You are Frederick Wilhelm Rommel, you've just met your Griffon in the men's bathroom, courtesy of a badly timed bathroom break.>Archive: http://suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/archive.html?tags=Bathroom%20Griffon (First thread is under Soldier Quest, which I've stopped using because of all the other Soldier Quests)You give your griffon a resigned sigh and run over names in your head. Nothing too ostentatious, you don't want to be that fuck who marches Lord Otto The Fourth into a fancy party all dressed up like a porcelain doll. You think on it a moment as the Griffon hops from foot to foot and looks at you expectantly."You're Albrecht," you say, slowly and clearly, "Albrecht. Got it?" Albrecht stops hopping and nods at you. It squawks kind of inaudibly. "I'm going to assume that that's a yes," you finish before going to see how everyone else is doing....It's a little bit depressing, actually. Adam got the proud, white-headed pack-leader (Though he was rather scratched up by the time you showed), Claude got the Red Lammergeier Griffon you were eying, Gustav got a monster of a gold-feathered Griffon that hadn't even showed itself before he walked into the eyrie, Franzi got a sickly thing with clumps of missing fur, but hers was easily twice the size of even Gustav's, and Karl had gotten one who's only notable quality were its brilliant red wings.You look at your Griffon again, and it kind of slinks away in shame as you judge it.>[ ] This is bullshit.>[ ] This is /so/ bullshit.>[ ] Eh, I'll deal.>[ ] Write-in
>[ ] Eh, I'll deal.At least it's pretty smart, from what we've seen. Intelligence might trump size, in this case.
>>28514427>[ ] Eh, I'll deal.
>>28514427>>[ ] Eh, I'll deal.
>>28514427>[ ] Eh, I'll deal.Ask it casually: "Eh, so you do anything special?"
>>28514534You sigh, sure, it's not the Griffon you wanted, and you'd rather one of the others, but at least it's got brains going for it. And it knows how to use a bathroom, which is kind of spiffy.Admittedly, it isn't 'double sized mutant of death' or 'monstrous gold-feathered' spiffy. But hey, you'll take what you can get.Albrecht seems to pick up on your acceptance and stops cowering in a corner. You idly scratch him behind the ears (Which he kindly doesn't maim you for) as Claude makes a beeline for you."Hey, Fred! How are ya?" she calls, "Found a little guy, I see. What're you calling him?""Albrecht," you say."Albrecht? Really? That's a /people/ name, that's boring, I mean, not 'I need to compensate for my social insecurity with a giant golden monster' boring, sure, but I figured you'd have a /bit/ better a name than /Albrecht/," she says. She presents her red griffon proudly, and it lowers its haunches to allow her to clamber onto its back, "/This/ is Mordgeier.""...You called your griffon Murder Vulture," you say, "And somehow /Gustav/ is the one compensating?""Hey! Fuck you," she says, "Mordgeier is an awesome name." The Red gives a bark of approval. "Anyways, yeah, you missed the rest of Lord Windbag's little speech while you were in the loo. We've got the rest of the day off, just have to fly off this rock on our own and show up at the Airship Tower tomorrow at mid-day. Oh, right, and here you go." She throws you a bag, which rings with the sound of coins banging together as you catch it. "First paycheck, Windbag told me to give it to you once you got out."Huh, you've got cash, a griffon and twenty four hours to do whatever the hell you want. And of course there's the first proper flight, basically everyone's told you that it's a bit of a tradition to do show off during it.So, what's your plan?> First flight on Albrecht, anything in particular you want to try?> Day (and night!) on the town, what do?
>>28515330> First flight on Albrecht, anything in particular you want to try?Fucking flips' n shit. Also fly as high up as the griffon possible can, and do a dive almost all the way to ground level.
>>28515330>> First flight on Albrecht, anything in particular you want to try?Let's try to get the hang of flying him first.
>>28515330Lets have some fun. Albrecht seems like a fellow with good maneuverability so lets do some sick tricks.Also a cool trick if we could manage it could be to fly high up, flip a coin, let it fall for a while and then chase after it and pierce it with our sword.
>>28515330Get used to each other, do some maneuvers and figure out what he can do all day! Then we go chill in the Griffon friendly park and eat with our bro and invite the other recruits to join for dinner.
You do have an entire day to burn before the mustering, any plans after the flight?
>>28515449This is a good plan. I like this plan. This plan has my approval and support.
>>28515970Hang out with our new squad. Get to know them better. In a squad everybody should know each others strength and weaknesses. We should especially get to know the girls in the squad.
>>28516032Seconding the girls.
>>28516032Let's just get to know the guys first. Bro's before ho's, and all..
>>28515449"Thanks Claude," you say, "I'll meet up with you lot once I'm done showing off.""Hah, good luck, I don't plan to spend my last night on firm ground commiserating over cheap beer," says Claude, "Mordgeier, away!" She doesn't have to prompt the Griffon, it runs straight for the edge of the eyrie and leaps off, taking flight on brilliant red wings.You turn to Albrecht, "Well, you heard her. Let's go." The Griffon nods in understanding and lowers its front legs for you to hop on.Which, due to its size, was entirely unnecessary. But hey.You press in with your legs and Albrecht runs for the lip of the Eyrie, you can hear Franzi yelling something, and her monster follows you soon after. You get to the lip a second or so before her and Albrecht leaps, flapping frantically to gain height and speed.You start climbing, slowly, surely, but picking up speed. Franzi and Gustav overtake you, at first you think it's because theirs are simply /far/ more massive than yours, more wing-power after all. Then you realize that Franzi's casting, a carpet of heat in front of and beneath their Griffons. A moving thermal, to assist with liftoff. You're kind of curious as to how Franzi came up with the idea.Still, you have better things to do then wonder about magic right now, you nudge Albrecht into their wake, taking advantage of the Thermal to speed your ascent. Gustav (Or maybe his Griffon) lose patience and dive first, then Franzi. You continue to ascend pushing into the clouds until the air grows thin and cold, and then you press yourself into Albrecht's back, wrap your legs around its neck and dive.Griffon's are /absolutely/ /amazing/ divers, even kinda runty socially awkward ones who've house-trained themselves.The wind whipping through your hair, threatening to rip your from Albrecht's back, the ground zooming up towards you as you pass Franzi, then Gustav, then Claude and Karl, the raw, unfiltered /adrenaline/. It's like nothing you've ever done.>(1/?)
>>28516727The ground rushes towards you, you nudge Albrecht subtly as it approaches, trying to aim /roughly/ for town. You don't want to spend too much time just gliding back to town, after all.The brown blur grows into a distinct streets, which sprout buildings, which grow larger and larger as you approach at blinding speeds. You pull up, almost at the last possible moment, gliding mere meters over the rooftops and narrowly dodging trees as you bleed speed. You whoop in exhilaration as you watch people turn and watch your passing, and Albrecht joins in with a roar as you ascend ever so slightly to pass over the wall.You come to a stop about a mile outside of town by a road, slowly touching down without incident. You give Albrecht an appreciative scratch behind the ears as it trots around, rather enjoying appreciative and inquisitive glances from onlookers.You eventually pull Albrecht away from his preening, instead following Adam's Griffon as it lands a bit further up the road. He's swearing at his Griffon when you arrive, which is hissing at him in return.Karl lands behind him, grinning. You can see Gustav and Franzi slowly gliding towards you, but you've no idea where Claud and Mordgeier are.>[ ] "Performance Issues?">[ ] "You lot seen Claude?">Write In
>>28517372>[x] "Performance Issues?"
>>28517372>[ ] "Performance Issues?"
>>28517372>[X] "Performance Issues?"
>>28517372>>[X] "You lot seen Claude?"
>>28517429You spur Albrecht onwards and pull next to Adam, a sly grin worming its way onto your face. "So, Adam," you say. You pause as he turns, waiting vital moments before delivering, "Performance issues?"It takes him a moment to get it, but him flipping you off as Karl laughs is /priceless/. "You two are horrible," he mutters, then he starts forcing his Griffon to turn, "I'm going to give it another go. I'll meet up with you lot later.""Oh come on," you say, "We were going to hang out. Drink or shop or something and share bullshit stories.""You can tell me all about it later, then," says Adam, "I've got to tame Hoffart here before tomorrow." Then he kicks Hoffart again, and after quite a bit of wrangling gets the Griffon to take off.>After him.>Fuck it, hang out with the others>>Into town for food/beer?>>Shopping?>>Just hang out outside of town and talk?
>>28518141>Fuck it, hang out with the others
>>28518141>Fuck it, hang out with the others>>Into town for food/beer?Lets take a celebratory beer with our squad!
>>28518141>Fuck it, hang out with the others>>Into town for food/beer?I still mourn the loss of Brogriffon.So we turn to man's second best friend, beer.
>>28518141Beer and hanging out works for me.
>28517372>>Fuck it, hang out with the others>>>Into town for food/beer?
>>28518265Yaaaay Beer.>Writan.>Dinner caused delays likely, should still reach the Richtofen before I'm done for the night.
>>28518141Guys, for the dynamic duo that we have going, I was thinking we could be like Tom Cruise and Our Griffon be Bruce Willis.Think Top Gun meets Die Hard tier Griffon.
>>28518729Or actually, reverse that. Our Griffon is crazy over the top hotshot with nothing to lose and we are Bruce Willis, murder machine who will crawl through glass to get to his opponents.
>>28518729How about the Griffin be the suave gentlemen badass that picks up all the chicks, I guess like a James Bond. And we can be Tom cruise and Bruce Willis both!?"You want to what?! While on FIRE?!.... thats just crazy enough to work!"
Okay, so from what can be seen, our griffin's primary attribute so far (aside from being titchy and housetrained), is that it can dive really, really, really fast. Like, "we overtook three other griffins who were stooping at full speed from lower altitudes than us" fast.Happily, we already have one of the tools we can use to exploit this; a high-quality reinforced sword (thank you dad!) Now we need two more:a) A reinforced sword-arm, because if we can learn how to land an overarm blow while diving, it's going to make the mounted-soldier-hacks-through-your-helmet-with-a-cavalry-sabre thing look like an ant punch by comparison. The only issue is that unless we have some way to deal with the jolt, we'll break our own arm doing it.b) A projectile weapon and good aim. Possibly a musket, but I'm actually more tempted to go for a crossbow, since a quarrel will have more mass, is silent, and is already pretty damn good at penetrating. We lose out on reloading speed, but we've got time to do that while we're up in the sky - or we could get an auto-reloading one. And a crossbow bolt, fired from a nice powerful bow, loosed from the stooping-speed Albrecht can apparently hit? Yeah, I'd give that good odds on punching clean through anything short of tank armour.
>>28518938So basically, we're the Bounce King of the Eyrie?
>>28518938I thought we were already using a mauser for the projectile weapon?besides, with a dive bomb rate like that our specialty is probably going to be getting close and business-like.I think our griffon has got some Peregrin Falcon blood in him or something.
>>28518938Hopefully speed in general is its forte.
>>28519044Good thing we went with sniping in that case.
>Fuck it, hang out with the others>>Into town for food/beer?You decide that Adam'll be fine, and you're not exactly going to help out by needling him while he beats on his Griffon....You could have phrased that better.Ignoring accidental mental innuendo, you have better things to do than chase down Adam as he deals with his choice in Griffon. Like beer. And beer-like liquids. And theoretically non-liquid beers, but you're not sure if those're a thing."So..." you say, "Whose up for dinner and drinks?""I'm in," says Karl immediately."Sure," says Franzi soon after. Gustav hesitates, then realizes that no-one has said no and kind of nods his head."Brilliant!" you say, "Follow me!" You turn Albrecht around, and without further ado head into town and find the nearest bar.The Griffons are tied to a post outside, it's not likely to actually hold them if they decide to leg it, but you each emphatically tell them to stay so you're /pretty/ sure they will. Then it's inside. The bar is dimly lit, the bartender a young local man, and the stock both large and varied. There are plenty of bargoers, men and women, alone and in groups, getting drunk, having meals and generally enjoying themselves as the radio plays something bouncy and foreign that you can't understand.You find empty seats at the bar, you sit at one end, next to a one-eyed young woman in an air-force uniform and order a cheap beer. Franzi and Karl sit in the middle and order something a bit more expensive, while Gustav ends up next to a boy you're /reasonably/ sure hasn't breached sixteen yet and orders an honest-to-Pyres tapwater.>Conversation?
>>28519271Get drunk and start making passes at the woman next to you.
>>28519271Ask Gustav who his boyfriend is, laugh, then buy the kid something incredibly strong to see if he drinks it.Then start chatting up the cyclops.
>>28519271How did they get their griffins? Any amusing injuries for you to laugh at?(Oh wait dammit that means they're going to ask about ours quick quick make something up dammit)
>>28519271Ask the obligatory, why every one joined up and get to know them then segway into talkin to the one eyed lady more fun with more people.
>>28519271First things first, we get something for our Griffon.He's our comrade, and he better damn sure feel like it.Then we talk with our buds, preferably outside with Albrecht.
>>28519271Order a bucket of beer for Albrecht and take it out to him.Then see if we can strike up a conversation with Fraulein Air Force.
>>28519476Yeah, we need to take care of our griffon.
>>28519476You decide to get Albrecht something to eat, you're going to be leaving the poor guy outside while you enjoy yourself, after all, might as well get him a meal."Oy, Barkeep, I've got a Griffon outside, can you have a boy send him a leg of mutton and a bucket of beer?" you say."Sure," says the Barkeep amiably, "Uh, can you describe the Griffon?""It's the small one," you say. He names a price, which is reasonable, you hand over some coins and he turns to fill up the bucket.You wonder why he's taking so long for a moment, and are about to say something when your three squadmates all more-or-less simultaneously ask him to bring food and beer to their Griffons as well. He turns, smiling, takes quite a lot more money, and starts filling more buckets with beer.You take the opportunity to talk to the Fraulein next to you. You'd buy her a drink, but the bartender is kind of busy with the Griffons.So...one drink for bravery. And another for luck. And here you go."Hello," you say, extending a hand, "Frederick Rommel, pleasure to meet you." This bit's simple, yeah, look open, confident, no big deal.She gives you a glance and a once-over and then shrugs. "Gertrud von Richthofen. Colonel Gertrud von Richthofen. Or Lady, I guess," she says, "The pleasure's all yours, I'm sure." Your brain makes the connection, you pause."...As in the airship?" says Karl, neatly interrupting you."Indeed," she says, "I command the Sturmritter aboard my mother's ship. And you'd be some of our new Griffon Knights." You're not sure if she's disapproving. Shit."Yes," you go with, "Yes we are. These are Karl, Franzi and Gustav. Our Griffons are outside.">(No they aren't. 1/2)
This is roughly when Albrecht decides that he does not particularly want to be outside and stumbles through the door, struggling to fit inside the cramped bar, wavering slightly. The bartender is behind him, trying to drag him back outside.Albrecht looks at the occupants of the bar, who stare at him in turn, and then kind of awkwardly tries to shrink and starts gingerly stepping between the tables as if the manager wasn't there, carefully avoiding bumping into anyone or anything despite being visibly tipsy. The bartender gives up, eventually, and looks at the four of you kind of uselessly as Albrecht continues to explore the bar, occasionally sniffing the air and adjusting course."Is that /your/ Griffon?" asks Gertrud as Albrecht sidles into the mens bathroom.>....What do.
>>28520505*faceplam*"Goddamn it, Albrecht. Yes. He house trained himself, apparently."
>>28520505"Yes. Yes he is. Please excuse me a moment."Let's make sure they have enough TP for our Griffon.
>>28520505"Uhhh.. excuse me a minute... must be an emergency.." Then go ask him whats up
>>28520505Help your griffon. Maybe he wants company.
>>28520595We don't explicitly know that he housetrained himself, do we? Just that he knows how to use the toilet.
>>28520743We just know that he was in the toilet when we found him.
>>28520785Right. So we can say that he is housetrained, but we don't know that he did it himself.We are not yet aware of how awesome Albrecht is.
>>28520505Is Albrecht boy or girl? Can it tell the difference between men's and women's bathrooms, or does it have gender issues?
>>28520824OP told in the previous thread that "one of the choices has housetrained itself, for example", and it pretty much has to be Albrecht. So there's that.
>>28521040Right, but that was OP, not our commanding officer. /tg/ knows this, but WE don't know this. Unless this is one of those quests where metagaming is encouraged.
>>28520743Which is why I put apparently at the end of the sentence. Because who would bother teaching a griffion that?
>>28521214I don't know, but even humans require someone to potty train them, so I wouldn't assume Albrecht had figured it out himself.
>>28521301Hes a genius gonna make some clockwork armor for himself and everything, shoulda named him Stark
>>28521214Maybe he's just cruising, though?
>>28520595Your hand, ever so slowly, creeps up and hits you right in your absurdly unlucky face.Of course, you have the only griffon on the sphere that wants to use a bathroom when it sharts."That...is Albrecht," you say solemnly, "And yes. He's mine.""That's /brilliant/," says Gertrud as a /very/ perturbed middle aged man stumbles out of the bathroom and starts kind of mouthing things wordlessly, "House-trained Griffons. Maybe you lot /aren't/ relics.""Thank you?" you say, "However, I should probably make sure he hasn't ruined something." And, as soon as if on queue, Albrecht sneaks out of the bathroom, sidles across the bar, and ducks outside. There are many stares, and a lot of whispering, but after you check the (actually rather clean) bathroom it begins to die down.The rest of your squad is less lucky, the bartender grabs them after a bit and informs them that /their/ griffons have made...a bit of a mess outside. And he rather expects them to clean it up or pay for it.They all dutifully accept cleaning supplies from the irate bartender, and then you're alone with Gertrud again. Somehow the entire 'toilet-trained Griffon' thing doesn't seem so bad anymore."So, Frederick," she says, "You /must/ tell me, how did you ever manage to house-train a Griffon?">Truth>Lie>Workout tomorrow morning, will have to end this early.>Vote on first assignment:>[ ] The Biologist>[ ] Foreign Matters
>>28521015Boy, it is consistently going into men's bathrooms.
>>28521826>TruthStranger than the lie, that's for sure.>[ ] Foreign Matters
>>28521826>Truth>[ ] Foreign Matters
>>28521826>[x] Truth>[x] Foreign MattersI like the juxtaposition.
>>28521826>Lie>[ ] Foreign Matters
>>28521826Truth and Biologist
>>28521826Otherwise nice quest, but why do we spend so much time on griffon bathroom habits...?
>>28522107Because it's hilarious and how we met.
>>28518938Actually with its smaller size, we could use its agility to our advantage to flank opponents and attack from behind.Our griffin's basically the dex based Rogue of griffins.
>>28521826> Truth>[ ] The Biologist
>>28522228Yeah, we gonna do some crazy maneuvering
>>28527172>>28522228Given that Albrecht is a fucking genius, we can probably teach him to fight independently of us and set up for him to flank Sneak Attack while we cut things up with our sword.
>>28527260Genius or just hungry for cock? Only time will tell.
>>28527304>>28528141Yeah, seriously, what?
>>28527304>>28528141>>28528540Am confused, what ?
>>28530737Speculation about what could motivate a griffon to learn about toilets in the first place. I'd say toilet > gay sex is much bigger conceptual leap that toilet > shit, so I don't think it's that. Most likely he just takes to following people around out of curiosity, which is a bit weird in its own way but at least relatively innocent.