>>28290654
>[] Dick (not for long as I don't trust any of you)

>>28290747
>>28290747
I expected this

>>28290654
>[] Dick
We get to actually play as him? Oh happy day!

>>28290893
not for very long however

>>28290954
Awww....

>>28290963
I have plans with him, that can't be meddled with.

>>28290982
...But we have plans for him as well. We never did have that wedding at the train nexus.

>>28291022
Justice is still very pissed off at Dick

>>28291046
Hence the need to fix things. And considering how terribly he tends to treat her while you're in control...

>>28291087
All he did was get basically kidnapped by jack of blades. Of course Justice saw it as him leaving her in her own personal hell as she couldn't hear him

>>28291115
Well then he should get on plotting to free her. Plus, I think he'd find it hilarious if Jack thought he was getting the queen of blades when he's actually getting justice.

>>28290982
Can't say I'm happy with that, considering I like playing as him the most. Oh well, enjoy it while it lasts and all that.

>>28290893
You are Dick Dastardly, one of many third dastardlys, and you are so very bored. This jack fellow seems to prefer to bide his time instead of going out a wrecking havoc with wild abandon, not to mention the minions he gave you are more boring than watching grass grow, you aren't even sure what they are, they look like machine men, and you hate machine men, ever since that steaming summer night in cuba.
Other than that slight annoyance, everything is fine, well except for one thing.Your "son", He's out there, defiling the dastardly name, saving people and being a yourself damned hero. I mean if it wasn't for that he'd be the perfect henchman, and you've always wanted to run Bethany and sons train company, but no, the multiverse decided to dick you over.
"Your move Knight" Jack says sipping on a cup of tea. Oh and you're playing this worlds poor version of chess, you have no idea how it works.
What do you do
[] try to lose in one move
[] try to win
[] flip the table
[]other

Rolled 3

>>28291277
>[] other
open void and blow up world

>>28291277
>[] try to win
Also, mention that you might have an inkling of where the queen might be or at least, where she was. We might want to get her out sometime soon, otherwise she might be angry at us, And an angry Justice-er Queen of blades could be rather painful. Also, we're bored, and romantic kidnapping would be just the ticket. Now what was the hosts name...Astraia? Something like that.

>>28291369
...No. Also, don't roll unless called for
>>28291388
Much better, and more IC. Dick wouldn't deliberately blow up the world.

>>28291388
and you just gave me an idea

>>28291388
Oh yeah, Jack was The Queen's bitch wasn't he. He probably would not enjoy explaining why he decided to leave her stuck in a hero.

>>28291277
>[]other
Draw a tiny mustache on the king and then move a random piece while grinning like a madman.

>>28291465
its a three way tie unless
>>28291407
counted as a vote

>>28291454
I did try to make sure I limited it to what he knew. Also, dick is totally gong to make Astraia his evil understudy, at least until MR Fritz shows up/

>>28291506
It was.

>>28291506
Well, >>28291465 can be combined with >>28291388

I just figured the only way to win a game you don't know jack about is moving random stuff.

>>28291553
>don't know jack
Pun intended?

>>28291572
If you haft to axe, it probably is.

>>28291388
>>28291465
You draw a tiny mustache on what you think is the king and think about throwing the game. Before you realize you are yourself and you've never been one to give up, especially while in cuba. And this world is shitty enough to be the multiverse version of cuba. You move a......thing. Jack's eyes grow wide. He moves a....a...is that a dick? You don't know. You grab what looks like strange mixture of a woman and axe and move it, only for Jack to glare at you until you move it correctly. He moves a....why does he have a statuette of Miss Smiths grandmother? No matter you move a crown shaped tree, or perhaps its some kind of pasty
roll 1d100

Rolled 33

>>28291631

Rolled 78

>>28291631
rollin

Rolled 25

>>28291631
DICE FOR THE DICE MYSELF!

File: 1384474045204.jpg-(794 KB, 2084x1636, mara.jpg)

794 KB JPG

Rolled 57

>>28291631
>a....a...is that a dick

A dick you say?

>>28291674
You move it and jack chuckles to himself.
"It appears I have captured the pie" He says moving what looks like a set of teeth to the piece you just moved. Ok seriously, what kind of mad fucker made this game, I mean the rules just change, and what the hell are the pieces even.
"Even after all these years you still can't understand the simplest of tactics" Jack says with a laugh as he stands from the chessboard thing in the middle of the very arcane seal thing in the middle of the room. you stare at the chess board, a very familiar anger burning within you.
what do you do
[] toss the peice of shit into the nearby chasm
[] Jack, aren't we supposed to be trying to free...the queen, well I think I know where she is
[] Go torment some minions
[] morn the loss of charlie the skeleton, at the hands of your OWN SON
[] other

Rolled 1

>>28291631

Rolled 93

>>28291766
>[] Jack, aren't we supposed to be trying to free...the queen, well I think I know where she is
Add in "I'd really not prefer to have to deal with her being angry at us for leaving her around.

Rolled 76

>>28291766
>[] other
Chalenge Jack to a dancefight.

Rolled 97

>>28291792
Oh wow, thank Villain I rolled after the fact.
[X] Jack, aren't we supposed to be trying to free...the queen, well I think I know where she is

>>28291792
ahahahaha

>>28291795
Lets do this.
>>28291808
Is the derailing lolrandumb really necessary?

>>28291835
Well, he did just mock us and I cannot thing of another way of fighting him right now.

Normally I would think of a more serious way of beating him, but I am afraid that we aren't exactly in a position of power right now.

We can't let him mock us and walk away with it right? Pretty much everyone that mocked us is dead, maimed or turned into a little girl.

>>28291896
We're planning on having him release justice thinking she's an evil world conquering tyrant. That should suffice for our revenge.

>>28291795
This is so...boring....so yourself damned boring. You sigh and think. This bloke seems to think you're this knight fellow, who's probably currently trapped in the same void that held you, or dead as disco. you assume it's the same with this Queen. However there is one creature that could possibly fit that role, not to mention it would be most hilarious if it works out. Justice is her name. You smile a wicked smile
"Jack aren't we supposed to be trying to free the....queen" You say "well I think I know where she is, and I really don't want to risk her wrath any further". In a moment jack is in front of you again, madness in his eyes.
"WHERE?!" He shouts "WHERE IS THE QUEEN, AND WHY HAVE YOU WITHHELD THIS KNOWLEDGE FROM ME". You sip your tea.
"Because you didn't remember my birthday" You say "and I do beilive its called the heroes guild, in the head of one.....oh what was her name, that lumbering oath always called her twig....Australia black....no Astraia Grey, that was it".
"Come knight" Jack says with a murderous fire in his eyes "We have some heroes to test".

"Wonderful" You say standing up, your vestments swirling around your form like smoke "I'll go get my cane"

Gunther or Vilian?

Rolled 75

>>28291926
Well when she sees us again she might just be a world conquering tyrant.

>>28291926
>release justice thinking she's an evil world conquering tyrant.
In a sense that wouldn't be wrong.

>>28291977
>Gunther or Vilian?
Gunther.

>>28291986
>>28292008
Willing to bet he'll still suffer from buyer's remorse.

>>28292008
is everyone ok with being gunther?

>>28292147
sure.

>>28291977
Gunther.

This is going to be good.

>>28292207
Gunther X Justice is going to be comedy gold.

Is it me or is /tg/ a bit unstable right now?

>>28292008
You are Gunther Dastardly. And you are currently angrier than you've ever been before. A year ago you might have gone on a murderous spree, and still might.
(if you must kill, kill some bandits, they aren't really people)
"I'VE KILLED ALL THE BLOODY BANDITS FOR MILES, THEY ARE ALL FUCKING DEAD" You scream.
(Really? can't you go to other places, isn't that what heroes in this world do?)
"I would, but there is a slight problem" You say "Astraia, she's been acting strange".
(Well she isn't exactly right in her head)
"Shut up" You say as you walk through the moonlit gardens of the guild "I mean she tried to burn Whisper alive, not that I care, but still"
(I thought you were friends with her brother)
"I am" You say nodding "he's just a tad...pushy, mainly because he has it in his mind I fancy her"
(She is quite beautiful)
"She's also an prideful egotistical ass" You say "I mean really, we went on one job together and she tried to hog all the credit, and gold".
(A heroes duty is paid in gratitude, not material wealth)
"I need gold to by food, which I need to live" You explain looking up at the sky. Oh look a shooting star...wait why is it getting bigger, and what's that horrible noise, sounds vaguely familar. Oh avo its heading right towards you.
"WHAT THE BALLS IS THAT!" You shout.
(that my dear gunther would be a sky bound train).
"That's a train, huh I always thought it would be a sword of some kind" You say.
(Aren't you to least bit concerned that its heading right for the guild?)
"Not realLLAYAYAYAYAY AVO DAMN AVO DAMN" You shout clutching your head "damn you justice, damn you to skorm".
(DO something)
What do you do
[] ehh fuck it going for a walk roll1d100 to resist the pain
[]Try to intimidate the train with your abs roll1d100
[] PUNCH IT IN THE FACE roll1d100
[] other

Rolled 18

>>28292381
>[] ehh fuck it going for a walk roll1d100 to resist the pain

>>28292381
>[] other
Drink the voice away.

Rolled 92

>>28292446
forgot my roll

Rolled 18

>>28292381
[X] ehh fuck it going for a walk roll1d100 to resist the pain. Maybe find a drink along the way.

File: 1384477220438.gif-(1.73 MB, 400x225, 1384227505244.gif)

1.73 MB GIF

>>28292459
>>28292459
Oh god dammit

Rolled 2

>>28292489
Did I ruin your plan again?

>>28292503
No just killed my sadism boner

Rolled 19

>>28292510
Is it me or did it get lonely in here suddenly? Did /tg/ die?

>>28292486
"No...I still don't give a single shit about this avo damned place" You say walking out of the garden and towards the slowly regrowing forest "And besides its not like that thing would kill anyone important".
(DO. SOMETHING.NOW)
"I....grow...used...to pain" You say gritting your teeth as the feeling of a thousand nails stabbing into your head tries to force you to obey.
(Please?)
"No" You say clutching you head as a slight chill turns into a near mind shattering cold.
(It might hit astraia)
"She may not have eyes, but she can still see, somehow" You say before muttering under your breath "Avo damned will users".
(I heard that)
"I know" you says as you observe a frog hoping along. It really is nice here in this forest you and twig destroyed, so peaceful, so serene
and was that a bloodcurdling scream you just heard.
What do you do
[] fuck, some ones getting mugged and I'm not the mugger
[] Dammit greggory stop being a bitch
[] ignore it
[] look at the general direction of the noise
[] other

>>28292597
not as far as I can tell

Rolled 88

>>28292655
[] look at the general direction of the noise

And get our axe out.

>>28292671
/tg/ kept shitting out error 10 minutes ago for me.

>>28292707
It seems a bit lonely in this quest however

>>28292655
[X] Look at the general direction of the noise.

>>28292747
Would you rather we talk about ways of being a hero and making massive profit at the expense of the people between voting?

>>28292655
>[] look at the general direction of the noise

>>28292707
going with this

>>28292794
Maybe

Rolled 18

>>28292794
>making massive profit at the expense of the people

Real estate?

>>28292817
Or by becoming the greatest threat known to man. A tax collector.

Rolled 15

>>28292908
Whoa man, even we have standards.

Tax collectors are from a kind of evil far stronger than anything from the Villian line.

>>28292809
You pull your axe from the axe warmer your mother sent you with a letter no one read to you, so you had astraia burn it, though she set you on fire as well. You turn towards the general direction of the noise and see what can only be described as utter chaos given form. A metal monstrosity lays bent and broken in the ground surrounded by fire and rubble. on top of it stand two men, both are wearing robes, One red and one black. One appears to be giving a speech, another is laughing at the hero he is choking out....and the hero is now a little girl, what?
(Oh...oh no).
"What?" You ask "besides that fact that man just turned into a little girl"
(Remember the old voice in your head?)
"the dickish one?" You ask
(Yeah that's him)
"I though he'd be taller, and bigger" You say "He looks like a doll"
(He is well versed in the blackest of arts and is brutal, evil, and charming man)
"Sounds like a pansy" You say as you begin to approach the train.
(He isn't, not at all, but thankfully you aren't one either)
"You know it lass" you say smiling as you ignore a screaming on fire hero. You can hear what they are saying now.
"Hand over the one called Astraia" The red fellow says with a voice like wine.
"Bitch you killed my avo damned flowers" Weaver replies "and are you sure you want her, she's the reason half the guild is on fire".
"She has something we want, old man" The former voice in your head says as he prods a crying little girl who you recognize as the gardener.
"Well then its probably ash now, so leave before I unleash a legendary whooping on your asses" the guild master says.
"Do you think we fear you mortal one?" the red one asks laughing
"You better" Weaver says unusually pissed off, dear avo he sounds like a demon "now fix my garden and give me my gardener back".
"Are you catholic, oh wait they only like little boys" The black robed one says as he tosses the girl in the air, amused by her terror
(stop them)

>>28293035
"Hey, Asshole voice, what do you want with Twig?"

>>28293035
You stare at this sight as your mind works slowly, they want twig, why you don't know, but no one touches twig but you.
(That sounded very crude)
Don't care. Not to mention you're the only one allowed to fuck the garden up. AND OH MY LORD THEY HIT THE BOOZE, NOT THE BOOZE, NOW HOW WILL YOU BE ABLE TO HAVE FUN. You grit your teeth in anger
(Good to see you have your priorities in line)
"Shut up booze is life" You growl
what do you do
[] OI FUCKEADS THAT'S MY JOB
[] Find thunder, tag team these fuck heads
[]Find maze, he'll know what to do.
[] Find Twig
[]other

>>28293102
>[]Find maze, he'll know what to do.

Rolled 97

>>28293102
>[] OI FUCKEADS THAT'S MY JOB

>>28293160
o snap

>>28293102
[X} OI FUCKEADS THATS MY JOB

Rolled 99

>>28293102
>[] OI FUCKEADS THAT'S MY JOB

>>28293208
"OI YOU PISS ANT FUCKHEADS" You shout as you smack your axe into your hand "NO ONE FUCKS UP THAT GARDEN BUT ME!". the robbed men turn to you.
"Wait a second" The black one says "if it isn't Gunther, I though you would've died by now".
"You remember his name?" the red one asked.
"Yeah, kind of hard to with him saying it every time he saw a mirror" the black one said hopping off the train and tossing the gardener away "and I must say I will enjoy this the most of all". In a second he's upon you, hand aimed for your throat. However you have longer arms than he, and you're stronger. Your fist connects with his head with a loud cracking noise accompanied with his head jerking back, followed soon by the rest off him.
(Oh thank me, I didn't want to deal with homicidal little girl again). The man laughs on the ground.
"You know, I was just going to turn you into a little girl as that is never not funny, but now I'm going to rip off your damned legs".
"You're welcome to try" You say standing your ground. The red robed fellow shakes his head.
"Knight, getting beaten by a weakling like this".
(knight? Dick what did you do!)
"He punches like a train, and I would know" Dick says hopping up, pulling out a length of wood from his robes "now have at you, you filthy savage". He charges you and slides a bit of his stick of revealing a blade. He tries to slash at you, but like most other people, he's unusually short, so you put your hand on his head, stopping him in place.
"Oh this is hilarious" you say as you watch him slash at you impotently.
"Choo Choo" He says angrily.
(Really dick? Another train?)
Of sweet merciful fuck its huge.
what do you do
[] dodge roll1d100
[] Take it like a man roll1d100
[] use dick as a shield roll1d100
[] Other

Rolled 67

>>28293412
>[] dodge roll1d100
Choo Choo motherfuckers

>>28293448
this works

Rolled 47

>>28293412
punch him through the train

Rolled 20

>>28293412
>[x] use dick as a shield roll1d100

Rolled 71

>>28293412
>[] dodge roll1d100

>>28293585
hopefully not high enough.

Rolled 40

>>28293412
Headbutt the train

IN THE KNOTHOLE GLADE WAY

>>28293448
"I'm going to dodge it" you says smiling.
(So this is how it ends).
"Dear me your stupider than I remember" Dick says laughing. Oh god its so close, ok just need to jump to the left. Why won't your legs move, jump to the left. Roll at least? Don't fuck with me now legs.
(are you really threatening your legs?). Yes.
(look down). Why.....oh. Black tendrils cover your lower body, holding you in place.
"This is going to hurt" you say with a nervous laugh.
"Adios kid, I am glad I never got to know ya" Dick says with a cruel laugh as he melts out of your hands and hops on top of his train. "CHOOOOOOOO CHOOOOOOO YOU IDIOTIC, CRUDE, WHORESON, I would say see you in hell, but I ain't going back there"
"NO ONE LAUGHS AT ME" You scream as you force your legs to move, breaking the grip of the black things on your legs. That's before you feel a pain unlike any other as you get hit by several tons of metal before getting slammed into a stone wall or three.
Damage: ???

Dick
.....
Before you is the steaming wreckage of a train, under which you assume is the corpse of your "son".
"Was that really necessary" Jack asks.
"Yes it was" you say smiling "now lets go save the queen".
"Aren't you going to check if its dead?" he asks.
"I hit him with a me damned train" You say "if he's still alive I'll eat dirt". Jack glares at you,
"Fine I trust your judgment" He says hopping off the first train "Now weaver, were is Astraia Grey".
"What makes you think I know" The old man says "though if I were to guess I would say burning some poor defencless animal alive.
Wait a tick that doesn't sound like justice...not at all.....fuck.
"Sounds like the queen" Jack says "Knight, deal with this annoyance".
What do you do
[]Hey want to taste youth again
[] Nother train
[] Try and raise gunther, you want a new zombie
[] Minigun.
[] See what happens when you infuse him with your energy
[] other

Rolled 23

>>28293720
[] See what happens when you infuse him with your energy
I am just really curious about the result.

>>28293720
Want to taste youth again?

>>28293720
>[X] Try and raise gunther, you want a new zombie

And if gunther is raised we infuse him with our energy to sick him on the guild master.

File: 1384482555527.gif-(654 KB, 300x126, Do it.gif)

654 KB GIF

>>28293768

Rolled 95

>>28293720
>[x] Try and raise gunther, you want a new zombie

>>28293720
>[] See what happens when you infuse him with your energy
This might be fun.

>>28293792
Ah shit i wasted a good roll >.<

>>28293796
>>28293792
Combine these or wait for a tie breaker?

>>28293825
why not?

>>28293825
combine

>>28293825
yup

>>28293825
"Lets see what happens when I pump you full of my vile juices" You say placing your hand around his mouth.
"Gaaaaaaaay" a voice calls out.
"Have fun playing with the gardener, who ever said that" You laugh "In fact I jut had a thought, Weaver was it, how would this land fair if all of these heroes turn to little children hmm?".
"They're all shit tier" he says "in fact fucking do it, then at least I won't have to keep cleaning up after their avo damned feasts"
"Guildmaster?" a voice says.
"You guys can't kill sparrows" Weaver says "really one of the few useful ones is probably dead" .
"Stop using the guild master as a puppet you monster" one yells.
"Funnily enough I haven't done anything yet" You say.
"Come on, throw yourselves at him" Weaver says "prove me wrong, attack him".
"Shut up" you say as your force your magic into him.
"MMMMMMMMMMMPH" he cries as his eyes turn white as he kicks and flails around as a black and gold substance pours from his nose.
"Gaaaaaaay" a voice calls out once more, far louder and full of itself than last time
"Ok you're going to die" you say "Rise gunther, and feast". Wait a tic, why do you suddenly hear hotblooded music.....is that a....oh dear lord no...its a theme song. And now the train car is flying towards you like a baseball thrown by your mother.
roll 1d100

Rolled 74

>>28293966

Rolled 92

>>28293966

Rolled 3

>>28293966
Like a baseball? How appropriate, lets use our cane as a bat.

>>28293966
Since we're literally a cliched villain we should probably monologue about our brilliant plan about now, though we do need to keep it close to what we told Jack, since he's like five feet from us. On second thought, send him after the girl, then start monologueing

>>28294059
Just got here. Do I have any legitimate way to vote for Dick's permanent death? He always bores me.

Serious question, I started skimming posts when Gunther went down.

>>28294090
possibly

>>28294099
Good.

>>28294090
You'd almost certainly get outvoted, given that Dick seems to be much more popular that Gunther. Though your suggestion seems to be an excellent way to start a massive shitfest.

>>28294090
You do realise that this whole quest started with us controlling Dick right?

>>28294090
>Kill Dick
AHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! no.

>>28294090
>Dick ever kicking the bucket for good.
With his luck I doubt he would ever truely die.

>>28294124
Oh, Gunther got ruined last thread. Might have been salvageable today,mbut he'd already moved too far towards boring over the time skip. The problem I have with Dick is his repetitive nature, which was solved by his dying. Then he got reset and now we have a universe with no lasting negative consequence for your decisions or actions. Which simply does not engage me.

>>28294169
I personally just want Dick to have a happy wedding with his semi willing bride, then we can start over with a new villain. I'm thinking Overlord, that's tailor made for villainous shenanigans.

>>28294130
I do. I didn't bother participating much before he tore open a gaping maw and nearly let it composure the world. Now that he's back I'm sorry that I voted for him to say it with justice instead of staying in character and sacrificing all of our rival gods, one by one, to our ego via the void before Dick himself was consumed.

Would have had him start part two alone, which is a less interesting and less promising premise to me. Thus I would be less disappointed by his current resurrection.

>>28294211
We get married and then kill her so we can continue our villainous ways without her nagging.

>>28294228
The star crossed romance with justice is what I'm in this thread for. I was disappointed by the introduction of Gunther at all. Also, there are other consequences than death.

>>28294257
Or we mold her to our evil ways.

Rolled 26

>>28294211
Or Dio from Jojo bizarre adventure.
Perhaps even Dagoth Ur from morrowind.
Or even...Garland from FF1.

>>28294020
You move slightly to the left, hearing a great splash and feeling a cold wave of water crash into you. Before you is a still living Gunther, without his shirt.....why does he have a wolf man on his chest, its so classless. He stares at you, broken axe still in hand. Jack looks at you with disappointment in his eyes.
"This is why you always double tap, Knight" he says.
"Why aren't you dead?" you ask as you continue to pump magic into Weaver "Well anyways I think you deserve to hear this". Jack looks at you confused.
"FOR YOU SEE WE ARE THE KNIGHT AND JACK OF BLADES" You shout stretching yours arms out from each other "THE TRUE RULERS OF THIS WORLD, PAST, PRESENT, AND FUTURE". Gunther takes and unsteady step forward.
"and you see your little friend Astraia has something we want, namely the queen of blades, who is far mightier than either of us" You yell, holding back vomit at the thought of being below another being "all we ask is you hand her over so that we may more effectively rule you savages, hell I might even spare you if you do". Then you see his eyes and know that he truly is your child, such cold fury, such fire.
"Juuuuustice" he groans in a unaccented voice "justice shall be served". Wait that doesn't sound right at all, he should be threatening to rip you limb from limb
Gunther Status: Berserk
"Well....I decided what justice is" You yell "NOT MORTALS LIKE YOU, ONLY A GOD CAN DECIDE WHAT TRUE JUSTICE IS".
"I AHM A GAD OF FURREH AN HATE" He shouts with his usual hard to understand accent.
"Knight deal with him" Jack says walking off "I'll find the queen, I hope you luck, for if I find you defeated, I will show no mercy". You hate him, oh how you hate him, but you need him
Gunther is charging at you with fire in his eyes.
What do you do
[] Train roll1d100
[] Show him the might of a minigun roll1d100
[] Cane battle roll1d100
[] ehh the usual punishment should work roll1d100
[] Bah, Let me show you the power of a real god roll1d100
[] other

>>28294261
What persistent consequences are left aside from the setting change? At this point Dick can theoretically go home, might take some work, but not too much. Seriously, his character is resistant to change, evolution, growth or corruption given his nature. What consequences?

>>28294295
I hope you luck
I didn't realize how strange that sounded until after I posted it

Rolled 70

>>28294295
>Bah, let me show you the power of a god!

Trainmagedon 2.0!

>>28294301
Well most of his useful minions are dead, Fritz and Missy seem to have gone rogue, Viviane is free and stronger after 20 years of freedom. The cottage has new master. Also you kind of fucked that world hard.

Rolled 35

>>28294295
>[] other
Get high in the sky, then rain down minigun death
"I really can't wait for him to find the 'queen of blades' fellow is in for quite the surprise. Justice is not quite what he's expecting."

Rolled 21

>>28294295
>[] ehh the usual punishment should work roll1d100
Lets turn this joke into a farce.

Rolled 67

>>28294295
>[x] Bah, Let me show you the power of a real god roll1d100

Rolled 51

>>28294295
>Cane Battle Royale Roll!

Cane everyone to kingdom come!

>>28294295
>other

We've wasted enough time on him. Tear a hole in reality and throw him into the void!

>>28294327
we are not deliberately destroying the world again.

Rolled 78

>>28294295
>[] Cane battle

Rolled 60

>>28294337
>Also you kind of fucked that world hard.
Then we can rebuild it as the central trainstation of the multiverse and build a network of planeshifting trains!

Rolled 79

>>28294360
Whoops, dropped a letter in the roll call.

>>28294360
>>28294377
I don't care how high your roll is no throwing him into the void.

>>28294372
Not to mention the only remaining evil god there is the unknowing terror.

Rolled 64

>>28294295
His girl likes fire? I like FIRE.

BURN HIM TO ASH!

>>28294364
>>28294364
Tie between cane battle and going full fuck you I'm a god mode

>>28294390
Sounds like he/she/it/whatever's feeling lonely and could use a new master. And Dick coul use and adorable pet!

>>28294416
It is quite powerful. So very powerful as you sowed a good deal of terror before you left.

Rolled 100

>>28294410
>God Mode
Erase him so we can move on.

Rolling for Gunther to make a deal with the devil. One god of Justice to become a true god of rage.

>>28294410
Lets go with fuck you I'm a god. Along with doing the whole evil gloating about how fucked Jack is. We've been saving that for a WHOLE YEAR.

Rolled 8

>>28294410
so a godly cane whoppin?

File: 1384485525132.gif-(442 KB, 300x257, Brian Blessed 2.gif)

442 KB GIF

>>28294444
>Rolling for Gunther to make a deal with the devil. One god of Justice to become a true god of rage.
Naaana Nananana naaa GOODBYE JUSTICE

>>28294444
...we aren't controlling Gunther right now. You can't just roll for whatever random thing you want.

>>28294444
Hahahahhaha

And you fucks (I mean fine fellows really, but drunk on success right now) said I couldn't give Gunther a chance!

Ahahahahahahahahaha!

>>28294470
Your seriously going to let him roll for Gunther even though we aren't controlling him?

>>28294470

Which is somewhat too bad since I (>>28294477) actually do like Justice quite a bit, but I dislike Dick far more. Happy to screw him over.

>>28294492
Maybe, all I know as that roll is connect to Gunther boy he ain't dead let

>>28294444

confirmed for awesome

>>28294444
No, that is not happening. I vote against that.
>>28294470
what he said >>28294492 especially since people don't want this to happen.

>>28294511
Fine, Justice is still kicking, but so is Gunther.

>>28294511
I dunno, I think I want this to happen. Think of it, eventually the entire family is a totally dysfunctional pantheon. This is just the first (second) step to that.

>>28294492
Don't you understand Anon? We are all the Dastardlys! All of them, all the time! What's limited is only the momentary point of view. Which is why, if I so chose, I could also be rolling for Astraia. She's Dick's daughter after all.

>>28294539
I'll hold a vote on the next post then

>>28294528
Fine by me. Letting people deliberately try to fuck people over will lead hell.

>>28294539
I agree

>>28294539
Letting him kill off justice though? With a single roll?

>>28294572
That isn't called for? Terrible precedent.

>>28294572
We excised a head voice with a single roll. Gunther already has Albion's devil's ear, and the devil wants Justice so. All he has to do is offer the deal and it's done. That's the beauty of my plan.

>>28294572
>>28294604
And think of it this way, both of you. Justice won't really be 'dead' in the strictest sense, oh no. He'll get to chill with Albion's Devil for a bit, maybe chat about the state of affairs and whatnot, and then get free eventually. You can't keep a good villain down and whatnot

>>28294604
Yeah, but you're deliberately and inalienably fucking over a significant portion of the audience who have only expressed desire to wrap up a plotline so we can move on.

>>28294444
"Fuck you" you say as you lash out with far more power than should kill this little shit.
"NO FUCK YOU" He screams charging at you. well you didn't expect him to move.
"Just stand still" You say as he somehow dodges each bolt of vile energy "I am really rusty at hitting a moving target". You grow impatient, and throw the guildmaster at him. You miss, again.
"Really?" You ask "Fine, no more being fair".
Wait a second, you can smell something on the air. two scents, two godly scents.
"Well this is interesting" You say observing the madly screaming Gunther as you try to distinguish the smells from the smothering scent of burning flesh
what do you smell, choose two
[] The hungering rage, or at least something similar to it
[] justice
[] a scent not unlike yours,, except on fire
[] A Horribly clean scent
[] oatmeal cookies? Granny SMITH!!!

>>28294640
...you think I'm not trying to wrap up a plotline?

>>28294664
>[] justice
>[] a scent not unlike yours,, except on fire

Rolled 59

>>28294664
>[] justice
>[] a scent not unlike yours,, except on fire

>>28294664
>[x] oatmeal cookies? Granny SMITH!!!
>[x] A Horribly clean scent

>>28294664
>[X] a scent not unlike yours, except on fire!

Heeeeello Astraia! Father-daughter bonding/murder moment time!

>>28294674
I thought you were trying to wreck the romantic sublot which is the only reason about half of the playerbase is hanging around.
>>28294664
>[] justice
>[] a scent not unlike yours,, except on fire

>>28294444
Looks like god mode got a 100.

Why am I not suprised?

>>28294664
>Hungering Rage
>Me on Fire!

>>28294640
Dont see why justice having a tragic ending isnt wrapping up a plotline.

>>28294712
Besides If Skorm did take justice Its not like I wouldn't put the option for dick to kill Albion's devil.

>>28294707
Oh, and Justice. I wanna see her beat the shit o' her dead beat baby' daddy?

>>28294664
Justice

>>28294734
WAIT, SKORM IS A THING?

>>28294734
So none of these character will ever really die. Wow. I'm starting to feel really manic and destructive. This will be fun.

>>28294776
Yes. But since I don't play fable I forgot that damn name when I rolled. What devil did you think I was sacrificing Justice to?

>>28294803
Wasn't sure honestly, since Skorm was supposedly made up.

>>28294777
If you roll low enough they will die, if you roll high enough they won't

>>28294664
[X] Justice
[X] A scent not unlike yours...except on fire

Oh boy, I can tell Dick is going to like Astraia.

>>28294803
In retrospect I think it would have been better if I'd rolled for Gunther to forcibly take Justice's mantle of godhood for himself. I guess making her a mortal voice in a god's mind would have been more palatable to some of the audience.

>>28294858
Basically, you're sabotaging other members enjoyment and expressed objectives. That way lies repetitive shitstorms. Our audience needs to live and let live or this will become decidedly unfun very quickly.

>>28294843
We and always bring them back and play with them later though, so that doesn't really matter. Brief filler arcs are a punishment, sure, but not enough to restrain me from doing cool things just because they'll probably get someone "killed".

>>28294895
Basically I'm criticizing my lack of consideration for the other player's narrative sensibilities. Still going to roll for whatever I think the Dastardlys should do in character.

Pretty soon I'm going to start rolling for the foppish space pirate to make reality fall. Explosively!

>>28294725
"Justice" You mummer looking at the howling Gunther "You tricky little thing you". You laugh, reality itself voices its protest at the non native divinity in this realm.
"Ain't that a laugh" You say calmly approaching the mad Gunther "Now how about you jump out of that idiots head, I swear I'll be good". Ok that was a good punch son, But I must break you. You try to force your divinty into Gunther, Only to feel a familar sickening sensation, Pure neutrality.
"ARE YOU REALLY PROTECTING THIS SAD EXCUSE FOR A PERSON?" You ask "Oh I do love that bleeding heart of yours, I really really do, but would prefer it to be as black as the void". You hear screaming in the distance.
"UNHAND ME YOU PEASANTS" A feminine voice roars in rage. You turn to see a young woman about as tall as you, Bandages covering her eyes and fire covering everything else.She appears to be destroying the guild, good on her. You sniff the air, tasting the magics. Gunther, the only magic in him is a bit of yours you left behind and that of justice protecting him from you corrupting influence, and the doom he should have felt when you hit him with a you damned train. Then there's that girl, and this confuses you, you can see her filled with magic, like you, and she is quite angry at people messing up her dress, like you.
You stare at your son. He is so very unlike you, so disgusting and crude and to the girl surrounded by flames.
You smile. but then you notice Jack approaching her from behind
What do you do
[] Kidnap the maiden (Astraia)
[] stop jack
[] "save" justice, let these lesser beings deal with jack
[] other

>>28294896
Depends on which universe they die in

>>28295011
>Stop Jack
We might as well kill him first.

Rolled 58

>>28295037
Oh, right. Rolling!

>>28295011
>[X] Kidnap the maiden (Astraia)

We don't need a son when we adopt a daughter.

>>28295011
>Better stop Jack before he picks the wrong Queen!

Death to the Blades!

>>28295011
>[x] "save" justice, let these lesser beings deal with jack

Rolled 28

>>28295011
>[] Kidnap the maiden (Astraia)
MWAHAHAHAHAHA
That lovely little thing shall be our daughter, she is so much like us.

>>28295011
>[] stop jack
"Ugh, fine. Since I found you I suppose I don't need to trick Jack into freeing you so the pair of us can kill him after all. We can beat him up, then force him to free you. How did you end up in this idiot anyway?"

>>28295074
She's already his daughter. Just like Gunther is Justice's son. Where did you think little godlings came from?

>>28295074
Wait....Why not Kidnap Astraia and then kill Jack when he thinks we are on his side helping him out.

>>28295011
>[] stop jack

>>28295110
I don't see why not.

Rolled 53

>>28295011
>[] Kidnap the maiden (Astraia)
In all seriousness, I think she was in fact Dick's daughter the whole time, but she and Gunther got mixed up at Void Hospital so that's why everything is backwards

>>28295110
Yessss. I like this too

>>28295110
lets turn him into a little girl. It's never not funny.

>>28295110
If we manage to make it everyone vs jack he'll go down right quick.
>>28295097
This plus "...Okay, I'll undo the girlification, just this once."

Rolled 21

>>28295011
>other
rolling for Justice to empower Gunther further to save Astraia by blocking the Jack's blade with Dicks body.

>>28295170
What girlification? the gardener?

>>28295172
...Are you trying to kill of Dick. Also, seriously stop rolling for people we don't control. This is going to lead to a level of backstabbing that make the Skaven look loyal.

>>28295110
Can't argue with that. Sounds good to me.

>>28295199
Yeah. We really don't have any reason to fight Justice right now. Plus, we've been saving up our rage for an entire year.

>>28295203
...yes? I want Dick's plotline wrapped up as quickly and satisfyingly as possible.

>>28295222
>saving up rage
What are you talking about? We were finally free of that imbecile! It was amazing until that bastard made us play chess with human hour ago...

>>28295229
lolno, Dick is here for the long game.

>>28295272
Hahhahaha. Good one!

>>28295229
And in the process you'll piss off a significant portion of the posters by killing off the arguably most popular character in a fundamentally undemocratic fashion. If OP were to allow such things things would be horribly abused by trolls.

>>28295286
>>28295229
..wait didn't the guy who did this the first time say he wasn't going to do this anymore?

>>28295333
No, that was another guy. I was sad to see him go.

>>28295229
>>28295286
I do hope you realize what a terrible precedent it would be to kill off a main character with a single uncalled for roll. This story is unstable enough as is.

>>28294640
And now you see why MT is such a shithouse QM
Equal parts lolrandumb and letting a single roll change large parts of the story

>>28295037
"Well I don't need that annoyance anymore" You say to the now passed out Gunther and Justice "But I could trick him, don't worry dear I'll get you out of that idiot, eventually, I swear". You calmly walk over to the Interesting girl.

Astraia
.....
Buuuuurn it all, this place has to burn, its so dirty and uncultured, not to mention its the only thing stooping you from burning more things. You look across the carnage, seeing through you might of will alone, you'll get that bitch back, you'll tear out her eyes, if she even has eyes....not all if was caused by you, someone is trying to steal YOUR VICTORY. You glare at the black robed man as sense something familar about him, no matter, You wanted to bring Gunther low, wipe that stupid smile of his face, MAKE HIM STOP CALLING YOU TWIG, but now he's lying on the ground bleeding. If he's dead you'll burn something, well you'll burn something anyway, but still, you'll burn more things, make this boring world exciting, and far more clean

Gunther
You moan as you struggle to move anything.
"What happened?" You ask through blindly pain
(You got hit by a train, just stay down)
"Oi he's going for twig, have to stop him" You say as you force you arms to push you up
(STAY DOWN). You clench your teeth as you feel a burning fire course through your veins
(If you move you die, for once in your life listen)
"If twig gets hurt..." You begin the voice of justice interrupts you
(Why do you care for her, she sets you on fire, and has been most cruel despite you freeing her of me).
"Because she's my friend" you say smiling
(You foolish boy)
Dick dastardly
The garden around you erupts into flames, quite impressive. Jack is still creeping up on the girl. Oh he was until she notices him despite being blindfolded. He could easily kill her and let he doesn't, probably because he's afraid He'll hurt the "Queen" the fool. A simple magical trick later and you are behind her.She doesn't notice you creep out of her shadow.
(cont)

>>28295392
It would take several high rolls to kill of an important character

>>28295392
Ok. Point 1, T. Mustache already said he wasn't killing off a character with a single roll (dashing my hopes to quickly move on from this storyline) and we had a vote to validate that. Point 2, this in an intentionally chaotic and unstable story, that's Parton it's charm. Point 3, I find it amusing that you keep running to the Questgiver with you're complaints rather than trying to fashion anything approaching a plan to make Dick interesting beyond "Dick does what he needs to do to get the girl, fuck over the world and runaway into the sunset allowing us to do something else." if the plan's to move to another character after this anyway then why not let the old protagonist go out with a BANG! A bloody one.

Hell, I was mostly suggesting fucking over justice to give him a worthy, challenging opponent in the short (maybe long) term and to give him something to do (reclaim Justice from the devil) once this is done. The character's a freaking god for crying out loud, he needs challenges appropriate to that scale.

Rolled 43

>>28295460
I am still waiting on Molyneux to show up and freak about what we did to his setting.

Wouldn't it be right now the worst moment for Fritz or Dastardly to show up?

Okay, adopting my other name for a moment.

Let's try to keep discussion away from trying to sabotage different characters unless it pertains to Dick or someone planning to sabotage them.

Also, remember to not feed the trolls.

This is the Captain with your public service anouncement and back to our previously scheduled program.

>>28295504
>worst moment
Not really. We have shit tight in hand.

>>28295439
She does notice your arm around her neck however.
"Let go of me" She spits like a wild animal "I might spare you if you do". So very like you.
"Ah Knight" Jack says "I assume you dealt with the hero". You nod, thinking about the best way to deal with this annoyance.
"Now hand her over" he demands. You shake your head,
"Knight do not dissobey me" He says angrily "Give me the queen"
What do you say
[] sorry jack, the names dick, dick dastardly, and you'll soon learn to never tell me what to do
[] Hey little miss, set him on fire
[] Ok
[] choo choo
[] Oh how I hate You jack, and that ugly mask of yours, lets see what happens when I break it
[] write in

Rolled 92

>>28295507
Its almost starting to feel like the AoPH thread from tuesday.

Ah, the debating, the trolling, the crying...

>>28295504
It will probably happen soon.

Rolled 68

>>28295542
>[] Choo Choo!

Rolled 28

>>28295542
>[] Hey little miss, set him on fire
A fun activity for the whole family!

>>28295544
That was a fun thread

>>28295563
Do we still have the one per thread train limit?

>>28295542
>CHOO CHOO MOTHERFUCKER

Just wanted to say that. Not my real choice, rather
>[] Oh how I hate You jack, and that ugly mask of yours, lets see what happens when I break it

Rolled 44

>>28295542
[X] Hey little miss, set him on fire

>>28295542
[X] Oh how I hate You jack, and that ugly mask of yours, lets see what happens when I break it and ask the little miss to set him on fire.

>>28295544
Oh god that entire one vote.
Thank god he created an entire thread just for that one vote.

Rolled 56

>>28295586
There was more than one, which makes it all the more hilarious.

Really, we had a separate thread with over 500 replies just for the shitstorm. Haha.

>>28295542
Oh jack
You didn't really think I was your underling did you?
Hey little Missy, want to see what happens when a flaming train impacts a pompous ass? It combines things we both love

>>28295592
When you control dick yes, otherwise he can just keep throwing them as I assume he'd roll high enough to not tear a hole in reality, again

Rolled 76

>>28295542
>Burninate!
Seriously, fuck Jack!

>>28295586
>>28295621
It's even better when you consider we ended up with both anyway.

Rolled 6

>>28295542
"blind eh? I might be able to do something about that little Missy, I just need you to do one thing for me. Burn the idiot. He's outlived his usefulness."

>>28295630
>not tear hole in reality, again
I cannot express my current level of disappointment. You wound me OP, you wound me to my soul.

>>28295670
one guy actually voted for the train remember.

Rolled 87

The more I think about it, the more I want Jack to be turned into a little girl and renamed the miss of blade.

>>28295700
>>28295700
You can still do that, I mean being set on fire isn't instantly lethal

Rolled 2

>>28295700
Maybe we should turn him into a little kittengirl instead, just to freshen up the joke?

Rolled 31

>>28295735
A kittengirl is fine too.

>>28295764
Can we set it on fire and watch it run nyahing in fear and pain while we get blindy to make us popcorn?

>>28295661
So we'd turn her into a little girl, just it would happen to be her, with eyes? Sounds cool. Might want to use test subjects first though.

>>28295661
"Hey little missy" you say with a voice like butter "Burn this idiot, he's far since outlive any usefullness".
"KNIGHT" He shouts drawing that sword he is so fond of "I will strike you down again".
"Oh jack did I ever tell you how much I hate you and your horrendous mask?" You ask "Not to mention you never remember my name".
"what are you talking about" he asks now ablaze, before staring at you "You aren't knight"
"DING DING DING WE HAVE A WINNER" You shout.
"Who are you?" he asks
what do you say
[] a god
[] Dick Vilian Bethany Dastardly the third
[] this girl's father
[] A thing not of this world, neither is the girl, the overgrown manchild on the ground over there, or the thing I was hoping to trick you into believing was the queen in his head.
[] your doom
[] other

Rolled 19

>>28295796
>[] other
A gentleman

>>28295499
this guy gets it

Rolled 26

>>28295839
oops, wrong post quoted.

Meant to quote>>28295808

>>28295808
[X] A God....and this girls father. *Insert smiting him with our supreme power*

>>28295808
>[] A thing not of this world, neither is the girl, the overgrown manchild on the ground over there, or the thing I was hoping to trick you into believing was the queen in his head.

Rolled 75

>>28295808
All of the above! Seriously weave that into a goddamn monologue! Ze Dick deserves one.

>>28295883
I'm so glad you guys chose all the name options in the first thread

>>28295883
Yeah, we actually sorta completed a plan without everything going to hell.

>>28295860
Wait even better" Your Doom, for I am a god not of this world and this lovely fire is my daughter....and that overgrown manchild is unfortunately my son.

>>28295883
Seconding

>>28295901
And you fucking jinxed it

>>28295941
Nah, the original plan completely failed. Mind you it could never have succeeded because it was based on false assumptions.

>>28295883
Now that also works.

>>28295935
"And that voice in my sons head would be my woman is she ever stopped worrying and let me tie her to my train tracks, if you know what I mean?"

>>28295883
You think what to say to to the confused creature. He may strike out against you at any moment, not like it would hurt you, but your dear daughter seems a bit...flimsy.
"A... god, called Dick Vilian Bethany Dastardly the third" You begin
"Wait a second" The girl shouts angrily "You're related to Gunther?!".

"Unfortunately" You say "I am also related to you my dear daughter, and I was not born of this world, you may have had a mother who birthed you, but she was never truly yours, so yes you are related to that manchild bleeding on the ground over there". She doesn't say a word, probably shocked at this revelation. JAck swings his blade at you, catching it on your skull, now this would have killed you once upon a time, but you're a god.
"What are you" he repeats.
"Your doom" You say with a smile.
What do you do
[] Put him on a train
[] See if whatever he is can be turned into a little girl....with cat ears, yeah that should make a good present for your daughter
[] make him swish cheese
[] Choppy choppy
[] other

Rolled 10

>>28296070
>[] See if whatever he is can be turned into a little girl....with cat ears, yeah that should make a good present for your daughter
That would be cute.

>>28296070
>[] See if whatever he is can be turned into a little girl....with cat ears, yeah that should make a good present for your daughter
are we supposed to roll?

>>28296070
Hey Jackie, have you ever wondered how you would look as a little catgirl?

>>28296102
Nah, Jack ain't Shit to the Double D

Rolled 63

>>28296138
hmmmmm

Correction, turn him into a little catgirl with double D

>>28296138
Not as he is now anyway. I imagine if he had his heart and sword we'd have to try quite hard.

>>28296070
[X] [] See if whatever he is can be turned into a little girl....with cat ears, yeah that should make a good present for your daughter

>>28296070
>lobotomized kittengirl pet thing
Distract the kids so we can give Justice the D she's been waiting for for so very long!

Give her the Dastardly that stole her heart.

>>28296157
Jack at full power is basically a god. This guy is but a shadow.

>>28296221
least we aren't dealing with Lucien Fairfax, that guy was the wimpiest of the Fable villains. Even Fable Journeys had better enemies.

File: 1384491965285.png-(477 KB, 695x559, 1381820092364.png)

477 KB PNG

>>28296172
Hmmmm, you know, you really like this joke, never gets old. You think as your fingers pierce Jack's neck. Really its comedy gold. You blind daughter seems to stare at the thrashing demi god? creature of the void? dumbass? You really never cared enough to ask. However as he begins to shrink, you realize, this is actually getting bland. You recall some strange cartoon your old henchmen watched when not staying away from your corpse, oh how you miss that corpse. What were you thinking about again, ah yes girls that were part cat, really cute, but sadly not real, but you could make them real, you are god after all.
You watch as the pitiful creature in your hands shutters and gasps as you rewrite everything about it. You briefly remember fluffy as the ears and taill appear in bursts of blood and sinew.
you really need to find your dog you think as familiar barking fills your ear, ah there it is.
You look at the thing in your hands, i..she blinks and stares at you with confused eyes, oh dear it appears you fried what ever jack was.
the mask however refuse to leave its face, you need a hammer or something.
"Happy birthday" You say releasing your daughter and cat jack.
"t..thanks" she says looking at it with despite being blind
What do you do
[] Family reunion (remove justice from Gunther)
[] talk with one of your children
[] other

>>28296292
Fucker shot my dog

>>28296338
>[] Family reunion (remove justice from Gunther)
Time for a family reunion and possibly a vacation at planar cuba.

>>28296338
>[] Family reunion (remove justice from Gunther)

>>28296371
We'd need a chest to pack all of our traveling items in.

>>28296338
[X] Family reunion (remove justice from Gunther)

>>28296338
>[] Family reunion (remove justice from Gunther)
>>28296435
Will the Chest be our son's super best friend?

>>28296338
>Family reunion
>talk with the misses
>kiss in the hopes that the neutral explosion with annihilate this reality and stop her nagging
>discover that opposites don't cause that reaction in this reality
>shrug and enjoy make out sess-
>why are we on the ground?
>oh shit, Justice is screaming at us while holding us down and gut punching us, while grinding against us
>oh well, the kids'll have to just get used to their new siblings...

>>28296593
Sorry this got a bit butchered, lost the original draft to a browser crash...

>>28296593
Clearly Gunther ends up with Justice and Dick gets to take his daughter on a wild reality hopping ride.

>>28296338
Our dirty Mexican henchmen were weeaboos as well?

>>28296473
You decided to remove Justice from the head of the idiot. You walk up the uncounsiouc form of yoAAAAH IT MOVED.
"Ow ya argh a dick" He groans "did ya realeh hath ta kick me".
"Yes" You say "Now lets get the goddess out of your head".
"What did ya say" He muttered "Jess leave me be, ya hath fucked me day up enough already".
You ignore him and place your hand on his head, grabbing the other being with in. the golden burning beauty of justice slowly rises and...did she just slap you.
"Aharharharharhar" Gunther laughs.

"Hello dear" you say. She glares at you.
"Oh come on".

"twenty years" She says "nineteen in little miss pyromaniac, the last one was actually easier as he didn't want to kill something ever five seconds"

"Dinnae insult me!" Gunther shouts angrily.

"I find that hard to believe honestly" You say "I mean I tried so hard to make him a violent monster".
*whasmack*
"Ok that one actually hurt" You say.
"What made you like this?" she asks.
"It was my mother" You answer "a vile woman really".
"And so you treat your son badly because of that?" she asks
"He's an idiot" You answer ""He finds more joy in being a barbaric drunkard than causing terror"

"Dat mah bee because drinken is fun" He shouts.

"He's a sweet boy" justice says.

"Very undastardly" You say.
She glares at you
what do you do
[] kiss
[] kick gunther again
[] tell her she is currently stepping on her darling boys face
[] play with fluffy

>>28296640
everything is weeaboos

>>28296710
>[] tell her she is currently stepping on her darling boys face
then
>[] kiss

>>28296710
Kiss
Then play with fluffy
Do not mention that she is standing on Gunther's face and actually doing a decent job of not garbling his speech any more than necessary

>>28296710
>[] tell her she is currently stepping on her darling boys face
"I was trapped as well you know its not like I meant to keep you trapped in there. Plus, my plan to get you out worked, despite the fact that you moved bodies."
then
>[] kiss

>>28296710
[X] Kiss her, kick gunther while doing so, tell her she is standing on our "darling" boys face, and play with our dam dog because holy hell we have missed his cute little face.

>>28296748
this has my vote

>>28296710
Tell her she is stepping on that darling boys face by mentioning how impressive his ability to speak and indeed maintain consciousness while a goddess is standing on his head, dear me that is an incredibly thick skull he got

>>28296710
>"...So we agree that he takes after you and Astraia takes after me." Smile "Still, twenty miserable years for the both of us seems like a light price to pay considering I actually get to ask this.) Drop to one knee, "Dearest Justice, the only good thing to have ever found its way into my heart, would you consent to let me tie you to my train tracks? Or, if it's too soon for that, share my company for an eternity or two or until I inevitably end up driving you away with my insanity (really not going to blame you if that happens)?"

Prepare to get punched in the face.

>>28296821
That is so very dick it makes me cry

>>28296821
This gets the Captain's vote.

>>28296748
"You are currently stepping on your "darling boys" face" you say "Quite impressive having a god step on his head isn't even effecting his ability to speak, I think, its hard to tell with him.
"Sorry Gunther" she says stepping off.
"eh its alright" He says "I've had worse"
"Now dick" she says "I am sorry but your deeds can't go unpunisMMMMPH". You still got it despite "dying" twice.
She stares at you, blushing as red as the blood covering Gunther
what do you do
[] Kick gunther again
[] nother kiss
[] You don't like the way your daughter is touching the cat
[] FLUFFY OH HOW I HAVE MISSED YOU
[] other

>>28296957
>[] nother kiss
that will shut her up

>>28296957
I do like the way our daughter is touching the cat I am just unsure entirely how she is managing it
Ah kiss justice again anyway

>>28296957
>hat do you do
>[] FLUFFY OH HOW I HAVE MISSED YOU

>>28296957
[X] FLUFFY OH HOW I HAVE MISSED YOU

Ask Justice if she could heal Gunthur before she bleeds out or something and go see our daughter.

Fluffy meets his new playmate....The Jack of Cats.

>>28296957
>"Astraia, take care of your brother for a bit. Please."
Engage full make out mode with Justice.