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>>28411859

"IF I STILL HAD AN ASS I WOULD TELL YOU TO RIDE A WHEEL BARREL FULL OF DICKS UP IT YOU-"

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>>28409796

You quickly take TORPEDO ASSHOLE's head out of your inventory and shove him right in her face.

>Here's am someones you cans relates to, Yorick!

>>28411885
Wait. Up HER ass?

>>28411903
Tsundere and kinky. The best combination.

>>28411899
Help anon investigate chest.

>>28411899
Open the chest, then look for the NPC they were harassing.

>>28412215
Reroll

>>28411899
>>28411903
up yours assks? Are yous hittingsk on mesk?

>>28411899
Fuckin' 'ell. We need the anon with charisma back.

Hm. "Wes only took ya head off 'cause wes thoughts yous was a real puppet. If yous willin' ta be civil and behaves yaself, maybe wes can work together ta figure somethin' out? Wes don't wanna leaves ya at the hands of neckbeard, buts if its comes to thats... well, we wouldn'ts wants ta see such a nice face losts forever."

I'm not sure its really all that good. But I'd like to try diplomacy. She'd be a nice ally, if we can make her into one. At the least she won't try to kill us.

captcha: ialsoap Ichabod
Huh. Coincidences.

>>28412485
Read her dialogue. Properly. What is she telling you to shove, and where?

>>28412591
a wheelbarrow full of dicks up HER ass.

She says if she still had an ass she'd tell you to shove something up it.

>>28412591
A wheelbarrow full of dicks.
With Garush riding it.
Up her ass.

That's what I broke it down into, but if you could point out how it's wrong, let me know, because that seemed confusing when used as an insult.

>>28412644
That's my point exactly.

>>28412663
In all fairness, the delivery of the line doesn't really make it look like a compliment.

Unless she's just incredibly enthusiastic.

>>28412695
thats why I thought being snarky would be a good idea. Throw her off her game, maybe get her to reveal something.

>>28412955
I'm not sure how much there is to reveal.
They're probably just petty street thugs.
Probably.
Or maybe... maybe they're part of a vast conspiracy. Paranoia ho!

>>28411899
Play ya cards right and ya may have it back soonahs ratha than lattas. Now you an nosecone heah gets cozy whiles mah associate and I looks at dis box.

>>28414299
Garush: Open the box by knocking on it.

"Eeeeeyyyyyyyyys."

>>28414325
When that doesn't work, kick it open with MANLY STRENGTH!

>>28411899
Now breed them together to create the strongest race of floating heads on the board.

>>28414585
Dey's people... kinda... and dis ain't /vp/.

Well, da banshee is. Nosecone totally gon' get used ta blow ups someones.

>>28414701
You want an army of possessed flying torpedo heads? A shame.

I guess we could use duct tape to put her back on her old body.

.>>28414770
Nah, we's gonna gets her fixeds up rights. We shouldn't a rippeds her head off inna first places.

>>28414810
Da questions aints whats but hows.

>>28414847
Back-alley cleric. Or necromancer.

Maybe beardstrosity can help.

>>28414879
>Maybe beardstrosity can help.
Youz be talkin likez a madman.

Let be tryin that backalleys necromansar.

>>28415248
Necromancers, especially back alley ones, are usually pretty expensive with their necromancy. We may need to earn more money.

>>28415440
What do you suggest we could do to amass large amounts of money?

We could try bounty hunting or somesuch.

>>28416463
I'm not sure if Anon could handle that.

>>28416553
Do we care about that? I mean, come on.

Whats the worst that could happen?

>>28417030
Of course we care, because Garush is not a sociopath.

I mean, we saved him from the beardstrosity. We've got a vested interest.

Also,

>>28414325
>>28414571

These.

>>28417030
Basically, for insane shenanigans we have The Neckbeard. For a slightly more sensible protagonist group, we have Garush and Crynon. Only slightly more sensible, but we need something that isn't rapemurderdeathkill with a side of lolsorandom shenanigans all the time. Not that I don't enjoy those things, but having less insane protags isn't a bad thing either.

>>28418123
As the one who suggested that our most defining feature be our luxuriant neckbeard and that we ask Charlotte to horn us, I'm actually pleased with the tone the quest has taken. The Neckbeard really set the stage of the insanity of this world, simply by showing us how quickly one could succumb. He also makes a great intermittent figure, but I agree that we really need to focus on other characters.

Here's hoping we get to play as Charlotte at some point.

>>28418268
>Here's hoping we get to play as Charlotte at some point.
Only on the on TRUE LOVE route.

It would be fun playing a mod for a lil bit.

>>28418489
Not gonna happen.

"I'm too authoritative for this shit..."

>>28418520
>play as the mod
>/tg/ is full of all this shit that you personally hate
>all the fucking shitposting
>and the fucking monstergirls and ERP threads bah gawd
>a lot of it is technically not against the rules, so you can't use your banhammer
>even stuff that is technically against the rules can get popular with the crowds, so using the banhammer gets you shit

It'd either be the most glorious quest to uphold The Law, Judge Dredd style, possibly as we strive to change it from within, or we go crazy and become Vigilanon, stalking threads to destroy the shit out of all those things we cannot use our banhammer on, all the while trying to avoid higher authorities finding out.

>>28418605
/tg/ Noir

"The law has forgotton these treads, posts no better than cesspools filled to bursting with shitposting, circlejerking, and fetsh shit. I saw a furry yesterday; not a monstergirl, but an honest to Moot furry. Nobody batted an eye. I remember when being a blue board meant something, when we were a board to be respected, safe from the influences of /b/ and /pol/. Those were better days."

So, I figured out how to stat The Neckbeard in 3.5.

http://www.minmaxboards.com/index.php?topic=7112.0

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>>28412508

>Wes only took ya head off 'cause wes thoughts yous was a real puppet. If yous willin' ta be civil and behaves yaself, maybe wes can work together ta figure somethin' out? Wes don't wanna leaves ya at the hands of neckbeard, buts if its comes to thats... well, we wouldn'ts wants ta see such a nice face losts forever.

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>>28419065

"The body of the girl I have possessed has been taken many years ago. If not me, it would be dust."
"But thanks to you, you Norwegian accented troglodyte, it turns to ash this very day."

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>>28419090

>Oh.

>>28417834

Anon keeps calling you over, telling you about some chest that won't open up.
You leave Yorick and Torpedo Asshole alone so they can get better acquainted.

>>28419090
Garish: Produce dustpan

Den if wes can True Ressurrections her, she'll bes fine an yas'll still be in ovah yah head wit us.

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>>28419125

"I tried prying it open, but no luck."

>Maybes I can knocks it opens.

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>>28419137

>Eeyyyyys!

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>>28419150

Well, it still didn't open, and the chest seems to be sealed tight.
What better alternative is to kick it open? Or just kick it?

Rolled 43

>>28419157
KNOCK HARDER

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>>28419090
A lass, poor Yorick...

>>28419150
see picture

>>28419157
Sweet talk the chest into opening itself.

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>>28419157

The chest landed and opened up with faint whining inside of it.

"F-fine! I'll open up, you thugs!"

>>28419157
Form Pompakey

>>28419173
Hug the chest and apologize for being so violent.

>>28419173
You sound familiar. Are you the spirit who was in the armor?

>>28419173
Greet the person in the chest.
>>28419193
We/He wouldn't know that, or can we use Ooc knowledge?

>>28419220
They were there while the armor was running away yelling "Nononononono!"

>>28419173
Anon: Molest the chest.

>>28419245
Slow down, thats a classy chest.

Lets buy her a key and nice safe first.

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>>28419178

You would, but there will be a chance you would end up shooting something at the chest instead.

>>28419188

You pick up the chest and embraced it, apologizing for your violent behavior.

>We weres just tryings to helps you.

"Well it hurt more than it help.."

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>>28419256
>key
L-lewd!

>>28419355
Place Torpedo Asshole and Banshee head inside chest. With its consent, of course.

>>28419355
Ask the chest how can we make things right and apologize.

>>28419389
That would be hilarious.

A thought: Do we want to adopt some sort of flagging for when we're discussing shit as opposed to making actual suggestions, or to denote suggestions that we're not serious about?

>>28419355
Sorrys for da rough treatments. Dis ain't ya normal haunt, is its?

>>28419411
That sounds handy. What did you have in mind?

>>28419411
[troll] [not srs] or any tags like this?

>>28419451
What about just spoilering it?

>>28419510
That works too.

>>28419510

Then spoiler away.

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>>28419398

You ask the chest how you can make things right.

"Well, for one thing, were you the ones who took care of those punks?"

You answer yes.

"Well, how about not kicking me anymore?"

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You also ask for permission to place the heads inside of it.

"No."

>>28419956
Ask the chest to become our new party member.

>>28419956
Try to assess how satisfying it would be to make out with it.

Are there archives of this?

>>28420772
Search "neckbeard quest" on suptg

>>28419956

Ask the chest's gender.

>>28420794
>>28420772
>http://suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/archive.html?tags=Neckbeard%20Quest

>>28420794
>>28420804
Thanks to ya.

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>>28419996

>You should joins our party?

"I.. Guess. I don't really have anything to do."

MIMIC JOINS THE PARTY!

>>28420018

You try assess how making out with it will be satisfying, but you end up thinking on how chests do it instead.
How do chest people do it? Where do chest babies come from? How do they kiss them good night?
You think about it on your way back to the heads, picking them up and setting them into your inventory.

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>>28420796

>Boys or girls?

"I'm a boy."

Well, that answers it. Maybe he has a cute chest girlfriend? Does he kiss her good night?

"Garush, what are you thinking about?"

>Tings.

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It is 3:50 PM, the weather is cooling down. Pretty chilly out.

This is your position on the map right now.

You can stay as this party of odd heroes or go back and see how neckbeard's doing.
Don't forget, you can always try checking the character statuses.

>>28421760
Check status. Go home.

>>28421760
Lets go to the lurking facility, we are late.

>>28421760
I think we should make it our mission to find a back alley cleric. We COULD go to the lurking facility, but why? We're late anyways.

If we could find a back alley cleric, instead of direct payment, maybe we could try doing some quests for him?

But that can come later. We should see how neckbeard is doing. I really want to know how he survived the mods.

>>28421760
Check status. Do we auto-heal between fights? Maybe get cryanon to summon up some healing tears.

Tell him no one has ever loved him and everyone finds his facelessness off-putting, for his own good.

>>28421760
Wait we should go have anon retrieve the heads, they could plot against us if we don't keep an eye out on them.

>>28422072
They're already in our inventory.

What I'm kinda curious about was that whole ash comment made by the Banshee girl. She's funny. It'd suck if she crumbled to dust.

>>28422096
No, they're not. See >>28419125

>>28422522
see
>>28421683
>You think about it on your way back to the heads, picking them up and setting them into your inventory.

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>>28421772

Your current status.

Your party currently has no buffs/debuffs.

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>>28422797

And your other stats.

>>28422797
We gots to restore HP. Is healing tears really a thing? Cryanon, use Healing Tears on Garush if so.

>>28422810
Lets go heal ourselves somewhere, either at home or in an inn.

>>28422810
Let's get Mimic to go gambling for us some time.

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>>28422810

>LUK: 200
Awww yiss.

>>28422797
Once home, consume sustenance. Looks like we need to eat and get some R&R.

Again, I think we need to find someone who can give us upgrades and healings, but that can wait for tomorrow.

Let's check on neckbeard.

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>>28422810

The Anon have real high Intelligence. Maybe he should go for as mage or maybe as card duelist with duel disk.

>>28423087
Card games? On motorcycles?

>>28423116
I'm not sure Anon is ready for motorcycles, but if crying makes him stronger, I think a crash or two may work in our favor.

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>>28423116

Let see here... he have Agility of 31... I'm little unsure if he could pull out those stunts...

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>>28422846

You finally reach your home, a one bedroom apartment. Or post. It's the same thing, mostly.

>>28422820

>Anon, does you have healings tears?

"Yeah, why?"

>Heals please.

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>>28423227

"You have to get me crying first."

>>28423227
...wait a second.. is that revolver hair?

Use the onions, it should work without problem.

>>28423244
Slap him around a little.

>>28423244
...
Threaten him that you will hand him over to the neckbeard.

>>28423244
You're just one anon of many, ultimately nameless and faceless in the grand scheme, and finding someone that will love you is a far flung reality.

>>28423244
Kick him in the jimmy.

>>28423244
First, put the heads with the other heads in the head nook. Them look at Anon like a disappointed father figure until he cracks.

>>28423244
make him kick a cat and then go show /b/ a video of it

>>28423251
I've been wondering that for the past two threads.

>>28423244
These two.
>>28423292
>>28423302

And check the fridge. We should get some food items in our inventory.

>>28423407
>And check the fridge. We should get some food items in our inventory.
Like what? Cold meatbread leftovers?

>>28423399
Yes. He achieved Yankee status. Hence the Gakuen school outfit and wooden sword. His pompadour is a devastating weapon.

>>28423244
have him talk to poultergeist girl. she can get him crying in no time.

plus she's a ghost.

>>28423445
Better than nothing.

>>28423476
Mimic is a male, we should ask his name, and we never figured out if it had loot insid-

We left Torpedo Asshole and Banshee Head in the street. Fuck... Beardstrosity is going to show up using her like a pimp cane wearing TA's head like bling.

And weren't they wearing our school outfit, along with Blinky and Birdy? Won't murder attract the Mods? Why are we somewhere we can be found and not innawoods?

>>28423476
Oh I like that. Probably too late now though.

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>>28423292

"You wouldn't do it."

>>28423302

"Of course I know that, they tell us this when we were kids. It's to avoid an existential crisis or something."

One of those worked. You thinks.

>>28423519
See
>>28422606

>>28423531
Brush him on the arm, he's so wimpy he'll tear up in seconds.

>>28423519
no, see above. before we headed out we added the heads to our inventory. Beardstrosity isn't going to show up with them.

>>28423531
do this, >>28423476

>See if yous can talks some sense inta hers then

>>28423519
We picked them up.>>28422606

>>28423531
Use Miss Banshee.

>>28423531
Reenact the finger breaking scene from Major Payne.

You will feel a little pressure Anon.

>>28423531
Ask him if he could just cut onions up or something

>>28423531

...CLANNAD, or something else of KEY.

>>28423531
Just harm him, he'll heal himself in the process anyway.

>>28423620
You know, I think that has been the most reasonable answer thus far.

>>28423652
Yeah I'd like to try to avoid the whole abusive friend scenario.

>>28423531
Break his arm. Show him we're serious.

>>28423678
Sometimes you have to do stuff you might not want to do. This is for the greater good. That's what being a friend is all about.

>>28423678
I'd really like to play Garush as the straight man. You know, just a good guy.

If we want to be insane, we can always transition to neckbeard.

>>28423531
Maybe we'll heal by sleeping. Anyway, we should put Miss Banshee and Torpedoanon out somewhere that they can be part of the downtime conversation.

Is Torpedoanon even still alive/functional?

>>28423814
Based on the pictures, it seems that way.
He still exhibits reactions, like when we shoved him into banshee girls face.

>>28423531
Give him a quick, unexpected eyepoke or like a slap to the nose or some shit. Also, we need to get Crynon to cry on command. Some people can do that.

>>28423840
Then we should put him out and talk to him.

Bullies take money, Torpedoanon is a bully, therefore Torpedoanon has money (somewhere).

>>28423774
I've though of Garush to be more like the cool guy who actually gets shit done and doesn't need to ask anybody's permission for whatever the fuck he decides to do.

>>28423814
And yeah, we should to integrate them into the group to some degree. Maybe set them somewhere comfortable, like the couch?

>>28423876
I was thinking appropriately-sized fishbowls.

>>28423873
This, but within reason. He's not some anarchist or psychopath, just very confident and capable.

>>28423873
I've always seen him as being rather polite. He doesn't go out of his way to hurt people and isn't a psychopath.

>>28423866
Sounds reasonable. It'd suck if we left it on his body though.

anon: suggest we just rest up for the night and heal up naturally.
anon: Also realize that between the heads, the mimic, and Garush we have enough players
anon: suggest we spend the evening playing D&D

>>28423920
That's the bad thing about taking the first X responses (not that I'm shitting on the QM, this is still the best thing I've ever seen). Things get missed/forgotten/ignored.

Can we turn on autoloot after battles?

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>>28423900
Something like this. We could keep the heads of our enemies as throphies in our cozy little home.

>>28424011
Precisely what I was thinking.

I just realized that Pompadork is now a delinquent headhunter.

>>28423920
>I've always seen him as being rather polite. He doesn't go out of his way to hurt people and isn't a psychopath.

Yeah, but he does have an unhealthy hobby of collecting heads, though.

>>28423994
Sounds like a good idea.

>>28424070
Well, maybe we can curb that.

On the other hand, he IS a Mahou Seinen Orc.

>>28424070
Got me there.
To be fair, the one dude whose head we stole literally had asshole in his name, and we thought the girl was a possessed inanimate object.

>>28424094
With a pompadour, nonetheless.

>>28424107
Magical Boy Orc Greaser.

>>28423814
lets act like he is.

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>>28423572

>See if yous can talks some sense inta hers then.

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>>28424255

"He.. Hello-"

"Hello you moron. You fucking SIMPLETON! I HOPE YOU'RE HAPPY!"

>>28424279
Anon: W-what did I do? God, your breath is rank... I know you're undead, but that's no excuse not to brush...

Garush: Bes nice to da ghost lady. She's not in 'er right headspace taday.

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>>28424279

"YOU SHOULD OF LET THAT MONSTER EAT YOU, COWARD. THAT'S WHAT YOU DESERVE. BUT HEY, IF THAT BEAST IS STILL OUT THERE, MAYBE IT'LL GIVE YOU A SECOND CHANCE TO LET IT DEVOUR YOU! OR MAYBE YOU'RE IT'S BUTT-SLA-"

>>28424314
I love that Yorick.

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>>28423620

Why didn't you think of that.

>>28424333
All of her dialogue makes me grin.

Great work with her OP.

>>28424279
Oddly enough...yes, kind of anyway. I mean it's not every day you get your bully's head served to you on a stick. But then I feel kinda bad your head ended up on a stick.

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>>28424334

>Anon cans you go chops onions?

"Yeah, sure, anything than this."

Anon storms off to your kitchen, and soon after you hear chopping and soft sobbing.

>>28424349
>implying Anon isn't just glad a cute girl is talking to him. Even if it's just her head on a stick.

>>28424360
Anon: Make onion dip of healing with the onions and your tears.

>>28424360
>you hear chopping and soft sobbing.
anon cuts off his finger

>>28424360
Collect the tears to make healing potions.

>>28424360
Poor Anon.

Maybe you can see if there's any news about Neckbeard on whatever form of media news channels, newspapers, police radio, Anon has?

>>28424360
Garush: Sos... ya calms down now, ya? Both of yas.

>>28424379
>implying anon isn't that kinda guy that feels bad about a girl having a rough time, even if its a bitch

Also everyone who's bullied enjoys it when the bully gets his or her shit kicked in

>>28424464
>implying what you said and what I said are mutually exclusive

>>28424360
Anon is pretty smart.

He might know how to make healing potions/onion dip, as others have suggested.

I'd ask him if he knows any magic or a place where he could learn any.
I also had an idea. What if we could get Yorick to be Anon's familiar? She might give him some spine.

Do Anon and Pompadork matriculate at Troll U?

>>28424480
>implying you didn't imply my post would be invalidated by your perception of the character

>>28424592
>implying Anon can't have more than one emotion at one time.
> implying He can't feel multiple things and even have conflicting emotions.
>implying I'm not just digging my hole deeper

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>>28424669
>hole
>deeper

>>28424745
Sadly, knowing /tg/, that's not as deep as the rabbit hole goes.

>>28424759
But that's why we have Garush and Crynon for a slightly more sensible party.

>>28424797
Beardstrosity probably isn't beyond redemption, but we don't know where he is right now.

>>28424921
Aye, he could be saved.
I'm not sure what the antithesis of the classic straight man is (google has failed me), but that's Neckbeard. He's eccentric, a little crazy, but he shouldn't be over the top.

>>28424988
Plot Twist: He's the /b/eardstrosity. He emigrated from /b/ years ago and now makes /tg/ his home... but like Phyrexia, the taint is already inside him.

>>28425033
That... that would explain a lot, actually.

>>28425033
surprisingly poignant thought. But last time we saw the /b/eardstrosity, wasn't he about to experience warhammer Wednesday from a mod first hand?

>>28425033
>Plot Twist
Twist of Plot Twist: He's actually the embodiment of all shitposters on /tg/.

>ERP
He tried to put a unicorn horn up his ass. Pretty ERP.
>Questfags (as in the shitty kind)
Nothing slightly resembling consistency or plot to him
>People who complain about questfags
>etc.

>>28425108
Well, we're able to transition back to him, so there's some implication he's still alive.

Unless we transition back to a smear on the floor, then right back to Garush and Anon.

>>28425033
Does this mean we could reform him into the harmless comic relief embodiment of [s4s]?

>>28425033
Hey, a lot of people emigrated from /b/ years ago to become productive members of /tg/ society... I should know, I am one.

>>28425243
And still the smell of phyrexian oil is on us.

>>28425033
Almost every poster on 4chan started off on /b/. It's the ones that never migrate that you have to worry about

>>28425243
Did I say that was a bad thing? I too was once a /b/tard.

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>>28424380

"Hey, I made some dip with my tears-"
"Couldn't you just put her away, please?!"

>But why?

>>28425467
Naw, she's gonna bes our party membah. Well, kinda. She's in dis predicaments because a us, so we's gots ta helps her out. It's what a man's supposed ta do.

>>28425467
Now lets rest for while to regain HP.

Ask Yorick to get her a new body.

>>28425467
I like her.

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>>28425467

"YEAH THAT'S RIGHT MAKE YOUR MAN'S MEAL YOU LITTLE BITCH"
"That's why."
"WHILE YOU'RE AT IT WHY NOT SUCK HIS D-"

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>>28425511

"MRMMMMRNMRNNMNN.."

>>28425503
Yorick is the best party member.

A shame we weren't able to have her mate with the torpedo asshole.

>>28425511
Seriously, lets get her a new body in exchange for help as a party member.

>>28425526
let's keep yorrick.
She is great.
Be sure to give her chips.

>>28425467
Once we sit down with Anon, we need to talk with him about his powers. He should have some.

I'd really also like to see if we could turn Yorick into his familiar. It could give him a boost and it would be funny to watch. But that's just me. Anybody else have any thoughts on it?

>>28425549
Yorick as Anon's familiiar. That sounds like a great idea for all parties involved.

>>28425549
get yorrick a body.

Or at least, get her a roomba

>>28425576
Oh, god, I can imagine the rant now.

"WHAT, BECAUSE I'M A FUCKING WOMAN I HAVE TO BE INVOLVED WITH CLEANING SOMEHOW YOU FUCKING PATRIARCHY-PROPAGATING MISOGYNIST PIG!?"

>>28425618
I don't want her to be a radical feminist.
It doesn't really fit her personality.

>>28425618
Definatly put her on a roomba.

>>28425648
Well, obviously she's not being undead and not-at-all part of the modern zeitgeist, but she needs things to yell and that seems poignant, considering.

>>28425525
Oh god she is so cute when she is angry. Maybe if we feed her enough tears she will grow a body back.

>>28425651
But would she still be able to follow us around?

I was kinda looking forward to watching her heckle anon every time we get into a battle.

>>28425712
It might be hard hitting stuff with her on our sword, especially if we don't want to hurt her.

>>28425712
Yeah... yeah!

Like, some item you need to use in battle to unlock a hidden power or something.

>>28425740
That's what I was thinking.
See if we can get some sort of agreement with her, and use her to help catalyze Anon's powers. In return, we would make sure to find a body for her to inhabit.

Anon gets some tutelage (of sorts) and she gets a body. We all win.

>>28425795
>Hey, Train anons to be stronger and I wills finds you a new bodies.

>>28425795
We need a failsafe, though. Something that keeps her from going full rogue.

And can we ask the Mimic his name, and if he's got any treasure in him?

>>28425795
>>28425873

100 push-ups, 100 sit-ups and 100 squats along with running 10 km every single day

>>28425873
Exactly.
That's why I was thinking familiar. She'd be with Anon at all times, and wouldn't be a vulnerable head anymore, she'd be attached to Anon. Though I suppose in his current state, that isn't much better. At least he can run though.

>>28425910
failsafes are lame and for people who don't take risks. Besides, we kinda beheaded her and shoved her head on a stake for no reason. If she did go rogue we'd deserve it.

>>28425924
We don't have 3 years for Anon to become OPM though.

>>28425910
At this point, 1000 bokken should be enough.
It 1 shotted her, then we ripped off her head. I don't think she'll forget that too easily. She won't try anything funny, at least not with Garush around.

I still think we really need to find that cleric. He should have seals, upgrades, health potions, a lot of the equipment we've been needing.

>>28425957
>We don't have 3 years for Anon to become OPM though.
We need a time compression chamber.

>>28425957
>Lame
>Don't take risks

You mean, stable and successful people? I'm okay with that.

>>28425942
>>28425924
>>28425511
She'd be the best worst personal trainer too.

WHAT THAT'S ALL THE PUSHUPS YOU CAN DO, I'VE SEEN ANOREXIC GIRLS IN A CANCER WARD DO MORE YOU PUSSY
GIVING UP ALREADY AFTER 5KM? WHAT'S WRONG? NOT ENOUGH COCK TO SUCK AT THE FINISH LINE TO SUFFICIENTLY MOTIVATE YOU?

ect.

>>28426005
Banshee best girl.

Oh crap we are waifuing her slowly.

>>28426023
Assuming she's Tsundere when she's really just a horrible bitch.

Implying she's still not best girl.

>>28426004
actually the most successful people are generally the ones who take wild risks.

People who don't take risks usually end up middle management.

>>28426055
>implying horrible bitch isn't best girl
Best girl.

>>28426055
Well, at least she can give good head.

>>28426023
>>28426055
screaming tsundere max volume banshee head would be the best familiar for Anon should he become a wizard of some type

>>28426069
Maybe you've got a point. Who can say. I don't have anything to risk so I guess I'm the wrong kind of person to sound off on this.

>>28426100
It was a risk beheading banshee girl in the first place so it won't be that much more risky pairing her with anon.

>>28426005
YOU CALL THAT A FIREBALL? I'VE SEEN FARTS MORE FUCKING THREATENING THAN THAT YOU WORTHLESS SUBHUMAN IGNORAMOUS.

Now actually, Anon has a lot of points in intelligence right? Maybe he knows how we could bind Yorick so she could (safely) become his familiar. Assuming we can work out a deal.

>>28426023
>slowly

>>28426131
Well, yeah, but I didn't vote for that.

Although I think we should have gathered the corpse's ashes and gotten the body rezzed. Free additional grateful teammate GET.

>>28425525
Sidenote: OP, why not draw up certain things ahead of time if you haven't already, like a layer for the battle screen that you can just lay over the art, and generic "standing" poses for the party members? And the victory screen.

If you've already done this, just ignore my suggestion plz.

>>28426220
I'm not sure she would have been so grateful.

We caused the problem in the first place. If we fixed it, at best she'd be neutral towards us.

>>28426247
Not really. I mean, she may have been possessed for the whole time she was hanging out with Flappy and Blinky (what happened to them, anyway), but I'm talking about resurrecting the body the Banshee was inhabiting. Alive, well, and free of lingering spiritual taint? I'd be grateful.

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I come back and see you guys turn Yorrick into your waifu. Perfect.

>>28425526
>>28425536

Hmm, yes, let us keep the Yorricks. But are we sure Anon would agree with us trying to bind her with him? She could still be violent toward him.
You also do not know where you could find a body for her.
Yorrick seems to not be a very people person, too.


Aside from thinking about our favorite girl, your party has recovered health from eating tasty tearful onion dip.

>>28426286
Find a holdout of /m/ somewhere (probably playing BattleTech) and see if we can find her a body.

We still need to grind some more levels, too.

>>28426286
Why don't we just ask?

"Listens, toots, we ain'ts gonna gets much done with yas all mad and shrieky an' such. Ya want a body, we need ta get Anon ta tha point a survivability, so hows abouts we makes a deal: You helps him gets tough, an' I'll help yas gets a body or an exorcism or whatevers the hells is the reason ya's here. Deal?"

>>28426311
we can grind levels while looking for a body

It sucks to grind levels without an objective. Gets boring.

>>28426280
What I gathered was that the body was old, possessed long ago. It would have disintegrated into dust long ago were Yorrick not possessing it.

>>28426286
If we can find something to bind her and prevent her from (directly) lashing out at anon, that should be fine. I suspect a Cleric would have the necessary seals, but it's also possible Anon might know. Could we ask him about his knowledge of the magical arts?

>>28426286
You saids you tooks this girl's body. Cans you take another one, or are you stucks?

>>28426286
Little banshee looks so adorable.

What happen to the chips when she eats?

Get her a body from a camwhore in /soc/.

>>28426321
seconding this.

Failing that strap her to a roomba

>>28426337
Or we could have Cryanon wear her in one of those baby pouch things.

>>28426286
I feel like we're playing into a "JUST AS PLANNED" moment here

>>28426497
yeah strap her to his stomach so cryanon can cosplay as beardstrocity

>>28426630
Nah man, everything will be totally fine unless it isn't, in which case it won't be totally fine.

Also, I had an epiphany. This whole familiar business was reminding me of something, but I couldn't quite place it. Just remembered: Ragnarok and Krona.

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>>28426328

Maybe Anon is a cleric, but first:

>>28426321
>>28426337

>Listens, toots, we ain'ts gonna gets much done with yas all mad and shrieky an' such. Ya want a body, we need ta get Anon ta tha point a survivability, so hows abouts we makes a deal: You helps him gets tough, an' I'll help yas gets a body or an exorcism or whatevers the hells is the reason ya's here. Deal?

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>>28426760

PTOO!

"Let me tell you something here, asshole."

>>28426774
thisgunnabegood

>>28426760
>>28426774
>Cryanon chewing in the background

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>>28426774

"The girl of this body has long since passed on. I only took it when it was /fresh/. An exorcism will only lead to a hollowed skull for you. I get it, you want to keep me around. So be careful on what you wish for, you might get it."
"And if you really think I'll be helping waterfalls for eyes over there, you're-"

She pauses, a wicked grin appears on her face. Maybe it's unintentional?

"- riiiiiight~! Suuuure, I'll help.. Just bind me with him and I'll help out alriiiiight..."

>>28426845
>Just bind me with him and I'll help out alriiiiight..
Lewd

>>28426845
"Ya. Dat sounds like nuttins could evahs go wrong. How about ya tell me why ya changed ya mind first. I mean, ya, we coulds use somebody who knows Flappy an' Blinky, but dat don' mean we trusts yas yet."

>>28426845
What could possibly go wrong!
Probably a few things, really.

But hey, if we can do this right, it'll be fun.

>>28426845
You plannings somethings. Spill the beans, or I'll spills your brains.

>>28426845
Nope. We've played Call of Cthulhu and Dark Heresy. This pact bodes ill for us.


Once this scene wraps up, what's the old Beardstrosity up to? Seems like a good place for a MEANWHILE...

>>28426760
>>28426774
mimics just chilling in the background. after we finish discussing things with yorrick we should find out what's on his mind.

>>28426845
I know this is a trap but I still want to agree. seems like a good deal.

Stories where the protagonist is too genre savvy are boring anyways. Gotta make a few pitfalls to keep things interesting.

>>28426905
That's not a question of genre savvy, it's a question of having ever interacted with a human at all.

We noticed the abrupt change in behavior and wondered if it was unintentional. That means that Garush noticed it.

>>28426845
Talk with anon. What does he know about safe bindings, chaining spirits, and harnessing their energy?

>>28426845
>>28426905
>>28426937
Find out why she changed her mind then leave the decision up to anon. It's him she's gotta be bound with anyways, should be his choice in da matta.

>>28426845
sounds legit, I say go for it.

>>28426845
>"- riiiiiight~! Suuuure, I'll help.. Just bind me with him and I'll help out alriiiiight..."

Yas a terrible actress. No.

>>28427055
This.
We need to work out a fair deal.

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>>28426894

>You plannings somethings. Spill the beans, or I'll spills your brains.

"Oh, I'm planning something alright. And it'll be great!"
"... For him, of course."

>>28427218
I trust her, let do it!

>>28427218
That sounds... pretty erotic.
Perhaps we should let her do it, for Anon's sake.

>>28427218
sounds legit

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>>28427218

"I see it now, me mentoring Anonymous in the arts of magic! I can teach him on how to harness those magical tear ducts of his, and teach him on how to cry on command, and so much, MUCH more~!"

>>28427218
seems legit.

>>28427218
It's ultimately Anon's decision to let the creepy ghost girl "bond" with him.

>>28427218
Talk with Anon.
We need to get his input, and he's got an int score of 125. He could probably shed some light on this.
Maybe he has some spell tomes we could defer to back at his place?

>>28427250
I don't even know what bonding entails, but there's no way this could possibly go wrong.

>>28427250
Well ya can't save all of them. We got a sledgehammer handy? Or would a bokken suffice?

>>28427250
ghost blowjob whoo woo

>>28427250
"Ya mess wit da ork, ya gets da tusks. Anons, what does ya tink?"

>>28427250
Binding of Isaac mode

>>28427250
...
She kinky.

Anyway, let's see what anon has to say about all this,

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>>28427256
>>28427310

>Anon? What does you thi-

"NO."

>Buts

"NO!"

>>28427387
No balls.

>>28427387
Well, you heards him hon. Sorries. Let's find a place ta puts ya on the wall den.

>>28427387
ok, your choice
guess we're doing something elses

>>28427387
he'll come around eventually

>>28427387
Force him to do it anyway. Hasn't that kinda been what we've been doing to the poor shmuck for the entire thread anyway?

>>28427444
poor guy must yield to the power of the trips.

>>28427387
Come on!
Come ooooon!

Okay fine we'll get the roomba

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>>28427424

Well, you gotta respect his boundries.

>>28427444

Or not. The trips are never wrong.
How will you pull this off?

>>28427444
As much as I'd love to see Yorick force Anon to grow some spine, losing Anon and whatever untapped magical energy he has to a malevolent spirit could be bad.

We need to do it in a way that is controlled, and we can't have Anon fighting it.

An alternative would be to put her inside a pendant, something easy to carry around.

>>28427496
Give him a speech about sucking it up and biting the bullet so he stops being a weak shit.

>>28427496
put yorrick on anon's head

>>28427496
Convince anon that he can control her.
Convince her that it is not in her best interest to consume Anon.
I really would like some sort of artificial means to control her. We'd need a tongue of gold to make such measures unnecessary.

>>28427496
"Ya gots ta, anon! Don' believe in yasef... believe in me who believes in ya! Ya can reach out an touch the stahs and stand tall and shake the heavens if ya just give it a lil' go!"

>>28427496
Tell him that he can suck neckbeard-san's~ dick if he gets strong enough.

>>28427496
>It'd be best if you had more allies, Anon. What if da neckbeard thing comes back for ya? Ya can't rely on me forever.

>>28427529
this
>>28427529
then this

>>28427532
I've got something!

Anon is smart, right? He could probably be a mage, a cleric, something like that. He could construct a better body for her. But to do that, he needs to have the magical power, which he has failed to fully tap into. She can help him unleash that power, while letting him borrow her own, and in return she gets a better body than Anon's, or even her original.

I hope you guys remember that anon secretly loves neckbeard.

>>28427577
I've only seen tsun. Remind me of the dere?

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>>28427532

First, to convince Anon.

>Anon, there is times you needs to grows a spines, and this is the times!

"So, you're saying I don't have a spine?"

>Well it's beens obvious!