>>28318411

"You're going to die," You remember her spitting at you, in a haughty, snide tone that you never cared for. "You're going to die for such a pointless reason, and all you can say is 'Oh'? Tell me, are you a complete and utter idiot?"

Your response then was just flipping her off. Flipped her off HARD, and made your decision that as soon as you wake up, the first thing you'd do is to find the mutant cat bastard and get a contract drafted.

She didn't like that very much. Kept screaming about how it would just be cutting what little time you had left in half, and how unimaginably stupid it would be to spend your last days as a Magical Girl. She used a lot of big words, too, words you would've looked up in a dictionary, if you had one. Still made you feel stupid.

But what really ticked YOU off was when she told you that you couldn't go through with it. About how she can't save you if you die as a Magical Girl. Something about her not being able to snatch your soul away before it's eaten if it shatters as a Soul Gem.

If there's anything you hate the most - girls who think they're better than you just because they can say big words and wear expensive clothes being very near the top of your shit list - it's being told what you can and can't do.

Kaneda Madoka didn't drop out of middle school and get her first sparkly award at twelve just for some smirking dream bitch to tell her what to do.

[1/2]

>>28318424

...

Well. Time to let THAT go, you think. You never saw her again after Kyuubey took you up on your offer, anyway - your dreams instead becoming starkly-clear visions of a future you needed to prevent, and the things you needed to do to prevent it.

Including dying. Yes. That's on the list.

But not right now. Right now, you're crossing off another item entirely - that is, rescuing a Magical Girl from the world's asshole, as Xiaomei had so eloquently described it.

Varrigan City's a huge fucking place, though, and it would take you days to scour the entire city for her. Good thing, then, that you have a contact on the inside - one you're on your way to right now, riding on your best friend's monster of a bike. Driving full throttle on a road so named because of the many illegal races that took place on it - as well as the amount of blood spilled on it, because of said illegal races.

Seriously, you've passed by so many rusting wrecks of cars, bikes, and other vehicles rusting on the roadside that you gave up counting, and focused instead on the task ahead.

In any case, you're headed towards Asian Town. Your contact, Professor Madaraki the Second, should be in there somewhere.

The current time, as displayed by your helmet's HUD, reads 11:08:20 AM. Thirty minutes or so. Not too bad, you consider. You're making good time.

It's around the time when you contemplate switching the radio on for some driving music when your codec beeps for attention again. You blink-click to accept the call, and growl at the speaker to make it quick. You're driving, here.

"Oh, Malal suddenly concerned about safety now, when she is on Redline Highway! Place where people put spikes on everything in their car, including on seats!" Xiaomei's voice, already bristling with sarcasm earlier, was now hitting full middle-aged Chinese Mom right now. "Tell me to hurry up, this stupid girl!"

Right, right. You supress the urge to chuckle, here. Why is she calling again?

[2/3]

>>28318424
>Your response then was just flipping her off. Flipped her off HARD
Murderface approves.

>>28318433

"Ah, now you ask! Maybe, maybe if was not so damn RUDE earlier, conversation would have been over already, right?" You hear her clear her throat. "Was just about to say, before being rudely interrupted, that there is distress signal coming from ahead of you."

Distress signal?

"Yes, distress signal! Someone asking for help!" Xiaomei snaps. "It is two clicks away from you. From what I hear I think it is Magical Girl being chased by local motorcycle gang. She is very injured and asking for support." It's here that she huffs. "You can ignore if you want. This would only be delay, I am thinking, so recommend that you leave it."

How do you respond?

>>28318438
[X] Say nothing. Make the detour

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>>28318438

[X] Ask if the distress signal has given a name. Head over anyway.

Rather it didn't have to be a surprise.

>>28318438
[X] Head towards the signal.

We're making good time and we know exactly what those thugs would do if they caught her.

>>28318438
[x] Help out, if it's just the locals it shouldn't take but a minute or two.

>>28318438
We are looking for a magical girl in this hell hole. We might get lucky and find her in distress.

>>28318494
>We might get lucky and find her in distress.
knowing what we do about Kharn, I have a feeling when we find her there may well be distress.

Whether it'll belong to Kharn or not is anyone's guess

>>28318494

it is unlikely but even if it is a different MG we can get a favor out of it for later use.

>>28318508
I honestly think we're going to find Kharn buried in a pile of alcohol, skulls and naked women.

Be honest everyone
We're heading after the distress signal because we're deathly afraid of not saving someone who might be important later on, and it's already a given that Malal gets Kharn out of the city alive, so we don't need to worry about time.

Well, unless this is when Kharn goes witch mode, which isn't an altogether impossible event, it just seems a bit early from the way people talk about it.

dgshajgfsa
decu
more warning pls
was playing xcom, missed announce and vote

>>28318546
It's a zero-sum game.

Being nice is going to kill us. So is being a bitch. Might as well be nice.

Besides, we're looking for a magical girl in distress. It's not impossible this is her, or related to her.

>Only 30 minute thread warning
why

>>28318535

needs a "X is dildos" edit, 'X' being whatever applies: Names, This plan, Watch wearing, Pinky, Fun.

>>28318546

we know Kharn will get saved but if we can manage to save someone here, they might have information or feel indebted to us. Which might make dealing with whatever Decu will throw at us just a little bit more forgiving.

>>28318581
besides, I'm pretty sure Xiaomei/Decu had a pretty good idea what we were about to do.

If they really didn't want us to do this, they wouldn't have told us about it at all.

>>28318411
>>28318424
>>28318433
So, what

Malal was reverse-us?

Madoka instead of Homura

Crazy god-Homura instead of crazy god-Madoka

Had her crazy god stalk her while she wasn't a magical girl instead of being stalked while being a magical girl

Prefers to kneecap people with a melee weapon instead of with a gun

Is the second in command to the Warmaster instead of being the Warmaster

And puts up with Kharns shit instead of wanting to murder her in her sleep for being so fucking irresponsible and stupid?

Oh yeah, and she's dead rather than alive like we are.

>>28318597
>Oh yeah, and she's dead rather than alive like we are.
Malal Dead outside
Chiaki Dead inside

>>28318615
....that's a very brutal way to put that.

True, but brutal.

>>28318597
Hmmm...
But where is Malal's watermelon? Or would it be a different kind of melon?

>>28318624
welcome to urobuchi city: Population suffering

>>28318615
But we're not dead inside.

Not as long as we have Midorin and Mumi's pancakes and motherly love.

>>28318634
Black (Kharn), black (Murderface) and black (Homura).

...Drawing a blank.

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What's Akira from Rival Schools doing on /tg/?

>>28318644
Being Meguka.

>>28318642
>Not as long as we have Midorin and Mumi's pancakes and motherly love.
...you had to say it, didn't you.

>>28318597
Pinky has said before that there have been other Homura's. She regarded them as 'fake' iirc. It's entirely possible she enslaved/recruited one to her own cause

>>28318642
BAD! NO COOKIE!

For Hades' sake, it's a Noir Quest!

>>28318660
mate we haven't been noir since thread 2

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>>28318642
>>Not as long as we have Midorin and Mumi's pancakes and motherly love.

I guess this is a good time as any to announce that I have learned how to shoujo bubbles

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>>28318634
>>28318642

do you see it now?

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>>28318666
[FLESH OF FALLEN ANGELS SHOUJOFY]

>>28318666
These shoujo bubbles seem to be amplifying the adorableness of your images by as much as 38%!

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>>28318675
>>28318657

>>28318689
season 2 never

>>28318689
Hey, maybe she keeps one around to abuse when we frustrate her? Maybe they know something we don't? We should ask Pinky about the other Homura's sometime.

>>28318666
Posting from phone from work...>shojou bubbles.
Welp ive got a new background when I get home

>>28318716
It seems more likely that she just rips their hearts out.

Homura Prime is the only girl that Pinky has eyes for. Except maybe Midori (stupid wish!)

>>28318644

Isn't the first time the design's been used in a quest. It's weird, nothing else from that game was really remembered but everyone loves Akira.

>>28318762
it's not exactly like it's an original design.

Biker outfit plus skull pattern. It's like the basic DNA of "badass".

>>28318657
On the other hand, our own phone regarded US as a fake..

>>28318668
I can see a wall of these coming out and flying at someone like bad CG monsters in a Sci Fi channel original movie.

>>28318783
Actually it said we weren't who we thought we were.

Almost directly after we had decided we were Chiaki Matsuda.

>>28318762
Badass kendo teacher in Adidas gear.

>>28318783
It said you are not who you think you are.

We think we are a fake.

Ergo...

Of course it could ACTUALLY be referring to a shitload of things. ie you're not a pretty bringer of love, justice and hope, you're a glorified assassin with superpowers with a very short life expectancy, and will probably accomplish nothing of real value during that short time. In other words, shut the fuck up and kill your mentor who witched out, she knew the risks when she signed up and so did you.

>>28318790
It's SyFy now. It's all hip and cool now.

>>28318448 >>28318451 >>28318469

Did the distress signal identify as anything, then?

"If it did, would have told you right away, yes?" Xiaomei's voice could have curdled milk. "No, no identification, no anything. Although, recognize style of address - would bet Malal lunch that girl is from Second." She chuckles. "Accent like that, thinking they are so noble, uppity knights? Not so easy to miss, you know!"

The Second, huh? What's one of them doing so far out here?

"Training mission, probably? Ayah, do not know, am shrine maiden, not psychic!" A burst of static, and Xiaomei speaks up again. "Anyway, whatever you decide, you do it carefully! Could be trap, you know!"

Yeah, yeah. You thank her for the heads up, and the connection severs itself neatly. You gun the throttle harder, urging Schpeltiger to go faster. Trap or not, you'd at least want to get there before too long - you've heard about what the gangers here do to captured Magical Girls.

Soon enough, you come up behind what appears to be a giant...sort of ramshackle tank eating up the road.

It doesn't look like a tank but so much as a lot of motorcycles and cars nailed together by a random assortment of steel plates of varying thickness. Its surface, pockmarked with welding marks and bullet holes, is also covered with vulgar graffiti - and bristling with what looks like enough gun emplacements to start a small-scale war.

A punknaught. That's...nostalgic. Last time you rode one, it was during a street shootout with a rival yakuza. Of course, that one blew up, but it was still fun.

Anyway. This one seems to be escorted by a pack of bike-riding gangers. Six of them, in fact, and they're hooting something about having a sparkly for dinner.

[1/2]

>>28318834

...Yeah, this is probably what Xiaomei was talking about, earlier.

A quick glance ahead with your helmet's zoom function gives you visual confirmation - they're chasing someone who's also on motorbike, and from the plume of black smoke streaming behind it they don't have long before they break down.

The gangers don't seem to have noticed you just yet.

What do you do?

[]Set Schpeltiger on autopilot and climb on board the punknaught.
[]Slip past and offer the magical girl in trouble a ride. Best to just help her get the fuck out of here.
[]See if there's anything on Schpeltiger to use against the punknaught.
[]Other.

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>>28318834
>Anyway. This one seems to be escorted by a pack of bike-riding gangers. Six of them, in fact, and they're hooting something about having a sparkly for dinner.
[X] Grin Evilly

>>28318411
Man this quest changed a lot since I've been gone.
What happened to murderface and her pancake-making waifu?

>>28318850
>[X]See if there's anything on Schpeltiger to use against the punknaught.
If yes, use it. If not,
>[X]Slip past and offer the magical girl in trouble a ride. Best to just help her get the fuck out of here.

>>28318850
>[X]Slip past and offer the magical girl in trouble a ride. Best to just help her get the fuck out of here.

>>28318850
>[X]Set Schpeltiger on autopilot and climb on board the punknaught.
And >>28318861

Time to steal us a fucking tank.

>>28318850
[x] Take down the escorts, all sneaky like.
>>28318862
Read the archives, spud. This is a flashback.

>>28318850
>[]Other.
Ramp Schpelltiger onto the Punknaught.

I know a little about that monstrosity. It redefines the meaning of "all-terrain". And if we can get a tank for backup out of this, so much the better.

>>28318862

Replaced by superior ramen waifu

>>28318862
She's currently listening to an audio log detailing these very events.

She also watched her pancake-making waifu sleep in her own bed right beforehand.

>>28318878
>superior
attainable

>>28318850
O boy we dealing with Orks now

See if we can start an fight amoung the bikers by using our vox voice synthesizer and a variety of slurrs

>>28318890
>attainable
fuckable without feeling like its incest.

>>28318850

[X]Slip past and offer the magical girl in trouble a ride. Best to just help her get the fuck out of here.

we have a freshly installed Nitro, eat dust, gang scum.

>>28318850
[x] Slip past and offer the magical girl in trouble a ride. Best to just help her get the fuck out of here.

>>28318850
>[x]See if there's anything on Schpeltiger to use against the punknaught.
if not
>[x]Slip past and offer the magical girl in trouble a ride. Best to just help her get the fuck out of here.
and hope they don't shoot our sweet vehicle, Nico would probably not like finding bullet holes later

>>28318898
Schpeltiger is tough as fuck. Anything short of a nuke isn't going to dent it.

>>28318850
>>28318877
[x]Other - use something to land motorbike on tank, and borrow tank.

Nicole would be more annoyed if we let a tank shoot the bike. Tanks can't shoot bikes when the bikes are on top of them.

>>28318909
that's one problem less then. Strange how I'm more worried about the bike being shot than us being shot.

[X]Slip past and offer the magical girl in trouble a ride. Best to just help her get the fuck out of here.

[X]Slip past and....
Just pick her up and put her on the back seat. She's already running scared, let's have a little fun with everyone involved!

>>28318917
This thing is run by Ork tech remember, it flatbed is likely a bunch of gun barrels facing vertically incase it flips on to its side, And now i have to make a truck like this

>>28318850
[x] Slip past and offer the magical girl in trouble a ride. Best to just help her get the fuck out of here.

>>28318930
And that's why looting it's a good plan.

-Then again, it means we miss out on rescuing Kharn with a Terminator line from Schpeltiger - COME WITH ME IF YOU WANT TO LIVE.

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Malal has more of a cupcake end, really, nya.

>>28318961
Nah. We just turn the tank over to our new friend and let her play distraction when we get close enough to Kharn and zip off on the bike.

>>28318909
Disappointed I can't find any Youtube videos of how ridiculous OP Schpeltiger is without irritating Let's Play narration

>>28318965
Necooooooo

>>28318965
But what color is the icing?

>>28319011
Pink, for Madoka! It's the cake that's the myastery.

>>28319024
NECOOOOO

>>28319024
NECO

WHAR IS RAMENBUTT BIO

YOU SAID THERE WOULD BE RAMENBUTT

>>28319024
Blackberry cake with pink icing, got it.

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>>28319037
BITCH SHE AIN'T SHOWN UP ONSCREEN SINCE I STARTED THEM

>>28319047
fucking cat, do something usefull then

>>28319037
But we already know Midori's charm level is S++, we don't need NECO to tell us that.

>>28319065
>Midori's charm level
Sexcretary

>>28319047

I feel the need to tell you that I appreciate that you write these biographies.
But don't get any funny ideas, y-you damn cat.

>>28319065
Midorin doesn't have a charm level, she has an oppai level.
D+

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>>28319056
Well then

REBELLION SPOILERS TIME

nah i'm not a dick

>>28319065
Her Courage level is also probably high enough to pilot a super robot, and her Oppai level is apoximately equal to mami's

>>28319078
You know one bio we haven't seen

Your real one

>>28319090
And other warmasters proboly

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>>28319090
nyue

I haven't appeared on camera either...!

[/spoiler]MAYBE I'LL COUGH IT UP WHEN YOU CATCH ME BATMYAN[/spoiler]

>punknaught
Wish I had that image where those are described. Can someone provide it, please?

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>>28319105
I MEANT TO FAIL AT SPOILER TAGS IT'S HOW I ROLL

Pretend that was Rebellion spoilers okay

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>>28319105
The world of journalism is rife with competition.

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>>28319110
>Pretend that was Rebellion spoilers okay
MR.T's Rebellion Predictions

>>28319110
just admit that you're a failure cat who hasn't been able to disover any intell about ramenbutt

>>28319110
So Neko why do you always fail in saltybet when i want you to win?

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Screw golden half scissors, if there's anything to import from KlK it's this. This quest lacked a banchou character anyway.

>>28319149
She'd never contract, though.

>>28319110
>>28319105
Reminder that Ctrl + S is the shortcut for spoiler tag in quick reply mode

>>28319159
Kill her family.

>>28319131
It is specifically to make you lose your saltybucks, anon.

Specifically you.

>>28319149
Exposition as a powerset is damn amazing.

>>28319170
Holy kitty litter no way

this changes everything

>>28319173
Even then, I don't think she has an inch of despair in her.

>>28319186
as if we'd believe your rebellion spoilers NECO

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>>28319188
holy shit, she is like Kyubey's Kryptonite.

>>28319188
There's a limit to how much a character can stick to its concept. You can be all sugar-spice-and-everything-nice as you want, if you accidentally some chemical Noir in it...

>>28319188
Isn't that a good thing in the Officio system? Means she'll last longer and bring in more $$$.

>>28319208
But Mako has Literally no edges, what is perfectly round can have no despair

>>28319214
Not really. Mako tends to be kidnapped a lot. Cue rescue missions.

>>28319228
YFW Malal is currently rescuing Mako

>>28319248
I'm sorta hoping its Olivia from Godhand

>>28319227
Eh, I don't see her as such a 1D character. She sure is pretty tough, but holds dearly to her family and friends.

>>28319188
>>28319227
>Not expecting any kind of Gainax or Urobochi twist
My fucking sides

>BIO: The fledgling protégée of the Spiritual Liege of the Seventh, though apparently they’re not a whole lot alike. She’s got a sort of difficult personality, but a kind and easygoing nature. (See? I said it, so we’re even.) Supposedly her training involves wandering the world helping magical girls achieve their dreams, or something. The whole thing sounds even more like using candy to lure little kids into a van than most magical girl stuff, though…

What was the 7th special for, again?

>>28319280
Going from the Spiritual Liege thing,SPEHHSS MAHREEENNSSSSSS

>>28318870 >>28318863 >>28318896 >>28318926

While you're pretty sure that Schpeltiger has something in it to help you blow the punknaught to Narnia - Nicole had always been a believer in hiding weapons inside anything you own, just for contingency's sake - you're a bit pressed for time, here. The motorcycle trying to keep ahead and out of the punknaught's range of fire is already in a bad way, and it's not going to be much longer before it decides to explode and make a charred Magical Girl out of its rider.

And you can't be having with that, can you?

Pulling yourself down low as much as you can, you brace against Schpeltiger before twisting the throttle all the way back - and it's with a deafening roar that the two-wheeled monster of a motorbike between your legs all but explodes forward. Aiming for the space between the punknaught's escorts and the punknaught itself.

...And it's here that you remember just how you loved this monster. Despite how temperamental it usually was, and how it guzzled petrol, it controlled like an absolute dream. Sure, Nicole had customized it a lot to her own preferences, but even then it always felt like the machine knew what you were about to ask of it moments before you actually do, and did it perfectly every time. This time is no exception - Schpeltiger's brutish bulk slipping in between the tank-like monstrosity and its side-riders with a silk smoothness that you swear it was possessed.

And you manage to do it so quickly that, in fact, you hear the gangers shouting at each other about 'some weedy git on a big white krumpy skoota' moments after you've shot past them.

And it's only mere moments after that they started to shoot - scattered gunfire that mostly missed except for a few, scoring Schpeltiger a few dings on its rear fender. You wince at that, but you can always just leave Nicole an address to send the repair bill to.

Kyuubey's Office would do just nicely.

[1/2]

>>28319304
>some weedy git on a big white krumpy skoota
>fighting against orkz
>20XX
>shiggy waaagh diggy
Now I feel bad.

>>28319304

one of the advantages of being a sparkly, foot the bill back to the officio!

obviously Malal hasn't realised that Nico does worse on a regular basis.

>>28319304
WE DENTED IT
YOU DUN GOOFED
WE SHOULDA BLOWN EM TO BITS, YA BUNCH OF HIPPY PACIFISTS

>>28319304

With you gunning the throttle wide open, it's only a matter of seconds until you catch up with the beleaguered rider and her dying ride - the smoke coughing from its engine now thicker, denser, a sure sign that it was on its last legs. You pull up beside the bike, as close as you can manage, and offer one hand towards the girl who's only minutes away from becoming one with the road.

"Come with me if you want to live!" You bark at her, the vox completely ruining your Arnold impression.

The girl merely blinks at you for one long moment - as if unsure of trusting you or not - before nodding as she reaches out to your offered hand. Her fingers closing around your wrist in a cold, tight death grip.

You pull her off her stricken ride and onto the back seat - and just in time, too. Even before her ass had settled onto the spacious passenger seat of Schpeltiger, the motorcycle explodes in a brilliant display of detonating fuel and spare parts. Pelting Schpeltiger with bits and pieces, the shrapnel miserably pinging against the bike's reinforced chassis.

The girl lets out a saddened cry at this, clearly not at all pleased with the development...but hey, at least she didn't go down with it, right? That's always a positive in your book.

Just as you're about to ask her if she's alright, the guttural roar of ten engines straining to work together in concert behind you drown out all sound in a huge, deafening blast. You take a quick look back to see that the punknaught, despite its huge bulk and shit-all acceleration, it's actually catching up. Same goes for its escorts - and you could see them swinging their spiked chains in preparation.

What do you do?

[]Use the Nitro to get the fuck out of there.
[]Grenades? Grenades! Schpeltiger's got to have a few somewhere, or Nicole is a dildo.
[]Ask the girl you rescued if she has anything she could use to help lose the punknaught.

>>28319332
To be fair, the 'Tiger is normally invincible, being unharmed by collisions into solid concrete at 200 miles an hour.

>>28319337
>[X]Use the Nitro to get the fuck out of there.
>[X]Grenades? Grenades! Schpeltiger's got to have a few somewhere, or Nicole is a dildo.
Lets leave them a farewell present.

>>28319337
>[X]Use the Nitro to get the fuck out of there.

as long as we dont need to turn we should be golden.

>>28319337
[X]Ask the girl you rescued if she has anything she could use to help lose the punknaught.
then
[X]Use the Nitro to get the fuck out of there.

Slow them down and then get the fuck out of dodge.

>>28319337
[x]Use the Nitro to get the fuck out of there.
Fuck 'em. We have a job to do.

>>28319337
[x]Grenades? Grenades! Schpeltiger's got to have a few somewhere, or Nicole is a dildo.
[x]Ask the girl you rescued if she has anything she could use to help lose the punknaught.
We're going to want to save the Nitro, I can feel it.

>>28319337
>[x] Use the Nitro to get the fuck out of there.

>>28319340
which is more than one can say for Travis himself.

>>28319337
>[x]Grenades? Grenades! Schpeltiger's got to have a few somewhere, or Nicole is a dildo.
Does this thing even have Nitro?

>>28319337
[X]Grenades? Grenades! Schpeltiger's got to have a few somewhere, or Nicole is a dildo.
Give them the fucking lemons

>>28319337

[X]Grenades? Grenades! Schpeltiger's got to have a few somewhere, or Nicole is a dildo.

if we slow down the Punknaught the rest will probably do so as well.

>>28319337
>[]Use the Nitro to get the fuck out of there.
>[]Grenades? Grenades! Schpeltiger's got to have a few somewhere, or Nicole is a dildo.

Can't just leave without a parting gift can we? After all they even gave us bullets when we passed by.

>>28319337
[x]Grenades? Grenades! Schpeltiger's got to have a few somewhere, or Nicole is a dildo.
then
[x]Use the Nitro to get the fuck out of there.

>>28319346
This

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>>28319337
>[X]Use the Nitro to get the fuck out of there.
We can't just kill the orkz!

>>28319364
Nicole told us she topped it up just last thread.

Yes, it has Nitro.

The canon Schpeltiger is notable for basically two traits. 1. It is indesructible. 2. It is very fast.

Apparently the Noirverse version probably also has hidden weapons.

>>28319337

>[x]Use the Nitro to get the fuck out of there.

This seems to be the better option. If the girl had anything she would have used it already and trying to find the grenades would take to long as we have no idea where they are.

>>28319380
Orkz are made for killing though

>>28319380
>>28319387
Indeed.

Arguably it would be rude not to.

>>28319387
>>28319391
Orkz are made for fightin and winnin but this tub is just too cool to blow up! If we leave it, we can loot it later.

>>28319394
a few grenades probably won't stop a Punknaught, but they should deal with it's escorts/scouts quite nicely, and the debris should serve to cover a quick turn off the road.

>>28319337
>>28319346
[x] Farewell present is a go

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>>28319405
Just keep the 'Naught alive. I can see us needing a steel plow to get out of this city at the end of it all and there's nothing cooler than manning a giant destruction engine with your nakama and just forging a path with fire and steel.

>>28319431
>a steel plow
Malal is riding one.

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>>28319445
It's not her's, we can't use it for the trip back home. Plus, tanks > motorcycles. And For landships that goes doubly so!

>>28319457
But when we leave the city, we'll want to do it fast.
Tanks and landships aren't known for their speed. Bikes are.

>>28319457
Does it have enough armor to stop a bullet?

It looks pretty patched up.

>>28319464
Riding a landship is amazing in itself. The awesomeness quota makes up for it.

>>28319457
We don't need to use it for the trip home: We've got an evac plan in place - we just need to make it there in time.

Also, you're really underestimating how awesome the Schpeltiger is. And this is coming from the anon who called it an oversized Sinclair C5 in the last thread.

I think it looks dumb, but right here and now, it's probably the best possible company Malal could have asked for.

>>28319466
Pukey is breaking the 4th wall! Help mom!

>>28319478
What is it referencing again?

>>28319493
No More Heroes

>>28319506
Ahh, thanks anon!

>>28319478
Just because it's called the Schpeltiger doesn't mean it's got the indestructibility of the Schpeltiger.

We're for example not a chaos god of nothing, and Kharn isn't a space marine champion of Khonre.

>>28319523
>Just because it's called the Schpeltiger doesn't mean it's got the indestructibility of the Schpeltiger.
it's holding up pretty well.

Plus it's got fucking Malal driving it. Chaos God of Nothingness got nothing on Noir Malal.

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>>28319274
>such a 1D character

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>>28319523
But we got Slanesh in our hat

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>>28319340
>To be fair, the 'Tiger is normally invincible, being unharmed by collisions into solid concrete at 200 miles an hour.

Is is made out of Katana, aka the hardest metal known to man?

>all these tweets from NECO

Looks like the cat's doing some work for a change.

>>28319604
>saving a thumbnail

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>>28319638
They dont't think it be like it is, but it do

>>28319636
How the fuck is she chasing anyway, she'd need like, both a helicopter and a time travel machine since this is a fucking flashback.

>>28319636
Fucking cat etc
At least we got profiles.

>>28319656
By the power of cats, you philistine.

>>28319666
fucking mutant space cats

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>>28319208
>>28319227
>>28319274
>>28319583
>Implying Mako isnt the best LaKill

>>28319680
Now you're getting it.

>"...I met Cooldown a couple of times, too, and my American contact was pretty good friends with her. she sounded like she could have bee nice"
>bee nice
>bee

Shitty Cat has a shitty grammar checker.

It's ok NECO I still love your truth-telling

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>>28319682
>implying implicatons that were not implied

>>28319656
Looking back over the past tweets, it sounds like NECO was friends with Malal and she's reminiscing.

>>28319730
>it sounds like NECO was friends
there's at least one writeup that confirms exactly that.

>>28319713
140 characters I just cut out the least important one

>>28319626
Nah, the bodywork is an amalgam of nintendium and nokium, the metal gears are made of katana still though

>>28319740
But you could have contracted it to' could've been nice'.

>>28319740
Ellipses are more important than spelling?

Tut tut.

>>28319775

this pleases me greatly.

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>>28319770
bees are cool i just like talking about them okay

>>28319778
beelipses

>>28319775
Chiaki doesn't look right in the school uniform. But the bubbles help...

>>28319792
>>bees are cool i just like talking about them okay
>bothered by lesbian butt buddies
>posts picture of creepy bee lady

>>28319794
I think thats her MG outfit.

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>>28319792
>creepy bee lady
KILL IT WITH FIRE

>>28319826
Can't confirm since we can't see the cigarette/bottle of Kong.

>>28319816
Bees are clearly the enemy of lesbian butts.

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>>28319775
>>28318666
I like it.

>>28319816

earlier she posted about Xiaomei being married to a girl without seeming to be bothered by it, maybe she just has trouble picturing Malal and Touchdown together as a couple?

>>28319869
pretty sure she meant it creeped her out that Wendy kept been mentioned post-mortem and Malal said Nicole and Wendy were together.

>>28319826
Hatguy's really experienced with drawing her magical girl outfit the right way, and that's nothing like it so it's pretty obvious it's her schoolgirl uniform.

>>28319853
>sting on the butt
Sitting and sleeping on your back would be a nightmare.
On the other hand, lying down on your stomach instead WOULD facilitate lewd...

>>28319816
going from the tweet before that I think it just meant that Wendy creeped her out not that it was the lesbian part that creeped her out

>>28319896
so what you're saying is that bees are lesbian shippers.

(This thread badly needs an infusion of Decu.)

>>28319886

hmm, I completely miss read those tweets and thought it said MalalxTouchdown.

whoops.

>>28319794

I've wanted to draw Chiaki in school uniform for a while now and this was as good an excuse as any!

>>28319913
You've got me curious now, though.

What was the scuttlebutt on Malal's sleeping arrangements, Neco? Culexus orgies?

>>28319931
I'll never tell.

Malal, sleeping with anyone? ...maybe.

>>28319945
it'd better not have been you, cat.

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>>28319958

>>28319945
I'm not asking who she was sleeping with. I'm asking what the rumours were.

There's no way there aren't some creepy rumours surrounding the Culexus, and I'm betting there's zero truth in most of em too.

Those suits are practically designed to encourage stupid rumours.

>>28319958

well, NECO is a normal person and those are much less affected by a Culexus aura.

there is a possibility.

M-maybe that is why Kharn witched out?

>>28319958
It was Kharn.

"Malal, I had a bad dream. Can I sleep in here tonight?"

"...fine."

decu pls

>>28319980
Nyahaha! Try asking after the thread, I don't think that's in my jurisdiction (nya).

>>28319856
NECO's Assistant?
Or little sister?

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>>28319968
why

>>28319995
>Kharn all bashful around Malal
>ONLY all bashful around Malal

Goddamnit, MGNQ, why do you do this to me?

>>28320005
>Nyahaha! Try asking after the thread, I don't think that's in my jurisdiction (nya).
stupid scuttlebutt about magical girls isn't your juristiction?

>>28320008
>has a hat
>might be the assistant
So Hatchan.

>>28320018
demons when

>>28319995
Oh god I can picture this like the "are you malal" drawing

Kharn looking all scared and cute hugging a pillow poking Malal on the shoulder while Malal is in her bed

>>28320025
Malal was to Kharn as Mami is to Murderface.

We've drawn the parallel before.

>>28319346 >>28319348

"I don't mean to sound presumptuous here," The girl currently riding bitch behind you says. "...but our pursuers are catching up. I don't suppose you have a plan?"

Well, of course you've got a plan. You've always got a plan for everything.

You just, you know, have to think of it first. And then you'll have it.

"..." The girl you just rescued falls silent, before nodding. "Understood. My life is in your hands, Miss. My thanks for rescuing me. " It's here that you feel both her arms worm their way around your waist, locking together there.

...Heh. Guess this means you owe Xiaomei lunch, then. There's no mistaking that accent, with that calm, knightly dignity.

Putting Schpeltiger on Autopilot, you glance down at the various buttons and toggles on the dash. ...Fuck, Nicole added a lot to this thing since the last time you saw it. Some of the switches you're not even sure what they're for - and is that a self destruct button right at the middle? Nah, couldn't be. Nicole isn't that crazy.

...

No, wait, she is. Nevermind.

It's only a few more moments of searching that you find it, one labeled 'Caltrop Bombs', just beside the button for 'Napalm', and just above the toggle for 'Beer'.

Nicole, you crazy son of a bitch.

You jab a finger down on the button, and it's here that you hear something open up underneath Schpeltiger with brief mechanical whirrs. A moment later, and the almost musical sound of a dozen spiked grenades dropping onto the asphalt and rolling away reaches your ears, making you grin behind your faceplate.

[1/2]

>>28320045

At the same time, you flick the metal covering of the Nitro Boost button to the side, before resting your thumb over the revealed crimson square.

"...What were those?" The girl behind you asks. "Wait, don't tell me--"

The grenades exploding behind you in quick succession - atomizing the escorts and severely hamstringing the punknaught barrelling after you - cuts her off, and you couldn't help but cackle here. God damn, Nicole. You were expecting a cache of grenades, maybe, but not grenades like that. If anything, it reminded you of the girl's resourcefulness as an assassin - and the bloody-minded brutality she colored every project of hers with.

"Just something to get them off our tail," You tell the girl. "Hold on tight, because I'm about to do something even more stupid."

"...Very well." You hear her grumbling underneath her breath. ...No, no, she's not grumbling. She's praying. To someone called Lady Octavia Seckendorff, the First Knight?

Ah. One of them religious types. Figures.

You shake your head, and press down hard on the Nitro Boost button.

A shrill, mechanical whine, Schpeltiger letting out a digitized lion's roar - and you barely manage to let out a scream as the entire thing blasts forward, the world disappearing into one blur.

NO. WAIT. IT WASN'T SUPPOSED TO BE THIS FAST.

JESUS CHRIST WHAT

...

NICOLE GOD DAMMIT WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO

WHAT THE FUCK

[2/3]

>>28320054
>Octavia

Welp Sayaka Prime did something at some point

>>28320054

I... wow.

>>28320054
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xnTyqig1R7I

GOTTA GO FAST.

>>28320027
Make sure Chiaki asks when she gets the chance.

You know. During the date.

>>28319931
>>28319980
>>28319994
>>28319995
>>28320025

I dunno, but in the Kharn` Flashbacks did feel to me like there was more than just Friendship from Malal`s Side while Kharn was rather oblivious to it.

>>28320054

Five minutes of the most intense, ass-clenching motorcycle riding you've ever experienced in your life later - the girl you rescued silent as a grave throughout the entire thing, even when you shouted that you didn't know how to stop - and you see a sign telling you that you're almost at Asian Town. A few minutes more, and you see the city loom up, the gawdy dragons at the gate and the pagoda-style roofs a dead giveaway.

You drive into the city more or less in one piece. Schpeltiger seems to be none the worse for wear as well, but the fuel gauge's nearing empty, so you'll need to refuel before setting out. The Nitro gauge's reading much more favorably - you have two out of three charges left, at least.

Thankfully, there's a petrol station by Asian Town's entrance, so you make for that. The station's attendants don't seem to particularly care what kind of customers ride in, just the money they pay with. That suits you just fine, and you tip generously for a full tank.

It's here, while you wait for Schpeltiger to get refueled, that you finally get a look at the girl you rescued. She's...a bit casually dressed, wearing a black leather jacket with the sleeves rolled up, and black denim short shorts. Her black hair, cut short in a rather masculine bob cut, is held out of her eyes with a pair of goggles serving as a hair band of sorts. She's got boots, too - tough, steel-toed ones you usually use for construction work.

But what you notice now - and you're not sure how you didn't notice it before - is how her right arm, from her fingers up to halfway her shoulder, is mechanical. Literally robotic, out of polished steel. And it's not made to look like anything human, either - it seems to be deliberately oversized from the rest of her, out of proportion enough to be intimidating.

...Certainly nothing like the knight you imagined. You were expecting something more...grand, you suppose. More suit-of-armor like.

[3/4]

>>28320031

If you've ever spoken to NHG, you know there's already a dead ringer in the quest

Hatguy is Mami

>>28320070
BITCH
PLEASE
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=doEwWzMz99A

>>28320054
I TOLD YOU DAWG
I TOLD YOU ABOUT DAT SCHPELTIGER

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>>28320054
>Lady Octavia Seckendorff, the First Knight
SAYAKA
YOU GLORIOUS THING

>>28320082

Well, anyway. You've still got some time to kill before Schpeltiger gets refueled, and she looks like she needs someone to talk to. ...You can still remember how she cried out when her motorcycle got trashed.

Nobody deserves to have their ride blow up like that. It's like seeing a war buddy die right in front of you.

How do you start your conversation with the girl you rescued?

>>28320100
Well that was certainly fast

>>28320100
[x] Put a hand on her shoulder. "I'm sorry for your loss."

>>28320100
[x] Whatcha doing here?

>>28320054
>Lady Octavia Seckendorff, the First Knight
So Blueberry is either fated to become the First Knight or there is a witch of hers running around already being one. Now we have to find out the identity of the Blood Knight.

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>>28320100

Get some fuel from the pump in a can.

Ask her for the ride's name.

Pour a drink for the recently departed.

>>28320086
not
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Hs-SxiWXS8Y

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>>28320082
Cyborg Youmu?

No wait.

THIS IS FUCKING YUU BEFORE SHE GOES FULL BLACK ROCK SHOOTER OTHERSELF

>>28320100
[X]Get some non shady or alcoholic drinks from the station "Hey, Sorry about your bike, what was it's name?"

I propose a toast to the bike which gave it's all to keep her owner out of harms way.

>>28320117
not fast enough

>>28320129

Yuu's Officio wad the Seventh, not the Second.

Try again

>>28320100
[x] These two
>>28320105
>>28320137

>>28320113
If Sayaka is the First Knight, then Kyoko's obviously the Blood Knight.

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>>28320054
>>28320070
>>28320086
>>28320117

YOU ARE ALL WRONG! THIS IS THE RIGHT GO-FAST THEME!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JYjomxUFvS8&feature=relmfu

>>28320100
[x] condolences for the destroyed bike, followed by introductions.

>>28320143
But it has the necessary metal for Malal and Schpeltiger

Though I was actually looking for a diferent track, but I can't remember the name. It's been a while since i listened to the NMH soundtrack

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>>28320161
>that picture
>not this song every single time
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8i6anTAQqnw
BABABABABABAAAAAAAAAAD

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>not pic related

Deculture, wah...

>>28320179
not
fast
enough

>>28320196
You're obviously not bad enough to ride.

>>28320184
We already have her. Wendy did a writeup on her at some point and I think she even was from the 2nd.

>>28320100
[x] "You got a ride out? Mine's really only meant for two, and I'm picking up a passenger."

>>28320204

Oh, I must have missed that one. Thanks!

>>28320179
Hows this for go fast theme?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FTJ-z9As2dI

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>>28320204
Should be AKMSA Ch. 1 on the pastebin. Chapter 2 coming soonish.

>>28320228
Best Seibah

>>28320222
man, I forgot how much I loved this game and it's soundtrack.

Might be time to dig out the Wiimote.

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i already have her profile written

i just sit and i read it again and again sometimes

and i run my tongue along the supple curves of its form

it is mine and mine alone

>>28320266
maybe I'll even get around to playing Desperate Struggle this time.

>>28320268
...

Gentlemen, I believe we should return to the good old policy of shooting first, asking questions later.

>>28320268
Your kneecaps are mine.

>>28320268

Okay, I took the bait.

>>28320268
Yeah, well, Malal is dead and it's probably your fault. So there.

>>28320072
>implying the only questions won't be from golden Deagle.
wear body armour, cat. You're going to need it.

Don't both with knee armour those. Those kneecaps are forfeit.

>>28320299
>probably
According to the latest study, the damned cat is responsible for us not being able to have nice things.

>>28320326
You know if we do that both Sayaka and Mami would be very disappointed in us
Near lethally disappointed

>>28320336
For what, filling the suspicious bush with lead and napalm? It's not like we could have known what was inside.

>>28320336
soooooooooooooooo worth it.

We've done plenty professional lately. We're off the clock now.

>>28319844
>cartridges being ejected, not casings
JAPAN

>>28320369
MURRICA and it's horde of raving gun-nuts

>>28320377
I'm South African

>>28320369
Hey
Hey buddy
no one fucking cares...

>>28320369
>Not firing the whole thing
>Missing out on 65% of each bullet

>>28320383
oh, god. I'm so sorry for you.

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>>28320268

KILL THE FUCKING CAT!

>>28320386
The same could be said of all nerd-nitpicking

>>28320389
MORE BULLET PER BULLET

>>28320430
Generally that is true I am just not paying attention all the time to remind people that their autism is showing

>>28320394
It's not that bad. Our government is corrupt and shitty, but in a cartoony Saturday morning cartoon villain way. They're Stupid Evil and easy to ignore. Everything else about the country is actually pretty okay

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>>28320430
YOUR WORDS ARE AS EMPTY AS YOUR SOUL

>>28320466
Aside from the violence and crime you mean? Shitloads of south Africans move over to australia because they bitch about how bad it is

>>28320466
>implying I wasn't going to say the same thing irrespective of your actual country of origin

>>28320470
WHAT IS A NERD?
*throws gameboy*
A MISERABLE PILE OF ANIME

>>28320481
The violence and crime is mostly in the townships. Stay out of there, and it's actually really safe, 'cause everyone's packing heat and there's 24/7 private security companies that patrol and shit.

Except for Gauteng, but sensible people have long since abandoned that for the relative peace of other provinces.

>>28320481
It speaks volumes about how bad it is that they they move to an ex-penal colony to get away from it.

>>28320506
I couldn't really say, all I know is what the large amount of migrants have told me

>>28320508
An ex-penal colony full of snakes, spiders, crocodiles, sharks, octopi, kangaroos, platypi, velociraptors and all that other crazy lethal shit.

>>28320526
>no mention of drop-bears

>>28320535
Christ, how could I forget the drop-bears.

>>28320526
>>28320508
Funnily enough we turned that shitty penal colony into a pretty nice place overall, lots of people seem to think so anyway

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Somebody ran my drawing through a filter.

I'm dying here.

I need this.

>>28320508
>>28320481
Also, the people who move to Australia are reactionary faggots who get scared at shadows and run away the instant things seem to change for the worse.
>BEE
easily circumvented
>crime
Not that bad, especially for the people who left for Australia
>government
As I said, Stupid Evil.

You'd be an idiot to leave SA, unless it's for Botswana, which is basically SA but better.

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>>28320550
>nerve struck

>>28320558

hail the lord of gray-scale!

>>28320526
Funny, the thing that scares me about Australia the most if the lack of games. And spiders too, I guess.

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But is the motorcycle also a horse gundam?

>>28320576
>the thing that scares me about Australia the most if the lack of games
oh, fuck. How did we forget about the Yahztee?

Between the Yahtzee and the drop-bears, we wouldn't last five minutes out there.

>>28320576
The thing that scares me most about Australia is that laser pointers are prohibited weapons.

Wait no, that's the thing that amuses me most about Australia

>>28320584
>laser pointers are prohibited weapons
Huh. Never knew that. Well, at least they still have their butterfly knives.