Why would you do that

>>28086332
Morbid curiosity/I DON'T KNOW WHAT CAME OVER ME

Do not eat slime, especially if it's on old food.

But really OP, what were you expecting?

>someone posts on /tg/ about licking their hands after touching slime from bad food

SAN LOSS

Jesus Christ why.

>>28086332
No, I mean why would you drink Coke Zero. Jesus Christ, OP.

Well I don't see this thread being productive, at best it will be as productive as licking white hotdog slime.

>>28086391
>be on /tg/
>be productive

pick one

That's not sanity loss that's failing your common sense roll.

>Working in shop
>Watching fat, obviously stupid girl looking very worried
>makes a worried squeak sound
>turns around and begins waddling away
>Has an ever increasing brown patch growing in trousers
>presses her hand into it smearing it down her trouser leg
>the smell :|

>>28086391
better than licking white-hot dog slime though. pretty sure that'd kill you.

>>28086350
You should try eating some garlic, cleanses the palate well.

>>28086422
Please tell me this isn't real.

>>28086381
It's the only thing I could think of with a strong flavor enough to wash out the evil
>>28086427
That's a good idea

>>28086422
I gagged, thanks anon

>>28086443

I wish I could say it wasn't but after a couple years in retail you would surprised how often I see this shit (no pun intended)

>>28086422
This happened in the toy section at the Target I worked at
>mfw I had to clean up the shit trail
>mfw I have no face

>>28086422
I'd call her out on it like an asshole if she was smearing it all over the place.
If she realized what she did and tried to scurry away to a bathroom or outside or something then I'd let it go because shit happens

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My old copy pasta.

>Sitting at home, playing some vidya.
>Phone rings, I look at the caller ID.
>Unavailable. Well, so am I.
>Few moment later the ringing stops, and the answering machine starts up.
>Dead silent for a few brief seconds.
>Then unearthly babbling blares over the answering machine's speakers.
>Baffled, I sit there.
>Then the eldritch noise turns into more of a tune.
>It sounds like "Happy Birthday".
>Then a voice, in broken English says:
>"Hello, Lucy, its your long lost Brazilian family wishing you a happy birthday".

Lucy will never get this message.

>>28086472

I have also had to calm down a mentally disabled man who had pissed himself and then demanded rather aggressively that I help him change into dry jeans.

>TFW pulling down piss soaked jeans off an angry retard

I don't think it's led to any actual SAN loss, but I do joke about non-Euclidean geometry actually being as bad as HPL seems to suggest. Or, to be more specific, the mathematics behind such things are. Differential Geometry and working with high-order tensors drives me nuts.

>>28086513
Aww hell no. They do not pay me enough for that. I hope you got a raise.

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>>28086323
Not for me, but my dad had a great moment once.
>Helping dad clean out some crap in the back yard.
>Look into trashbag full of old VCR tapes.
>Bag is filled to the brim with maggots.
>I remark "Ugh, that's disgusting"
>My dad turns around: "Come on, Anon, it's just a bunch of--"
>Dad screams and jumps a foot and a half back.
>Hastily walks back inside. Tells me from behind the screen door to get some bug spray and kill the maggots.
>Mfw cop dad who has seen homicide victims on a regular basis loses his shit over some maggots.

>>28086551

I got a "Thank you" from the manager... worth it!

>>28086511
I wish my family loved me enough to learn the language of the Other Gods.

>open fridge
>see empty sausage pack
>ROLL SAN
>fail horribly
>"WHY WOULD YOU DO THIS!?? Oh god what is common sense?"
>sister laughs at my indignation

>Go to a long abandoned mental hospital
>Exploring builders like fucking ghost hunters
>Last building hidden by trees and bushes
>Hear a crying sound from top floor
>Freeze in fear
>crying stops after a minute
>We all laugh it off as the wind
>Take one step towards building and crying starts closer to the window above us
>nope.jpeg

>be 16
>was socially awkward as fuck
>start going to LGS
>meet 6/10 cute girl
>seems awfully forward and aggressive towards me
>invites me to come hang out at her place after the shop closes
>she drives me to her house
>leads me to her bedroom, tells me to stay put, and disappears into her bathroom
>comes out in full fur suit
>"Drop 'em"
>"w-w-what?"
>"Drop your pants. We're gonna fuck. Now."
>freaked out but too beta to say no
>so beta I can't even make my boner go away despite not finding the fur suit attractive
>still have 'Nam style flashbacks any time I see a teddy bear

I think I was raped by a weeaboo in a bear suit

>>28086568
>I got a "Thank you"
>"Thank you"
>in quotes
Please explain

>>28086596
why were you in an abandoned hospital

>>28086617
probably quoting what the manager said

>>28086617

The manager said the words... Thank you

>>28086637
Urban exploration is a popular hobby nowadays

>>28086596
This reminds me of a thread, about a year or so ago, where two anon would brake into property of derelict building, just to take creepy images.

>>28086637
Not him, but that sounds fun as hell. I would love to gather some friends and explore a few 3spooky5me buildings.

Unfortunately there aren't really any around where I live.

>>28086637

Cause I may be the hardiest man alive

A dog walking on two legs.

>>28086511
I have seen you post this at least 6 times.

>>28086663
http://killsixbilliondemons.com/?comic=throne

>>28086663
Sorry, meant
http://i.imgur.com/V8NvXmm.gif

>>28086596
>Not going to check on the sad ghost.

What sort of person are you? Have you no heart?

>>28086603
It's not rape if you were willing.

>>28086698
>linking an image on an image board

>>28086702

If I had gone up there and seen a little girl facing the corner of the room crying, I would have lost my shit all over the walls and ceiling

>>28086721
My ipad won't save .gif's

>>28086659
Watch out for weak floors, mold, and hobos.

>>28086698
god fucking damnit everytime
those jazz hands


does the dog fall over and die if it ever stops moving?

>>28086665
That's why it's a copy pasta, and the only thing strange happen to me, not including dreams.

>>28086596
Mine's kinda similar

>meet qt 3.14 girl
>we hang out
>asks me if I want to check out this abandoned house outside of town
>house was built in the 1800's as a nun-run orphanage
>eventually fell in the hands of a civil war reenactor in the 1920's
>guy died in the 80's and nobody claimed the house
>go to house at night and door is locked (big surprise, right?)
>she gives me puppy dog eyes and asks if I can force the door open
>front kick the fragile door, flies off its hinges
>turn flashlights on and start walking around
>shit ton of civil war era clothes and hats
>suddenly hear faint noise coming from below
>start trying to track it, leads me to basement door
>sounds like people whimpering
>open the door
>noise stops
>walk down steps
>basement is 100% empty except for 6" of dust

>>28086758
Hopefully the girl was just fucking with you and making a noise in her throat while you didn't have all your attention on her

>>28086661
If you were the hardest man alive you would have went to see what the crying was.

>>28086603
How was the suit

Was it mascot tier or attempting realism or what

>>28086758
Did she leap into your arms out of fear?

>>28086511
You hole in a back! You know how many money that call costed we? And we think than Lucy just ignored us! You hole in a back!

>>28086809
Let's say this: I felt like Smokey the Bear was riding my dick

>>28086784
Doubtful, since she thought I was making that noise

>>28086816
I wish. She doesn't scare easily

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>>28086809
I mean If it was like pic related I'd laugh a bit internally bu also fuck her as hard as possible

>>28086712
Dude, at least you were 16. I lost my virginity at 19 to a 4/10.

>>28086556
That was his snuff films stash.

>>28086841
That's terrible. If she couldn't take the time or money to get a good one she shouldn't have been using it

>>28086841
Wait, you're the fur-suit guy as well?

Also, if she did not leap into your arms then you have failed as a man.

>>28086851
I lost mine at 11 to another dude.....

>>28086729

>My ipad won't save .gif's

Is this a common problem? That's retarded.

>>28086951
Bi and only lost one virginity

at least i'm not a double virgin anymore

need to into a woman

>>28086851
>>28086951
I lost mine at 29 to a 9/10
Idk if the longer you wait the more likely you are to get a good partner or if the longer you wait the lower your standards...

>>28086851
>>Losing virginity
Haha, yes, that thing I have done before I became 25, it was also a most awkward occasion, yes

>>28087018
Ah yes, virginity, that thing I most certainly do not still have. Come, fellow anons, let us derail OP's thread further by regaling one another with our carnal tales!

>>28086685
whoa

>>28086596
>
Have a similar story, not as exciting.

Me gf and a friend decide to investigate local "haunted building." An abandoned TB hospital.
We pack "necessary" equipment; flashlights, candles, chalk, bottled water, camera equipment, backpacks etc.
We plan to horror bomb it. Hence candles and chalk.
We drive to the to neighborhood its in and park at a church nearby.
Light and noise coming from the distance (Jazz festival).
Start walking towards the place people who live in the neighborhood start to berate us saying "its not scary" and "you don't need a flashlight."
They clearly know what we are doing.
Continue walking get to the gate, it has a fuckhuge hand painted No trespassers sign.
Slightly nerves but mostly excited to check it out. Walk 20 feet past the gate dense trees can't see building yet.
Suddenly lights everywhere. Its the police.
The cop tells us that its illegal to be hear berates us for being stupid ghost hunter people. I got the impression that he does this often. tells us to get the hell out and that only two people died there.
So we leave disappointed and feeling beta as fuck.
Go back to friends house get high and explore his basement which he claims to be scary.
rollseyes.jpeg
Go down to basement lights don't work walls crumbling apart with a door that leads to nowhere. Gf starts to take pictures.
Me and friend continue to look around.
We find metal door attached to a low wall that has a hand painted sign that says,
"Do not open under any circumstance." in brownish paint
on top off sign in scrawled blue paint was the word "Geto" with arrows pointing downwards.
look to our right is the door my gf has been taking pictures of on the other side.
Scrawled in blue paint is the word "Whore."
freak out, probably because we are high.

>>28087001
>I lost mine at 29
You were so close!

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>Be 15.
>Started taking medicaments to sleep because recent tinnitus and insomnia since forever.
>Spend 3 sleepless nights in a row because I considered sleeping took too much of my time.
>Because of the lack of sleep and the medicaments I'm beginning to be heavily paranoid and also hear full whispering voices in my back.
>Freak the fuck out at 3 o'clock in the morning and start lighting every fucking light in the house and light candles everywhere.
>Swear to god I saw something moving behind the glass door to my garden. Don't even dare to check it.
>My cute and faithful dog arrived from the corridor because of the noise.
>I swear to the lord even now that he opened his jaw to speak to me and told me he was gonna kill me in my sleep.
>Start yelling at dog that I'll kill him first.
>Grab machete and walk toward dog.
>Realize how retarded and Insane I'm right now.
>Say fuck it and go to bed.

I had hallucinations that whole night. One including me being Konata and another speaking to a lovecraftian abomination through my room's door.

>>28087001
probably the latter

20 here and still not have been corrupted by those filthy things

>>28087199
>Wake up early one morning.
>Lying in bed, here little girl talking from somewhere in the house.
>Voice is not my sister's.

>>28087199
I feel ya man.

>Miss a couple nights of sleep.
>Try to go to sleep at around 3am.
>Turn off the lights
>Something's tapping on my window
>Ignore it
>More tapping
>Rhythmic, so not the wind
>Think it's just a tree branch, so turn on the lights to check the window
>Lights come on, tapping stops.
>Go to the window
>Bedroom's on the second floor
>No trees in the yard
>"Huh, weird, oh well, it's stopped."
>Turn off lights
>Get into bed
>Tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap
>Turn on lights
>Silence
I don't remember how that ended. I remember crying, but that's about it.

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>a friend died months ago
>months of legal fuckshit before we can even get the keys of his house (crazy uncle not wanting us to move his stuff while family was still paying rent)
>be me, helping to finally move out his stuff
>house has not been opened since six months at this point, smelling like your grandma's armpits
>no electricity, doing most of it with little to no light
>most of his clothes and the bed he died in, not washed since then
>whatever, move stuff, find some tear-jerker items
>open fridge
>IT'S FUCKING EVENT HORIZON THERE
>christmas meat rotten since six months ago, maggots dripping everywhere
>and this stentch
>smell of death fills the whole house in a couple of seconds, because fuck hermetic fridge
>hellwegetoutofhere
>no way, we must wash it, use bucket of water
>meat stuck in the fridge, like if it made one with it
>have to use my bare hand to catch it
>fingers are going through the meat like if it was just sand
>it wasn't meat
>maggots
AAAAAAAHH

>>28087270
Maggots don't really bug me (see >>28086556) but that sounds fucking horrifying

>>28087261
Another one, though this was a long time ago.
>Be 10
>Have horrible nightmares for a couple nights in a row
>Nightmares take the form of the Joker from Batman (I didn't even watch or read any Batman shit, I have no idea why it was the Joker)
>Wake up to go to school one morning
>Still thinking about the nightmares
>Eat cereal
>Hear the Joker telling me things
>Freak out a little bit, tell my mom
>She shushes me and tells me to keep getting ready
>Kept hearing the Joker talk to me for the next few hours

I'm starting to understand how I was such a weird kid.

Back when I was bumming around the country, I was walking through a field in the middle of the night and got chased by some thing for an hour until I found a shack and it spent the entire night trying to knock the shack over.
I swear that none of the sounds that thing made were earthly.

>>28087294
One more I guess. Maybe these aren't really appropriate for the thread, but these memories are just coming back all of a sudden.

>Talking to some people at a party
>Somehow get on the subject that someone's parents now live in a house that my Dad and me used to live in
>They tell me how the house is haunted as fuck
>Their mom has dreams about someone choking her and then wakes up with scratches on her neck etc
>"Did you ever see anything like that when you lived there, Anon?"
>"Hah, nope. I don't really believe in ghosts either. Sorry."
>Walk away
>Suddenly remember all those nights I would wake up and know someone was watching me
>And how I would sit on the couch in the living room when my Dad was at work, and hear footsteps and voices in the other rooms
>Too afraid to investigate, or even go to the kitchen to get lunch

I still don't believe in ghosts.

And I still occasionally see movement on my walls or furniture and very rarely hear voices, but it's always distorted and subtle. Nothing like when I was younger.

>>28087338
Yeah?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=y58g_nvMIRw

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HrvdzCGjbzw

Think of all the sounds you can make, a moderately intelligent ape. There's no reason that other animals wouldn't be able to make just as wide a range of sounds.

>>28087270
FUCK

NO

You should have just put on a gas mask, opened the door, smothered the hinges and sides with super glue, close it, duct tape it, and burn it.

>>28086995
>tfw triple virgin


OP, I've lost SAN before.
>be like 10 or something
>Have a Cat-Dog toy that would talk. If you stretched its body the pitch would change
>It would say shit like "will you be my friend?" When you pressed the button on it's foot
>It's in my closet at my Dad's house
>Haven't played with it in like a year
Anyway, this it's the actual story
>Trying to sleep
>Hear a noise
>"Dad?"
>No response
>Fuck it, whatever. I'm ten. Don't need this shit.
>Go back to bed
>Hear it again, louder this time.
>Coming from my closet
>"D-dad?"
>Ha, nope. Dad's asleep
>kinda scared, try to fall asleep
>Almost there
>Hear this muffled fucking high pitched voice come from my closet, no mistaking it now
>"..you like...be m- friend..."
>Too scared to yell for dad
>Minutes pass
>House is dead silent (which never happens)
>"D-dad?"
>Something creaks from down the hall
>ohgoditsalreadygothim.jpg
>Try to play dead
>I hear it, the thing that kills me
>"Let's play a game, friend."
>Mentally prepare self for death
>Goodbye, Pikachu
>"I'll go first."
>Like hell you will
>Sudden courage
>Gather my ten year old not-balls and leap out of bed
>Run over to closet and throw it open
>That fucking cat-dog staring at me from the top shelf
>Stare it down
>Go on, speak. I dare you.
>"Would you like to be my friend?"
>Pick it by its soulless, plastic eyes and hurl it against the wall
>Dad bursts in
>"Anon, what the hell are you doing? Quit playing with your toys and go to bed."
>"But daaad..."
>"Go to bed."
>Dad picks up toy and places it on shelf
>"Goodnight Anon."
>"Goodnight, D-dad..."
>Wait a while
>Sneak out of bed
>Calmed down a bit
>Open closet
>Figure the toy was just malfunctioning
>Open it up
>No fucking batteries
>Failed SAN check
>Did not sleep for the rest of the night

I later found out that some old lady died in my bedroom a few years before that.
And my dad told me a few weeks later that he heard something coming from the closet. It sounded like my cat-dog toy.

>>28087388
>http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rMkXYzpGx3w

>Sleeping at night when I suddenly hear a voice coming from inside the apartment. Freak the fuck out and grab the machete my friend brought me from Costa Rica, where he helped build a house or something for Boy Scouts. Creep all around my apartment, but there's nobody. "I guess I was having a nightmare or something." Shut door and go back to bed. Voice again. WhatTheFuckingShit!!?! Go around apartment again. Nothing. I'm looking on the balcony, checking the closets, even opening some of the cabinets. Go back to my bedroom, but leave the door open. Turn the lights out and prop myself up in bed, looking out the open door, with my hand on my machete. Nothing for a long time, then a sharp burst of conversation and... static? Rush into the living room and discover I had left my guitar amp on, and it was intermittantly picking up radio chatter. Scared the living fuck out of me for a while there.

I once saw a bunch of rats pounce on top of a stray cat and they ripped it apart alive.

>>28087408
My brother had a Sully toy like that from Monsters Inc. It would just make horrible low to high pitched non words.

>>28087437
Interesting.

And if you've never gotten up in the middle of the night to secure your empty home with a melee weapon, you're no friend of mine.

I was once fapping.
Best fap of my life.
I came. I came hard.
I felt the cum come out and I saw it shoot out.
But once the dust settled and I tried to clean it up, it was fucking gone. It was nowhere, I searched everywhere.
I'm still haunted to this day by the cum that disappeared. I stay awake at night sometimes because of it.

>used to have a land rover 109
>agreed dad could use it and pay for on road costs so long as he got to use it for runs to the tip (secondary garbage dump)
>christmas
"okay anon we best take the rest of the ham and turkey to the tip incase it goes bad."
>three weeks later
"okay son, we put it off for a while but it's time to go."
>Go to the tip
>dumping cardboard boxes
>all the while, a very tangy smell is beggining to waft it's way into my nose
>eventually find the culprit
>three weeks of rotten turkey and ham
>maggots
"son what is OH GOD THE STENCH"
>dad has to walk off; can't stand smells and maggots like that
>have to throw this turkey into the tip while it leaks liquid and maggots
>get in the landrover
>fold up the canvas to air it out
>by a full jug of disinfectant
>throw on a surplus gas mask I had
>dump the entire jug's contents into the back of the landrover
>still finding dried up maggots almost a year later
Why papa nurgle?

>>28087525
//b pls go

>Innawoods
>With my unit for some major exercise we did
>Far behind "enemy lines" in this scenario
>Always have patrols out for the night
>I get woken up to go and do my shift patrolling our little base
>It's pitch-black outside the tent
>Unnaturally dark
>Like: "Can't see a foot in front of your face"-dark
>Can't use light-sources at all becuase we're in a forward base, hidden and all
>So I bring out the NVU
>Aaaahhhh... Saved
>Except.
>It's too dark for it to function
>There's not enough existing light for it to work
>IT'S TOO FUCKING DARK FOR A NIGHTVISION UNIT TO WORK
>What the hell is this darkness?
>Creeps me out
>Can't see further than two-three feet in front of me, despite wearing my NVU
>Patrol without making too much of a ruckus
>Fuck this, I'm going back to sleep

To this day, I have yet to experience such complete, enveloping, utter darkness. It was almost choking you.

My childhood home was spooky.

>Still mostly a babby
>Door lifts itself off its hinges and starts walking towards me with an open mouth
>Mom coming up stairs
>Door turns around and slips back on the hinges just as she reaches the top

>Older, living in another room
>Drippy faucet in bathroom just outside my room, in the hall
>Doesn't sound like a drippy faucet at all, sounds like a metal man walking
>Get these really sudden pictures of an oxidized copper man and his oxidized copper dog walking up the stairs
>Goes on for hours, but he never reached the top
>Faucet wasn't dripping in the morning

>>28086323
>going to the orchestra
>we're at this old schoolhouse, full of broken lockers and stuff.
>Only ever used as a community place due to big stage and musical rooms
>get there early, sit in stairwell waiting.
>hear rattling sound
>seems to be vibrations in old water pipes in the room next door
>Huh, nothing weird, just water through old pipes
>go back to staircase
>rattle rattle
>Turn back, test rattling the pipes so I'm checking the right noise.
>same noise
>turn to walk away
>rattle rattle
>ignoring it, walk back to staircase and sit there feeling uncomfortable
>rattle a few times more, then people arrive and we play
>realize the place is empty
>water is switched off
>pipes lead to empty stumps, toilets and sinks were removed when they closed the place

I have no idea, but damn was it creepy.

>>28087487
Different guy here, I used to stalk my house at night with a shitty spear-knife that I got from some fair-festival for 80 dollars.

I don't care how crazy it is, if you aren't ready for a fight to the death at 4 in the morning then you don't deserve to live.

I was in my grandma's house in the tropics. We had to have mosquito nets over the beds.

Anyway, I wake up in the middle of the night and notice something above my head. There's a fucking massive centipede on the outside of the mosquito netting just two feet from my face. I was too afraid to move or say anything until morning came.

>>28087683
>>28087487
Shit, I just realized I don't have the spare machete in my room. I need to find that.

>>28087538
It happened to a friend, years ago.
>friend is not careful about anything
>one time, hits a young deer with his car (or whatever it was)
>puts animal in the trunk
>works in the army, is demobilized
>goes in africa for two months of summer, completely oblivious of the animal in the trunk
>ask by phone to us "hey, could you just move my car from time to time, just to not let it rust"
>okay
>foul smell when opening doors
>not the stentch of death, no maggots, but the musky smell of the wild, x10000
>turns out the deer has turned into a mummy in the trunk

>>28087408
Oh yeah, I had an experience like that
>sleep over at a friend's house when I was seven.
>dark and stormy night.
>friend gets up to pee.
>hear this low warbling sound, like a man mumbling
>I am silent. The place is foreign so I can't navigate well.
>Shout "very funny"
>no response
>Warbling continues
>Lightning, really loud thunder, then more warbling
>I move to the kitchen to try to find the lights
>can't find the switch... fuck fuck fuck
>Finally open the refrigerator door to get some damn light
>Furby inside
>Low pitch warbling because of dying batteries.
>Holy fuck, this Furby scared me to death
>Check for batteries
>Find none.
>Fail SAN check
>hide.

>>28087683
Man does everyone do this? I'd roam my house with a quarterstaff or a switchblade every month or so in a fit of paranoia.

>>28087724
Fucking furbies are horrifying even when they act as they were designed.

>>28087731
I've walked around with a wood bat I keep in my closet a few times when I think I've heard people at the door.

>>28087731
>Quaterstaff of switchblade
I typically go for the combat knife behind my bed, or the bayonet on my entertainment center. The kukri in my kitchen cabinet isn't very good for surprise, what with the whole chopping motion, and the same goes for the crowbar by the front door. In a circumstance like that I much prefer to have a simple stabbing weapon. Preferably long, but not long enough that it's unwieldy. A stiletto would be perfect.

>>28087765
Also, note to self: Put bayonet under bed.

>>28087683
I used to hide a heavy, wooden cane (that belonged to the house's previous owners) in my bedroom, in case someone broke into our home;m y mother threw it out when I was around 14. Since then, I keep an old ceramic mug filled to the brim with coins in my bedroom.

>>28087769
It's usually just what I have nearby that I can grab silently. One time I just grabbed a soda that I had forgotten to drink with the intent to throw it at anyone to give me a temporary advantage. My cat almost got it because it decided I was playing and decided to scare the shit out of me.

>>28087609
Another one from duty:

>Innacity
>Practicing Urban Warfare
>And how to survive when cut off from support and behind enemy lines innacity for extended periods of time
>So we sneak around, doing some simple ambushes, but mostly just keeping a low profile
>We get ordered to do a nights full recovery for some big operation coming up
>This is, mind you, in a proper city, with people who we are to treat as hostile
>Where do we set up camp?
>In an abondoned asylum
>fml
>I thought this only existed in movies
>All said and done, we get there unnoticed
>Set up camp on one of the lower levels
>I get a full nights sleep, not forced on patrol, since we've got enough people for it
>Wake up in the middle of the night, hear foot-steps
>Good to know that the patrol isn't asleep
>Patrol just then comes sneaking past my sleeping-bag, definately not the source of the steps I heard
>Nope.
>Fuckit, probably someone who's taking a leak
>In the morning, as we eat a meager breakfast all patrols attest to hearing footsteps all throughout the night
>Some of them claim they heard whispers and voices coming from the rooms we didn't inhabit
>When investigated, nothing was found

Not that scary really, but hell if it wasn't a bit creepy, despite being armed.

>fa/tg/uys stalking their houses with weapons in the wee hours of the morning from mad paranoia
Why is this so funny

>>28086323
Your post made me lose sanity, OP.

>>28087796
>>28087789
>>28087788
>>28087769
>>28087765
>>28087731
>tfw i just grab my gun when i think there is someone in my house

>>28087824
Yeah, I've been thinking about getting a .22 or something, but I think my new ladyfriend isn't took keen on firearms.

Damn hippies.

>>28087834
Well, not all of us are amerifags, you know.

>>28087713
Also, that friend was a real catastrophe with cars. Talk about losing sanity?
>same friend, not the same car, not the same year
>one of the people we worked with tells him casaually, one day: "hey anon, look out, your car seems to leak oil"
>"okay i will care!"
>of course he did
>still in the army, summer is coming, anon is going to africa one more time (Chad if you wonder)
>calls us
>"hey, could you just move my car from time to time..."
>"Anon, there is no dead animal in your trunk this time?"
>"no, but check out my oil, somebody tell me it leaked a bit"
>okay
>go to car, do not ignite
>open hood, look into holes
>motor is filled with oil
>i mean, filled to the point the whole motor was stuck, so much oil, no moving parts could move anymore
>open trunk
>about 20-30 empty 2l oil bottles
>turns out he was putting a 2l bottle in his motor every morning since the guy said him to watch out
SANITY LOSS
>no fucking joke, an oil change usually fills a bucket.
>it took us about 6-8 buckets to empty all the oil. I say "about", because it overflowed so much we didn't know what to do

>>28087853
Here in Canada most of us do keep firearms for home defense. Even though we aren't allowed to use them for such a purpose, better face prison time than have your entire family murdered.

>>28087824
Not everyone lives on the US, not everyone is comfortable with having guns at home.

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>>28086596
i have a similar story
>late atumn in sweden
>want to try urban exporing
>convince friend to go with me
>were excited
>the place is a old mental hospital turned orthopaedic learning centre but has been abandoned for centuries, sound amazing
>we arrive at place (its far outside of town)
>we start looking for the building
>its freezing, and we cant find the building
>go home
later found out it had been demolished
>"allright we'll just check out the bigass abandoned lakeside hotel" on the other side of town
>get there
>nothings there
it was demolished last year

curse you Swedish government for removing cool unsightly abandoned places!

>>28086712
So if a women gets wet during a rape, which most do, it doesn't make it rape?

Fuck off SRS

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>>28087789
I hide a weapon in every room in my house. Baseballbat where I sleep, machetes in multiple cupboards and knives in alot of drawers.

>survivers face during an apocalypse

>>28087880
So you can have armed fights with burglars?

>>28087862
Oh my fuck what

>>28087880
I usually just keep a heavy object with the weight at the head

>>28087874
No you fucking retard

Neither a boner nor getting wet requires the victim to be 'willing'

Actively engaging in the act of your own free will (which anon did you puss blubbering cunt) makes them willing

Anon you are replying to did not say 'it's not rape if you got a boner'

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>>28087880

>>28086729
>ipad

>>28086426
white-hot dog slime is not the same thing as white hot-dog slime

I'm not sure which is worse

>>28087895
My house is very closely spaced exept for the ceiling and those weapons are rather well hidden. I doubt that I can take on any burglar thats armed with a gun, but I sure can sneak attack them.

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>>28087972
>imagining white-hot slime coming out of a dog

>>28087895
It's not a fair fight without random weapon drops.

>>28087972
Huh. I guess hyphens matter.

>>28086406
I've seen books call for sanity loss over stupider things.

>be about five years old.
>first real memories of having problems sleeping at night.
>wake up at some God awful time of night, I know from the vents in the house I am the only person awake.
>lie there awake, not able to nod off when I notice that I can't see the light of the street lamp through the curtain
>Then I notice that I cannot make out any ambient light sources
>I then lie there and watch as what I can only describe as "t.v static" falls into my bedroom from the ceiling followed.
>this continued for a few minutes before what I can only describe as a dozen black orbs of "shadow" fall through my cieiling and start dancing patterns in the room, flying through the desk and chair - passing through the door which was open, clean through an inch of solid oak and out the other side.
>ROLL FOR SAN LOSS
>SAN LOSS FAILED

I swear to fuck I was terrified by those things, every so often I would hear the sound of distant voices or laughter, like it was from another room or floor. I never could make out any words. I still get it sometimes staying in my inlaws place, ancient Welsh farm house, the static wash over the vision but no orbs, I once thought I saw my daughter pass in the hallway to go to the toilet only to see her still in her bed as I passed. I guess my adult mind has adjusted to it now.

>>28086556
i could watch gore videos online all day, but as soon as rot maggots show up I gotta turn it off. Maggots are seriously gross to me.

>>28088184
I can look at anything but puss and the 'moment of death'

I can watch most anything so long as I can't actually see the moment someone dies or the moment someone pops that massive cyst and the ooze comes out.

This has happened a few times, but it isnt frequent so I dunno.

>Go to sleep in my bed
>Wake up on my couch, up a flight of stairs.

Probably sleepwalking, but whenever it happens, I am really fucking disoriented.

>>28088116
you sure you didnt just have sleep paralysis or something?

>>28087408
I have a story like that.
This happened over at my cousin's house, early in the evening we were playing magic on the living room floor while my second cousin ran around in circles around the house (he was 2 years old at this time) and everytime he made it near us he would pound on this toy speak n spell thing. My cousin was getting tired of it so when my second cousin was out of the room he slid it underneath the recliner.

Later that night at about 3:30 in the morning i decided to crash on the couch in the room we were playing magic, my friend was in the tv room on his laptop. I lay down and start falling asleep, when I hear "Would you like to play" coming from the toy across the room. I get up and edge out of the room. I go and tell my friend, he walks in and grabs the toy which is now playing a distorted version of pop goes the weasel. He checks the power switch and its in the off position, flicks it a couple of times... still pop goes the weasel. He ended up prying the batteries out of the damn thing with a butter knife.

>>28087437
I had a two-way radio in my electronics drawer turn on accidently one night, and pick up the chatter of truck drivers by my house. shits weird.

This entire thread is related for when this one dies eventually. Also, never get your wisdom teeth pulled.

http://archive.foolz.us/tg/thread/18519935/

>Be like 5 years old
>Sleeping over my cousin's house
>They're a bit older than me
>Telling scary stories
>They tell that old story about Bloody Mary and spinning around in front of the mirror and saying her name three times will make her come out and chop your head off
>Both bathrooms in their house have huge mirrors that cover almost the entire wall
>5 year old bladder can't contain the amount of soda I drank that night
>Roll to not piss myself because I'm too terrified to go into either bathroom
>Crit success
>Wake up at 6 AM and sprint straight to the bathroom
>

>>28088184

>video starts up man is jerking off
>10 minutes pass and he cums
>maggots spew out of his cock at velocity
>he eats them
>www.brazzers.com

>be 14 or something
>there this old plantation/farm with a big Mansion on it, falling apart.
>myself and 2 of my bros and this one cute chick we all wanted to bang decide to start exploring the estate, going out through the fields. Dark as fuck cant really see anything.
>keep seeing shapes. Like the things you see out of the conner of your eye and then its nothing, but this was something it kinda look like some one.
>check out he barn, pretty expansive nothing really there
>turn around and i swear to god i saw something that skurried off before we could get a look.
>im getting freaked out but the others want to keep going and i want to get in this chicks pants by showing off how hardcore i am
>we decide to go to mansion proper.
>its fucking falling apart, there's holes in the walls, the floor is in really bad shape, don't stay to long for fear of having the whole thing come down on our heads
>theres this one really werid smell through out the whole place, it was mold and rot but it didn't smell like the wood
>smell keeps getting stronger, we finally come to its source, theres an insessant buzzing of flies
>its really dark cant see shit, i head into the room. its fucking awful my eyes are watering but pussy is possibly on the line here

Cont

>>28088506
>there's what look like...boots? or cats or somehting just laying there, littering the floor in random places little marbles around them
>eyes start ajusting to the darkness
>Im scare shitless at what I see, i cant move
>its a goats head. its a decapitated goats head, and thers more than one some look like they've been here for months some look like their not more than a few days old. their eyes are plucked out and placed around them.
>ohjeusus christ what the fuck.
>finally man up and take a step back
>*Squish*
>oh fucking shit i stepped on one of the eye balls fuck
>I'm absolutly losing my shit here but im able to keep it together
>girl has her hand over her mouth the other to are visably shocked at this
>we all agree to nope the fuck out so we go back the way we came
>theres a door what wasn't close before theres a tapping behind it.
>nopenopenopenope
>we all just fast walk out in silence

>>28087408
Had an experience like this

>Be young, around 5-6 and trying to sleep
>Share room with sister and we decide we're not tired and just start talking about stuff.
>Suddenly we hear a noise
>Coming from the closet
>Our furbies are talking
>Garbled gibberish
>Words that you can make out sound like "kill"
>Scream and run to parents room.
>Mom comes into room and goes to get the furbies to turn them both off
>NO BATTERIES.
>Mom freaks out and wakes Dad.
>Dad plays it cool and shuts them into the spare bedroom's closet
>Forget about them for a year
>Baby brother is born!
>Guest room becomes his room
>Furbies stay in room for another year or two.
>Suddenly, playing with him in his room while my dad's at work
>Furbies start talking again
>Freak out and call for mom
>Still no batteries.

We sent them back to the company with a note on them about them talking.
They were still talking when we put them in the box.

People usually call bullshit about it, but my Mom still backs me up about this so many years later

>>28088680
Furbies can still talk even with the batteries removed. I've seen it. Shit ain't natural

>>28088307
Sleep paralysis plus fever dream equals fun times.

>>28088745
Probably residual charge in capacitors and what-not, I'd guess. Same reason that microwave ovens and CRT monitors are still dangerous to dis-assemble even after they're unplugged.

>>28088745

from a quick google search, apparently those things can store backup power. that's... a bizarre choice to put in a kid's toy like that.

I guess maybe they only respond to certain sounds, and would theoretically never use that power until they actually hear something?

>>28088791
It just started talking 2-3 years after we had put it in that room with no batteries, how does it do that after so long?

>>28088849
My and my sister threw her old furbies into a fire when we were camping once. They started talking. That shit ain't natural.

I remember a dream I made years ago
>be me, in a wooden farm
>hiding from some giant invisible monster
>random dream stuff happens, so weird I end up realizing I'm in a dream
>anyway, still half in dream state, I tell myself, why not, and decide not to wake up
>something is coming
>I hear my own breathing while still in my dream, I do not see anything, but I sense a presence above me, about to surround me
>I hear my breathing going loud and scared
>and to hear me scared scares me more
>I decide it's time to wake up
>can't wake up
>I force open eyes
>There are two giant eyes looking through me above my bed
>my breathing becomes a long burst of fear
>I'm fucking totally awake
>and yet I'm still hiding under my bedsheets for another one hour
I still can see these eyes. They were not scary, demonic, filled with blood or anything. They were just giant fucking human eyes floating in the nothingness.

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>>28088433

>>28088612
But did you fuck?

>>28089040
That is fucking hilarious and horrifying at the same time.

>>28089060

reading through the linked thread for the first time, it's got some good nuggets

>>28087724
>>28087745
>>28088680
>>28088745

I wonder why so many people find Furbies creepy. I just find them hilarious. I laughed so hard I couldn't breathe when my sisters furbies started making demonic noises. It seems making certain sounds or poking them in certain placed will cause some sort of malfunction. For instance, try clapping your hands really hard right in front of it.

I think I liked those little fuckers more than my sister did.

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>Google vidchat Shadowrun game pauses for lunch/dinner break.
>Decide to take out the trash
>hear that warped, distorted yet lyrical melody coming from the street as I walk to the dumpster
>turn and see an ice-cream truck with coagulated-blood colored rust all over it
>windows are choked with dust, have dark brown/red smears
>headlights are yellowed over from the plastic's solar decay
>the grill looks like a set of teeth
>MFW

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Furbies were truly a window into hell.

>>28088506
wow you three were losers

>>28089008
got any other ones like that?

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This is funny as shit

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>>28089040

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>>28089338
>>28089356
whoops

>>28087525
Have you ever read Guts by Chuck Palichthacnodufksnfod (Fight Club guy)?

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Fucking furbies, man. Fucking furbies.

Anyways, my story has nothing to do with furbies.

>taking out the trash, am 17 at the time
>living in apartments so have to walk down a street
>to the south of the street is the apartment complex, to the north is this big-ass unused field that fades into forest
>in South US, some of that forest is old growth, hasn't been cut for 200+ years
>walking down the road with trash bag (maybe 50 meters of road? Fuckass long for taking out trash)
>on my way back, here a musical sound coming from the ditch on the north side
>sound like a cell phone
>think someone dropped their cell phone and was trying to call it to find it or whatnot, I'd find it and be the good guy and return it
>approach the sound
>it's a little bit further away than I thought
>fail my will save, hardcore
"hmm, I'll go check out a bit further. It's on the ground here somewhere"
>keep going
>walking into field, it always sounds a few meters in front of me and slightly further to the north
>sounds like I'm almost there
At some point, I was no longer looking for a phone but instead following the music. I can't tell you when that happened, but it was a gradual slide into following instead of searching. It was a quiet, but catchy tune, and it never repeated.
>keeping failing will saves
>finally pass a goddamn check
>look up
>I'm closer to the forest than the road, maybe 70-80 meters in. The grass is tall and thick here, and there are wildflowers all around me.
>Look at watch, I've been following for 25 minutes
>Suddenly realize I can't hear the noise anymore, like the enchantment was broken
>quietly return to apartment, never tell anyone I know

Not anything major like the rest of you. But I lost some more SAN each time I took out the trash afterwards. I always listened for the music, afraid of hearing and wanting to finish my broken quest all at once.

>>28089422
Chuck Palahniuk, iirc

>be me a few years back
>15
>parents are gone for the weekend
>sorta spooked anyway because I'm a bitchka
>laying in bed at night
>sleep with door closed
>hear door open
>wtf
>instantly terrified, lay as still as possible with eyes closed
>have papers strewn on floor because teenager
>hear them rustling around
>nearly piss myself
>a few seconds later the door closes

Didn't sleep the rest of the night, stayed at a friend's the following day.

When I close eyes and concentrate on a spot of void there begins a vibrating movement that pulsates and appears as a figure I cant quite get a clear picture of. I remember seeing that thing whole life. And I just remembered that. Last time I was thinking about it was like half a year ago.

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>>28089356
acid is fun

>>28089146

>BEHOLD! ITS TRUE FORM!

>>28089527
That reminds me of how I would stare at tiles in the gym locker room while waiting to be dismissed, and eventually blur away the lines between some tiles. I did the same thing at night after my eyes were adjusted to the darkness, to spread the blackness across the room.

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Delivering pizza. There's so much shit that just doesn't make sense.

>Look one one side of the street
>30s
>Look on the other side
>90s

>Building 105 is the last building before the 200 block

>An apartment building with two addresses

>Not sure if the house numbers are increasing or decreasing as I go

>Odd and even house numbers swap sides without warning

>House numbers suddenly jump by thirty

>Apartment complexes with no logic to the numbers whatsoever

I'm sure there's a logical explanation for all of this (such as city planners having Down's syndrome), but when it's late at night and you're in a hurry, it's sort of like being in a dream, where nothing makes sense.

>>28087824
That's actually a pretty bad idea, in case the person in your house also has a gun.

It turns into a "shoot you before you shoot me" situation pretty quick.

>>28086359
eh, the slime on Nickelodeon tasted pretty decent.

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>>28089700
>File name
Welp, looks like I'm going to be reinstalling Psychonauts tonight.

>>28089777
A victory for good taste.

>beeing 8 or something
>sleeping
>dreaming about me sitting in my bed
>another me sits in my bed, right next to me
>we talk about alot of serious stuff or what looked like serious stuff when you're 8
>hear the alarm
>,,I'm sorry, you have to wake up now''
>wake up, sitting in my bed like I haven't sleept this night

I still want to know what happened and if I can do it again. I'm rather sure that it was my subconscious talking to me for some reason.

>>28089909
Try lucid dreaming. Or a tulpa, if you're into that sort of thing.

>>28090022
I tried it, but everytime I got good at it, it became terrible nightmarestuff.

>>28088834

It's because the furbies, if you recall, started off speaking random ass language. They even came with a translation book. The more you interacted with them, the more they spoke english and were friendly and whatever. They had a back-up power supply that probably was only slowly used to maintain their data or whatever that held their "State", how much they had learned or what level of friendliness they were at.

This was obviously so that when the batteries died and you replaced them, you didn't have to start over from scratch. It sounds like there's a sort of glitch or something where the back-up batteries get routed to the main power and it says random shit.

>Live in an apartment building
>Taking out the trash to the garbage area at night
>See girl in lolita cosplay and a old bunny doll sitting by the trash
>Not weird at all
>Asks me if I have a younger sister
>Tell her no, walk back to my room as fast as possible
>As I'm walking up the stairs, I glance back. She's gone.

>>28090022
>tulpa
Why the fuck would somebody willingly give themselves schizophrenia?

>>28089254
We still are, honestly.
>>28089044
unfortunately not. Not sure if the others managed to but she moved away a few months later.

that does remind me of another Horror story though.

>about a year later from the last event
>my friends convinces me to head out to a party with him
>not really big on this sorta stuff but what ever i just end up muching on some really nasty snacks
>gives me a few drinks. Now i'm not to big on Booze because there's a history of alcoholism in my family
>needless to say I'm barely keeping it together after three drinks not thinking straight
>friends present me with this 3/10 overwieght black chick, must have been at least 280lbs or so
>with drunk vison shes like a 7/10
>they set us up int eh back room, shes starts ripping my clothes off, really wants me to eat her out
>we assume the positions and to this day i cannot find words to discribe te assult on my sense I felt that day
>Da pussy was nasty, Looked like she hadn't shaven in months, running all the way up to her stomach in a happy trail, the Labia looked like some one had set off a fucking grenade in it, oh and did i mention the bloody tampon she so lovingly pulled out for me?

Cont

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>>28090210
You missed out, bro, you missed out bad.

>>28090210
ya dun goofed, better kill yourself now before its to late.

Not exactly creepy, but, sometimes, I experience what I can only describe as a sensorial/awareness overload. I'll be doing something as mundane as having breakfast, studying, browsing 4chan or whatever, and, suddenly, I'll become incredibly aware of everything I can perceive with my senses.

>Holy Emperor since when does this old pencil feels so smooth and full of small scratches and crevices and why do these khakis feel so rough
>I can taste forever in this handful of grapes
>I can distinguish and beak down every single smell in this room, from my coffee and books to the foot odor in my old running shoes and the smell of heated plastic from the laptop
>I can perceive every single detail in every surface, this water bill's surface looks so smooth it's not even funny
>WHY IS THIS GENTLE BREEZE SO GODDAMN LOUD?

Hyperboles aside, it sort of freaks me out whenever it happens.

>and the smell, jesus fuck the smell. It was like one of those porto-potties that no one has cleaned out in a year so they just throw some scented soap over it, but it doesn't help and just adds to the smell. And i get fucking mouth full of the noxus air shes putting out.
>before i can protest she just sticks my face stright into it
>it tastes like some one covered a turd in pubes and stuffed it into my mouth
>I start vomiting uncontrolably all over da pussy. some goes out my nose
>she starts flipping the fuck out, kicks me square in the nose with her heel. breaking it.
>I stumble out into the party coated in blood and puke. mumbling inchoherently
>i vomit again and pass out

>>28090518

Loneliness?

>>28090709
That happens almost every time I try to focus on something like homework.

>>28087261
>Deep, cold winter in the middle of december
>wife died
>feelsbadman.gif
>reading some weird-ass books
>someone's knocking on my bedroom door
>I live alone
>nearly shit myself
>stay there for a couple minutes, knocking doesn't go away
>get pissed off
>alpha mode engaged
>Umm... sir, it's the middle of the night, and you're scaring me
>fling the door open
>raven flies into the room
>bird flies into my room and perches on a small bust I have above my bedroom door
>bird opens his mouth
>"nevermore"
>MFW I'm Edgar Allen Poe

>>28087789
>This isn't mine, I'll just throw it out.
Why do mothers do this?

>>28091261
I don't know but it infuriates me.

My mother did it with my fucking pet. Just took my bunny rabbit named Jazz and let him out in the woods. He was fucking domesticated and probably got eaten within a day.

>>28087869
Yes, yes, you are a defenseless slave with an irrational fear of weapons. Do you want a cookie?

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>>28089288
Yes. When I was a kid, I had a long period of nightmares, that now I look upon as the coolest dreams I ever had.

>Be around 10-12 yo
>in vacations, so not sleeping in my usual bed
>dreaming of me walking in a sort of abandoned rose garden, with lot of vegetation growing out of control, and that has become a sort of swamp, with flowers and thorns everywhere
>in the dream, we were like 6 or 8 people, trying to cross that huge rose garden, knowing beforehand this is dangerous, but not seeing why
>walk carefully
>walk on a flower
>the flower suddenly bursts in a giant carnivorous plant that engulfs me
>feeling the inner leaves gluing on my body, trying to swallow me
>the inner leaves are the bedsheets
>wake up in a jump, in less than one second all my sheets are thrown down the bed
>couldn't sleep in sheets or have something upon me without being scared for weeks

>>28087972
>white-hot
Here in Rochester that's a term for a specific type of hot dog.

>>28089436
Such is the curse of the fair folk.

The creepiest thing that I can remember?

>Kindergarten
>Dreaming
>Utterly white... no.. not white... just colourless world. Can only distinguish between the reflective "water" and the also reflecting "sky".
>Suddenly genderless people rise from the water.
>Start mauling on each other in a big pile like it where fucking Dante's Inferno.
>Then they are all crushed from a gigantic, falling pile of shit.
>Keep having this dream for almost a year.

When I was a kid I was also convinced I could see the future. I kept have these extremely clear deja vus, and was utterly convinced that I had in fact seen this before. And not in the "wait this has happened before"-way either, but I could actually instantly pinpoint the time when I'd seen this.

I also used to go fucking nuts while running on a massive field next to our summer house, and believe I was flying by putting myself in a foetus position and then flapping my arms.

Luckly enough I kept both of these secrets to myself, knowing that they must never fall into the hands of evil.

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>>28086603
You are most welcome Mr. Anon!

>>28091405
I did predict the future once via déja vù. I'm serious.

We had german class at school (I was 12 or so) and were watching this stupid educational movie-thing. Then, I had a flash of déja vù and said to my friend sitting next to me "There's going to run in a little girl and say Froehliche Weinachten in four seconds". He looks at me funny, a girl appears in the movie, says "Froehliche Weinachten!" and runs off.


We don't talk about it, and I've never managed to be so precise in my dèja vù otherwise.

>>28091587
>mfw we haven't been found yet by the secret order of oracles that protect humanity from the shadows.

>>28089726
As opposed to when only the intruder has a gun where it becomes a "Get shot in your own home at best" and "The Spider's caught himself a fly" at worst. So yeah, I'd prefer to have a gun, because either the burglar realises it's not worth it and retreats or I have a fighting chance against him.

>>28091615
We have to protect you from the The Orange Clan and help you find the Indigo Child!

Only then will humanity be safe.

>>28091587
I've occasionally gotten flashes of deja vu that feel like that. Either my brain is fucked or I'm one of the shittiest oracles ever. Both are kind of bad.

My only deja vu is in the form of "I swear I've been here before"

I've never been there before.

>>28091642
If an intruder breaks into your house with a gun, he's not going to be afraid to use it. They're less likely to hesitate before shooting another human

If they see you with a gun, they'll want to shoot you before you get the chance to hurt them.
If you only had a knife, you're not a threat as long as you aren't right next to them, and there's less incentive for him to shoot you.

I'd rather get robbed than have a shootout in my house.

>>28091717
Right now I'm having amnesia and déjà vu at the same time. I think I've forgotten this before.

>>28086500
Slowclap

>>28091751
If they see you with a knife, they're shooting you. If they see you, they're shooting you.

I have a gun, and knowledge of the local terrain (my house). I will most likely see them, before they see me. Why are you being such a self-deceptive faggot. You aren't convincing me with the horse shit you are pulling out of your ass, and part of you must know you're full of shit, so just accept the truth and move on.

>>28091405
>tfw you're the kwisatz haderach and everyone just thinks you're some weird kid

Follow the Golden Path. You know what you must do.

>>28091657
The truth exists beyond the gate.

>>28087146
Did you ever go back and open that door?

>>28089476
Probably just a burglar surprised to see someone in the house - I expect your parents cars were gone with them? Could be a neighbor sent to check on you.

>be me
>work at video store
>store lacks a proper staff fridge
>just store all our shit in the bottom of the drink fridge
>been working there for a year and a half
>ever since I started there has been this plastic container of what I assumed was potato salad
>no one ever thought to remove it
>year and a half later I think it's about time do something about it
>take it out
>open it up
>OHSWEETJESUSSOMETHINGJUSTMOVED
>mold has grown rampant inside of it, black disgusting shit everywhere
>smells like papa nurgle's shit
>none of this worries me at all
>show this to my attractive younger female co-worker
>she freaks out
>I chuckle heartily
>go and bin it

another one
>uni bag has some weird stench about it for a few weeks
>assume it was when I spilled something on it or some shit
>smell gets worse and worse
>mum comments on it being like wtf is that anon, check your bag
>by this point I know it can't just be residual smell from some long ago spillage
>search through bag
>a wild eldritch horror appears
>SAN LOSS
>fucking month old chocolate muffin in glad wrap
>blacker than django with mold
>reeks to high heaven
>is all smooshed up and it's a wonder none of it escaped into my bag

Took way too much acid one night.

It's been years and yet sometimes I have this sinking feeling that I'm still in that room, tripping my nuts off.

>>28089572
>>28092107
Back in... 2010 I believe me and my friends were meeting up to play some table top on Halloween. My friend whos house we were at had a big bowl of candy, and one of our other friends showed up high on acid. We made him hand the candy out to the kids because of how funny it was.

Two nights ago
>Be me, living alone
>Sleeping in my bedroom, close door
>it's around 3am
>hear knocking on my front door
>instantly awake, thinking it's an emergency
>open door, no-one there
>wierd, but too tired to give a shit, i had been up all night playing video games after a long days work
>close front door, lock it. go to bedroom, close door.
>around 20 min later my bedroom door opens itself and I hear a loud THUD just outside.
>freaking the fuck out, don't have a bedside lamp.
>yell out a very loud profanity
>go to light switch at the speed of a kenyan
>it was my cat

Turns out my cat has taken up to slamming into doors if it wants to get through and has figured out that if it jumps it can turn the handle on some doors. The little cunt.

>Last year
>Be lurking the web at 1 A.M. or so
>Door open leads to stairs, I lived in a second floor
>See trough the corner of my eye an spherical object that resembles a head.
>Scared tell my friends, they start joking
>25 or more minutes same thing. Same greenish head rolls from the first floor up the stairs
>Getting paranoid and almost shitting my pants.
>Tell my friends and say i will do "The magic" story from the book "Thirteen" by Hannon.
>go to the bathroom downstairs pitch black.
>Do as written, nothing happens.
>Go back to my room. Computer is off "what the hell?"
>Look through the windows... Whole fucking city is dark. Massive fucking blackout. I went downstairs for 7 minutes or less.
>NOPE NOPE NOPE
>Grab my phone and connect to Fb
>Friend scared to shit because all happened when i went downstairs

>>28087388
>Moderately intelligent

Fuck you we're the smartest things on the planet. What's your frame of reference
Ravens freak me the fuck out.
http://www.wimp.com/ravensspeak/

>>28089040
>Be 14ish
>Get drugged for wisdom teeth removal
>Gain and lose awareness in ~5min intervals
>See that Doc now has four eyes
>Oh God, what the fuck
>Why the fuck is this demon talking about his truck and laughing at me?!
>Does he see that I know
>Few minutes of this shit goes on
>Pass san and perception test
>Realize that my eyes have been crossed since I regained awareness.

The Demon Doctor was laughing at my dumbass face.

>>28092196
When I take acid, time seems to slow down. What feels like hours for me ends up being a couple minutes. I was at a party and ended up hooking up with the host's sister. She snuck me off to her room and got on top of me. From my perspective, I was pondering all my life's choices, all the decisions I've ever made, how those decisions made me who I am, and how they'll affect my future decisions. I literally thought she was riding me for 4 or 5 hours nonstop. I looked at the clock and it had been about 5 minutes. Sex on acid is the best thing ever.

>>28086422
Reminds me of one time I lost it.
>Biology class
>Body's feedback system being explained
>One girl says she feels funny sometimes and drinking water makes it go away.
>DC 2 SAN check
>Rolled a 1
>"AAARRR HAR HAR HAR HAR HAR!"
>Get clocked in Gym
>It was her boyfriend
>She felt so embarrassed she went home
>Conceded that I deserved it

>>28087799
Bullets can't kill ghosts, soldier boy.

>>28092778
More like an asshole check.

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>>28088116
>Black orbs of shadow
>Little girl
>Distant giggling
You're being haunted by a 2hu, mate. Alert your local shrine maiden immediately

Let me tell you about something that happened to a friend of a friend of mine. Now, I know this first line sounds a little cheesey and unreliable, but you'll have to trust me on this one. I was only able to really piece together what happened through bits and pieces of conversation, since nobody really wanted to talk about it, and from the way that neither of them wanted to talk about it, I really do think that something happened.

When I was a kid, one of my friends lived near a stretch of woods. She'd tell me that there was one particular part of the woods that we weren't allowed to go near, ever. Well, being kids, she and this other, slightly older kid, decided to check it out.

After a brief trek into the woods, they came to a small clearing. In the center of the clearing was a pile of animal bones, and she said that it felt...wrong, I guess. It could have just been nerves, but when you're a kid sneaking into a place you're not supposed to be, some times you just get that feeling that you should just go home and forget about it, right?

Well, the other kid (I don't want to use names, so I'll call him J.) decided he wasn't going to be a chicken and took a few steps closer to the bones, and then he flipped the fuck out. I mean like, REALLY flipped the fuck out. From what I gather, he actually tried to hurt K. (My other friend.) When she tried to run, a few steps after leaving the clearing, J just stopped and broke down crying, saying "I'm sorry! It wasn't me! I didn't do that!" over and over.

To this day, if anybody brings it up, J gets this really weird look like he's terrified of even thinking about it. K swears that when he attacked her, he looked -wrong-, like he wasn't really aware of what he was doing. Not angry, just... Disconnected.

It could just be a cover for J trying to get in her pants, in the clumsy way a teen might. But I think the fear in both their faces was enough to tell me that there really was something evil about that place.

>>28092894
Yeah, no, that's like calling all the food-related posts in this thread CON checks.

>>28089338
>>28089400
Oh god these are hilarious.

>>28092666

>Local anesthesia since I'm a badass for my wisdom teeth removal.
>Shitty cheapest dentist in whole wallonia, but hey, the state pays for it.
>The anesthesia isn't strong enough even after I get extra dose.
>He is literally butchering my face and seems to flip his sharp instruments everywhere in my mouth accidentally and laugh after.
>He is making fun of me for being a pussy the whole fucking time.

I swear to god that if I wasn't currently having a little blood fountain that would go as high as 10 cm above my face with every heartbeat and 2 teeth cut in half stuck in my jaw I'd have punch that nigger in the balls. In short never complain about hallucination ever again.

>>28092946
This reminds me of something I saw when I was very young. My memory of it is a little hazy, but I swear to fuck it actually happened.

I was dicking around in my basement, on the computer, when I hear a werid buzzing noise. Not like a bug, it's hard to describe, especially after all this time.

I turned around to see what it was and there was this little black fuzzy dot floating towards me. It was about the size of my thumbnail today, and just... A black, fuzzy dot floating in the air. I wasn't scared of bugs or anything but let me tell you that thing triggered my fight or flight instincts HARD. I backed the fuck out of my chair and fell to the floor screaming as I watched it slowly hover towards the wall.

I don't remember if it went through the wall or what but I have never been more terrified of anything in my entire life than that little black spot. As you might read about in some things, I was actually "petrified" with fear- I spent I don't know how many minutes curled up on the floor screaming my head off before I could calm myself down.

I don't know what that thing was, and I've never heard of anything really like it until now. I don't think I want to, either.

Even now, I can still picture that buzzing sound in my head, but I'm really lacking in the words to describe what that tone sounded like. Its like that noise was burned into my brain as something to be scared the fuck out of.

>On computer, late at night.
>Typing wurds because it's the 90s and no internet
>Speakers suddenly come on and this fucking Texan drawl goes, clear as day, "Aw hell, why dontcha go back to Mexico?!"
>Nothing else
>Thefuckwasthat.gif
I guess it picked up some guy's CB or some shit, but seriously, the shit.

>>28092778
Im sorry anon, I dont understand. Can you explain what i've missed? Clearly you somehow made her feel uncomfortable by laughing at her because she drank water.
Is it a sex related thing? What?

>>28093222
Not that guy, but when I read thatI laughed because the way she described it sounded like she was thirsty and didn't understand that sensation.

Probably side effects of all the meds I'm on right now.

>Be cooking bacon for delicious snack
>See shadow spider out of the corner of my eye
>Suddenly things get bright
>And loud
>Ringing in my ears, can't see things properly, like my eyes wont focus
>Knees start shaking
>Covered in a cold sweat
>Collapse on the floor, propped up against back door
>See the shadow spider go for my bacon
>Steps into the pan and shrieks, fucker got cooked in my lunch
>Roll SAN
>This is just too much to take right now
>Shit myself (Yes, I lost control of my bowels)
>Wait for a few minutes to come back to reality
>Get up, finish cooking, eat lunch, shower

My lunch wasn't even that good.

>>28092557
My cat did that too, except our house has doorknobs.

>Be around 10
>Have a nightmare and decide to sleep in mom's bed
>Trying to fall back to sleep
>Hear something bump or violently grab the doorknob
>I freak
>Mother bolts upright
>Door opens very slowly, in traditional horror-movie style
>I'm shitting my pants
>The cat walks in

>>28088834
They hear the orders of their damned dark overlord thats what

>>28093267
Can I get a list of what meds you're taking?

Purely academic curiosity.

>>28092666
Crossed eyes seems to be a common side effect of the anesthesia. And vomiting, in my case.

>>28093267
Im with this guy>>28093412

>be me, a few days ago
>be really fucking hungry
>looking through drawers for food
>find open package of pita bread
>I can't remember buying pita bread
>I don't even like it that much
>who cares
>I take two out and sort of violently stuff them in my mouth while reading the newspaper
>hunger not yet satisfied
>reaching into bag for third one
>notice large pale green dots all over it
>it's fucking molded
>rip open the box
>everything is fucking molded
>panic
>spit out what's left of the first two pitas
>spit and mold everywhere
>throw up
>the taste won't go away
>drink lots of soda
>eat what's left of my toothpaste
>the taste is still there

It's been two days now, and I swear it's still there.

>>28093412
I've got no fucking clue. They just give them to me on the cancer ward to help me with treatments. They gave me an injection to stimulate my bone marrow. Worst pain I've ever been in. I went in for chemo and begged for painkillers. 6 hours later the chemo was over and the pain had stopped and I couldn't remember a thing.

Same thing happened during my bone marrow biopsy.
>Would you like sedatives
>You're drilling into my hip, yes please
>Get one dose
>"Are you feeling anything?"
>"Why no doctor, I am not."
>Get another
>Suddenly this hospital bed is the comfiest thing ever
>Wake up 2 hours later
>Doctor tells me I swear a lot while under sedation
>Laugh and go back to sleep

Man I miss that sedative...

>>28093505

Did the same with a cheese filled cornet. Except the cheese turned ocean blue.

I literally was scared for my life.

>>28089089
This.

When I was a kid, I found furbies to be adorable and comforting. Not creepy at all. now as an adult, I definitely think they're weird looking but honestly I find it hilarious that people get so freaked out by them.

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>>28087440
... where do you live? dark ages London?

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>>28088433
>Also, never get your wisdom teeth pulled.
Yes, anon. Don't take them out. Let them breed within you.

>>28090869
>7/10 that was pretty clever.

>>28093505
>find open package of pita bread
>I can't remember buying pita bread
>everything is fucking molded

Dude, someone tried to kill you.

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>>28088433
Joke's on you, I had a localized anasthesiac instead of any of that other shit, so while the million different places they jabbed a needle hurt like hell for the next week or so, I was perfectly lucid.

Is getting your wisdom teeth removed such a big deal over there?
I got no troubles while removing them, sure the dentist was the cute daughter of my orthodontist and I got local anerthesia (I don't even know if they use gas in my country).
The only thing that sucked was not being able to eat whatever I wanted for about 3 days. The only weird thing was that my dentist said that my coagulation was too active and made difficult to get the teeth quickly somehow

>>28093650
Dude the munchies tried to kill him

>>28093683

I didn't have any troule getting my wisdom teeth out. I just had local anaesthetic. They did have to shatter one of them and pull it out in pieces, but that wasn't a big deal. I didn't wind up with no dry socket or anything.

>>28093250
Oh.
Thanks Anon.

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>Open rice cooker
>I forgot to clean it out
>Last time I used it was over two weeks prior
>Hot humid summer
>So much mold it looks like the inside of a cotton candy drum
>Cordyceps fungus video playing in the back of my head.
>MOLD COMES IN PURPLE?
>Nope.jpg as I repress gag reflex scooping the remnants into the garbage.
>Immediately buy a jug of bleach.
>Fill that fucker to the brim. Leave it for two days.
>Even after dumping the bleach and multiple scrub-downs, it still smells like fungus.

It eventually went away, but it was not my most pleasant discovery.

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>>28087972

I'm going squatching this weekend with some friends in Olympic National Park. How do I avoid any skinwalker incidents?

>>28089700
My brother. Fuck any road with four digit house numbers. Or where mailboxes are all on the same side. They never make any fucking sense.

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>Try very, very hard to not crush on a the smartest and hottest person I have ever met
>Fail utterly, confess to her
>Be rejected
>Start seeing her face on every other woman's body for about a week
>MFW

>>28093160
Watch "My Neighbour Totoro". It will either give you closure or fuck you up even more.

>>28093942
Lucky. I've wanted to go squatching for a while now.

From what I've heard though, be prepared for either disappointment or some major SAN loss. I once heard this recording a couple made on a ski trip where they heard like four of the things roaring off in the distance. Pretty damn spooky.