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Upon opening the door, you are greeted with a familiar Torpedo's body, sparing you from any sudden realization and embarrassment on the fact you're butt naked.

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You consider on not reuniting the head with the body on account that Torpedo Asshole might beat on you-

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"MINIIIOOOONNN~ "

Oh. Oh god.

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"I found you! Where the hell have you been this whole time?"
"I know that was you down that alleyway while I was getting horned, and you let me get chased away by mods and walked away."
"You do know we had a deal, riiiiight?"

Oh fuck.

Oh! I found the previous thread.

http://archive.foolz.us/tg/thread/28522534

Good night.

>>28574948
Subjugate yourself immediately.

>>28574948
Run away as fast as possible. Jump out the window if required.

>>28574948
Ssssssssssshit.

>>28574948
Use the power of zen drunkery to achieve nirvana.

There is an arrow in your head.

We only left because it looked like you were enjoying yourself.

I, uh, guess I didn't see you th...

...

Is that an arrow in your head?

Bamp.

>>28574948
You look diff'rent.

>>28579727
Would you say that he is a bit...arrowminded?

>>28574948
Demonstrate to him Nirvana and make him step aside, for you are the Buddha of pathetic failures.

>>28575086
Hey OP.
If you have the images saved, if you could put them up somewhere, I'd be happy to make an imgur album of them, in order, with the text from the posts accompanying the pictures. I suppose really just having it in order is enough, but why not.

>>28581751
Bump because /tg/ is moving fast today.

>>28581751
Foolz takes imagef down after a while

>>28582648
I always thought they took them down immediately. Not true?

>>28582672
Never mind, I'm a dumbass. I forgot that I could just, you know, check for myself.

I'm going to be gone for awhile. Have to head to work. I'll do it when I get back.

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>>28581751
.. Of course I have the images saved, I made them. I don't think I'd be uploading them right now.

>>28575234

The farthest you can run way is to your room, so it's either the window or Beardy over there.

"MINION! Where are you going?!"

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>>28582849

Have fun at work.

--

FREEDOM! Even if it means the cost of your life or your well being, it'd be alot better than having to serve that thing!

>>28583766
USE YOUR TEARS AND DEPRESSION TO SOFTEN THE FALL

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Oh.

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"Where do you think you're going? We have work to do!"

Fuck.

>>28583810
Holy shit Neckbeardgle got swole

Use your new found Zen enlightenment to ward off his evil insanity.

Rolled 3

>>28583810
Welp
We're drunk and diddled a torpedo a few minutes ago. I think that's Slaaneshi enough.

WE MUST SING THE PRAYER FOR DOOMRIDER AND HOPE TO GOD NECKBEARD FINDS HIM A CHALLENGE AND DEALS WITH HIM INSTEAD OF DEALING WITH US

PRAY WE DON'T ROLL A 1

>>28583810
have a traumatic relaps and have our split personality drunken zen acceptance take over in the form of "FAER" then have it beg to be spared and to take the asshole in the tub istead and cry some more

>>28583810
Garush: Morning workout routine.

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>>28583826

What Zen enlightenment?!

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>>28584050

"I'M TAKING THE WHEEL MOVE OVER"

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>Oh god no please don't kill me

"I'm not going to-"

>TAKE TORPEDO ASSHOLE INSTEAD
>HE'S SITTING IN THE BATHTUB WITH EMPTY BOTTLES OF LIQUOR AND DEPRESSION

You began sobbing and begging uncontrollably.

>>28584536
OP, I just wanted to say thank you. I love this quest.

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>>28584565

What the hell is your minion going on about? You weren't going to kill him off right yet!

>>28584586
Stop crying you nancy. We're going monster hunting! There's a little girl who needs tonguing.

>>28584586
>Pack your bags and get your vidya games, nerd, we're going bitch hunting.

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>>28584618

>Stop crying you nancy. We're going monster hunting! There's a little girl who needs tonguing.

"Wh-what little girl?"

>>28585326
Remove arrow from forehead.

"Get the scent, boy!"

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>The little cunt who lodged this arrow in my brain.

"How did you even surv- Nevermind, I don't really want to kn-know.."

Alright guys, what's the plan? How do we kill Shrine Maiden?

>>28585374
Torpedo asshole.

>>28585374
We forcefeed her her friends.

>>28585374
We lick her armpits. Hard.

>>28585374
Vigorously.

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>>28585374
Friendship

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>>28585374

Quit simple... we shall recruit a... Khorne Berserker!

Does this have a 1d4chan page yet?

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>>28585396
>>28585736

Minion did say something about Asshole being in the bathroom, let's go check!

"What the fuck?"

Of course he would be in the bathtub full of empty bottles of alcohol.

>>28586103
Try to judge his character by licking him.

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>>28586103

>Hey, slaveboy told me to take you instead of him.
"Little fucker tried selling me out?!"

You pick up the head.

>Pretty much. Hey, join me and I can get you your body and let you get get back with him!
"Deal."

TORPEDO ASSHOLE JOINS YOUR PARTY

>>28586140
Introduce him to the power of mouths

>>28586140
Find Shrine Maiden and forgive the shit out of her

>>28586140
Load payload into bay 2. By which I mean stomach-mouth.

Bamp.

Time to head head out with Torpedo Asshole under one arm, and Anon still wrapped in tongue.

>>28583748
Work was alright. I'm tired, starving, I suspect on the verge of hallucinations, but I've done it.

http://imgur.com/a/EssUG#0

Each image has a link to the post it came from in its description. At first I copied the original text over, but it seemed confusing without the other posts around it to provide context.

Anyway, I'm going to go eat now.
And I thought we were playing anon, not neckbeardman. Did I miss something?

>>28588256
>>28584586
>You are now Neckbeard

You don't read subject fields?

>>28588182
Sound plan. I think it would be better if we didn't eat the sentient explosives.

>>28588310
Apparently I don't. Oops.

>>28586140
Anon: I'd say shame on you for selling out the asshole, but it's just what I've come to expect of you. Now, do you have the stones to ambush them while they're talking?

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>>28586192

Yes yes, but how are you going to find her? Or at least lure her?

>>28587552

You loaded Torpedo into bay 2. Which happens to be stomach-mouth.

>Comfy in there?

"Y-yeah.. Ugh."

>>28588985
Say shrines and yin-yang symbols are shit.

>>28588985
Attract her with a rousing rendition of biz markie's "Just a Friend". No one can resist it's siren song.

>>28588985
Where did TA's body go?

They're adventurers, you'd think they'd be fighting monsters.

>>28588985
Go find a thieving which who can shoot giant laser beams from her hand. They tend to get mixed together.

To lure one of THOSE just find a library.

>>28588985
Use bloodhound-like senses to sniff out your buttplug horn. Where the oni is, so is your target.

>>28588985
Alright, here's the plan:
First, bake a cake and frost it with the image of a yin-yang symbol.
Place it on a plate under a box propped up with a stick tied to a piece of rope.
Wait with your companions in a nearby bush, holding the other end of the rope.

>>28588985
Lets hit the streets

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>>28589052

This will be your first plan of action, now we must figure out where in the city she could be.

>>28589094

You have discovered one of the many new abilities Beezlefag had granted you upon revival! You can sniff out anything your body has touched. Or anything that touched you.

You figure out the direction of the horn, and it's most possible the oni/ogre might have it.

>>28589172

This will be plan B.

>>28589632
SEARCH AND MOLEST

>>28589632
walk casualy along the sidewalk in the direction of the horn with anon carried in tounge and TA in lower mouth pushing everyone out of our way in the style of http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=I_izvAbhExY

>>28589632
Combine "Elf Slut" body with "Torpedo Asshole" head in our unhallowed stomach-forge.

>>28589632
reunite torpedo dickhead with his surely wrecked boddy and wrek him if he decides to scram

Bampity.

>>28590430
Is the quest dead? Please, don't let it be so... I need this!

>>28590987
No, OP is slow up update.

>>28590987
Everyone is either busy or sleeping. Also, /tg/ is just a slow board. You can easily let 2-3 hours pass between bumps.

>>28589632
Follow that scent. Ignore the hostiles that try to chase us.

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>>28589656

You leap from the third story apartment complex to follow the scent of the horn that happens to smell like your anus.

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>>28591526

Also, you made sure you have Anon with you. What kind of villain are you without your minion?

>>28591547
Use Anon to break our fall. We can always have Beelze revive him in exchange for his soul. We can barter that since he's our minion, can't we?

>>28591547
Proceed to find the body of Torpedo Asshole.

We might be a crazed abomination, but we still have integrity.

>>28591580
Having achieved drunken nirvana, I expected we'd just return to the greater flow of liquor and spirits, instead of going to hell/heaven/whereeverthatwas. Or would we need to be drunk when we die for that to happen?

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>>28591547

Now before we go track them down, let's take a gander of our surroundings and explain on how our carapace armor had improved. Your new armor can block off 4% damage now, and your mouths won't damage and destroy anything that enters them.

Now the kid happens to live near a liqour store and a library, and what seems to be another business building that other Anonymi tend to dick around in all day and claim it's their job as an excuse to waste the day away so you, the Anonymous, can validate your void lives in this meaningless world. But enough of that!
Someone familiar is across the street, probably going over to the convenience store next to the liquor store for some snacks because why not? Maybe they have some tasty instant meatbread there or some bottles of chocolate milk.

Enough of that you just wish Anon would stop sobbing because he's going to dry out those tear ducts of his and he's going to end up all worn out and won't be able to get any work done!

>>28591665
We are one with inebriation, at peace with the Grand Alcohol and the Wheel of Intoxication.

>>28591691
Wave with mouth-tongue and Anon.

Garush: ...ohs hells naw.

>>28591691
Greet jovially

>>28591691
Get the alcoholic some booze.
Maybe if he's sucking on a bottle he'll stop crying.

>>28591701
If anon doesnt immediately fucking start crying I'm gonna be pissed

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>>28591722
>>28591748

"... Ohs hells naw."

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>>28592124

You greeted the familiar fellow with both Anon, tongue and your hand! You are sure talented, Beardy.

>>28592124
Whats ya think, Yorrick? Cans we takes 'em an save Anon? Or shoulds we play dis real cools...

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>>28592139

BATTLE INSTIGATED

>>28592152
OH GOD OH GOD OH GOD

>>28592152
GARUSH YOU GOTTA NOT DIE BRO

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>>28592198
>>28592152
FUCK

>>28592198
SECONDED
PLEASE GARUSH DON'T THROW YOUR LIFE AWAY

>>28592219
That looks like a staff, not a wooden sword.

I think we have another player here.

>>28592295
mimic?

>>28592295
>>28592302
No, it's still and has always been a kendo stick

>>28592302
Doubtful. I don't think Garush would have just leaped into the fray like that, especially since he was asking Yorrick what her opinion was. My guess: Monster hunter.

>>28592295
no, it looks like a wooden sword
I just wonder when garush got the balls to attack beardstrosity.

>>28592295
Looks like one of Garush's shinnai mate, at least to me.

>>28592332
I suppose it does at that. I thought he got a bokken though.

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I will do better at drawing of the wooden swords. Or bokken. Or hmhmhm

You are now fighting Garush and his party. Anon is BOUND and CRYING, you are still HUNGRY.

"BE PUTTINGS ANONS DOWN"

>>28592394
Hey, no, it's all right. I just couldn't tell. My bad, man.

>>28592394
Throw Anon

>>28592394
Launch Torpedo Asshole from bay 2.

>>28592394
Let Anon's feet touch the ground, but keep him bound otherwise.

>>28592357
He's been consistently drawing shinnai.

To be fair, I completely forgot the proper name for shinnai. That changed when I ran a google image search on bokken a few seconds ago, and one of the pictures was a bokken and shinnai alongside one another.

>>28592394
YORICK YELL REALLY LOUD AND THREATEN TO BITE OFF HIS DICK
THAT SHOULD GIVE HIM LIKE PTSD FLASHBACKS OR SOMETHING

>>28592440
>>28592446
Do these.

Not like they can run. Unless somebody gets some amazing rolls.

>>28592469
I guess I hadn't really noticed. I just figured he'd use bokken since shinnai aren't really effective as weapons outside kendo. They sting, but that's about it. Can't really beat somebody's ass with a bundle of reeds.

But, this is OP's game and I'm along for the ride, so I don't care what he draws one way or the other. I'm not offering criticism here, just clarifying my mistaken assumption.

>>28592394
TONGUE GARUSH'S MANLY CHEST
UNKNOWINGLY MAKE YORICK JEALOUS

>>28592503
Aye, I don't think it matters a bit.
I never had a problem with it, I just forgot that shinnai weren't called bokken, that's all I was pointing out, heh.

>>28592503
They aren't /great/ weapons, but can cause injury.

I had to wear a wrist brace for a month after a fuck up in a choreographed demo, the second one that day. My friend missed a high running clash and hit my wrist, breaking one of the side planks in his shinai.

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Rolled 14

>>28592440

You threw Anon at your foes, Anon takes some damage as a result.

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Rolled 37

>>28592446

You launched Torpedo Asshole at your foes, Torpedo Asshole takes some damage result.

Totally damage to enemy in next post.

(Also, I'm allowing you to suggest attacks for the other side for this battle.)

>>28592950
Oh SHIT yeah.
Can we have anon crawl to the liquor store?

Wait, now that I think about it, Garush is really only there for Anon and TA. Think he might just bolt it now that he has them?

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Rolled 28, 3 = 31

>>28592950

TOTALING DAMAGE

Your turn, Garush Party.

>>28592993
YORICK SCREAM ABOUT EATING HIS DICK DAMMIT

>>28592993
Yorrick: Disorienting Shriek
Garush: Pompablast
Mimic: Assume Form (Random Result of anyone in battle)

>>28592950
Yorick: watch in amusement at these chucklefucks getting tossed about

Garush: use Yorick on a stick to do bonus ghostly damage. (thats a thing righ? ehh fuck it do it anyway)

Chest: hide in the safety of the box that has kept you safe since forever

>>28592993
BANSHEE SCREAM
POMPADOUR SPARK

>>28592993
Yorick: More laughter
Garush: Sord.
Mimic: Wonder wtf is going on. What attacks do mimics have anyway.

>>28593082
We have anon and TA, don;t we? We could just bail with our loot.

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Rolled 1

>>28593014

"I'M GOING TO EAT YOUR FUCKING DICK"

Disorient/Stun chance! 1 is success, 2 is failure.

>>28593300
I can only imagine that shocked looks.

>>28593271
The only question is: can we get away?
The Beardstrosity has reach. Our best bet may just be putting him down.

But we'll have to do it fast. If he gets lucky, he can seriously mess you up.

>>28593300
Beardstrosity: Fear-vomit elven hottie body

Garush: 2+2=Yorrick's new body.

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Rolled 12

>>28593016

Garush whacks You with Yorick! Ghost damage doubles it and will be totalled on the final post. Yorick receives some damage as result.

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>>28593082

Mimic is wondering what the hell is going on. Mimic's skills are:

Copy Cat (Chance to change to random character in battle)
Coin Toss (It's fucking metal shit hurts)
Bite (Bite their fucking legs off)

And other skills I can't really think up at the moment.

>>28593516
>Copy Cat (Chance to change to random character in battle)

Let's do that.

>>28593516
Is it one suggestion per post?

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Rolled 60, 21 = 81

>>28593516

And now totalling the damage..

You are stunned, you miss one turn. You can, however, try to play as Anon or skip this turn.

>>28593516
Leeeet's not give this freako any more money than he could surely murder to gain.
Copycat.

>>28593567
Anon, you are crying, neckbeard is back, and your hangover is impeding your ability to act rationally.

There is only one way to deal with this situation. Make a beeline for the liquor store.

>>28593567
Anon: Tear Barrier around Garush and co.

>>28593567
Anon: negotiate peace between warring factions.

>>28593668
I know we're Neckbeard's minion and all, but we're definately not obligated to benefit him unless he asks for it.

>>28593594
Seconding

>>28593668
Man, we want away from neckbeard

>>28593675
>not being deathly terrified of Neckbeard

>>28593690
All the more reason to be the Genie to his Jafar.

Maybe not the best analogy.

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Rolled 3

>>28593594
>>28593598
>>28593668

Three conflicting answers, the die will decide!

1, you bee-line to the liquor store
2, you help your friends out with tear barrier
3, you negotiate peace between warring factions

>>28593795
best choice right there

>>28593795
I need to learn Java. And flash. And make this game.

>>28593795
well that's right shit then

>>28593851
Yeah.

>>28593866
so how do we go about this? roll for diplomacy? anal circumference?

roll to seduce?

>>28593851
>>28593866
Hey, hey. Operative word here is "try."

>>28593866
I guess we can look at it as a coward's way of protecting Garush & co from Neckbeard.

>>28583810
First reaction is a rail road
>quest threads

>>28593928
Have you been paying a god-damned bit of attention? Things have gotten to the point they're at through audience participation. If you're new, sit back, shut up, and learn the ropes. If you're not new, then you're a dumbass who hasn't been paying attention and should sit back, shut up, and learn the ropes.

Now THAT is a railroad.

>>28593959
This man is a saint of this quest thread.

>>28593906
Guess so. We'd still probably have to be drunk to pull it off.
>>28593928
You have to bait the hooks, anon.

>>28593713
grant his wishes, but refuse to help him hook up with the princess?

>>28593998
Exactly.
Because the princess tried to eat his dick or something.

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You rush into the middle of battle, shouting STOP.
Garush gives you a confused look, Yorick is sporting a wicked grin. Mimic and Neckbeard look confused as well.

"What are you doings Anon?! Gets aways from him!!"

Fuck, what do you say?

>>28594041
Wait... WHY are we helping beardy again?

Anon: Because if you don't he's going to freak out and KILL US ALL! You told me to do something with my indignation, and now I am! Garush, just... just run, okay?

>>28594041
Men were not made to fight eachother.
Men may have come to love war, to love the adrenalin, the thrill of battle, but that is not our natural element. No, my friends, the natural element of man is the tribe, our friends, our family. Through cooperation, unity, and brotherhood does mankind thrive and conquer our environment. Our willingness to forgive one another and forge a path together is what distinguishes us from the beasts of the earth.

We have a chance to stop this needless fighting now, and come together as brothers. I hope that you all will take it.

Campy as hell. I tried.

>>28594041
Stand there vacantly, utterly at a loss for words. Drunken Zen master takes over. Wheel around and head directly for liquor store.

Alternate plan: shed single tear for those lost. Dramatic weight of tear should be enough to end conflict.

>>28594041
"Can we postpone this fight so I can go back to my post and get some CLOTHES before I'm flung around any more?!"

>>28594089
Seconding this.

>>28594094
I second this.

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>>28594094

You ended up shedding more than one tear for those lost. Everybody kept giving you a weird look.

>>28594122

>Because if you don't he's going to freak out and kill us all!
>You told me to do something with my indignation, and now I am!

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>>28594378

"But Anons-"

>Garush, just... just run, okay?

"Not withouts you."

>>28594394
Garush: Pour your life force into a single blow. Save your friend, even at the expense of yourself.

"Mans gots ta do whats a mans gots ta do."

MANLY BLOW!

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>>28594394

"KISS ALREADY!"

It is now Team Garush's turn.

>>28594407
God damn it, Yorrick is best girl.

>>28594407
grab anon and bail. Ask mimic if he has some pants stored

>>28594407
Anon: Swap Sides
Team: Run. So hard. And take Torpedo Asshole.

>>28594394
wow
so bro
such manly
very pompadour
>>28594407
Best character.

Not the beardstrosity's turn yet, but we need a more competent minion. He's a crybaby drunk with no discernible talents, and he actually thought he could appeal to whatever we have in place of compassion and human empathy.

We should either eat him or ditch him.

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>>28594418
>>28594426

Garush's team had grabbed Anon and Torpedo Asshole and ran for it.

What the fuck man they stole your minion that shit's like your property. A magical healing alcohol dispenser.

He dispenses alcohol right? Because he smelt like freshly opened peppermint schnapps when he started crying or some shit.

>>28594580
Oh my god it's way too early to be laughing this fucking hard...

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>>28594580
>peppermint schnapps

Let them keep him.

>>28594580
Looks like it's time to find new minions. Maybe that unicorn girl?

>>28594624
I second this motion. Return to anon's place of residence and look for something that would tell us where the lurking facility is.

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>>28594604
>>28594624

Your minion had not proven of any use since he agreed to follow you. Well, he wasn't a good minion or you weren't a good master. Most likely the former, you believe.
But fuck, you were probably going to use him as a meat shield and throw Torpedo Asshole at Shrine Maiden.

Oh well, you'll deal with him if you see him again. Now Charlotte? You can try to recruit her, but first, you need to know where to find her.

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>>28594718

You return to Anon's place of residence for clues to his lurking facility. The place smells heavily of many liquors and alcohols, gun powder, tea, cologne, and.. Some sort of water that's making you feel uneasy?

There are books and bottles scattered around the place. The kitchen, living room, bedroom, and even the bathroom.

Where do you look first?

>>28594796
>Search his backpack.

>>28594796
Loot his wallet.

>>28594796
Look for something emotionally valuable to masturbate on.

>>28594812
>>28594827
>>28594877
All of these, simultaneously.

>>28594796
Bedroom obviously. He probably keeps her looted panties in there.

>>28594796
Draw pictures of dicks all over everything.

>>28594912
>With your semen

Bump, for OP.

>>28596242
Plump for OP.

>>28594796
Search his teapot obviously.

>>28598341
lewd
too lewd

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>>28594812
>>28594898

You head into the bedroom and the first thing that caught your eye was his schoolbag that was infront of his bed. You open it up and the contents are:
Two books, a bottle with some sparkling liquid inside, an empty bottle next to said sparkling liquid bottle, piece of paper and a photo.

Other bedroom contents happen to be empty bottles and more books scattered around, alongside a few pieces of tissue and articles of clothing. The bedroom closet is locked, however.
Anon's computer is still on, there are empty bottles under the desk too.

>>28600751
TIME TO START DRINKING

>>28600751
FUCK THIS RETARD >>28600793
LOOK AT THE PHOTO TO FIND OUT MORE ABOUT OUR MINIONS LOVED ONES
PART OF BEING A GOOD MASTER IS KNOWING YOUR MINIONS. ONCE WE MENTION THEM HE'LL BE SO OVERJOYED TO FIND OUT WE CARE.

>>28600848
FUCK OFF RETARD

>>28600751
WE ARE GOING TO FILL EVERY FUCKING ORIFICE WITH SPARKLY WATER

>>28600751
Look at paper and photo. If those don't tell us anything then use his computer to look up the closest lurking facility.

>>28600868
EAT DICKS FAGGOT, MINE WAS THE FIRST EVENS.

Rolled 34

>>28601007
EAT DICKS NIGGER, I'M GONNA ROLL AND GET DUBS

>>28601157
FUCK

>>28601202
#REKT
EVEN LIFE HATES YOU

>>28600868
Water that made us feel uneasy.
Sparkly water.

Guys, maybe this is a stretch, but I think that's holy water. I can only imagine what that would have done to use before the deal with Beelze, and I shudder at what would happen now.

>>28601383
Anon's an alcoholic, it's probably just absinthe or something

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>>28600848
>>28600868

You pop open the lid of the sparkling water bottle and began sipping from it. Kind of spicy.

You examine the photo of what appears to be Minion the 1st and some guy with a stubble. The paper reads:

Hey little bro,

The paladin academy is not as easy as we'd thought it be, but it's worth leaving 4chan for another world. Sure, they'll probably send me back because of the huge influx of unholy beasts that inhabit the lands, but it's a real breather.
I'm going to try to put in a good word for you when you finish your lurking (you can stop whenever and call me, c'mon), so try finishing early!
And try to take care of that drinking problem of yo-

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>>28601646

This drink is really fucking nasty and is burning up your mouth now.

Does this kid not know how to drink?!

>>28601662
tuck photo into neckbeard
go in search of minion the 1st or charlotte, whichever is closer

>>28601662
Wrap it up in towels and store it in your lower mouth.

>>28601698
Let's go for charlotte.
It's been so long.

And that shit is totally holy water.

>>28601748
I can support going for charlotte

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>>28601698

You tuck the photo into your neckbeard, where the rest of your cash monies and other looted goods you got from your previous crusades while you were not playing as Neckbeard inside.

>>28601704

There were no towels around, so not only did you wrap the bottle with the letter, but with the nearest clothing you can grab onto and storeed it into you lower mouth.

>>28601748

You still do not know the whereabouts of Charlotte, or the Lurking Facility she goes to.

>>28601978
Start searching and asking around then. We found elf wench, we can find unicorn girl.

>>28602065
Seconded.

>>28601978
Find Charlotte. Her horn is ribbed for our pleasure.

>>28601978
check his computer for compromising information and/or his stash of porn to use as blackmail against him if he resists his master's will further

>>28602242
There could also be upskirt pictures of Charlotte.

Which would explain why she tried to sodomize him with her horn.

>>28602999
the trips demand it be done, for the upskirt panty shot

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You began your search on his computer for any information on Charlotte. You enter one of his folders and opened up a file called REVENGE.PNG.
Could this be Charlotte's sweet, sweet ass?

>>28603876
Zoom! Enhance!

>>28603876
Maybe we can blackmail her.

>>28603876
Print out a hundred copies and make them rain from the sky.

>>28603962
oh god yes

>>28603876
Print up "Lost Dog" flyers. Post one in every thread.

"Have you seen this ass?"

>>28603876
Oh god this guy is either into wolves or homestuck.

Delete it, and then search his whole computer for any more related stuff to delete.

We're doing him a favor here.

>>28603876
Does he have a dickpick in his taskbar?

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>>28603938
Indeed, if our terrifying presence, excellent reach, and luscious neckbeard doesn't keep her where we want her, then now we have blackmail. It just keeps getting better.

>>28603876
We better look for more blackmail material.

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>>28603934

You selected the entire image and resized it by x300 y300.

>>28603938

You'll need to find a means on how, this kid doesn't have a printer!

>>28604022

That looks like teamspeak down at his taskbar, alongside with photoshop, skype, folder to library and his internet browser.

>>28604171
check his internet history

>>28604171
Email it to all his contacts.

>>28604171
check his browser history, download history, download folder, and skype messages in that order

>>28604171
Wait, those are feathers under her ass. That's not Charlotte, that's the harpy bitch.

>>28604171
God fucking dammit it was supposed to be a joke. Check his internet history. I expect messed up stuff like chicks farting on cakes.

I guess you could email it to all his contacts and to yourself.

>>28604171
Uninstall Skype.

>>28604171
Get on his facebook and send an inbox to charlotte.
"You want it? Come get it ~<3 :* "

>>28604190
Poor Neckbeard will be horrified by all the /e/.

>>28604279
Her legs were curved in the first picture.
She has legs like Pan. So they're fuzzy. That's fur, not feathers.

>>28604313
this is a good plan

>>28604171
check his downloads, his browser history, his emails and his skype contacts then photoshop for any shoops he may have done (i dont know how photoshop works)

>>28604339
Maybe, but harpies have those backward-facing legs too. I think.

>>28604344
fuck yeah evens and dubs too

>>28604354
I think you're right. Don't remember.

But still, that looks like fur more than feathers.

>>28604171
i think he took the picture then used photshop to X-ray it, ive seen some x-rays in my day, i am an old fag. bt he faped to it afterwards

>>28604423
It's also blown up to 300x300. Probably some pixilation.

>>28604439
It's entirely possible that we're over thinking this.

>>28604506
Probably.

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>>28604190

You check his browser history, and boy does he get around on /e/. Stupid pervert.
He has went to:
/e/- Ecchi
GUROchan's /g/ and /f/, atleast once
DOGQUEST.org
dogchocolate.com
youtube
Various alcohol related sites
Some kind of sigil related site
And a bunch of other boring shit you could not bring yourself to look up.

>>28604324

You're damn right you are afraid of all this /e/.

>>28604676
>Some kind of sigil related site
Lets look at this

Also
>DOGQUEST.org
>dogchocolate.com

...

>>28604676
>Find his contact list.

Let's start emailing people everything.

Enough of this disgusting /e/ shit, we have things to do.

>>28604676
Read the latest dog quest

Clearly it is the greatest work of our time.

>>28604881
Seconded.
See if you can find Charlotte's contact info.
Once we have it, send her the picture, tell her to meet us at some place.

We have a unicorn girl to catch.

>>28604676
Look at the sigil site

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>>28604902

You check out the dog quest website, and it looks like it's at that part where the Princess Dog thanks the Mail Dog for bringing her mail and for rescuing the Cake Maiden from the Shroom Witch.

It hasn't been updated since last month, it's creator had gone missing.

>>28605187
Neckbeard: Get to your fucking revenge quest or you'll end up sitting here all night reading quest threads and probably jacking off to whatever weird shit Anon is into.

>>28605187
Look for a camera. Snap a picture of your junk. Set as new wallpaper.

>>28605187
Look up the lyrics for Just A Friend. You don't want to be caught with your pants down when the time comes.

>>28605187
>Send the picture of Charlotte's butt to everyone.

If we can't print it we can at least find it everywhere.

>>28605240
Yessssss.

>>28604676
You can browse other boards?
Can you browse /tg/?
What happens if you post there?

>>28605187
Start a new quest called BeardButtQuest.

>>28605187
copy/paste his browser history into his facebook feed and confess to being a pervert and proud. thitl teach your minion to leave with the enemy

>>28605334
to meta and the world is plunged into darkness until moot fixes the servers from the feedback overload

>>28605334
He clones himself?

Does he get's his old post back, meatbread and all?

>>28605187
Can we do >>28604925 now?

>>28605187
Poleet bamp.

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>>28605240

You discover that the desk has some drawers and open one of them up. Contents contain:

A phone
Some books
Tissue
Two bottles of whiskey
Crumpled tissue
A picture of a dog
A headset
Some pens
A bottle of lube
Some loose change (+5 monies)
And a thumb drive

The phone looks like it has a camera built in it.

>>28606268
Steal the thumb drive and upload the revenge.png to the phone

>>28606268
Grab the following:

>And a thumb drive
>A bottle of lube
>A picture of a dog
>Two bottles of whiskey

Put revenge pic on the thumb drive and mail them to your own account and to Charlotte.

Drink the whiskey.

>>28606268
>Dick as wallpaper.

Also >>28606289

>>28606268
Go through the phone's contact list and message log. Stuff tissues into the whiskey bottles for improvised molotov cocktails. Look through the thumb drive. Drop the phone book spine-up to see what pages it opens more readily toward, implying frequency of access to those pages.

>>28606268
check whats on he thumb drive

>>28606289
Suggesting this

>>28606268
plug thumb drive into computer and see whats on it, checkwhat we can find on the phone such as pictures, texts and contacts

>>28606317
Seconding this.

We can be lazy and let her come to us. We don't need to find the lurking facility then.

If we post her ass everywhere, then there's no reason for her to seek us out if we mail it to her.

>>28606404
You were the only one to get evens.
Damn.

>>28606329
Seconding.

>>28606329
This

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>>28606329

Let's put that all into order:
You first look through the thumb drive. Nothing in it, not until you dragged Charlotte's ass into it.

>>28608151
It's actually anon's ass. He dresses up as a girl and takes lewd upskirt pics of himself

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>>28606289

You upload revenge.png to the phone, and set it as the phone's background just for good measure.

>>28606329

Anon's contact list:

Garush
Anonymi of various ID
Charlotte
Anon's Brother (?)

There are various message logs varying of dates, and there have been messages long left unanswered.

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>>28606329

You then proceed to stuff tissue into the whiskey bottles for later use, but you can't seem to find any phone books in here..

>>28608200
Send Charlotte the picture and say "I'll be at my apartment ;)"

>>28608250
I like this idea.

>>28608240
Sorry, misread "A phone and some books" as "some phone books." Don't know why.

>>28608250
>>28608292
Must we go after the horned waifu? I'd rather go wreck Garush until he joins us.

>>28608350
Where Charlotte comes, comes cyclops faggot.

We could get two minions for the price of one

>>28608333
And since I got these trips, I may as well use them and second >>28608250

>>28608350
We're going to use her as a punching bag for our new powers, then see if we can recruit her and get her to go after shrine maiden and the oni with us. Plus, she goes to Anon's lurking facility, so we can track him down.

>>28608359
Well, he ain't our boy yet but the brotha is heavy.

I'm sure we can persuade them with our current power, though.

>>28608359
charlotte is not the shrine maiden

>>28608428
I think you're confusing the Ogre with the Cyclops dude

>>28608428
And?
They can help us kill the shrine maiden

Doofus.

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>>28608250

Perfect, she's on her way.

What should you do while you wait? There's booze and books lying around, you have someone else's computer to yourself, or you can check to see if your stats have updated!

>>28608568
Just as planned.

Let's soak the place in alcohol first. That way if things start going south we can set the place on fire and escape in the ensuing confusion.