Previously:http://suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/archive.html?tags=Washed%20up%20villain%20questpastebin: http://pastebin.com/ZFFtLDe6(AHAHAHAHAHHAHA, Ok now my dear boy, that is what we call karma). You ignore the voice in your head, gritting your teeth as you stomp through the forest angry as a castrated balverine. (You didn't actually expect that to work did you, you did didn't you, see in my experience you have to kidnap and or murder at least one family member before you can kiss a woman safely). You briefly think about beating you head into a tree until the voice vanishes.(Wouldn't work, I can hear all of your thoughts, remember). Avo do you hate the voice.(feeling is mutual kid). "Gunther" Astraia calls out from somewhere behind you, possibly entangle in underbrush or perhaps about to set you on fire, again "wait up for the love of avo".What do you do keep wallking stop begin beating head into tree roll1d100 other
Rolled 65>>28218341> otherEnter your own mind and fight with the voice for dominance.
>>28218411Could we have a new record for destroying the QMs plans? STAY TUNED
>>28218485Lets not do that. Primarily because I would be so tempted to deliberately lose.
Rolled 52>>28218485I am sorry then.In that case, lets just stop, grab twig and kiss her passionately.
>>28218503Not to mention it would make me angrier than a rabid dog who's chain is far to short being forced to watch delicious children walk in front of me without any kibble
Rolled 90>>28218341[X] Stop, beat head into the tree anyway.The voice could be lying!
>>28218572Et tu Brutus?
>>28218572If there is no choice in say, ten minutes, since this got the highest roll it will win automatically
>>28218572Can't argue with that logic.
Rolled 24>>28218659Alright with me, as long as it doesn't kill us
>>28218572You feel a surge of anger course through your veins, nineteen years, NINETEEN FUCKING YEARS OF TAUNTING, INSULTING ANNOYANCE. THAT IS FUCKING IT, IT ENDS TODAY, EITHER ONE OF YOU LEAVE THIS AVO FORSAKEN HEAD, OR NEITHER OF YOU CAN HAVE IT (wait WHAT!?)You grab a hold of the largest tree and begin slamming your head into it with deafening thuds and bangs, shaking the tree and a few nearby from the strength of the impact"GUNTHER" You barely hear cried a you continue to slam your think pan into a still living block of wood.(STOP YOU FOOL, YOU'LL KILL US BOTH). Don't*Bang* Ca*Thud*re. (Wait who the bloody fuck are yoooooooooooo.....)*WHAAM, WHAAAAM, WHAAAM, WHAAAM, CRACK*(.......)..........is it gone. You hear terrified crying somewhere nearby, and your forehead is covered in a something warm and hurts like a son of a bitch"Voice in my head?" you ask. no response.You smileWhat do you do Dance and laugh with joy pick up twig and tell her the good news continue walking otherFlaw conquered: Voice in your head (YOUR FREE YOUR FREE)you may gain a trait if you wish, I will give the options if asked
>>28218878> Dance and laugh with joyDon't tell her a damn thing, though.
Rolled 4>>28218878>Flaw conquered: Voice in your head (YOUR FREE YOUR FREE)He will be back.> pick up twig and tell her the good newsWash our forehead on her dress.
>>28218954He'd better. He's the protagonist after all.
>>28218878See, this is what I meant by rewarding everything and making the MC an invincible behemoth. We just got rid of a dead god possessing us by headbutting a tree. Nice job man.
>>28218878[X] Continue walkingWe "may" be free or we could have just knocked him out. Only time will tell.
>>28218878Sure, tell us the options.
>>28218969Actually you didn't, remember A certain fellow by the name of jack, well now he has a really pissed off train summoning god with him, one who happens to be well versed with mind fuckery
>>28218878 continue walkingGimmi them traits kind sir
>>28219012Can we switch perspectives at some point? I prefer Bethany anyway.
>>28218985EitherAlone in mind and body (allows for slightly more well thought out options)or Thick headed (lethalizes headbutts)
>>28219044>Alone in mind and body (allows for slightly more well thought out options)prefer this one.
>>28219042You could, but you wouldn't be able to control him for long. Also be aware that Bethany also refers to dastardly the first
Rolled 77>>28219044I like thick headed. Imagine if we wore a custom axe helm along with that trait.
>>28218878>>28218878Trait gained: Brain damage- Tricking or charm like effects are less effective against the target. A side effect of how we got this trait is that our memory is not exactly "accurate" now.
>>28219106ahahahahahOh I like that one
>>28218878[X] continue walking
>>28219039You shake your head and keep on walking, ignoring the soul chilling empty feeling that fills your head........feels lonely and let comforting, what a strange feeling."Gunther?" twig calls out "Gunther, are....are you alright?""Yes I am wee lass" You say laughing "I am alone in my head, My voice is the only one up there now". She looks slightly scared at the thought of that, and remains silents. Shouldn't she be happy for you? You're free of the thrice damned voicewhat do you do talk with twig back to the guild ooh that sign has a fish on itdo you wish to see what one of the three previous dastardlys are doing? y/n if so which one
>>28219106See, now I can get behind this trait.
>>28219185I could work with it
>>28219183The third of course. He's the MC of this quest after all
Rolled 23>>28219183> ooh that sign has a fish on it>do you wish to see what one of the three previous dastardlys are doing? y/n if so which oneYes, Lets see how Dick is doing.
>>28219183[X] Back to the guild and feel like you are "forgetting" something.See what the past us are up to? Y>>28219127I like to make the traits really tie with how we got them with just a little bit of a flaw on the end.Which is funny if you combine Brain damage with drinking.
>>28219183>[X] ooh that sign has a fish on it
>>28219245Dick Dastardly......Another room of worship, you really are growing tired of these damned things, espically since this one appears quite satanic and there is a red robbed man with simply the most stylish mask you've seen in awhile, you like this man."Knight" He says "It is good to see you again"."Knight?" You ask, wondering how you could twist this lesser being to your benefit. "Ah you must not remember, You used to rule this land with myself and the queen" He says "until William black tore out your black heart, Though I must ask how you ended up in the head of one so pathetic as he". You smile, the universe just gave you a delcious little treat in the form of this man.'I'll tell you over a cup of tea....." You begin"Jack" He says, his voice like deliciously evil wine "And you know what tea is?"Gunther Dastardly."Now twig this is the life" You say basking in the sunlight."You know we really should get back to the guild" She says."What guild?" you say " Oh yeah that place"What do you do go fishing go swimming explore forestgo to the guild other
>>28219355>go to the guild
Rolled 59>>28219355> explore forestRANDOM ENCOUNTER!
>>28219355> go fishingOh boy! Maybe we can catch a nice fis!
>>28219399>>28219399I really need to make a list for that, I know one of the option would lead to finding . infact if someone made a list like this for me, I'd be most pleased
>>28219355[X] Go to the guildGot to get paid!
>>28219423Sure:1-20 Bandits21-30 Undead31-40 Hollow Men41-55 Balverine56-65 Sand Furies66-75 Wasps76-85 Nyphs86-95 Hobbes96 Kracken97 Arachanox 98 troll99 Dreadwings100 Pawn of Blades (I have no idea what this is, but I don't expect it to be pleasant.)
>>28219466Well you need to gather your reward for your slaughter of those bandits, even though they seems nice, I mean only one actually managed to strike you in the confusion, you think, you don't feel to beat up anyways.The walk back is filled with serenity and awkward silence.But you soon find the burnt forest and path that leads there. You ignore all else and enter to map room finding a blood covered whisper and Gregory.What do you do try to scare them roll1d100 get money, leave make a joke Now kiss otherDo you wish to see what one of the first two dastardlys are doing?Y/N
>>28219530Nah, best leave them hazy. Too many cooks and all that.
>>28219511Ooooooh, I like it. Though I would enjoy one for random events, not just encounters, like finding a demon door, or a female merchant giving birth, or a burning village. I could of course make this myself.
Rolled 71>>28219530> try to scare them roll1d100Its just an harmless prank.
Rolled 13>>28219530[X] try to scare them roll1d100And Yes.
>>28219511>>28219555There could be a one for random events and one of them would be "encounters" with this >>28219511 to be used to figure out what nasty thing we found.
>>28219561You notice Fritz's only hand is one the map, You pull out your trophy, the cleaver you used to kill the big bloke."Set me on fire Twig" You say."W...w. wha" She tries to find words for your stupidity."Just do it" You say.SOON."I AM THE SOUL OF THE CLEAVER" You shout "YOU'RE LIVES ARE FORFEIT" "Oh hi there Gunther" Weaver says "I see you are trying to raise your fire resistance, again" "AVO DAMMIT" You shout slamming the cleaver into the map, missing Fritz's hand by and inch. it appears he has wet himself, how humorous. Weaver raises his hand and like that the flames are gone. Fritz flips you offwhat do you do punch him in the face roll 1d100 leave your money (free action) Other
>>282195551-50 Roll on enemy table51-60 Random Merchant wants to sell you something. Higher the number, better the goods.61-65 burned out village66-70 idiot trying to charge a toll71-75 Female merchant giving birth76-80 Passed out drunk in middle of road81-85 Cabbage Merchant tries to sell you goods86-90 Settlement of some kind91-95 Villager needs help with trivial task, will pay.96 Random schmuck falls in love with member of party in humorous fashion. Said schmuck is rather dumb97 Set of potions given for no particular reason.98 Acquire minion of moderate talent, weirdly loyal99 Weapon in stone, needs a good tug100 Follower of either Justice or Dick shows up looking for them. Has no idea what they are doing.
>>28219731And I just realized I put you're instead of your
>>28219731>[X] Take our money and ask if there is something more challenging for our next mission.
Rolled 93>>28219731Offer to shake his hand to make peace with him.The wrong hand of course.>>28219746How about100: Encounter with Dick Dastardly the tenth, time traveller
>>28219780Because I'm personally not in favor of having our reincarnations be completely different people and don't want to encourage it? I just want to get back to playing as Dick and messing with Justice and Mr Fritz.
>>28219780If we move everything down one we could add that in as 100.
>>28219780I could have several tables of encounters>>28219800I wasn't planning on you guys trying to summon trains twice a thread
>>28219825Nor was I. Doesn't mean that Gunther being a different person than Dick, and Justice into Astria hasn't substantially reduced my enjoyment of this quest. I'm honestly just making time until we can get the 1st world gang back together and start more or less from scratch again.
>>28219731If there is no vote I'll just show you what Dastardly no 2 is doing
Rolled 41>>28219825I have an idea for a quest. We try to find an arm replacement Gregory OneArm over here.Of course, once we find said arm, we have to remind him of the bow safety rules.
>>28219914I'd prefer not really.>>28219766do this
>>28219880Well its been ten years, meaning that Matilda has been reburied and has rotted in peace, but that does not stop you from making her a ghost. John is currently fucking around in the planes due to the fact you destroyed a good deal of the first world.Brian blessed is doing brian blessed things
Rolled 43>>28219953>Mathilda's GhostMeet the next antagonist!
>>28219953I more meant playing as Dick Vilian Bethany Dastardly the third, with Mr Fritz, and Justice, in a world with no other reincarnations to muck things up so we can finish their epic romance.
>>28220005Well Justice is currently in twigs head. But once you get her out you can freely swap between the currently known members of the dastardly line.Namely Dick and Gunther, who hate eachother, violently
>>28219928Weaver hands you and Astraia your reward."It was to easy" You say. Twig looks at you."That's because you just threw them off a cliff while screaming" she said."Its a legitimate strategy" You say "and what about the red fellow"."You threw that thing after you sucker punched it while screaming in what sounded like a dead language" Twig says."Anyway I want a tougher fight next time" you say. "Well as luck would have it we just got in a rather dangerous mission, for trained heroes" Weaver says smiling "Do you want it?"What doaccept it and time skip to the journey to the destination ask what it entails run off other
>>28220063>accept it and time skip to the journey to the destination
Rolled 36>>28220063>accept it and time skip to the journey to the destinationAs if we would worry about things such as details.
>>28220040Excellent. I look forward to killing off Gunther.
>>28220094Implying puny magic can harm Gunther
>>28220063>accept it and time skip to the journey to the destinationPff we don't need to know. We love surprises!
Rolled 90>>28220115HA! It would take a locomotive to kill Gunther and even then, I wouldn't put too much money on the locomotive winning.
>>28220115Considering I like him about as much as Dick does, yeah, I'll imply that.
>>28220133Yeah, seeing as so far Gunther has been getting lucky rolls, he'll be a tough son of a bitch to put down,
>>28220191Lucky rolls aren't always enough. Remember how Dick got like two 100's and a 98 in a row when trying to close that damned rift?
>>28220063> accept it and time skip to the journey to the destination
>>28220124"So why are you coming along twig?" you ask sadly"Because its my house and sister" twig says."Still she's paying quite a bit to just make sure her mansion isn't haunted" You say. Twig glares at you"Hollow men aren't ghosts" She says."They're still dead thing mucking about with the living" You say. twig shakes her head. though it was nice of Twig's sister to send a carriage to pick you up, it has a fine collection of wine, or had a fine collection of wine."Here's our stop" the grave voice of the driver says. in front of you is a large, stone manor surrouned by various flowers and other such thingswhat do you do walk up to the door and knock Charge the door roll1d100 follow twig other
>>28220259> follow twig
Rolled 50>>28220259 otherThrow our axe at the door
Rolled 27>>28220231I'm know one of those 100's was for saving Justice from the void. I know because that was my roll>>28220259>Follow twig
>>28220231Yes, but Gunther also isn't off that world, he's from albion, meaning he could just buy a shit ton of those resurrection potions, kind of like how dick works on Saturday morning cartoon rules
>>28220306He still doesn't really have a counter to Dick hovering 50 feet in the air and shooting him with the cane minigun.
>>28220287I thought that was later actually. We got at least 3 100's during that thread. It was kinda nuts.
Rolled 12>>28220327He can throw his axe really far.Ask Fritz.
>>28220259> follow Twig
>>28220276You decide to follow twig. she walks up to the door, the guards seem to recognize her."Oi witch girl" One says "you aren't allowed here anymore, scram"."This is my home heathen" She say."Was your home, till you set it on fire" He says "Now leave"."You dare talk down to your better" She says angrily, before the guard does something that he will son regret. He hits her, hard, sending her sprawling on the ground.What do you do no one touches twig roll1d100 Calmly explain what you're going to do to his family nothing other
>>28220463> Calmly explain what you're going to do to his family
Rolled 99>>28220463> no one touches twig roll1d100IS THAT A BIRD? A PLANE? A ROCKET? NO! THIS IS A GUARD THAT HAS BEEN AN ASSHOLE TO TWIG!
Rolled 63>>28220463OH FUCK NO. HE DIDN'T>NOBODY TOUCHES TWIG>AS YOU BEAT THE SHIT OUT OF HIM, TELL HIM WHAT IS TO BECOME OF HIS FAMILY BECAUSE OF HIS STUPIDITY
Rolled 31>>28220463[X] Decapitation is the only answer.
Rolled 84>>28220516Dat damn Gunther luck man. He must be a Jojo from that universe we didn't go to
Rolled 87>>28220554We could be Dio from that universe instead.
>>28220554Imagine gunther as old Joseph.
>>28220516So what do you want to do to him?
>>28220611As my post suggested, send him flying in a nearly litteral fashion.
Rolled 92>>28220611He should go meet that red guy we sent packing. Mother might want more option on who to date back home>After several years of questing, Gunther returns to find Knothole Glave populated by all the enemies he had sent flying over the years.
Rolled 8>>28220611I say off with his head!
>>28220501No voice in your head to tell you when to stop, no voice stabbing you with phantom pains, just rage."MOTHER FUCKER" You scream in rage that would make a balverine look like a kitten. He draws his sword, obviously realizing your a threat. But you crush his stick arms like twigs and throw him upward, sending his quite a distance up, as he comes falling down, you grab his legs and spin him around before letting go. You hear his screams of pain and terror lessen gradually as he vanishes into the blue yonder. the other guard appears to have shat himselfwhat do you do pick up twig kick open the door other
>>28220701> pick up twig
Rolled 15>>28220701> pick up twig> kick open the doorBoth clearlyAlso give that guard the look and and motion of "You fuck up, you'll join him"
>>28220701> pick up twigPut her on our back
>>28220701[X} Pick up twig and kick open the door.
>>28220658>>After several years of questing, Gunther returns to find Knothole Glave populated by all the enemies he had sent flying over the years.Now imagine if they had all married his mother at one point.
>>28220884>Mother now has a harem of all our Ex-foes>"Look Gunther! Now you have step-dads!"
>>28220743You grab twig and put her on your back."S..so" The remaining guard says "Y..you must be the hero". You glare at him."I am most sorry for my.......friend's action" he says sounding like a rabbit "Please follow me"."Gunther" you hear twig groan before feeling a weak swat to the back of your head."What was that for?" you ask."You didn't need to go that far" she says."Yes I did" you say.The guard opens a door, revealing a room filled with....half dead guards, coughing up a strange black and gold liquid. and who you assume to be Twig's sister, she is quite blessed in the chest department."Hello Amanda" Twig says."Hello Astraia" she responds her voice like venom."You can't still be mad about the Elvira thing can you?" she asks."You burnt our sister alive" Amanda growls."She had mother killed" twig responds with a glare."You....burnt....our....sister.....alive" Amanda says slowly flicking Twig between the eyes "And who's this?""Gunther, my friend" Twig says."Dear avo he looks like a troll" Amanda says with a laugh.What do you do insult her flirt ask where the gh...hollowmen are flick her between the eyes roll1d100 other
>>28220920> ask where the gh...hollowmen are
Rolled 10>>28220920> flirtIts not every day that we are complimented by such a refined lady.
Rolled 30>>28220920>Flirt/Joke"Yeah and I'm hung like one too">So...where be the hollowmen
>>28220996>>28220996Trolls have no genitalia as far as I am aware
Rolled 7>>28221006This is could be part of the joke.
Rolled 60>>28221006Damn...is that right?"You should see my club then."
>>28221029or gunther is just an idiotAlso surprised no one called me out on the fact that I switched which of the Grey sisters in the games died
>>28221031Also this option brings with it a high chance of being set on fire
Rolled 73>>28221031Good enough for me!
Rolled 51>>28221111Fair enough. They only person for Gunther's club is Twig anyway
>>28221111You say that like it would be a bad thing.
>>28221126She is quite beautiful, However there is a slight problem, there is a witch on your back who has set you on fire for much, much, much less than thisDo you wish to flirt y/n.You may also see what dastardly no 2 is doingits very important
Rolled 35>>28221111I fail to see how this is a bad thing.>>28221178Lets see how our number 2 is doing.
>>28221178Y.I'm pretty sure we are use to being set on fire and if she did such a thing as set us on fire....while we were carrying her.
>>28221178yeah lets see what dastardly 2 is doing, also make dick joke.
>>28221178you know, after 9 years of her setting us on fire we be immune to it. I mean we did let ourselves be set on fire to pull off a scare earlier back at the guild. Think we can use a flaming Gunther to scare those HollowmenLet's see what number 2 is doing
>>28221178Also yes, lets see what NO. 2 is up to.
>>28221223"Want to see my club?" You say with a wink. Then everything hurts, and most of the room is on fire.Vilian DastardlyAh this is the life you think as you sip what this world calls wine, oh you say world, it would be more correct to say universe. You stare out into the stars and sigh as you pull out a cigar from your home realm, a far more uncultured place than this, across from you is some kind of slime tentacle creature, which is female, you can tell because she is slightly humanoid and because you sold your left nut to the devil to never make that mistake again.You are Vilian Dastardly. King of the Casanovas, and lord of broken heart, and this future suit is really chaffing your rod of holy mightwhat do you do go take a piss flirt to her in her native tongue who's that red haired bloke approaching you? other
>>28221301> who's that red haired bloke approaching you?
>>28221301>[X] who's that red haired bloke approaching you?
Rolled 41>>28221301> who's that red haired bloke approaching you?We aint gonna get cuckholded by that redheaded buffoon whose son recently lost an arm.
>>28221337"Ginger" You say sipping your space wine "I've seen enough jealous husbands before to..""She ain't my wife" he says."Well thank the lord for that, it would've been a shame if I had to cut off my little date with Flargna here" you say smiling, The man has the stare of a traveler in his eyes and gives off a familiar stench of magical fuckery. He's wearing a trench coat meant to fit in with whatever world or plane he travels due, probably has some kind of enchantment on it, or it might turn into some kind of mechanized armor, or maybe he's just thinks it looks cool, he is wrong. in his hand is a worn cane. his face is marred by a vicious claw mark, and let he has a warm smile."So if that's not it then why did you tack me down?" you ask."Well its about your son..." he says. You spit out your winewhat do you do I'll NEVER PAY CHILD SUPPORT (run) roll 1d100 what son? laugh nervously motion him to follow you to the vip room, don't want to ruin your rep other
Rolled 87>>28221453> what son?Or rather, ask "which son?"
>>28221453> motion him to follow you to the vip room, don't want to ruin your rep
>>28221453> motion him to follow you to the vip room, don't want to ruin your repOh boy what did that crazy bastard do now
>>28221453> motion him to follow you up to the VIP room, don't want to ruin your rep
Rolled 83>>28221453I'LL NEVER PAY CHILD SUPPORT
>>28221453>[X] motion him to follow you to the vip room, don't want to ruin your rep as you inform him that you will never pay child support
>>28221553You restrain you self from running away as fast as you can and motion the mustachioed man to follow you to the V.I.P room. Inside is a wonderland of drugs meant for all kinds, lavalamps, robotic whores, a fish tank with an aquatic tiger, a dead body you call jerry, and you chair. You sit down, slightly disturbed that he looks at the body with a look of......amusement. "So Mr....." You begin."Fritz" he says "John Fritz"."Which son are you talking about" You say nervously "I mean am pretty sure I have created a new race from simply bedding natives far more than once"."Dick" He says "the one from the saturday cartoon land place...thing"."Ah him, I visited him once" he says "well he thought I was selling newspapers and attempted to hit me with a train, and that was the last of my spawn I ever went o visit, how's he doing, the little bastard"."Last I saw he was a god" the mans says "who nearly destroyed my home world, and then fucked off to the void with that worlds embodiment of justice"."Damn" you say "He managed to seduce an embodiment?""She was more of a goddess" Fritz says "and yes, in a day or so, opposites attract as they say"."And who's that little girl behind you" he asks."Oh dammit Missy" Fritz says "You followed me again didn't ya"."You said You'd find dick this time and reverse this curse" the little girl says."I'm trying, just....go play with the corpse or something" He says "anyways where is he". Well fuck, it appears you are dealing with a code magenta."I don't know" you say "I don't know where any of my children are". there is a gun under your chin."Well then you better start searching" Fritz says with murder in his eyes.What do you do OK OK OK, Don't shoot Want a smoke? *throw smoke pellet* I'LL NEVER PAY CHILD SUPPORT roll1d100 other
Rolled 24>>28221715> *throw smoke pellet* I'LL NEVER PAY CHILD SUPPORT roll1d100Always use the rolling option
>>28221715> otherLook, you got anything of his and this broad of his? Anything their magic has touched. With two distinct divine signatures it should be pretty easy to narrow things down.
>>28221715> Want a smoke?Say "Want a smoke pal? You seem a bit tense, let's just calm down and talk this through like the rational, calm, collected people we are." Once he has take the gun out of your face, do> *throw smoke pellet* I'LL NEVER PAY CHILD SUPPORT roll1d100
>>28221801That's the smartest thing any one in this quest has ever done
Rolled 37>>28221831I disagree.Taking over a banana republic was smarter.
>>28221801This works, plus, it sounds like this Fritz Guy will be doing most of the work for us.
>>28221801I retract my answer of >>28221823and replace it with this
Rolled 98>>28221715Just laugh.Laugh because he is knowingly trying to mess with someone from the Dastardly line.*Throw a pellet just for fun*
>>28221831Well, I figure Vilian's got to respect any of his sons that manage to seduce a goddess that's supposed to be implacably opposed to him in a day.
Rolled 83>>28221900And the dice trolls Mustache Twirler again.
>>28221801Lets do this. Seriously why are people voting for the smoke pellet?
But where's the paladin?
>>28221918Only if no one votes, if they do I choose the one with most votes, otherwise its highest roll
>>28221944What? Cave in to a threat from someone who barged in when we were about to have fun? If he wants our help we should make him work for it.
>>28221944You know, we could do both.Also, is Missy's husband still around?
>>28221981Probably powerless and really depressed at having to buy his wife sweets. But if you're wondering where he isspace van
Rolled 13>>28221998This is an important question.Did they have kids together?
>>28221801You take a deep breath."You got anything the belongs to him or his broad?" You ask."His old cane" Fritz says "why?""Anything magic touches leaves a signature" you say calmly "Divine magic even more so, it will help narrow it down quite a bit"."Well in that case I also have the severed heads of one of his "broad's" angels" the man says opening his trench coat to let a flaming head fall to the ground. Make that a code oh fuck oh fuck.".....wonderful" You say as the little girl begins to tear lose the eyes and lick them like candy.Well this is standard fair for your line. It better than your daughter who ate babies, but she was a nice lass, a real nice lass besides the baby eating thing.He stares at you."So, do it, track me down a god" He says angrily. Oh god you just realized he is Irish.What do you do throw a smoke pellet laugh DO it talk with the little girl, your right nut tells you she is in fact the oldest being in the room other
>>28222004That wedding really was one of the highlights in the life of Dick Dastardly.
>>28222016it has been 19 years
Rolled 20>>28222057> talk with the little girl, your right nut tells you she is in fact the oldest being in the roomAsk her what the hell is she doing with Jerry.
>>28222069Also shall I make a paste bin for Vilian, I mean I really don't know what kind of traits this man has besides that he has several
>>28222057> DO it
>>28222095She's eating the angel eyes
>>28221985You can still do that
>>28222057>X] talk with the little girl, your right nut tells you she is in fact the oldest being in the roomWe can talk about our price for our services.
>>28222169"You there lass" You say "Just what the fuck are you"."I was a great demon once" she says "Until your son cursed me to this current form.What do you say lets talk prices WAIT WHAT?! SO mr fritz, you have yourself a deal but just one thing, I must ask, can you give me a few minutes other
Rolled 66>>28222273> WAIT WHAT?!
>>28222273> WAIT WHAT?!
>>28222273 WAIT WHAT?!
>>28222057That angel shouldn't have touched his coat.
>>28222273> WAIT WHAT
>>28222389Yeah, they engaged in a two day battle....okay Fritz ran it over with the dastardly mobile
>>28222301"Ok" You say before realzing what she said "WAIT WHAAAAAAAAAT""Yeah your son is kind of a dick" She says "He also did it to an assassin, and crime lord"."Dear lord" you say "I...I...Wow that's a useful power"."You perverted old man" She says."Ehh I'm still a few centuries off you toots" You say leaning black "So how much you paying me to do this"."Your continued existence" Fritz says."Oh stop trying to be a hardass" A man in armor says "Also Fuck you missy, do you realize how much candy half demons eat"."Don't care" Missy replies."I swear to justice when we find her I am smiting you so hard" He says."Oh save it for the bedroom" the little girl says. Ok this club sucks ass.What do you do track down your son comfort the man in armor other
>>28222518Also I have forgotten the paladin's name
>>28222518> track down your son
Rolled 9>>28222518> comfort the man in armorIts the right thing to do.Also, did he really hit that? EEEWWWW
>>28222518[X] Smoke pellet out of there and track down our son so we can learn how he did the gender changing trick.
>>28222518> comfort the man in armorBy the way, seeing that Fritz is literally a champion of a god, wouldn't this technically mean he is a saint? Saint Fritz, the patron saint of irish gangsters?
>>28222601Also does anyone have any ideas for traits vilian would have
>>28222601this should be our top priority above all else.
>>28222614Oh my god, I never thought about that
>>28222601Also make sure to leave hints wherever we go for the fine people.If they can follow the trail we set then they will get what the came for.
>>28222637Saints preserve us
>>28222619Is he even evil? from what we have seen he seems like he would have something like super charisma
Rolled 53>>28222619WomanizerSuper-FertilityGender DetectionSuper-Charisma
>>28222648Three way tie? godsdammitShall I roll for it
>>28222619Smooth Bastard: Instinctive ability to deliver good pickup lines.Detect Husband: Always know the location of anyone you are cuckholdingI'm a lover and a fighter: You know how to fight, but you also have a bodyguard of highly capable combat veterans. Incidentally, they are all female and beautiful.
>>28222518>half demonsI see what happened there.
>>28222669He has accidentally genocided two races due to interspecies breeding, so no he is not evil, he just tends to dick over things. Also Dick's siblings are about as unhinged as he
>>28222601>>28222648This sounds very in character so it has my vote.The dastardly is full of dastardly people. If they can't follow the little game we set up for them they don't get the information!
>>28222792http://pastebin.com/TrqtDrPC (vilian)You smile, and hold out your hand to shake Fritz's. he smiles and does the same, before you throw down a handful of smoke bombs. You grab the cane and book it as a song begins to play on the loud speakers (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o4Olx-oU1M8&list=PLD9odiDYXGOvN65yz5q946xYLu0Sg0HuJ). Gun shots and the roar of plasma fills the air as you dance around the bar.."GET BACK HERE" You here Mr Irish Scream in impotent rage as you hear clanking metal and a demonic roar. You roar. this is good fun. You slide under a table, catching a nice view of the groin of one of the few humans in the club. you steal a drink as you hop over a table and kiss a waitress. You see your alien friend monty, he looks a bit like a humanoid crab with three eyes."GET IN THE SHUTTLE MONTY, CODE CRIMSON CODE CRIMSON" You shout with joy as the club bursts into violence around.What do you do dive into your vehical jump through a window into space and grab it as it flies away roll1d100 (you have a space suit Wink at Mr Fritz as you fly off otheralso any ideas for flaws and a description
>>28222957I swear to god that "You roar" was you laugh
>>28222957> Wink at Mr Fritz as you fly offFlaw: Lady's Man: You sometimes believe in your ability to persuade women to much, allowing your enemies to plant someone on you. Of course, sometimes this backfires when they actually fall in love with you.
Rolled 59>>28222957[X] jump through a window into space and dive into it as it flies away giving Mr. Fritz a wink as you fly off.
>>28223028So basically James Bond then. Also, did he teach the most interesting man in the world to pick up chicks?
>>28223080He is called the king of Casanovas and is worshiped as such on his home plane, despite no being divine. SO most likley
Rolled 68>>28223049Can't ague with that.
Rolled 32>>28223108Wait, my choice is missing> Wink at Mr Fritz as you fly off
>>28223100So, is there anyway to beat whatisname back into Gunther's head? The internal dialogue was amazing while it lasted.
Rolled 38>>28222957Rolling to murder the yet unborn child in question because fuck child support,
>>28223049You run, a wicked smile across your face as your suit turns into one meant for the void of space and light combat, you leap over a scared Ger'tal'ia and covered your head with your arms to brace for the impact into a rather thick panel of glass. You slam into it like the fist of an angry god and you find yourself floating as the cold metal shutters close behind you. Fuck you miss timed it, Or at least you think you did as a familiar claw reaches out for you.*Click clack click spitting noise, low growl*"Monty you glorious son of a bitch" you say as you grab his claw as he pulls you into the shuttle, The SS Silver tongued devil. You look behind you to see fritz banging on a glass panel. You wink as you close the shuttle door,what do you do throw a spare top hat out, the first clue track down your son have a drink with monty stare at the big titted A.I other
>>28223204> throw a spare top hat out, the first clueLet the games begin
>>28223178Possibly, I mean you'll have to get them to both make up, it is also possible to establish Psionic dastardly network of fiendishness
>>28223204> throw a spare top hat out, the first cluethen  track down your sonand finally to celebrate our finding him  have a drink with monty
Rolled 36>>28223204>have many drinks with Monty>Jack in and have some fun with the big titted A.I.
>>28223226Well shit. So the easiest way to establish a new head voice if for Gunther to void bomb his world and move on the a new plane of existence...well, I guess I'll be gunning for a bizarre adventure sooner than I'd expected.
Rolled 71>>28223204Clearly we are being tracked. Set course for a different son!
>>28223204[X] Throw a spare top hat out as the first clue as we have a drink with monty while staring at the big titted A.I.Then after our drink we shall begin the search.As for a Flaw: boredom- While the love of women is a great driving force sometimes you need to have a little entertainment mostly in the vein of pissing off people just to see if they can catch you.Or something like that.
Rolled 7>>28223204> throw a spare top hat out, the first clue> stare at the big titted A.I>Try to impregnate said AI
>>28223347I guess you fail at impregnating the said AI
>>28223291I can see him going to different sons just to leave clues as to where he is going next.
>>28223225You grab a top hat that is covered in what little magic you have, and toss it out the shuttle.*Click clutter snap?*"its a game monty" You say with a smile as you crack open a bottle of some liquor you found in a world of nothing but fire "a fun one, but first, a toast, to the greatest crustacean to ever live, Monty"*Snarl pant gargle*"Oh you make me blush monty" you say as you stare at the well endowed A.I of your ship, Martha you call her "Now lets see were my dear boy is staying shall we?"*Clatter splort snap*"What, you want to celeberate first?" You ask montywhat do you do Track son via cane *upgrade* Martha MONTY Youish mah besht friend other
Rolled 60>>28223347>Succeed in impregnating the big titted A.I.Why not, we've done weirder shit.
Rolled 89>>28223369In that case, a bad roll could mean that we succeeded.I don't think impregnating an AI is a good thing.
Rolled 34>>28223388> *upgrade* MarthaImpregnate the AI
>>28223388>[X] *UPGRADE* Martha
Rolled 72>>28223409Oh, right. Let me add a roll to that.
>>28223392Why would it be a bad thing? Free second A.I.
>>28223388Also any idea for a description?
>>28223388> Track son via cane
>>28223447And then we can reprogram that second A.I. For permanent loyalty and then wire it into our idiot son's head when we find him, giving us full control of a local god once we restore his position. Looks like we could us a new minion, sorry Monty.
>>28223448Description of what exactly?
>>28223495>>28223497For when I archive this>>28223479Monty is more of a friend than minion, think of Mr Fritz, then imagine if Dick was a nicer man
Rolled 98>>28223515Description we make men fly and make crab people fly even higher. Trouble involving an irishman, a real bastard and a little demon girl...in space!
>>28223515It gets so lonely in our head that we have to leave entirely. Other stories are followed.
>>28223515The Dastardly clan gets more screen time.
>>28223515Yeah, Dick is good minion material those we might need to do a full mental wipe. We'll probably also have to kill or enslave Justice if we don't want to kill him though...decisions decisions.
>>28223407>goodYou decided to upgrade Martha......except"Monty....how do I make her thighs more.....fertile looking?" You ask.*CRACK SPUTEER SNAP GROWL GURGLE HIGH PITCHED WHINE*"Wh...WHAT, no more wasting data space on useless accessories?" You ask you friend "But they aren't useless".*Snap crackle pop*"What do you mean we're out of cereal....Oh no you don't you are going to upgrade martha right now" You say*sputtter whine crack snap roar low growl*"What do you mean you want to lower her cup size for more tracking capabilities, you monster" You say with real shock.*Spit gurgle clack click snikt high pitch whine* "Help us find my son faster?" You ask "well he can..."*Gurgle spuuter click click clatter*"Give her sentinence via magictech?!" You shout " are you mad".*Roar growl whine Snap snikt sputter growl high pitch whine whal song moan*"allow me to fuck the ship?" you repeat "Damn you monty, damn you"what do you do FINE MONTY no it isn't worth it other
Rolled 30>>28223636> FINE MONTYonly option
>>28223636> FINE MONTYThen give a heartfelt speech about how this is only temporary and how bad we feel, meanwhile Monty actually does all the work
>>28223636[X] FINE MONTY
Rolled 49>>28223636> Fine!And now we meet Justice' mother!
>>28223730Also you may get monty a translator, so other people besides vilian can understand him, seeing as he sold his last one for boooze
>>28223766Why is it that I get a sort of Batman and Alfred in college feeling about these two's relationship?
>>28223766Can we rewrite the translator so it just says whatever we want it to instead of actually translating for Monty? Could the translator just be us talking very obviously out of the corner of our mouth in a funny accent?
>>28223841Yes, but monty will slap you
>>28223766Why would we get him a translator when we already understand him perfectly well?
>>28223751"Fine" You groan exasperatedly "Oh Marth I'm sorry, I swear its only temporary". You can hear the sound of metal tearing and monty cursing as he gets shocked. You stare into martha's empty eyes as you swear to return he bust to its former glory.*Snick Grow whine*"Shut up monty, you're ruining the moment" you shout.*Snikt whine growl*"Wait what do you mean its all ready done, dear lord you should start going by speedy monty" You says as you turn to Martha.She blinks at you.....why did she change her data to stop resembling a bunny outfit?."Hello" She stutters "I am martha, and I am alive". She smiles and begins to dance around the place."damn you monty" You say as you watch the blue stream of data dance around in her greek looking robes.*Click Clack chlick clack*"Soooo" You say "Do you remember protocal 69?"."No, why?" she asks as you silently curse monty as he laughs at your pain.What do you do Ok monty Where in existence is my son Drink with monty Hey monty do we have any food? So Martha, why? other
>>28223920How well does this Dastardly hold up to Monty slaps?
>>28223928Because no one else can, So say he wants to order space pizza while your out,what then
>>28223951He's used to it
Rolled 68, 100 = 168>>28223943>"Would you like me to teach you?">"Monty, set up a direct mental interface for me and Martha!"
>>28223973Get Martha to do it?
Rolled 52>>28223943> otherLewd actions with Martha
>>28223973Then he can send a text and eat the pizza boy instead of arguing over whether or not he did in fact order bread sticks!
>>28224012That's racist as fuckor as Monty would say*Clack SPUTTER ROAR SPIT GURGLE*
>>28223991Clearly the 100 gives a secret +1 to the 68, enabling Martha's Protocol 69 through dialogue.
>>28224027So he would order bread sticks?! B-but the gluten!
>>28224051Monty would lick a pan of bacon grease if you let him
>>28224058Two votes, need at least one more
>>28224075So he has good taste. Doesn't mean he shouldn't take care of is health.
>>28224093I'm kind of interested in seeing whatever provoked tis reaction image >>28224058 happen.
>>28224093protocol 69 gogogo
>>28224126Meanwhile on Albion"I FUCKING HATE SKELETONS!" You scream as you crush a skull beneath your heal."You know I wonder why lighting is actually hurting them" Twig ponders on you shoulder "I mean if you think about it"."Less talking more fighting" You scream as you try to keep the shambling horde away from the city proper. So many skeletons, SO MANY AVO DAMNED SKELETONS.Would you like to control Gunther? Y/n
>>28224167Mean while in unknown universe 10"Let me show you" You say before being whacked across the face.*Click clack sputter moan*"What do you mean illegal?" You ask *Click Clack whine*"She's technically only been alive for a minute!!!?" You shout."What are you talking about?" she asks.what do you do you ain't no pedofile Well her program is at least as old as Monty.... Fuck it, drink with monty
>>28224168Can we control Twig? If so her, if not then Y to Ginther
>>28224220You could, she still has a voice in her head
>>28224168Y>>28224233we could burn it out?
>>28224201> you ain't no pedophileFeet are gross man
>>28224201> Fuck it, drink with Monty
Rolled 14>>28224201> Well her program is at least as old as Monty....>>28224168>Would you like to control Gunther? Y/nGUNTHER TIME!
>>28224287You stare at space, trying to decide what to do.Gunther.....FUCK SKELETONS.You bisect a crowd and watch as another goes up in flamesfuck, fuck, FUuuck so many skeletons"LO GUNTHER" A voice calls out to you "It shall be I who sends you to hell.roll1d100 to dodge
Rolled 16>>28224353Turn around and punt the guy out of the door and resume killing skeletons.
>>28224201>a minute in program runtime is like, a few weeks.>get her drunk first, see where it goes from there
>>28224374How do you get data drunk?
Rolled 5>>28224353Dodge and throw axe in the direction of the voice
>>28224398Monty would be pissed
>>28224233No, twig isn't really built for our direct control. We'd just get her killed. Besides, why is Justice hanging around if her Dick is already moved on?
Rolled 35>>28224353Die Gunther, my favored son.
>>28224433Well that's just depressing. But I suppose Dick's moved on by now so who really cares?
Rolled 33Oh dearLooks like Dick Dastardly took all the luck with him.
>>28224361You feel a stabbing painhealth status: hurt.and hear a raven like laughyou turn around to see a finely dressed skeleton, at least twice as tall as the others, so around your size. one of his eyes glow gold, the other is a black abyss.What do you do Attack roll1d100 Berserk roll1d100 to lessen civilian casualties  headbutt roll1d100 other roll1d100
Rolled 38>>28224500> Berserk roll1d100 to lessen civilian casualtiesZEEEEEEEEEERRRRRRRKKKKKK
>>28224474She can be freed
Rolled 57>>28224500Rip out and pocket gold eye. It's probably worth something.
Rolled 100>>28224500 Attack roll1d100
>>28224560Welp, guess we're attacking
>>28224523And I'm saying that on second thought, I have no motivation to do so. Besides, it might be fun watching twig slowly be broken by the weight of Justice' loneliness, knowing all the while that the Third Dastardly could easily solve the issue, but he doesn't give a fuck. Walking in on twig bashing her head against hard objects, giving herself concussions, slowly accumulating brain damage and eventually leaving her to rot in the guild as she simply becomes a boring, empty shell of the vibrant young woman we knew so briefly. Seems fitting for this game.
Rolled 83>>28224518 other roll1d100"Shiny!"Tear the glowing eye out of his socket and make it into a necklace.
>>28224560Why do I only ever crit in this quest?First abomination, now Gunther the destroyer
>>28224594I like the way you think
>>28224624It's how you laid the stage. I'm just running with it.
>>28224560You feel your fist colide with his cold dead flesh as you remove his arm like warm butter with your axe. he tries to retaliate, but you tear off his leg and bodily slam him into a wall. his eye glows, so you gouge it out. All the while Twig clutches her head as if in pain. He tries to stand gold and black mists replacing his lost limbswhat do you do Decapitation roll1d100 tear him to shreds roll1d100 other roll1d100
Rolled 51>>28224682> other roll1d100tear his eyes out
Rolled 94>>28224682Twig you ok? tear him to shreds roll1d100
Rolled 18>>28224682> tear him to shreds roll1d100RIP AND TEAR !!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!
>>28224624I mean, is Gunther even attracted to Astraia anymore? Why would he be without his predecessor's emotional baggage? It's not like Gunther in and of himself cares much for anything beyond violence. And with the memory flaw we just picked up its not like he'll be able to form or maintain a friendship, let alone anything romantic.
Rolled 87>>28224682>[X] Decap
>>28224624>>28224725Personally, I think he does care about her. And I really hope this never happens. I don't mean to come off as a dick or anything but I like this as a goofy romp not anything that in depth.
>>28224725it isn't that severe. He forgets things that are unimportant to him.
>>28224725Drinking plus memory flaw makes it even worse.
>>28224787You make it sound like twig is not unimportant to him. I'm arguing that that is likely to change.
>>28224800Sorry, I should be saying Astraia. Nicknames are for re-occurring characters.
>>28224699You Grab his jaw and pull, it screams in pain, You grab its ribs and pull them apart, And then you begin removing his organs in a blind fury, he manages to nick you, so You grab his head and squeeze, causing a chill to run down your spine as you continue to pull him apart into smaller pieces, ignoring the sound of battle around you until you hear a familiar voice"I think its dead gunther" thunder laughs."it ain't dead enough" you reply."What happened to witch girl?" he asks.Oh avo dammit. She's clutching your neck like a child clutches a teddy bear, a pained expression etched on her face."twig, are you okay?" no response. Her eyes changed expression rapidlywhat do you do threaten the voice inside her head roll1d100 beg avo to help her roll1d100 Pose, this may help roll 1d100 other
Rolled 36>>28224838> otherBear hug
>>28224789Demon's liver:can drink anything without having to worry about the negative effects it might have. Side effect: Depending on how large the negative effect is might get slightly tipsy
Rolled 24>>28224838>[X] OtherThe knothole glade what requires we punch her in the face, but since she is weak we should downgrade it to a few slaps and some semi-violent shaking.
Rolled 60>>28224838> threaten the voice inside her head roll1d100Also ask Thunder for help
Rolled 63>>28224838[X] Threathen avo to help her roll1d100
Rolled 19>>28224838> other - carry her back to the guild. Maybe Weaver or Maze could do something?
>>28224893Good enough for me.
Rolled 100>>28224838Pose she loves when we pose.
Rolled 1>>28224877Asking Astraia's head voice for help sounds like a good idea. Supporting that.>>28224838
Rolled 48>>28224931HAH I did it again. Man why do all my good rolls end up in this quest...but hey apparently we posed so well it chased the goddess right out of her head from the sheer amount of thought and feeling that just gushed through Twig right then.
>>28224931Did we just awaken our inner Jojo? By the way, if we were gonna take Jojo, would Dick Dastardly have become our stand?
>>28224944>>28224944>>28224931>>28224931WHAAAAAAAAAAAT DO I DOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
>>28224959So we posed so awesomely that she had an aneurism? Nice going on the over roll there...
>>28224968>28224968Ok I have an idea of what to do. The only problem is it may involve another voice inside Gunther's head or a willing sacrifice
Rolled 42>>28224963we get her voice? in our head?
>>28224963Hustle. Or alternatively, stall for another set of rolls.
>>28224963Easy.....Take both results.Something amazing happens but with terrible consequences.
>>28224998I require more information if you desire my input.
>>28224963Avo and talk to the voice are tied in votes, the pose only has one so I vote try Avo, It doesn't crit nor does it crit fail
>>28224998Voting against acquiring the original Dastarly as a head voice. That thing's fucking crazy at it will eat the world for the sheer fuck of it.
>>28225027So we talk to Avo who will do as we ask for a price?
>>28224998Take another voice I suppose.
>>28224998Voting for the original Dastarly to become a voice in our head.We tell Avo to fix this shit, but the condition is that we become a prison for the original.
>>28225045Who said it would be of the dastardly line?
>>28225048Hence the sacrifice option. Bye Gunther, we hardly knew ye. Born by sacrifice, dead by sacrifice, ultimately you're life wraps too short to accomplish anything of worth to to fail on any scale worth remembering.
>>28225077Oh please let it be Ms Smith or Mr Fritz
Rolled 5>>28224963Basically when we failed miserably talking to her we decided to pose in order to bring back Twig. It worked a wee bit too well.
>>28225077I assume carrying Justice would cause another Neutral explosion annihilating this reality. So yeah, the Dastadlys are the only group strong enough to ride Gunthers head without just body jacking him, but not so alignmently opposed as to be unworkable or easily ignored.
>>28225100Well I suppose we could always suicide.
>>28224931>>28224944You gently poke her head."Oi voice in her head, I swear if you don't stop hurting twig I'll burn down the only thing keeping justice in this avo forsaken world" You say with a smile. Twig's expression flashes to one of burning hate before changing back to one of pain, incredible pain. You find yourself posing for some reason, guess your emotions overtook you. Thunder is staring at you with an expression of dull surprise.A light shines down from the heavens."My child" A voice calls out "Your pain has summoned me","AVOOO!!" You shout changing pose, FUCK."But I cannot save your friend without a deal between us"."NO" Twig shouts "LiStEn GunTheR, I'll LeAVE AStraIA Alone, But I nEEd A hostsssss, And YOU look So DELCIOUS"."DO not listen to her my child" Avo says.What do you do Fuck both of you, I am tearing the voice out Side with avo (gain, Voice of darkness) Side with Justice (Gain voice of reason) Skorme? roll1d100 Find someone to be justices host roll1d100 force someone to be justice's host roll1d100 other
>>28225100Fritz is still aliveSmith is in another plane
>>28225170It's going to be the Jack. TwirlyOP keeps trying to write him back in by but the dice haven't complied. So this is where it begins...
>>28225150Well, Gunther isn't exactly evil. He simply has almost no concept of right or wrong.
Rolled 68>>28225174Thunder is there right? He's a hero, he'll do force someone to be justice's host roll1d100
Rolled 83>>28225174>[X] Skorme? roll1d100Might as well cover all the bases.
Rolled 57>>28225174>Kill justice
>>28225202Well he was born out of pure neutrality, he just happened to adopt the rage of a certain other being
Rolled 83>>28225174> Find someone to be justices host roll1d100There are people above ground scared shitless of us use one of them
Rolled 22>>28225174>Fuck you both I'm tearing the voice out!
>>28225174> Side with Justice (Gain voice of reason) Take Justice in our head.
Rolled 22>>28225174>take our mother inside us
Rolled 55>>28225174 Skorme? roll1d100What is the worse that could happen?
>>28225259THREE WAY TIE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! YOU ARE MY RIVAAAAAAL!!!
Rolled 39>>28225174Eat justice, become Lawful neutral until she digests.
Rolled 33>>28225174> force someone to be justice's host roll1d100Force Avo to host Justice
>>28225174Become host for justice. We've dealt with one dead god in our head, what's one more?
>>28225268If we acquire Justice, we can always beat her out of our head like we did the last voice, right?
>>28225274How would that even work OUT!!!
Rolled 60>>28225174The power of Skorme compells you!
Rolled 52>>28225174Avo I'll trade my mustache
>>28225298YEs, but you'll gain a flaw>>28225290Said god used the word delicious to describe you
Rolled 28>>28225280Unwilling marriage? Fuck yeah!
Rolled 59>>28225268Come on forcing someone else to take the fall
>>28225321Yes she did. Clearly we must CONSUME her instead of it being the other way around.
>>28225321Well we have a wonderful body, beautiful moustache and a kickass tattoo.
>>28225298Then we can upgrade our flaw to MAJOR Brain damage. You almost can't trick or charm us but we forget important things and people.... you know what? I'm changing my vote to Acquire Justice
>>28225174[x] Side with Justice (Gain voice of reason)DO EEEEET
>>28225338Ok it seems force someone else to hold the possibly insane god of justice and fire has won
Rolled 53>>28225374Didn't see that coming
>>28225338It's ok anon, let this lesser form of Gunther die so we can move somewhere bright and new! Some unspoiled world filled with possibility and some new psychotic head voice to offer an amusing stream of criticism for our ever action. It will be beautiful again. Trust OP.
>>28225374Or maybe it didn'tI don't know anymore
>>28225361On those grounds I'll change my vote >>28225259 to acquire Justice
>>28225374Fine. Give it to Fitz. Spoilsport.
>>28225397>>28225397My head is starting to hurt, and I have a feeling that you guys will some how destroy albion, I have no idea how, but I had a killer headache when you fucks tore reality a new anus last time
Rolled 11>>28225397Why not have a vote where its like1. Force someone else2. Get Justice3. Skorm Then have people reply to the comment with only the number then stop and tally after like a minute
>>28225364Ok justice Gunther tag team has won
Rolled 36>>28225174Take justice into our head, but make sure you ram her into the same compartment where you keep your berserker rage so that she can only come out when you unleash your rage, thus guiding our otherwise indiscriminate destruction.
>>28225397I have about four of the votes for giving Justice to us, on for transferring her to Avo, two for outright killing her and none for transferring her to someone else. Just move on to the next bit, ok OP?
Rolled 3>>28225441fuck that roll a dice
>>28225428Clearly we are going to trick Justice to join us just so we can try to get her out of our mind like we did with Dick. Come on fatal flaw of forgetting important people!
>>28225446Actually do what this guy said >>28225441god I need a drink
>>28225461Well actually it may be a mark of some kind,
>>28225450>28225450That is....actually quite smart
>>28225466What the fuck does "Skorm" mean anyway?
>>28225533Devil of albion, basically you call him out and something happens and he adds a third option
>>28225533God of evil in Fable
>>28225533Skorm is the god of evil in Albion and is pretty boring guy.I suppose it's derived from the word Scorn.
>>28225551It seems get Justice has won
>>28225551Huh, for a third option I would have gone with Dick just being unconscious or comatose instead of gone from our head, blowing up reality if we ate Justice, perma-killing him if we accepted Avo and just having him wake up later if we moved Justice somewhere else. Whatever, you da boss Boss.
>>28225571So Albion has gods after all. That makes it less interesting.
>>28225441[x] Get Justice
>>28225579"Fine" You say "get inside my head". What happens next is horrifying as Twigs eyes turn to ash as she screams in pain and sobs as an orb of fire leaves her skull. Thunder appears to have stopped thinking, and the hollowmen explode into radiant light. then comes a drilling pain that nearly makes you bite your tongue off. All you see is fire as the intruder tries to add a foreign thought to your mind, morality and knowing right or wrongRoll1d100 to resist
Rolled 10>>28225640Come on balverine boy
Rolled 97>>28225640Fucking eat her!
>>28225661You're welcome by the by. Now we just have to prepare to kill daddy when he comes home looking for mommy.
Rolled 38>>28225640Ba DUM TSCH
>>28225671>orb of fire leaves her skullSo she's dead or just brain dead?
>>28225661So Justice is GunthernizedI so want her to lose her sense of morality now
>>28225703Neither, she is blind
>>28225640>Twigs eyes turn to ash.That...has got to hurt.
>>28225709Does she gain Divination now?
Rolled 43>>28225640"I don't get it."
>>28225671The irony is I assume the presence of daddy in the back of our head is what kept Gunther neutral for all those years and without Dicky he'll probably end up somewhere on the "good" end of the spectrum. Astraia on the other hand is probably her daddy's daughter and without Justice is only going to be a less controlled forceof evil in this world. Man did Justice fuck the fuck up.
>>28225749No. She's just blind.
>>28225763>>28225709Oh shit we made Therresa
>>28225709Seeing as with that roll, we might have eaten her, is this going to happen?>>28225450
>>28225796...assume I know jack about your reference. Please explain.
>>28225803As the roller of the 97, I hope not. I want her dead and digested.
>>28225816Therresa, sister of the player character of fable 1. Had her eyes gouged out, is important in 2 and 3. A bit shady, our version has fire lightning and no longer a voice telling her not to burn things, the real one had divination and just as planned
>>28225816>...assume I know jack about your reference.Well, Theresa was the sister of the original hero in Fable, but she had her eyes cut out by Jack.
>>28225816The sister of the hero from the first fable who essentially was the villian of the second game and gained divination, immortality, and then the ability to control reality in a certain area after she had her eyes cut out by the guys who burned the hero's house down
>>28225843So, someone highly likely to try and succeed in killing us. Sounds good.
>>28225661NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO. the fire fades away and you hear feminine cursing as the voice is confined into your think pan, a slight bit of guilt flooding into you(BASTARD BASTARRRRRRD) "ahahhahaHAHHAHAHAHAHA" you laugh as you rise to your feet "I WIN YOU WHORE"Flaw gained: Voice of reason"....G...gunther" Twig cries out, blindly pawing into the air "I can't hear the voice anymore, Gunther I can't see you, Gunther?". You gently put carry Twig."Its alright twig, just don't bloody cry" You say "Or else I'll smash my head with a rock".(you wouldn't dare). Yes I would, no one hurts twig I will get back at you, I swear this."Why?" she asks "I don't want to be alone"."Then don't cry" you say as you try and focus on happy things, like random violence and beer(Your worse than dick, you know, at least he wasn't confusing). Who's dick?(The previous voice in your head). Ahh well he was a dick. (He left me, he didn't try and save me) Don't care."Say twig" You say "How about we get some pie or.... maybe lo....swi...*sigh*""Its ok Gunther" She says "Its much easier to think without a second voice in my head""That's good" you say as you sadly carry your friend through the town, back to the guildWhat do you do timeskip SPAAAAAAAAAAAAACE (Vilian)
Well I can honestly say I have lost all interest in thisI was wavering near the end of the first part because that just got stupid, this part was set up pretty decently but then we got rid of the main point of the story by bashing Gunther's head against a tree until the voice stoppedMaybe if you could learn to not go lolrandumb you could make an interesting threadDoubtful that will ever happen though
>>28225930We bit off our tongue, how the hell are we talking to her. Oh fuck, this conversation is entirely in our head. Justice has too much control and I don't know what to do...
>>28225940Good fucking riddance, I wish you good health and wealth in your life
>>28225963Nearly bit off our tongue
>>28225963>that nearly makes you bite your tongue offWe still have our tounge
>>28225930>time skip>play as Astraia Dastardly née Grey, widow of Gunther.
>>28226021For now, perhaps. Even if it is, He'll be back
>>28226021Ya know as much as I like Gunther, I think I'm gonna agree with this. I'd like to see Gunther and Twig in a few years but for now Space Dick is waiting.Dear god I wrote space dick without meaning green babes
>>28226048Maybe, but it feels like his arc is pretty much concluded. Justice seeking vengeance might be fun, but that would still be post Gunther...unless you have a plan in which case I'll extend my trust. I just don't see it yet.
>>28226046>28226046I do not want to make another pastebin today
>>28226083He'll be back, like a wart on your ass, he'll return
>>28226063So timeskip + spaaaace?
>>28226102Well, I suppose you'd know best then.>time skip away!
>>28226124Switching to space just mean controlling Vilian for a bit
>>28226122Sure lets go with that
>>28226157I am aware, I just have nearly no emotional investment in him yet since I was late to this thread. I'd rather let him do his thing in peace to be honest, but will try to get into the swing of things if that's the will of the majority.
>>28226162A year passes on Albion, while in another plane of existence a game is played by a dastardly bastard and an irishman. and that's where we'll stop as my head feels like its about to implode
>>28226200We'll decide next thread then
>>28226206Ok. You know, if you want to jump to a separate Dastardly's arc after one finishes up you can just do that without calling a vote. Assuming it's already been introduced that is. It'd probably be easier on these headaches we seem to cause.Anyway, just wanted to say I thought you did a good job working around a hostile player base tonight. Thanks for roughing it out.
>>28226278No problem, Though I was terrified you guys would have somehow destroyed albion, seeing as that is what happened last time you rolled so many nat 100s
>>28226206Sounds good to me.
>>28226311Oh, just a fair warning. I intend to kill Dick for running away, his fault or not, if we ever see him again. Whether or not that will be a viable option I though you might want the heads up for planning purposes.
>>28226368Which Dick? The third or second?
>>28226278Hostile? Dude we're on 4chan, this is really civil
>>28226368Oh I am, The only problem is that at least 2 dastardlys want to kill/capture dickGunther wants to kill him for being a dickVilian wants to learn how to turn his foes into womennot to mention Fritz unknown want for him, andGranny Smith seeing as he nearly destroyed her world.but it is entirely possible simply to leave Dick alone to whatever he wants to do. it will of course doom albion to work underneath his heel, but who cares about albion, it turns to shit in the later years
>>28226426Dick- He who ruins worlds and then thanks to his comic upbringing always gets away in the end.
>>28226426Oh man a Dastardly family reunion! I can't wait for that
>>28226426He's still on Albion? Excellent! That should make things much easier. Thank you for that tidbit OP....now to make sure he can't flee to the void or elsewhere...well, I suppose our oracle could come in handy for that, though we'd have to trust her not to go all "daddy's little girl' on us, right?
>>28226472Hell He may be the BBEG, always fucking with his family's lives when he gets bored with the last world. then again there is also Not satanand the Cannon police as BBEG possibilities
>>28226508She likes gunther, Only problem is she has had the one thing of order in her mind removed. Remember when Justice said it told her to not set things on fire.Gunther however had the thing that taunted him, insulted him for his entire life removed from his head and had it replaced by a thing of order that isn't a massive fucking prick, I have no idea how this will work out as I was expecting you to tear her out of Twig's head
>>28226517Clearly the BBEG roles are always switching around. Though if Gunther dies it would be funny it Not satan showed up with that deal again.
>>28226629"Hey Gunther""Who the fuck are you, wheres twig"."All in do time friend, but if you wish to see ....twig again, just sign this contract here, and go wild"Then begins Gunther's bizzare adventure, though I also want to see what you guys would do in gensokyo
>>28226567As was I. I assumed that Dick killed his new host to take a body better equipped to handle him. And Astraia suddenly had a vacancy open up... Not that it matters, the way it's currently set up Gunther or than other hero's going to be forced to put her down soon enough at which point boom, oracle, boom convergence with Fable Canon. Just say having a dead god in Gunther's head makes him immortal and suddenly the tale is taking place in the second age. But whatever. I want Dicky dead because I only stopped finding him annoying when he became a head voice, not that he's free he's only a liability to us ever accomplishing anything lasting. So he needs to die.
>>28226567I would assume Justice would try to do the same to Gunther that she did to Twig. But Gunther lacking morality wouldn't be affected much, probably just get more polite or less beserker if any change at all happens.Twig would become much more impulsive, and most likely look to Gunther to help her with things. So Gunther would get more responsible and nicer (maybe), while Twig gets more dependent and meaner
>>28226710I think the only think keeping twig dependent before was Justice constantly yelling at her not to set people on fire. Not spthat she's free to do that with impunity, I don't see her relying on us in combat, or ever. I do see her telling us to fuck off for telling her what to do.Remember how she said she could think much more clearly without her head voice? Yea...
Also, is it just me or does Justice seem a little....unhinged at the moment? Which is something that might effect her judgement.
>>28226710You realize Justice workers by inflicting massive pain when we ignore her or her instructions, right? I don't see this doing anything to Gunther asside from raising his combat multiplier when fighting Evil and drastically lowering it in all other circumstances.
>>28226765I'd go with heartbroken and distraught myself. But unbalanced might be more appropriate I suppose. At least she's on board with killing her lover.
>>28226710Twig isn't Twig anymore Anon. She's Astraia. Get used to it.
>>28226765I like that she seems to have completley lost her shit after like a day without DickNot like that
>>28226763not to mention that justice stole her sense of sight, but she is a hero of will, so that may not matter, at all. And she is a good deal smarter than Gunther, which may be why she was more effected by justice, less room in her head, now its all hers for the first time in her life. While Gunther has room to spare up there>>28226765She's a bit crazy, partially due to getting tired of Astraia's shit>>28226807We'll see how that works out, I mean its up to you if Gunther listens or if he repeats his previous actions.
>>28226924You know how she used to set people on fire when they insulted her but that mostly stopped with the exception of us? I don't think she's going to like having a demeaning nickname anymore.
>>28226924I think he means Twig as you knew her is gone seeing as the thing stopping her from burning EVERYTHING, is gone. She no longer has to do just and right things out of fear of pain.
>>28226975I'm of the thought that when/if she says that to Gunther he's gonna throw her in a lake again
>>28227009"DON'T CALL ME TWIG".*Splash*"Well see you at dinner twig"
>>28226905She thought he would save her from her torment, Instead he fucked off with jack not even trying to get her out
>>28227009Then she might actually try to kill him. Or she might just swim away. It's not like she's in a relationship with us at this point and there a whole world out there for her to experience on her own terms.
>>28227058Oh I can't wait till tuesday. also Ten threads without it imploding, I think you all deserve an applause
>>28227084I read that as applesauce. I need to sleep
>>28227103Applesauce is delicious, you deserve it as well