[Cutscene, please wait.]"NONONONONONONONONONONONO-"
>>28385119You would be surprised by the fact your tongue went that long just to catch a suit of ghost infested armor, but you have a sharp horn stimulating your prostate at the moment.Ah, here she is! Let's hope she still has that Shrine Maiden with her!
>>28385172Put on the armor once we are done.
>>28385172Just wait a moment, my dear. Then I will once again penetrate you to your core.
>>28385193But then we'd hide our splendorous neckbeard.Also, the armor dropped the shrine maiden. Why don't we see where she went?
>>28385374We can let our glorious neckbeard flow under the helm.
>>28385172Ask the ghost knight about the shrine maiden andwhy they attacking us.
>>28385513Ghost Knight is empty. No word on where ghost went.Shrine maiden is still here though. And presumably ogre boy, since we're still getting that sweet, sweet horning we've been needing.
>>28385172Wait, it's no longer animated?
>>28385547Dang, we had to ask the ogre instead.>>28385565It is still animated. The neckbeard is still riding on...
was the previous thread archived?
>>28385605...the armor, dumkopf.
>>28385374You set the armor aside. Yeah, it'd hide your neckbeard if you wear it, but on the other hand, it can increase you defense and it's probably big enough to carry another person in it! But then again, you probably don't fi-FOCUS!You look around for any signs of the Shrine Maiden, but she's no where to be found. You do have onlookers now."W-why are you doing this?"
>>28385737>"W-why are you doing this?"Felt like it
>>28385737I just entered here, and I'm a little confused. Can I perhaps get a recap?
>>28385737POMPADOURGET HIM AND ANON WITH YOUR TONGUE
>>28385737>"W-why are you doing this?"Smile and say: "Why do you think so Champ?"
>>28385737"Because the rules of reality don't apply to me!"Surf off on a rainbow with the ogre clenched between your chitinous butt cheeks.
>>28385771And the elven waitress too.Oh yeah. She jelly.
>>28385737Why AREN'T you doing this? You don't have a horn fetish? Freak.
>>28385737Can't we make it so the armor shows off the neckbeard? Maybe have it pop over the armor's collar like a badass armormane? Find someone who can make it so?
>>28385768Of course, mein freund. Welcome to the best quest currently running on /tg/.First thread: http://suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/archive/28334133/#p28354262Second thread: http://suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/archive/28367525It's not really heavy, so it shouldn't take more than 10 or so minutes to be caught up.
>>28385737We could rip a big fart while riding his horn haha.Just continue while not giving a fuck.
>>28385737"Because you are the first of my waifus!"
>>28385737...Hm. I don't remember.
>>28385762>Felt like it.The ogre softly groans, shifting and struggling around in his wet bindings."This is making me uncomfortable, come on.."
>>28386113That will teach you from attacking me Oni-san
>>28386113Sounds like he likes it to me. Keep going and call over our partners.
>>28386113Lick him one more time and carry our armor-waifu prize to pompadour-kun.
>>28386113Mighty Clench. K.O.
>>28386113yeah, suddenly I feel uncomfortable tooit's your face i'm seeing from my buttcheeksthat look of weary resignationI can't get off if you're not crying and begging me to stopbye
>>28386113Tell me what I want to know.Who sent you after me.Why.Where did your friends go.Does the shrine maiden know horn magic.Do you really think I'm going to get off your horn that easily.
>>28386113He must be enjoying it as he keeps watching our buttock going up and down.
>>28386156>That will teach you from attacking me Oni-san~"Ugh.."You continue on riding your.. Prize. The stimulation is surprisingly great for a sharp horn. You unconsciously move your hips faster, and bobbed your carapace ass cheeks even closer to the Ogre's face.>>28386172Oh, you are so doing that after this. After you're done horning.>>28386188You clench your anus tightly around the horn, the Ogre growls.>Alright, tell me what I want to know."What?">Who sent you after me?"N-no one? We're just a group of monster hunters.">Why?"F-for loot and bounty-!">Where did your friends go?"All I saw then and now is your ass bobbing up and down?">Does the shrine maiden know horn magic?"N-no!">Oh."J-just get off!">Do you really think I'm going to get off your horn that easy?
>>28386536Tell me where your headquarters are Oni-san~~
>>28386536>Do you really think I'm going to get off your horn that easy?but what about getting off on his horn?
>>28386536You don't have a safe house? You're adventurers, and you don't have a safe house, no base of operations to retreat to when it hits the fan?What the hell dude.
>>28386536Mighty Clench! We will be the Harry Potter wand.
>>28386536Hey wait, is that a centaur girl back there?
>>28386602>Tell me where your headquarters are Oni-san~~"W-we don't have one! GET OFF!">You don't have a safe house? You're adventurers, and you don't have a safe house, no base of operations to retreat to when it hits the fan?>What the hell dude.As you continue to ride, it comes to a halt with you landing your tush on his face, sitting, burying his horn deep inside your anus.
>>28387028Look at the onlookers and smile, telling them: "The first within reach is next."
>>28387028TURN AROUNDHAMMER INCOMING
>>28387080Yeah.Yeaaaaah.I think we found armor girl.Guess she can jump from one suit to another!I hope this one has a horn.
>>28387028MEANWHILE, ANON AND THE POMPADOURK...
>>28387182Lets call him the Pompadork.Because he is a dork with a pompadour and orkish parents.
>>28387028...is that dude fucking a centaur behind us while his friend watches?
>>28387200No.He is Garush.He is a manly orc, with a manly pompadour.
>>28387219He is now.
>>28387028I like how that one guy in the back is staring at the centaurs ass with serious concentration
>>28387028Incoming boss battle
>>28387255Its going to get horny in here.
>>28387028>"W-we don't have one! GET OFF!"I've been getting off this whole time.
>>28386630we let it accidentally burned it down with meat bread in the oven, in the first thread.
>>28387901Oh no, I was talking about the adventurers who just attacked us.What kind of adventuring party doesn't have a secret base somewhere?
Man, I really hope we get to swag some elf-fus later with our glorious neckmane. Discovering the wonders of prostate simulation is a blast and all, but we'll have all the girls touching our carefully-groomed beard later. We'd be a celebrity amongst the monster community in no time.Even if we must force them in to take a big whisk of our fabulous scent and aroma Or petting it.
>>28387946They should at least have a favorite tavern.
>>28388028Yeah. I just know that the elf girl is waiting for the warm embrace of the neck fluff. I'm sure she will get it, one day.>>28389635I should hope so.I mean, having an adventuring party without a favorite tavern is like walking around without pants. Liberating and mildly arousing.Well... maybe they aren't all that similar, now that I think about it.
>>28387080Huh?>>28387128Must be right, let's look on over-
>>28390593- Oh? Why is she holding a hammer..?
>>28387182>MEANWHILE, ANON AND THE POMPADORK...Step right up, STEP RIGHT UPPick your character!
>>28390668The pompadork Garuck.
>>28390668Garush: Have no desire to observe this further. Take Anon and leave the alien monster to its fate."Da tings I seen taday cants evah be unseens."
>>28390690Garush confirmed for Scandinavian guitarist.>>28390668Anon still needs to find somewhere to level up. Being /tg/, we need to find some small contingent of 4e players to level up on.
>>28390668Let's go with anon, he seems to be more "intimate" with horn girl.
>>28390745Oh, motherf*guitar scratch* I RE-READ IT IN HIS VOICE!
>>28390745We'll level up all over their faces, our XP will get everywhere.
>>28390668Nope, nope, nope. I was wrong. Not armor waifu, that is pissed off mod with a banhammer.Oh shit.>>28390668Why not both?
>>28390969Only Annihilator 2? Really?
>>28391023What do you mean "Only?"
>>28390690You and Anon turn around and leave down the alleyway you two came in from.>Da tings I seen taday cants evah be unseens."Tell me about it."
>>28391864It is 1:30 PM, 24°C with light wind. The smell of now rotting carcasses blow through the air.Here is your location.
>>28391902Hunt for 4e players with our Scandanavian guitar player Garush.
>>28391902We're already late, and anon needs a hospital. Eyes. Something.Let's see if we can get him some healing or something.
>>28391902Assist the NPC being ganged up upon in the ewst end of the street while wearing JUSTICE MASKS!
>>28391902We're late for school, but we can just miss it. Thug lyfe.Might want to head home for medical aid. If there are even hospitals on 4chan, not sure I want to meet the people that run them.We could always ask a seedy back alley cleric for healings.
>>28392014That's probably monster-anon and the Mods.
>>28392052Maybe we could jump over to /v/ or /vg/. They have seedy back-alley clerics. Or that burger joint from River City Ransom.
>>28392094Well, there's actually home right there. We could head there for medical supplies, and not risk an accidental or purposeful curse.Just pray to all the deity's we can think of that Neckbeard doesn't somehow sniff us out and come crashing through the wall like a deranged Kool-Aid man, pissed of mod(s) in tow.
>>28392158That's precisely why I suggested going to /v/ or /vg/. We need to lose the psychopath. I mean, who knows, he might find us anyway, but we should try it. Maybe hook up with that elf waitress from the diner. It looked like the Xenomorph with the mane was eyeballing her to- he doesn't have eyes, but you know what I mean.
>>28392186Now that I think about it, assuming the mods don't kill him, he's going to find us. He probably has a good, sense of smell. Taste, at least.Our best bet would to power level and hide. Garush needs to eat more pompadours, and Anon needs to stop being such a bitch.
Hopefully his new friend with a hammer will keep him busy. Let's go justice it up.
>>28392279Forgot to add: I don't know where to hide, so it might just be best to try and find some baddies and some healing items.We do still have torpedo asshole's head, but I'm afraid neckbeard would just eat it if we threw it at him.
>>28392279Hmm... you may have a point, but we need to get Anon some eyes first. Any street docs around? Maybe get some back-alley augments?
>>28392334I like the way you think, Anon.We need to get Anon some goddamn laser eyes.
>>28392375Okay, so current priorities.1: Augmented eyes that can resist acid. Maybe some kind of skin reinforcement or mask for the face. The acid trails can't have made him any prettier.2: Acquire weapons. Garush's pompadour powers are great and all, but anon needs to be a little more powerful. Maybe something ranged.3: Grind levels like a motherfucker in case "it" comes back.
>>28392423If we're just sorta throwing stuff on there, I thin anon needs to grow a luxurious neck beard.Then we get the women.
>>28392514No, you fool! First immortality. THEN, the bitches.
>>28392622What if you achieve immortality through bitches?
>>28392652I'm not following.
Anon sure does need a lot of things, but aren't eye augmentations and back alley clerics expensive?Besides, it looked like he kind of healed within an hour, just not completely. You thinks.>>28391914But first, let's meet an actual npc.Oh, it's just a slime mom and an old lady harpy.>>28392014You're thinking about it, those silhouettes look awfully familiar..
>>28392652The trifecta of worldly pleasures (wealth, power, women) can be obtained starting with any of the three.Start with women? Become a pimp, get money, buy power.Start with Power? Get money, buy women who haven't flocked to you already.Start with money? Buy power, buy women who haven't flocked to you already.So long as we get enough bitches, we can get the money and power to achieve immortality.
>>28392700Aw, HELLS naws.Garush gonna fuck 'em UP!
>>28392700CAPTURE CHARLOTTE. REVENGE FOR SELLING US TO THE NECKBEARDSTROSITY.
>>28392700Oh shit! It's Charlotte!Maybe... maybe we should go back and get neckbeard. Tell him where Charlotte is. He would stop at nothing with her right in front of him.It'd create the distraction we need to escape.But we can do that after we've talked with the NPC's.
>>28392708Not seeing immortality there.I mean, depends on how we pursue immortality, but it seems like securing the time necessary to acquire said pleasures should come first.
>>28392700Capture Charlotte, offer her as tribute to the neckbeard king.
>>28392700Garush...Use the Torpedo.
>>28392700OP, y'here? Anyway, initiate JUSTICE MASK.
>>28391864Looks like our minion has escaped our grasp.Told you guys we should have gotten his ID so we would know where he lives, and then we would have known where charlotte lives as well.
>>28393713We'll sniff him out.Eventually.We've tasted his flesh. We know him. We can track him juuuuuust fine. Probably.
>>28393727Probably. I'm just saying. No one knows proper minion care and management anymore. Grooming henchmen is becoming a lost art.God forbid we run into any hostile errant SRPG players from /vg/, They at least know how to manage a minion army.
>>28393749To be fair, he was only with us for a short while. In that time, we've been preoccupied with horning, elf girls, controlling our insatiable hunger, and trying to manage the cacophony of voices which have appeared in our head this morning.We kinda picked him up off the street after he was mugged, too.
"Come on, open yourself up already!"
>>28393816>STOPS RIGHTS THERES!
>>28393792True but unless we want to fight every weak monster hunter that crosses our path for a few cents in bounty we should consider raising an army.Solo monsters usually get taken out pretty quick unless they are broken strong tier. >>28393833DYNAMIC ENTRY! A true hero has taken the stage
>>28393833[YOU HAVE INSTIGATED THE BATTLE]
>>28393841Why not let neckbeardmorph get defeated? Right now it's a degenerate, creepy monster. I find Anon and Pompadork more compelling characters.
>>28393844Alpha strike with a Pompadour blast from Garush.
>>28393844"Ow, what the hell!">Bullies no mores!"my heeeeaaad...""How are you even alive, Anon?""More importantly, what the fuck is with those masks? Are you playing /co/ you weirdoes?">We ams the maskeds heroes!ANONYMOUS GIRL seems to be DISORIENTED!
>>28393870oopsieAnyway, leave suggestions, I am in need of sleep.
>>28393858yeah, I tend to agree. I thought it might be an interesting idea to play a rising monster lord character but he's too far gone.It was the obsession with horn anal that really turned me off the character though. That was just dumb.
>>28393883Garush, pompadour strike the cyclopian girl in the eye!
>>28393883Poke the cyclop dude in the eye
>>28393893I don't think that's a girl but I second the motion
>>28393883>>28393893THIS!Thanks for keeping this going, OP. Loving the quest.
>>28393844Praise be to the OP!And guys, this is 2 on 4.They all have 100 health, and we're still damaged. Admittedly we do have Torpedo Asshole's head though.We could just scream for Neckbeard. If he knew Charlotte was nearby, he'd happily reinforce us. But maybe we'll want to save that in case things get desperate.
>>28393922I kinda want to keep torpedo asshole's head though to make witty comments on our journey.
>>28393922Wait, I stand thoroughly corrected. It was only 2.That's what happens when you take too long to reply.
>>28393922You forget, Garush has consumed the essence of another pompadour. He also talks like a Scandanavian guitarist, so he is surely a Paladin of the gods of metal, whether he knows it or not.
>>28393892I will admit, I do wish he dropped the horn obsession for the elf girl instead. That could have been fun. I don't think we should completely throw him away though. I think he could help punctuate the story with nice bouts of insanity.>>28393941Fair point. It is a last resort sort of deal anyway.
>>28393974Alright alright just a little bit of answering before I sleep, I'm too thirsty to go right now.Neckbeard's obsession came from you, the poster. If your influence is under an even number post, you could have the chance to steer him away.This effects any other playable character.
>>28393974Yeah, the horn thing feels like a few people took a gag bit a little too far. He could probably be saved but it'd probably take an effort from us readers to save him.>>28393955Anon is probably a sorcerer, he seems to have the frail constitution of one and he did cry tears of pure acid. he just needs to harness this latent ability
>>28394008That's what I assumed. We kinda fucked him up.Thanks for the quest, OP. This thing is just chock full of neat ideas and concepts.
>>28394008You realize your system rewards spamming lolrandum bullshit over sensible suggestions, right? And that it makes it practically meaningless to suggest consistent courses of action because any consensus can be ruined at any time by some asshole (literally, ITT) deciding to be lolrandum and happening to get an even post number first?
>>28394008Thanks OP. It's obvious that you're putting effort into the quest. You have done very well.>>28394011I'd be happy to bring him back. I mean, he was already a little creepy to start with (I mean, his first encounter with somebody else made them run screaming from an elevator), but I don't think it isn't something we can keep from going out of control, so long as we make the effort.
>>28394073Does it really matter? This quest was never meant to take it self seriously.
>>28394073He goes by first two. And this isn't a srs-bsns quest.
>>>/co/56210681/tg/ related comics
>>28394098I think it was meant for this thread >>28390006
>>28394051No problem! You guys give out pretty neat ideas for this game. The only con to this thing is that these threads only last for one day. Oh well.>>28394073I don't know what to do about it, but it's the most simple I can go with.>>28394088As this Anon said, I go by first two evens. Maybe three or more, or less. If you can beat whoever suggests lolrandum, be my guest. It's purely chance.
>>28394073There are benefits. I'm not sure we'd have pompadour magic, and we definitely wouldn't have claimed Torpedo Asshole's head, if we used a different system.I'm not saying I like the downsides, but it has helped insert some neat ideas. I'd just want to make sure that novel ideas don't get beaten down.
>>28394073This quest doesn't take itself seriously and thrives from its spontaneous nature.but by the same coin I really wish we had some way to say "are you sure" to some actions to prevent some dedicated anon from piss wizarding it up and injecting his own personal fetish or humor into it.
>>28394136>but by the same coin I really wish we had some way to say "are you sure" to some actions to prevent some dedicated anon from piss wizarding it up and injecting his own personal fetish or humor into it.I could try this out. Consensus?
>>28394153I say yeah, try it out, see if its better. If it sucks we can go back to the old ways.
>>28394153We can decide this in the same way we've decided any other option; if this gets evens, sure. if not, no!
>>28394153I'd be for it.If you judge something to be a bit extreme, then you could make a post pointing it out and request a consensus.
>>28394153Highlight the posts you'd be using, throw it by the group, wait a few minutes, and go by general consensus. These threads have had no shortage of posts.
>>28394119You could do like most QMs do and go by the suggestion with the most posts supporting it. But that would stifle some of the originality and funny stuff as >>28394125 and >>28394136 point out, so I don't really know. It's a shame that the really extreme suggestions like horn anal got so much attention though, it's like once a quest gets into this grimderp rapetrain mode it's very hard to get it out of it because people keep throwing in more and more fetish shit because "well we've already reached this point so might as well fuck everything".
>>28394185If we go to a more democratic system, ultimately I suppose what happens to the minorities is up to the QM.You've happily incorporated some of the more creative ideas relatively seamlessly. The taking of TA's head, the Pompadour magic that was just kinda pulled out of nowhere. We've been playing idea tennis with you, bouncing suggestions that not only add to our options but add to the world.If we move to a more democratic system, then determining what gets incorporated from outside the group consensus will probably fall to you. I trust your judgment at the moment, so I wouldn't mind seeing how it plays out.
>>28394185I used to do that for my game threads on /v/ a year back, and was alot more crazier than our horn fetish here.But yeah, if you feel the story isn't going the way you seem unfit, it's best to keep suggesting to turn it to a different path.I need sleep now, good night.
>>28394258Sleep well man.>>28394185I'm not sure the horning thing was this malevolent grimdark rapey fetish insertion, so much as it was just a gag that people became too fixated on. It was funny as a side thing, and it was even kinda funny as a focus, but we need to pull back from it now.
>>28394253Yeah I'd be more than happy if the QM just incorporates any interesting ideas he's given like any DM would when the player gives him ideas. you could have the winning suggestion and a couple that happen anyways because they just make sense or fit or whatever.
bumping for QM
>>28393883Garush, strike a "Manly Pose" to boost your attack and pompadour stats!Anon, use "Clever Ruse" by shouting "Look, a distraction!"
Rolled 77(Back, just want to let you know I'm adding something new to the system, but it's player run. If you really want a certain suggestion happen, vote on it. I will not be highlighting it. I will, however, question "Are you sure?" on it. I am the system, and you are the players, so make your moves wisely!)>>28393916You lodge your mighty POMPADOUR into cyclops boys' eyes!Rolling for chance of blind and damage! Higher the damage, the more likely it will happen.
>>28390646Fuck... the Mods.FLEE! FLEE AND CHANGE IP ADDRESSES AS SOON AS POSSIBLE!
Rolled 66, 40 = 106>>28399143Cyclops boy attempts to land a kick on Garush, but ended up landing on Anon instead!Harpy girl claws at Garush!Anonymous Girl just lies there.
>>28399182Swear, last time I'm "rolling" for this.>>28399165
>>28399182Anon: Draw attacks! "So... you have a bush like normal girls, or do you have a nest?"
>>28399182Anon needs to channel some wizard powers.Garush needs to get in touch with his spirit animal/greaser for more power.
Hey guys, anyone know where Charlotte is? If she sneaks up on us, it could be a horn in our sides.
>>28399234"Spirit greaser." I love it."I ams da Fonz reincarnates!"
>>28399244Naw, this is an old-school RPG style battle. Once it's started, she won't appear from the other side in a pincer attack, and if she does her ATB bar will be empty, so no sneak attacks.
>>28399284That is, unless it's a scripted battle. In that case, she might cast some kind of binding spell, or high-damage something or other, then taunt us from offscreen before joining the fight. Of course, that will probably only be after the other two are K.O.
>>28399284>>28399316I dunno guys, if the world of Chans is anything like our battle themes, we might get punched in the face any second.
>>28399359"Not the face! It's how I make my money!"-Harpy Girl
>>28398754Garush strikes a MANLY POSE. He becomes confident, which boosts his attack and immunizes himself from certain ailments!Anon shouts, "Look, a distraction!"It did not work.Anon is on VERGE OF TEARS!
Rolled 68>>28399595Cyclops boy attempts to headbutt Anon! He misses both of you!Cyclops will recover from blindness in the next turn.Harpy Girl claws at Garush!A faint death rattle is emitting from Anonymous Girl's throat..Rolling for damage.
>>28399620Could we use the CONFIDENT status to morph Garush into MEGARUSH THE BREAKER?
>>28399654Naw, he wouldn't be something berserk like that. Garush the Yankee. He's dressed like a Japanese schoolboy, and he has a pompadour. A Japanese juvenile delinquent is the obvious progression
Anon is crying.>>28399654>>28399714Garush looks like he didn't unlock the secret skill!Unlock now?
>>28399714That would be fitting.But I want a rocket launcher pompadour with a bayonet.>>28399726Unlock now!
>>28399741Come on, you're telling me a wooden sword and a pompadour that strikes awe into our followers and fear into our enemies wouldn't be a good thing?
>>28399767I am only saying that I want a pompadour that also act as a missile launching platform.That doesn't prevent Garrush from carrying a wooden sword.
>>28399826We have Torpedoanon, and our pompadour powers probably give it limited mutability. Ergo, we can just shape our pompadour into a missile-launching atl-atl at will.
>"Yous mess withs da bulls-"
>>28400176>"YOU GETS DA HORNS!"You are now a special kind of Mahou Shounen called a YANKEE. Your pompadour is a weapon. You can summon wooden swords.You'll impress fucking everyone.
>>28400197"What the fuck just happened?">You're fuckeds![HEALTH BONUS!][You regain 50 HP]
>>28400216Can we unlock Anon crying skill now?It will probably turn him into a well dressed acid elemental.Otherwise, knock out the cyclop with extreme prejudice.
>>28400216Oh fuck yes."あなたは私が誰だか性交だと思いますか?""Artillery Barrage"
Now, while he's weak! Finish off the cyclops!
Rolled 36, 61, 9 = 106>>28400242>あなたは私が誰だか性交だと思いますか?!You launch pompadour missiles onto all three foes! It has consumed 50 MP.
Rolled 54>>28400521Cyclops boy has fallen!Harpy girl throws sharp feathers at Garush!Anonymous Girl continues to death rattle.
Excellent. The cyclops is down and pompadork already has the harpy under control. This leaves Anon free to begin molesting the unconscious girl. Revenge is going to be sweet.
>>28400560What the hell is wrong with Anonymous Girl?
>>28400560Seduce harpy girl using our bombadour!!
>>28400612She took a flying kick to the face. We might have over did it a bit.
Rolled 6>>28400521>あなたは私が誰だか性交だと思いますか?!Translation, via Google: Do you think I'm who I fuck?!Oh my fucking god, I'm dying...
>>28400560Anon: Use "White Knight" to stabilize anonymous girl and shield her from damage.Garush: Use "You're already dead." Save up power for a turn before unleashing a devastating attack on Harpy.
>>28400197Fuck yes, we get BOTH?I love you OP.
>>28401147Well, yeah? Yankee are basically to the Japanese what street racers are to us. Of course there'd be some kind of gun-based ability.
>>28401163I guess. I'm just used to choices like that being one or the other. But it's always nice when you can double the awesome.
>>28400560The Crying Anon shall use Manly Tears!!!
>>28400608Anon goes over to molest the girl. The death rattling is making him feel uneasy.>>28400632Harpy girl is DISTRACTED! Anonymous girl is still down.Foes lose 1 turn.
>>28401510Use UNEASY status to unlock Anon new skill: pastamancy
>>28401510Stabilize the anonymous girl, but don't let her wake up.We're not going to molest her. We're not like... HIM...
>>28401510Yeaaahhhh.Naaaaaahhhh.No molesting. Though we can see what this death rattling is all about. If she's actually fine, we can just kick her or something.
Pompadork: Finish the harpyAnon: You must take responsibility by molesting her
>>28401510Garush. Pomp whip the harpy into a member of your posse
>>28401510Pompadork, continue seducing harpy girlAnon, check whats wrong with anon girl and administer CPR
>>28401565This. Fuck.We are not the Neckbeardstrosity.
>>28401614Anon checks to see what's wrong with her.The rattling sounds like a grudge ghost call. Kind of.
Oh no, it's an /x/
>everyone wants to help the enemyI hope this'll bite us in the ass. Maybe even litterally.And finish off that harpy with a surprise pompadour hammer.
Rolled 58>>28401859"Garush? GARUSH!">What?"Something isn't right with this girl."
>>28401880Ffffffffffffffuck.Garush, use Pompadour Net Cannon.Anon, ready Holy Water Tears.
>>28401880Quick anon, punch her before she turn into some kind of monsters from SCP
>>28401880Well, no good deed goes unpunished.Head between legs. Kissings ass goodbye.
>>28401880Anon, flee.Garush, uh, continue whatever it is you're doing.
>>28401922Before Anon can land his fist on her, the girl rises up and shrieks.Anonymous fell unconscious!
>>28402142You are now fighting a Banshee Puppet.
Rolled 2>>28402161Garush: Consume Sandwich.
>>28402161Punch in face repeatedly
>>28402161We're going to die, aren't we.Garush: Pompadour Rocket Jump: Evade damage for one turn, deal increased damage next.
>>28402161Unleash upon her the divine fist of the north stat.北斗八悶九断 Eight Agonies Nine Breaks
>>28402161Pompadour Mega Cannon
>>28402161Grab a chainsaw from our pompadour and cut its fucking head off
>>28402287Garush solves his problems with a chainsaw, and he never has the same problem twice.
>>28402190You currently do not have that skill.You only have 4 HP left.Your friend is unconscious.What do you do?
>>28402432Grab anon and run. Run away. Like a manly man.
>>28402432Grab as many wooden swords as possible and throw them at the Banshee.Unlimited bokken work.That failing, artillery barrage.
>>28402432>>28402464Use the Pompadortillery to jetpack away.
>>28402477>file nameSomeone else knows how to play knifey-spooney, eh?
>>28402537Actually its a joke from another quest thread.Do not concern yourself with the odd file name.
>>28402464You grab anon and get ready to run for it. But first:Are you sure you want to flee the battle?>Yes>No
>>28402604no, lets make out with the banshee
>>28402604Hell no.Hair Gel Geyser: Blind/Stun the banshee doll thing. Use additional rounds to heal.
>>28402604NO!Unleash bokken upon her ass. I am the wood of my sword Bamboo is my body and lurking is my blood I have created over a thousand bokken Unaware of anons, Nor aware of tripfags Withstood pain to post weapons, waiting for one’s delivering I have only regrets. This is the only path My whole life was unlimited bokken works
>>28402644WE ARE NOT THE BEARDSTROSITY!>>28402649This.
>>28402644>>28402669WE ARE NOT THE DEVOURER.
>>28402604Everyone else is a tard, there is no way we can win with 4 hp, vs a 200hp boss.Fleeeeee
>>28402604Speaking of the beardstrosity...what are the odds that it somehow slipped away and might hear the sounds of fighting?
>>28402705Exactly. That's why we need to stun the doll thing with a Hair Gel Geyser and buy some time to heal up.
>>28402705Precisely, we want to pompadour guy to die so we can get back to the neckbeard adventures.
>>28402857Fuck you, Garush is a boss.
>>28402857but if he dies here, how will his pomp be assimilated into the neck fluff?
Rolled 1>>28402644Maybe after the battle, with her consent and without her killing you.>>28402662>I ams the woods of my swords>Bamboo ams my bodies and lurkings ams my bloods>I createds over thousands of bokkens>Unawares of anons, no awares of tripfags>Withstoods pain postings weapons, waitings for ones delivering>I ams only regrets. This only paths.>Whole lifes was unlimited bokkens worksDuring that whole recitation, you got your bamboo swords ready to attack the puppet certain times fold!Let's see our attack rate is..
Rolled 4>>284030841? Let's reroll!
Rolled 83, 76, 32, 89 = 280>>28403119Your attack is x4!Let's see if we get a devastating result!
Rolled 28Well, that was something. I guess we can move on now?Dice decides our reward money.
>>28403170Lets go to the nearest inn to heal ourselves and anon.
>>28403084>Unlimited Bokken Works>Gate of babylon style attacknitpicking from the frontpage, hahahah
>>28403170Lol if you didn't like the cheapness you shouldn't have rerolled
>>28403170Know what? Keep her head as a souvenir.
>>28403626Naw, we don't want the mods after us.Taking the head of a construct is one thing, but a living being... quite another. Can we exorcise her? Speaking of, can we talk to Torpedork?
>>28403656Its a banshee, she doesn't have any right.
>>28403689Are banshees undead, or outsiders in this world?
>>28403656Do we want a possessed banshee head?I mean, maybe if we stuck it in a sack that contained it, we could throw it at our enemies. But that just seems like a disaster waiting to happen.
>>28404175Depends on the level of possession. Maybe we could exorcise it or bind it somehow?
>>28404237Hmmm. Now that I think about it (and this could totally be sleep deprivation and burn out talking), but just keeping her around to terrify Anon would be amusing.Definitely OTP material. The unholy terror from beyond the grave, and easily scared guy.But seriously, if we could find a way to weaponize her, that'd be great. Maybe we could form some sort of pact? She could possess enemies for us and render them unable to attack?
>>28404383Maybe pull an EVA sort of thing. Use the head to drive Anon to the depths of absolute terror and unleash latent abilities?
>>28404440That could either work well or horribly. I'm not sure that Garush would do that to Anon though. Neckbeard might though.I just realized though, if we keep getting heads, we're going to need a subspace bag or a bag of holding or something.
>>28404504So you're saying we're going to need some headspace?
>>28403170what about XP? Can we level up anon?
>>28405274Think QM has gone off somewhere for a bit.
hey Op I just wanna say this is the best quest ever and you had better see us to a goddamn satisfying conclusion
>>28406699The conclusion is what you make it to be.>>28403626>>28403656You lift the BANSHEE PUPPET up by her head, carefully inspecting her.You voices here make a compelling argument, but what good could this head truly be? You will have to get it sealed or bound for general safety, and then find a safe place to store it so it wouldn't fall into the wrong hands.On the other hand, if you leave her here, she could either stick around and terrorize the board and it's denizens, or bring an actual Banshee here.Decisions, decisions.1/2
>>28408031But it feels like you're forgetting why they were ganging up here.Also, Anon's awake.
>>28408053Check on the person they were mugging first.Anon has healing tears, he'll be fine, probably.
>>28408053Put the banshee head on a stick and wield it like an hammer.And this >>28408111
>>28408124We'll need to properly bind it.I like the idea, but if the seals we slap on it break during melee combat or whatever... we'll be in trouble.
>>28408053Tie up Harpy and Cyclops. Anon girl was just possessed. Don't kill her.
>>28408221Well, it sounds like she's a puppet, which I interpret as meaning like a wooden doll. She's just an inanimate object being inhabited by a spirit. OP please correct me if I'm wrong.
>>28408053Where's the civilian they were attacking?
>>28408124You sure hope this is the right thing to do.
>>28408946Jesus Christ its bleedingOh crap we killed someone.
>>28408946.. Of course it shrieked as you behead it. And it kept shrieking until you stuck it on a stick."You fucking idiot, you fucking FOOL!"Rightio! Should we talk to it, or go see what they were ganging up on?
>>28408946WELPGuess she wasn't literally a puppet.Shit.We... can fix this, right guys?
>>28408946Oh shit, that's a lot of blood, definitely NOT a wooden puppet.
>>28408946...good job, asshole. Now the mods will be on us like Beardstrosity on a horn.
>>28408969Interrogate the heads.
>>28408969Oh shit, Damage control, gotta make her think she wants this. If WE can't explain the bleeding head on a stick to the mods, maybe the bleeding head on a stick can?Move to charm with manliness and impress with pompadour?
>>28408969Well, it's still... alive, if we can use that word.It's shrieking, banshees do that. That's normal.Um. Maybe we should just put it in a sack for now. See if we can exorcise it, maybe. Then we can somehow keep her alive. Magic. I don't know.
>>28408969Talk to the head, give it the name Yorick, even through its female.
>>28409028Okay, yeah, seconding this.See if we can make it stop screaming, maybe get us to like us a little. This may be difficult considering we just ripped her goddamn head from her body, but it never hurts to try.
>>28409004What would you even ask it first?>>28409028That might work, that might work. You just need to figure out the right lines for our Miss Banshee Head here!>>28409116>Heyullo Yorick."That's not even my name you blunder of the year.">It is nows.>Nows tells me whats I wants to knows."Like /what/."
>>28409194Get IT to like us. We already like us.
>>28409204Well, for starters why were you mugging that poor anon?
>>28409204What is your name, actually?How do we exorcise you?Do you know any cheap (preferably good) back alley clerics?
>>28409204 what da hells is ya, why was you wit blinky an flappy, an why da fug is yastills alives.
>>28409204>The hell was that maned thing that diner-dashed?
>>28409204How does it feel to finally be a head?I only have shitty puns. We need a smooth talker to write some charming lines for Miss Banshee.
>>28408969its still technically a ghost. it does this kinda shit to freak people out.
>>28409289Puns can be charming too if you work it right.I place my faith in you punon!
>>28409362Oh, you have sorely misplaced it. Grab a bag, you'll need it.So, how does it feel to finally be a head? I mean, it must be a pretty stressful situation you're in right now, so try not to lose it. Your head, I mean. But don't worry, once you get your head in the game, I'm sure you can come out on top. You've got a good head on your shoulders, I'm sure everything will turn out alright for you.You may now puke.
>>28409500I think we're making headway here. I'm honest, it feels like we're heading in the right direction. Personally, you've destroyed my sides least I've still got my head.Maybe Torpedork's head would be helpful here? I mean, if two heads are better than one, two disembodied heads should be good too, right?
>>28409565Hmmm.I mean... has TA kinda resigned to his fate?Because if he gets pissed and starts yelling, or starts screaming at the screaming head impaled on a stick, I think it could make things worse. Or more interesting, depending on your perspective.
>>28409623I'm just kinda throwing around options.Anon could be used for something here. Maybe he just cries until she becomes uncomfortable and shuts up?
>>28409244>>28409254>What da hells is ya"A head on a stick, ya galoof.">Why was you withs Blinky and Flappy."Because I HANG OUT WITH THEM ALL THE FUCKING TIME.">And why da fug is you stills alives?"Figure it out."Oh, okay.>How does we exorcises you?"You DON'T.">Does you knows any cheaps back alley clerics?"Fuck off."What a sweetheart~
Soo...when does Anon get to UNLEASH? Once we reunite Garush with Neckbeard, we'll be destroying everything and poor Anon might fall behind.
>>28409739Introduce her to Torpedo Asshole's head
>>28409739Banshees like puns, right?Maybe if we pun her enough, she'll cool down. Or her head will explode. One or the other.
>>28409739Dat kinda language aint appropriate. No need ta lose ya head. Now if ya don't wants me ta glue a horn to yas and leaves ya in da street, ya should be civil. Besides, a pretty ting like ya shouldn't use such harsh words, ya know?
>>28409848That... was actually some smooth talking.I believe in you anon!
>>28409739Hold the fuck up. It's that a chest? If it is, open the damn thing, or tell Anon to do it.
>>28410622Shit, it is. Garush is busy working his charm on the girl. >>28409848Anon can do it.Also, guessing OP collapsed due to exhaustion.
my last bump for the night, hope the thread remains alive come mornin
>>28410893Aye, anybody archive this?We've hit the bump limit and we're on page 6 right now.
>>28410893silly me, didn't notice we were past bump limit
>>28411003>>28410915Alright shit sorry back.I've been on and off today, I will be baking cookies tomorrow. I can stay up past bed time for another thread.