nirvana.There is an arrow in your head.We only left because it looked like you were enjoying yourself.
I, uh, guess I didn't see you th......Is that an arrow in your head?
>>28574948You look diff'rent.
>>28579727Would you say that he is a bit...arrowminded?
>>28574948Demonstrate to him Nirvana and make him step aside, for you are the Buddha of pathetic failures.
>>28575086Hey OP.If you have the images saved, if you could put them up somewhere, I'd be happy to make an imgur album of them, in order, with the text from the posts accompanying the pictures. I suppose really just having it in order is enough, but why not.
>>28581751Bump because /tg/ is moving fast today.
>>28581751Foolz takes imagef down after a while
>>28582648I always thought they took them down immediately. Not true?
>>28582672Never mind, I'm a dumbass. I forgot that I could just, you know, check for myself.I'm going to be gone for awhile. Have to head to work. I'll do it when I get back.
>>28581751.. Of course I have the images saved, I made them. I don't think I'd be uploading them right now.>>28575234The farthest you can run way is to your room, so it's either the window or Beardy over there."MINION! Where are you going?!"
>>28582849Have fun at work.--FREEDOM! Even if it means the cost of your life or your well being, it'd be alot better than having to serve that thing!
>>28583766USE YOUR TEARS AND DEPRESSION TO SOFTEN THE FALL
"Where do you think you're going? We have work to do!"Fuck.
>>28583810Holy shit Neckbeardgle got swole
Use your new found Zen enlightenment to ward off his evil insanity.
Rolled 3>>28583810WelpWe're drunk and diddled a torpedo a few minutes ago. I think that's Slaaneshi enough.WE MUST SING THE PRAYER FOR DOOMRIDER AND HOPE TO GOD NECKBEARD FINDS HIM A CHALLENGE AND DEALS WITH HIM INSTEAD OF DEALING WITH USPRAY WE DON'T ROLL A 1
>>28583810have a traumatic relaps and have our split personality drunken zen acceptance take over in the form of "FAER" then have it beg to be spared and to take the asshole in the tub istead and cry some more
>>28583810Garush: Morning workout routine.
>>28583826What Zen enlightenment?!
>>28584050"I'M TAKING THE WHEEL MOVE OVER"
>Oh god no please don't kill me"I'm not going to-">TAKE TORPEDO ASSHOLE INSTEAD>HE'S SITTING IN THE BATHTUB WITH EMPTY BOTTLES OF LIQUOR AND DEPRESSIONYou began sobbing and begging uncontrollably.
>>28584536OP, I just wanted to say thank you. I love this quest.
>>28584565What the hell is your minion going on about? You weren't going to kill him off right yet!
>>28584586Stop crying you nancy. We're going monster hunting! There's a little girl who needs tonguing.
>>28584586>Pack your bags and get your vidya games, nerd, we're going bitch hunting.
>>28584618>Stop crying you nancy. We're going monster hunting! There's a little girl who needs tonguing."Wh-what little girl?"
>>28585326Remove arrow from forehead."Get the scent, boy!"
>The little cunt who lodged this arrow in my brain."How did you even surv- Nevermind, I don't really want to kn-know.."Alright guys, what's the plan? How do we kill Shrine Maiden?
>>28585374We forcefeed her her friends.
>>28585374We lick her armpits. Hard.
>>28585374Quit simple... we shall recruit a... Khorne Berserker!
Does this have a 1d4chan page yet?
>>28585396>>28585736Minion did say something about Asshole being in the bathroom, let's go check!"What the fuck?"Of course he would be in the bathtub full of empty bottles of alcohol.
>>28586103Try to judge his character by licking him.
>>28586103>Hey, slaveboy told me to take you instead of him."Little fucker tried selling me out?!"You pick up the head.>Pretty much. Hey, join me and I can get you your body and let you get get back with him!"Deal."TORPEDO ASSHOLE JOINS YOUR PARTY
>>28586140Introduce him to the power of mouths
>>28586140Find Shrine Maiden and forgive the shit out of her
>>28586140Load payload into bay 2. By which I mean stomach-mouth.
Time to head head out with Torpedo Asshole under one arm, and Anon still wrapped in tongue.
>>28583748Work was alright. I'm tired, starving, I suspect on the verge of hallucinations, but I've done it.http://imgur.com/a/EssUG#0Each image has a link to the post it came from in its description. At first I copied the original text over, but it seemed confusing without the other posts around it to provide context.Anyway, I'm going to go eat now.And I thought we were playing anon, not neckbeardman. Did I miss something?
>>28588256>>28584586>You are now NeckbeardYou don't read subject fields?
>>28588182Sound plan. I think it would be better if we didn't eat the sentient explosives.>>28588310Apparently I don't. Oops.
>>28586140Anon: I'd say shame on you for selling out the asshole, but it's just what I've come to expect of you. Now, do you have the stones to ambush them while they're talking?
>>28586192Yes yes, but how are you going to find her? Or at least lure her?>>28587552You loaded Torpedo into bay 2. Which happens to be stomach-mouth.>Comfy in there?"Y-yeah.. Ugh."
>>28588985Say shrines and yin-yang symbols are shit.
>>28588985Attract her with a rousing rendition of biz markie's "Just a Friend". No one can resist it's siren song.
>>28588985Where did TA's body go?They're adventurers, you'd think they'd be fighting monsters.
>>28588985Go find a thieving which who can shoot giant laser beams from her hand. They tend to get mixed together.To lure one of THOSE just find a library.
>>28588985Use bloodhound-like senses to sniff out your buttplug horn. Where the oni is, so is your target.
>>28588985Alright, here's the plan:First, bake a cake and frost it with the image of a yin-yang symbol.Place it on a plate under a box propped up with a stick tied to a piece of rope.Wait with your companions in a nearby bush, holding the other end of the rope.
>>28588985Lets hit the streets
>>28589052This will be your first plan of action, now we must figure out where in the city she could be.>>28589094You have discovered one of the many new abilities Beezlefag had granted you upon revival! You can sniff out anything your body has touched. Or anything that touched you.You figure out the direction of the horn, and it's most possible the oni/ogre might have it.>>28589172This will be plan B.
>>28589632SEARCH AND MOLEST
>>28589632walk casualy along the sidewalk in the direction of the horn with anon carried in tounge and TA in lower mouth pushing everyone out of our way in the style of http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=I_izvAbhExY
>>28589632Combine "Elf Slut" body with "Torpedo Asshole" head in our unhallowed stomach-forge.
>>28589632reunite torpedo dickhead with his surely wrecked boddy and wrek him if he decides to scram
>>28590430Is the quest dead? Please, don't let it be so... I need this!
>>28590987No, OP is slow up update.
>>28590987Everyone is either busy or sleeping. Also, /tg/ is just a slow board. You can easily let 2-3 hours pass between bumps.>>28589632Follow that scent. Ignore the hostiles that try to chase us.
>>28589656You leap from the third story apartment complex to follow the scent of the horn that happens to smell like your anus.
>>28591526Also, you made sure you have Anon with you. What kind of villain are you without your minion?
>>28591547Use Anon to break our fall. We can always have Beelze revive him in exchange for his soul. We can barter that since he's our minion, can't we?
>>28591547Proceed to find the body of Torpedo Asshole.We might be a crazed abomination, but we still have integrity.
>>28591580Having achieved drunken nirvana, I expected we'd just return to the greater flow of liquor and spirits, instead of going to hell/heaven/whereeverthatwas. Or would we need to be drunk when we die for that to happen?
>>28591547Now before we go track them down, let's take a gander of our surroundings and explain on how our carapace armor had improved. Your new armor can block off 4% damage now, and your mouths won't damage and destroy anything that enters them.Now the kid happens to live near a liqour store and a library, and what seems to be another business building that other Anonymi tend to dick around in all day and claim it's their job as an excuse to waste the day away so you, the Anonymous, can validate your void lives in this meaningless world. But enough of that!Someone familiar is across the street, probably going over to the convenience store next to the liquor store for some snacks because why not? Maybe they have some tasty instant meatbread there or some bottles of chocolate milk.Enough of that you just wish Anon would stop sobbing because he's going to dry out those tear ducts of his and he's going to end up all worn out and won't be able to get any work done!
>>28591665We are one with inebriation, at peace with the Grand Alcohol and the Wheel of Intoxication.
>>28591691Wave with mouth-tongue and Anon.Garush: ...ohs hells naw.
>>28591691Get the alcoholic some booze.Maybe if he's sucking on a bottle he'll stop crying.
>>28591701If anon doesnt immediately fucking start crying I'm gonna be pissed
>>28591722>>28591748"... Ohs hells naw."
>>28592124You greeted the familiar fellow with both Anon, tongue and your hand! You are sure talented, Beardy.
>>28592124Whats ya think, Yorrick? Cans we takes 'em an save Anon? Or shoulds we play dis real cools...
>>28592152OH GOD OH GOD OH GOD
>>28592152GARUSH YOU GOTTA NOT DIE BRO
>>28592198SECONDEDPLEASE GARUSH DON'T THROW YOUR LIFE AWAY
>>28592219That looks like a staff, not a wooden sword.I think we have another player here.
>>28592295>>28592302No, it's still and has always been a kendo stick
>>28592302Doubtful. I don't think Garush would have just leaped into the fray like that, especially since he was asking Yorrick what her opinion was. My guess: Monster hunter.
>>28592295no, it looks like a wooden swordI just wonder when garush got the balls to attack beardstrosity.
>>28592295Looks like one of Garush's shinnai mate, at least to me.
>>28592332I suppose it does at that. I thought he got a bokken though.
I will do better at drawing of the wooden swords. Or bokken. Or hmhmhmYou are now fighting Garush and his party. Anon is BOUND and CRYING, you are still HUNGRY."BE PUTTINGS ANONS DOWN"
>>28592394Hey, no, it's all right. I just couldn't tell. My bad, man.
>>28592394Launch Torpedo Asshole from bay 2.
>>28592394Let Anon's feet touch the ground, but keep him bound otherwise.
>>28592357He's been consistently drawing shinnai.To be fair, I completely forgot the proper name for shinnai. That changed when I ran a google image search on bokken a few seconds ago, and one of the pictures was a bokken and shinnai alongside one another.
>>28592394YORICK YELL REALLY LOUD AND THREATEN TO BITE OFF HIS DICKTHAT SHOULD GIVE HIM LIKE PTSD FLASHBACKS OR SOMETHING
>>28592440>>28592446Do these.Not like they can run. Unless somebody gets some amazing rolls.
>>28592469I guess I hadn't really noticed. I just figured he'd use bokken since shinnai aren't really effective as weapons outside kendo. They sting, but that's about it. Can't really beat somebody's ass with a bundle of reeds.But, this is OP's game and I'm along for the ride, so I don't care what he draws one way or the other. I'm not offering criticism here, just clarifying my mistaken assumption.
>>28592394TONGUE GARUSH'S MANLY CHESTUNKNOWINGLY MAKE YORICK JEALOUS
>>28592503Aye, I don't think it matters a bit.I never had a problem with it, I just forgot that shinnai weren't called bokken, that's all I was pointing out, heh.
>>28592503They aren't /great/ weapons, but can cause injury.I had to wear a wrist brace for a month after a fuck up in a choreographed demo, the second one that day. My friend missed a high running clash and hit my wrist, breaking one of the side planks in his shinai.
Rolled 14>>28592440You threw Anon at your foes, Anon takes some damage as a result.
Rolled 37>>28592446You launched Torpedo Asshole at your foes, Torpedo Asshole takes some damage result.Totally damage to enemy in next post.(Also, I'm allowing you to suggest attacks for the other side for this battle.)
>>28592950Oh SHIT yeah.Can we have anon crawl to the liquor store?Wait, now that I think about it, Garush is really only there for Anon and TA. Think he might just bolt it now that he has them?
Rolled 28, 3 = 31>>28592950TOTALING DAMAGEYour turn, Garush Party.
>>28592993YORICK SCREAM ABOUT EATING HIS DICK DAMMIT
>>28592993Yorrick: Disorienting ShriekGarush: PompablastMimic: Assume Form (Random Result of anyone in battle)
>>28592950Yorick: watch in amusement at these chucklefucks getting tossed aboutGarush: use Yorick on a stick to do bonus ghostly damage. (thats a thing righ? ehh fuck it do it anyway)Chest: hide in the safety of the box that has kept you safe since forever
>>28592993BANSHEE SCREAMPOMPADOUR SPARK
>>28592993Yorick: More laughterGarush: Sord.Mimic: Wonder wtf is going on. What attacks do mimics have anyway.
>>28593082We have anon and TA, don;t we? We could just bail with our loot.
Rolled 1>>28593014"I'M GOING TO EAT YOUR FUCKING DICK"Disorient/Stun chance! 1 is success, 2 is failure.
>>28593300I can only imagine that shocked looks.>>28593271The only question is: can we get away?The Beardstrosity has reach. Our best bet may just be putting him down.But we'll have to do it fast. If he gets lucky, he can seriously mess you up.
>>28593300Beardstrosity: Fear-vomit elven hottie bodyGarush: 2+2=Yorrick's new body.
Rolled 12>>28593016Garush whacks You with Yorick! Ghost damage doubles it and will be totalled on the final post. Yorick receives some damage as result.
>>28593082Mimic is wondering what the hell is going on. Mimic's skills are:Copy Cat (Chance to change to random character in battle)Coin Toss (It's fucking metal shit hurts)Bite (Bite their fucking legs off)And other skills I can't really think up at the moment.
>>28593516>Copy Cat (Chance to change to random character in battle)Let's do that.
>>28593516Is it one suggestion per post?
Rolled 60, 21 = 81>>28593516And now totalling the damage..You are stunned, you miss one turn. You can, however, try to play as Anon or skip this turn.
>>28593516Leeeet's not give this freako any more money than he could surely murder to gain.Copycat.
>>28593567Anon, you are crying, neckbeard is back, and your hangover is impeding your ability to act rationally.There is only one way to deal with this situation. Make a beeline for the liquor store.
>>28593567Anon: Tear Barrier around Garush and co.
>>28593567Anon: negotiate peace between warring factions.
>>28593668I know we're Neckbeard's minion and all, but we're definately not obligated to benefit him unless he asks for it.
>>28593668Man, we want away from neckbeard
>>28593675>not being deathly terrified of Neckbeard
>>28593690All the more reason to be the Genie to his Jafar.Maybe not the best analogy.
Rolled 3>>28593594>>28593598>>28593668Three conflicting answers, the die will decide!1, you bee-line to the liquor store2, you help your friends out with tear barrier3, you negotiate peace between warring factions
>>28593795best choice right there
>>28593795I need to learn Java. And flash. And make this game.
>>28593795well that's right shit then
>>28593866so how do we go about this? roll for diplomacy? anal circumference? roll to seduce?
>>28593851>>28593866Hey, hey. Operative word here is "try."
>>28593866I guess we can look at it as a coward's way of protecting Garush & co from Neckbeard.
>>28583810First reaction is a rail road>quest threads
>>28593928Have you been paying a god-damned bit of attention? Things have gotten to the point they're at through audience participation. If you're new, sit back, shut up, and learn the ropes. If you're not new, then you're a dumbass who hasn't been paying attention and should sit back, shut up, and learn the ropes.Now THAT is a railroad.
>>28593959This man is a saint of this quest thread.
>>28593906Guess so. We'd still probably have to be drunk to pull it off.>>28593928You have to bait the hooks, anon.
>>28593713grant his wishes, but refuse to help him hook up with the princess?
>>28593998Exactly.Because the princess tried to eat his dick or something.
You rush into the middle of battle, shouting STOP.Garush gives you a confused look, Yorick is sporting a wicked grin. Mimic and Neckbeard look confused as well."What are you doings Anon?! Gets aways from him!!"Fuck, what do you say?
>>28594041Wait... WHY are we helping beardy again?Anon: Because if you don't he's going to freak out and KILL US ALL! You told me to do something with my indignation, and now I am! Garush, just... just run, okay?
>>28594041Men were not made to fight eachother.Men may have come to love war, to love the adrenalin, the thrill of battle, but that is not our natural element. No, my friends, the natural element of man is the tribe, our friends, our family. Through cooperation, unity, and brotherhood does mankind thrive and conquer our environment. Our willingness to forgive one another and forge a path together is what distinguishes us from the beasts of the earth.We have a chance to stop this needless fighting now, and come together as brothers. I hope that you all will take it.Campy as hell. I tried.
>>28594041Stand there vacantly, utterly at a loss for words. Drunken Zen master takes over. Wheel around and head directly for liquor store.Alternate plan: shed single tear for those lost. Dramatic weight of tear should be enough to end conflict.
>>28594041"Can we postpone this fight so I can go back to my post and get some CLOTHES before I'm flung around any more?!"
>>28594094I second this.
>>28594094You ended up shedding more than one tear for those lost. Everybody kept giving you a weird look.>>28594122>Because if you don't he's going to freak out and kill us all!>You told me to do something with my indignation, and now I am!
>>28594378"But Anons-">Garush, just... just run, okay?"Not withouts you."
>>28594394Garush: Pour your life force into a single blow. Save your friend, even at the expense of yourself."Mans gots ta do whats a mans gots ta do."MANLY BLOW!
>>28594394"KISS ALREADY!"It is now Team Garush's turn.
>>28594407God damn it, Yorrick is best girl.
>>28594407grab anon and bail. Ask mimic if he has some pants stored
>>28594407Anon: Swap SidesTeam: Run. So hard. And take Torpedo Asshole.
>>28594394wowso brosuch manlyvery pompadour>>28594407Best character.
Not the beardstrosity's turn yet, but we need a more competent minion. He's a crybaby drunk with no discernible talents, and he actually thought he could appeal to whatever we have in place of compassion and human empathy.We should either eat him or ditch him.
>>28594418>>28594426Garush's team had grabbed Anon and Torpedo Asshole and ran for it.What the fuck man they stole your minion that shit's like your property. A magical healing alcohol dispenser.He dispenses alcohol right? Because he smelt like freshly opened peppermint schnapps when he started crying or some shit.
>>28594580Oh my god it's way too early to be laughing this fucking hard...
>>28594580>peppermint schnappsLet them keep him.
>>28594580Looks like it's time to find new minions. Maybe that unicorn girl?
>>28594624I second this motion. Return to anon's place of residence and look for something that would tell us where the lurking facility is.
>>28594604>>28594624Your minion had not proven of any use since he agreed to follow you. Well, he wasn't a good minion or you weren't a good master. Most likely the former, you believe.But fuck, you were probably going to use him as a meat shield and throw Torpedo Asshole at Shrine Maiden.Oh well, you'll deal with him if you see him again. Now Charlotte? You can try to recruit her, but first, you need to know where to find her.
>>28594718You return to Anon's place of residence for clues to his lurking facility. The place smells heavily of many liquors and alcohols, gun powder, tea, cologne, and.. Some sort of water that's making you feel uneasy?There are books and bottles scattered around the place. The kitchen, living room, bedroom, and even the bathroom.Where do you look first?
>>28594796>Search his backpack.
>>28594796Loot his wallet.
>>28594796Look for something emotionally valuable to masturbate on.
>>28594812>>28594827>>28594877All of these, simultaneously.
>>28594796Bedroom obviously. He probably keeps her looted panties in there.
>>28594796Draw pictures of dicks all over everything.
>>28594912>With your semen
Bump, for OP.
>>28596242Plump for OP.
>>28594796Search his teapot obviously.
>>28594812>>28594898You head into the bedroom and the first thing that caught your eye was his schoolbag that was infront of his bed. You open it up and the contents are:Two books, a bottle with some sparkling liquid inside, an empty bottle next to said sparkling liquid bottle, piece of paper and a photo.Other bedroom contents happen to be empty bottles and more books scattered around, alongside a few pieces of tissue and articles of clothing. The bedroom closet is locked, however.Anon's computer is still on, there are empty bottles under the desk too.
>>28600751TIME TO START DRINKING
>>28600751FUCK THIS RETARD >>28600793LOOK AT THE PHOTO TO FIND OUT MORE ABOUT OUR MINIONS LOVED ONESPART OF BEING A GOOD MASTER IS KNOWING YOUR MINIONS. ONCE WE MENTION THEM HE'LL BE SO OVERJOYED TO FIND OUT WE CARE.
>>28600848FUCK OFF RETARD>>28600751WE ARE GOING TO FILL EVERY FUCKING ORIFICE WITH SPARKLY WATER
>>28600751Look at paper and photo. If those don't tell us anything then use his computer to look up the closest lurking facility.
>>28600868EAT DICKS FAGGOT, MINE WAS THE FIRST EVENS.
Rolled 34>>28601007EAT DICKS NIGGER, I'M GONNA ROLL AND GET DUBS
>>28601202#REKTEVEN LIFE HATES YOU
>>28600868Water that made us feel uneasy.Sparkly water.Guys, maybe this is a stretch, but I think that's holy water. I can only imagine what that would have done to use before the deal with Beelze, and I shudder at what would happen now.
>>28601383Anon's an alcoholic, it's probably just absinthe or something
>>28600848>>28600868You pop open the lid of the sparkling water bottle and began sipping from it. Kind of spicy.You examine the photo of what appears to be Minion the 1st and some guy with a stubble. The paper reads:Hey little bro,The paladin academy is not as easy as we'd thought it be, but it's worth leaving 4chan for another world. Sure, they'll probably send me back because of the huge influx of unholy beasts that inhabit the lands, but it's a real breather.I'm going to try to put in a good word for you when you finish your lurking (you can stop whenever and call me, c'mon), so try finishing early!And try to take care of that drinking problem of yo-
>>28601646This drink is really fucking nasty and is burning up your mouth now.Does this kid not know how to drink?!
>>28601662tuck photo into neckbeardgo in search of minion the 1st or charlotte, whichever is closer
>>28601662Wrap it up in towels and store it in your lower mouth.
>>28601698Let's go for charlotte.It's been so long.And that shit is totally holy water.
>>28601748I can support going for charlotte
>>28601698You tuck the photo into your neckbeard, where the rest of your cash monies and other looted goods you got from your previous crusades while you were not playing as Neckbeard inside.>>28601704There were no towels around, so not only did you wrap the bottle with the letter, but with the nearest clothing you can grab onto and storeed it into you lower mouth.>>28601748You still do not know the whereabouts of Charlotte, or the Lurking Facility she goes to.
>>28601978Start searching and asking around then. We found elf wench, we can find unicorn girl.
>>28601978Find Charlotte. Her horn is ribbed for our pleasure.
>>28601978check his computer for compromising information and/or his stash of porn to use as blackmail against him if he resists his master's will further
>>28602242There could also be upskirt pictures of Charlotte.Which would explain why she tried to sodomize him with her horn.
>>28602999the trips demand it be done, for the upskirt panty shot
You began your search on his computer for any information on Charlotte. You enter one of his folders and opened up a file called REVENGE.PNG.Could this be Charlotte's sweet, sweet ass?
>>28603876Maybe we can blackmail her.
>>28603876Print out a hundred copies and make them rain from the sky.
>>28603962oh god yes
>>28603876Print up "Lost Dog" flyers. Post one in every thread."Have you seen this ass?"
>>28603876Oh god this guy is either into wolves or homestuck.Delete it, and then search his whole computer for any more related stuff to delete.We're doing him a favor here.
>>28603876Does he have a dickpick in his taskbar?
>>28603938Indeed, if our terrifying presence, excellent reach, and luscious neckbeard doesn't keep her where we want her, then now we have blackmail. It just keeps getting better.
>>28603876We better look for more blackmail material.
>>28603934You selected the entire image and resized it by x300 y300.>>28603938You'll need to find a means on how, this kid doesn't have a printer!>>28604022That looks like teamspeak down at his taskbar, alongside with photoshop, skype, folder to library and his internet browser.
>>28604171check his internet history
>>28604171Email it to all his contacts.
>>28604171check his browser history, download history, download folder, and skype messages in that order
>>28604171Wait, those are feathers under her ass. That's not Charlotte, that's the harpy bitch.
>>28604171God fucking dammit it was supposed to be a joke. Check his internet history. I expect messed up stuff like chicks farting on cakes.I guess you could email it to all his contacts and to yourself.
>>28604171Get on his facebook and send an inbox to charlotte."You want it? Come get it ~<3 :* "
>>28604190Poor Neckbeard will be horrified by all the /e/.
>>28604279Her legs were curved in the first picture.She has legs like Pan. So they're fuzzy. That's fur, not feathers.
>>28604313this is a good plan
>>28604171check his downloads, his browser history, his emails and his skype contacts then photoshop for any shoops he may have done (i dont know how photoshop works)
>>28604339Maybe, but harpies have those backward-facing legs too. I think.
>>28604344fuck yeah evens and dubs too
>>28604354I think you're right. Don't remember.But still, that looks like fur more than feathers.
>>28604171i think he took the picture then used photshop to X-ray it, ive seen some x-rays in my day, i am an old fag. bt he faped to it afterwards
>>28604423It's also blown up to 300x300. Probably some pixilation.
>>28604439It's entirely possible that we're over thinking this.
>>28604190You check his browser history, and boy does he get around on /e/. Stupid pervert.He has went to:/e/- EcchiGUROchan's /g/ and /f/, atleast onceDOGQUEST.orgdogchocolate.comyoutubeVarious alcohol related sitesSome kind of sigil related siteAnd a bunch of other boring shit you could not bring yourself to look up.>>28604324You're damn right you are afraid of all this /e/.
>>28604676>Some kind of sigil related siteLets look at thisAlso>DOGQUEST.org>dogchocolate.com...
>>28604676>Find his contact list. Let's start emailing people everything.
Enough of this disgusting /e/ shit, we have things to do.
>>28604676Read the latest dog questClearly it is the greatest work of our time.
>>28604881Seconded.See if you can find Charlotte's contact info.Once we have it, send her the picture, tell her to meet us at some place.We have a unicorn girl to catch.
>>28604676Look at the sigil site
>>28604902You check out the dog quest website, and it looks like it's at that part where the Princess Dog thanks the Mail Dog for bringing her mail and for rescuing the Cake Maiden from the Shroom Witch.It hasn't been updated since last month, it's creator had gone missing.
>>28605187Neckbeard: Get to your fucking revenge quest or you'll end up sitting here all night reading quest threads and probably jacking off to whatever weird shit Anon is into.
>>28605187Look for a camera. Snap a picture of your junk. Set as new wallpaper.
>>28605187Look up the lyrics for Just A Friend. You don't want to be caught with your pants down when the time comes.
>>28605187>Send the picture of Charlotte's butt to everyone.If we can't print it we can at least find it everywhere.
>>28604676You can browse other boards?Can you browse /tg/?What happens if you post there?
>>28605187Start a new quest called BeardButtQuest.
>>28605187copy/paste his browser history into his facebook feed and confess to being a pervert and proud. thitl teach your minion to leave with the enemy
>>28605334to meta and the world is plunged into darkness until moot fixes the servers from the feedback overload
>>28605334He clones himself?Does he get's his old post back, meatbread and all?
>>28605187Can we do >>28604925 now?
>>28605240You discover that the desk has some drawers and open one of them up. Contents contain:A phoneSome booksTissueTwo bottles of whiskeyCrumpled tissueA picture of a dogA headsetSome pensA bottle of lubeSome loose change (+5 monies)And a thumb driveThe phone looks like it has a camera built in it.
>>28606268Steal the thumb drive and upload the revenge.png to the phone
>>28606268Grab the following:>And a thumb drive>A bottle of lube>A picture of a dog>Two bottles of whiskeyPut revenge pic on the thumb drive and mail them to your own account and to Charlotte.Drink the whiskey.
>>28606268>Dick as wallpaper.Also >>28606289
>>28606268Go through the phone's contact list and message log. Stuff tissues into the whiskey bottles for improvised molotov cocktails. Look through the thumb drive. Drop the phone book spine-up to see what pages it opens more readily toward, implying frequency of access to those pages.
>>28606268check whats on he thumb drive
>>28606268plug thumb drive into computer and see whats on it, checkwhat we can find on the phone such as pictures, texts and contacts
>>28606317Seconding this.We can be lazy and let her come to us. We don't need to find the lurking facility then.If we post her ass everywhere, then there's no reason for her to seek us out if we mail it to her.
>>28606404You were the only one to get evens.Damn.
>>28606329Let's put that all into order:You first look through the thumb drive. Nothing in it, not until you dragged Charlotte's ass into it.
>>28608151It's actually anon's ass. He dresses up as a girl and takes lewd upskirt pics of himself
>>28606289You upload revenge.png to the phone, and set it as the phone's background just for good measure.>>28606329Anon's contact list:GarushAnonymi of various IDCharlotteAnon's Brother (?)There are various message logs varying of dates, and there have been messages long left unanswered.
>>28606329You then proceed to stuff tissue into the whiskey bottles for later use, but you can't seem to find any phone books in here..
>>28608200Send Charlotte the picture and say "I'll be at my apartment ;)"
>>28608250I like this idea.
>>28608240Sorry, misread "A phone and some books" as "some phone books." Don't know why.
>>28608250>>28608292Must we go after the horned waifu? I'd rather go wreck Garush until he joins us.
>>28608350Where Charlotte comes, comes cyclops faggot.We could get two minions for the price of one
>>28608333And since I got these trips, I may as well use them and second >>28608250
>>28608350We're going to use her as a punching bag for our new powers, then see if we can recruit her and get her to go after shrine maiden and the oni with us. Plus, she goes to Anon's lurking facility, so we can track him down.
>>28608359Well, he ain't our boy yet but the brotha is heavy.I'm sure we can persuade them with our current power, though.
>>28608359charlotte is not the shrine maiden
>>28608428I think you're confusing the Ogre with the Cyclops dude
>>28608428And?They can help us kill the shrine maidenDoofus.
>>28608250Perfect, she's on her way.What should you do while you wait? There's booze and books lying around, you have someone else's computer to yourself, or you can check to see if your stats have updated!
>>28608568Just as planned.Let's soak the place in alcohol first. That way if things start going south we can set the place on fire and escape in the ensuing confusion.
>>28608568start a new quest on tg called shrine maiden quest.
>>28608568Sit on a revolving char so we can turn to face her when she enters.
>>28608568Skill up using Anon's NERDY-ASS books.
>>28608685Thirded.We don't have a cat, we'll have to stroke our neckbeardmane.
>>28608568Check stats after assuming rotating chair.
>>28608685>>28608759Combine. Drag over an endtable if there is one so what she does arrive, we can close the book, set it down, and turn around in an ominous manner.
>>28609065*when, not what.
>>28589732We should do this some time
>>28609115Except we don't have TA any more.
>>28609179Nor do we have the body of elf girl.It kinda went crunch.
We are officially on autosage.
You douse the place with all the liquor you can get your hands on in here. Which is alot. It basically covered all of it save for the locked closet.
>>28609401You then drag the turn chair back to the living room, darkened it for an eerie effect, took one of Anon's books and sat there, waiting.Waiting for your Unicorn.
>>28609435We Charlotte now?
>>28609591Do you want to be Charlotte for the next thread?
>>28609670No.We should be Charlotte's horn, fighting to not become anal spelunkers.
>>28609670Too many PC's is a bad thing, I think. Let's keep the "villains" of the story a separate entity.
>>28609670My first inclination is no, because she doesn't count as the little girl, and because I don't have a handle on her personality. But then I'm like, why not? Either way is fine.
>>28609701You won't be able to do much as Charlotte's horn. Maybe just fire some magic lasers on her command but you still won't be able to do much.
>>28609670not reallybeardstrosity is the most fun
>>28609732In that case I vote to play the least likely of all character: the grieving elven frycook who just lost his sister in a dickmunching accident.
>>28609751DBB: Get back to work you fucking pansy! Your sister was a cunt and we've got hungry customers!
>>28609732i vote we play as cyclops the reverse trap that we beat up, because theres no way a gang of punk ass girls hang around with a single boy that they treat as an equal so its gota be a reverse trap. so we play as the cyclops then.
>>28609752>>28609752>>28609752WAIT TIME LIMIT YEAH