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File: 1384713137914.jpg-(99 KB, 450x253, dw_thumb-1.jpg)
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"Welcome to the Deathwatch, I am Watch commander Strurnheim, to some of you, joining this group is considered a great honor, to others it is atonement. I personally don't give a damn which you are, from now on you are all here for one reason and one reason only, to kill the alien!

Initiate, stop right there! Yes you, we were to receive fifteen new initiates not sixteen, tell me who are you and what chapter do you hail from! Speak up lad, are you deaf?

(Roll dice, d100, highest number determines who you are, previous chapter and any obvious anomalies, doesn't have to be canon chapter)
>>
Rolled 82

"Brother Raziel, Assault Marine from Flesh Tearers, successor Chapter of Blood Angels."
>>
Rolled 99

>>28339529
"Brother Dareus, Devastator from the Silver Skulls."
>>
>>28339609
Well shit.
>>
>>28339609
So... loyalist Iron Warrior, then? That can actually make for a few good plot points.
>>
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>>28339529
um.... I think I got in the wrong line.
>>
"Well Brother Dareus,Devastator of the Silver Skulls, do you mind telling me what the hell you are doing here? I already have devastator initiates, and despite what you think I just don't take any half assed Astartes that walks into my keep."

(roll d100, even number= honorable deed, odd number= atonement. The higher the number the bigger the deed/sin.)
>>
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>>28339609
fuck yeh
>>
Rolled 52

>>28339692
We're a former Iron Warrior trying to atone.
>>
Rolled 97

>>28339692
>>
>>28339680
shit, that would make a great thread, imperial guardsman accidentally thrown in with the death watch.

(also somebody roll for weapon of choice for our brother Dareus, d100 roll closest to 1 wins.)
>>
Rolled 28

>>28339731
>>28339714
I got you bruh
>>
Rolled 91

>>28339733
Shokk attack gun
>>
>>28339733
Multi-melta
>>
Rolled 7

>>28339733
Plasma cannon
>>
Rolled 84

>>28339733
Plasma
>>
Rolled 2

>>28339733
A lascannon.
>>
Rolled 75

>>28339756
>>
>>28339714
>Silver Skull
>former Iron Warrior
they take after ultrasmurfs if anything
>>
>>28339609
>>28339731
>>28339761
how do I keep doing this
>>
>>28339764
We have a winner
>>
>>28339785
FUCK YEAH!
>>
Rolled 57

>>28339764
Oh nice. Let's try for a slim chance of heavy flamer.

>>28339769
>>28339714
Supposedly founded by those Ultramarines who worked with and wished to imitate a former Iron Warrior who remained loyalist and was inducted into the Ultramarines. So, you're both kind of right.
http://wh40k.lexicanum.com/wiki/Barabas_Dantioch#.UokRdMSnqJE
http://wh40k.lexicanum.com/wiki/Silver_Skulls#Notes
>>
"Throne take me, don't go about shouting that your'e an iron warrior, we may be xenos killers but that doesn't mean we kill our fair share of heretics. "

"Alright, looks like your credentials are here finally. just get you and your damn lascannon over to Captian Ideaus, he'll be your devastator trainer, if he says jump you better jump, if I hear one word of complaint I'll throw you out of the air lock now away with you.

you make your way through the halls until you meet a figure, captian ideaus, giving instructions to the new initiates on plasma cannon maintenance. As you listen silently you feel a nudge and a brother whisper to you.

"you don't belong here heretic, go back where you came from"

(roll to determine who he is, 1d100 as usual, roll closest to 50)
>>
Rolled 79

>>28339733
A Daemon Engine.
>>
>>28339868

A really old War Hound Dreadnought. Because why not?
>>
Rolled 42

>>28339868
Former Night Lord, who's just joking around cuz he's a dick.
>>
Rolled 44

>>28339868
An Ork infiltrator
>>
Rolled 45

>>28339868
A young Space Wolf.
>>
Rolled 46

>>28339901
Imma add my roll to this.
>>
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>>28339868
"Hmm? You talkin' to me?"
It's an Iron Hands marine.
>>
Rolled 47

>>28339938
dammit, lost the dice
>>
Rolled 19

>>28339868
It's Tankred. Why he is here, who can tell?
>>
Rolled 91

>>28339920
Adding my roll to this
>>
Rolled 16

>>28339868
An Alpha Legion infiltrator pretending to be a Black Templar.
>>
>>28339844
>Homeworld: Varsovia
Wait, so the Silver Skulls are Pollacks?
>>
Rolled 30

>>28339868
The Emperors holy spirit
>>
Rolled 52

>>28339978
And don't you forget it, damn Turkmarine.
>>
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I am Jhan Snoh of the Dire Winter Wolves
>>
Rolled 72

>>28339938
>>28339953
I find this acceptable
>>
Rolled 93

>>28339985
>52
>closest to 50 so far
>no suggestion
why

rollan for Imperial Fists marine
>>
The lore rape in here is intolerable. I'm out
>>
>>28339953
>>28339936
>>28339928
>>28339920
>dem rolls

What the actual fuck is going on
>>
Rolled 76

>>28340018
>implying we needed you anyway, brother Neckberdius

Anyway, it's a Space Yiff, no doubt about it.
>>
>>28339938
>>28339953
I think we may have a winner at this point.
Not OP, just pointing it out.
>>
>>28340027
Dice Gods are demanding tribute again.
Grab the sacrificial greek boy.
>>
You look behind you and see a Iron hands marine, he has a look of disgust on his face looking at you, His arm all the way up to his shoulder is immaculate silver bionics. His right eye and right side of his jaw are replaced and you see that his jaw bionic is meant to look like a skull. He holds a heavy bolter in his hands.

"yes I'm talking to you, you can't hide behind your colors and the ultramarines, you bastard of Pertrabo"

What do you do and/or say? Highest number roll wins. Unless majority wins.
>>
Rolled 97

>>28339920
I approve.
>>
>>28340027
THE DICE GODS GIVETH AND THE DICE GODS TAKETH AWAY.

IT SEEMS THEY ARE SENDING US A MESSAGE.

A COUNTDOWN, PERHAPS.


TO WHAT END, I DARE NOT THINK.
>>
Rolled 81

>>28340045
At least my Primarch ain't dead.

Meanwhole a Salamander goes "OH SNAP"
>>
Rolled 100

>>28340045
"What ho, good sir!"
>>
Rolled 29

>>28339868
A Rainbow Warrior
>>
Rolled 96

>>28340075
Fuck shit fuck shit fuck shit!
>>
>>28340075
We Gentleman now
>>
>>28340075
Damn son.
>>
Rolled 74

>>28340045

*Bang hand on chestplate* Iron Within

*Smack him in the face* Iron Without
>>
>>28340075
#rekt
>>
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>>28340075
My work here is done.
>>
Rolled 67

>>28340045
"We fought under Marneus Calgar in the Corinth Crusade, and defended Armageddon. What have you done recently? Fought amongst yourselves to the point of exiling a chapter's worth of Marines, and taking a vacation fighting blue-skinned yellow-bellied xenos?"
>>
>>28340075
>>28340147
...and while I wasted time looking up campaigns, you won with "What ho."
I'm not even mad. I'm impressed.
>>
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>>28340174
Many thanks.

Have a lovely DUWANG
>>
*damn it*

The Iron Hand warrior looks taken aback, almost unable to comprehend what just occurred, very clearly expecting something else. you can hear a quiet laugh from a salamander marine listening to this conversation.

"You think your'e better than me, but well see about that, We don't need traitors here, just wait until the imperial fists hear about this"

Captian Ideaus shouts towards you, "Unless your conversation was dreadfully important perhaps you two could give us an example of marksmanship, since you seem fit to talk during my lesson.

the marines push you both towards the front, Targets appear down range. "fire when ready"

The iron hands warrior seems eager to shame you, he sights down his barrel and fires, scoring several targets, "Beat that heretic"

Roll, Lowest roll wins (degrees of succes closest to one shows how many targets you hit) and what you say to him and/or Captian Ideaus.
>>
Rolled 61

>>28340213
"My word, this gentleman seems to be incapable of shooting.
>>
Rolled 94

>>28340213
rollan, someone else can think of something witty to say
>>
Rolled 32

>>28340213
Oh my, I feel quite dapper and accurate today.
>>
Rolled 50

>>28340213
Pwoosh!
"My gun has... quite a burn."
>>
>>28340226
Good shot old bean.
Now let me show you how it's done so you can become an actual warrior.
>>
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Rolled 42

>>28340213
"Good sir, I'll have you know that Varsovia marksmanship is the UNIVERSE'S GREATEST MARKSMAN SHIIPPPPPP!"
>>
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Rolled 16

>>28340213
"Don't look at the beam, it can be blinding!"
>>
Rolled 95

>>28340213
Jolly good shot, sir. Now let me have a go at it, what what?
>>
>>28340271
Seconded
>>
>>28340213
Rollan
>>
Rolled 46

>>28340213
"I say, you're quite the poor sport! Let's have a go, then!"
>>
Rolled 91

>>28340213
Let's have at it, you perfidious scallywag!
>>
>>28340213
I say I simply am not having a good day this occasion!
>>
Rolled 34

>>28340213
(singing) "A Varsovian tar is a soooaring soul, as free as a mountain bi-ird..."
>>
Rolled 77

>>28340213
Yo mang, look at me. I'm a Salamander, yo!
>>
Rolled 99

>>28340329
Fuck me
>>
Rolled 44

>>28340308
seconding
>>
Rolled 92

>>28340213

"Suck it, Sororitas!" complete with two middle fingers.
>>
>>28340341
I hope Op uses your previous post.
>>
The iron hand scowls at you in frustration, grinding his bionic teeth together.

"Good advice Dareus and excellent show of conduct" Captian Ideaus says, teaching the class, "the lascannon beam should not be looked at directly, in fact the most skilled warriors know to close their eyes right before they fire, Apparently they teach the silver skulls right, I'm assigning you to fifth squad.

After lessons of the day are over you are assigned to fifth squad.

Who is fifth squad composed of? (roll, numbers closest to 15, 45 and 99 determine the rest of your kill team)
>>
Rolled 67

>>28340334
This.
>>
Rolled 26

>>28340352
Guardsmen who got lost.
>>
Rolled 18

>>28340352
rollan, also OP can you start linking to the posts you use?
>>
Rolled 69

>>28340352
Full ex-traitor squad man.
>>
Rolled 15

>>28340352
>352 Replies: >>28340366
Guardsmen and a lone Ork boy called Fred
>>
>>28340372
Inquisitor shitstorm inc.
>>
Rolled 55

>>28340352
A hot-blooded Raven Guard assault marine who got dumped to the Deathwatch for his love of shouting during stealth operations.
>>
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Rolled 24

>>28340378
BATTLE BROTHER!
>>
Rolled 40

>>28340378
Oh Emperor damn.
>>
Rolled 47

>>28340352

That Iron Hand we just pissed off
>>
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>>28340378
>>
Rolled 27

>>28340352
Salamander bro, a Blood Raven and a White Scar.
>>
Rolled 84

>>28340352
A Salamander who loves fighting with his fisticuffs.
>>
Rolled 94

>>28340352
blueberry
>>
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>>28340396
Delicious
>>
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>>28340378
What have i done?
>>
>>28340352
Alpha Legionaire in disguise of Ultramarine (no one knows).
He's actually better at following Codex Astrates than most Ultramarines.
>>
Rolled 19

>>28340378
I'm gonna roll behind this gentleman
>>
Rolled 80

>>28340427

And for my next trick, an Imperial Fist.
>>
Rolled 81

>>28340352
Salamander who snickered
>>
Rolled 25

>>28340442
Rollan
>>
Rolled 46

>>28340442
rollan
>>
...We're getting Guardsmen, Fred, Alpha Legionnaire, and Tau.


This is hilarious.
>>
Rolled 39

>>28340396
rollan
>>
Rolled 86

>>28340352
White Scar marine who's gotta go fast
>>
Rolled 83

>>28340475
his name is So'Nicu
>>
>>28340472
very. I think we oughta stop now, it's impossible to get better from her
>>
Rolled 65

>>28340472
NO
Rollan for Blood Raven
>>
>>28340442
"Captain, I think there's something's wrong with Brother Codexus."
>>
Rolled 10

>>28340493
seconding that
>>
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Rolled 71

Fuck it. Kharn is in the team. Because right now he's busy betraying Chaos.
>>
>>28340500
"Yes, I know, he has this habit of repeating all prayers and rites one extra time."
>>
Rolled 50

>>28340493
one more try
>>
>>28340378
>>28340396
And so you make your way past all the bustling amounts of initiates, some glaring at you, some slapping your shoulder with a hearty "welcome bruva Daceus!" but you just want to find your squad, you eventually make your way into a room marked "5" and see something...odd.

a lone guardsman, his flak armor painted death watch black and the symbol on his shoulder, he is wearing a gas mask, even inside. he's polishing his lasgun, the words "blueberry" written down the barrel.

an ork, also painted in deathwatch colors. uselessly poslishing a crude and rusty bolter, you see he isn't even using polish, just wiping it with a cloth like blueberry is doing.

the salamander who laughed at your comment, he is punching a punching bag, leaving large holes in it every time.

and lo and behold, the iron hands warrior.

"welcome to fifth squad" the salamander shoults.

"I'm in hell" whispers the iron hands.
>>
>>28340493
Your dice betray you.
>>
>>28340500
"I agree he's a little narrow minded in his interpretation of the codex, , and his refusal to wear the black of the deathwatch is a little rude, and his screaming of "WE MARCH FOR MACRAGGE!" during stealth missions more than a little annoying, but such is the way with the folk of Ultramar."

"But sir, I am of Ultrimar!"
>>
>>28340549
We are the A-Squad.
>>
Rolled 55

>>28340472
Hoping to replace guardsman/Fred and/or Tau
with Crimson Fists
>>
Rolled 26

>>28340549
"What ho, brothers! Are you ready for your assignment?"
>>
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>>28340549
Jesus fucking christ.
>>
>>28340549
Dat inquisitorial remit.
>>
>>28340549
The Salamander knows the guardsman and the ork definitely are not suppose to be there, but he's keeping quiet because it's funny as hell.
>>
>>28340549
Let us defeat the enemy with our superior and more sophisticated tactics and skill at arms chaps!
>>
>>28340549
Somewhere in the Segmentum Pacificus, a large inquisitorial cabal just up and had a heart attack. All of them.
>>
I think the dice gods are up to something. This and that other thread point to them being highly active and trollsome today.
>>
It just occurred to me that it's going to awkward to have two devastators in a single squad.

I mean you know, more awkward than before.
>>
Rolled 13

>>28340549
Do not question the ork or the masked Guardsman.

Mock the Iron Hands.
>>
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>>28340631
You don't say.
>>
Rolled 28

>>28340549

*Bang hand on chestplate* Iron Within

*Offer brofist to the Iron Hand* Iron Without
>>
>>28340646
look at this thread
http://suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/archive/28337976/
The dice gods are anry because of it's OP.
>>
Rolled 31

>>28340549
"HAIL, GOOD SIRS!"


The Ork has a tophat, too, I presume.
>>
>>28340573
you walk in confused, everyone but the iron hands gets up to greet you.

The guardsman shakes your massive hand. "We like to call ourselves the A-squad, pretty much the best damn unit, at least we think so. My name...well I don't have a name, damn steel legion, but just call me blueberry, it's a long story, I was suppose to go to Armageddon but I got in the wrong line. This is fred the ork, don't worry, he's more loyal than anyone else here, they say he got hit on the head and ever since then he's been slaying xenos to this day, just don't tell him he's a you-know-what, as far as he knows he thinks he's a space marine.

This salamander is like you, ex alpha legion, drafted into the salamanders, all he calls himself is alpaharious, must be a inter chapter thing or something.

and of course you know this grumpy bastard, iron hands but don't worry, he'll come around.

the iron hands is cursing under his breathe and sulking.

"You seem like a nice guy, are you ready for our first mission, they really don't wait around here. (highest roll determines the mission)
>>
Rolled 85

>>28340673
We must liberate a top hat factory from Necrons.


Dapper Necrons.
>>
>>28340673
>inb4 this actually IS alpharius
>>
Rolled 92

>>28340673
Defeating a Jive Tyrant on the disco planet Boogialus IV
>>
This is the best thread on /tg/ right now
>>
Rolled 76

>>28340673
Infilitrate a Water Caste outpost to snatch some documents. No bloodshed allowed.
>>
>>28340688
And find some monocles while we're at it.
>>
Should i archive this?
>>
Rolled 34

>>28340711
Seconding this because it sounds fun.
>>
Rolled 28

>>28340673

Good old fashioned physical labour. Digging trenches so other marines can fight in them.
>>
Rolled 33

>>28340673
>>28340688
>>28340700
>>28340716

Know what?

Liberate a tophat and monocole factory on Boogialus IV from Dapper Necrons while the Jive Fleet waltzes all over the lines.
>>
>>28340707
people do love them some lolrandom.
>>
Rolled 100

>>28340673
Eldar are attacking an agriworld.
We must defend the grain!
>>
Rolled 44

>>28340748
This. Just this
>>
Rolled 77

>>28340673

Providing support to an Imperial Fist detachment.
>>
Rolled 10

>>28340673
I think good brother alpharious just had a wonderful suggestion of escorting a munitions supply. He says he knows a great, perfectly safe path through the eye of terror, which has a much worse reputation than it deserves
>>
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>>28340700
>disco jive
>dubs
This is fantastic.
>>
>>28340757
This is just sad...

At least make them be a thinly veiled banana republic expy.
>>
>>28340757
WELL THERE IT IS THEN HUH. DEFENDING GRAIN.

YOU ASSHOLE.

WE BETTER MAKE BEER OUT OF IT IN THE END.
>>
>>28340757
So the dice gods give us an Orc, a Guardsman, and the Iron Hand we just owned, and then they decide to have us defend grain instead of defeating a Jive Tyrant?

God fucking damn it, what did we do to deserve this?
>>
Rolled 20

>>28340748
Thirded
>>
Oh Jseus, I can't even type staright plesa somebody archive this
>>
>>28340748
You nod, "right I am, though I must say it is a peculiar mission, however I won't go against the holy deathwatch, order are orders I suppose."

The ork nods "DETH TO DO XENOS, GLORY TO DAH EMPRAH!".

Alpharious picks up his weapon, "I have forseen dire consequences lest we liberate this unusual place, worlds burning."

The iron hands just sighs, "lets just get this over with...this is going to be a long six years".

Blue berry picks up his gun, "alright, lets get going, the lander won't wait for us."

Without a word you all walk down the hallway, EVERYONE looking at you, with confusion.

You make your way to the thunder hawk and board it, from there, you come to a ship, a rogue trader vessel, eager to pay off an old debt to the death watch.

the voyage is a month, what do you all do in that time. (highest roll wins, or majority overrule)
>>
>>28340800
The planet's population is too small to field a large enough PDF to protect the grain themselves and most are furloughed to assist in the harvest!

They need our help, Battle-Brother! To arms! Drive back the witches and protect the grain for the Glory of the Empra!
>>
Rolled 99

>>28340865

Play poker
>>
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a guardsman, a flashgit, an iron warrior, and an iron hands marine.

>mfw
>>
>>28340849
>>28340800
>>28340781
Oh ye of little faith.... Do you think the gods would bless us with crew and leave us to simple grain?
No, much will come of this grain. And if we listen to good brother Alpharious I'm sure we will have much, extremely loyal, fun
>>
Rolled 51

>>28340888
STRIP poker.
>>
Hold it. I have a picture I need to find.
>>
Rolled 38

>>28340865
adopt a puppy
>>
Rolled 42

>>28340914
I'm seconding this.
>>
Rolled 8

>>28340914
With some sexy Sisters of Battle that were on the ship at the time.
>>
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>>28340757
wheeee
>>
Rolled 18

>>28340865
Practice our funky moves.
>>
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>>28340891
Don't forget the not-Alpha Legion
>>
Archived for Great Justice!
>>
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now who voices our troop? WHO VOICES THEM

clearly we are missing the
>token girl
>robot companion servoskull/turboskull armed with 4 multilasers who can barely move
>>
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Rolled 80

>>28340865
We dance.
>>
>>28341020
Second this
>>
>>28340888
And so, without any ceremony you are sent onto your ship, your rogue trader is confused (it's safe to say everyone is confused by the A-squad) But he leaves you to your quarters. Apparently he was also sending a contingent of sisters of battle to the grain world as well, as food shortages had led to an uprising, you would kill the eldar, and they would deal with the hungry citizens.

after dropping numerous subtle hints, peer pressure and inneuindos you managed to play a very wild game of strip poker, finding out that fred missed his true calling of being able to count cards.

the night was wild and unforgettable, you laughed. You cried (fred lost at one point) and you made good friends with the sisters. The iron hands skulked in his room alone leaving you all to have fun.

finally you enter the planets orbit, the eldar are attacking the main silo, you are drop podded into the heart of battle, A warp spider exarch leading the fight, Everyone looks to you, as you have become the de facto leader of sorts.

(highest roll determines what you do/ tell others to do)
>>
Rolled 9

>>28340865
We play... Monopoly!
>>
Rolled 18

>>28341055
We dance!
>>
Rolled 87

>>28341055
FUCK! SHIT! UP!
With style and sophistication of course good chaps!
>>
Rolled 60

>>28341055
FUCK!SHIT!UP!
With style and sophistication of course good chaps.
>>
>>28341107
>>28341087
But i only posted once?
>>
Rolled 25

>>28341055
Introduce eldar to the lascannon. Whilst sisters burn everything
>>
Rolled 54

>>28341055
Throw fred, who throws blueberry, into the warp spider's face
>>
Rolled 76

>>28341055
"Good Morning sirs. Have you considered letting the God Emperor of Man into you life ?"

And then processed firing at them
>>
Rolled 70

>>28341055
Require the scale of collateral damage to be redefined by exceeding it.
>>
Rolled 64

>>28341161
backing this up
>>
Rolled 76

>>28341055
BURN EVERYTHING
>>
Rolled 97

>>28341161
This.
>>
>>28341161
Thirded
>>
Rolled 20

>>28341161
Seconding!
>>
>>28341087
Xenos weapons fire shoots all around you, you stand composed. "Give them a proper deathwatch welcome, and do be polite about it" You aim your lascannon and take out a eldar trooper.

your men go to work, The iron hands screaming for the EMPRAH and howling with anger.

Alpharious engages in fisticuffs with several warp spiders while blue berry hops behind a shot up silo.

together you turn the tide, it looks like they are about to retreat, however the exarch appears close, close enough for the kill, you have one shot to take.

who gets to attack the exarch? (highest roll wins)

(also I will be gone for about a half hour, be back guys, thanks for being awesome)
>>
Rolled 29

>>28341161
This. Specifically lascannon to the warp spider exarch
>>
Rolled 43

>>28341270
Let the iron hand have him
>>
Rolled 12

>>28341270
I guess we call agree that the Ork deserves that honour
>>
Rolled 82

>>28341270
special attack
>>28341141
>>
Rolled 50

>>28341270
Club him to death with the lascannon.
>>
Rolled 60

>>28341305
Then strike a Super Sentai pose while the background explodes.
>>
>>28340740
Wait for it, but certainly it will be worth it
>>
>>28341141
who thows a Frag Grenade
>>
Rolled 85

>>28341270
the grain silo
>>
Rolled 60

>>28341399
OH SHIT!
It's actually a DAOT Disco bot!
>>
Rolled 30

>>28341373
into the exarchs mouth
>>
Rolled 86

>>28341444
And then shoots the grenade with his laspistol
>>
>>28341305
you raise your lascannon but come up with an idea, an old and ancient idea worthy of champion

you drop your lascannon, damn what ideas would say and scream for alpharious and iron hands to be a good chap and cover for you. You scoop up blue berry in one hand and grab fred with your other, and tell them of your masterful plan.

*several seconds later*

the eldar screams in his alien language to fall back and powers up his webway pack when suddenly daceus leaps over the silo and tosses fred and blue berry high into the air, straight up. all eyes on them.

once blue berry reaches a good enough height he grabs fred and with all his human strength, hurls him down.

fred straightens his body like a missile screaming "WAAAAAAAAGGGGGGGHHH" (some things just never change.) as he impales the eldar exarch upon his bayonet. Instantly the thousands of years old exarch dies.

the enemy flees in terror, while iron hands and alpharious mop them up with bolter and fits.

The battered guardsman and sisters look up to you all, you just happen to be atop the silo, rather magnificently, any inspiring words in the moment of complete silence?

(highest roll wins)
>>
Rolled 88

>>28341508
Check em put on Astartes pattern sunglasses
>>
Rolled 69

>>28341508
"If you do the Emperor's Work every day, then maybe one day could can be just like us"

While raising our thumbs and with shiny smile on our face
>>
Rolled 64

>>28341508
"has anyone really been far even as decided to use even go want to do look more like!?"
>>
Rolled 71

>>28341557
By that I mean say "check em!" before putting on our sunglasses
>>
Rolled 81

>>28341508
"Who the bloody hell do you think I am?!"
>>
Rolled 49

>>28341508
"Varsovian Fastball Special, courtesy of the Emperor! May his light shine on!"
>>
Rolled 67

>>28341508
"I, uh, I don't have anything to say, really."
>>
Rolled 68

>>28341508
Alley-oop!
>>
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Rolled 23

Don't say anything, make a Jojo pose
>>
Rolled 80

>>28341508
"Ladies and gentlemen, this is how Xeno should be killed. With sophisticated style."
>>28341557
Finished with that.
>>
Rolled 44

>>28341270
Have the warp spider tele just under the falling silo. Which fall because Blueberry kicked it.
>>
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>>28341662
Do you even post?!
>>
Rolled 29

>>28341508
Two shots, one thousand year old kill.
>>
>>28341557
In in the silence that follows you dig into your satchel and pull out a pair of gold rimed sunglasses with a quiet yet defiant statement of "check em"

suddenly the army and sisters are in an uproar, screaming your praises with a fervent "A SQUAD, A SQUAD, A SQUAD, A SQUAD". Blueberry and fred is hoisted in the air, everyone crowds around you, sisters kiss you and soldiers raise their weapons. they follow you all the way back to the city, where the rioting has stopped, hearing how the "Angles of the Emperor saved them"

Some however, some nonbelievers, are angry, that known traitors and xenos are present, and cry for your execution.

Suddenly, an inquisitor appears. (it was a matter of time) and demands that you enter into his fortress (with several armed warriors helping pursuade you)

The inquistor looks you over with confusion and disgust, he drops a file onto the table. "those people out there, they sing your praises, they are even talking of making this day a holiday, you want to tell me what your'e doing here, last time I checked there were no xenos and heretics working in the Deathwatch." He lights a cigar, filling the room with smoke.

How do you explain yourself and your odd band of warrior brothers? (highest roll determines, unless majority overrules)
>>
Rolled 43

>>28341866
Explain him that Fred is a new breed of ork which is capable of being pure and praising the emprah, which could be used to an advantage to make a pure ork race to use for fast breeding strong forces.
>>
Rolled 30

>>28341866
As we open our mouth to speak a golden face resembling the Emperor appears.
"These warriors are pure of heart and soul! Let those that doubt them commit Sudoku!"
"So I will it! So it shall be!"
>>
Rolled 13

>>28341866
"Good sir, there are no heretics among us, as we're all loyal servants of the Emperor.

As for Fred, he has a skin condition."
>>
Rolled 17

>>28341866
We sir, we are the Emperor's finest, the A SQUAD. And as you can see we get shit done
>>
are these dreams of a deactivated dreadnought?
>>
File: 1384722535123.jpg-(1.72 MB, 1600x1200, going-postal.jpg)
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>>28341807
More than that.
I postal!
>>
Rolled 92

>>28341866
"I admit, my team may be unusual, but rest assured, we are faithful servants of the Emperor."
>>
Rolled 54

>>28341866
My good Inquisitor, have you never heard of Black Shields?
>>
File: 1384722663831.jpg-(137 KB, 489x493, donotwant.jpg)
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Please include "Quest" in your subject title so that you can be filtered.
>>
Rolled 70

>>28341866
I notice that you failed to notice the chap with the lasrifle. And as for the makeup of our team, the Emperor provides and the ship moves. And I assure you, the Iron Hand is not a heretic for following his instructions.
>>
Rolled 78

>>28341984
If you have a problem, if no one else can help, and if you can find them....maybe you can hire The A-Squad.
>>
>>28342013
this thing probably won't last more than single thread
>>
>>28340740
Are you mad, man? Of course!
>>
Rolled 72

>>28341866
Eye augmentics of our Watch Commander are not as good as they used to be, kind Inquisitor. But all of those champs are completely loyal to our glorious cause and I am sure that they have proven it by fighting against the Eldar to protect this Agri World and their crops.
>>
Rolled 73

>>28341866
"Well, we were lining up to get some amasec, but it turns out it was the wrong line."
>>
File: 1384723331502.gif-(509 KB, 640x360, dunno.gif)
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>>28342034

Some of us don't want to see these things. Not even once.
>>
Rolled 67

>>28341866

We cannot convince him are are imprisoned in a high-security prison for a crime we didn't commit.
>>
>>28342217
I'm not sure if this was supposed to be a quest from the beginning
>>
Rolled 38

>>28341866
We are the EMPRAHS faithful Followers! Can't you see his divine wisdom in bringing this illustrious group of knights errant together to do his utmost holy words just?
Only the Heretic is doubtful of his eternal wisdom, are you there to question it?
>>
>>28341984
"That's for the inquisition to determine, the only reason I am not executing you right now is the rioting people outside demanding your release."

The inquisitor leaves the room, individuals come and go for the better part of a day. They escort you weaponless to a cell and you await the night.

The following morning. You are met by the inquisitor and dozens of individuals you have never met.

"We spoke with your watch commander, he confirms your story, unfortunately your info is beyond either my or his level of clearance, I have very powerful people breathing down my neck, demanding I release you. They also say this meeting never happened. That you are apart of something bigger than the inquisition and the deathwatch. And I am to send you on your way, to an undisclosed planet for Emperor knows what, get the hell out of my office.

On your way to your ship you receive an incrypted letter from a blank eyes. You open the letter,

"We didn't think you would pull this off, however, it seems that you have value, If you fail you will be denied as ever having existed, and we burn any evidence of your actions. The missions we have set up for you are dangerous and unusual to say the least. However you have no say in these matters. SImply follow your orders and obery the emperor or die, the choice is yours"
-X

the iron hands warrior screams in frustration, Fred in joy. You are boarded onto the ship without a word.

(does anyone want this thread to continue, Its already gone farther than I even thought it would, but I can keep going if anyone else wants, new missions for the A-squad and such.)
>>
Rolled 15

>>28342253
I think OP wanted to make a character but decided to roll with what was happening because he seems to be a cool guy.
>>
>>28342274
Yes, continue
>>
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Rolled 76

>>28342274
If you want to stop you can but i would love to see this continued in the future.
Either way you are a true bro OP.
>>
>>28342290
It was but I am a newfag Gm who is still getting the hang of it, thanks for being patient with me, I am totally down for continuing the badass yet hilarious story you all have written. I might even do some write/artfaggotry.
>>
>>28342274
we're having fun OP. You're choice, we'll be here
>>
>>28342561
See you later space cowboy
>>
I think I would like to continue, if anyone is here sound off, if not, I'll make a new thread and link to this.
>>
Rolled 99

>>28342983
im still here
>>
Rolled 24

>>28342983
Here.
>>
>>28342983
Still here
>>
>>28342983
I'm here, but I do think you should make a new thread, breath some fresh life in
>>
>>28342983
yo
>>
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(hell yes, still hoping for the same amount of crazy and awesome)

It's been months since the first victory of A-squad, becoming distant memories of the local population. Back at their Death Watch keep however they are very much active, their reputation for taking the most unusual and dangerous jobs (often unusually dangerous) and pulling off success is becoming quite the gossip.

While many question you, none doubt you, except for the iron hands warrior, who has never seemed to fit in. Even he unable to deny the victories you bring the Imperium.

After the squads evening prayers they are greeted by none other than the famous Watch Commander Sturnheim, "brothers, I have another mission for you, Our librarians received a vision, one that must be answered immediately.

What is this dreaded mission the A squad must take? (roll 1d100, highest determines the mission)
>>
Rolled 5

>>28343134
>>
Rolled 25

>>28343134
Surfing competition
>>
Rolled 31

>>28343134
Trolling the Space Wolves
>>
Rolled 28

>>28343134

Save the Planet Governor's Kitten trapped on to of a tree while the said planet is being overrun by the Tyranids
>>
Rolled 96

>>28343134
Rescue some sisters from the hands of some diabolical Dark Eldar
>>
Rolled 16

>>28343134
Rescue a VIP from a feral world filled with cute pink fluffy tyranids
>>
>>28343134
Replacing one of creeds baneblades with an ancient locomotive device know what as a "prius"
>>
Rolled 14

>>28343134
The abundance of laspistol-wielding Psykers has produced a Chaos God of Laspistols, and his cult, the Sons of the Flashlight, is starting to grow and must be purged.
>>
Rolled 4

>>28343134
jive tyrant
>>
>>28343242
thread continued on this new page
>>28343246

will go with your story


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